THE NIGHT OF BIGFOOT

By Andamogirl

WWW

ACT ONE

Later

After dinner

Ulysses S. Grant closed the door of the Wanderer and shivered, pushing his hands deeper into the pockets of his black jacket. "It's freezing out here! Brrr!" We are snowed in, I'm afraid There's snow and ice up to the rear platform. I've never seen so much snow in Washington in my whole life. Moira my dear, you and I won't be able to go anywhere for the next while, so I guess we'll be staying here until the storm is over," he said.

Pouring coffee into a mug, Artie said, "Don't worry Sir. The stateroom is always ready for you and you left night clothes here along with toiletries the last time you spent a few days with us."

Moira looked at Artemus. "And I'm sure Artemus has nice comfy pajamas for me and a spare toothbrush and toothpaste."

The President joined his agents and Moira sitting around the table covered with a pot of coffee, four mugs, four spoons, a box of cigars, one of cigarillos and one of matches, four glasses and a bottle of brandy.

Sitting back on the chair he had vacated 30 seconds earlier, Grant said, "I told Julia this situation could happen, so she's not going to worry, and I'm safe here with you."

Placing one of Jim's cigarillo between her teeth, Moira said, "Then I'm stuck here too because I can't go home either." Then she struck a match and lighted up her small cigar. Then she poured brandy in her coffee and mixed the two liquids with a spoon.

Noticing that Jim was a bit surprised to see her – act like a man would - she added, "I am the least girly girl on Earth! I have an older brother, so I was kind of like a tomboy, always following him around. I smoke cigars, drink liquor, dress in masculine clothes and I can shoot any kind of guns and rifles."

Artie asked, "How's your brother?"

She took a sip of brandy-laced coffee and replied, "Oh he's fine! He had a promotion last month. He's now captain of his own ship, the USS Abraham Lincoln. I'm very proud of him!"

Grant nodded. "He'll be a fine captain."

Offering the mug filled with steaming coffee to the President, Artie said, "I'm going to give you my bed Moira, I have a cot in my lab and I will spend the night there. I use it when I spend almost the whole night doing experiments and I'm too tired to go to bed."

Moira smiled broadly. "Thank you Artemus, you're a gentleman." Then she took a deep drag from his big cigar and puffed out a long, slow breath of smoke.

WWW

Later,

In the lab

Lying on the cot in his lab, his back propped up on two pillows Artemus was reading the last chapter of a book on botany when there was a knock at the door.

He glanced at the door, raised his voice and said, "Come in!"

Moira entered the room a few seconds later, barefoot and wearing a pair of Artie's flannel pajamas far too big for her slender body. "I didn't know if you were asleep…" She said, closing the door behind her. Then she glanced at the large room plunged in semi-darkness, lit only by a lantern sitting on the small table which was settled beside the cot. "Hmmm… Artemus's den."

There was a dresser on the right covered with pharmacy pots and a long table occupied the left side. Chemistry equipment, a microscope, Bunsen burners, sketchbooks, pencils, weapon models and various gadgets were sitting on it, pell-mell. "I love it! I guess you spend all your free time here inventing all kinds of gadgets and bombs for your partner and you…"

Propping himself on his elbows, Artie smiled and then said, "Yes, exactly. You look lovely in my pajamas, Moira. What's brings you here in the middle of the night?"

Moira sat down beside Artie on the portable bed and said, "You had a great idea to install those large heating copper coils in the train otherwise we would be shivering! It's freezing outside! You have always been very ingenious. Does it work with the boiler of the locomotive?"

He nodded. "Exactly. It's a water heating system. But it's something temporary and experimental, I will remove after winter. I replaced the cast iron employed in radiators by copper pipes for better heat transfer to the surrounding air. If it works, like I think it will, I will then create radiators - I mean convectors as those devices transfer heat mainly by convection – to fit-out the Wanderer. And I will provide them with a thermostatic valve which could be used to control the temperature of a room by changing the flow of hot water circulating through exposed pipes, which is not the case with the current system. I'm working on it and on the aesthetic side of them, of course."

Moira nodded, impressed. "You're a genius Artemus and a great inventor! And you're brilliant at everything you do," and smiled when he blushed with both pleasure and pride." Hearing the whistling gusts of wind pummeling the train, she asked, "Do you think we'll be able to leave Washington tomorrow morning?"

Artemus moved to sit up until his back was up against the piled pillows and responded, "I don't know. Snowdrifts are encasing the train. We'll see tomorrow what to do. now answer my question, Moira."

She slid her hand under Artemus's. "I don't like sleeping alone – being alone. I mean I'm always traveling with my men and they are around me day and night. I got used to it. Can I stay with you?" I won't take much space, I'm a petite woman."

Embarrassed he shook his head. "Moira, it's not a good idea…"

She sat on the edge of the small bed and took Artie's hand in his, pressing it. She batted her eyelashes with a huge pout on her face. "Please." Then, she had a mocking smile and asked, "What are you afraid of?"

