Author's Notes: I wrote a short ficlet in Chapter 13 of Tales From The Front Lines, covering Mako's correspondence with two of her cousins in the aftermath of Onibaba up until she started school. Be sure to read it for help recognizing some of what went on with Mako's family. This chapter draws heavily on Guillermo Del Toro's early biography of Mako, where he describes her Great Aunt Genya's cruelty to her in Tokyo and her father's family's rejection of Mako and her mother.

Cultural Notes: I'm not Japanese, so my preemptive apologies if I handle any subject matter insensitively. I did a lot of research into the etiquette of visiting relatives, family reunions, and honoring graves, but also drew from an article I read a few years ago about millennial culture shaking up old traditions in Japan, just like everywhere else. In particular, teens and young adults being more willing to challenge elder generations and traditions they felt were oppressive. That influenced my writing of Mako's cousins a great deal, in their steadfast support of her and correspondence with her in defiance of their parents' wishes.

Technical Issue: The website seems to have borked up this chapter more than usual. I think I've found all the places where words and phrases got erased at the ends or beginnings of sentences (some issue with punctuation for some reason) but let me know if I missed any.

Chapter Seventeen: Can I Ever Go Home?

"Nobody will come for you. Nobody. You were the end of your father and the end of the Mori bloodline both."

Great Aunt Genya's words still rang in Mako's head with perfect clarity after nine years, and now they rang in Raleigh's head too. The handshake had wavered from his shock before they even went out of alignment back in that first test in Gipsy, a lifetime ago. Strange how it felt like so long ago, Mako's first meeting with Raleigh's mind, yet now her last departure from Tanegashima seemed like yesterday.

On the flight back to her family home, it was Mako's turn to be nervous. The day before they left, she dyed her hair back to its natural color, taking out the blue. Several of the crew - and Jake - did double-takes at breakfast the following morning, and she felt Raleigh's startled reaction, but neither her lover nor her brother questioned her.

Seeing the beaches and Space Center from the air again was incredibly strange. The one and only time she'd flown to or from Tanegashima had been that last morning, on the way to Tokyo with her parents.

No kaiju had come ashore there. It seemed despite the Space Center's presence, the island was just too small with too little runoff to draw a kaiju away from the pollution trails leading to enormous cities like Tokyo or Osaka.

They came in to land on the island so low that Mako had a clear view of the famous waves and surfers just offshore. Japan had worked very hard to clean its waters of Kaiju Blue and now reaped the rewards - the fishing and water sports industries were coming back here faster than anywhere else in the Pacific.

During Mako's first few years as Stacker Pentecost's daughter, Jake had wanted to learn to surf. He'd loved the big waves off his father's Pacific postings, and as long as there was no Blue alert, Sensei had indulged him. But Mako had never gone, despite his entreaties for her to join him as a fellow novice partner.

Tamsin and Sensei had intervened, gently explaining to Jake that the ocean frightened Mako, and he'd eventually let it go.

He'd never realized Mako Mori, if she'd been able to bring herself to go back into the ocean, was not a novice surfer. Every child raised in Tanegashima knew how to surf at least a little bit. Mako had learned that from her mother - one of many qualities in Masao Mori's wife that had caused his family to regret their marriage, along with Mako's sex. Sumako had scandalized her husband's family with her behavior, and they'd blamed Sumako when Masao had educated Mako in the art of swordmaking instead of adopting a nephew or male cousin as his apprentice.

Great Aunt Genya had endlessly wailed that the Mori bloodline would end with Mako even before Masao died, but she and the rest of Masao Mori's family still vastly preferred a boy without the name of Mori to be Masao's apprentice than a girl with the name of Mori.

Sensei had never told Mako exactly what they'd said when he visited them to explain he was seeking to adopt her, though both she and Jake had asked more than once. Tamsin used to turn red when they tried to appeal to her, but agreed with Sensei that it wasn't worth going into "difficult details," suffice it to say that none of her father's family had made any objection to the adoption.

As she'd grown up, Mako had come to realize that she had her answer. She'd dared to tell Sensei so once during a visit to Nagasaki Shatterdome, shortly before she started at the Jaeger Academy. "Great Aunt Genya was right. Nobody was coming for me. They didn't want me. They must have told you that you were welcome to me. Or good riddance."

Sensei's eyes had darkened with anger, but not at her. He'd covered her hand with his. "I spoke with some of your teachers from school and a few of your playmates' parents during my visit in 2016. They all spoke of how dearly your parents loved you, Mako-chan. They disapproved very strongly of your father's family's actions and felt your father's memory had been dishonored. If you ever want to go back, I'll go with you."

Mako had shaken her head. At the time, she'd had Academy and her plans to think about, and knew Sensei was distracted by the Jaeger Program's struggles. "I would like to see Tanegashima again someday. But...I don't know how I could without seeing them."

If Mako's mother had had any living family, things might have been different. But Sumako's family had been very small. Mako vaguely remembered having grandparents who doted on her, despite any disappointment they might have had about Mako not being a boy. They'd come to her school recitals and once to a swimming race at the beach, settled under umbrellas in the best chairs waving her school flags with the other grandparents. They'd both been gone by the time Mako was ten.

Mako's father had once scoffed at the old monster movies and gently argued with his in-laws about letting Mako watch them. "You'll frighten her away from the ocean, and then who will swim and surf with Sumako?"

"Are you afraid, little Mako?" Mako's grandmother had asked.

