"Wait, come on," Takahiro said, pulling me back to face him. His voice serious and his eyes more intense that I'd ever seen them. "You're wasting time. I'm going to get you out of here."
"What are you talking about?" I asked, instinctively taking a step back from him.
"I know what really happened," he said. "I know Ichinomiya bought you in some auction. Come with me. I want to help you escape. I can get you out of here."
I stared up at him, completely shocked. There were too many questions racing through my mind, but I knew one thing for sure: I wasn't going anywhere with him. "You've got things all wrong. You don't need to rescue me. Let's get back to the office." I turned to go back into the hotel basement, only to find that the doors wouldn't open.
"I told you that you're wasting time." This time his voice held a threat and I turned around to look at him, fear creeping up my spine. "You're coming with me. Right now."
"No, I won't!" Every muscle in my body tensed as I prepared myself to fight with all of my might. I would not just let him take me away. I was going to fight tooth and nail.
It didn't matter. He was bigger than me, and fighting him just pissed him off. I didn't give up, but I paid like hell for it. He grabbed me and pulled me down the long tunnel, and I tried my best to escape the entire time - hitting him, kicking him, trying to twist and tear myself out of his grasp - none of it worked. He just kept punching and kicking me as he dragged me to the doors that lead into the employee dorm.
By the time we reached the other set of doors I was limping, my face was swelling, blood was dripping out of my mouth and quite a bit of my hair was on the floor of the tunnel. But at least I had tried my best. I settled down as we came to the doors, pretending that I was growing docile and giving up. The little black tracking device that Soryu had given me was in my pocket, but I knew that it probably wouldn't do any good to try to use it in the tunnel. Cell phones were never able to get a signal in there, there was no way the tiny device would. I was waiting to use it when it would have a better chance of being effective.
When Takahiro pulled me through the doors, I noticed that a construction barricade had been set up on the other side. Had Takahiro closed the tunnel so that there wouldn't be any employees in it? He lead me past the barricade and turned to the left, taking the stairs up to the employee parking lot instead of going into the dorm.
As soon as we got to the first floor I put my hand in my pocket and mashed on the button a dozen times. 'Please, please, please,' I prayed silently. 'Someone please get this signal!'
At that time of the afternoon the employee parking lot was empty of people. There was no reason for anyone to be out there because it was so far away from a shift change. Even the little guard shack that sat at the entrance was empty. The parking spaces nearest the entrance to the dorm were all assigned to higher level employees. Takahiro lead me down the second row of cars and stopped at the passenger door of a silver car, he twisted a fist into my hair and took a good grip, then reached into his pocket to press the button to unlock the doors with his free hand. I took a few deep breaths, I was not getting into that car. I was going to fight with everything I had in me. I had already promised myself that the only way he would get me in that car was to drag me in there unconscious or dead.
As he moved to open the door, I attacked while he was distracted and only had one hand on me. Stomping on his foot, punching at him and trying to tear myself out of his grasp all at the same time. It didn't work. He flung the door open and rounded on me, his hand still fisted tightly in my hair, punching at my face again and again. I put my hands up and managed to block most of the blows from hitting my face.
"Hey!" I heard someone yell, and looked over to see a security guard at the edge of the parking lot, beginning to run toward us.
Takahiro didn't waste any time. He jumped into the passenger seat of the car and dragged me in after him with such force that my kicking and screaming just didn't matter. It took him just a moment to climb behind the wheel, depress the brake and push the button to start the car. He started driving as soon as the car was on. My legs were still half hanging out of the car and his hand was still fisted in my hair. As the car door hit the car next to us, the door swung painfully into my legs with a crash. I screamed and pulled my legs into the car, attempting to right myself in the seat. The door was swung wide open by the momentum of the car after bouncing off my legs, it hit another car and came crashing shut as Takahiro drove at breakneck speed out of the parking lot.
Once the door was closed, he let go of my hair. I sat up and immediately bent forward to throw up onto the floor of the car. There was just too much blood in my mouth. That and the fear and stress were making me feel ill. Takahiro didn't say a word, acting as if I wasn't even there. I sat back up and surreptitiously put my hand in my pocket and pushed the button on the device once. If it worked, someone should already be tracking me. I didn't want Takahiro to realize that it was in my pocket, but I couldn't resist pushing that button one more time.
Then I assessed my situation. We had left the hotel behind and were on the highway headed towards the city. There was no way that I could jump out of the car. We were going too fast and I would get hit by another car. I remembered Eisuke's words the night that I had been sold at the auction: "Like writing 'They sold me in an auction' or 'help me' in blood on a wall?"
I sat up straighter in my seat and used blood from my mouth to write the characters for help on the window, low in the right corner so that my body would block Takahiro from seeing it. I waited for Takahiro to pass a car in the right lane. Finally, we drove alongside a white car, a man was sitting behind the steering wheel. I watched out of the corner of my eye as he saw the writing on the window. 'Please, please help me!' I thought, too afraid to turn my head to look at the car. I raised my hand slowly and pressed my fingers at the lower edge of the window near the characters.
