Author's Notes: Thank you all so much for the amazing feedback! This chapter brings in a few more of my original character Jaeger pilots and Shatterdome commanders. As a refresher, Colonel Sanae Okita was commanding officer of the Nagasaki Shatterdome, but left out of a job when it closed. She's landed a promotion and now in charge of Japan's reborn Jaeger Program after the war.

Headcanon Note: As a refresher, in Chapter Six of Aurora Borealis, Raleigh and Yancy returned home for their mother's funeral only to discover their father was leaving them and their seventeen-year-old sister Jazmine. Yancy reluctantly refused to take over her guardianship, so their neighbor, Diane did, but Jazmine cut all ties with her brothers.

CONTENT WARNING: Explicit sex in this chapter!

Chapter Eighteen: Our Personal Truths

Tokyo…

Thank God for being back among PPDC personnel. On the flight to Tokyo, Raleigh got a message from Herc. The Weis are offering to have a chopper pick you up and take you to the Tokyo Shatterdome.

Mako was sleeping fitfully in his lap, but he knew from experience she'd be even more miserable when she woke up. An hour or two of sleep at a time wasn't enough to make up for almost three days without. As it was, Raleigh was feeling pretty ragged himself. He'd tried and failed to doze a little on the flight once Mako was asleep. He texted Herc back, Tell them thanks, we'll take them up on it. We're all pretty tired.

He didn't quite go so far as to admit neither of them had slept in almost seventy-two hours, but he hoped Herc would get the message and pass it on to Major General Okita at Tokyo Dome. He doubted he or Mako would be able to get through another evening of formal dinners and questions without passing out and/or having meltdowns.

To his relief, she was just too groggy to really ask questions, and went where Raleigh and Jake led her, to the chopper pad rather than the train station, and fell asleep on Raleigh again the minute they were in their seats. "Did you have a good time, sir?" the pilot asked.

"Uh…" Caught off guard and really freaking tired, Raleigh couldn't dissemble at all. "Uh…"

Jake rescued him. "Sure, they're just worn out. They need some sleep."

"Don't worry, General Okita thought as much. You're to go straight to quarters and get some rest. She said no meetings until after lunchtime tomorrow, if even then."

Raleigh could have hugged Major General Okita when she met them at the pad. "No ceremony," she assured them after exchanging bows. "We have quarters for you in the personnel section. Mr. Pentecost, you're also staying there with them, but you'll have your own room."

"Thank you, ma'am," said Jake politely. Yeah, just like every other Shatterdome, Tokyo had plenty of room in the pilots' quarters section.

There was a lot of work going on inside. Obviously they were still very much embroiled in getting the place ready to reopen. General Okita handed Raleigh, Mako, and Jake over to the quartermaster to be escorted to quarters, and that was it.

Jake folded his arms in a very Marshal way upon receiving his room, and admonished, "I better not see either of you two until at least lunchtime tomorrow."

Raleigh chuckled and nodded. Mako was so out of it she didn't even answer. "'Night, kid." He put an arm around Mako and led her into their room.

It was clearly a pilots' shared room with a double bed rather than bunks. Apparently somebody had tipped the Tokyo staff off – Mako tossed her bags aside and shoved Raleigh against the wall with a kiss that knocked the wind out of him.

"Mmf! Mako!" He was so incredibly tired, she was barely coherent, but when he managed to catch his breath, her hungry eyes flashed at him. He vaguely remembered doing weird shit when Day Three of sleep deprivation really hit, but this wasn't… "Mako, Mako, no!"

"Why not?!" she demanded, practically clawing at him. "Raleigh, I need you! I need you now!"

"You can barely remember your own name," he said, trying to be gentle with his kisses. "You need to sleep."

Mako growled at him. "I need you, Raleigh Becket. I need this…now, right now. Please, make me forget so I can sleep?"

Well, shit. Raleigh sighed. Not that she wasn't incredibly hot like this, but the thought of doing anything she couldn't really consent to, or that she'd even regret was intolerable. "Are you sure you're up for this? That this is really what you want?" I'll do anything for you, you know that, but you've been through the wringer in the last three days even without being sleep deprived!

Mouthing at his neck, Mako made herself pull back and looked him in the eyes. Her gaze was strangely clear. "Yes, I'm so very sure." I need to remember who I am. Please, let me have this. "Please, I'm not drunk. I know what I want. I won't regret it. Not at all, not the smallest bit." You can feel it. Feel me in my mind. I know what I want.