"I am not!" Mako had exclaimed, outraged.

The adults had laughed. "She's a fearless girl, like her mother. The movies are fun, but remember, little Mako, they come from much older legends. Every legend has some truth in its roots."

Mako had been more delighted than scared. "You mean there really were sea monsters?!"

"Of course not, there's no such thing as monsters," Masao had insisted.

"No," her grandfather had conceded. "But legends of monsters were our ancestors' way of reminding us to respect the ocean. It gives us life, but it can also bring death. Never take safety for granted."

In 2011, watching the horrific images of the Tōhoku earthquake and tsunamis, Mako had whispered, "That's what you meant when you said the ocean can bring death."

Her grandfather had nodded.

Two years later, watching Trespasser emerge from the sea to tear into San Francisco, Mako's mother had whispered, "I'm glad my father is no longer here to witness this."

After that day, Masao had never again said there was no such thing as monsters, and neither Mako nor any of her cousins and friends could stand to watch the old kaiju movies anymore. It had been all too real, and even the youngest, most sheltered of them had known it was only a matter of time.

"Things are different now," the adults had reassured them all. "There are submarines and sonar detectors being placed throughout the ocean. There will be plenty of warning if one of those...creatures approaches Japan. Soon we'll begin practice drills for evacuation to Kyushu, and also for receiving evacuees from other islands here."

After the third attack, work had begun on the kaiju bunkers in most cities, even smaller towns and villages in Tanegashima. They'd been finished on Tanegashima by the end of 2015. As a result, it had never occurred to Mako that the bunkers in Tokyo might not be finished by May 2016. Of course, even if they had been, Mako's parents wouldn't have known where those bunkers were.

She'd tucked herself tighter and tighter under Raleigh's arm without realizing it. His little spike of irritation brought her back to the present, and she saw where it was directed: some tourists trying to aim cameras at them. On her other side, Jake was scowling, trying to push himself into the way as much as he could.

The Weis had offered to pull strings to send Mako, Raleigh, and Jake to Tanegashima by chopper rather than commercial flight. Mako half-wished she'd taken them up on it. Even the passengers who weren't trying to aim cameras were whispering and staring eagerly.

Mako's tablet buzzed; she glanced at it without thinking and winced. "The entire island knows we're on our way. My...father's family has contacted the Shatterdome, to invite us to stay with them."

She felt that little twinge through the drift that she'd come to identify as Raleigh restraining himself from cursing aloud. He hadn't had to do that until returning to the Shatterdome. It did make her smile. "You could say no. We've reserved the hotel," Jake murmured.

It might have been a very long time since Mako had stayed anywhere outside a Shatterdome, but she still remembered the dance of etiquette her birth family had taught her. Please tell them we don't wish to inconvenience them on such short notice. We're happy to stay at a hotel.

Less than ten minutes later, the reply came, and she sighed. They say it would be a great honor. Your father's cousin now lives in your old house and has no children. His parents say it would be an honor to have you stay there.

Raleigh was shamelessly reading over her shoulder, and his anger spiked in the ghost drift. Where the hell did they get off inviting Mako to be a guest in the home they'd stolen from her?! "Shh," she murmured. Starting off indignant wouldn't help anything. They'd all known this would probably happen - that was why Mako had scheduled only three days for the visit.

"Don't worry, we'll behave," whispered Jake.

Great, now she had two puppy-dog faces to look at, one on each side of her, and it was impossible to maintain a bad mood. She laughed quietly and texted Jin back. Please tell them I'm happy to accept if they are sure it's not an imposition.

Maybe she was worrying too much. There had been talk during her childhood that her father would take his cousin's son as apprentice - her father had been agreeable but scandalized the family by insisting Mako would be his apprentice alongside her cousin, Haku.

At least she remembered Haku as nice, only three years older than her, bewildered by all the expectations heaped on him as the only boy of their generation. His twin sister, Emica, had corresponded with Mako against her parents' wishes for years, and that had only waned as the war plunged into true crisis and left Mako with no time for anything other than work. She had no idea whether the family's fortunes with sons had changed in nine years.

If Jake weren't so very aware of how nervous Mako was and how badly she wanted to make a good impression, he would probably have been in a far more belligerent mood. As it was, he was glad that he wasn't the one with a ghost drift with Mako today, because she kept shooting quick little warning looks at Raleigh. Yeah, Becket probably felt much the same way as Jake - maybe more, since he would've seen into Mako's head just how she felt about her dad's family leaving her in an orphanage.

Jake's dad had flatly refused to speak of what Mako's dad's family had said when he visited Tanegashima with the adoption paperwork. All Jake or Mako knew was that her only remaining blood relatives had all signed off and gave her almost nothing to remember her parents by.

Jake had tried to pump his dad for information a few times, once in the presence of Tamsin. But they'd both held firm...only Tamsin had flushed with anger and Jake's dad...he was always so good at self-restraint, but Jake had seen it in the set of his jaw, the hard glint in his eyes as he looked into the distance. And Jake had known.

As the plane landed, Mako whispered, "They're waiting for us at the airport."

Jake and Raleigh exchanged a long look over Mako's head. "All of 'em?" Jake asked. She nodded.

So, the very ones who hadn't lifted a finger to help her were here now, rolling out the red carpet and hanging onto her coattails. Even in Japan, I guess the best defense is still a good offense. Still, he reminded himself - repeatedly - that Mako would be humiliated if Jake was even the slightest bit less than gracious. Not to mention, Gran and Gramps would shake their heads over in London and huff that I really do take after my dad. So he'd get a lot of practice at biting his tongue.