The car dropped back a little and I watched the man in the side mirror. He pulled out his phone and started talking on it. I prayed with everything in me that he was calling the police. When he dropped back even further, still on the phone, I thought that he must be looking at the license plates on the car, giving the number to the police. A few moments later the man pulled back alongside Takahiro's car, but I kept my eyes trained ahead, where I could see a traffic light shining in the distance.
'This is my chance,' I thought. 'I'll jump out of the car when he stops for this light. Even if it doesn't turn red when we get to it, there will be another one.'
As we approached the light, it turned yellow and I tensed up, ready to make a move as soon as I had the chance. But Takahiro wasn't that stupid. As the car began to decelerate, his hand reached out and twisted into my hair, holding me tightly as we came to a stop.
Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw the white car angling near. The driver edged the nose of his car into the space between the front of Takahiro's car and the car in ahead of us.
"Fuck," Takahiro said under his breath, looking over at the window and seeing what I had written there. "What did you do? I was just going to let you go once we were far enough away from the hotel. I don't think I'm going to do that anymore."
As the white car edged in, Takahiro pulled his car away from it, ready to go around it as soon as the light turned green. But the guy in the white car was intent on stopping Takahiro. I couldn't see his face, but he was not stopping his car. As Takahiro continued to move his car to the left, the other driver punched on his accelerator and rammed into Takahiro's car, knocking it over so that it hit an SUV to our left. The car in front of us pulled forward as far as he could to get away from the chaos, allowing the white car to move further in front of us, wedging Takahiro's car in.
The owner of the SUV jumped out and ran around to see what was going on and the guy in the white car got out of his car and started pounding on the hood of Takahiro's car. With a disgusted sound, Takahiro flung me away from him. I opened the car door as quickly as I could and got out, limping over to the rear of the white car and leaning against it.
"Grab that guy!"
I looked over to see the driver of the white car and a couple of other men closing in on Takahiro and taking hold of him. In the distance the sound of police sirens could be heard. A woman ran up to me saying, "Oh no! Are you okay? What happened?"
"She's my wife!" Takahiro was yelling. "She was in an accident! I'm taking her to the hospital!"
I turned to look straight at him. "He's my boss and he kidnapped me! Don't let him go!"
"Bitch!" Takahiro shouted at me. "It doesn't matter anyway! He's dead! I just used you for the keycard! It doesn't matter if I go to jail as long as Ichinomiya's dead!"
I thought about the keycard that he had knocked out of my hands. He'd just left it on the floor. Someone else must have picked it up. Someone who wanted to hurt Eisuke had gotten the key to the penthouse. I felt my legs giving out beneath me and the road slowly came up to meet me as I sank down onto it. I had fought so hard to save myself but Eisuke had been the one in danger the whole time.
"No, no, no," I moaned. "It isn't true. It can't be true…"
_*_*_*_*_
The police arrived and things began to happen very fast. They asked me a few questions, but as soon as they knew that it was an assault and kidnapping, they put me in an ambulance and a police officer escorted me to the hospital.
"He said that someone killed my boyfriend!" I yelled at the officer as the ambulance made its way to the hospital. "Someone has to check on my boyfriend!"
"Okay, Miss, okay. You've already said that. We're taking care of it right now," the officer spoke calmly, trying to get me to lower my voice and focus on him. "I'll let you know what they find out as soon as I can. Right now, why don't you try to relax? We'll be at the hospital soon."
I'd only been lying on a bed in the emergency department of the hospital for a few minutes when a man in a suit arrive and said, "I'll be taking over this case, officer."
The officer gave a nod and the man in the suit looked at me and said, "I know this isn't the best time, but I'm going to have to ask you to come with me."
"Where?" I asked. "I'm not going anywhere with you. Who are you?"
He gave a little grimace, pulled out his cell phone and dialed a number. After a moment he handed the phone to me.
"Olivia? This is Mamoru," the voice on the phone said.
"How do I know it's really you?" I asked.
"Because we're the only ones that know that Eisuke secretly plays video games instead of working," he said, his voice serious. "I need you to go with Lieutenant Miyoshi. He's taking you to Eisuke."
"He's alive?" I asked, hope filling me.
"Yes, he's alive. Now go with Miyoshi."
I looked up at Lt. Miyoshi and gave him a little nod as I handed the phone back to him. He was going to take me to Eisuke and nothing else mattered. I followed him outside to a police car. After we got in, he started the car and turned on the siren, driving at high speed toward the outskirts of the city.
"Where are we going?" I asked, when it became obvious that we weren't going to the hotel.
"To the airport," he said.
I didn't ask any more questions. I knew that he wouldn't have any answers. Maybe Eisuke needed to get out of the city because someone had tried to kill him. Leaving seemed like the best way to hide until the murderer could be caught.
When we finally arrived at the airport a woman in a business suit met the car on the sidewalk and Lt. Miyoshi drove away as soon as I stepped out of the car.
"Let's get you inside," the woman said, not bothering to identify herself. "Mr. Ichinomiya is waiting. I've got your passport here. We'll be going through security privately, so there won't be any wait."
As we walked through the airport, almost everyone I passed either stared at me or quickly averted their eyes. I must have looked like I'd been in a car accident. I hadn't even bothered to look at my reflection in the police car's mirror. I didn't care what I looked like. I didn't care how many people stared. I only wanted to get to Eisuke and see with my own eyes that he was okay.
