Chapter 12

'Friends Forever'

"I longed for her, divine under the moonlight, eyes glimmering like the stars, lips as sweet as the forbidden nectar and I wept. For a goddess could never love a mortal"

"Is there somebody else? Is that what this is about?"

Eyes that she used to love now look at her accusingly. Now there's anger and she used to fear them. Well, not anymore.

"No, it's not. It's me, it's you and this toxic air between us," she answers without missing a beat, her voice steady and calm.

"I can't do this anymore, Matt. I'm sorry."

"You and me? Are you sure about that? When here you are choosing your beloved producer over me?" he spits out, jaw flexing and veins growing visible in compressed rage.

"You better chose your next words carefully," her eyes suddenly flash with anger, anger at his jab at the one person whose soul is as beautiful as a melody so ethereal. She doesn't deserve to be caught up in this.

He's acting up like he had been unfairly treated just because she wouldn't do what he wants. So he aims his attack on someone else.

Someone so dear to her.

This was about them. Him. He doesn't see it, where they've gone wrong. Where he's gone wrong.

He's pushed her buttons now and she tries to reign in whatever control she has left but it spills.

"Because right now I'd rather choose someone who actually cares about me and what I love than someone who just keeps using me out of his thirst for fame."

Someone who makes her feel weightless, free and safe, and not just a means to an end, a bridge he could use to reach the top.

A look of hurt paints her features at the thought. She wants to cry but she holds it in. He doesn't deserve her tears. Not anymore.

"That's not what—"

"Oh please stop, let's not kid ourselves here. I did everything for you. I gave up—" she pauses, swallowing down the lump in her throat. What use is it to bring it up anyway?

"I gave up so much just to prove to you that I'm here to stay for the long run. I've given so much to the point that I don't know who I am anymore but you… you wouldn't do the same," she slowly shakes her head. "And still you want more…" she sucks in all the air she can, reminding herself to hold on.

"This right here, this is your answer," she stamps down. "I'm tired of it, all your twisted words and manipulating ways. I'm done," she breathes out, a sardonic smile on her face.

"You can have the apartment. We both paid for it. But I'm leaving with my car. I bought it after all," she grabs the car keys amidst his shouts of protests.

He reminds her of a child throwing a tantrum.

Without even flinching at the sound of crashing and breaking, she heads for the door, pausing when he starts throwing things at the wall and shouting nonsense threats.

"Don't hurt yourself," she coldly says before casually picking up the cat crate by the door.

"Let's go, Mallows. It's too dusty in here."

"So, it's like live sessions. More intimate and up close. Tickets will be limited so people are going to be fighting for that. We can shoot a short advertisement for it," Chloe says as she walks with Beca into the Amplify building.

The producer takes off her sunglasses as soon as they are covered from the morning sun, eyes zooming to the open elevator. She nods to Chloe's words, deep in thought.

"We can use some old live footage and maybe a promo video with our artist. We'll then post it on all our social media. See what the public thinks of it. Also we need to update our website," Chloe continues as Beca enters the elevator, holding the door open as she waits for her to get in.

It's not unusual how she hands Beca a wrapped sandwich and coffee in a to-go cup. Or maybe how the brunette shields her from getting pushed by some employees getting out the floor beneath theirs.

Chloe's skin burns at the touch. She ends up standing behind Beca, that familiar scent of perfume draws her closer, close enough to hug her from behind.

She fights the urge to lean forward.

The elevator's bell softly rings as they reach their floor and Chloe's crashes back to reality.

It's been almost two months since she's realized that it wasn't just admiration.

Two months since she's realized that being friends with Beca Mitchell has hindered her from acting on those very feelings. Ironically, the friendship she wanted from the start has become her downfall.

The thought of losing Beca's friendship by confessing her growing feelings for her now scares Chloe. If Beca only sees her as a friend, her heart might not take it and things will never be the same again.

Still, she can't stop. How could she not feel anything for her?

Beca, as it turns out, is very enjoyable to be with. They may have opposite personalities but when it comes to preferences, they find that they compliment each other well. So well, it's almost perfect.

