Timeframe: Post Thriller Bark
Spoilers: None, unless you count Special 3 as a spoiler…
Rating: K, this one's pretty much mindless fluff
"But, alas, I have breathed my last." With a swift, melodramatic motion Usopp plunged the sword into his gut and collapsed onto the deck.
After a moment the deck erupted in applause. Usopp sprang back onto his feet and gave several quick bows, murmuring thanks all the while. Franky dabbed his eyes with a hankie, protesting that his allergies were suddenly acting up. Brook, who had been playing a sad tune to accompany the soliloquy, gave the sharpshooter an enthusiastic pat on the back as he congratulated his performance.
"I don't get it," Luffy complained to Zoro as he clapped. Zoro paused his weightlifting to shrug his shoulders.
"I dunno. Who the hell would kill themselves just because a girl broke up with them?"
"Shitty ignoramus! You obviously don't understand the beauty of unrequited love or the art of tragedy," Sanji snapped, but for once he refrained from attacking.
"It's still dumb. I mean, I get why he stabbed himself, but why'd he die at the end?" Luffy inquired.
"Luffy, I highly doubt you understood why he killed himself," Nami said as she returned to her favorite deck chair.
"Nuh-uh. I've stabbed myself before. It makes you look tough," Luffy insisted. There was dead silence everyone on the ship stared at their captain. With a wild grin Luffy pointed to his distinctive scar under his eye as proof.
"I would ask why you stabbed yourself in the face, but I'm not sure I want to know," Chopper said with a wobbly voice.
"Aaanyway," Usopp interrupted, "I think everyone agrees that I, the Great Captain Usopp, can act. Pay up Nami!"
"Consider your debt reduced by ten berries," Nami said, not bothering to look up from her newspaper.
"What?!" he exclaimed.
"Our bet was for ten berries," she explained. "You currently owe twenty-seven thousand eight hundred forty-nine berries-"
"So high!" Franky yelped.
"-for various loans and punishments," Nami continued as if Franky hadn't said anything. "I think that's perfectly fair."
"Never mind," Usopp muttered.
Robin smiled. "I wouldn't worry about it. It was a very good performance."
Usopp perked up and flashed a quick grin. "It was, wasn't it? Although it's nothing compared to the competition I preformed in when I was three."
"I'm sure it was spectacular," Robin agreed.
Luffy, pausing his game of rock-paper-scissors with Chopper, cocked his head in thought. "It kinda reminded me of that old guy's play. Do you remember that?"
Covering his mouth to suppress a laugh Usopp glanced over at Robin. "Yeah, that was great. Robin, do you think you could sing for us again? It was pretty spectacular the first time around."
Robin turned the page of her book and raised an eyebrow, but didn't answer. She was acutely aware of Franky and Brook's stares of disbelief. Luffy danced around the deck bellowing his lines from the play, recreating his monkey performance while Chopper cheered him on.
"You sang?" Franky asked incredulously. "In public?"
"I thought it was an opera," she answered.
"No, seriously, you sang?"
"Don't remind me," Zoro muttered.
"Apologize, asshole!" Sanji demanded. "Robin had the voice of an angel. She and Nami-dearest were the best part of that stupid experience."
"Why Miss Robin, I do not believe I have actually heard your singing voice. I'm sure Sanji is correct, and that it's lovely. Would you like to do a duet some time?" Brook offered.
"No, thank you. I assure you that I would much prefer to listen," Robin said.
"Well, then would you mind showing me your panties then?" he asked.
"I don't believe that is necessary."
With a wordless roar Sanji launched himself at Brook and attempted to strangle the skeleton. Somehow Luffy's monkey routine got tangled up in the fight, and after a moment Zoro joined (seemingly for training purposes). The fight grew until all of the men were brawling in a giant mass.
"Sanji, could you get me something to drink?" Nami asked sweetly.
Instantly he was by her side, and the situation soon deescalated. Robin, still reading her book, thought for a moment that she was off the hook.
Apparently she was mistaken.
Stuffing a piece of toilet paper up his nose to stem the bleeding, Usopp told Franky and Brook about the crew's misadventure with the famous actor Randolph. Brook in particular seemed very interested, and lamented having missed the performance.
"Oh, how many years it's been since I've seen a play," he said, eye sockets conveying much more sorrow then they should have been able too.
Luffy perked up at his musician's words. "We can do a play."
"What?" Nami asked.
"Yeah! Brook wants to see a play, we'll do a play!"
"We can't just…Luffy, come on, we can just see one at the next island," Nami whined.
"Captain's orders!" Luffy said, grinning ear to ear.
"Might as well do it, he won't stop until we do." Zoro said.
"Ugh, fine."
"And Robin has to sing!"
Robin would do many things for her crew. In fact, she was perfectly happy dying for them. However, there were some lines that she would not cross, if only for dignity's sake. Unnecessary singing was one of those things.
Randolph's play had been different. The man was a highly respected actor, and it had been his final performance. Not to mention she had honestly thought it was an opera. When everyone was dancing about acting like an idiot, no single individual stood out.
That was not the case this time. Luffy declared that the crew would perform for Brook that evening. Luffy and Usopp were put on prop and costume duty, leaving the rest of them the afternoon to come up with something to perform.
