Rating: K+

Timeframe: post Thriller Bark

Spoilers: None that I can think of

"Robin, I am so sorry! Those shitty zombies took the entire food supply, and now it's gone. If I could, I'd give the assholes a taste of my shoe!" Sanji cried.

"It's fine, really. We'll get some more at the next island," Robin assured the distressed cook.

"It is not fine! We've just finished a huge battle, and you need to keep your strength up. Without it, it's…it's a travesty!"

"Sanji, it's just coffee. I'm sure I'll survive," Robin said with a chuckle before leaving the kitchen. Behind her, Sanji continued to mutter what he'd like to do to 'those shitty zombies who stole his precious Robin's coffee' as he banged pots and pans together, prepping for the lunch meal.

The archeologist went back out onto the deck. The crew had left behind the fog of Thriller Bark and was headed toward the famous Fishman Island. Their new musician was playing an upbeat tune while some of the younger members danced. It was a perfect day to just sit and read.

Perfect, except for the distressing fact that there was no coffee to be found on the entire ship. After leaving Sanji's presence, Robin allowed a small frown to grace her features. According to Nami, the crew had several days sailing before reaching the Red Line, and she had privately admitted to Robin that she had no idea how to actually get to Fishman Island. Franky's ingenuity aside, ten thousand meters was ten thousand meters and as a general rule ships that were in good condition weren't supposed to go that far below the waves.

"Hey Robin!" Luffy shouted, interrupting her thoughts, "Look what Brook can do. Brook, show Robin that thing you did with Chopper. That was so cool!"

"Yohohoho, of course captain!" the skeleton once again put his violin to his shoulder and played a soft lullaby. Almost immediately, both Chopper and Luffy fell asleep. Usopp (wearing earmuffs to block the sound) began giggling as he tied Luffy's arms together before doodling on Chopper's face with a marker.

Mischief done, Usopp signaled at Brook to stop.

Just as suddenly as they had fallen asleep, the boys woke up. Luffy's eyes bulged in a way that was only possible for a rubber man. The captain squirmed and struggled to untie his arms, to no avail. Chopper and Usopp literally fell over laughing, until Luffy caught sight of Chopper's face.

"Shishishi! Chopper, you really are a tanuki, aren't you?"

"Eh?"

"Your face! That's awesome!"

Robin felt a headache start to build between her eyes as the boys laughed and yelled at one another. The morning had just begun, but the way they were acting promised for a rowdy and rambunctious day to come. Careful to avoid Chopper as he chased Brook around the decks of the Sunny, Robin went to one of the few places on the ship that offered her sanctuary.

When Robin entered the library she was surprised to see Franky. The cyborg was pounding away at something. She stood in the doorway and resisted the urge to massage her aching head, wondering what in the world he could possibly be doing that required him to make so much noise. Franky didn't notice her presence, continuing to hammer at…whatever it was he was making.

"Hello Franky," Robin said after a few seconds. He jumped, knocking over his toolbox onto the floor.

"Hi ya there," he said as he scrambled to pick up his tools.

"If you don't mind me asking, what are you building?" she asked, attempting to be polite. There was an unspoken rule: The library was her space, just like Franky had his tool shop and Nami had her map making room. After a disastrous game of tag, she had made it known that it was not to be disturbed.

Franky swallowed rather loudly, "Er, I was just putting in a defense system. Ya know, in case of an enemy attack."

"Does this defense system involve explosions of any kind?" Robin asked innocently.

"No! Of course not! Nondestructive measures only. Although, I did have this super idea for a rocket system that would work pretty good…" Franky's voice tailed off as he saw Robin's glare. He chuckled nervously. "Actually, now that I think about it, that seems pretty un-super. I'm gonna, uh, get back to working on this now."

Robin nodded, took a book off the shelf, and left.

She desperately wished for a cup of coffee.

On the deck, Robin tried concentrating on her book. It was an interesting little text she had found on Thriller Bark, outlining various ways to preserve bodies. There were notes scribbled in the margins where someone (probably Dr. Hogback) had made observations. Chopper had taken one look at it and declared it 'horrible', but it really was quite interesting.

