Chapter 13: Clarity can be Caught

She felt like she got hit by a truck.

Rhoda groaned, waking up from the floor. Afternoon sun flitted light through the blinds of her parent's farmhouse. Briefly, she wondered who she was.

"Jeepers," she muttered, clamping hands on both of her throbbing temples.

It would be two days before she had to meet Jared again.

Her body creaked with weary joints. Half-finished chores cluttered over a layer of dust -a product of her hyperactive airing of her parents' Kansas home. She followed the trail of empty coffee bags.

The old taste of brew soiled the inside of her mouth. Wiping a hand over swollen eyes, she tried to take an inventory of what had happened yesterday.

Bought lots of ground beans. And a coffee maker. Went to Kansas. Brewed, so much. Aired the house. Or at least tried to. Blur. Fainted around 4 A.M.

Rhoda stepped over the set of strewn plates she had meant to dust. And the bundle of cobwebbed curtains she had meant to launder. And the sponge and a bucket of water she had meant to clean the windows with.

Her heart still pounded from premium roast. Her hands trembled for more.

She didn't want to think as her eyes flickered to the unused bags of fresh ground coffee.

Again, she finished nothing of what she wanted to do.

Pandemonium trashed the rooms of more unfinished chores by the time Rhoda found herself, arms-around-her-knees, in the shower. She didn't even know what time it was anymore.

When she collapsed in her old room, all she wanted to do was sleep as she chugged her 25th mug.

Exhausted, sleep evaded her (she wondered why). She wanted to avoid the thoughts that Jacques held at bay through the comfort of his warmth.

However, Jacques was gone. She was alone. Caffeine clutched her with the jitters of nauseous insomnia.

She sat on her old bed, waiting for the thoughts to come.

Her mind went back to Jared. Their good times together. Their bad times together. What she knew. What Jared knew, countering what she thought she knew.

Who was right? Who was wrong?

What is real?

Am I crazy?

Someone once said they could never guess what was in her head.

Her eyes became heavy yet her thoughts thrived, persistent as weeds.

XOXOXOXO

Her thoughts had gone wild.

Was she dreaming?

Wearing blue overalls, she skipped down the yellow brick road. On her side was Ash in his Tin Man armor. On his shoulder was his broom he would use in his movie. Aurelius with his flowing mane of curls was on her other side, wearing a tan fur coat. Frost White, the scarecrow, sang with the birds as Jacques led the way.

Mina, the munchkin appeared, pointing at a foreboding castle ahead of them.

"Behold, the Wicked (bleep) of the West!"

"Don't you mean witch?"

"I said what I said."

Rhoda froze, knowing who she would meet again.

Everything darkened. Her friends vanished as she looked around wildly.

"Ash? Mina? Jacques?"

The ground opened into a rabbit hole and she dropped, her screams following her on the way down.

"Aaaaaauuuugh!"

Her fall ended when she crashed a rabbit-shaped hole in the ground. Groaning, she climbed out, wearing Victorian clothes of a schoolboy.

"Where am I?"

She looked like she was in a large sitting room with no doors out. Her eyes looked back to the rabbit hole she had came from, looking like a sole star in the underground's darkness.

Looks like I hit rock bottom.

Something in the corner caught her eye, and she crouched down for a better look. It was a mouse hole door. When she peeked through its glass window, she could see a sunlit garden.

"Wait! I'm gonna be late!" She paused, looking down at herself. "Or am I the one chasing myself?"

She looked around. "There must be something in here that can make me small..."

The scent of carrot cake hit her nose, and she looked at the table beside her. It looked exactly like how Jared used to bake them.

Her eyes watered at the sight, remembering kisses of cream and cinnamon. And lies when she found out to whom else he would bake them for.

Tears flooded out of her as she sobbed. She breathed in, trying to gain control. But her tears only kept coming.

She bawled, no longer fighting it. The more that she cried, the smaller she became.

Finally, her tears buoyed her. She paddled, hiccuping.

The mouse hole door burst open from the pressure. Like a flushing toilet, the torrent swept her out as she screamed in surprise.

Coughing, she found herself drifted underneath a mushroom.

"Hey there, rabbit."

Squeezing the water out of her ears, she peeped above the toadstool.