The woman led me into a little office where a security guard quickly waved a little wand over me and declared that I was cleared to board my plane. Then we went to a small private gate near the one where we had picked up Carolina. It felt like years, but it hadn't even been two weeks ago. Through the big windows, I could see a jet parked outside in the early evening sun, a stairway in place at its door.
When my feet hit the tarmac, I couldn't hold myself back any longer, I ran as fast as I could on my limping legs across to the jet and up the stairs. When I flung myself through the doorway, the first thing that I saw was Eisuke, sitting in a seat with no shirt on, a bandage wrapped around his upper arm.
"You did get hurt!" I cried, and ran over to him, bending over him and frantically scanning the bandage on his arm, tears began falling from my eyes. "You did get hurt!"
"Olivia," he said, putting his hands on my arms and pushing me upright. "I'm fine. I need you to calm down."
"What happened to you?!" I demanded.
"Right now, the doctor needs to take a look at you so that we can determine if it's safe to take off," Eisuke said, standing and turning me to face the man who was walking towards us. It was the same doctor who had examined me the night that I was sold in the auction.
The doctor did a thorough check, asking about my injuries, shining a light in my eyes and making me move in certain ways to test my neurological functioning. Once he was finished he turned to Eisuke and said, "She's pretty banged up. She certainly has a concussion, and she has a couple of loose teeth, but I believe that she's safe to make the flight. I'll contact Foster and arrange for a CT scan and dental exam as soon as you arrive. She's oriented and conversing well, so it's fine if she sleeps and that's the best thing for her right now. I'll give her a pain pill and something to calm her down a little and she can sleep until you land."
Eisuke accepted the pills from the doctor and then the man exited the jet and a flight attendant closed the door behind him.
"We need to get in our seats and buckle up so that the plane can take off," Eisuke said. I allowing him to guide me to a seat and help me with the seatbelt. He sat down next to me and gave a nod to the woman who had closed the door of the plane. I watched as she buckled herself in and then pushed a little button on her collar to inform the pilot that we were ready for takeoff.
I turned back to Eisuke as the jet began to taxi to a runway. "What happened to your arm?"
"I got shot," he said. "It isn't a problem. It just grazed me. It looks like you have suffered much worse, so I would like to talk about you right now. Tell me everything that happened."
I explained what had happened as briefly as possible. "He said that you were dead! He said that someone else had taken my card and gone to kill you!" I said.
His eyes searched mine for a moment before he said, "Kuroba's father is the one who got your card. He came up to the penthouse and started shooting at anyone and everyone that he saw."
"Oh my God," I moaned. "Who was there? Who got hurt?"
"Baba was shot in the shoulder, but he's going to be okay. One of the maids was shot in the stomach, she's in critical condition. One security guard was killed. Another security guard shot and killed Kuroba's father," he explained, his eyes never leaving mine.
"I can't believe this. Someone got killed? In the penthouse?" I'd started shaking. "But why? Why would Kuroba and his father want to kill you?"
He sighed, his eyes finally sliding away from mine. "In addition to the casino, we do some very high stakes gambling. Kuroba's brother was involved in a game and lost. In order to pay his debt he had to sell a restaurant that he owned and apparently this led to him taking his own life. It seems that Kuroba and his father were seeking revenge."
"I don't understand, you knew that Takahiro's brother had committed suicide because of gambling in your underground thing? Is that why you thought he was suspicious?" I asked.
"No. I only noticed that something was off with him during the golf scramble. Once we got Kuroba's father's identification after he was taken down, Soryu was able to determine what was really going on. Kuroba's real name is Keitaro Mayeda."
"I see," I said. "But I don't understand why they would try to kill you. Takahiro, or Keitaro, is just going to go to jail and his father is dead. Now they've lost so much more than just a brother and a son."
"People who are bent on revenge aren't usually thinking logically," Eisuke said. "There's something special about plotting revenge, it alone can sustain you for a very long time."
I searched Eisuke's eyes. He seemed to be speaking from experience, but I knew better than to ask him about it. "I'm just really glad that you're okay. I was so worried when Takahiro told me that you were dead." I looked down at his hand where it lay on the armrest between us. I wanted to touch him, just to feel that he was alive, but I knew that if I did I wouldn't be able to let go. "I'm so sorry that I let that man get my card. I just didn't even realize that I needed to be on my guard. I was oblivious when I needed to protect you."
"It isn't your responsibility to protect me, it is my responsibility to protect you," he said, reaching up to gently cup my cheek. "It is ironic that at the moment you pushed your panic button I was shouting at Baba and Ota for putting you in danger, when I did the very same thing myself. I am the one who needs to apologize. I knew that something was wrong with Kuroba. I should have assumed the worst and kept you away from him. Now you've been hurt once again."
I couldn't stop a few tears from falling. There was a kindness in his voice and in his eyes that I had never seen before. I wanted to crawl into his lap and press myself against his bare chest. Instead I tightened my hands in the material of my skirt. "The only thing that matters is that you are alive."
A tone sounded and the pilot informed us that we could remove our seatbelts. Eisuke stood up and I followed him to the back of the plane. I was surprised when he opened a door and it led into a bedroom. "I didn't know that airplanes had bedrooms in them," I said, looking around.
