Chapter 10

Padme did one last look over her outfit in the women's bathroom, taking care to smooth out any creases from being packed in a suitcase to the best of her ability. For the most part, it looked alright. There were a few stubborn fold marks that took a little more water and effort to smooth out, but eventually, they faded into the floral pattern of the dress. The PA made the boarding call for the three o'clock flight to Denver followed by the usual TSA announcements that she had practically memorized. Leaning closer to the mirror, she touched up her makeup that for once was slightly more than just her usual eyeliner. A little lip gloss, some blush… nothing fancy or outrageous. Most people probably wouldn't even notice.

But, Dorme wasn't most people. The two of them had been working on the same flight and it hadn't taken the woman long to notice she had curled her hair and done up in a loose bun, the makeup, or the way she kept checking her watch throughout the flight. Every chance she had on the two-hour flight had been spent pestering her until she told her she had a date, which prompted more questions that she was even more reluctant to answer. It had been harrowing but she had to admit it was a bit of a relief to talk about it with Dorme. As nosey as she was, when it came down to it, Padme could always depend on her to be a sympathetic ear and a reassuring presence.

This would be the first time in three months that she and Anakin were meeting in person. Talking on the phone and by text was nice and he could be so funny and he made her smile… but as their date inched closer on her calendar, she knew things couldn't go on as they were forever. She wanted them to, but she also wanted more. She had been content with her life as it was for a long time but talking with Anakin had awakened a part of her that she had completely forgotten about. The romantic part of her that longed for a lifelong companion, a warm body to wake up next to, a shoulder to lean on, someone to share in the joys and woes of parenting. And as much as she likes Anakin, it just takes too much effort to keep seeing him and so, after three months it's time for her to figure out just how much she is worth to him. If they want the same thing, then that's great, she'll at least know her efforts have the potential for some positive gain. But if not, then there was no point in continuing knowing the end result would just be heartbreak and disappointment.

It had been a difficult conclusion to come to and one she was almost fearful she couldn't follow through with when the time came but she knew she had to. They had been talking about him coming up to see her or her coming down to see him at some point in the future. And that took money, and more importantly time. Time she could otherwise spend with her family and most importantly Luke. She and Anakin weren't the only people involved in… whatever this was. Regardless of their feelings, she had to put her son first.

Shaking her head and taking one last deep breath, she checked that she had corrected the time on her watch and ran through her mental checklist to make sure she had everything before she mustered the courage to put her hand on her bag and wheel it out of the bathroom and towards the food court in Terminal Two they had agreed to meet at. She tried to push her nerves about what she had to talk about him out of mind, instead wanting to enjoy their time for a little bit before she had to bring it up. But it was so difficult and she worried he would be able to see straight through to her nerves. Through the long walk, she tried to harden her expression but then softened, and then tried to take relaxing breaths. She must have looked a fool to passersby but she couldn't decide how to make herself look calm and worry-free. If she hardened her face too much, Anakin might wonder what was wrong, and relaxing was harder than it should have been as she could feel the stiffness in her body and tightness in her cheeks when she tried to smile. She had no doubt that he would notice. No doubt that the strenuous thoughts plaguing her mind would come out sooner than she would like.

Anakin stood near the entrance to the food court, his jacket absent and his tie loosened and the top button of his shirt undone. His back was pressed against a pillar with LED advertisements scrolling across the screen, his eyes scanning through the crowds looking completely obvious that he was waiting for her. In his hands, he had two coffees, one hot and one iced. His bag sat next to him, the top zipper wide open with the gold stripped cuff of his sleeve hanging out, looking as though he just stuffed the thing in the bag without a care for neatness. Padme slowed her walk, breathing heavy and noticing for the first time that she had been closer to a run than a walk. It took only a moment for their eyes to meet and the smile that graced his handsome face had the power to make the gray cloud that had been following her dissipate. The chatter of foreign languages faded and the PA went mute as she weaved her way through the crowds towards him and his smile seemed to widen.

Extending his hand with the iced coffee towards her, he passed her the drink. "Iced mocha latte?" He offered, and she couldn't help but laugh as she took the drink from him. When exactly had she told him what coffee she drank? It had to be at some point but it was just a silly thing for him to have remembered and yet the simple act spoke volumes.

"Thank you," She said, taking a small sip followed by a long gulp of the drink. She was more thirsty than she thought.

"So, I was checking with the information guy, see what there is around here to do and all, there's a few small museums on farming and Indians and stuff," He said giving a nonchalant shrug, "Not all too interesting if you ask him. But there is a large garden about an hour from here. It's by a hotel too. So I was thinking, we check-in to the hotel and then go there? Unless you'd rather do something else, of course."

Padme smiled. She'd done a bit of research on her own about the area and as far as activities in the area went, the gardens were frequently mentioned. "That sounds wonderful," She said, not missing the way he seemed to perk up before they started walking side by side down to get a cab to the hotel. They talked almost the entire way, catching up on things they hadn't had the chance to mention before, sharing pictures on their phones. It was all just so perfect. At some point during the ride, Anakin had slung his arm over her shoulder and subconsciously, she shifted closer to him as though they did this all the time. It felt so natural and so right that when they reached the hotel she didn't want to get out.