Uncomfortable, but not showing it, Artie raised his chin, falsely offended. "Nothing."

Moira grinned. "Good! I promise I'm not going to jump on your bones – you're like a brother to me and you're not my type - no offense - I prefer tall, blond eyed men with a square jaw and a high forehead, like Ingmar my Swedish companion – it's too bad he's married."

Lowering himself onto his back, Artemus chuckled. "None taken. Jim is going to be so disappointed. Because you're definitively his type. You're petite, thin, brunette, with a perfect body, a strong will – and you know how to use revolvers and rifles. Did I mention that you are a beautiful woman too?"

Moira blushed with pleasure. "Thank you, and you're a handsome man Artemus. I'm sure that all women you meet want to have you in their bed... "

Shaking his head, Artie replied, "Well, no woman can resist my good looks and my charm… with two exceptions, Lily Fortune and you."

Moira folded back the blankets on the unoccupied side of the small bed and not waiting for an invitation, she slid under the bedclothes, and then she asked, "What happened with Lily?"

Artie sighed, still feeling a little pain in his heart. "I met her two years ago and I fell in love with her again. It was like a second love at first sight. I thought she had the same feelings, but I was wrong. I was so in love with her that I asked her to marry me and… she said no, and my heart broke…" He said in a defeated voice. He paused and added, "And it will take time for it to be intact again."

Nestling against Artemus, Moira snorted and said, "She's an idiot! Don't worry Artemus, one day you'll find the one for you."

She shifted a little, finding a comfortable position and snuggled all up against Artie – who gulped feeling deeply embarrassed as he couldn't ignore Moira's curves and her warmth against him and couldn't ignore his rapidly tensing body. He couldn't help but focus on the nice feeling of her breasts pressing against his chest and her hips meeting his… A bright blush crossed his face. 'Think about something else, old boy,' he begged his brain as he stiffened.

Feeling Artie becoming as rigid as a statue, Moira chuckled softly. "Relax, Artemus." Then she settled one hand on Artie's hip, the other arm tucked under her neck. "We slept together – side by side - in the same bed when we were teenagers, it's not different."

Doing his best to keep his body's reactions at bay, Artemus said, his voice hoarse, "It's very different now. We are both adults and… and…" He clutched at the bedspread in discomfort. "God please, go back to your room." Heat was rising throughout his body and his control declining. "Now!"

Moira shook her head. "Nope! It's warm, I'm comfortable and I'm staying – and you don't have to give me orders, and even if you could do it, I would disobey, I can't stand being ordered." She snuggled closer to him, resting her head against his shoulder with a pleased hum.

He closed his eyes in resignation. "Alright, you win. You can stay… But I could use a cold shower now." And heard her burst out laughing.

He turned over, offering Moira a view of his back and the nape of his neck, facing the opposite direction to his female best friend and he somehow regained control of his emotions and body reactions.

She grinned and spooned against him wrapping one arm around him – eliciting a gasp. "It's even worse like this right?"

Artemus heaved a long-suffering sigh. "You love teasing me, don't you?"

Moira nodded, a smirk on her face. "Why do you think I'm here with you?" She paused and added, "And I'm going to tease you for days to come."

He groaned. "Oh great!" He frowned disapprovingly. "You lied to me, Moira. We promised no to tell lies to each other."

Moira grinned. "It doesn't count if lies are part of a good plan, and it was good one." She palpated his side and he giggled. "Still ticklish… "Good night Artemus, pleasant dreams…" Then she closed her eyes and started to drift off to sleep, a wicked smile on her lips.

Bodies pressed together.

He sighed, whispered, "Boy! You're impossible!" then listened to the Wanderer which was groaning under the wind's assault, the blizzard reaching its full force.

Moira nuzzled her face in between Artie's shoulder blades, "Good night, Artemus."

He whispered, "Good night Moira," before he yawned and he finally dozed off, relaxing in Moira's warm, affectionate embrace.

Moira lay awake, listening to Artie's slow, even breathing mixed with the howling blizzard battering the train until she fell asleep.

WWW

The next morning

Noticing that the silent galley was Artemus-less and that there was no breakfast in sight – Jim headed toward the lab.

He was hungry and the President – who was in the bathroom, taking a bath – would need to eat something soon too. And nothing was ready! He thought.

He knocked at the door, opened it a few seconds later and stepped inside the lab plunged in semi-darkness as the light of dawn was passing through the windows.

He increased the light coming from the wall lamp to his right adding more light in the big room. "Wake up Artie!" it's time to get up!" he said.

He turned around and froze on the spot in utter surprise – discovering Artie and Moira snuggled together beneath the blankets, sharing the small bed.

Moira had her head pillowed on Artie's chest and the two had their arms and legs intertwined under the bedspread.

