Chapter 11: A Faraway Dream
The bombs exploded around him as Gakupo tried to keep up his pace behind Gumi. The adrenaline powered his footsteps as his every other sense told him to stop running and do something for the those being claimed in the sea of death.
There are people dying!
They need help!
You can't leave them!
But leave them he was. And not only was he leaving them, he was allowing Gumi to gun down anyone standing in their way.
"Come on! There was a small jetty by the waterline! We can steal a boat, we can get out of here!"
"I thought we were going to Westheim!" he shouted to his guardian.
"Eventually, we will, but not until Nordland is warned! Meiko is… Meiko is…"
Gumi's speech cut off as several gunshots fired right in Gakupo's ear. He hadn't even seen Luka raise her weapon and shoot behind him. "You're the patient! Please no shooting at the doctor!" he shouted back.
He wanted nothing more than to stop running to at least bandage her face. Already he knew from how cognizant of her circumstances she was that the bullet hadn't pierced Luka's brain. 'It could have ricocheted off the bones in her cheek… but she's still going to lose a lot of blood…'
She looked so pale… he was worried, how much blood had she already lost before Kaito had found him?
"Too soft… you're still too soft…" she whispered, "That man would have thought nothing of shooting all three of us… didn't you want to be a combat medic?"
She was right – for all his pacifist tendencies, he'd been fine earlier in his life with stepping onto a battlefield. How would he have handled the piling up of bodies? What if someone ran at his hospital and he'd had to protect his patients, would he have the nerve now?
"No one… ever taught me to fire a gun…" he stammered.
"You point and shoot. Simple."
"Get down, get down! That damn zeppelin's right on top of us!" Gumi shouted.
He clutched Luka close to him as he leapt ahead – he could feel the explosion shaking everything behind him as it exploded. He glanced around – Gumi hadn't hit the ground yet. He looked back to Luka and grew concerned at her paling color – the blood loss was catching up to her, he needed to bandage her face!
"That one, come on, we're taking that one!"
He looked up at a small grey vessel that looked more like a tiny fishing trawler than a war boat, until he spotted the hastily mounted guns onboard. More importantly, it looked to him like there was enough of an enclosed space to quickly clean Luka's wound.
"M…mother… it's burning…" Luka whispered.
"Burning?" Gakupo asked in confusion. Was she going delirious from the blood loss?
"Our home is burning… where are you?"
"Luka, please! It's me, it's Gakupo! The soft idiot!" he shouted.
He and Gumi crossed onto the deck of the boat. 'Dammit, how long has it been? Four weeks almost…'
Gumi dropped her gun and bolted for the controls, pressing the ignition as the boat's motor roared to life. "Luka, what's your blood type?" he shouted to her as he laid her to the floor of the deck. He had no luxury of a sterile environment this time.
"F-father… please come back… it's all burning…" she said.
"She's too delirious… ah… Gumi! What's your blood type?!"
"What?!" the green haired girl shouted as she tried to get the vessel moving in the water, "Why do you need to know?!"
"Luka's lost too much blood, she'll die if she doesn't replace it! Now what's your blood type?!"
"Ah… um… B?"
"Dammit!"
Gakupo pulled off his pack and started pulling out his medical supplies. He pulled out the swabs and began trying to clean off her face, soaking up the excess blood… with incredible speed he had her face completely bandaged on the injured side. "Okay… that'll stop any new bleeding… now… for what she lost…"
'Should have waited eight weeks… to be truly safe… but… I can't just let the patient die. I can't let a patient die! Especially… especially not her…'
Living in a world surrounded by violence and death wasn't what he'd intended. He'd arrogantly thought he'd found a way to live above it all, but maybe he was just hiding instead. He and Rin, in that little clinic while the world burned around them… His rigid vow of pacifism an excuse to keep himself artificially pure while everyone around him risked themselves…
'Luka… I asked you to do this… you wouldn't have been in front of a sniper's bullet if I hadn't-!'
Luka's one remaining eye began to flutter closed as he slipped the needles into his skin. "Gumi! If I pass out, I need you to take this needle out and patch up my and Luka's arms! Can you do that for me?!"
"What the hell, I have to drive the boat-"
"Promise me!" he commanded.
So shaken was the spy that the normally mild-mannered doctor was giving her orders, she complied, carefully driving the boat through the channel. "I have to watch the rocks up here… I may not see it happen. Gakupo, can you sing for me? Just… sing a song and if you stop… I'll know if…"
"More than happy to oblige!" he said cheerfully.
The red line began to flow and he tried to recall a song he'd heard in a stage performance on a night off from school…
"In the faint light, the toll of a bell resonates, I softly embrace your smile… The dusk we saw that day, the future we vowed each other… Hold strongly that love that seems to spill over!"
He tried to keep his eyes trained on Luka, but he already felt the weakness spreading through him. 'I must endure…'
He tried to basically will his body to stay alive.
"The tears that flowed in the frozen night are unnecessary now, because the morning is coming..."
The haze took him as he heard the sounds of combat fading while the boat drifted into the open sea.
"Soar higher like the birds dancing in… in…. in the heavens…"
This was far greater than the desire for a nap.
"C-c-c-crossing time, we now m-m-m-meet once more; it's…. a… Miracle of Life"
He barely noticed when his head hit the deck and he lost consciousness…
Miku kept her pistol close as she and Kaito approached the cabin. The snow has already gathered past her ankles, and she yearned for warmth as the darkening sky further inhibited their ability to navigate the mountain. She leaned up against a window and peered inside. "Nobody's there…"
She walked over to the door and gave the handle a try. It was unlocked. 'Either it's abandoned… or the person who uses it doesn't expect guests.'
