In Asgard, funerals were rare. Still, Sigyn had always known that her mother's funeral would be the first one she had to attend. 53 years. She had only been given 53 years to spend with her mother. She didn't even remember the first few, and had spent the last ones watching her growing old and gray. For a mortal, 53 years wasn't such a short time, but for an Asgardian, it was a heartbeat.

Unfortunately, Sigyn was neither.

Half-mortal.

Half-Asgardian.

Half-sister.

Half-blood.

Half-breed.

Such were the words that had been used to describe her since she had been born. Perhaps that was why she would never feel whole. The last one was especially humiliating. Sometimes, she was angry with her parents for bringing her into this world. It was so thoughtless of them, so selfish… But right now, there was no such anger. All she felt was pain and grief.

As an archer shot a flaming arrow, and her mother's boat caught on fire, Sigyn felt Sif's hand tighten around hers. Sif. The fact that they didn't share a mother had never bothered them. They were the daughters of General Tyr, and that was enough for them to love each other more than anything else.

Their father had begged Odin to give Helga an Asgardian funeral, and Odin hadn't refused his friend's request. Still, she was a mortal, and no one expected anything to happen when Odin slammed Gungnir on the ground. But the crowd gasped in awe when they saw her spirit rise into the sky.

"Your mother was a great warrior back in Midgard," Queen Frigga, who was standing right behind the two maidens, whispered into Sigyn's ear. "The Norns have let her into Valhalla."

Queen Frigga had always been so kind to them. She had even shared her magic with Sigyn when she was a little girl, just like she had with her younger son, Loki. Although he was a pure-blood Asgardian, and even a son of Odin, Loki, too, was different from the other Asgardians. He wasn't a mighty warrior like his father or brother. And more importantly, he didn't want to be. Both Sigyn and Loki agreed that knowledge was more interesting than warfare. Besides, her mind was the only thing about her that wasn't inferior to other Asgardians. The only thing that helped her keep up with them.

But then, Valhalla was for warriors, not sorcerers or scholars…

"Let's go home," her father said gravely, snapping Sigyn out of her thoughts. The funeral had ended.

As he led Sigyn and Sif away from the shore, Sigyn found some consolation in the fact that this was also the last funeral she would ever have to attend. By now, they were all certain that her lifespan wasn't as short as a mortal's, but Sigyn didn't think it would be as long as an Asgardian's either. Uncertainity was the curse of her existence. But one thing was certain, at least: She was never going to outlive anyone else she cared about. She would never have to mourn for anyone else.

And she was going to find a way to be reunited with them in Valhalla when she died.

…

When they returned home, their father locked herself in his bedchambers, but Sif refused to leave her alone. Sigyn cried herself to sleep in her arms that night. When she woke up in the morning, Sif was gone, though. Probably to the training grounds. Swinging a sword was how she always coped with any kind of emotional pain; be it anger, sorrow, or even grief, it appeared.

Sigyn went to her father's bedchamber and knocked on the door. "Father?"

He didn't reply, but she heard the door being slowly unlocked. He seemed weary, like he had aged a thousand years overnight."Yes, Sigyn?"

"How are you feeling today?"

"I'll be fine, my dear. Don't concern yourself about me. How are you feeling?"

"I miss her," she admitted.

"We both do. I thought I was prepared for this day, but… I'd been wrong, obviously."

"One day, you'll see her again in Valhalla."

He smiled, but Sigyn could see the fear in his eyes. He feared that Sigyn wasn't going to be a part of that reunion. Soon, he wouldn't have to, though.

She put a kiss on his cheek. "Let me know if you need anything."

"Thank you. And Sigyn…"

"Yes, Father?"

"I know what you and Queen Frigga did for Helga during her final days. You eased her passage with your magic. I'm grateful for that."

All they had done was to give her pleasant dreams while her body's strength left her. Sigyn didn't know how much it had helped. At least she had her father's gratitude.