He rolled his eyes. Brother and sister? Ah come on! No more, he thought.

He moved closer and saw Moira stirring and opening her eyes. "Good morning," he said to her. "Did you sleep well Miss O'Donnell?"

She smiled. "Call me Moira, please. And yes, I slept very well… Artemus is very comfy. It's a huge change. He was so bony when he was a teenager, he was all angles."

Suddenly a smile appeared on Artie's lips while rubbing one fist over his dry eyes. "Comfy? You mean that I'm a little bit fat?" He gasped in surprise as Moira pinched one love-handle, then he laughed. "Hey! Don't do that! I'm not a piece of dough!"

She brushed some of his hair out of his face. "I know." She kissed his nose, then Artie choked on a giggle and jerked as she tickled his bare foot with her toes.

Looking up at Jim, Artie noticed an arched eyebrow and disapproving look and pursed lips. "I know what you're thinking. No, you're wrong, nothing happened. we just 'slept' together, from the verb sleep, to rest by sleeping; be asleep. That's all. Moira and I are best friends – period. Get your mind out of the gutter!"

Smiling Jim couldn't help but sigh in relief.

Artie held back a smirk as he realized that his partner was attracted to Moira – who wasn't interested in him and would let him know, later, when she realizes he wants to seduce her. 'Poor Jim you can't win them all!' he thought.

Moira chuckled. "He's telling the truth. I spent the night with him – just to have fun, expecting him to be embarrassed as I was snuggling against him, and he was, oh boy!" She sat up on the cot and reached over to ruffle Artemus's already messy wild locks affectionately. "I love you." She looked up at Jim again and added, "I love teasing him mercilessly, always have and always will." She stretched, her stomach growling it needed to be fed and soon. "I'm hungry! What's for breakfast? I could eat a horse."

Sending Artie a meaningful look, he said, "Well breakfast will be ready when Artie prepares it. I am unable to boil an egg. He's the Chef on board."

Moira stood and patted Jim's arm, "Let's see if I'm a better Chef than him, well I am. I'm going to prepare breakfast! I suppose that the galley is filled with everything I need?"

Artie nodded. "I did the shopping two days ago, you will find everything you need in the cupboards and in the mini cold storage."

Moira smiled. "Good! I don't want to see anyone in the galley. I like to cook alone and I'm going to need time, two hours for what I want to do. " Then she headed toward the door. "See you later Magnus! And save me some hot water will you! I need to take a bath."

Once she had left the lab, Jim sat on the edge of the cot and looked at the older man with a broad smile on his face. "She calls you Magnus too?"

Propping himself on his elbows, Artemus responded, "Yes, as you know all my friends called me Magnus when I was a boy, Moira included. Magnus. Magnus means 'great' in Latin, and it was a Roman first name. They called me that because I could do many things: play all the music instruments, read and speak Greek and Latin fluently…"

Jim nodded. "I know and too, because your first name sounds Roman. Artemus Magnus." Smiling he said, "It could have been worse, she could have called you Artie."

Holding back an eye roll Artie said, "Very droll Jim." He slowly and gently moved into a sitting position and pricked up his ears. No blizzard. "The snow tempest is gone!"

Pointing at the door, Jim said, "Moira likes teasing you, likes to compete with you to show she's better than you… and I'm sure she loves playing pranks on you. Boy! I don't regret being an only son, having such a sister must be exhausting." He helped his best friend to sit and added, "Even if she's your surrogate sister." Then he gave the other man his crutch. "She's one of a kind!"

Artie smiled. "Oh yes, and she has a great amount of affection for me and she's also very protective towards me, like big sisters are with younger siblings. I adore her."

Jim was stunned. "She's older than you? But she looks a lot younger than you!"

Artie chuckled. "She's three years older than me, Jim, it's not a lot, but enough for me to be her little brother. Time seems to have little influence on her. Help me please?"

Helping his partner to stand, Jim said, "The snow tempest is gone but walls of snow are piled everywhere in the Capital. Washington is in shutdown. Roads, cabs, trains, shops, saloons, etc. are closed – and all the federal buildings too. The president received a message early this morning. Troops are on their way to remove the snow, here included."

Stretching like a cat, Artie said, "Good!"

WWW

Later, in the parlor car

Looking at the snowed-up windows President Grant said, "Soldiers are clearing the snow around the train and in the streets of Washington as I speak. I will be able to come back to the White House after breakfast." He glanced again at the table covered with a gargantuan breakfast composed of baked goods, jam, fruit, and coffee, of a heaping plate of eggs, bacon, sausage, toast, beans, and roasted mushrooms and tomatoes and pancakes, toast and bread with butter jam, honey. "But I'm thinking of coming back here every morning to have such a huge and wonderful breakfast, bravo Moira!"