It was Edna smoking a hookah. When she looked closer, her hookah was filled with jellybeans.

"You vape? Surely, you jape," Rhoda commented wryly.

Edna inhaled the fruity vapors. "State your business."

Rhoda balanced on the tips of her toes to hover above the mushroom's head. "I'd feel better if I'm a li'l bit bigger."

"Is that how you feel about yourself?"

Her brows knitted in confusion. "It's how I am right now."

Edna blew smoke on her. "Maybe because you're looking at yourself through a haze."

"You're not exactly helping," Rhoda coughed, using her hand to fan away the smoke.

"What do you know, Purple Eyes?"

"My eyes aren't purple!... Are they?"

Edna snorted red and blue vapors. "You're worse than I thought." She tossed her a small mushroom. "Change of view," she said, like a doctor prescribing a medicine.

Shrugging, Rhoda gulped it down. She almost wretched at the taste of sweat of slaving artists.

"Wait! Don't just-"

Too late. Rhoda exploded in size, becoming a humanoid toon. She blinked in shock, finding herself in a tea party.

She looked down at her extra fifth fingers. "Not again," she groaned.

"Here ya go!"

Someone poured tea into her cup. When she looked up, it was Penny the Hatter. Wisps of tea mingled in the air, smelling of jasmine and orange.

Her heart twisted with the memories of his care. She drank it. With a poof, she turned back into a rabbit.

"I'm a Beanbag

A Beanbag

A flippity floppity beanbag!"

Penny sang as she danced on top of the table, maneuvering around tea cups and cakes. Besides Rhoda, Coco the March Hare looked more sullen than usual, having to wear an Easter Bunny suit.

"Whoa, careful!" Rhoda said as Penny danced too close to a cracked cup. They all flinched when it jolted off the table and crashed into pieces.

Penny's lip trembled. "Awe, poor thing." She dropped down beside the fragments about to scoop them with her hands.

"Don't touch it," Rhoda cautioned.

Coco swept the pieces away with a broom and an actual pan. "You care a lot. But it shouldn't be at your expense."

"He's right, Penny."

Coco baldly looked at her. "I wasn't talkin' to her."

Almost like an impulse, he and Penny smashed down a button, causing Rhoda's seat to eject her high into the sky.

Rhoda and her screams arched through the air. Then gravity decided that she must come down.

"OOF! Ow! Ooof! Aurgh! Ow!" she articulated as she hit a tree branch after tree branch.

After getting acquainted with the tree's limbs, fate introduced Rhoda to its roots in an explosion of stars.

Lumped and bruised, she sat up, as bright as a chewed up dog toy. "I feel so close to Mother Nature."

She stood up and looked around. Confusion gripped her when she heard purring.

Her ears swept the air, trying to find the source. She looked up into the trees.

A form of a humanoid toon slowly appeared, perched on the branches. His green eyes were catlike. His suit striped and velvet like that of a tabby feline.

She cocked her head at the knowing grin in his lips.

Her chest twinged, remembering her last encounter with Jesse.

"You confuse me," she stated.

Jesse said nothing but the flick of his tail.

"But there's nothing to talk about, is there?" she asked. "Just don't do it again."

With those words in mind in case she met the actual Jesse again, Rhoda climbed the tree.

I'm lost. I need to see where I am; she thought. Hooking her arm around a sturdy branch, her feet scrabbled to follow.

One branch after another, she finally found a height of her liking. Making herself at home, she sat close to the trunk and looked at the view.

She could see the Mad Hatter and the March Hare continuing their tea party. The Mad Hatter was now trying to balance a stack of cups on her companion's head.

"I can see why you like it here," Rhoda spoke. "You can see everything."

The Cheshire Cat slowly vanished from sight.

"But doesn't it make you feel lonely? Being detached from everyone else?" she continued as his head remained visible.

He finally turned to her as everything but his eyes disappeared. They seemed to crinkle at her with kindness.

The Cheshire Cat's eyes floated dreamlike towards her direction. Gradually, his body materialized, floating to sit down next to her.

"Is that what you're afraid of? Being out of touch?" he asked with a grin.

She rested against his shoulder. "I don't know how you can bear with it."

He tilted her chin up, meeting her eyes. "Who said I didn't care?"