"It's a private jet, that's different from a commercial airplane," he said. "There's a bathroom, too. Let's get you a shower. You really need cleaned up."
While Eisuke turned on the water, I stared at myself in the full length mirror that was mounted on the wall. My face was bruised, swollen and smeared with blood. My lips were split. Blood had dripped down my chin and run down my neck and was even in my hair. It was on my hands and stained my uniform. My stockings were torn and my legs were swollen and bruised where Takahiro had kicked me repeatedly and the car door had hit me. I looked like something out of a horror movie.
Eisuke stepped to me and began gently helping me to remove my clothes. "I look really bad," I said. I'd been running on adrenaline and shock and now it all seemed to be draining out of me, leaving me exhausted and throbbing with pain.
"Yeah," Eisuke said. "Takahiro is very lucky to be sitting in a jail cell right now."
"Why? Because you would do something to him if he weren't?" I asked.
"Of course. You're mine and he hurt you. That can't be allowed." I held onto his shoulders as he pulled off my skirt, shredded pantyhose and underwear.
"But, isn't it just as wrong for you to hurt him as it was for him to hurt me?" I asked. "I don't want you trying to take some sort of revenge."
"It isn't a case of what you want. It is a case of what I have to do. I have to make it clear to anyone who may want to attack me or those under me that I will not hesitate to exact a steep revenge. If I didn't do that, people would be attacking all the time. It's just the way things work," he explained.
"In the criminal world," I said.
"Yes. In the criminal world," he stood up and looked me in the eye. "Takahiro is lucky that he is in jail because it is going to buy him a little time, but he is going to die. There is no other alternative."
"You're going to kill him," I said, my voice shaking a little. I thought of all of the times that Takahiro had smiled at me. I thought of him laughing at work and always being so kind and helpful. Which was the real Takahiro? The nice concierge whom everyone trusted and relied on, or the man who had kidnapped me and worked to plot Eisuke's murder?
"He said that he didn't intend to hurt me. He said that he was just going to take me away from the hotel and let me go," I said as Eisuke led me into the spray of the shower.
"It doesn't matter what his intentions were. Touching you was enough, let alone plotting my murder." He had pushed my hands away and was lathering my hair himself, making me stand quietly while he washed me. "I know that you don't want him dead. I'll make sure that he has an easy death. Some sort of poison that isn't too painful."
"I don't like this. This world where people get sold and killed. I don't understand why you're a part of it. Doesn't being the CEO of The Ichinomiya Group give you enough money?" I asked.
"I'm sorry that you got pulled into this world. I will get you out of it as soon as I can. And the reasons for my being in it are a conversation for another day," he said. His hands slid a soapy washcloth over me in a businesslike manner, gently washing away the blood that had dried on my skin.
"This is just bad all around. There is no good here," I said. "Where can I find the good in this so that I can move on?"
"You're alive and I'm alive. Baba and the maid are going to be okay. Because you pushed your emergency button, there were security guards in the room with us when the shooter entered the penthouse. You saved seven lives at least. That wouldn't have happened if they'd gotten in some other way," Eisuke explained. "I can only imagine what would have happened if Kuroba had gotten a black keycard from another source, or if he had just killed you in his office and taken your card. If both father and son had been on that elevator. If there were two shooters and we had had no warning. It isn't perfect - we lost a security guard - but without your warning everyone could have died."
I nodded, contemplating his words as he insisted on drying me off and then gave me a nightgown to wear and my pills. I didn't know whether I should feel proud of myself. I had fought back when Takahiro had kidnapped me. I'd fought, but it hadn't made any difference. Except for the blood. If I hadn't had the blood in my mouth to write on the window, I don't know what would have happened. Would Takahiro have let me go like he had said? It seemed more likely that he would have kept me and waited for word from his father. There was no telling what he would have done once he realized that his father was dead.
I pushed the thought away from me and climbed into the bed. I wanted to sleep and escape the pain and my own thoughts for awhile. Maybe when I woke up, I would feel more optimistic and better able to cope. It didn't seem very likely, but I could always hope.
_*_*_*_*_
I lay on my side on the crisp sheets of the bed. Eisuke lay on the other pillow facing me, searching my eyes as always. He put a hand out and covered mine. "I won't let you get hurt again."
I closed my eyes and shook my head. "You didn't know this was going to happen. There was no way that you could know."
"I'm supposed to know everything. I'm supposed to prepare for every eventuality," he said quietly. "You've thrown me off. All that I wanted was an excuse to keep you." His hand moved to gently cup my cheek, his thumb softly stroking over my skin.
Suddenly a thought occurred to me and I flinched back, away from his touch. I pushed myself up off of the pillow, wanting to escape, but there was no escaping from my own mind.
"What's wrong?" Eisuke asked. "Did I hurt you?"
I shook my head, looking around the room, not wanting to meet his eyes. But his rule was to tell the truth. After a moment, I looked back at him. "I had a thought. A crazy thought. I…" As my voice trailed off, I felt as if I was going to cry. Speaking this aloud made me feel as if I were going to lose all control of myself. "What's the difference," I whispered. "What's the difference between you touching me and the guard touching me? Or any of those men hitting me? Everyone just doing things to me that I didn't want or agree to or have a say in. I know there's a difference. But is the difference just that you're attractive? And you're nicer, sometimes, maybe...