Giving Artie a playful wink, Jim said, "Even your big, copious breakfasts are boring compared to all this… even her coffee is better than yours." Looking at Grant – ignoring Artie's mocking scowl - he asked, not hiding his amusement, "Could I have Moira as my new partner, Mr. President?"

Knitting his eyebrow Artie looked falsely offended.

The POTUS chuckled softly. "No, you're stuck with Artemus, Jim. You can't be separated, like the two sides of a coin can't."

Moira smiled. "Give a man good food and he'll do anything for you." Then she patted Artemus's hand. "I'm an overseas agent. Working here – even traveling throughout the country doing what you do - doesn't appeal to me. It's not exciting, extraordinary and exotic enough to me."

Feeling a bit offended, Jim said, "Our assignments are not boring. They are filled with action, adventure, mystery, it's far from being boring, you know?"

Moira smiled soothingly. "I never said that. I know by Artemus's letters and conversations with me that you have a thrilling life, but your assignments are not as extraordinary as mine…"

Raising his hand, Artie said, "We are not chasing the Yeti in the Himalayas for example but Jim and I traveled back in time to the Prehistoric era, avoided being killed by mammoths, met Aztecs, fought dragon-like creatures, traveled in space on a spaceship…"

Moira was flabbergasted. "What? How is it possible?"

Grant cleared his throat. "That mission is top secret, I want you to keep it that way, not a word to anyone," he said.

Pleased to see that Moira was utterly stupefied – and gaping, being silent - and impressed and a little less patronizing, Jim added, "Our life is amazing, fantastic, and literally out of this world! 'One point for us!' he added in his mind. "Without forgetting that Artie's mind was transferred into a cat's head – no a kitten's head – that he was de-aged to a five year-old boy… Oh! And he was transformed into a werewolf too."

Moira opened her eyes incredibly wide and stared at Artemus. "What?... A werewolf? I… I spent years looking for one to capture one…" Spreading marmalade on a piece of toast, Artemus suddenly realized something. "Speaking of Marmalade…" He looked around him and spotted none of the three resident cats in the room. "Where are the cats?"

President Grant struck a match against the side of the table and said. "They're in the Stateroom, napping. As soon as I opened the door earlier this morning they came in and leaped on the bed." Then he lit his first cigar of the day.

His worry gone Artie stabbed a sausage with his fork and said, "Trying to capture Big Foot is going to be an exciting adventure!"

WWW

Later in the morning

Standing in the shower stall, his back facing the door, his cast waterproofed with a long impermeable bag, Artie picked up a bottle of mint-scented shampoo siting on a shelf.

He poured some onto his hair, put the bottle back in its place and then, humming, Chopin Nocturne Op.9 No.2, he began working the shampoo into a lather on his soaked curls.

Keeping his head down so the soapy water still dripping off his hair didn't get in his eyes, he scrubbed down to his scalp, until his hair was like a big mass of bubbles.

He worked his fingers through his foamy hair one last time before turning the warm, not too hot water on again a couple of minutes later and dipped his head under the spray, rinsing the soapy suds away.

He suddenly froze when he heard the bathroom door open and then shut.

He called, "Jim?"

He heard a 'no, it's not Jim' coming from Moira.

He hurriedly grabbed the towel from a hook placed on the wall. "Moira! Damnit!" He spluttered as he wrapped his hips in it, tying it on the side. "I was taking a shower!"

Moira nodded, "I noticed." She grinned. "It's not anything I haven't seen before," she said.

Artemus turned off the running water and slowly turned around being careful not to fall, the floor being slippery. His cheeks flared pink as he saw her in the doorway, flushed from embarrassment and from irritation. "It's the principle of it. Have you never heard about intimacy and decency?"

Moira leaning against the doorframe, grinning wickedly from ear to ear, shook her head. "Yes of course, but my curiosity took over. Sorry. I knew you were taking a shower, that's why I came in. I wanted to see your Comanche tattoo. I love it."

Leaving the shower stall Artemus glared at his childhood best friend, pursing his lips. "You could have waited until I got dressed, Moira."

She chuckled. "And not see your naked butt front at the same time? It was a bonus. Nice butt by the way." Then she turned around him, surveying what she could see of Artie's body. "Oh! You have another tattoo on your arm! It's a dragon! You didn't tell me about this one."

Shaking his hair out like a dog - splattering Moira with a shower of water droplets at the same time - Artemus stopped Moira, grabbing her by one arm and then said, "You're impossible! Where are your manners?" Then he released her, grabbed another towel from a rack and rapidly began rubbing his hair dry leaving wild locks sticking out in all directions.

She smiled. "You sound like my brother. They're gone, when I started to explore the world with a bunch of male companions who are rather boorish and who don't care about proprieties. It's like living with ten boisterous brothers. We share everything, where we sleep, where we bath, what we eat and drink, they take care of me when I'm sick or injured or both, I take care of them the same way…I saw them naked dozens of times, they saw me naked dozens of times too, there was no big deal." She moved behind him and using a fingertip, she traced the outlines of the black eagle tattooed on Artie's back. "It's beautiful. By the way, you didn't tell me anything about the ceremony that preceded your tattooing – or about your tattoo either."