As exhausted as they both were…obviously she'd gotten a second wind. Raleigh could hang on long enough to give her what she wanted. He relaxed and relented. "Okay." He kissed her more fully and surrendered to the sensation, feeling his pants already getting tight. "Then tell me what you want. Anything you want." If she wanted this before she could sleep easily, then he wouldn't deny her.

"Here, now, like this." Mako climbed him like a tree, wrapping her legs around his waist to keep herself against him. "I need this."

"Jesus." Raleigh was going to set a record if he didn't get a grip on himself. Tonight wasn't for him at all. Mako hissed a denial, but he shushed her with a kiss, finally getting his balance as he leaned back against the wall and wrapped his arms around her back and waist. This was for her, just for her, all for her. I'm yours. I'll make you forget…

But she panted into his mouth, and again, her eyes were clear, if heavy-lidded with lust as she looked at him, and her voice was strong in the ghost drift. No, not forget. I didn't mean it like that. I need this to remember. I want to remember who I am and where my home really is.

"Your wish is my command," he murmured and reached through the ghost drift to try to envelop her with his mind as well as his body. To know what she wanted…he felt it, and turned, spinning them around so she had her back to the wall and leverage to stay wrapped around his waist while he shucked his shirt in record time. Mako tried to shift to pull her shirt off, but Raleigh caught her hand; the concrete of the wall was rough, so if she wanted it to be like this, she should keep it on.

"I don't care," she hissed and hauled her shirt off.

Okay, but don't blame me if you get road rash. He grinned and pressed her back again so he could attack her neck, and soon had her moaning. He had to let her slide off him long enough to get rid of their pants, then she practically jumped onto him again. She was so beautiful like this, completely out of fucks to give, wild and unrestrained. She laughed as he panted, sliding his fingers between them to stroke her, then she threw her head back and gasped.

Yes, yes, this was good, this was better, this was her home. He grinned and moved his mouth along her jaw and neck. He would've loved to go lower, but couldn't manage it without putting her down, and she did not want him to put her down. His dick was trying to get ahead of him, and he made her laugh again by growling at it. He wasn't coming before her.

But it wasn't easy to keep himself under control, with her breasts pressed against his chest, her eyes glassy and pupils blown huge with lust, her hair falling into both their faces, her mouth open as she panted into his hair or his mouth when he managed to stop working on her jaw and neck, the feel of her thrusting against his fingers, hot and wet – DOWN, Little Becket, you are NOT go for launch!

Mako let out a shriek of laughter and hastily clapped a hand over her mouth – but Raleigh seized on that and pressed harder, and he had her, her laughter giving way to gasping moans as she came. She pulled at him in the ghost drift, telling him she wanted him now while she was still moaning and shuddering, and she was ready, so he shifted her to get the angle right, still pressed against the wall with her legs around his waist, and let her sink down onto him.

God, that was glorious, but this was still about Mako, only Mako, all for her, and he started moving as she wrapped her arms around his neck, lips slamming down on his. "Raleigh, Raleigh, keep – oh! Yes," she gasped, feeling him pressing against her walls, still hypersensitive from her first orgasm. She knew what she wanted, and he would give it to her, fighting for control of his own reactions so he could see and feel her again first.

To his delight (and relief), it didn't take long to bring her there again from inside, and when he felt her break around him, it broke him too, both of them shaking and gasping.

When he stopped seeing stars, she was looking at him, finally calming down, the desperation in her eyes easing to something no less beautiful. It was an ache to withdraw from her, but he wasn't sure he could hold her up much longer. Mako slid down him and started to put her feet on the floor, but no, he didn't want her to, and swept her into his arms to carry her to their bed. She laughed but wrapped her arms around his neck again, nuzzling his hair.

He laid her on the bed, but she pulled him down on top of her. She liked his weight. It made her feel safe. Raleigh was vaguely astonished when she put her hand around him and started stroking. "Seriously? Are you going for a marathon?"

Mako snorted and nipped at his mouth. "You only came once. I want you to come again."

"Dunno if I've got it in me," he admitted, but groaned into her neck.

"We'll see." They were more leisurely about it this time, and he did get hard again, sinking into her at her urging. Incredibly, he could feel her heating up again. "It's – ahhh – okay, this time is for you - "

"Shh. Both of us," he murmured. He thrust slowly, and both of their caresses grew more languid. He just watched her, and if their previous climax had been like an explosion, this was the slow flare of a fire, lasting and heavenly and slow enough for him to keep watching her, taking in her face as she came yet again. She held onto him after until they both stopped shuddering, reluctant to let him go. "Better?" he whispered, combing his fingers through her sweat-damp hair.