But reluctantly, she did. Checking in, their rooms were just across the hall from one another and Padme's eyes widened in surprise when Anakin opened his door just long enough to grab the "Do Not Disturb sign and hang it outside and shoving his bag through the door before closing it and turning back to her.

"What?" He asked, his brow raised in question.

"You're not going to unpack?" She asked.

"…No?"

Padme shook her head and unlike him, walked all the way inside her room, Anakin following her in but not venturing farther than the door. Lifting her bag onto the bed, she went about unpacking as she always did. Hanging her uniform, storing her heels in the closet, putting her toiletries in the bathroom… Anakin inched a little closer leaning up to peek into her suitcase before looking at her with a confused expression on his face, "How many outfits do you need?" He asked.

She gave a small shrug as she reorganized her bag, "Two uniforms, pajamas, raincoat, sweatshirt, three outfits…"

"It's seventy degrees all week!"

"I like to be prepared," She said.

He shook his head, "I normally just have clean underwear and a spare shirt and tie." He muttered. Padme smiled as she finished her routine, ignoring his doomsday prepper joke as they left the hotel and took another cab to the gardens.

They walked slowly along the brick trail that twisted and turned through the gardens. Shoulders brushing ever so slightly, they talked for a while about whatever they could. Anakin was excited about the NHL draft and gave his prediction on the top rookies and free-agents he figured had a shot. She didn't understand some of the statistics he talked about, but smiled all the same loving his enthusiasm. She told him about the latest show she'd started binging on Netflix which just happened to be a documentary series on the justice system. That topic had sparked some of his more radical ideas about crime and punishment, which shocked her but nevertheless intrigued her because his sentiments came from a life experience she could not relate to at all. His words were genuine but at the same time, confident that one day someone would come around who can fix the system.

As the sun started to set, they found a small patch of grass by a pond and sat to watch as the sky burned bright overhead. The silence and the calm brought back thoughts of the words she had to have with Anakin. Part of her wanted to just blurt it out and get it over with— rip it off like a band-aid and be done with it however that may be. But the more fearful part of her longed to draw it out and came up with excuses to delay in talking with him. The gardens were too beautiful to taint with a serious conversation that very well might end badly. She could easily talk about it with him on the phone once they went back home. What does being in person change about the result? It's a yes or no, something that could easily be done later. The conflicting thoughts were driving her crazy! She wanted to know what this was to him, but at the same time, she dreaded his answer. Padme took a deep breath to try and calm herself as she kept her gaze focused intently on the horizon.

"Something bothering you?"

She nearly jumped at his question as she turned her head to face him. Anakin was leaning back on a forearm as he watched her with a furrow in his brow. She gave him a tight smile, trying to play it off as just being jet lagged. "Nothing," She said. His brow raised skeptically at her and immediately she felt herself crash under the weight of the worry in her head. "Okay! What exactly is this to you?" She asked, a bit more blunt than the tactful way she had hoped to ask him.

"What?"

"This," She sighed, holding her arms out for emphasis, "Us. What-what… I don't know what you want, but I know what I want— what I need." Her eyes closed as she took another deep breath, "I like you, Anakin. More than… I've liked anyone in a long time. I… I need to know where you see this going because… it's more than just me having a son. It's that I need to know that I'm not deluding myself in thinking that there's… something." Padme held his gaze as he stared at her, his eyes wide in surprise at the depth of her words. She was certain he could see how nervous she was, but she couldn't see much in his expression besides surprise. He hadn't been expecting it. He didn't know how to answer. Immediately, her mind started to plan escape routes, ways to excuse herself, and trying to remember the way back to the main building where she could call a cab to pick her up.

Anakin shifted his body to face her as he started to recover from his shock, his Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed and placed his hand over hers. "Padme…" He started, "I…" She shifted uncomfortably as she prepared for the inevitable truth to come out. She opened the door for too much, too fast and now it was going to be slammed in her face and all she could do was brace herself for it. "I don't know what to say," He said, heaving a heavy sigh. "I… I don't know what it is between us, but… I want to find out," He said, smiling as he said the same thing he'd said in Seattle. "I feel —and I know this sounds crazy— but, I feel like there's this connection between us. And something just tells me that however it ends, it's worth getting there to see it, you know?" He gave a shrug as he leaned forward, resting an elbow on his knee, "I know meeting all the time like this is insane and impractical in so many ways and honestly, I probably would have given up by now. But I don't want to."

"Neither do I," Padme said, feeling herself lean closer to him and watching as he did too. His hand came up to her cheek, stroking the bone lightly as he helped to guide her closer to him until she felt the light touch of his lips on hers. He made no move to deepen the kiss, waiting for her permission to seek more, permission she was glad to give him.