Looking at Moira, Artie shook his head, "And I won't."

She frowned, upset. "Why? Tell me about it and I will show you mine and tell you the story linked to it. Deal?" She said.

He opened his eyes wide in surprise. "You have a tattoo?"

Moira nodded. "Yes, I have. It's not as big as yours, but it's as beautiful as yours." Then she lifted the jacket of the pajamas stopping it under her breasts.

He gasped. "Stop!"

Moira smiled wickedly. "I stopped, don't fret. Here is my tattoo." And she traced the outlines of two entwined dragons, one blue spitting bits of ice, the other red, spitting fire curled around her navel. "Someone told me one day, in China that I was like ice and fire... meaning that I can be cold, implacable and relentless and also bighearted, expansive and generous. I liked that so I asked a tattooist for a tattoo representing who I am – and he did this… "

Reaching out Artie couldn't help but touch the tattoo. "It's beautiful! It's a piece of art!" Then he moved his hand back.

She chuckled. "I think so too. You see, I'm a living paradox." She paused and then added, "So tell me about your story, come on."

Artie shook his head. "You forgot to mention obstinate in that list. No. And it's a firm no. That ceremony was sacred, Moira – it was a religious ritual, and I promised Chief Yellow Arrow not to talk about it to outsiders, not even to you. I didn't tell anything to Jim either, and I will keep my promise. As for my tattoo, as you can see, it represents an eagle with its wings spread wide open, it symbolizes the eagle that marked my back…" He paused feeling Moira touching the scars that the eagle had left in his skin and flesh with his talons. He added, "It's a highly symbolic tattoo and it's linked to religious beliefs. It's a mark of distinction and honor too. But tattooing that eagle on my lower back was awfully long, and awfully painful…"

Moira nodded, "I know. The tattooist spent three days working on my tattoo and the pain was almost unbearable, but I suppose that tattooing you was like a trip in hell given the rudimentary tools that the Indians used… Why did you accept being tattooed then? You didn't tell me."

Moving toward the dressing table, Artie replied, "As you know I was being tortured on that 'burning stone' by the Comanche when an eagle - the Sacred Kwihnai, eagle in Comanche language, which is the messenger between humans and the Big Father, the Creator god, most commonly identified with the sun - landed on my back, marking my back with its talons. Then he let out short calls while opening his broad wings wide – covering my body with its wingspan – signaling to the Comanche that the Big Father was protecting me. So, to thank the Comanche god for having saved my life – because the Comanche were going to kill me, no doubt of that, I gladly accepted being tattooed."

From the drawer he pulled out a straight razor, a shaving brush and a glass jar containing a white Chantilly-like cream.

Intrigued, Moira took it and asked, "A new invention?"

Opening the jar Artemus replied, "Shaving cream was used around 3000 BC by the Sumerian people. I didn't invent it. I improved the composition."

Fingering the Comanche Eagle again, still fascinated, Moira said, "You never told me either why you chose to put your tattoo there."

Artie sat on a chair, sideway, in front of the mirror, lifting up his leg immobilized in a heavy cast and settled it upon a stool.

He removed the long oiled canvas bag that protected it from the water and folded it before putting it to one side of the table. "At first Yellow Arrow wanted it on my front, with the body, head and legs of the eagle covering my chest, and its wings my shoulders, so anyone could see it, but I wanted something a little more discreet… so I chose my lower back, just above the waistline so it still can be seen, and I asked for a smaller tattoo too. Like I told you, tattooing that eagle was very, very, very painful; the Medicine Man hand-tapped the black dye – made with animal charcoal produced by charring animal bones – into my skin using sharp stone needles. Then, he removed the dye mixed with my blood with a cloth and my black eagle appeared on my skin… I did my best not to show the people around me that it was torture, and they appreciated my efforts. You see for the Comanche, tattooing is part of a process to emphasize in warriors the endurance of pain; and pain they believe brings a closer association with the Big Father. When it was over, it felt like a grizzly bear had mauled my lower back."

He covered the shaving brush with the shaving cream and lathered his face and neck. "Jim and I simply couldn't live without it now.." Then using a pitcher he poured steaming water in a large bowl.

Moira took the sharp blade in her hand. "Let me do that or you're going to slit your throat, your hand is trembling, from extreme tiredness."

Looking up at Moira's reflection in the mirror, he said, his voice strained, "I have never been able to hide anything from you. Yes, it's from great fatigue. The last mission was tiring – and my leg hurt like hell undermining all my strength and a compressed leg limits my comfort and prevents me from sleeping properly since the end of it – more than three weeks ago - despite the leave granted by Colonel Richmond."