"I wish I could've done more," she mumbled and returned to her room. She had important things to do today. She started by taking all the books she had borrowed from the royal library, and returning them. Unfortunately, she encountered Loki there. He showed her a rare book his mother had recommended, one on the subject of the weapon enchantments, and started telling her how interesting it was. Sigyn knew he didn't really care about the book. He was just trying to distract her.

"Loki, stop," she said at last. "Such things don't interest me anymore."

"What do you mean, by 'such things'?"

"Ancient knowledge, magic, tricks that won't get me into Valhalla…"

He looked at her as if she had just betrayed him in the worst way possible. "Tricks? Now you sound just like the others…"

"Good," she said firmly. "Because I want to be like them. I want to be a great warrior like my sister and father... And my mother."

"Sigyn, this is just grief. It will pass, I promise. Let me help you."

"How? What can you do for me?"

He seemed to hesitate for a brief second, but then cupped her face in his hands and kissed her lips. This was their first kiss, but the moment their lips touched, Sigyn realized that deep down, she had been expecting this moment for a very long time. They had always been close. Not physically, perhaps, but both emotionally and mentally. At first, it was because he was one of the few people who could put a genuine smile on her face, with his infamous mischief. And then, growing up, they had often found sanctuary in each other. The courtship between them had never been like the others in Asgard, but then, it didn't have to. Even a simple look or smile was often enough to prove how well they understood one another. Still, she didn't want to give him any false hopes, so she resisted the urge to kiss him back, and withdrew herself, but Loki only smirked.

"Marry me," he blurted out.

"Loki, this is not a good time for your jests."

"I'm serious."

And he was. She could see the burning passion in his green eyes now. Had he gone mad? "I cannot be your wife. I cannot be anyone's wife. You know what I am."

"I don't care. I love you. You love me. Why should we torment ourselves?"

Because there is still hope for you, she thought. Loki had ambitions, and to fulfill those ambitions, he was going to need a bride that could give him worthy heirs. For now, he was too blinded by his love for her to see that, but it was the truth. There was nothing Sigyn could do about the weakness in her blood, but Loki could still find a way to be king one day. At least one of them could find happiness.

"No, Loki… Tell Queen Frigga that I'm grateful for her lessons, but I'll no longer be attending them," she said, and walked away from him.

"If you really are grateful for those lessons, you will tell her yourself!" Loki bellowed angrily. The librarians shot them an annoyed look, but didn't say anything. After all, Loki was a prince of Asgard.

She went to the blacksmith's shop next. Years ago, Haldier the Blacksmith had forged Sif an armor, and that armor had saved her life many times. At least that was what Sigyn had been told. Haldier looked at her as if she was mad when she said she wanted an armor for herself, but he took her measurements nevertheless and said her armor would be ready in three days.

…

When Sif had started training as a warrior, many had scoffed at her. After all, it was an unusual thing for a young maiden to be a warrior. Once, there were the Valkyries, of course, but that was a long time ago. Legend had it they all had died gruesome deaths, but no one remembered how, or why. But Sif had had their father's support, and more importantly, Thor's. It hadn't taken her long to prove her worth as a swordswoman. Although Asgard had brought peace to the universe half a century ago, every once in a while, there was someone who wanted to change that. Sif, Haldorr, the sons of Odin, and the Warriors Three had fought many mighty battles together. Now it was time Sigyn joined them.

She hadn't shown her armor to anyone yet. Not even to Sif. She was afraid of the reaction she would get. But if her own sister didn't support Sigyn, who else would? So, one morning, she mustered up her courage, went to the courtyard, and found her training with the guards as usual.

Sif stopped when she saw her. "Sister, is everything alright?"

"Yes, everything is fine. I was just hoping you could train me."

"What?"

"Teach me how to handle myself in a battle."

Sif frowned when she realized Sigyn was serious. "Sigyn, this is a bad idea."

"Why? I want to be a warrior. Like Father. Like you."

"Since when?"

"Since my mother's funeral."

Her frown deepened.

"Look, I know I'm weak, but—"

"Sigyn, you're not weak. You just… have a different sort of strength. You don't have to prove anyone anything."

