jace*

I wait for clary to text me back but she doesn't during school hours. it gives me a strange feeling in my gut but I try to ignore it and tell myself everything is fine and she will text me later. she probably just got held up. I walk to my lunch period and eat my lunch while trying not to think of anything but I cant manage to get that weird feeling out of my stomach. I decide to text her after my lunch and hope she answers.

clary*

I walk into the bathroom with my best fake smile and I spot Izzy looking in the mirror. she obviously isn't fooled by my fake smile. "what happened?" she asks. I break down and silent tears roll down my face. "he saw me in the hall when I was trying to come get you and..." I hate the word, I refuse to say it. Izzy walks over and gives me a hug that makes me want to cry at the amount of care she is showing me. I flinch at first but I don't push her away. I let the silent tears run down my face and decide that I cant deal with last period or tomorrow. if I have to come to school with him again I won't be able to handle it. he'll do it again and I might throw myself off of a building if that happens again. I have put up with it for too long and won't and can't do it anymore. "let's go home I don't think I can do this anymore ill just have to stop coming to school they cant force me to come" I say wiping my tears. "ok lets go" she says with a sympathetic smile. we walk out to my bike and as I'm about to start it my phone rings. I see that Jace texted me. I open it and see its just a simple

'hey whats up.'-j

hey sorry I stayed in the office longer than planned'-c

'no prob you still up for Chinese food'-j

'actually how about we stay in, ill cook. I'm too tired to go out'-c

I'm not in the mood to go out. I don't want to bump into someone and start having a panic attack, which I have no doubt will happen given what he just did to me.