Stepping inside to more cold air, she was at least grateful that she and Kaito were out of the wind. They'd been outside so long she thought she'd lost all feeling in her face, but fortunately she spied a small wood-burning stove inside. She heard Kaito close the door behind her and lay down his pack from the car on the floor.
"Is there any kind of kindling?" he asked calmly.
Miku searched the small space – aside from a bed and a table, she saw two small logs and a small cabinet. She rooted through it, turning up a small book of matches. "This might get us through the night… if we have to stay here longer, we'll at least have light in the morning."
Without even being asked, she picked up one of the logs and set it in the stove just right. Fortunately, it was dry. She managed to light it quickly and for a moment she hovered close to the heat.
She remembered long nights seeking warmth in front of the embers and she clutched her coat closer. More than anything, Miku feared the cold since those days, and the Godmothers knew… always trying to force her to "endure" but now she saw it for what it was – just one more attempt to break her.
Kaito sat on the bed, starting to remove his coat. She gasped as she saw how the blood from his old wound had seeped through his shirt. "Kaito, let me get you some bandages!" she said, leaping to her feet.
"I'm… I'm not in pain…" he muttered.
"But you can't get infected! We don't have a doctor anymore… we…"
She stopped as she imagined the kind man she'd had to leave behind. "He… He'll be upset with us both if we don't treat it well."
She hadn't actually seen Gakupo die… even with the low chance of survival he had… well somehow she and Kaito had made it through. Gakupo might yet live… and Gumi too… and… and…
She pulled out a little roll of bandages that he'd passed onto her. As if he'd already predicted in advance that he might not be there the next time Kaito needed medical attention. "I know it's cold, but just pull your shirt up and I'll bandage you up again."
Kaito silently did as told. The dried blood on his side worried her, and she grabbed for a cloth to try and brush it away. But another bit of good fortune greeted her – Kaito's stitches were still intact. She finished wrapping the bandages and let him go. Kaito let his shirt drop, and Miku winced at the sight of the blood. "I think we have a clean shirt for you…" she said, "It won't be much though. Whatever we could salvage."
He appeared lost in his thoughts. But of course he was – after so much he'd lost in a single day.
Miku ruffled through the bags trying to find clean clothing before her hand bumped into her own precious artifact. 'Still intact,' she thought to herself, 'I must preserve it.'
She pulled out a fresh black shirt and handed it over to Kaito so he might change. As he did so, she took another cursory glance through their supplies. "We don't have a lot of food," she said. She walked over to a small cabinet and opened it up, finding a small pot, some spoons, and stacked up cans of soup. They barely had any dust on them – which meant this place hadn't been abandoned for long. "Well, the owner of this cabin planned ahead! There's plenty of soup in here. We should take these with us, we don't know how long we'll be out there."
"I… I promise to do my part, Miku."
"I know you will."
She returned to the bags and began to take her weapons off – this far out she wouldn't need to be so heavily armed in the evening. She looked her own pistol over and the first kill she'd ever made jumped into her consciousness. She could still remember the man's face as it contorted in pain… the way his body crumpled as death took him…
She shot because she knew she had a fraction of a second before she was shot herself – and if she died, Kaito would die with her.
Even with that justification in her mind, it frightened her to know she'd finally crossed that line. 'Am I no better than the rest of them now?' she thought as she recalled her training, 'So many of people died today because of me…'
Kaito had killed. Was it because she'd pushed him over finally? Or had the otherwise peaceful prince found enough motivation?
'The only one among us that refused to arm himself was… Gakupo…'
Even as they'd begged him to understand the depth of the mission. That his life was just as much at stake as theirs. Luka had called him a coward, and her words seemed to briefly wound him before he steeled up again – he was a doctor, he could not end a life.
'But that also means… if he lives, he's the only one among us that won't have to grapple with this reality every day.'
Miku doubted she would ever forget that poor soldier's face.
She stopped fussing with the bags as her weary body began to work at her. "I'm sure you're tired," she said to Kaito.
She turned to the bed and he was already laying down, facing the wall, his shoes lying on the floor.
She swallowed nervously. Even after the kiss in the mountains, the passionate words… she still felt nervous trying to approach him as an equal.
As her lover.
She pulled off her shoes and walked over to the bed, trying to stay calm even as her nerves piled up. She sat down on the mattress, waiting to see if he would say anything to stop her. He didn't seem to move.
She reached out her hand and lightly stroked his shoulder. Wanting to somehow force out the pain he still carried inside of him. She wished she could think of the right words, but Miku had never been in love… she didn't know what she was to say to him…
Slowly, Kaito raised his hand up and touched hers. "I should be glad that… that they're gone…" he said so quietly, "That every evil they've committed is avenged… but… I… I can't stop myself from mourning them… from wanting a better end to it all… from wishing somehow… they weren't really… that they…"
His voice began to break and Miku slipped closer to him, lying down at his side and embracing him from behind. "Kaito, you loved them. You can mourn losing something you loved even after everything that's happened."
She felt his hands fold over her arms and grip them tightly, like he needed Miku's embrace just to hold himself together. "From today forth… I'm no longer a Prince…" he vowed, "I'll never wear that cursed mantle again…"
He rolled over on the bed slightly, just enough that he could look into her eyes. "From now on… all I want to do is live for you."