Beca loves animals, eating and music. The three things that Chloe considers important in life. Beca is left handed while Chloe is right handed and she's stopped herself several times from thinking about how convenient it is to hold hands—or play the piano together. Beca doesn't put too much sugar on her coffee which means Chloe doesn't worry about forgetting to ask the barista for an extra packet. Beca believes Chloe can reach for anything she wants if she puts her mind in to it and encourages her to grow by putting her often in charge of projects, trusting her decisions now more than ever. Chloe's advices are always taken seriously and given much thought.

Mallows loves Beca and Bella loves Chloe. Even their cats deem their compatibility perfect.

Chloe remembers having Beca and Mallows meet. It only took seconds for Beca to win his heart—they stared at each other for almost half a minute before Mallows lets out a meow and then Beca, in all seriousness, softly answers, I like you too, you little shit. The feeling is very mutual and it has come to a point that Chloe's gotten jealous of her own cat for receiving all of the brunette's affections.

They step out the elevator, Beca letting her out first as she holds the door before following after her.

"I want that ad materialized in paper and tell CR to update the website with all the new schedules," Beca tells her as she takes off her coat and hangs it on her office chair. "Also, I need you to contact our potential sponsors," she adds as Chloe nods.

Jesse steps in next to her and Beca's attention draws towards him as he informs her of a cancelled meeting.

Chloe takes it as her cue to leave, walking towards her own table, now much more personalized than before. A collage of pictures decorate the small space in a corner. Photos of her family, the gang in one of their last Friday of the month get-togethers, the photo of her, CR and Jesse goofing around at the music festival event and lastly, two precious photos of her and Beca. The brunette wasn't even looking at one of them, too focused on staring at her newly created playlist while the other was another bet that Beca had lost—she made her wear matching red heart shaped glasses while holding huge blue soft serve ice-cream swirls.

Chloe smiles at the photos until it slowly fades on her lips, a thought settling heavily in her mind.

Beca seems happier now. Her heart free from all the burden it had carried for so long and Chloe knows that her secret feelings for the producer might just become that, another burden to carry.

Chloe, for the first time in her life, doesn't act on her heart's desires. Not because she doesn't want to but for fear that she might ruin everything. She's built and destroyed brick walls one after the other for years and it gets to you sometimes, that maybe all she ever does ends like that, build weak foundations and end up destroying them at the first onslaught of a storm. A familiar cycle. So she fears tainting the one good thing she's got and it's those calm dark blue eyes.

Beca is so important to her, so special and Chloe cares for her deeply. Deep enough to suppress the growing desire to be with her in a more intimate way.

Loving someone just isn't enough. Love's just a part of it.

Chloe cares too much and that's why she deems that hurting Beca in any way is the last thing she wants to do.

That's what makes Beca so different from all those who have come before her.

This time, Chloe's never been more sure.

This time, she's submerged in waters too deep to come out of, deeper than ever before.

And again, it scares her.

But then forever isn't just about being in a romantic relationship. Forever can also happen between friends and right now Chloe's willing to settle with 'just friends' if that's what it takes for her not to lose her beloved angel.

"Five minutes," Beca mumbles, eyes glued at her computer screen as she types and Chloe shakes her head, a fond smile on her face.

The office is empty now and only the two of them are left but Chloe isn't that keen on heading home unlike the other employees. It's past official office hours and that just means she can fiddle around Beca's table without getting glared at.

Silently, she reaches for the ladybug keychain in her pocket and attaches it to the zipper of Beca's black designer handbag. She smiles as she proudly watches it dangle at the side.

"What are you up to?" Beca suddenly asks, inquisitive eyes that almost make her heart stop look up her way. Chloe quickly shakes her head in reply.

"Nothing. Why would I be up to something?" she replies, her tone high and a smile breaking her lips. Very suspicious enough for Beca to raise an eyebrow.

"You're being quiet which is rare. When you're quiet it means you are up to something and when you are up to something I am usually the victim," Beca replies in a matter of fact tone, eyeing her sharply while Chloe gasps in mock outrage.

"Can't I be quiet just for the sake of being quiet? And when have I put you in harm's way? I would never!" she bursts out indignantly.

"Not when your name is Chloe Beale and like, all the time," Beca answers, a smirk creeping in the corner of her lips and Chloe playfully throws a crumpled paper ball at her.