She smiled and nodded, then kissed him, long and deep and content, eyes heavy again from tiredness. "I love you," she whispered.

He almost answered, "I know," and she grinned, ready to start tickling him if he dared it. Well, they were both too tired from three days of sleep deprivation topped off by absolutely mind-blowing sex. So he looked at her and told the truth, even though she knew it from the ghost drift. "I love you."

Finally, sleep came easily for both of them.

The next day, Mako and Raleigh were sluggish and groggy, but the Tokyo personnel (and Jake) were polite enough to pretend not to notice as they headed into meetings.

"Nagasaki will reopen as strictly an assembly and repair facility, not a launching Shatterdome," General Okita told them. There was a bitter quirk to her mouth as she pulled up the new budget. "Japan is now beginning work on two new Jaegers, and the current plan is for Tokyo to house five."

Yeah, everyone at the table was probably wondering the same thing as Mako and Raleigh: What a difference five Japanese Jaegers might have made in the last year of the war, to say nothing of Operation Pitfall. Maybe it wouldn't have saved Sensei, but other Rangers might still be alive.

Raleigh and Mako weren't the only former Rangers at the table. Ami and Rena Tanaka of Echo Saber and Pang So-yi and An Yuna of Nova Hyperion had joined them. Both pairs had suffered massive injuries when their Jaegers went down and were still recovering, but So-yi and Yuna might be able to ride again. Ami and Rena probably wouldn't, but they were likely to be back up and walking in a few more months.

"I'm glad you came back," Yuna told Raleigh. "You deserved to be here with your family, whatever happened."

Raleigh's distress slammed into Mako through the ghost drift. He hadn't been prepared for this; he hadn't known Team Nova or Team Saber well before Knifehead, but obviously they too were under the impression that he'd been unjustly discharged. Mako seized his hand under the table.

"It…thanks, but…it wasn't what people thought," he mumbled, staring at the table.

General Okita tried to rescue him. "Ranger Becket, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"It's okay. I do want to. Because…I want people to know the truth." He took a deep breath and made himself look at them. "Marshal Pentecost only dismissed me because I asked him to. I threatened to kill myself otherwise." He almost shrank from their stunned expressions, but managed to keep meeting their gazes.

Ami Tanaka sighed. "I don't blame you. No one should." She cast a stern look around the table at the younger pilots and crew, but they all nodded, though their expressions were desperately sad. "We knew Duc Jessop very well, and saw what it did to Hedy Keres to lose Peter Lepp after Eden Assassin went down. We understand as well as anyone can."

"And we don't wish to understand entirely," Rena Tanaka said weakly.

Mako and Raleigh had to smile weakly themselves. "Yeah, that's not something I'd wish on anyone," Raleigh murmured. "But I want people to know the truth – what I didn't realize was that Marshal Pentecost swore me to silence so people would blame him instead of me. The war's over now. He deserves to have his name cleared. He had a friend tailing me when I was working the Wall and the bunkers, making sure I was safe."

General Okita's eyes were full. "We'll tell our crews, if that's what you want." Raleigh nodded.

The rest of the meeting itself was less emotional. Team Nova and Team Saber were planning to stay on with the Jaeger Program in whatever capacity they could, and it was a credit to them that nearly every person on their crews had come back when Tokyo Shatterdome reopened. However, after the meeting, things got emotional again, because Raleigh wanted to visit the memorials for the teams who hadn't lived to see the end of the war.

Both Mako and Raleigh had wet eyes and tight throats as they laid flowers and incense before the memorials for Team Tidal Dragon, Team Katana Eagle, and both Teams Tacit Ronin and Coyote Tango. Neither of them would have said it, but So-yi worked it out. "Command wanted to do to you what they did to Duc Jessop and Hayase Shindo, didn't they? That's why you threatened…" Raleigh nodded. She scowled. "I hope they all go to prison. It should never have come to that."

Even though Sensei and Tamsin weren't physically here, Mako knelt and touched their names on the memorial anyway. She felt Raleigh fighting tears as he did the same for Vic and Gunnar Tunari. "We miss them too," murmured Rena.

Mako managed to say past the lump in her throat, "They danced for me once. It was less than six months after my parents were killed. I found them in the mess hall at the Academy, and they danced for me. It was the first time I had laughed in months."