"I'm sorry. Maybe it isn't fair for me to say this to you. But right now I don't know the answer to that question." I was crying now, feeling like I wanted to run away and there was nowhere to run to. I didn't want to find the answer to the question, I didn't think I would be able to face it.
"You're right," he said. "I know that you're right. I've been trying to avoid thinking about it myself. That's the reason that I've never had sex with you. I'm all too aware that our power balance is off and you are in a vulnerable position. I shouldn't be touching you."
I was shaking my head, not because I didn't agree with him, but because I was having trouble processing what he was saying.
"I've been telling myself that I own you and can do with you as I like, and I know that isn't true. I'm just making excuses because I want to touch you." He'd been lying on the pillow, looking up at me as he spoke. Now he sat up and said, "I want to touch you now. I want to hold you while you fall asleep. Will you let me do that?"
I took a deep breath. I could feel the pain pill starting to drag my body down into sleep. Yes, I wanted him to hold me. Did that make it okay? That I wanted it and that he'd asked? I was beyond thinking about it, it was too late for me to analyze it. I was going to fall asleep and I wanted his arms around me. That was my answer for now.
I moved towards him and he reached for me and pulled me close, settling me against him with my head on his chest. There would be a lot to think about when my head was clear, but for now I would just enjoy his warmth and the way that he was stroking my hair.
A wave of heat hit me as I stepped off the jet, causing me to blink and look around. We were on a runway in the middle of the night, so all there was to see was the nondescript backs of airport buildings, but the signs on them had strange writing. I suddenly realized that I had no idea where we were. I hadn't even bothered to ask where we were going.
"Where are we?" I asked as we made our way down the stairs. A limousine was parked on the tarmac near the stairs and three men stood next to it, waiting for us.
"We're in Dubai," Eisuke said. We approached the men and two of them stepped forward to check our passports and put a stamp in them. Eisuke had a quick conversation with them in English, and then the third man opened the limo door and we got inside the car.
"Why are we in Dubai?" I asked.
"I have a home here, a place where we will be safe," he explained. "We can't go back to the penthouse because it's a crime scene and I think it would be best for you to be somewhere quiet."
We went to a hospital where a British doctor named Luke Foster escorted me directly to a room to get a CAT scan - no waiting or filling out forms. He confirmed that I had a minor concussion and provided a list of do's and don'ts. Afterwards he lead me to a regular exam room in the hospital where a dentist was waiting. He took a look at my teeth and explained to me that the loose ones would tighten up on their own, there was no need to worry about them falling out.
After I'd been examined by the doctor and the dentist, we went to the roof of the hospital and got into a helicopter. When I'd heard that we were in Dubai, things had begun to feel a little far away from me as if I were in a dream. When the helicopter blades began to spin and we lifted off the ground, Eisuke took my hand in his and everything seemed even more unreal. Being kidnapped, people being killed, a jet to Dubai, a ride in a helicopter, Eisuke continuing to be kind to me...it was all too much for my brain to handle. Nothing seemed real. When we landed nearly two hours later on a small island that belonged to Eisuke, the feeling of separation from reality just got worse.
I followed him inside a large house that was like something you would see on television - nearly every room had huge windows with views of the ocean. We were greeted by servants, some local, some Japanese. Everyone smiling and pleasant. I was shown a closet that had already been filled with clothes for me. Everything happened instantly for Eisuke.
I was numb, my brain felt as if it were nearly turned off. I just went where Eisuke went and did what I was told. Sit down and eat the breakfast that we were provided. Sit in the living room while Eisuke tapped at his computer and talked on the phone. Say, "Yes, I'm okay" whenever I was asked. Follow Eisuke back to the dining room and eat lunch. Smile and say, "thank you" to the servants.
After lunch I was standing with Eisuke outside on a terrace. The sun was hot and the air was filled with the crashing of the waves. Eisuke was talking about the plants and animals on the island. His voice was muted and far away. "Olivia?" he asked, suddenly close to me and staring into my eyes. "Tell me what's wrong."
I began to shudder and take in deep gulps of air, trying to regain control of myself when it felt like everything within me was coming crashing down. I sank to the hot tile, shaking and sobbing uncontrollably. Eisuke sat down beside me, wrapping his body around me and pulling me close. He held me tightly while it seemed that I would cry without end.
A servant had brought a box of tissues and at times Eisuke had been typing into his cell phone. When my crying slowed and I was finally able to pull myself together, he helped me to stand and said, "You need to talk to Ran Nitta. She's standing by."
He led me into the dining room and sat his laptop in front of me. Ran was on the screen, from the background it looked like she was at home. It must be nighttime in Japan. I talked to her for a very long time, trying to sort through everything that had happened to me, trying to get everything to make sense in a way that would help me to feel okay.
"It isn't as simple as that," Ran said. "You're not going to find a key to make all of this okay. We're going to have to process through this. You've been through a lot and you're still going through a lot. It's just going to take time."