So he braced himself, and judging by their pinched expressions, both Raleigh and Mako were doing the same, expecting gushing and grandstanding.

...they were all wrong. It was bowing and apologizing. Even crying.

The oldest woman had to be Mako's grandmother on her father's side. Some of the reporters looked shocked to see all these people, clearly Mako's elders, denouncing their own behavior for having let her go to an orphanage and be adopted by a stranger. Jake was still reeling in amazement at hearing the kinds of formal confessions reserved for government press conferences when Mako's grandmother abruptly switched her attention to him and began bowing to him.

"Please forgive me, I meant no disrespect to Marshall Pentecost. He was a very great man, and we are in his debt, for saving our civilization and for doing what we failed to do for our daughter."

Jake gulped and mumbled noncommittally, "I'm not offended." Not on my dad's behalf, anyway. Though he had to admit, he'd wondered what the Moris had thought about the man who'd adopted Mako.

"Does Ranger Becket speak any Japanese?" asked one of the younger adults, a man about Mako's age. "Only a few of us speak fluent English."

Mako smiled, relaxing just a little, and raised her eyebrows at was a funny quirk to Raleigh's return grin as he bowed to the group and answered, "Yes, we both do."

The family exchanged surprised smiles and bowed back. "Welcome. We are so honored to have you visit."

Children pressed forward from the onlookers, wanting pictures and autographs, but their parents tugged them back, scolding gently to let Ranger Mori visit her family without interruption. Mako grinned at them and whispered, "Later, I promise. I want to show Raleigh and Jake the whole island." Several kids squealed, and Jake had to grin too.

Mako's family had hired cars to drive them to her village, which meant Raleigh and Jake didn't even get the drive to really form a game plan with her. Raleigh kept his smile bland and focused on minding his manners, not wanting to stress Mako any more than she already was by thinking or feeling too much. He'd barely managed to keep a straight face when Mako's great-aunt Genya welcomed her, remembering the bitter, cold woman's words in Tokyo.

They were ringing loud in Mako's mind through the ghost drift already, so he had to not dwell on them. He handled digging through the gifts they'd brought to pick out what would be best for their host and hostess, reserving some nice ones for Mako's grandmother and great-aunt as etiquette required for the family elders, and a few cute trinkets for the kids so Mako didn't have to worry about those things.

"Did you learn Japanese from drifting with Mako, Ranger Becket?" the grandmother asked.

"Not entirely. My family made extended stays in Japan when I was young, for my – my father's work," Raleigh stumbled, trying to avoid any mention of his own father. "My brother, sister, and I attended local schools." He didn't mention his time here working on the Wall. "Drifting with Mako has made me more fluent."

"The Space Center is hoping you will visit," said Mako's cousin, Haku, the man who'd inherited her father's work as a swordsmith – and, it seemed, his house. "They believe drift technology could change space exploration and navigation."

Just as long as they don't want Rangers as test subjects, Mako thought at Raleigh with a weak managed not to shudder.

"All of our extended family are coming for dinner this evening," Mako's grandmother went on. "You must join us."

Raleigh felt Mako's mental sigh, but her voice was bright. "We would be delighted, but we don't wish for you to go to such trouble."

"Of course, it's no trouble! Having you here is so important. We must earn your forgiveness," Mako's grandmother insisted. Mako's great aunt sat with her shoulders hunched, as well she might if she remembered what she'd said to her eleven-year old grand niece before abandoning her in Tokyo.

Mako tugged both their minds off thoughts like that and answered, "If you're sure, then we're honored to join you." Still, however sweet and gracious her voice, her reluctance came through the ghost drift loud and clear.

On the other hand, the rush of getting ready for dinner at the nicest restaurant in the area at least served as a distraction. There was no time to do more than glance around the house where Mako was born and lived to age eleven before digging out their dress uniforms and a suit Mako had insisted on buying Jake in Hong Kong before they left.

Mako's hands were shaking as she tried to help organize the gifts. Raleigh jerked his head at Jake and tugged Mako into the bathroom under the pretense of her helping him with his tie. Instead, he just rubbed her hands. It's okay. It'll be okay. She shut her eyes and leaned against him. He could feel the tightness in her throat through the drift. Her facade was already starting to crack, and they still had two full days to get through... "Hey, hey," he whispered aloud. "Breathe."

She wanted him to hug her until both of them had bruised ribs, but it would rumple their uniforms. We'll make it, love. We'll make it, he vowed silently.

Dinner was both easier and harder than Mako feared. It was a tremendous relief to be introduced to all the cousins and second-cousins who had been her age or younger - or not even born yet - at the time of Onibaba. Jake found himself at the center of a small army of teenagers, all of whom seemed to develop crushes on him in record time (including Akiara, the only boy other than Haku).

Mako's memories of her extended family weren't all bad. Her cousin Emica, Haku's twin sister, had sent her actual handwritten letters first at the orphanage, then care of Sensei at whatever Shatterdome he was posted, assuming correctly that Mako knew why her father's family had cast her 's eyes brimmed as she met Mako's gaze the first time, and Mako could barely speak for a few sensed it and politely redirected conversation for a few seconds, asking who was related to Mako and how.

More shocking was finding Emica had a baby – a boy. Mako looked around for a husband or boyfriend, and Emica blushed furiously and said, "A donor. He's mine and…my partner's."