'that's cool. everything ok?'-j

'yea I'm just really tired'-c

'ok do you want me to come to the bar?'- j

'yea Rafael got me an oven for my new place so I can cook there'-c

'ok cant wait ;)'-j

I laugh at his text and then shove my helmet onto Izzy's head and before she can argue I rev the engine and take off down the street towards the bar. I lay in bed until its time for me to start getting ready. I pull on a cute grey sweater with an open back and jeans and cover the forming bruises on my face with makeup. I slip on socks but I don't bother with shoes and just go downstairs to raid the food supplies for ingredients to make spaghetti. I start cooking upstairs in my soon to be an apartment and clean the place up a bit. there is a couch and a chair that doesn't match, but not much else. I am straining the spaghetti when I hear Rafael yell from downstairs. I leave the colander of spaghetti in the sink and fly downstairs. I stop and walk when I know I'm in Jace's line of sight. "come on im making spaghetti" I say and take his hand guiding him up to my soon to be apartment. "nice place" he says sitting on the missed match furniture. "trust me I am so redoing the living room and bedroom" I say walking into the kitchen and bringing out two paper plates filled with spagetti and two forks and knives. "so what did you have to get in order at the office?" he asks "um... I decided that I'm dropping out of school" I say a little embarrassed "oh" he says. he sees my face and smiles "don't be embarrassed I'd drop out too if my foster dad would let me" he says "any particular reason for wanting to drop out?" he asks "I just already know all the shit they are teaching and I'm not exactly the most popular kid with a murderous grandad and a violent reputation so I just figured I could work more and get my own place that's not above a bar if I dropped out" I say "violent? clary Morgenstern? no" he said sarcastically "hey I am not violent," I say with a laugh "oh really you don't seem like you put up with much bullshit," he says "I don't but I have never started a fight except like twice," I say "out of how many?" he asks with a laugh "hold on" I say while counting with my fingers. I do it as a joke but he actually has me curious about the total "you really have to count like that or are you joking?" he asks with a grin "at first it was a joke but then I actually got curious" I admit with a laugh "well now you've got me curious" he says "20 or 21 I think" I admit feeling kind of embarrassed. I blush involuntarily. he notices "well if it makes you feel better I think I've been in about the same amount," he says "really?" I say not really believing him "ok not really more like 11 or 12 but I started most of them so it adds up to be the same amount of violence," he says with a chuckle. we finish eating and he insists on helping me clean up the kitchen. I start sweating and some of my make up must have come off because Jace notices something "what happened?" he asks drying his hands and turning my face with gentle fingers I flinch a little and hope he doesn't notice "is this why you didn't want to go out?" he asks "those are old" I lie "clary I've had enough to know that they are from today and haven't finished forming yet" he says "what happened I thought you were hiding out here" he says. I sigh feeling defeated "I didn't just drop out because I didn't like school, my brother goes there and is a lot worse than my dad," I say. I fight tears but one slip and I want to kick myself for letting it fall. Jace gently wipes the tear away and takes my hand. he walks us to the bathroom and sits me on the toilet lid. he picks up my makeup wipes and pulls one out. he reaches for my face but I stop him. he crouches to my level and sighs. "ill show you mine if you show me yours" he says. I can't believe this. I would never do this for anyone if they asked me to but I find myself letting his hand go and accidentally letting another tear slip. I wipe it away quickly and let him wipe off my makeup. he wipes it away gently so he wouldn't hurt me. I swear I can see small tears in his eyes but for all I know I could have just imagined it. he sighs and gently brushes my cheek revealing a spray of freckles and the bruise that is no doubt blue and purple. he pulls off his shirt revealing the scars and bruises and cuts I saw the other night and more added to the collection. I see a very deep gash on his shoulder that looks as though it just reopened. "Jace this one is open, let me get something for it," I say standing to get into the cabinet "clary it will be fine," he says catching my wrist. "no it won't it's bleeding a lot stay there," I say sternly "there's no stopping you is it?" he asks "nope" i say popping the 'p'. I grab some gauze pads, medical tape, alcohol, and towels from the cabinet. I make him sit on the toilet and get to cleaning the cut. he looks at me intently while I do so and I can feel his eyes on the bruises. "don't look at it. its embarrassing" I say "if it makes you feel better you look like a badass and it cant be more embarrassing than getting patched up by a four-foot, green-eyed, redhead" he says "hey I am 5'2" I say defensively. when I'm done getting it to stop bleeding so much I press a towel below it and tell him to brace his self. "I am a man I don't need to brace myself," he says cockily. I pour alcohol on the wound at this with a smirk and he sucks in a sharp breath and mumbles a curse. "I told you," I say with a proud but bitter grin. I pat the wound dry and put a gauze pad over it and seal it with medical tape. "done" I say "ok you got any you need to be taken care of?" he asks with a cocky grin. "no" I lie "you are a terrible liar" he says. I sigh feeling ashamed. "let's see," he says. I sigh again and let my head fall in shame. I pull down my jean revealing the cuts from Jonathan's nails on my thighs that have reopened. jace looks very angry and I hate to say that it kind of scared me. he starts working on them still looking very angry "what happened Clare, and don't lie" he says trying to conceal his anger. "when I say my brother is worse than my dad I don't mean when he beats me" I say "what did he do Clare?" he asks sternly. the tears roll back in and leave streaks down my face "he um... he... he..." I said sobbing. I don't want to say it. I hate that stupid word. that word can burn in hell. "he raped you?" he asks. I nod my head and more tears fall. Jace looks even angrier. he tells me to take his hand and squeeze as hard as I can. I take it and squeeze. he pours alcohol on the cuts on my first leg then covers them with a pad "how long has this been going on?" he asks sternly "a couple weeks"I lie. he seems to mad to notice. "ill kill him," he says "Jace..." I sigh " I won't let it happen again, Clare. I swear if he comes anywhere near you ever again I will kill him" he says "I know we haven't known each other long but I still care about you" he states "I care about you to" I say. he finishes getting the blood off my other leg and takes my hand again "squeeze" he says his voice taking on a more gentle tone. I squeeze and he pours the alcohol on my leg. he presses a pad to it and tapes it up there. "all done" he says with a small