clary*
I woke up to find mine and Jace's hair mixed and tickling my nose. I tried to pull away from the feeling but I felt my hair being pulled and saw that he was laying on it. I took a deep breath then yanked my hair out from under his head. I knew he had a theoretically big head but that thing must have been heavy judging by the sting on my skull. I walked to the bathroom and brushed my teeth then put on some makeup. I got dressed and decided that I needed food. I shook Jace to try to wake him up but he didn't budge. I shook him again but he still didn't make a sound. I did the only logical thing that popped into my head and pounced on the sleeping beast and he finally groaned. damn, he's a heavy sleeper. "get up I need food" I said "can't you wait like another thirty minutes" he groaned "no if I don't have food now I will slowly dissipate into a shriveled up elderly raisin and die" I said "no dying just give me like five more minutes" he said "isn't it illegal to starve a girl to death" I say "isn't it illegal to drive a motorcycle at 16" he countered "yes but I think murder is worse" I said "alright I'm getting up" he groaned. he pushed himself off the bed with as much drama as he could and then disappeared into the bathroom. he resurfaced a few minutes later and grabbed a set of clothes then disappeared and reappeared again. he took my hand and led me to his bike and shoved a helmet on my head. I shoved one on his in return then we took off to the nearest diner. I had been here when I was little. the diner was called four corners and it was always packed but today seemed to be slower. we sat and ordered we talked about random things for a while until a familiar head of pitch black hair and eyes to match walked into the diner with the bell ringing behind him. his dark eyes fell on me and a look of surprise and adoration covered his angular face "Clare?" he asked looking for reassurance "Seb?" I countered. he grinned and suddenly I was scooped out of the booth and into his arms. I wrapped my arms around his neck and grinned ear to ear. "oh my god I missed you so much" he said "what happened? why are you in Carolina? what about Jonathan? he hasn't hurt you has he?" he bombards me with these questions and I let out a sad smile. "sit down," I say as I feel tears prick my eyes but I don't let them fall "we can talk about that later. for now, this is Jace, my boyfriend, we are here on a trip" I tell him. "boyfriend? I don't know you man but with that title, I automatically don't like you" he says to Jace. "I'm sorry man but I might have to kill before we leave" he adds. Jace's face contorts into one of an odd combination of fear and confidence. "no he won't he's gonna sit here, have a waffle and talk like a civilized person" I say to both him and Jace. seb orders and we talk about his college life for a while. he asks Jace a few questions. some of himself others that had to do with me and him that embarrass me. when we get our food Seb leans in close to my ear "does he know?" he asks in a whisper. I nod and take a bite of my waffle. "so how is everything over there then I know Jonny boy probably isn't happy" he says "actually I left. I'm living above Rafael's bar" I tell him "and you didn't think that was something I should know" he half shouts "well I wasn't quite ready to explain the circumstances just yet" I half-shout back. "what could have happened that hasn't already" he shouts I am about to shout everything that happened and everything that I felt and had to go through when he left until Jace squeezes my hand that he had been holding under the table reminding me that we were in public. I growl "follow us to our hotel I can't talk to you here," I say. Jace pays the guy for our food and insists on paying for Sebastian as well. we ride his bike back to the motel and Seb follows close behind. we pull up in front of our door and go inside. I pull Seb in and I set us both on the bed. " I'm going to give you guys some privacy," Jace says "no because I haven't been completely honest with you so you need to hear this too," I tell him. I wait for him to sit down. "the night after you left for college I had gone to work and a customer had ripped my shirt some. valintine saw and beat me worse than normal and took me to the attic. when I got downstairs that night Jonathan had heard everything and thought I had been sleeping with someone. he beat me and then dragged me into his room and he...he hurt me" the tears started to form when I started getting into that part. "he said I was his and that I wasn't allowed to be shacking up with anyone. when he was done he made sure I knew what I was. I turned and pulled off my shirt and moved my hair to reveal the word 'whore' that had been carved into my back almost 4 years ago. I heard a gasp escape my brother. Jace had already seen them all but he looked very angry. "why did you lie Clare" Jace asked "I don't know it just felt better to pretend it wasn't happening for so long" I said. "why didn't you tell me?! I could have done something. I could've come gotten you sooner" he told me "I'm sorry I just didn't want to be a burden on you," I said "clary you could never be a burden I would have gotten you sooner but I wanted to be able to afford to give you whatever the hell you wanted. I was actually going to go get you next week because I got this high paid gig at the hospital" he said "well I'm fine now and it doesn't matter its in the past. I have Jace and new friends and I've got a steady job and a roof. and I've still got you. I don't need anything else" I tell him "now I think we should all go chill on the beach," I say. "that