Mako choked…then couldn't keep the grin off her face. Emica would have said "boyfriend" even if she wasn't married yet, and the family would have invited the boyfriend with an eye to getting them married and passing it off as simply jumping the gun a little. But if Emica's partner wasn't here…"I hope you'll introduce us tomorrow," she said, at last able to talk without afraid her voice would break. Emica beamed. Great Aunt Genya and Grandmother looked like they'd swallowed wasps, and Emica's parents looked like they wanted to crawl under the table.

The younger generation promptly mortified their elders yet again when Mako asked, "Is Cousin Shion still living in Tanegashima?"

More strangled noises, and Haku grinned almost as broadly as his sister. "Yes, but she couldn't be here tonight. Their twin boys have been sick. Aito is a propulsion specialist at the Space Center."

So, it seemed the Mori family curse of few sons was broken not only by Emica and the woman she loved, but also by Shion – who was still estranged from the family by her rage on Mako's behalf. Shion was ten years older than Mako, but she'd written on occasion after getting married and safely out of her parents' home.

The elder generations of the Mori family became strangely reticent for the rest of dinner, and Mako was somewhat ashamed by how relieved she was that it left her to catch up with cousins once-removed and second cousins without much interruption. Little Rei who'd been eight when Mako last saw her, was now finishing high school and preparing to go to university to study metallurgy – thanks in no small part to Haku's stubborn insistence on teaching her the art of swordmaking over the previous generation's objections.

Mako's uncle Chiharu, the only Mori who might have really been able to take control of the craft, had died six years ago, leaving Haku the only one with any knowledge of the family's traditions and skills, and Mako found she was glad of that.

Little Kaede was now sixteen and an astonishing beauty, but she proudly told Mako she was winning martial arts championships on a regular basis. (However, for all the parents and grandparents joked that she'd become such a tomboy, she was very flirtatious with Jake, to the point that Mako and her parents shot both of them warning looks.)

"How do Americans say?" Emica asked Raleigh slyly, and pointed two fingers at her eyes, then towards the teens.

Raleigh laughed."Yeah, but which one should we give it to?"

"All of them," Mako replied, and switched to Japanese. "You watch yours, we'll watch mine."

It was funny seeing how everyone reacted to Raleigh and Jake, especially the surprise on their faces to see Raleigh's confident skill at eating with chopsticks and Jake's fluent Japanese and gracious manners. Mako was proud of them both.

Yet sometimes she inadvertently met the eyes of her grandmother, her great aunt, or her aunts and uncles, and the past slammed into her guts, turning the excellent meal into ashes in her mouth. "Nobody will come for you. Nobody."

More than once Mako found herself the one being slightly bad-mannered by staring fixedly at Great Aunt Genya, unable to stop wondering if she could remember those words so clearly, and if so, whether she really regretted them or if she was simply trying to save face in light of Mako's accomplishments.

Raleigh discreetly brushed his hand against hers, tugging her back to the present, and she distracted herself by asking for a refresher of whose all the assorted little ones in the newest generation were. Some of the other elder cousins who simply hadn't known Mako that well were now married with children, ranging from infants to early grade school. Mako then had to endure pictures being taken with assorted children in her lap or babies in her arms, but at least it passed the time.

By the end of the meal, Mako supposed there would be pictures all over the Internet giving the impression of nothing more than a happy family reunion in which all was forgiven and forgotten. Well, that would save face all around, and maybe it would make Mako's parents happy.

Maybe.

Still, she felt as exhausted as if she'd just gone three rounds in the simulator after a double-shift in the repair bays, and judging by the murmurs of Haku and Emica that they should let their honored guest get some rest after her trip, at least a few of her cousins could tell. She kept a bright, cheerful smile on her face for the farewells for the evening and handed out the little gifts for the children, getting squeals of delight.

One rather brash six-year-old daughter of a second cousin looked from Mako to Raleigh and back before demanding, "Are you in love?"

Her parents were mortified – hell, Mako was mortified – but even as half the family stammered scolding words, Jake couldn't keep from laughing, and soon Emica and Haku broke too, and Mako was beet red. A few sidelong glances confirmed, so was Raleigh. At least it broke the ice a little further, even if they both blushed scarlet all over again when Kaede squealed that she'd caught the whole thing on her phone. So Mako and Raleigh just gave up and laughed too. It was pretty funny.

But silence crashed down in the car as Haku and his wife Tamami drove them back to Mako's parents' house. Now they didn't have the rush of preparations to distract them, and Mako felt like she was in a strange dream seeing her childhood home in the moonlight next to the workshop.

Mako's hands were shaking again as she handed Haku and Tamami the gifts to thank them for hosting her and murmured her gratitude. But to her surprise, Haku was almost as nervous as she was.

"You will always be welcome. Mako…this is your home. You have more right to be here than me." He gulped and waited until she met his eyes. "I'm so sorry for how we treated you. We should have done more."

Raleigh and Jake had discreetly stepped away with Tamami, pretending they weren't all listening. "You were children too," Mako told him. "I never blamed you or Emica or Shion. You had no power to make your parents or our grandparents take me in, but Emica told me you all never stopped speaking for me. Even the littler ones, Rei and Kaede did. I didn't want you to be punished, but I will always be so grateful. If you hadn't…I don't know if I could have come back at all."