Miku's heart pounded so hard, was this what love was really supposed to feel like? This thing stolen away from her, this forbidden emotion, sparking every one of her nerves as he slipped his arms around her and she crawled up to him…
The two of them kissed, and Miku realized she'd never felt happier than in this moment… as though every one of their wretched days melted away from the strength of this kiss, this embrace, the warmth of their bodies together…
She never wanted it to stop…
Meiko tried to balance the white-haired man draped over her shoulders as his breathing grew ever more shallow as they trudged through the snowy gorge. "I only thought Nordland got snow this lousy," she cracked, watching Dex's tired eyes as she kept moving him forward.
'Gumi left on the boat… she's alive… that's all that matters…'
Blood soaked his shirt from the bullet wound he'd taken. Meiko had tried her best to patch it up, but she wasn't a doctor. From the way he was having trouble moving, she suspected the injury was far worse than it looked. Right now her best hope was to at least get him out of the cold – he'd told her of a passage through the gorge that would be out of the snow, used by the Loyalists for covert scouting operations. Even though she was wearing warm clothing, the relentless snow wasn't helping.
She finally spied the opening in the canyon wall. "See! There's your cavern! Now let's get out of this rotten weather and light a fire, eh?
She tried to keep his spirits up. It was all she had.
As the two walked through the cavern, Dex's strength seemed to flag and Meiko almost fell over as she suddenly felt all of his weight against her at once. "Okay, you need to rest? Not a bad plan!" she said.
She set Dex down along the wall, throwing her small backpack on the ground and pulling out the only blanket she had, wrapping him up in it. "Just stay comfortable, I'll get a fire going."
She wandered around and gathered up whatever scraps of debris or withered plants she could find that looked like it could burn. Pulling out a match in her pack, her hands touched the matches and she felt relief they were still dry. She lit the small pile and relaxed a little as the warmth began to take her. "Daina…"
Meiko perked up at hearing Dex finally speaking. "I'm… I'm never going to see… Daina…"
"Yes you will. You'll go to Westheim with us. You'll find what's left."
She wanted to reassure him, even as she began to accept that he knew as well as she did that his time was limited. She scooted over closer to him – he didn't deserve to be alone now.
"I… let them… talk me into… horrible crimes… I shouldn't ever touch her again…"
Meiko didn't know what he was talking about, just the news about the Loyalists' violent attacks on civilian installations. She guessed he might have been behind at least one of them.
But he was dying right now because he'd used his own body to shield her from the bullets of an attacker he'd killed in the same instant. And then Meiko had hid under his body, playing dead, as the last of the planes swept over to find any survivors. Only once the buzzing from the engines died down did she dare move on, trying to stay out of sight of the newcomers with Emerald Dawn's uniforms. Hence the sidetrip through the gorge. It's not as if she had much choice, the bridge had been blown up. The most direct route was gone.
At the time she thought it a great lark that Dex had managed to use his "non-lethal" injuries to fake his death. But that was before he started having trouble walking. Before he seemed to be losing awareness of his surroundings. Before the breathing problems started.
"This might be a bit disrespectful, but the way I see it… those bastards got was coming to them. So don't beat yourself up over it."
Dex didn't smile, though he made a rough coughing sound like he was trying to laugh. "They… they… they only wanted to kill their son after all this time… I don't even know why… but… this is right. I took all those lives, I go out saving one…"
"No, you're not going to die!"
"T-take… the ring… give it to her… so she knows…"
"Some kind of engagement ring? A family heirloom?"
When Dex didn't answer, Meiko looked into his face and saw his eyes staring straight ahead like glass, unblinking. She pressed two fingers along his neck, seeking a pulse or signs of breathing.
None.
"Dammit… whatever you they made you do… you didn't deserve to go like that…"
She wiped a few tears from her eyes as she pondered the unfairness of it all. The King and Queen of Estmarch were dead, but it didn't save this man's life. She barely knew his name before he joined her in a suicide mission to save the life of the Prince of a nation that was enemy to her own.
Did he even know who she was before he died? Heard her songs on a record or over the radio? What of the people she'd killed? Did they wonder if the woman shooting at them was the same glamorous singer who wanted to fill their hearts with love?
When her country asked her to be a spy, she had no illusions that it might not involve her taking lives or giving her own. She'd been trained to kill straw targets, knowing some day they could be real people.
But until today… she hadn't really had to commit to that. Could she ever step out onto a stage again with so much death on her hands?
She picked up Dex's lifeless arm and pried off a small silver band on his right hand. "I… I hope this is the right one…" she murmured, "I can't give you a burial here… but I'll make sure they know where to find you."
A simple inscription was carved into the inside of the ring. "To my wolf. Love, Diana."
She briefly rifled through his coat. Left alone with the corpse of a man that would never see the person he loved again, she tried to beat back the fears that the woman she loved would never return to her either. She pulled out a few personal more bullets, his pistol, and a pocket watch bearing what looked like a noble house's crest. She put them with her own things, then checked his coat one more time to ensure she had everything she would need. It felt sick and wrong to be taking his things, but with him gone… anything he had to increase her chances of survival would be necessary.
Once she confirmed to herself that Dex no longer possessed anything she needed for herself, she pulled the blanket away from him, slipped off his coat, and draped it over him like a funeral shroud.
Moving away from him and closer to her makeshift fire, Meiko placed the blanket back inside the bag. She only wanted to stay here long enough to warm up… then keep moving. Reaching into her own red coat, she pulled out a cigarette and lit it up.