grin but he is obviously still upset. "hey come on we can watch a movie or something" I say trying to keep his mind away from his anger. "wait no I've got a better idea" I say feeling bold. "why do i feel like I'm in for trouble" he says with a grin that finally reaches his eyes. "probably because you are" I say. I pull him into the living room and sit him on the couch and take off down the stairs. I enter the bar and go behind the counter. its a slow night so I have no problem being down and back upstairs with two vodka and jager bottles each within 45 seconds. "now this is a game called sailor 20 questions" I say "I only play this game with my most loyal patrons and my none existent friends so you better feel lucky" I say. he laughs and takes a jager bottle from my hand. I decide on vodka for now because I'm feeling rather bold. "now the rules are we ask each other questions and for every answer, we have in common we take a drink. for every question, we don't want to answer we take a drink and if you accidentally repeat a question you have to take a drink. but you have to keep playing until both people have answered twenty questions" I tell him. "you are so trying to get me drunk" he says "if you want me to be that way all you have to do is ask" he says with a smirk "yea but this way I can get into your head at the same time" I say with a giggle "well I might just give you a run for your money red" we go through the game getting alot of answers the same and not wanting to answer questions like most embarrassing moment and how many people the other has slept with. mine was only two but he didn't need to know that. I had obviously been forced to sleep with Jonathan but I didn't want to tell him about that one time with Rafael. rafael had been drunk and so had I and we both decided that we were strictly friends. a lot of people thought that Rafael had a crush on me but I knew he didn't. he thought of me as a little sister and his best friend even told me that. not to mention that I was 15 and he was 18 and it was illegal but we never told anyone except Sebastian and his best friend. I didn't really want to know Jace's answer. I had a feeling I would get jealous. it was obvious that I liked him and I am guessing he likes me based on that kiss last night. "favorite color?" I ask. he takes a moment to think "green" he says with a smirk. "how about you, red?" he asks. "gold" I say feeling bold. "no drink for me then" he says with a smirk. "well I don't care about the rules right now so I am going to have one" I say and drink from the bottle. when I come up short of anything I realize I already drank the whole thing. good thing it was only a pint. "shit" I say and grab the other bottle. I take a drink while he chuckles. I give him a questioning look. "you don't even look that drunk" he says. "well I have a feeling that if I stand up I might fall over" I say "plus I've been drinking for a rather long time" I say "well how long have you been drinking little red?" he asks with a smirk "since I was 12" I say remembering that awful night. sebastian was knocked out on the floor and Jonathan was forcing granddads airplane bottles down my throat. I shake the thoughts away and focus on my time with Jace. "well damn red it seems that we got another question alike" he says with a smirk " I guess we did" I say smirking back and taking a drink. he takes a drink and grins at me. "favorite song?" I ask "enter sandman," he says. "oh my god I love that song," I say falling back onto the couch "but mine has the be smells like teen spirit," I say "holy shit I love Nirvana," he says "same," I say. I gasp in realization "hold on" I say and run down to me and Izzy's room. I grab one of a couple of CDs I brought with me and a small stereo. I run back upstairs almost falling from the alcohol but I right myself and keep going. I stop at the door and put the cd in then hit play. I walk-in dancing to smells like teen spirit like an idiot with the stereo on my index finger. jace laughs at this and walks over to me. he spins me around and around until I slip and brace myself for the fall. the wooden floors never come in contact with my back and head because strong muscley arms catch me first. I feel the blood rush from my face and can't help but think I look like an albino because the song says the word right when it happens. jace grins and pulls me back to my feet. he brushes a stray hair out of my face and his fingers linger on my cheek. he smirks and his lips crash on mine. I immediately react and kiss him back. his hands roam down to my ass and he lifts me up and my legs wrap around his waist. my arms wrap around his neck and suddenly were on the couch with him on top. his hands travel up my shirt leaving chill bumps in there path. his lips break from mine and travel to my neck in a sensitive spot by my ear. I can't help but feel amazing but in the back of my mind Jonathan's face is smirking on top of me and then Jace's hair turns to the white hair that petrifies me. and when he comes back up to kiss me his eyes aren't gold, they're black like his. I panic and start breathing hard. tears sting my eyes and then he's gone and Jace is in his place sitting up and pulling me into his arms "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to scare you... I promise" he says "no it's fine... I'm sorry... I didn't mean to" I sob. "clary it's not your fault you didn't do anything wrong I promise" he says "Jace?" I ask "what is it?" he asks sounding relieved that im not a balling mess anymore "will you please stay here tonight?" I ask "id love to," he says with a laugh at my nervousness. we drink a little more laughing at stupid jokes then lay down on the couch. "hey clary?" he asks "yea" I respond "I know we haven't known each other long but I have never felt this way about anybody and I don't want this feeling to go away" he says "what I'm trying to say is will you be my girlfriend?" he asks. I smile and giggle a little "only if you'll be my boyfriend" I say. he laughs and I feel it in his chest "well id be stupid to pass up that opportunity" he says with a smirk that I cant see but I know is there. I give him a small kiss then lay back down with my cheek against his rock hard chest. I feel safer than I ever have before in his arms. I don't ever want to leave this feeling. it makes me happy to know that someone cares about me. I never thought anyone would but he just told me he did. it makes me happier than I've ever been. I hope this feeling never goes away. but I've learned that hope can only get you but so far so I won't let this feeling go away. never. and anyone who tries to screw it up will not like my reaction. I can't let this feeling go away and I won't. not ever. these thoughts. when I feel his breathing even out. I force all thoughts out of my head and make myself sleep in his arms where I feel safe. and I sleep well for a while. but only for a little while. the nightmares still come but not as hard they seem to be fading whenever I spend time with him. it gives me a good feeling inside. and I wake up in a sweat but when I see his face and his arms around me I can't help but let a smile split my face and its the most amazing feeling I've ever had before.