However, she was having a difficult time concentrating. The noise, which Robin usually was able to easily ignore, had steadily grown throughout the morning. Brook was still getting used to being on a ship with people that were actually alive and was reveling in it. Usopp was working on ammunition, a process that periodically caused small explosions. And then there was Luffy, who was orchestrating a kitchen raid and had somehow managed to get Chopper to help him. This, of course, caused both Nami and Sanji to yell at him, to no avail.

With a small sigh Robin closed the book and shut her eyes. There had to be somewhere that was quiet, before her quickly fraying temper snapped. With a flash of inspiration Robin climbed up to the Sunny's crow's nest. Zoro was sure to be during his morning workout, but as long as she didn't bother him he would ignore her.

True to form Zoro did give her an odd look, but resumed lifting up ridiculously heavy weights with his toes. Robin wondered how this exactly this would help his swordsmanship, but was unwilling to question his methods.

After a while Zoro let the weights fall with a loud thud. He gave her a quick glare before asking, "What the hell are you doing up here?"

Robin felt an eye twitch, "It's quiet," she snapped back.

Zoro looked incredulous but resumed his routine with a shrug. Unfortunately, it wasn't long before Chopper loudly intruded in the room. The poor fur around his face was streaked where he had tried, but apparently failed, to remove the marks Usopp had colored on.

"What happened to you?" Zoro asked.

"Usopp! And…and Brook too! I don't want to look like a tanuki, I'm a reindeer dammit!" Chopper cried before launching in the air and attaching onto Zoro's head.

"What kinda tanuki has antlers?" Zoro said as he tried to pry Chopper off of him.

"But it won't come off! I washed and washed, but it's Usopp's special recipe and it'll last until I shed!" the reindeer sniffled. Zoro let out a sigh before finally dislodging Chopper from his head. The swordsman held him out at arms length and gave him a critical look.

"You know what? It kind of looks like you've got war paint on now," he mused.

This was the wrong thing to say, and Chopper's wails began anew. Robin, head throbbing, got up and left Zoro to pacify their doctor.

Someone needed to have a word with their resident marksmen.

"I didn't mean to!" Usopp sputtered, "My Usopp's Special Permanent Marker got mixed up with my, uh, regular permanent marker. It was all in good fun. I honest thought it would wash out."

Robin gave him a cold stare, and Usopp nervously stepped back. He gave her a shaky grin of good will, which she ignored.

"If it was in good fun, will you explain to me why at this very moment, Chopper is up with Zoro?" she asked. Usopp looked a little guilty, and Robin continued, "You know how sensitive he is about his appearance."

"Yeah, I guess," he muttered. "I'll go up and apologize. Like I said, it was a total accident."

"You do that," she replied shortly before going to her room.

Robin had almost drifted to sleep when Nami burst into the room. Repressing a groan, she sat up at the edge of the bed where she was eye to eye a concerned looking Nami.

"Are you alright? Usopp just told me that you almost killed him for playing a prank on Chopper."

"I did no such thing. And yes, I am perfectly fine."

Nami clearly didn't believe her, because the navigator placed the back of her hand on Robin's forehead and frowned, "No fever. Are you sure you don't need to see Chopper?"

"I'm fine," Robin replied curtly, "I just need some rest, that's all."

The younger girl still looked unconvinced, but thankfully left her in peace. After Nami closed the door Robin allowed herself to flop back on the bed, feeling lethargic and cranky.

"ATTACK! Don't let justice fall!" cried the marine in control of the patrol ship unlucky enough cross paths with the Straw Hats.

Robin narrowed her eyes in displeasure. She was on her second day without coffee, and if anything the side effects were getting worse. The headache that had started as a deep throb behind her eyes had spread across the rest of her forehead, and her bad temper continued.

In short, she was in no mood for anything the marines had to offer.

"Ocho fleur: Twist," Robin snarled. The marine's cry was cut off as his torso twisted in an unnatural motion and he collapsed on the deck. Beside her Zoro and Sanji were arguing with one another as the mowed down enemies left and right, while Luffy launched himself across the deck to wherever enemies were the thickest. She had lost sight of the others, but the enemy marines weren't strong enough to give her cause for worry.