_*_*_*_*_
The next few days blended together, all cut from the same cloth. I felt as if my heart were beating especially slowly as I moved through time: eating meals, spending time talking to Ran, writing down my thoughts, sitting in a patch of shade in the grass right on the edge of the beach and watching the waves for hours. At night I slept with Eisuke. He gave me the option to sleep in my own room, but I was too afraid to be in a room by myself at night.
I woke up two or three times each night, screaming in fear from nightmares. Eisuke would hold me and try to help me calm down. I couldn't tell him that he was in some of the dreams - his face distorted and evil - commanding me to remove my clothing, telling me that I was going to be punished. He offered to contact Dr. Foster and have a medication prescribed to help me sleep. Knowing Eisuke, he already had the medicine at the ready if I decided that I wanted it, but I couldn't help but be afraid of the medicine preventing me from waking up from my nightmares. I didn't want to be trapped, unable to wake up, facing the terrible endings that I always escaped by screaming myself awake.
Eisuke spent his days on his laptop and phone, working constantly. At times, when I sat and watched the waves, he would come and sit behind me. He would straddle his legs out on either side of me, press his back against mine and hold me quietly. He never tried to get me to talk.
"You're right that you'll have to talk to him," Ran said. "I know that you're confused. Talking to him may help you to work some things out."
The next time he tried to sit behind me at the beach I said, "Don't touch me."
I was facing the ocean and he was standing behind me. I couldn't see his face, but his movement stilled for several seconds. My heart was in my throat. I wasn't supposed to tell him no. He'd been so different while we were on the island, ever since the incident with the guard. I just didn't know how he would react. I waited for him to tell me that he would have to punish me, but instead he stepped around to crouch down in front of me. He was in the sand and I was on the grass and it felt like we were in two different world. His eyes searched mine.
"What's this all about?" he asked, his voice was a mix of anger and gentleness. He'd been enjoying the role that he was playing: the benevolent provider of comfort. I'd denied his gesture and it had pissed him off, but he was trying not to show it.
"I want some answers. I need some answers," I replied, my voice was too aggressive. I'd built myself up to talk to him and the tension inside of me was throwing out the words like bullets.
"Ask some questions then," he challenged with a flash of his eyes and a flick of his chin. His smirk - absent for the last few days - was coming back.
"Why didn't you let me go after the auction? Soryu told me you were just trying to save me, so why did you keep me? And why did you touch me? You said that you knew it was wrong. So why did you do it?" My accusations echoed across the beach and were swallowed up by the waves. My heart pounded as he stared at me, his eyes sharp and angry. He didn't like being questioned.
"You would have gone to the police or told your friends about what happened. Even if you made a bunch of promises, we would have had to put a tail on you to make sure you weren't saying anything. It was too risky and too much trouble," he explained. "You were a weak link and weak links have to be taken care of."
I shivered a little, remembering him talking about poisoning Takahiro. I could be dead. If he were a different person, the easiest thing for him to have done would have been to kill me. To eliminate the threat altogether.
"I wanted to touch you. There's something about the way you look at me with your eyes all full of fear and desire and unspoken defiance. It makes me want to prove that the desire is strongest, that I can touch you and make you forget that you're afraid of me, forget that you want to say no," he shrugged and looked away for a moment. "And I like touching you. It's fun. It's not work like it is when I touch other women. I like to play with you"
"But you still…" I gulped and closed my eyes to get control of myself. "You still 'worked on me' when you touched me after the guard. You were trying to make me forget or reclaim your territory or something."
He gave a little laugh. "You figured that out? It was a mistake. I didn't get it til later. I was being insensitive, probably bringing back bad memories about the guard."
"What did you do to the guard?" I asked sharply. I hadn't intended to talk about this yet, but it had come up and I wanted to know.
He narrowed his eyes at me, his voice was laced with warning. "You know that I can't let anyone touch my property."
"Say it," I demanded.
"He's dead."
"Why?!" I cried. "I was in disguise. No one even knows it was me! No one even knows what happened except us!"
"The place got robbed. They're gonna go to the guard and he's gonna brag that at least he took a stab at their little distraction. People start adding things up. If they figure out that Baba is the one who stole their shit, they might guess that you were the one that the guard touched," he explained. "It doesn't matter anyway. Even if it had been another girl, she still would have been one of my people. I probably wouldn't have killed him, but he wouldn't be walking."
"I hate this!" I yelled.
"Then stop asking questions."
"No. I need to. I need to decide how I feel about you. I hate you and I'm afraid of you and you're being so nice and I want you. I can't keep going to sleep in your arms and waking up to nightmares that were about you." I'd started to cry. "You can't be my enemy and my hero at the same time. It's making me crazy. I know you're faking the niceness. It isn't really you and it isn't really what I want from you-"
I stopped abruptly and bit my lip. I'd gone too far and said too much. His eyes flashed and his lips gave a little smirk. Of course he'd noticed.
"What is it that you want from me, Olivia?" I moved to get up and escape from the conversation, but he snatched my wrist and held me in place. "Tell me what you want."