So-yi smiled weakly. "You must have been very little."

"Yes, I was eleven. They were the first pilots I met other than Marshal Pentecost and Tamsin Sevier." Sensei and Tamsin. "I didn't realize they were Coyote Tango's new pilots until long after." She felt Raleigh stifle a sob and stood up to wrap an arm around his waist.

At least their fellow pilots understood completely. Yuna was wiping her eyes furiously, but her tears kept coming. "We loved them. Everyone did. They taught us all so much."

"Same here," Raleigh whispered. Something tugged at his thoughts in the ghost drift, and Mako looked at him curiously. "Do you…does anyone know what happened to Dr. Lightcap?"

So-yi sighed. "She's alive. But when Romeo Blue fell…it broke her. She lives in Canada now, at Marshal Gagnon's ski lodge. He died in 2021, but he and his wife left it for the Rangers, so they would have a safe place to go. None of us tell anyone who aren't Rangers," she said, and Mako and Raleigh nodded. "We want to go and see her when we've healed enough to travel, the four of us." She tilted her head at Raleigh and Mako. "You should come too. It might ease her feelings, to see you again. I think…what happened to you and your brother," she grimaced apologetically at him, but although Raleigh tightened his grip on Mako, he didn't break eye contact with So-yi. "It was very hard for her too. No one knew that…that could happen."

Raleigh couldn't answer, but Mako sensed what he was thinking in the ghost drift, so she spoke for him. "We will go to her with you. Maybe we should ask the pilots still in Hong Kong if they would like to go. She should know she isn't to blame for anything that…went wrong. Those hearings have begun to show who's to blame," she added grimly.

Hong Kong Shatterdome…

When they returned to Hong Kong, Raleigh and Mako weren't at all surprised that every pilot and former pilot was entirely on board with going to Whistler to see Dr. Lightcap. "We must be careful," Sasha Kaidanovsky told them. "She has been very unwell since Bruce and Trevin were killed. I doubt she has improved much even after Operation Pitfall. I will contact Sergio and decide on the best plan. It cannot be right away; many pilots are still not well enough to travel."

If it weren't for drifting with Mako, I don't know if I could remember who's left, Raleigh thought. Mako elbowed him. No, thinking that way wouldn't do any good.

"I will call Hedy," rumbled Aleksis. "We know she will want to come, but she is still healing from her injuries, and she has Sophia now."

"Sophia?" Raleigh asked.

"Pete's daughter," said Herc sadly. "She's fifteen. Hedy's the only mother the kid ever knew, but there was some resistance to confirming her as custodial parent after Eden Assassin was destroyed and Pete died. I think the Russian bigwigs had the idea of turning Hedy into the next Hayase Shindo." Mako and Sasha growled in unison. It would've been funny if it weren't so damn serious.

"I hope the Russian bigwigs got disappointed," said Raleigh.

"Oh, yes," said Sasha, scowling. "We would not allow it." She returned to the subject of Dr. Lightcap. "Many crew will want to pay their respects, but only Rangers should go. She will be easily overwhelmed."

"Yeah, I can understand that. Though…" He fell into a rabbit and out of the present.

Some of our crew are here from the old Team Gipsy, but not all of them. Especially the ones who left after Yancy…I want…I need...

Mako put a hand on his arm. "What is it?" she asked softly.

"There's…something else I want to do," he murmured. "I need to go…" Back. Back to them. And not just to the team, I need to go…all the way back.

Where was she now? What had happened to her?

Mako sucked in her breath as she understood what he was thinking.

He was in a sort of daze after the Ranger meeting, and Mako just let him go where he wanted. His feet took him to find Tendo. "What's up, Becket boy?" Tendo asked in concern, seeing the look in Raleigh's eyes.

"I'm gonna go back," Raleigh murmured. "Back home. I need to see the others. And…my sister. I need to find her."

Tendo smiled and pulled Raleigh into a hug. "Hey, take it easy, kiddo. They'll all be glad to see you. Beyond glad. You should know that."

"I…yeah, I do, but…well, they might be, but…how much do you know about what happened when my mom died?"

Tendo sighed. "Enough. Dunno if you saw it in the drift, but Yance cried on my shoulder once when he was drunk."

A laugh burst out of Raleigh, but he had to wipe his eyes in a hurry. "Nah, I never saw that. He must've been really drunk."