"If there was an example of friend abuse this would be it," Beca continues, dodging the attack as Chloe reaches for another sheet of used paper.

"You're fired if you throw something at me again."

She throws it right at her face anyway, chuckling as she successfully hits her mark.

"I hate you," Beca mutters amidst her laughter.

"With passion?"

"With burning passion," comes the dramatic reply.

Chloe almost falls off her seat from laughing. Beca's genuine smile etched into her memory. She'd do whatever it takes to bring it out again and again. Even if she has to play the idiot to do so because god, it's worth it.

Minutes later, they are heading down the elevator and out the building. The air is getting cooler with the approaching winter season and it only dissolves her struggle to resist moving closer to Beca.

Beca is warm, she always is and Chloe keeps unconsciously being pulled into that warmth like moth to a flame.

The lady bug key chain remains dangling on the zipper of producer's bag. Beca fondly plays with it in the car and Chloe hides her smile as she looks out the streets they pass by.

They have dinner in what has become their favorite restaurant and it's always a good time. Chloe's chest is light and her heart fluttering with happiness like never before.

They are sitting closer now and how easy it is to forget about everything else.

Music drifts around and it's such a beautiful feeling to have all your favorites right there with you.

Their shoulders constantly bump, her fingers unconsciously doodling circles on the skin of Beca's wrist and Beca doesn't mind. Chloe wished she did. Then it wouldn't be so hard to forget where the lines start and end.

But this much is enough, right?

Having Beca by her side. It's enough.

Is it?

Or maybe that's what she keeps telling herself.

Dine outs turn into stay ins and Chloe finds herself spending too much time at Beca's place. Ironically, she's gone from having to beg and offer service in exchange of staying over, to being the one being offered to stay and be fed. Beca, surprisingly, knows how to cook and she remembers the shock her entire system had when she got to taste said cooking.

"Why do you eat take out when you're qualified to enter Masterchef?" she sputters in amazement while Beca shakes her head at the exaggeration.

"It's just Beef Broccoli, psycho," Beca answers in a calmer tone as she sets the dish in a, unsurprisingly, very organized manner.

She holds back the comment threatening to roll out her tongue. The one where she points out that Beca's kitchen now looks used rather than a decoration for display.

Chloe cooks like a hurricane came through the kitchen. Beca cooks like a host on the Lifestyle channel. They both put their heart in to it though and somehow Chloe finds that eating with Beca becomes ten times more delicious no matter what is being served.

It's very refreshing to be the one being cooked for this time. Her mind betrays her as it wanders to thoughts of warm breakfasts, cozy dinners and kisses as sweet as honey in between.

She snaps out of it quickly. It felt too good. Too enticing, living in that world.

No, this was enough. Having Beca in front of her, talking about putting Bella on a diet and something about ordering a set of feather soft pillows online, is enough.

Is it?

She blames her struggle on all on the unguarded moments Beca keeps showing her. Unconsciously, the brunette's soft side leaks out whenever they are together that Chloe feels like she's being pampered and well taken care of. Perhaps Beca doesn't even realize it. That Stacie had been right all along.

Beca is a sweetheart behind closed doors. A sweetheart who deserves to be given a beautiful bouquet of blue flowers at her table every week and maybe that's excessive but Chloe doesn't care.

It makes sense to her now what the rest of their friends meant about the Beca Chloe should've met years ago all along. Why they seem so protective of her. Constantly watching out over her even if they don't act like it.

Beca Mitchell's heart is pure, gentle and selfless. She can easily fool people with that cold exterior yet the truth remains. Beca deep inside is too soft. Too giving and too caring.

But life can be cruel and people like Beca are easy targets. Golden hearts are quickly susceptible to being broken and harshly wounded once easily handed in the wrong hands.

Rachelle may have made Beca realize this fact and the harsh façade Beca had carried afterwards was rather, a defense mechanism for fear of having to suffer the same fate again. It was that same fear that somehow fueled their initial conflict.

Hostility out of fear. She had been scared. Beca probably doesn't even know it. That she might have been scared of Chloe and what kind of fate would fall upon her fragile heart once placed in her hands.