sounds like a great idea" Seb agreed "definitely" Jace added. Seb goes out to his car to grab his trunks and leaves me and Jace alone. he looks me in the eyes but I tear away my gaze. I'm too embarrassed and ashamed to look at him. how can he stand to look at me after everything I just told him. I grab my bathing suit and a big t-shirt and go to the bathroom. I shut the door and peel off my shirt. Jace comes in and I cover myself discreetly with my arms. "clary stop. look at me" I look at him in the mirror "you know what I mean Clare" I sigh and turn around towards him and look at his chest. he huffs "Clare nothing that you just told me changes my feelings for you. I still care about you" he gently takes my hands and moves my arms off of my stomach revealing the new daisy chain tattoo and a couple small scars. "and you still look just as beautiful as you did before" he says. I give him a small smile and look him in the eyes through my eyelashes. "and if you're going to look at me like that I'm going to have to beg you to keep a shirt on. "oh and why is that Mr. harondale?" I tease him. "because when you see something you like your first reaction is to touch it. and sometimes its too hard to stop yourself" he says seductively in my ear while he runs his hands down my sides. I shiver and look at him again. "if Seb walks in and sees that we are in the bathroom together I think the last thing you will be worried about is keeping your hands off me" I tease again. he smirks and plants a slow passionate kiss on my lips "Seb can't stay forever" he says. he smirks again and then leaves the bathroom. I grin to myself and change into my all black bikini and pull on my t-shirt. I exit the bathroom and find Jace and Seb in there trunks and t-shirts. we walk down to the beach with a bag of towels and some sunscreen. there's only a couple and an old man tanning on the beach so we take the opportunity to go swimming for a bit so we don't get a ton of weird looks. we all have enough scars to get stared at and none of us wanted to deal today. when a family pulls up on the beach. we all get out of the water. the woman gave us a sympathetic look while her husband glared at us. the children didn't even notice because they started a sand castle as soon as they reached the sand. I pulled on my t-shirt and so did the boys. we decided to go back to the hotel after we had a couple of drinks from the 'water' bottles Jace fixed. hung around and joked. Jace and I smoked some of Seb's weed that he couldn't smoke because of his gig at the hospital. we got kind of high and hungry so we ordered a pizza. we devoured that and ordered another one. when Jace went to the bathroom I decided to take the opportunity to get myself a little treat. "hey Seb can you do me a favor?" I whisper "what," he asks "can you get me a pack of smokes from the gas station next door?" I ask "sure but why are you whispering?" he asks "because I don't want Jace to know yet. some people don't like smokers" I tell him "ok" he says. Jace walks out and I go to the bathroom. I can't wait I haven't had a cigarette since we got here.
Jace*
I sit on the bed and wish to god that I thought this guy wasn't going to get mad when I asked him this "hey man can you do me a huge favor?" I whisper "sure what is it?" he asks. "can you get me a pack of cigarettes from next door and not tell your sister?" I ask. he laughs lightly "yea man what kind?" he asks still laughing "Marlboros. the gold pack" I say. he laughs a little harder. he gets up and I hand him some money. he leaves the room just as Clary enters. she seems happier now. what is with her and her brother. she's grinning ear to ear for no reason and he was laughing about cigarettes. she sits in my lap and I plant a soft kiss on her lips. she grins even wider and that makes me smile. I hear the door open and Jon has two cartons of cigarettes instead of one pack. he throws the gold carton at us and laughs "the funniest part of the whole thing is that you both smoke the same cigarettes" he opens the other carton and pulls out a pack of menthol lights. gross. I pull a pack from our carton and open it up. I put one in my mouth and grab a lighter that Sebastian had tossed on the small table between both beds clary takes a cigarette from the pack and take the lighter from me when I'm done with it. I put the cigarette to my lips and it's been so long I almost choke
Clary*
I inhale deeply and almost choke because of how long it has been. I'm glad that I know Jace accepts even the tiniest things about me. I swear this man is perfect. how did he end up asking me out? I guess I'll never know. we chill for a while and Seb went and picked up lunch. I don't know where he went but the food is amazing. after lunch, we decide that sitting in a hotel room all day sucks so we go out. we shop a little and Jace and I make out a little in the dressing room while Seb looked at flip flops since he broke his walking into the store. Jace and I were connected to each other's lips and moving in harmony when Seb burst in the door. "guys you couldn't wait until we got back to the hotel where this stuff is supposed to happen" he said. Jace smirked at me and I rolled my eyes Jace let me go from his grip on my ass and I landed gently on my feet. we went back to the motel after we ate supper at Amos Mosquitos. we decided to make a bonfire and we drank a little other than Seb who drank a lot claiming that he didn't party in college so he had to party somewhere. eventually, I asked Jace to take him back to the motel while I put out the fire and got our stuff together which was scattered all over the beach. when he left