Haku sighed. "Grandmother is truly sorry. When we saw your name as the pilot of Gipsy Danger who saved Hong Kong, she cried and cried and begged Uncle Masao and Aunt Sumako to forgive her at the family shrine. When we learned of the battle at the Breach and no one knew if any of the pilots had survived, she collapsed. We all were afraid…" Mako winced, and he cringed. "I don't say that to make you feel guilty. Only that I think she does finally see how badly we wronged you."

Unable to quite keep the acid out of her voice, Mako asked, "And Great Aunt Genya? What does she say?"

"She…she didn't agree with Grandmother about any of this. She thought it would make us all lose face. At last, my parents came around too and said we deserved to lose face for what we'd done, and so did most of the others. Great Aunt Genya had to give in to Grandmother and the majority, so she went along." Haku eyed Mako. "I know she went to Tokyo after…after. But Emica and I never knew what happened."

Nobody will come for you. Nobody.

Mako blinked rapidly, trying to keep herself out of the rabbit. Nobody had told her that rabbits would start to pull her out of reality even when she wasn't in the drift! Why hadn't anyone told – Raleigh was just behind her, not touching her like he would in the Shatterdome, but his proximity still helped. Mako still wavered on what to say. She doubted Great Aunt Genya would have ever admitted to exactly what she said in Tokyo to anyone other than Grandmother and maybe a few of Mako's father's generation. Haku and Emica probably didn't know.

Would it be right to tell now, to drive yet another wedge into all that was left of Masao's family when so many of them were in turmoil? Emica, who undoubtedly had her own battles to fight in defense of the woman she loved and her beautiful son, was it right to give her another reason to resent her elders? Would Mako simply be telling out of malice?

In the end, she avoided Haku's eyes and murmured, "I suppose it's of no use to speak of it now. If she has no regrets, nothing any of us say will change her mind."

Tamami said delicately in English, "It has been a long day for you. We should get your room ready so you can go to sleep. Tomorrow, we will drive you anywhere you would like to see."

Mako gratefully fell back into more mundane matters. "I don't want to inconvenience you. We can take a bus. I think I still remember the routes," she added, smiling weakly at Haku.

He smiled more easily and said, "Tamami has tomorrow off from work, and I won't work either. We'll enjoy it very much. Shion is hoping you will visit her and Aito before you leave."

"I would love to."

They prepared the guest room – the very room that had once been Mako's and seemed so spacious when she was it was a little tight with three futons prepared, and Mako wondered if Tamami or Haku were at all embarrassed by having Mako share with two men, neither of whom were related to her by blood. But it was that or have them spill out into the living area, which would be a nuisance in the mornings, and neither Mako nor Jake nor Raleigh wanted that.

At last, they were alone in the dim light, made bluish like a drift space, and it pulled at her, spinning her around like a whirlpool, trying to drown her… Raleigh quietly slipped from his bed and over to hers, gathering her in his arms and pressing his lips into her hair. Mako clung to him with one hand and pressed the other over her mouth to avoid making any noise. But silent sobs began shaking her whole body and tears were falling and there was nothing she could do, right there in front of Jake. She heard him leaving his bed too, felt Raleigh nod to him, then her brother's hand rested cautiously on her shoulder.

It hurt, it hurt, it hurt, she didn't know how to make it stop…Raleigh wrapped himself around her from behind, his voice silent, but in the ghost drift, he pulled up a soothing J-pop song she liked to play when she was upset. She could hear him in the drift, gently singing along with it.

I want to go home…but where's home? This was home. The memories were distorted by time and trauma, dreamlike now. The posters she'd had one her walls, the toys on the shelves, a little dull-bladed sword Daddy had taught her to forge when she was eight, over the mock-protests of Mama. The little jewelry box Mama's grandmother had made for Mako, carved so delicately with kittens and butterflies and painted with her favorite colors…most of the jewelry in it had been little costume bits from her friends and family over the years, but there'd been a few nice pieces. Chief among them, a pretty little clip made of silver and real garnets and pearls that had been Mama's when she was little. Pearls were Mama's birthstone, but she'd loved garnets, so Mako's grandparents had bought the clip for her as an extravagant present when she was seven. Mama had worn it at special occasions and given it to Mako when she was seven.

"I think our ancestors must have known I would have a little girl one day born in January." Mako had loved it and learn to polish and care for the metal in jewelry as well as swords.

That clip hadn't been among the things Sensei salvaged for Mako after adopting her. She hadn't thought about it for years – until one day at school, choosing a dress for her first dance at age first one she'd liked was dark red, and she'd been almost ready to buy it when her best friend Liling had insisted on looking at accessories first. "Do you like garnets?" the nice lady at the shop had asked. "What about some pewter and garnet combs for your hair?"

They had been very pretty and hadn't really even looked much like the one Mako had left behind in Tanegashima – but one of them had little pearls in it too. Mako had frozen…and started to cry. Liling and the other girls from school had rushed her back to campus, and it had been days before she could explain why she couldn't stand the thought of wearing something like that in her hair.

In the end, she'd picked royal blue and a sparkly gold headband and earrings.

Blue…Why had she taken it out of her hair? How weak and pathetic to crawl back here looking for the approval of such cruel people.

Raleigh's grip tightened on her. "Not true," he whispered in her shivered and huddled against him.

"Should we leave early?" Jake whispered.

Mako winced and shook her head. That would be a slap in the face, and if Mako was feeling distinctly unfilial towards her elder relatives at this moment, Haku and Tamami didn't deserve that, nor did Emica and Shion or the little ones. She still wanted to get to know them and be able to email them all without having to resort to subterfuge like she and Emica had had to do.