Sigyn held her hands and begged her, "Please, sister. One way or the other, I'll learn how to wield a sword. But if you don't support me, no one else will."

"If any harm comes to you, I'll never forgive myself."

"There will be nothing to forgive. Dying a warrior's death is my choice. It's what I want. We're sisters. We must always support each other."

"Fine," she relented, grabbed a sparring sword and tossed another one at her. This was embarrassing. Sparring swords were blunt, and only children trained with them. Not grown men or women.

"Father taught us the basics when we were young. Do you remember them?"

"Yes."

"Good. Show me your stance."

Sigyn did. Sif studied her for a moment, corrected the position of her left elbow, and right foot, then they started. As usual, the training grounds were full of warriors, but they couldn't see any of their friends yet. Sigyn could feel other people's mocking gazes on herself. Some had even stopped sparring and were now watching her. But that oaf, Gustav, was the worst. He was openly laughing at them. His audacity must have encouraged the others, because soon, they joined him.

"Just ignore them," Sif whispered. "They're actually doing you a favor by distracting you. It can help you learn how to focus."

Well, focusing was the easy part. Sif had never practiced magic. She couldn't know how much focus even the simplest spell required. Years of training in magic had taught Sigyn how to concentrate well, even under difficult circumstances. It was the physical exhaustion she was struggling with. The damnable sword was too heavy. Her arms had already turned to lead, so had her legs. Sif didn't seem to notice. She was still expecting Sigyn to keep up with her. She only stopped when she saw Thor storming into the yard. He was furious.

"Show some respect, you miserable fools!" he bellowed, and threw Mjolnir at Gustav, knocking him unconscious. No one was laughing anymore. His friends quickly dragged Gustav away.

"Thanks, but I was the one who let them laugh at us. I thought it would be good practice for my sister." Sigyn bit her lip to suppress a smile. Sif was trying really hard in order to not blush.

"I don't doubt it, Lady Sif," he said, and then turned to Sigyn. "Sigyn, it's good to see you here."

"Thank you. I've decided to become a warrior like my mother, to honor her memory."

He patted on her shoulder. "I'm sure you'll be a great warrior maiden, my lady. Oh, by the way, my mother wishes to have a word with you," he said, and then went to find himself a sparring partner.

"I better not keep the Queen waiting," Sigyn told Sif, and put the training sword back on the weapons rack. She hadn't seen Queen Frigga since the funeral, and was now feeling a bit ashamed. Loki was right. She should have told her herself. After everything Frigga had done for her, she owed her that much.

"You seem troubled," Sif observed.

"I don't think Queen Frigga is going to be pleased to hear that I don't want to practice sorcery anymore."

"You were her prodigy, Sigyn. I seriously don't know what's going on with you. But it doesn't change the fact that I'm proud of you," she said, looking at the warriors who had been ridiculing them only a few minutes ago.

"Thor did it for you, you know. He likes you."

"My heart belongs to Haldor," she said, but Sigyn could swear that she was blushing again.

"Only because you're afraid to give it to Thor."

"It's not his love I'm afraid of. It's the life that comes with that love. I wasn't born to be a princess, or queen. I'm a warrior."

"You could be the first warrior queen of Asgard."

"I love Haldor. I made my choice a long time ago."

"If you say so, sister."

She smirked. "And what about you? Do you think we haven't noticed how you and Loki look at each other?"

"What? Don't be ridiculous," she said evasively, but she knew her sister was right. Of course they must have realized it by now. At least they didn't know that Loki had asked for Sigyn's hand in marriage. And they never would.

"I don't like Loki," Sif said. "You deserve someone better than him."

She chuckled mirthlessly. "Who else would want a half-breed like me?"

"You think so little of yourself, Sigyn. You're one of the most beautiful women in the Nine Realms, and the daughter of a legendary warrior. Men would kill each other for your love."

…

Sigyn tried to avoid Frigga's gaze as she curtsied. "My queen, you wished to see me?"