And maybe Beca had every right to be so because that's exactly what happened.

The image of the brunette walking away from her at the Hilton on a quiet Saturday night. Beautiful yet sad. Melancholic yet calm. Hurting yet accepting.

Painfully unrequited.

Chloe had done the same thing others before her had done to Beca's heart.

Let it fall.

Once is enough.

Beca still criticizes every horror movie Chloe picks, groaning about stupid plots, dumb characters, Chloe's messy eating and obvious depressing endings.

The problem is, Chloe's stopped caring about the movie halfway through. Her attention constantly falling back to the brunette next to her.

Unlike before, she's not as excited to watch people being chased by mysterious entities or deranged killers anymore. All she thinks about now is the scent of Beca's shampoo, how close they are despite the size of Beca's L-shaped sofa or… wondering what flavor Beca's lipbalm tastes like.

She mentally slaps herself over and over again.

It's wrong to think of those things about your friend. Best friend.

They watch a sci-fi movie next. It's something about outer space and aliens. There's action, adventure, comedy and, well, a love story in between all of it.

When she looks back at Beca, she finds her asleep, head rolled to the side, against a pillow, an inch away from Chloe's shoulder.

She smiles at the way the producer, adorably, still manages to hold the popcorn bowl in her lap and Beca's ability to sleep through a loud action packed scene—Stacie once said that Beca has slept through an intensity five earthquake, inside a club, at a stadium in the middle of an NBA finals game, a school while waiting to pick up Aubrey's seven year old nephew and in every single mode of transportation. The brunette's ability to sleep just about anywhere is also rather worrying and now Chloe always feels the need to make sure she's safe.

Interestingly, Beca has awakened Chloe's protective side and now she fears forgetting that her protectiveness over the brunette has its limits.

She's not yours.

The female protagonist hugs the male protagonist in the film after the climax of the movie and Chloe unconsciously moves a strand of dark brown locks away Beca's face. She's extra gentle as she does it, fingers lingering on smooth skin until it settles back on Beca's hair, tenderly brushing soft strands in a hypnotizing manner.

Beca is exactly that, hypnotizing. The way she walks, the way she talks, her subtle mannerisms and moments like this where she feels safe enough to sleep next to her.

It's… too much.

The two movie characters move closer, faces inches apart but Chloe's focus has long been lost to long eyelashes, the curve of pale smooth skin and slightly parted soft lips.

Then she stops thinking. A huge mistake she'd come to realize as those very lips she deems sinful are pressed ever so tenderly against her own.

Electricity shoots through her veins and Chloe's pulling back in a flash as the realization sets in. The room becomes stifling, blood rushes up her head and she quickly stands up, leaving the sleeping brunette as she hurriedly enters the bathroom.

Inside the small four walled room, her heartbeats sound like a fast pounding drum as she leans on the door, breathing heavily as she tries to calm herself.

She questions her actions and yet only one thought keeps coming back.

She's taken advantage of Beca.

With all these bold thoughts of keeping Beca safe and forging sincere friendships, Chloe had forgotten the one great danger that could hurt her.

She had forgotten to protect Beca from herself.

A mixture of conflict and frustration builds inside her chest as she looks down at her hands. Those careless hands that keep breaking and wrecking havoc. Guilt sits heavily on her chest.

Not even Bella, who had been lounging on top the toilet's seat cover and gone down to press her nose on Chloe's face, could console her.

The truth screams loud and clear, the sweet addicting taste that remains on her lips makes Chloe a bad friend.

The worst friend.

An evil psycho.

"This is… interesting."

Chloe's eyes wander around the bar, taking in the lights and sounds before falling back to the round of colorful cocktails being served on their table. Retro disco beats blare all around the upscale place as patrons dance under bright neon lights at the elevated center stage.

"Take it as an initiation to our beloved community. A sacred right of passage," Stacie says as she places an arm around Chloe's shoulder, motioning at the entirety of the bar.

A gay bar.

Glittering rainbow colored confetti gets thrown her way, courtesy of Tessa whose grin hasn't left her face since they entered the establishment, so are her transparent rainbow glasses which she had proudly purchased for the last LA pride.