Still, despite tossing and turning, sleeping was simply impossible. Mako cursed herself for it, because in this condition, no way would Raleigh be able to sleep. She eventually managed to shoo him and Jake back to their own beds, but occasionally she and Raleigh exchanged weary, knowing smiles in the darkness.

Raleigh had had his share of nights like this, and thanks to the drift, Mako knew how it worked. There would be some very tired moments during the day, but as long as they kept busy, they could hold it back. Then there'd be just one more night here to get through. At worst, they'd be in Tokyo Shatterdome forty-eight hours from now, back to semi-familiar ground among people who understood, and they'd be able to sleep easy again.

Or as easy as Mako Mori and Raleigh Becket ever could sleep.

She huddled in her bed trying and failing to sleep, soothed only when Raleigh crawled out of his bed and settled beside her to stroke her hair or hold her. At least she could tell Jake had managed to sleep.

In the morning, Mako employed the only makeup she used on a regular basis to hide the shadows under her eyes. Before Pitfall, she'd used it to hide the exhaustion of double shifts and the signs of tears each time another Jaeger fell. After Pitfall, she used it to conceal the marks of nightmares.

She and Raleigh and Jake smiled and lied to Haku and Tamami that they'd all slept very well. "For some reason, I remember that room as being much bigger," she joked, and their hosts grinned.

It was strange and eerie again, seeing the workshop. Haku was very nervous as he told her about all her father's techniques that he still preserved and followed, and he almost cut himself once. They both had to laugh weakly. Then he showed her the first sword he'd made on his own, now displayed beside the ones her father and grandfather and great-grandfathers had forged. The koshirae contained not only the Fujimoto family crest, but also the Mori, and on the kashira was a kestrel, and simply the word, Daughter.

Mako was speechless. "Kaede and Emica designed it. They thought it would suit you. Your father's forge will always have a part of you," said Haku. In with the other weapons displayed, there was the hanbō her father had given her when she was seven. "I hope you'll take it with you. It belongs to you. Rei and Kaede and I have kept it for you."

Raleigh and Jake stayed at a discreet remove throughout the "tour" and for Mako's visit to her family's grave. Though especially at the grave, she could feel Raleigh fighting the urge to go closer to her as she fought the turmoil inside. Here were her parents' ashes. She hadn't been able to take part in any of the funeral rites or honor them properly until now. Was that wrong? Should she have asked Sensei to take her here earlier to pay proper homage to her family?

Was it enough that she'd forged a Jaeger's sword and taken revenge on the kaiju?

She shook a little as she washed the grave and placed fresh flowers and incense, and carefully removed the grass and weeds. Not there was much encroaching weeds or rubbish blown in the wind. Obviously the family grave was well maintained. Folding her hands, she murmured the traditional prayers, and added, I hope you would be proud and approve of what I've done in your honor. If I've failed to properly honor you, please forgive me. I love you so much. She bowed, then gathered the things she'd brought and just before she turned away, the sun came out from behind a cloud, bathing the grave in light.

The wet stones sparkled, reminding her of her mother's hair clip, and the flowers seemed to glow. Mako smiled.

The visit got easier after that. Emica and her wife, Masumi, invited them to have dinner, which Mako was unreservedly happy to accept. "We may have been foolish to have a child at such a terrible time, but I thought we should have something to hope for," Emica explained. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you I got married. We decided to have Kamin just after the terrible battle on May Day, and I…wasn't sure…"

Mako could guess all too easily how appalled the family must have been, even if Japan had recognized same-sex marriage in 2022. Many families outside the urban areas were still very resistant to such radical changes. And Emica was right: everyone in the Jaeger Program had been very distracted at the time. Mako hadn't sent many more emails to Emica after the May Day disaster, and Emica hadn't responded quickly. Well, now Mako knew why.

"I'm very happy for you both." She cooed at the baby now bouncing in Haku's lap. "Tell me about Shion? I take it the family hasn't forgiven her – or has she not forgiven them?"

"Both," Emica said grimly. "Uncle Genkei said horrible things about Aunt Sumako after…Shion was so angry. Even then, Grandmother said he was dishonoring the family by showing such disrespect to the dead. Shion never forgave him, and she told Aito why when they were dating, even before they got married. Aito 's family was horrified to find out what our family had done to you, and Uncle Genkei and Grandmother lost so much face. They deserved it."

Jake might not have the ghost drift, but he could tell Mako was far more at ease with her cousins than with the relatives from her parents and grandparents' generation. They had dinner with Mako's cousin Shion, who was ten years older, and were introduced to her husband Aito and two little boys. Twins, pretty impressive. They were four, scampering around at the adults' feet asking Raleigh and Mako questions about being Rangers and showing off their Jaeger action figures.

One of them had a bunch of the Ranger figures too, including Yancy Becket and Jake's dad, from back when Dad had been pilot of Coyote Tango. He tried to give Yancy to Raleigh and Pentecost to Mako, and both of them got choked up and couldn't speak, and Shion gently assured the boys that it wasn't necessary and sent them to put the figures away. Jake had to lead the conversation for awhile so Raleigh and Mako could focus on keeping their composure.