Dex was gone. She was alive. It wasn't right or fair, she thought, but it was the state of things.
'I'll find him… I'll make sure he lives… because the last thing Uralia needs is any more maniacs like them in charge of so much as a pasture let alone an empire.'
She just wanted a peaceful life with Gumi. If she had to go so far as to plant someone on the throne of a foreign empire to make that happen, then so be it.
She huddled close, trying to soak in the warmth and ignore the corpse next to her. She wished Gumi was with her, someone to hold and comfort her when she needed it the most…
The steady churning of the boat engine and the dull throbbing in her face lulled Luka back out of unconsciousness. The next sensation was the strong smell of mold and rust. She tried to open her eyes, but she could only manage opening one of them. Trying to take in her surroundings, she realized she'd been placed on a rickety bunkbed that was bolted to the wall, the filthy sheets and her thick black coat the only defense she had from the cold. She touched a hand to her face and felt the bandages along one side. Further observation showed the early dawn light from outside of a porthole.
She could make out another metallic bunk across from her with someone sleeping in it… someone with purple hair…
'Is he… asleep?'
That seemed strange for the doctor to slumber through caring for a patient. In the haze before she'd assumed she died, she could recall him singing to her. She'd grasped onto the melody to try and give her the strength not to die, but eventually her body had grown too weak.
But what had happened to Gakupo?
'He sang for me… no, he was doing something else… I remember… a needle in my arm? Wait, was he giving me his own blood!?'
She tried to stand up, and almost fell over – she thought she'd grabbed for the side of the bed, but her hand misjudged the distance. Gingerly, she took another attempt, finally getting a grip on one of the rickety metal bars and standing up once more. That was when the dizziness hit her and she held onto the bar for dear life.
Eventually the wave passed and Luka made one more valiant attempt to walk across the floor. This time she managed to stay upright and she hobbled over to the bed to check on her doctor. When she wandered closer, she gasped at seeing how pale he'd become. "You… you idiot, how much blood did you give me?!"
Even though Luka had made no attempt to modulate her voice, the doctor didn't seem to wake up from it. She leaned down and touched her fingertips to his wrist to check for a pulse. Once she found it, she felt some relief – he hadn't died for her.
She sat down on the side of his bed, trying to take everything in. In one fell swoop, what little she'd lived for had disappeared. She'd dedicated so much of her life to revenge that it felt cruel to lose it to someone who didn't even understand why they had to die. She'd lost her last purpose in still being alive…
'Where does that leave me? What do I have left?'
She watched Gakupo sleeping for a few more moments.
"You idiot, you almost died for me, didn't you?" she whispered, "Why would anyone do that? My life… isn't worth that much…"
She heard footsteps from the upper deck and saw the green-haired spy walking down. What was her name… Gummy? No, Gumi. She noticed Luka on Gakupo's bed and acknowledged her with a small tilt of her head. "How long have we been out?" Luka asked.
"Most of a day."
She looked over to the sleeping doctor. "I don't get him… I told him not to do that! That he'd just die and we'd have two corpses! But he didn't listen. What a reckless man."
Gumi brusquely handed Luka a small canteen. "Driving a boat in a snowstorm is no small task, but it did give us some fresh water."
She gulped the water down greedily, as if she'd barely been aware of hunger or thirst until after she awoke. "Do we have any food?" Luka asked as she set the canteen down.
"Smoked meat. That's it. "
"Then I'll take it."
She'd survived on worse.
Gumi left for the upper deck where Luka guessed the food was and she was alone again.
"…not…. less…"
"Eh?"
She thought she heard someone speaking and she glanced down to see Gakupo straining to keep his eyes open. "I… I said… you're… not… worthless…"
It sounded like every word he was uttering took all of his strength to form. Then she realized he'd heard her talking out loud and she looked away in embarrassment. "You should have told me you were awake," she huffed.
"I was trying to…" he said, and she heard a weak laugh, "It just took some time."
She shuffled along the bed. "She was right though. You shouldn't have risked it. If there's an emergency now and you're too sick to pick up a surgical knife, Gumi could die too."
It only made sense to her to leave the weaker people behind. Especially someone that was as good as dead.
Someone that had betrayed him time and again.
Someone that couldn't be trusted.
Someone without use.
"I couldn't… let one more person die… when I already changed their fate…"
"Fate…"
Now he was using the word she'd been obsessing over. "I told you to fight for him… to enter a battlefield… and I stayed behind… like a coward…"
That was what she'd called him before the battle had begun. A coward. Even as he tried to protect her while they fled the field of combat, he wouldn't shoot or take lives. His soul was clean – unlike her own.
She passed him the canteen, still half full of water. "I don't know enough about treating blood loss," Luka said quietly, "But you need water. And food. Do you have enough strength to hold this?"
She watched his hand begin to shake as he tried to lift it up. "Okay. I'll give it to you. Don't get used to being pampered though, it's only because you're injured."
His hand rested at his side as Luka gently tipped the canteen into his mouth, watching carefully for any signs that he was choking or unable to swallow. But he managed to drain what was left of the water with little trouble. She took the canteen back from him. He did look a little better now that he'd hydrated, but she suspected he'd need more than that.
"Gumi's bringing back some smoked meat. You'll want to eat some. You need the iron in it to replace the blood you lost."
"Heh… I'm truly lucky…to have such an attentive nurse…"
That was when Luka finally realized that under her black coat she was still wearing her Crimson Shield nurses' uniform. "I… I did actually know a little bit of medicine before posing as a nurse… none of our patients were truly in danger, you know."