"Ah, Robin you are so beautiful when you're vicious!" Sanji cooed over the sound of the battle. Despite herself, Robin had to smile at the cook's antics.

"Robin look out!" she heard Luffy cry from behind her. She twisted around only to come face to face with a sword-bearing marine. There was simply no time for Robin to counter attack. She raised her arms in an attempt to defend herself and braced her body for the pain that was sure to come.

Quick as a flash Luffy crashed into the attacker, knocking him out. He turned to her and flashed a cheeky grin. "You gotta watch out!" he called before throwing himself back into the battle.

Robin let out a shaky breath and continued fighting. Maybe something was wrong with her. There was no way that such an obvious attack should have worked. She stored the thought for a later time and redoubled her concentration to the enemies that surrounded her.

"Do you think she's sick?" came a worried murmur in the kitchen.

"Dunno; she's acting weird."

"Say that again, you shit! I'll force feed you the heel of my shoe!"

"Yeah? You really think there's nothing wrong?"

There was silence.

"She glared at me the other day! Robin never glares at me!"

"I'm worried to the depths of my heart. Although…I have none."

"Shut up! We need to figure out something fast, before she snaps someone's neck!"

"She wouldn't do that!"

"She would if you keep annoying her!"

From her spot on her bed Robin groaned and released her power. She felt awful. In fact, Robin had not felt this bad (physically, anyway) since she had gotten a bad case of food poisoning as a child on the run.

Robin went to library. She picked up a book, forcing her eyes to stay open. It was so strange, generally she suffered from insomnia but these days it was all she could do to stay awake.

When Franky thudded into the room, Robin fought the urge to scream. She wanted peace. Franky had many things to offer, but peace wasn't one of them.

"You look like crap, Nico," he said bluntly.

"Thank you for your honesty, and good morning to you, too," she replied.

"Tch, whatever. Here, drink this," he said. The cyborg thrust a glass bottle at her face, and Robin cocked an eyebrow when she recognized one of his bottles of cola.

"How…very generous of you."

"Just drink it. Curly just told everyone you haven't had your coffee in four days. Trust me, this'll help."

Robin recognized how hard it was for Franky to share his precious 'super drink'. It was a true testament to their camaraderie that he even offered. With a small word of thanks, she opened the bottle and took a drink.

"Whew," Franky said with a relieved grin. "Every man on this ship's glad we got this figured out. I know for sure that going without caffeine totally sucks."

"I am curious, if the zombies took all of the food how did your cola remain unscathed?" Robin asked as slowly but surely her headache receded.

"Heh heh, they didn't know about my fridge below de—Shit, shouldn't have said anything!"

"Don't worry, your secret's safe with me," she assured the worried cyborg.

"Good, who knows what would happen if Luffy found it," he said with a shudder.

"Franky, now that I'm feeling in better sorts maybe you could tell me about the defense system you've installed."

"Sure!" Franky said before pulling up a chair. He reached into his stomach and pulled out his own bottle and took a big swig before explaining his handy work in intricate detail.

Robin allowed herself to relax as she began to feel better than she had in days. However, she still wished for a warm cup to wrap her hands around. Cola was all well and good, but she preferred the bitter taste of a good cup of coffee.

Robin's first order of business when the crew reached the Sabaody Archipelago was to visit a quaint little coffee hut in one of the more law abiding sections of the strange city. A feeling of pure bliss spread throughout her body as the heavenly drink settled in her stomach. As she chatted with Nami about the state of the world she felt a slow smile spread across her face.

Inwardly she swore never to go without coffee ever again.

AN: This was supposed to be a more straight up comedy, but then I read the side effects to caffeine withdrawal (headache, sleepiness, lethargy, constipation, depression, irritability, muscle pain/stiffness, flu like symptoms, lack of concentration, and occasionally insomnia) and read stories of people trying to stop cold turkey, and was horrified enough that I had to take it more seriously. The fact that I have trouble writing humor had nothing to do with it at all (cross my fingers, lol).

Seriously though, if you want to stop with the caffeine walk back slowly. It's probably for the best.