Eventually, it passed and Aito peppered Raleigh and Mako with questions about drift tech, building on the conversations they'd had at the Space Center earlier that day. The Space Center was really cool, full of fascinated kids who actually got distracted by things other than the two Rangers in their midst. They'd all been more at ease there than anywhere else on the trip so far. It made Jake wish his Dad could have seen it. He'd have loved it. I bet Aunt Tamsin, Aunt Luna, and my mum would've loved it too. He sighed inwardly.

That night, despite being calmer than the night before, Jake could tell that Mako and Raleigh couldn't sleep again. They saw him looking at them, and Mako whispered, "You don't have to stay awake with us. One of us should get some rest."

The next day, they toured the beaches, and Jake had glimpses of the kid Mako had been before Onibaba tore her world apart. The younger kids for once gave up scampering at Mako and Raleigh's feet in favor of donning swimsuits and racing into the water, some grabbing surfboards. Jake was startled by how many kids surfed, both boys and girls. "Did you ever surf?" he asked in surprise. Mako hadn't liked swimming in the ocean as far as he could remember.

"Oh yes, Mako was very good. Her mother was a great surfer," said Shion, laughing.

Mako's smile was a little sheepish. So, Aunt Tamsin and Dad had fibbed when they said she didn't know how to surf back in Lima. Or maybe they hadn't known. Well, he'd been too young to understand how she felt about the ocean.

Neither she nor Raleigh went into the water, so Jake stayed with them and the adults, calling encouragement and caution to the younger kids as they swam and played. "It's because of you our children are able to swim and surf as we once did," Shion's husband told Mako and Raleigh emotionally.

The beaches were really beautiful. The sand was soft and white, with beautiful hills and rock formations rising above them. They walked to some of the tide caves that weren't swamped, and Mako and Emica showed Jake and Raleigh one of the caves where they used to hide and tell scary monster stories when they were kids.

Some of the adults yelled at a group of boys acting out a kaiju rising from the ocean with a blow-up costume, but Mako and Raleigh laughed and said it was okay. Jake had a feeling they were hiding any discomfort they really felt. Still , it was a nice afternoon. Haku and Tamami brought them to a small beachside restaurant that had stubbornly stayed in business after the first kaiju attacks, and they had lunch in the outdoor seating area.

The owner was beside himself at having the great Mako Mori, Tanegashima's pride and joy, as a guest and was so effusive everyone kept giggling hysterically because Mako seemed perpetually red. Jake took her picture, getting a mock-ferocious glare and growl of, "Traitor," which set everybody off again.

Still, the food was great, the weather was nice despite it being November – unseasonally warm, actually – and everyone had a good time. The kids eventually got hungry and came up to join them, but the parents all claimed there was no food left. Then the owner got into it and informed the kids solemnly that there was no food left in the restaurant, and finally someone cracked and started laughing. The kids did get fed.

Jake thought Mako might actually not be feigning her reluctance when it came time to think about catching the ferry to Kagoshima. She hadn't wanted to fly off the island even if it was faster. She hadn't explained why, but Jake would bet every penny he had that she and her parents had flown from Tanegashima to Tokyo on that terrible day. During the flight in, she'd alternated between staring out the windows in fascination and leaning away from them, clinging to Raleigh.

So they'd take the ferry to Kagoshima first, then fly to Tokyo.

It was awkward to say her formal farewells to Grandmother, Great Aunt Genya, and everyone from Mako's father's generation. "Thank you for such wonderful hospitality and going to so much trouble."

"It was our honor," Grandmother really did look sad. "We did a terrible thing to you and dishonored the memory of your parents. Our grandchildren and great-grandchildren will all know that you are the savior of the entire world despite our shameful treatment of you. We will honor Marshal Pentecost's sacrifice and hope to earn your forgiveness some day."

She really meant it. Haku and Emica had said as much, but Mako hadn't been sure whether to believe did now.

…it's still not enough.

Was she terribly spiteful to feel that way? She just murmured something noncommittal but reassuring. After all, Grandmother was very old and in increasingly poor health. The likelihood of seeing her again was slim.

Great Aunt Genya, on the other hand, muttered noncommittal agreements to her older sister's sentiments and sulked. Mako was coolly courteous to her in saying goodbye and felt far less guilty about hoping she would never see Genya again.

Saying goodbye to Haku and Tamami, to Emica and Masumi, and Kaede, Rei, and Akiara was genuinely hard. Mako did accept her old hanbō and promised Kaede a spar during the next visit. She realized there would be a next visit even as she said it. It might be some time later, but she did want to have it. Maybe on that visit she could get away with avoiding all the previous generations by keeping it just a visit to Haku and Emica, casting it as not wanting the family to go to all the trouble of arranging another huge gathering and standing ceremony, disrupting everybody's routine.

She hoped Haku would understand if she stayed in a hotel next time. Or maybe she'd accept Emica and Masumi's invitation instead, to keep things equal.

"You'll always be welcome with any of us," Emica promised."All of you. We're very glad you came, especially knowing how hard it was."

Yes, Emica had never really said in her letters or emails, but Mako had no doubt Emica and Haku understood what she had felt, both in those first years after being adopted by Sensei and now, returning to the family an international hero, hailed as savior of the world, who forged a sword for a Jaeger in her father's honor and slew no less than three kaiju with it and closed the Breach.

I have nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing.

Believe it, Raleigh answered in the ghost drift. They smiled at each other.

A small army of schoolchildren gathered at the ferry pier, and the three of them had to run a gauntlet of selfies and autographs and shouted questions all the way to the boat. Mako 's cousins laughed and stayed to watch the tableu, and Mako felt rather giddy, posing for pictures and laughing at the kids' antics. Jake and Raleigh hammed it up too, and for the first time, Mako mused that maybe being a celebrity wasn't so bad.