But she knew about it only with the intent to treat her own wounds as a Cendrillon.
Instead she'd saved other people's lives.
This was her dichotomy, wasn't it? What he'd tried to point out to her when she'd turned against him.
Then this would be a test for her.
She would make sure he survived the sacrifice he'd made for her.
If she could do that… well, then maybe she deserved a chance to live.
The chilly morning and thick snow on the ground made Kaito regret leaving the warm cabin behind, but he and Miku had little choice. The storm had finished, and they had to take advantage of the visibility to press through the mountains. Miku had retrieved a few valuables from their last stop – a journal recording the observations made of enemy movements in the mountains, as well as a map of the mountain paths they were traversing through. He was leaving the navigation to her – she seemed quite comfortable using a compass to plot their way forward.
As happy as he was with the idea of running away from being the Prince, of letting that persona stay officially dead and buried, they'd had to confront the reality that their only safe path was still in the direction of Westheim. The only safe border passage for them due to the nation's official neutrality. He would have to cross into the country his beloved uncle lived in and hide from his sight, allowing the poor man to believe his beloved nephew to be dead…
'I'm sorry, Uncle Naoto. If there was another way…'
But he still knew in his heart this path was correct. He wasn't the leader so many had died for – he didn't deserve their respect or praise. Nor did his family have any right to lead. No, the people of Estmarch could surely find someone amongst their own people to take the lead.
'No! Why am I still thinking of this business? I should be thinking of the future.'
He and Miku had fallen asleep talking dreamily of faraway places he'd never seen, trying to come up with the one they thought would give them the best chance to start over. If he didn't mind crossing a massive ocean, he would be nearly anonymous in the Union of Columbia. While no doubt they would be aware of the news of yet another war, the vast distance between the continents would render it merely another piece of foreign news they needn't concern themselves with.
The idea of sailing across an ocean fascinated him – so much water all around him… maybe he'd learn to swim before they set sail…
"Miku, when we reach our final destination, we will need some form of employment to survive, won't we?" he asked.
"That's usually how this works," she said in a joking tone, "Nobody gives out free room and board to complete strangers!"
"Ah, what a shame I wasted my life learning court manners instead of a useful trade!" he said, "I can shoot, cook, and play the piano. Maybe I should just be a cook?"
"Well your meals in the Rhune were more than passable, I'm sure there'd be work for you!"
Miku lowered her head and pulled out the map, tapping a place on it and putting it away. "What will you do in Columbia?" he asked.
"I know a lot of things that… ah… I'd rather not be doing again…" she said awkwardly, "Oh, but I can clean and cook. Maybe I could be a housekeeper again."
He tried to imagine Miku as a child, like she'd told him, huddling in the ashes after working to exhaustion. "I'd hate for you to have to live like that again…" he said sadly.
"It wouldn't be the same!" she said in a hurry, "I'd be working for a living after all! Getting paid, so I could keeping spending my life with the person I love. A simple life… but a happy one."
She was so much more open with him now that they'd been honest about their feelings. She had no more secrets with him – was her grappling with her feelings one of the reasons she'd been so silent before?
Or was she worried about confessing her love to a prince?
'All the better for me to get rid of it then. I can't be a real prince to anyone, and I'd rather not have an obstacle like that keeping me away from her.'
What did being a prince ever truly mean anyway? He'd had so many ideals in his mind, all of them shaped by his parents. Giving faith to the downhearted, strength to the weak, comfort to the lonely. But what had he amounted to? An idol that could be toppled to allow further evils to seep into the kingdom and tear it apart.
'No… to live with Miku, to become a simple man, I must banish these unpleasant memories. Cast them aside and live freely.'
He tried to banish the vice around closing around his heart as the last memories he had of his parents alive tried to claw at him. He tried to block out their beliefs that the kingdom would be better off without him.
'That's… that's why I'm leaving! I don't need to give up my life so long as I give up my throne…'
A low rumble sounded out in the hills and Miku's hand shot out in front of him. After a few tense moments, she removed her hand. "We need to be careful… if any of that snow is unstable…"
"… an avalanche?"
"Exactly."
She scanned out over the mountain paths. "I… I have to admit I don't know much about this… I was taught survival in cities, not… not this…"
"It's okay Miku. We'll make it."
"Our goal tonight is the cave marked on this map… I don't know what we'll find there, but it will at least be some kind of shelter."
A cave would be a step down even from the worn-down cottage, but better that then being out in the snow.
But as they marched forward, he still couldn't banish the dreadful events of the day before as they kept trying to pull him back, to that moment on the side of the cliff, to the second he considered jumping and vanishing into an abyss…
'Why? Why can't I let it go… and just be happy with Miku?'
The sound of the buzzing of air planes above caused Luka to pause as she sat with Gakupo. She knew it didn't matter who possessed the planes - be they Estmarch or Nordlandian, they would still consider this rogue boat an enemy. She heard Gumi throttle down the motor and her stomping feet up above as she was no doubt putting out the lights on the boat.
After a few tense moments, the engines ceased and Luka was not greeted by the sounds of bullets. 'Good. I'm not confident I could hit a target right now.'
The world felt as though it had an odd flatness to it now. A curiosity overcame her and she looked around the room for some kind of mirror. She found a rusty, ruddy one hanging from one of the walls, over a small bucket. 'Maybe the person who used to own this vessel took to shaving in that,' she thought to herself.