Moira nodded. "Because of the pain in your leg. Why didn't you take laudanum? It could have helped you to sleep at night."

Shaking his head, Artie replied, "Yes and fogged my mind during the day. No. I had a lot of things to do, and I couldn't afford to sit idle."

Moira grabbed Artemus's cream-covered chin with her left hand. "You never stop, I know. But you should pay more attention to your health." She ran her thumb along the edge of the razor. "Lean your head back."

He smiled complying. "Yes mom."

She smiled too. "How is your mother and how is Harry?" Then she slowly dragged the sharp blade across Artie's skin.

Feeling Moira sliding the straight razor down his cheek to the corner of his jaw, smoothly, he responded, "Oh, they're fine. I spent the first week of my leave with them at home. It was nice to be pampered, doing nothing but eating, reading and sleeping."

Taking a towel from a shelf, Moira asked, "Then why did you leave? No let me guess, you had to do some work here."

He nodded. "Yes, I had to work on the water heating system before the beginning of winter. I engineered it, but had it built and installed. I would have done it myself if I hadn't had a broken leg."

Moira dipped the blade in the hot water, then wiped it in the towel. "Speaking of broken leg I think you should stay on board the Wanderer instead of going with us."

He shook his head before holding still as Moira following the curve of his jaw with the blade, exposing a stripe of smooth skin. "And leave you alone with Jim? Oh no!"

Moira chuckled. "I already told you, he's not my type of man, he has zero chance to seduce me. I'm not interested in him."

It was Artemus's turn to chuckle. "I'm worried about Jim because you're going to give him a rough time. You are as strong as him, you have as much character as him, you are not afraid of anything, like him, and you like to command, like him ... there will be some friction and sparks between you. I have to be there to smooth things over and avoid conflicts."

Moira cleaned the blade of cream and hair again in the bowl of water then wiped it again in the towel. "I didn't think about that. You will play the peacemaker then." She grinned. "Do you remember when I was fighting with that brute Peter Bedford who wanted to make the school his own kingdom? With the help of his bully minions? In order to impose his rules on everyone?"

Holding still as Moira shaved his other cheek, leaving a strip of pink in the layer of white foam that covered it, Artemus said, "Of course I remember. You were leading the resistance which I was part of. I was your faithful Lieutenant."

Moira nodded. "And you always interposed between the two of us before it degenerated, and one day it did. He hit you."

Holding still as Moira continued to shave his cheek, he said, "Yes he did. I came back home with a black eye and blood running from my nose."

Moira nodded, a broad grin on her face, "And this time I didn't hold back my punches. I knocked him out because he had hurt you."

Artie smiled. "He was so utterly humiliated after that – a girl had just put him KO in front of everyone – that he asked his parents to change his school and his minions stopped bullying the others. Peace came back in school after that." His smile broadened. "Let's hope that I won't end up with a black eye and a bloody nose interposing myself between Jim and you."

Moira dipped the razor in the water again and continued. "Have the two of you ever fought with each other?" She asked.

Keeping his face immobile, Artie replied, "We traded some punches yes, as part of a plan, or when I wasn't myself, like when I was drugged or hypnotized and thought Jim was my enemy, but we never fought against each other."

Moira chuckled. "You're like an old couple." Then, stroke by stroke she shaved away Artie's stubble. "Almost finished," she said. She took the towel, dipped a corner in the water and wiped off the remaining flecks of shaving cream. "All done, Magnus." She leaned down, stroked his smooth cheek slowly, then pressed a kiss to it. "Perfect! And you are as handsome as ever, Artemus Your face is clean and smooth."

Smiling, Artemus was kissing her back on her cheek when the door opened and Jim entered. "Well, you didn't drown I see," he said.

Moira shook her head. "It would be difficult while taking a shower… Artemus has finished. The bathroom is for me now."

Standing, Artie pointed at his bathrobe hanging on a coat hook attached to the door and said, "You are wearing a pair of my pajamas, my bathrobe is yours." He kissed Moira on her forehead and then added, "I'm going to prepare lunch, if of course you didn't empty all the cupboards containing the food supplies, otherwise I'll have to go shopping."

She sent Artie a sheepish smile. "I think we need food supplies before leaving Washington. But you aren't going to go out in your state with inches of snow everywhere. You could slip on a patch of ice and break your leg again. Or break another limb as your balance is disturbed. Jim is going to go grocery shopping for you. Make a list of what you need for him."

Jim wasn't too excited about going shopping – it wasn't his thing, but Artie's. "I have to stay here to protect the President."

Moira crossed her arms on her chest and raised her chin up in a 'I'm ready-to-fight' move, "Artemus can do that too, right?"

Copying the woman's gesture, Jim replied, "Right, but he won't be able to move fast if needed – and could put the President's life in danger." He looked at Artie, and added, "No offense."

Bowing his head slightly in understanding, Artie said, "None taken, you're right Jim. The safety of the President comes first. I will go shopping for some groceries."