"Alright, if we have to do this we might as well do a story we all already know," Nami said in a resigned tone.
"Wonderful idea Nami!" Sanji swooned.
"What about The Menacing Magpie," Robin offered.
"What the hell is that?" Zoro asked.
"You want to do a story were the kid dies in the end?" Chopper gasped.
"It has a very beautiful story line."
"Naw, that won't work. We're doing this for Skelly-bro. He likes happy stories. The Bravest Boat might work," Franky mused.
There were murmurs of agreement from everyone except Zoro.
"Something wrong, Shithead?" Sanji asked.
There was a pause as Zoro glared at Sanji before he said, "I don't know that story, okay? Got a problem with that, Pervert?"
Nami placed a hand on Sanji's shoulder before he could start another fight. "What stories do you know?" she asked.
"I don't know. Seven Swordsmen was pretty popular at the dojo."
"Sorry, bro. Never heard of it."
"What about The White Snow of Yuletide?" Copper asked.
"Nope."
"Sorry."
"Can't say I'm familiar, no."
"Oh this is ridiculous! Let's get Usopp over here, I'll babysit Luffy and he can come up with something," Nami fumed.
"Nami, we need a story that we all know, not something that Usopp will make up. Remember, we need to be ready tonight," Robin said.
"And you've gotta sing," Franky snickered.
"Fine. Is there any story that we all know?" Nami snapped. As one, the group all turned to Robin for an answer.
Looking over them Robin realized what the problem was. Each of them had grown up with stories familiar to their home oceans, or perhaps even specific islands. For their performance, she would have to think of a story so grand it was easily known throughout the world.
"Well," Robin began after a moment's hesitation, "We can always do the execution of Gold Roger."
"That's not a happy story at all." Chopper said.
"But it is. He inspired the Great Pirate Age; think about it, if not for Roger none of us would be here."
Sanji nodded his head. "Yeah, besides, it's new enough that Brook probably hasn't heard it yet."
"It's settled then. We're doing Gold Roger then," Nami said decisively.
"Luffy can be the lead…"
"Or possibly Vice Admiral Garp," Robin said slyly.
"Whatever, we've just got to be quick about it. There's only a few hours left until sundown.
"Wealth. Fame. Power. Gold Roger, the King of the Pirates, had attained this and everything else the sea had to offer. His dying words drove countless men out to sea." Usopp said dramatically.
"You want my treasure!" Luffy exclaimed, not at all bothered by his fake handcuffs. "You can have it! I've left everything I have in One Piece!"
Sanji and Zoro "pierced" their oversized swords into Luffy, who flailed around before sticking his tongue out and "dying".
Usopp groaned. "One place, not One Piece. Get it right, idiot," he said under his breath before resuming his narration. "Ahem. These words drove men to the Grand Line in pursuit of dreams greater than they dare imagine! This is the time known as the Great Pirate Era!"
Chopper and Nami ran a long sheet over a wire, blocking off their makeshift stage. Robin stepped out into the spotlight that Franky was manning. She decisively ignored the thumbs up he gave and took a deep, shaky breath.
"When you're lost and alone, I can always hear your voice. While you wander far from home, gazing up at the sky," she sang. Robin tried not to look at Brook. It was too embarrassing. This is important to him, she reminded herself. Belatedly Robin realized that had she taken a more active part of the nearly daily sing-a-longs she might not be in this situation now.
"Don't give up on your dreams. Through endless nights that come to you. Again and again, till you see the journey through. You may not return, I hope that you'll learn to put your past behind and keep moving on." Robin finished before ducking off stage.
Franky turned the spotlight off, and Brook gave a standing ovation. The rest of the crew came out and gave their bows.
"Bravo, bravo!" Brook exclaimed. He looked absolutely delighted, his skeletal grin larger than usual.
"Yeah, we're awesome!" Luffy whooped as he tore off his fake mustache that he had worn throughout the play.
"The things I do for my crew," Nami said. There was no menace in her voice, and Robin suspected that she had enjoyed herself. Suppressing a chuckle, Robin began to help Nami tear down their stage.
Brook broke off his conversation with Usopp and came over to them. Taking advantage of his height he reached up and took down the wire that had been used for the backdrops.
"Thank you," he said softly.
"Think nothing of it," Robin replied.
"I don't think you know how much this means to me," he said, voice thick with emotion.
Robin smiled and looked up at their musician. Not long ago Brook had been alone on a broken ship, aimlessly drifting at sea. Had it not been for Luffy it was quite possible that the loneliness would have driven him insane.
"I think I understand more than you know."
Brook just shook his head, before his eye sockets brightened. "But you do have a beautiful voice, Miss Robin. If you are adamant about not showing me your panties, I must insist that you sing more often!"
"If you insist," Robin agreed, chuckling softly. After all, if it were for the benefit of a crew member Robin was willing to do almost everything.
Although she drew the line at opera.
AN: Special 3 is pretty funny, and if you can't actually watch it the One Piece wiki has a pretty good picture of Robin's acting skills.
The song is from the fifth ending, which is sung by Robin's voice actress in the English dub.