She gripped the bed and pushed herself up with care, but now she had a better idea of how her uncovered eye would perceive the distance ahead of her. She kept one arm out to guide herself along the bed frame as she walked over to the mirror, but finally released it as she approached it closely.
Her hands found the ends of the bandages on her head and slowly she unwove them, being careful to not lose them to the floor and possibly infect them.
When she first saw her face, she was somewhat relieved – aside from the obvious emptiness in her eye socket, the rest of her face wasn't too badly damaged. A good-sized eye patch would cover the worst of it.
'So… I'd better get used to it,' she thought to herself, 'He couldn't save my other eye. I'll have to learn to shoot all over again. What a bother.'
But why did she need to shoot? To kill?
'Because that's all I've ever done.'
"It was a pity I couldn't do more for your vision," she heard Gakupo comment, "But I can assure you, you're still a lovely young lady."
Quickly Luka tied up the bandages again – how was it he always found her in her moments of pure weakness?!
"You could start letting me know when you're awake," Luka said curtly, "At least then I could get you some water."
She walked over to the table and tried to reach for the canteen, cursing when her fingers slipped passed it. She finally placed her hand on the table, giving her a point of reference as she reached out for it a second time. Her fingers curled around the canteen and she felt a little bit clever at having worked this out.
Walking back over to Gakupo's bed, she sat down as she felt a familiar wave of dizziness sweep through her. She too had lost blood, but unlike her new "patient", she'd gotten some of it back. She held the canteen up to Gakupo. "Do you think you can hold it or do you need me to do it?"
His hands still shook as he tried to reach up for it. She sighed and gently pressed them back down, holding the canteen up to his lips. "You'll get there. One step at a time."
When he seemed done, she pulled it away and screwed the cap closed. She hoped there was more water to be had soon… they were still on the ocean as far as she knew.
"Where is Gumi taking us?" he asked quietly.
"She's trying to get far enough out on the ocean to intercept Nordland communications – she thinks she knows how to get onto their channels. From what she's been picking up on the Estmarch radio channels, General Tonio is planning on an aerial assault."
She let out a long sigh. "Two tyrants die… another springs up. Both of them with the same goals. What was the point of the actions we've taken?"
Her fingers traced along the bandages on her face.
"He's still alive…"
The doctor had a point. For all the powerful enemies Kaito had… he'd survived them so far. So she hoped – as far as she knew he'd properly escaped and was still bound for Westheim, with Miku, Rin, and Len to escort him.
Though Luka's focus for now was only on Gakupo, something stirred inside of her at that knowledge. The two people who'd destroyed her life were dead, and they'd died because they couldn't allow their own son to live. Because somehow they feared him.
"Even you understood that the Prince was an obstacle."
"Because he isn't like them…" Gakupo said, "Even after shooting his way out of the castle, he still won't murder out of spite and hate. He believes in justice. In saving lives, kingdoms, hearts."
She thought to her own former masters, the Godmothers. The people who took broken girls and reshaped them around their losses. Tried to tear their hearts out until they had no recourse but to become empty tools.
Like her.
They would hate him.
He gave strength to the weak, faith to the hopeless, comfort to the lonely, asking nothing in return. He was the very anti-thesis of them.
She couldn't kill him because the humanity he showed to her briefly illuminated the shattered remnants of herself. The heart and soul and dreams she thought had burned up and been discarded in the ashes of her home.
"Then I've no doubt in my mind I'll have to deal with the Godmothers again. Not just because of their oaths… but because the Grand Godmother cannot risk his survival. Stopping the assault on Nordland will not win this war."
"Grand Godmother?"
She clenched at the blankets under her fists. "Nobody knows her identity. Most of the Cendrillons don't even know she exists because she has so many intermediaries to give her orders to them. But I rose up… she seemed to favor me. They would call me the 'true Cinderella'. Until we got Miku… the girl sheltered from the hunt."
The first time she'd met Miku she'd tried to stay unemotional as her training had taught her. But Luka was still a teenager, and Miku was barely an adolescent. She'd known something was changing. She'd silently raged at knowing her status was slipping, even as she was one of the few Cendrillons lucky enough to speak directly with Iroha herself and gain further insight.
"They were always grooming Miku for some special purpose… maybe they'd always planned on killing the Prince when the time was right. Keeping her hidden away so there was no chance of her being recognized, then slipping her in when the time was right and using her innocence as a trap. But Miku… was never truly broken. She was… stronger than I. She helped her target escape… I never gave any of mine a second thought…"
She felt Gakupo's weak hand grasp her own. She tore it away. "Stop showing me pity!" she hissed, "These are hands coated in blood! Do you know how many I destroyed to keep my place!?"
She folded her hands together, her blue-tipped fingers interlocking with each other. "How... how do you keep that vow? To do no harm? Even when it's always being tested? Even when-!"
She heard the boat motor suddenly throttle forward and she already knew what was happening. She became aware of another vessel's motor and knew it was a pursuit. She tried told bolt up, fighting the new wave of dizziness from the sudden action, and jumped into action. She put her hands out and touched the door of a cabinet, yanking it open and looking for something to defend herself with. There were just two pistols inside. She checked the chamber and found both of them loaded. She walked over to Gakupo and rested one of them near his hand. "In case… in case you need it…" she said.
She grabbed for a stair railing and headed back up on deck. "Gumi! What's the situation?" she called out.
"That boat behind us is flying a Dawn flag! They damn well know we're not on their side!"