My skin was hot and cold, my heart didn't know whether to stop or pound. I felt dizzy as I met his eyes. He'd given me a direction and he wouldn't be denied. "I'm still not sure myself, but I think I want to belong to you. I want you to be cold to me. I want you to scare me or yell at me or piss me off and then fuck me. I...I want to give you power over me. I want to give it not have it taken away." I stared back into his eyes, afraid of my own words. "I'm fucked up. I've got to be fucked up, but I don't want things to change. I want you to keep telling me what to do and using me. I just want the real you. If you want to be nice, be nice, but don't hold back when you want to be a bastard."
His eyes were flashing now and he was smirking at me. He'd liked what I said and his approval made something release and relax within me. I sobbed as I felt a wave of tension leave my body.
"I can do that. Do you want to start right now?" His voice had lowered, it was full of sex and promises. He'd been suppressing his true nature and it was eager to be freed.
My breath froze in my throat and I felt a wave of heat prickle over my skin. This was a turning point. If we did this things would never be the same. There would be no going back.
"Yes," I answered, staring him right in the eye. "Let's do it now."
The edges of his smirk tilted up into a hedonistic smile. "Take off your clothes," he directed, raising an eyebrow in a silent question: Would I really obey him?
I forced myself not to look around. I knew that we were standing behind a large section of landscaping. Trees, bushes and flowers separated us from the house. I'd chosen this spot days ago because it afforded me some privacy. No one would be able to see us.
I knew that I was probably making a mistake. Ran would advise me to take things slowly, but the temptation was too great. Eisuke and what he wanted of me were the only things that mattered. The only things that seemed real. I pulled off my clothes quickly - dress, bra, panties and sandals were tossed to the side - leaving my body totally bared to him. I wanted his eyes on me. I wanted to be vulnerable to him. I wanted his touch and his heat. I wanted him to take me and make me his.
"Put your hands behind your head and turn around," he said, indicating that I move with a flick of his hand. I did as he said, threading my fingers together on the back of my head and turning away from him. I focused my attention on a bush a few yards away. My breathing seemed especially loud. I was listening for the slightest sound that would hint at what he was doing.
He stepped closer and I felt his fingertips brush over my upper back. "I can still remember the first time I saw you like this as if it was only a moment ago," he said huskily, his fingers tracing down my spine. "You have a beautiful back, especially the small of your back." His knuckles played over my lower back. "This part is mine."
"All of me is yours," I said. His hand on me was making my nipples tingle and my pulse race. I was starting to feel breathless. I pictured his cock as I had seen it, held it and tasted it. I wanted it inside of me.
"Get on your knees." His voice held more force and the sound of it sent shivers through me, weakening my legs. I moved awkwardly to my knees, my body off balance because my hands were clasped behind my head. I could hear him removing his clothes behind me. I tried to figure out what he was taking off: Was that his shirt? And that sound was the zipper on his jeans… Was he taking off everything?
I felt him kneeling behind me and his hand skimmed over my back. "Go all the way down," he said, a hand on my back pushing me to the grass while his other hand was on my shoulder, guiding me so that I wouldn't topple over.
When I lay on my belly, my head turned to the side and my hands locked together over my ear, I shivered as his hand slid over my side and down my thigh to my knee. His fingers played at the back of my knee for a few moments before reversing course and trailing up my thigh towards my ass.
My mind raced. Would he spank me again? My breath caught in anticipation and my ass clenched. I felt desire heating low in my belly. But when his fingers reached the curve of my behind, I was surprised not by a swat but by his hot tongue licking over my lower back. I gasped and moaned, as his tongue lapped over my skin and his lips kissed and sucked, while his fingers massaged my ass.
I felt helpless. My hands were immobilized, I couldn't touch him, I couldn't see him, all that I could do was submit to him and writhe as my arousal grew. His hand caressing my ass was relaying its movements to my clit, making my pussy ache and throb. Feelings began to flood my body, not just arousal and desire but feelings of comfort and belonging. I had missed this so much and needed it so badly. His touch felt so right that it was causing an aching, nearly painful, need to fill me.
My chest and arms felt as if they would burst with the feelings inside of me. The only cure was to hold him tightly against me, but instead my breasts were pressing into the cool grass and my arms were frozen in place. His tongue played hot and wet up my spine and his fingers caressed over my ass, and I sobbed because his touch was exactly what I needed.
Tears pricked my eyes and slid sideways over my face. They weren't tears of happiness, because happiness was too simple of an emotion. I was caught in a tumult of joy, passion, desire that verged on painful, and a feeling that everything was perfectly right because he was touching me. I loved him. The realization made me sob again and pushed my need for him deeper, higher, stronger. I wanted him with everything that was in me.
"Are you crying?" His voice was concerned and his hands were on me, turning me over onto my back. My fingers untangled and my hands reached for him, settling on the firm skin of his shoulders. His eyes searched mine, they were filled with concern.
"They're good tears. I want this so badly," I explained, trying to pull him down to me. "Please don't stop touching me."
He made a pleased sound and took my hands off of his shoulders, pushing them into the grass above my head and holding them down at the wrist with one hand. He bent over me and began kissing and licking at my tears while my body celebrated its newfound freedom to writhe and arch towards him. He was on all fours, holding his body away from mine, his calves pressed along the outside of my legs, holding them closed. I wanted to press my breasts against his chest, I wanted to feel him between my thighs, but I would have to wait until he was ready to give me those things.