On her left, Aubrey sits back casually, legs crossed as she flicks away confetti from the rim of her glass. It doesn't escape Chloe that Stacie's eyes unabashedly keep coming back to the blonde's exposed legs.

How they all ended up in this particular place Chloe certainly had no idea. What she does know is that introducing Tessa to Aubrey and Stacie has dragged Chloe's ass to this bar on a Saturday night. Her three friends had surprisingly bonded easily as if they'd been friends for years.

She had an inkling that finally telling Tessa about her certain attraction to an alluring brunette, who to them still remains unnamed, would somehow end up with the four of them getting together like this.

Stacie proclaims that she's had a 'feeling' from the start which was why she hadn't been so surprised at the admission. One that happened to accidentally slip out when she unexpectedly came around the house a week ago—Stacie has a key to Aubrey's house which Chloe doesn't need to question why. The fashion designer is always around that she might as well live in Casa de Posen.

So far everything is fun, the music is good, no drunk douche bags trying to harass her or any unwanted advances that she sometimes gets at the regular bars. The bartenders and waiters have all been really friendly—also maybe because Tessa keeps introducing her around as a baby unicorn which still baffles her.

At this point of the night, Chloe has already been given three free drinks from the bar that warmly and clearly says 'Welcome to the rainbow community'. There's been some group singing and more glitter. It should feel overwhelming but she's honestly just enjoying everything, taking it all in much better than expected.

It still feels new, all this, but Chloe also feels like she's part of something now. There's still no labels attached to her or if whether she'd even choose one. She's still attracted to men though. She still finds some of her male celebrity crushes swoon worthy.

As for the women, well…

A name and face pops in her head all of a sudden. The noise in her mind intensifies as she catches two girls kissing openly by the corner of the bar.

"So this girl…" Tessa's voice cuts her thoughts abruptly and Chloe quickly draws her eyes away from the couple to her friend.

The topic suddenly makes Chloe aware of Aubrey's burning stare at the side of her face and Stacie's piqued interest with the way she pauses mid sip.

"What makes her special? Because she's got to be a goddess for finally awakening beautiful female loving feelings out of you," her friend continues and Chloe knows that tone.

Tessa, who usually is so straightforward, is being cautious this time, trying to tread lightly on the subject by not questioning the identity of her special friend directly. Chloe knows that if she refuses to give anything tonight, her friend would never push further.

However, this weight in her chest has only seemed to grow heavy as time passes and confessing to Aubrey months ago had somehow lifted that weight even for a little while.

She doesn't really have to reveal everything. Just a little slice of it perhaps. Maybe she's had three, four cocktails in her system and still, that sweet after taste of her lips lingers on Chloe's lips.

"She's… precious."

The word tumbles out of her even before she could process her answer. It's the truth though and very fitting of Beca even if generally, a lot of people wouldn't agree considering that none of them really know the real Beca.

She is precious.

Thoughts of the brunette only evoke more words out her lips. It felt freeing after having to compress them inside her chest for this long.

"We share the same taste in music. Actually, we share the same taste in almost everything that it just makes me wonder... why I hadn't met her earlier. I can talk to her for hours and yet sometimes we can just stay quiet together—which is rare because most of the time I use so much effort trying to keep a conversation rolling. With her, it's never uncomfortable. Just that feeling of being content and… safe. She's saved me so many times, to be honest. Without her, I wouldn't even be here with you guys. She's always sincere, always so gentle and… sweet. And her smile, god her smile!" the image of a carefree Beca passes her mind and it evokes a smile out of her own lips.

"Rare and truly beautiful. She's adorable in the morning like a sleepy puppy but very focused and tough when it comes to work. She's so passionate in everything she does it's... very… alluring."

She's been unconsciously carried away by dark ocean blues that when she comes back down, she finally hears Tessa's astounded 'Wow' and quickly covers it up with a laugh and prepares the words that would make her body feel numb.

"We're better off as friends though," she brushes off immediately. "It's just a… a crush."

Is it?

"What if she likes you more than just a friend?" Stacie suddenly says, not a single ounce of that natural playfulness in her voice, eyes staring at her in all seriousness. It's almost weird.

"How often do you two hang out together?"