The sound of gunfire on the boat caused the green-haired girl to duck down. "We have to take them out, if they shoot the engines, we're done for!"
"Fine… then let them catch us."
"WHAT?!"
Gumi looked her over with suspicion. "You… you're not going to turn us in, are you?! Save your skin by trading prisoners?!"
"Of course not!" Luka shouted.
Cynically, she added "Even if I were that sort… it wouldn't do any good. I'm a fleeing Cendrillon, I'm worth even less than you. But they're more suited for pursuit, and they're better armed. We're better off if we can disarm the people on that vessel."
"Oh… knock em' out and take it. I get it."
Gumi loaded her gun. "I'll pick them off when I see them…"
Luka swallowed. Yes, it would be easier but… she needed to be better now…
"Let's take them alive."
The spy looked shocked. "What do you expect to get out of that?!"
"Intelligence for one – you've only been relying on the radios. Nordland isn't coming out this far, and you still need a way to warn them."
"Do you think they'll talk?"
"It depends on who they are."
Gumi seemed to accept Luka's planning and after the next wave of gunfire she let up on the boat's acceleration, allowing it to drift in the water. She and Luka held their breath as the sound of a slightly bigger vessel and churning waves slightly rocked the unmoored vessel. The chatter Luka heard surprised her – it was Sudlandian. "What are they saying?" Gumi whispered.
"It sounds like… two of them? Yes. Two young men. They're going to search the boat to find out who was on it. And I think that's the whole crew…"
Gumi curled up inside the wall near the deck, trying to stay out of sight as she crawled into a corner. Luka did the same, listening for footsteps on the deck as she slipped under a table.
The first person to step inside was a young blonde man. He couldn't be older than 15, and his voice sounded so sweet. "I'm in the cabin!" he shouted in his own language, "Kyo, help me secure it!"
A tall, thin young man followed and again Luka was struck by his youth. She nodded to Gumi and just as the blonde caught her eye under the table, Gumi had already sprung up from her hiding place and slammed the butt of her gun at the back of his head. The blow seemed to stun him, causing him to drop his gun. "Dammit! Yuu!" he shouted as Gumi jumped onto his back, pinning his hands in place.
Luka was next, crawling out from under the desk and tripping the other blonde with a quick sweep of her leg… or she would but she missed the blow again.
"Merde!" she swore, leaping up and diving at him with her fists out.
The first few blows missed, but clearly having such a ferocious opponent was setting him off balance as he tried to get his gun out. She knew this type – a soldier not by choice, someone who had a gun dropped in his hand and was told where to shoot. She finally managed to work out how far away he was and with one kick sent his gun flying… with the second she sent him flying. She didn't have to work out how far the wall was before she was on him.
"Have some spare rope!" Gumi shouted, "I'm done with mine."
Luka caught the rope and quickly had her target's arms bound up behind his back.
"Loyalist dogs!" Kyo shouted at her, "Why don't you shoot us down like your masters?!"
"We're not Loyalists. And we're not pointless murderers either-"
The sound of a gunshot from below deck made Luka stop. She threw Kyo to the ground as she stumbled across the deck. She reached for the stair railing and grabbed it for dear life lest she go tumbling down deck. There must have been another person, of course there was another person, they wouldn't send out an armed vessel with only a gunner and a driver-
"Gakupo!" she cried out in a panic.
She saw an unconscious youth with black hair lying on the floor. Gakupo was sitting up, the still smoking pistol in his hand.
"No… you didn't…" she whispered.
The gun fell as Gakupo slipped. Luka rushed down the steps to his side. "Are you okay? Did he shoot you?"
"Heh… I pulled the blanket over my head so I'd look like a corpse…" he said. He tried smiling, but he looked downright goofy if he thought that was supposed to be charming. "Don't worry, I'm still an honest doctor… I mean, I didn't kill him, though I suppose…"
He gestured to something else on the floor and Luka realized it was an unlit lantern from the ceiling. "…I didn't exactly abide by 'do no harm.'"
She heard the young man groan. She grabbed for the chain from the fallen lantern, where she could see where Gakupo's bullet had severed it. "I thought you'd never fired a gun!" she remarked as she wrapped the chain around the man's wrists.
"You said it yourself – it's just point and shoot."
The fading sunlight worried Miku – she was certain they were still on the right path, the map had been correct so far! But as fresh snow began to fall, she was losing track of some of the landmarks. "Don't worry Kaito… I'm certain it's not much farther…"
She hated the chill setting in as the temperature kept dropping. She hated the feeling of being powerless, of her body trying to convince her to sleep in the snow. But she found the strength to keep pressing forward because if she didn't, she and Kaito would die.
She glanced back and Kaito's solemn expression worried her. His mood had been uneven all day – sometimes he would be happy and talkative… other times he would seem about to collapse into himself. The conflict in his heart had yet to cease. The evils committed against him still tried to tear him to pieces.
She looked ahead at the walls then again at the map… and she finally got a bit of hope in her. "Kaito, I think that's it! I recognize the mountain walls!"
She beckoned him to follow her forward and the two climbers began to approach the mountains when a far off rumble set Miku's heart racing. "Kaito, grab something!" she shouted.
The first thing she noticed was the snow shifting under her feet. She reached out and grabbed Kaito's hand while hanging onto a tree.
Then the wave of snow hit her and the tree slipped out of her grasp as she couldn't hold both Kaito and a tree. The two of them began to tumble and she saw the edge of a cliff. She held onto Kaito's hand as tightly as she could and reached for a stronger tree…
"Kaito! Don't let go!" she warned him.