"Yes, Sigyn. Come." She gently took Sigyn's arm, and led her into her study. "I see you no longer wish to practice magic?"

"True. Please forgive my disrespect. I should have—"

"And my son has asked for your hand in marriage?" Frigga interrupted her softly, her voice still gentle.

"Also true," Sigyn admitted. So, someone had told her. The only question was, was it Heimdall, or Loki himself?

"Why did you refuse him?"

"We barely know each other."

"Sigyn, you two have known each other all your lives."

"As friends. Not lovers."

"Right. Perhaps the proposal was a bit too sudden. Loki should've courted you properly first. And his timing was also disrespectful. After all, you're still in mourning."

Sigyn looked at her, taken aback. "So, do you… approve? Of this marriage?"

"Why would I not approve?"

Why is she doing this, Sigyn wondered. Was this some sort of test? "Because Loki is a prince. And I am not fit to be his bride."

"That could be a problem, if he were the sole heir to the throne…"

Sigyn chose to remain silent.

"I'm not blind," the queen went on. "I see how eager Loki is to prove himself Thor's equal. And there are many who mistake that for jealousy."

Especially my sister. "I don't think it is jealousy. I think it is… something else."

"The mighty warriors of Asgard sometimes cast large shadows. My husband and my first-born, most of all. I'd hoped, by sharing my gifts with you and Loki, you could find some sun for yourselves. And you did. But more importantly, you found each other. Yet you want to cast this aside. And for what, child?"

Sigyn decided to be honest with her. "My mother died of old age, but like you said, she went to Valhalla because she was a great warrior in her youth. I'm weak, my queen. I know I'll never be a great warrior. My only hope to go to Valhalla is to die with a sword in my hand."

"Not everything they say about Valhalla is true, you know."

She shot her a questioning look.

"There was a time the arcane arts were revered in the Nine Realms, and not frowned upon. Magic was simply a weapon, like a sword or hammer."

"What changed?"

"People tend to remember the lives magic destroyed and forget the ones it saved."

"But isn't it dishonorable, to deceive your opponents with illusions, or hide from them with a cloaking spell?"

Frigga smiled. "Define honor."

Sigyn opened her mouth to reply, but suddenly, she realized she was at a loss for words. Honor was just… honor. She had never thought much about a definition.

Frigga chuckled softly, as if this was the exact response she had been expecting. "You're one of the most brilliant students I've had the pleasure to teach, but even you still have so much to learn, Sigyn. I've been training you only for four decades, and we've barely scratched the surface. I can teach you how to use your gifts to be a warrior if you choose. You can be both a great warrior and a sorceress. Your mistake is to think those are different paths."

Sigyn knew Queen Frigga wouldn't want to lose her most promising pupil, but she would never lie just to be able to keep teaching Sigyn either. So, it had to be true, then. Sigyn didn't have to give up on her true passion for the glory of Valhalla.

"Thank you, my queen. I'm forever grateful for your wise guidance."

…

Indeed, after that day, Frigga started to focus on the spells that would be useful during a fight. In the meantime, Sigyn was training with the sword as well. Like Frigga had said, she didn't have to choose one path over the other. As for Loki, he had simply said he was a patient man, and was pretending like nothing had changed between them. In fact, he even courted other ladies—especially sorceresses—at every opportunity just to make Sigyn jealous.

A patient man. Like Sigyn didn't even have the option to refuse him… It wounded her pride. Perhaps it was his arrogance that led Sigyn to tell her father that she wished to be married to a suitable husband. He seemed confused at first, but respected her daughter's wish. Men didn't kill each other for her love, as Sif had claimed, but she wasn't too hopeless either. Soon, she had a suitor from Vanaheim.

His name was Theoric, and he was a widower with two sons. So, at least her husband wasn't going to expect Sigyn to bear him strong children. He was kind, noble, and handsome as well. Deep down, she knew she was making a mistake, but this was the only way to show Loki that she didn't belong to him just because she was a lesser Asgardian.