"I see her everyday—well, almost everyday. We… go out and eat dinner. Nothing more than that—just dinner and movies, and—"

"Is she like that with her other friends?"

"Uhm, well," Chloe struggles, a little taken off guard at the sudden barrage of questions yet she pulls through even if the alcohol in her system flowing up to her head makes it a challenge. "I don't know. I think so—I mean she's generally a really great friend and it's just that we happen to see each other a lot—"

"Is she dating anyone at the moment?"

"She's been in a bad break-up… before… with a girl… but I don't think—I don't know—"

"What if she feels the same way?"

The question comes again, shooting right at her heart. Her heart rate spiking up that she's sure she's about to combust. Both Aubrey and Tessa are silent, heads only looking back and forth at the both of them.

"I don't think she would—I mean, she once told me…" she trails off, words hanging in the air.

"That she did have feelings for you," this time it's Aubrey who fills in the silence and it takes Chloe back months ago when she confided to the blonde.

It feels like ages ago. Oh how things had changed.

"Wait, say what again?" Tessa asks, surprise evident in her tone as she leans forward, interest spiking up. Apparently, Chloe hadn't exactly included this part with her—or with Stacie.

"It's been a while now. Almost four months. She looks… happier."

Words fail her again and now she badly needs another drink. Something stronger than a cocktail.

"You think she's moved on," Stacie supplies the correct words for her and suddenly her chest stings.

"I rejected her," she says, almost in a whisper, the sting spreads now like water spilling all over her body. Tessa's ridiculous 'You did what now?!' doesn't escape her.

"I was with Matt." She softly answers and Tessa makes a face. She's never liked him.

"So you think it's too late?" Stacie speaks again and Chloe feels like she's being opened layer by layer.

Is it?

Something rips and bleeds inside her. It claws it's way out of her that it might as well leave a hole at the center of her chest.

She finally knows it now.

"I think… she deserves better." Her eyes start to sting at that but she reigns it in. Controls it.

"You must care about her that much to think that," Stacie finally muses, a frown in her face as she goes back to her drink and it leaves something hanging heavily up in the air.

It's more than just a crush.

"Are you sure about it though?" Stacie asks again and this time Chloe's brows furrow.

"Of what?"

"Letting her walk away from you and into somebody else's arms."

"I…"

"Chloe, she's not Matt or anybody else you've been with. What if it works? From what I just heard, it's obvious that you she makes you happy. Are you really willing to let this one go? Because… if you think she deserves better then clearly, you know that breaking her heart is the last thing you'd ever do and that amount of care, that is precious."

Thirty-five. It takes only thirty-five seconds for Beca to open the door. Chloe had been counting as she leans at the side of the lonely hall. Head heavy, eyes barely struggling to open and body wanting to shut down from the alcohol. But she holds herself up, waiting patiently for thirty-five seconds.

It felt like an eternity.

Then she's there, clearly already having retired to bed before she opened the door with the way her eyes quickly blink away the sleep at the sight of her.

"Chlo?"

Beca's voice is husky as she speaks. It shakes her heart.

A lazy smile breaks in Chloe's lips and slowly she leans forward, leaving the sturdy wall for something much better.

Warm inviting arms.

She slowly wraps Beca in an embrace, eyes closing as she breathes in her favorite scent. Beca's scent.

"Seriously? We're doing this again?" Beca sighs on her shoulder, the sound of the door closing behind her makes Chloe tighten her embrace.

Beca doesn't move, doesn't stiffen like last time, doesn't push her away, arms holding her steady.

"You're my favorite," Chloe softly says, tongue loose from the alcohol in her bloodstream.

"Only you."

She means it. The words tumbling out straight from her heart and soul.

She hears a soft yawn and feels gentle hands resting at the small of her back.

Now the hug feels even warmer. She clings tighter, unwilling to let go.

"I better be after having to put up with this for three times now," Beca sleepily answers, sighing again. Chloe feels her straighten up a bit after a second though.

"Everything alright?" Beca asks and Chloe hears the concern in her tone.

The last time she's pulled a stunt like this was because of an, according to Tessa, exhausting and emotionally abusive ex-boyfriend who clearly didn't deserve her tears.