"Miku!" he shouted, "Just let go! Please… I can't let anyone else die for me… my life isn't worth that much!"
Miku kept her grip tight on Kaito's hand lest he try and release her of his own volition. The snow eventually stopped sliding… and Kaito was still on her hand. They hadn't gone tumbling over. She'd managed to save them both.
With the danger past, she kept her grip on Kaito as she helped him to stand. She tried to get him to look at her but he wouldn't meet her eyes. She touched a gloved hand to his face in worry. "We're both alive."
"I… I know…"
As they marched the last part of their journey, entering the simple cave, Miku spied two bed rolls on the ground and a small fire pit with a small soup pot hanging over it. She was starting to understand the point of this. "Someone is using the caves and cabins to spy. We'd better be alert if we catch up to them."
She set down her things, preparing to set up the camp, before Kaito tapped her shoulder. "No. You've done everything today. Let me."
Miku took out the soup cans and the bowls as Kaito prepared the fire. She poured the condensed soup into the pot, still insisting on doing something as the flames began to kick up. She took a seat on top of a bedroll and waited until Kaito sat down next to her.
After a few moments of silence, she finally decided she couldn't let Kaito's panicked declaration pass. "Your life means everything… to a lot of people. Not just to me."
He winced. "I don't understand why. I've done nothing of use as a Prince. But so many put their faith in me… or in my demise."
"Because… because you inspire them. You inspire us. You make us want to become better. To reach past what we've been told to be, to give ourselves meaning."
"You've almost died for me countless times. Is that the meaning you want?"
When the journey began, Miku did yearn for death in Kaito's name, to absolve her of guilt. "I want my life to matter."
How much she'd loved planning with Kaito to live across the ocean, in a faraway land, pretending to be two normal people in love building a life together. But deep in her heart, she knew this wasn't what should be. No matter how badly she wanted it.
And she knew deep in her heart… that Kaito didn't want it either.
"It's not just me. Kaito, when you left with the Loyalists, I was prepared to go on a suicide mission if I had to. I didn't want your parents to win. I didn't want their wickedness to consume you the way it consumed everyone else. I told the others… that… none of them had to come. What the stakes could be."
"Every one of them wanted to help you. A slum doctor, a broken nurse, an underworld criminal, two enemy spies, and a traitorous assassin. Every one of them thought you were worth fighting for."
She felt Kaito's hand over hers and she leaned into him. "And it was a terrorist who threw open the gates so we could save you from execution."
"Did they truly believe that deeply in the son of monsters?" he asked.
"Every one. Including a woman who lived every moment of her life dreaming of destroying you. You talked her out of that. You… you freed her."
Kaito was silent for a few more moments. Finally she felt his hand over hers and he finally turned to meet her eyes. "Miku… every moment I keep trying to think only of you… I.. I can't do it. I can't just running away from it. I want to live just for you but… even if I'm a terrible Prince… I'm the only one left."
This was the Kaito she knew. "I don't know how I'll accomplish this but… if they did all die for me, I… I have to make it count. I have to make it to Westheim, I have to set Estmarch free. I have to end the war!"
She pulled off her gloves and stroked his face lightly. "I know. I always knew."
Something about the peace in his face suggested Kaito was letting go of a burden, even as he placed another onto his shoulders. "Wasn't it you who suggested we run?"
And in that moment, Miku had meant it. She only wanted for Kaito to be happy, and she wanted to be happy with him.
But…
"In that moment… you needed to hear that you had a choice. So when you chose justice… when you chose to be a Prince… it was because you wanted it. Not because your life was bound to fate."
As Kaito leaned in to kiss her, Miku felt a few tears escape as she bade goodbye to that simple future in her heart.
A/N:
LOL, I'm not even going to apologize for the delays anymore, y'all just expect them, right? I hit a part of Cendrillon that I realized was a little less well defined and it took longer to sort out how to get from the last chapter's major event into what I consider the "final act" of the story. Also I yet again have split the cast, which I swear won't be happening so much in the next story I do (yes I'm planning out the next one!)
Yep. We're on the home stretch. Though I suppose "home stretch" is a bit vague because I'm not entirely secure on announcing a chapter count (though hopefully I don't run out of song lyric titles before then!)
So I did try to look into the medical state of things like Luka's injury to work out how she could take a shot to the face and not die, and yes, if the bullet deflected off her bone, it would mess her face up and take the eye with it, but it wouldn't insta-kill her as long as her brain was left intact. Now Gakupo I am definitely winging here, it hasn't been nearly enough time for him to give blood again, but I consider it somewhat plausible given how well he was doing running around on trains and such a mere day after giving a pint to Kaito ;)
As I lamented on DeviantArt, what I planned to be a more Gakupo centric arc seems to have switched into a Luka arc, which is atypical for me. On the other hand, I always knew Gakupo was destined to have a "slow burn" and his key conflicts would inevitably not come into play until he had to actually have his morals tested. Luka meanwhile is a huge ball of conflict, so she's always moving from one to the next.
Song Credits: Uh, so I forgot to do this last chapter, and I can't believe I forgot this, but Kaito was singing Flower Tail by yuukiss in the flashback with his grandmother! As for this chapter, Gakupo was singing "Miracle of Life" by ROY, and the translation was done by Gakupo Goddess Narumo. So happy birthday Gakupo, it seems I'm celebrating a lot of Vocaloid birthdays this year by inflicting near-death injuries onto them.