Confused, she leaned back. Jesse vanished. The trees vanished. Checkerboard grass grew beneath her feet in white and red, each square as wide as a cottage.

"Ash! Mina!" she cried, finally seeing her friends.

But like chess pieces, they slid further away from her.

"Mater! Pater! Wait!" she pleaded as they faded away.

Her breath grew rapid. She was alone.

The ground trembled. Rhoda screamed in surprise when the earth cracked open, revealing the King of Hearts.

"Jared!" she gasped.

Thorned vines slithered out, its roses dripping red. Inside the barbed monstrosity, she could see Jared imprisoned, yet commanding it at the same time. Spikes pricked and tore at her dress as she tried to tug them away from him.

"Get out of there! It's hurting y- aaugh!"

She struggled, wincing. The climbing roses encircled her wrists. Her waist. Her ankles. Jared only smirked, unmindful of the thorns.

"Jared, p-p-p-p-please..." she whimpered as the vines forced her into a bow before him.

He unsheathed the sword on his hip. "Off," he drawled, "with her head."

"Mater… Pater..." she gasped. Searing pain ran down her face in tears. "Jesse..."

Green feline eyes gradually materialize into view.

"Detach, Rhoda."

She whimpered, feeling the blade of a sword at the back of her neck. "I can't. I'm not like you."

"Detach."

The sword swung down into an arc.

Rhoda's eyes widened, struck.

She could feel herself floating. When she looked down, she couldn't see her hands. Or the rest of her body. Instead, she saw it from afar. Jared standing tall above what remained of her. She gazed at them for a long time.

She wondered if that was how they had always been.

XOXOXOXO

It was one in the morning by the time Jesse got home. He sighed, having turned down an offer to join the table of his admirers in the club.

How can you say no to that? Duchess, the owner of Ink-and-Paint Club, had asked. Especially after they had sent him gifts.

They were rich. They were old. They were powerful. And they were lonely. Years ago, he would have agreed for another meetup. He knew the ropes. He could predict their expectations and what they would want from him. But after what had happened with Acme, he'd rather not get too close again.

Instead, his mind wandered to Rhoda, pondering if she was alright wherever she was.

The phone rang. He wondered who could it be. Puzzled, he went to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Jesse?"

His heart skipped a beat.

"Rhoda?"

"I'm sorry for calling-"

"Don't ever apologize," he replied, getting a hunch where she might have gotten her habit of constantly saying sorry.

"Huh?"

"I'm glad you called. Are you alright?"

There was a pulse of silence. "I'm fine. How's Jacques?"

He gripped the phone closer. "Missing you."

The silence stretched longer.

"Can I… can I talk to you?"

Hope brightened in his chest. "Of course."

He heard her inhale, hesitating. "Can I come over?"

His fingers momentarily clenched the phone cord. "What about your tooning?"

She winced. "I can do it. It's how I got here in Kansas."

Holding the phone's handset at arm's length, Jesse waited.

Moments later a lump crawled from the phone's plug to its cord and finally to the handset. Rhoda slipped out and fell on all fours, tenderly holding her side.

Jesse knelt down beside her. "You didn't have to do that if it hurts."

"I have to. I need you."

She yelped in surprise when he hugged her. He smiled in apology when she gave him a questioning look. Jesse wasn't one for impulses.

"Sorry," he said, sweeping her bangs. "I'm just glad you're alright."

She hugged him back. "I still don't like what you did."

"I'm really sorry about that." He rubbed her back. "I shouldn't have let him get me."

Rhoda smiled, making him feel like his day had finally ended well. He helped her up and led her to the kitchen.

She looked beaten. Tired. She rubbed her arm, her eyes reflecting grinding gears in her head.

"You said you've known Jared, right?"

He nodded, setting down two mugs. Turning on the stove, he put the kettle on.

"I've known him for a long time. I just want to know if I'm seeing things right."

"Okay," he agreed, getting out a tin of jasmine tea.

She clutched her mug uncertainly. "But before I tell you my whole story, promise me you won't get mad."

Author's Notes: That's it for today, guys. What do you think of Rhoda's thoughts running wild with the binary swap Wizard of Oz and the binary swap Alice in Wonderland?