"I just wanted to see you, that's all."

"Psycho."

The nickname brings a smile on her lips.

"Sorry, I can't help it." She apologizes, the meaning running deeper than what she had intended. Her lips taste sweet peppermint and she shuts her eyes tight at the memory.

Beca doesn't know that though. Of the sin she gravely committed.

"Alright, alright. Let's go over to the bed before you pass out. I'm not physically dragging your heavy ass again," Beca mumbles, slowly untangling herself from Chloe's hold.

She frowns at the loss of warmth yet still nods obediently, letting Beca pull her by the hand towards the room.

She falls down ungracefully on the bed moments later, eyes closed as sleep starts to pull her away from reality.

"I'm just glad it's not Amy or Flo, or god, Stacie, drunk knocking at my door," she hears Beca mutter before letting her know that she's about to take off Chloe's shoes and her coat.

She nods sleepily.

"Because I'd definitely pass out first." A pause then, "What is it about my house that makes you drunk kids come over at the middle of the night?"

Chloe almost feel Beca shake her head in disbelief.

There's pillows being shuffled around and Beca nudges her to move further from the edge, her head finally finding relief as she lays on soft pillows. Something is being tugged around her before she feels herself encased underneath warm covers.

It is then that dread sinks down her stomach at a bothering thought. She blindly reaches out to where she feels Beca's arm is, eyes half open as she grasps on to it with what little strength she has left.

"Don't leave me," she pleads softly, her voice almost breaking at the emotions that betray her. Stacie's words earlier echoing inside her head.

The lack of response grips her with fear until the mattress dips down next to her, Beca's wrist still captured by her hold.

That familiar cozy warmth blooms next to her again and because Beca is her magnet, she curls up closer to that warmth, reveling in the highest level of comfort she has ever felt in her life.

Stacie's words hit her again at the last moment and Chloe tightens her hold on Beca, pulling her closer until she could almost hear Beca's heartbeat. It lulls her to sleep, making the awful feelings down her chest disappear.

The last thing she feels are gentle hands massaging her scalp and slowly rubbing her back.

This should be enough to curb the longing in her heart.

Is it?

Morning brings a dry throat and a headache.

Chloe squints her eyes as she wakes up, trying to adjust to the brightness.

Once she finds Bella perched on her stomach and eyeing her curiously, she finally realizes that she's at Beca's place. That piece of information wakes her up with a jolt—sending poor Bella abruptly jumping out the bed. She apologizes with a soft scratch on the cat's head.

Looking around, she finds her coat hanging on a chair, her shoes in a corner and a bottle of coconut water at the bedside table. She takes gulps of the liquid in no time before wearily trudging towards the bathroom, rubbing her face before groaning at her appearance on the bathroom's mirror.

She tentatively takes a peek minutes later outside the bedroom before following the music—and delicious smell—that certainly comes from the kitchen.

The image she sees makes her genuinely smile despite the hangover.

Beca with her back turned to her is again cooking what seems to be breakfast while Bella who now sits on top a counter near the fridge looks at the brunette, probably demanding her own breakfast or a share of that bacon.

It's even adorable how Beca lets Bella smell every ingredient before using it, as if asking her if everything is in good quality.

This makes her imagine a scenario where her own cat Mallows joins the picture. Lounging lazily, probably on top of the fridge or near Beca's feet.

Now she thinks that's exactly what a perfect morning should look like. It's too beautiful and that makes her heart clench because… it'll only be that, an imagination.

Or maybe…

The thought lingers on her mind. The possibilities, if only she would take that step. Chloe had always been bold, taking the first initiative, reckless once her heart takes over. She has never treaded carefully like this.

Until Beca.

Stacie's words ring in her ear like warning bells.

Beca in somebody else's arms.

Her heart beats furiously, rivalling the incessant banging her headache brings.

"Oh look Bella, no need to bury a body. She's alive," Beca deadpans as she turns to her, two plates ready on both her hands before she places them on the kitchen island.