Her eyes turning green in displeasure, Moira moved protectively and unconsciously in front of Artemus. "It is out of the question for Artie to walk to the shops, let alone ride a horse…"

Jim nodded. "Of course. I'm going to send the fireman to rent a vehicle…" 'Boy! her eyes are even more beautiful, if possible, when she's angry!' He thought feeling his heart pound in his chest with desire.

Moving into Jim's personal space, in attack mode, Moira said, "Does Magnus here have a special ability to go shopping?"

Frowning, puzzled, Jim said, "No."

Moira continued, "Then I have a better idea. The fireman is going to go grocery shopping and Artemus will stay here with me, warm and safe."

Feeling sheepish Jim nodded. "It's a good idea, I didn't think about it."

Moira looked at Artemus and said, "I know you have liked shopping since you were a boy because it allows you to interact and chat with people, discover new products and share tips and recipes with other customers, but sometimes you have to delegate – like now. Taking a break from the routine is good from time to time you know. It avoids boredom of repetition." She paused and looked at Jim eye to eye. "And you are not in the service of your partner."

Embarrassed Artie said, "You're wrong, Moira. I'm not at Jim's service… even if sometimes I feel like I'm his own personal Chef. But I love it."

Moira patted Artemus's arm. "I know, It's not a reproach I'm making you, Artemus but giving counsel." Then she looked at Jim eye to eye and then she continued, "Even though Jim here probably better knows the difference between two types of bullets rather than two types of apples, he can go shopping if you give him a list and explain to him what you want, right Jim?"

Keeping a neutral face, Jim nodded. "Of course."

Moira smiled. "Good!" She pushed the two men into the narrow walkway. "Now I need to take a bath. See you later." And she closed the door – and locked it.

Grinning from one ear to the other, Artie said, "She's pretty straightforward isn't she? That's what I like most about her."

Leaning against the wooden wall Jim nodded. "She's unique! This is the first time I've met someone like her ... I am at the same time surprised, amazed and admiring." He paused, his eyes sparkling with love. "And she's so beautiful… her eyes are incredible!"

Heading toward the door of his compartment, Artemus said, "Pardon me if I'm blunt, but I do this for your own good. She's not interested in you, Jim. You don't look like a Swede."

Puzzled, Jim frowned, "What?"

Entering his private room, followed closely by his partner, Artemus explained, "I love you as a brother Jim, and that's why I don't want you to suffer. Moira is not attracted to you, and won't be, ever. You're not her type. She loves big, blond men with blue eyes, like Swedes."

Disappointed and unhappy Jim tightened his lips. "You're sure?" He asked.

Removing the towel tied around his waist and then dropping it on his bed, Artie replied, "Yes I'm sure. She told me. I'm sorry, Jim." Naked, he sat on the edge of the mattress and propped his encased leg up on the narrow bed. He couldn't help but scratch his cast. "My leg itches! I really look forward to removing it! The first thing I'm going to do when the cast comes off will be to give my leg a good scratching. You'll cut it in half at the end of the week, without cutting my leg. I count on you."

His mind focused on what Artie had revealed to him Jim nodded absently. "Yes, of course," he said. "See you later."

He left the room, shoulders slumped.

WWW

Later

Propped against pillows on the couch with his leg wrapped in a cast settled on the coffee table, Artemus glanced at Jim.

His partner was sitting at the dining table, reading the newspaper, a cup of coffee in front of him. He had said nothing for the last hour. He was brooding.

Looking at Moira sitting crossed-legged at his side, feeling bad, he whispered, "Maybe I shouldn't have told him he had no chance to seduce you. He's in love with you. I had never seen that before. He never fell in love with a woman. If you had told him yourself he would have been heartbroken…"

Moira moved her white rook on the chessboard easily forcing Artemus's black king to checkmate on the edge of the board. "Checkmate!" She announced with a broad smile.

Lowering his eyes to the chessboard Artie sighed in defeat. "Again. I think I'm going to stop playing against you, Moira."

President Grant sitting at the work table, paused his reading of his two best agents latest report and said, "Moira is unbeatable at chess, I should have warned you."

Moira looked at Jim, hiding behind the Washington Gazette hen back at her best friend. "And he's not heartbroken now? It was done with good intention, but it didn't work," she said, not lowering her voice.

Feeling guilty now Artemus said, in a low voice, "I know. If only I could help him somehow…I don't like to see him suffer."

Moira stood and headed toward Jim. She grabbed his newspaper and dropped it to the floor. Then she pulled up a very surprised Jim West and leaning in she kissed him on the lips. Then she wrapped her arms around his neck. "I'm sorry, I should have told you myself, please forgive me," She said. She smiled and then she added, "I hope you feel better now," before kissing his nose.

Ignoring Grant's and Artemus's stunned gazes focused on them, Jim and Moira stayed in that position for a while, eye to eye, smiling at each other.