I started picking up our stuff and put out the fire. I walked down the beach and saw people hunting for crabs and couples trying to find the most romantic spot. I reached our motel which was right next to the pier and saw an uncomfortably familiar figure. I ignored the odd feeling in my stomach and kept walking. when I reached the first step my bag was yanked off my shoulder and I was pushed to the ground. I felt the cement steps scrape the skin from my knees and palms. "Clarissa dear. we need to have a serious conversation. now when you ran away I wasn't very happy at first but then I realized I had one less mouth to feed" he said. like you ever fed me. he kicked me and I fell to my side. "so I didn't bother looking for you. but your brother, on the other hand, is trying to track you down. if you let him find you" his foot connected with my nose but it didn't break. he was going easy. "I will personally give you the worst punishment you could ever have" his foot connected with my mouth. "then I will kill your other brother, then your little lover boy right in front of your eyes" another blow to my face that would definitely blacken my eye. "then when your tears are still black from mourning those people. I will kill you too" he says delivering a blow to my side. "are we clear?" he asks as he digs his heel into my hand. I didn't answer at first because I was too busy yelping in pain "are. we. clear?" he asks one last time. "yes sir" I yelp. he chuckles and he walks away leaving me on the cement. I don't move for a while trying to make sure Jace and Sebastian are asleep. as I walk back to the room I run into Jace and immediately look to the floor trying to hide the blood that was pouring from my nose and mouth. "Clare what took you so long?" he asks with a grin. "hey whats wrong?" he asks. "nothing," I say still looking at the ground. Jace glances at my shirt and his face hardened at the sight. I glance in the same direction and see that blood had stained it. he hooks a finger under my chin and I know the blood had come off in his hand. he tips my head up until I'm looking into his eyes. I force them down in shame. "what happened?" he repeats. "is Seb asleep?" I ask him. "he should be but he could be eating the leftovers from dinner," Jace says "Clare, please tell me what happened," he says. "Valentine was on the beach. he doesn't want me to come back home. he said if I let Jonathan find me that he would kill you and Seb" I said. I didn't care if he killed me but I had to make sure he knew that Valentine was coming after him if I was found. "come on. lets clean you up" he says. he takes the bag from my shoulder and shrugs it onto his own then he takes my hand and leads me back to the room. we reach the door and walk in. Seb was still awake chowing down on Jace's leftovers. I hide behind Jace while he drops the bag next to our bed and takes me to the bathroom. he pulls out the first aid kit from under the sink and he pulls out the supplies he needs. "I want the whole story," he says while wiping away the blood from my chin and cheek. " I was on my way back to the room and he caught me from behind and he started telling me how glad he was that I left and he said Jonathan wasn't happy about it. he said that if I let Jonathan bring me home that he would kill you and Sebastian in front of me and then kill me" I told him. I didn't cry or even feel anything. I knew some of those threats were empty and I hadn't felt anything when it came to Valentine's words in a long time. Jace cleaned my face and got a plastic bag and went to fill it with ice in the machine down the walkway. while he was gone I looked at myself in the mirror. I had a busted lip and my nose and eye were already forming bruises. I sighed in frustration. I had let him hurt me again and I didn't try to fight back. I didn't even care. I deserved what he had done and a lot more. why would he hate me so much if I wasn't a terrible person? if my own father can't love me how could anyone else. how can I even love myself? before I can ponder this anymore Jace is back with the ice. Jace gives me a sympathetic smile and sits me back down on the toilet lid. he holds the bag of ice that he wrapped in paper towels to my right eye and I hold one to my bloody hand. the thoughts flooded my mind again and a tear slipped from my eye. Jace reached up and wiped it from my cheek and pulled me down onto his lap. I took the ice pack from him and held it to my eye then put the other one in the sink and I cried silently but I refused to let him know so I buried my face in his chest and forced myself not to sob. eventually, Jace carried me to our bed and we lay down with the ice still to my eye. Jace wrapped his arms around me and I snuggled into his chest. "you ok?" he asks "yea" I answer in a surprisingly steady voice. I put the ice pack on the nightstand and snuggle back into Jace. eventually, his breath evens out and I gently crawl away. I grab my smokes and go outside. I plop into one of the plastic chairs and light a cigarette. I sit there smoking and thinking about how unlovable I am. then my thought travel to my brother and how much he said he was trying to do for me. he was trying to make sure my life would be perfect when he got me out. and then I think of Jace. I think its too early for what we both feel to be love but I know he cares about me. if he didn't why would he say he does, why would he patch me up when I looked like shit. my bad thoughts were washed away and I finished my cigarette. I went back inside and snuggled back up to Jace. he wrapped his arms around me instinctively and I smiled to myself. fuck valentine.