When they were finally on the ferry, the weight of the last three days came crashing down. Mako wanted to look out the windows as they embarked, but could barely keep her eyes open. Raleigh abandoned the polite reserve of the last three days and wrapped an arm around her. She fell asleep on his shoulder.

While Raleigh hadn't gotten any more sleep than Mako, he was at least more experienced at being conscious for almost seventy-two hours. Mako felt far worse when she woke up as they came in to Kagoshima, and Raleigh murmured, "Hang on. We'll get to the plane, then you can go back to sleep."

Mako wanted to cry at the thought of sitting in an airport lounge for over an hour. "Maybe they've got those little sleeping rooms," Jake suggested.

"They're not that big; they're for commuters," Mako mumbled. Raleigh kept an arm around her during the transfer to the airport, and she fought to stay awake. I don't want to see them again. Only my cousins, not them. I can't – I can't just –

"I know, I know," Raleigh murmured in her ear aloud. "You don't have to." They were right about one thing: it was indefensible. Great Aunt Genya's words thundered louder than ever in the ghost drift. Even if you'd been a complete nobody for the rest of your life, it'd still be indefensible. Mako wanted to claw at her scalp to make Great Aunt Genya go away. "Shh. It'll pass. It will."

Jake tried bringing her some food, but the smell made her nauseated, and she could barely drink water. She nodded off more than once on Raleigh's shoulder, feeling worse every time she woke up.

I hate her. Raleigh, I hate her.

She deserves it. They all do. Maybe they regret it now, but they can't undo what they did to you by gushing all over the place. They can't take it back. You don't have to let them.

"I miss Sensei," she mumbled. "So much."

Maybe that really was the material difference. When she'd had nothing and been nothing, Sensei had chosen her. Emica and Haku and Shion, even Kaede and Rei, as young as they'd been, they'd chosen to stand by her and braved the displeasure of their families. Tamsin and even Jake in his own way had chosen her, to be her family.

Raleigh had chosen her. Everyone in the Jaeger Program had chosen her, pilots and crews, even the ones who'd wondered about her relationship with Marshal Pentecost had still worked with her and came to recognize her skills and her devotion. They'd all grieved together for every Jaeger who fell, for every strike trooper who lost their life trying to save others.

Mako had forged Gipsy Danger's sword for the ones who had chosen her, not the ones who'd abandoned her.

For my family…

My family…

To Be Continued...

Coming Soon: Our exhausted hero and heroine arrive at Tokyo Shatterdome to recover from their emotional trip, and face new emotional struggles with the reminders of all they and the Jaeger Program lost as they depart again for Anchorage in Chapter Eighteen: When I See You Again!

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Original Character Guide

Emica Fujimoto - Daughter of Mako's father's cousin, three years older than Mako. The two girls' casual friendship becomes deeper when Emica is sickened by their family's complete rejection of Mako in the wake of Onibaba's attack that left her orphaned. Before Mako's parents died, Mako's mother taught both her daughter and some of the younger cousins to surf, and Emica continued learning secretly in her surrogate aunt's honor.

Haku Fujimoto - Son of Mako's father's cousin, twin brother of Emica, only boy of Mako's generation in the entire extended family. He was reluctantly tapped by Mako's paternal grandparents to become Masao's apprentice in sword-making, and unlike his parents, Haku was happy to share that apprenticeship with Mako. Like his sister, Haku is horrified by the injustice to Mako, though he's less willing to challenge his family openly on the subject. But he quietly rebelled by teaching his much younger female cousins, Rei and Kaede, about sword-making and fighting, and even trains them with Mako's hanbō in Mako's honor. A design on the hilt of the first sword he forged also paid homage to Mako, as he considered her the true heir to the family craft.

Shion Nakamura nee Ueda - Daughter of a second cousin of the Moris, ten years older than Mako, but fond of her younger cousins and old enough to be even more outraged by her father Genkei's treatment of Mako. Became engaged to Aito Nakamura after high school and married him in her early twenties, and broke her own family's unspoken vow of silence about Mako to her fiance almost immediately - and embarrassed her own family by revealing their shameful treatment of Mako at her wedding reception. Shion struck up an intermittent email correspondence with Mako after marrying, and ultimately couldn't cope with what her family had done and became estranged from them. She remained in illicit contact with Emica and Haku.

Rei Domen - Daughter of a second cousin of Masao Mori, three years younger than Mako, she's a rowdy and curious little girl still young enough to get away with those things - but old enough to sense something very wrong was done to Mako, so she asks about Mako at every opportunity. Her cousins, unlike her parents, aunts, uncles, and grandparents, are willing to tell her and make their feelings clear. She's curious about sword-making and fighting, and as her cousin Haku takes on a greater role in upholding the Mori family tradition of swordsmithing, he secretly teaches Rei about it in Mako's honor.

Kaede Saito - Daughter of another Mori cousin, four years younger than Mako, she's more interested in becoming a martial artist than swordsmith, but Haku teaches her as well.

Akiara Saito - Son of another Mori cousin, brother of Kaede. Jaeger pilot enthusiast - a little too enthusiastic about male pilots for his conservative family's taste. The only other boy born to anyone connected by blood or marriage to the Mori family, Akiara, like his older cousin Haku, is under a lot of pressure.