His lips moved to take mine and it was a perfect Eisuke kiss. Hot and demanding, taking everything without hesitation and demanding more. I opened myself up to him and met each stroke of his tongue, tasting him, caressing him, giving him everything that I had.
When his mouth finally left mine, I was breathless and moaning. I opened my eyes to find him staring down at me, his eyes were hot and full of the pleasure of conquest. He held my gaze as the hand on my wrists released me and began to trail lightly down my arm. My nipples, already begging for his touch, tightened and ached painfully, desperate to feel him. When his knuckles finally brushed lightly over a nipple I cried out and arched into his touch, the feeling was electric, almost too good to bear, pulsing through my body and increasing my need for him.
"Please, Eisuke, please…" I begged. He gave me a smirking smile and dropped his head to my breasts, closing his mouth on a nipple and worrying it with his tongue. My hands realized that they were free and I wove my fingers into his soft hair, holding his mouth to me, pressing into the hot wetness of his tongue. When his teeth began to lightly nibble at my tender flesh, I felt like he was shredding my sanity.
"Please," I cried, wriggling and struggling against him. "Let my legs go. I want to feel you between my legs."
"Is that what you want?" he asked, his voice way too calm and controlled. He pushed up away from my breasts and I took in the sight of his chest and hard cock as he positioned himself between my thighs.
Spreading my legs felt amazing. I was opening my body to him, inviting him in, feeling the air play on the wet folds of my sex. With my lower body released, the intensity of my desire increased. I was aching and throbbing for him and he was so close, just a breath away. "Eisuke, please," I pleaded, my hands pulling at him, my body arching towards his. "I need you! I need you…"
He wasn't moving and I looked back up at his face. He was staring down at me, his eyes dark and fiery. He held my gaze as his hand slipped down to grip my thigh and pull me open even further. His eyes dropped and I looked down to see him guiding his cock to my entrance.
"Oh! Oh! Oh God, yes!" I cried. Just the tip of him touching me was throwing pleasure through my body. As he pushed inside of me, I watched his hard staff disappear at the same time as I felt him stretching me, filling me, moving slowly until he was buried deep within me.
He lowered himself down, his eyes finding mine and watching the play of emotions that were quaking through my being. My body was shaking and clenching around him. He felt like a miracle inside of me. I raised a trembling hand and stroked his cheek, he was so beautiful. He lowered his head and his lips took mine slowly, tenderly, his tongue slipping between my lips to taste me as his hips began to move, rocking his cock inside of me with small controlled motions.
I sucked on his tongue and tangled my fingers in his hair, bucking my hips to meet and amplify his movements. Tears were forming in my eyes again because all of me - my mind, my heart, my body, my soul - was getting what it wanted. His lips parted from mine and I looked up to see him smiling wickedly at me. He moved his hips with a rolling motion and his cock stroked over some special spot deep inside of me.
I began screaming, throwing my head back, closing my eyes and giving myself over to the ecstacy he created within me as he started a rhythm of deep, hard thrusts. I met and matched his every stroke with desperate abandon, feeling my body filling with stars and fire. I clung to him, holding him tightly, pulling him into me, feeling as if we could not be close enough.
The pitch of my screams changed, growing higher and louder as I approached my climax. He repositioned himself, moving up and taking one of my knees in his hand, pushing it up and out, deepening and intensifying the feel of his thrusts inside of me. I let go completely, forgetting my surroundings, closing my eyes to the sky above me, everything fading away except for his hand on my knee and his cock plunging into me again and again until I couldn't take any more and everything seemed to explode.
My body froze in an arch and my pussy pulsed around him as I called my pleasure to the waves and the sky. His hand slipped up my thigh and over my stomach, tweaking a nipple before he set his hands beside me and began thrusting himself into me at a frenzied pace, seeking his own pleasure. I cried out over and over as he continued to fuck me, until he pulled out and his seed splashed, hot and wet, over my pussy.
"Eisuke… Eisuke…" I said, not even sure why. I felt as if my world had completely changed. I felt like I was truly his.
"Is that what you wanted?" he asked, flashing his smirk.
I sucked in a breath, pushing back all of the emotions that were swirling through me. They were mine, and I would treasure them, but they were not what he wanted. He was returning to normal, cold and aloof and unconcerned, and this was exactly what I had wanted. "Yes," I said, matter-of-fact and honest. "Thank you."
He gave a little laugh and stood up, scrubbing his fingers through his hair before he turned and walked back toward the house. Without a stitch on.
I sighed and laughed to myself before sitting up and judging the best place to approach the waves so that the bushes and trees would shield me from the house. I scurried across the sand and dipped into the water, rinsing sweat and his seed from my body. Afterwards, I drew my dress on slowly, not bothering with my bra or panties. I'd be showering in the house anyway. I picked up our clothes and slipped on my sandals.
As I walked across the grass towards the house, I wondered what life would look like now. Now that we were fucking. Now that I had gladly accepted belonging to him. Now that he had accepted me.
Eisuke's Mental Notes 7/28/2018:
...Olivia is no longer depressed and moody. I'm fucking her...