Still smiling, Jim cupped Moira's face in his hands, thumbs stroking her temples. "Yes, much better, and you don't need to apologize. You're an incredible woman, you know that?"

She nodded. "I know. People say that to me all the time. And speaking of time… I'm sure it's the first time ever a woman has not fallen enamored into your arms.

His smile broadening, Jim nodded and replied, "Yes. There is a first time for everything… But I hope this first time will be the last."

Moira's fingers tangled in Jim's hair. "Do you want to be my second-best friend? The first place is already taken by Artemus."

They both glanced at Artie who said, "And I'm keeping it."

Chuckling Jim put his hands in Moira's hair, then he gently pulled her face toward his and softly kissed her on the forehead.

Grant smiled broadly. "I think the answer is yes," he said.

WWW

Later

Looking at all the bags filled with food supplies which were sitting on the work table, coffee table and couches, President Grant said, "I know now where a large part of the budget I allow you goes."

Pointing an accusing finger at Jim, Artemus said, "He's the one who eats the most Sir – and never gain weight. I find it totally unfair." Then he chuckled.

Ulysses S. Grant sighed moving his hand to his rounded stomach. "I know the problem," and then he cleared his throat. "Well, my escort will be here soon. I'd like to stay for lunch and share it with you, but I have a country to run and I have to go back to the White House."

Moira smiled. "It was a pleasure to share some time with you, Sir, and I hope to see you again after finding and capturing Bigfoot."

Grant smiled. "I'm sure you will. Nothing and no one resists you, Moira." There was a knock at the door and Artie opened it – revealing a Major in uniform.

The officer saluted. "I'm Major Bradford. I'm commanding the President's escort." He said and saluted again when he saw the POTUS moving toward him. "Everything's ready Mr. President. Your coach is next to the platform and the escort standing by."

Placing his broad-brimmed hat on his head, Grant said, "Very well Major." Then he joined the other man on the rear platform. He turned around and glanced at Jim, Artie and Moira grouped together. "Be careful – and Godspeed." Then he left.

Closing the door as new snowflakes were falling from the sky, Jim said, "Let's get out of here before being stuck by the snow again!"

Ten minutes later the Wanderer had left the railroad yard and was on its way to the region of Mount St. Helens in Washington Territory.

WWW

The next day, in the evening

Looking down at his leg, now freed from the cast, Artie said, "I almost forgot what it looked like - and it's still a little swollen – and it's dirty and smelly."

Moira stepped over the cut in-half cast lying on the floor and sat on the bed. "And still bruised where the bone broke," she noticed. "You should have waited until the end of the week to remove you cast, there's no way to tell whether or not the broken bone is healed enough to stand on."

Rubbing his hairy leg, Artemus shook his head. "I know, but I couldn't bear it anymore, and I'm healed. Two more days wouldn't have changed anything." He moved to the side of the bed, bending his now healed leg and scratched his skin where it itched. He heaved a sigh of relief. "Oh, this is so good!"

He stood then, slowly, carefully, wobbling slightly.

Moira stood in a flash and grabbed Artie's arm, helping him balance himself out. "You should use your crutch again to walk, or a cane. Do you have one?"

Nodding, Artie replied, "Yes I have, I have several canes, a sword-cane, a rifle-cane, a cane-revolver and a basic cane." Then he walked steadily from one end of the room to the other. "But I don't need it. I'm fine, see?" and he smiled in both relief and pleasure.

Pointing at the bed, Moira said, "Sit down here and let me see your leg – and I don't care if it's dirty and smells bad. I've seen worse. Far worse."

Complying reluctantly Artie said, "What do you want to do?" And he gasped in surprise when Moira started massaging it energetically.

Moira said, "I have magic hands and I give fabulous massages, you'll see. That will help the blood to flow into your leg." And she pressed firmly and carefully at the muscles.

Embarrassed to see Moira rub his grimy leg up and down, blushing, he grabbed her wrist, stopping her. "Stop! Let me take a shower before – and alone!"

Using her free hand Moira prodded Artie's leg around the fading bruise. "Does it hurt?" and Artemus shook his head. "Good!"

She finally noticed his unusual dark gray underwear – they were elastic-waisted trunks with a snap, a fly in front with two buttons – and she asked, "Another invention?"

Standing again, Artie replied, "Yes, as my cast went up to the thigh I couldn't wear regular underwear, they were too tight – and I wasn't going to spend several weeks sans-underwear, so I found this solution." He stretched and added, "I designed underwear with an elastic wide waistband to fit the waist; and be comfortable, which can be opened up completely, thanks to the snap and the buttons on the fly. I made it in a loosely fitting fabric so that I could pull it over my cast."

She chuckled softly. "You always have lots of good ideas, Magnus, I admire you." She patted his knee. "Go to the bathroom now, you stink"

Tbc.