"Well, you'd passed out by that point – it was on the victory tour after Grindylow, after that liquor store opened up for us in Ecuador and we decided to 'make it worth their while'." Tendo grinned sadly as Raleigh groaned. "Yeah, I think you both blacked out the ghost drift. But yeah, he told me about what happened with Jazmine. Maybe now, after everything that's happened, she'll understand a little better."

"I was shitty to her, Tendo."

"Well…maybe she'll be ready to forgive you."

Raleigh closed his eyes and couldn't help feeling Mako's cringe in the ghost drift. Why should she? You weren't ready to forgive you family who abandoned you.

You were a boy, love. You were both boys. It's not even close to the same thing. She wrapped her arms around him from behind.

"You'll go with him, right, Mako?"

Mako poked her head out from behind Raleigh in outraged disbelief at the suggestion of any possibility of her not doing so. "How dare you?!"

They all had to laugh as Tendo backed up hastily, raising his hands. "Just checking, just checking!" Mako mock-grumbled that she'd let him live this time. Tendo considered him and figured out what Raleigh was trying…and doing a very bad job of asking. "You want me to go with you too, kiddo?" Raleigh nodded.

Mako spoke for him again. "Not so much to see Jazmine, but to see your old crew. And…Raleigh's never been back to the Anchorage Shatterdome."

Tendo's eyes filled. "You know they're gonna reopen it?" Raleigh nodded. "Of course, I'll come. Hell, we'd all come, if you want. Just say the word."

That was a little intimidating…but maybe it was still the right thing to do. "You know where everybody is?"

"Yep. Every one of them. And…you know, kiddo, there's more than one memorial there. There was the official one on the Shatterdome grounds, but…there's another. The crew of the Saltchuck made it. I've seen it. It's really beautiful."

Raleigh had never known that fishing boat's name until he'd seen it in the ghost drift with Mako. He nodded mutely.

"I'll put the word out. Everyone can come meet us in Anchorage."

Raleigh stiffened and shook his head. No, that was too much. Seeing Jazmine again – assuming she was willing to see him – would be hard and intimidating enough. Seeing Yancy's memorials for the first time…that'd be brutal.

"No…don't tell them to come to me. I'll come to them. All of them."

To Be Continued...

Coming Soon: Raleigh Becket returns to Anchorage with Mako and Tendo to face his sister Jazmine nearly ten years after he and Yancy left her and see how his hometown honored Yancy in Chapter Nineteen: When I See You Again!

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Original Character Guide

Major General Sanae Okita: Second-youngest Shatterdome commander after Stacker Pentecost, early 40s, former Colonel in the Japanese Air Force, commanded several elite wings before taking command of Nagasaki Shatterdome.

Ami and Rena Tanaka: Pilots of Echo Saber, Japanese Mark-4 Jaeger. Sisters, mid-30s, Ami, a robotics engineer, is 4 years older than Rena, formerly a professional gymnast. It took them three tries to pass the Jaeger Academy's first cut because Ami kept failing at the physical standards and Rena struggled with the technical material, but they persevered. Both were severely injured when Bagiennik destroyed Echo Saber on July 16, 2025, but they managed to kill the kaiju with the help of Eden Assassin.

Peter Lepp and Hedy Keres: Pilots of Eden Assassin, Russian Mark-2 Jaeger. Estonian Air Force pilots in their early 30s who fell in love while attending the Jaeger Academy and married in 2018. Spent a lot of their time fighting to protect themselves and Peter's young daughter, Sophia, from the media and unscrupulous Russian profiteers. Eden Assassin was also destroyed by Bagiennik, and Peter died of his injuries a week later. With the support of the Kaidanovskys and their commander, Hedy was able to win custody of her stepdaughter and took her back to Estonia.

Marshal Vincent Gagnon: Former Commander of the Anchorage Shatterdome who traded off with Stacker Pentecost several times. Lost his two sons in the pre-Jaeger Program fights against kaiju attacks, and one of the earliest Western supporters of the Jaeger Program. Devoted to the pilots and crews' welfare, he helped orchestrate the Anchorage conspiracy to spirit Duc Jessop out of the public eye to his family's ski ledge in Whistler. After Yancy's death, he proposed the same for Raleigh, who turned it down. Suffered two heart attacks while commanding Anchorage Shatterdome and retired to Whistler, passing away in 2022. His wife maintained the ski lodge for any other retired or recovering pilot who needed a safe place off the PPDC brass's radar.