Chloe snaps out of her dilemma as she moves closer, taking a seat as she looks at the sumptuous breakfast in front of her. To top that off, Beca places a white mug which Chloe seemed to have claimed as her own whenever she drops by during their usual sleepovers and casual hang outs—she tries not to think too much about how it comes in a set with Beca's black mug. The matching black and white mugs are designed with cute cartoon sketches of a sleeping kitten in each cup that when placed side by side complete a photo of two snuggling kittens and words scribbled in loopy handwriting underneath it read: Kitten Cuddles.

Her coffee is just the way she takes it, with lots of milk and sugar. Her feelings spreading all over the place at the fact that Beca truly cares to notice all the small things about her. Even Chloe's favorite songs from her morning playlist are being softly played at the background.

It dawns on her just how much she craved for something like this. Being cared for in a way that leaves no room for doubt. In the past it was always her. Being the sweetest, showing more affection and doing everything to please people who only end up abusing and leaving her. She had never realized just how badly she sought validation among her relationships for fear that she isn't doing enough.

She almost melts and tears up right then and there if Beca hadn't caught her attention.

"Chlo?" Ocean blue looks at her in concern, a soft hand placed on top of her own. "Are you alright? Do you feel like throwing up? Do you want to eat something else? I can order online if you want… or get a plastic bag if you can't hold it in anymore?"

That makes her even want to cry more.

She doesn't know how to handle this. To be on the receiving end of such care and undivided attention.

So she lets out a laugh instead because how else is she going to approach this? Crying will only make Beca panic. She's observed how the brunette tends to grow extremely awkward in emotional situations.

So laughing it is. Maybe she's lost it now. Became a full fledge deranged psychopath. Maybe this is her grand 'oh' moment—well, second grand 'oh' moment since the first happened back at the music festival.

"Don't worry it's stuck in some pipe down here," she manages to say, motioning down her throat whilst wiping tears in the corner of her eyes—she's not even sure if it was happy tears, sad tears or overwhelming emotional tears.

Beca sighs. "Why are we friends again?"

"You lost a bet."

"Right," Beca groans as if she had fallen into the worst situation in the world.

This makes Chloe whine in protest, quickly pulling the brunette into a hug because right now, it's all she craves for.

"You stink," Beca says as she makes a face yet she doesn't let go of Chloe, her arm remaining right there, lightly wrapped around her waist.

It makes her hope. Hope for something beyond whatever they have right now.

Maybe… it's not too late.

She pulls away despite the desire to stay in the hug longer, clearing her throat as she prepares to take that very step she thought she'd never take.

"Becs…" she hesitates for a moment as Beca's attention falls back towards her. Dark blues searching hers once more. She looks elsewhere, hoping to muster the courage by not directly looking into those mesmerizing eyes.

"Would you… Are you free on Friday—"

Beca's phone rings at that crucial moment and Chloe's heart sinks at the sudden interference. It took months to sort out her feelings, had even spiraled into some sort of sexuality crisis—which she is still steadily spiraling in, to be honest—and then finally building up the courage to act on said feelings only to be interrupted, by a damn phone call.

The ringing is incessant and when Beca checks the caller, the reaction is unexpected. Her hand quickly swipes over to snatch the device on the table lying between their plates. There's a look on her friend's face which she can't place and Chloe's curiosity grows even more.

It's a girl. Mina. Just one name. Nothing big if you don't know that Beca's contacts are written in complete names along with keywords to familiarize with like a company name or position. An example would be: Ben Fieldswell, Solar Media Rep.

The only people in Beca's phone that she deems personal and important are listed in their appropriate nicknames which is basically Beca's family and their little gang of weirdos, as Beca calls them.

Beca excuses herself, looking distracted and flustered—which doesn't happen often—and moves to get up. A first ever since they officially became friends.

The transparency between them is quite seamless given that Chloe is not only a friend but a workmate. All of Beca's business calls are obviously shared with Chloe since most of them are regarding marketing, promotions and all of the projects they are working on.

Outside work, they share the same group of friends. It is rare that an acquaintance Chloe hasn't met yet calls out of the blue. As for Beca's family, well, Chloe's met them through video calls that Beca makes every now and then—Beca's mother adores her because she still believes she's Beca's girlfriend. Beca's father keeps inviting her to Maine for the holidays. While Beca's little brother keeps sending her movie suggestions or songs from his band in college. He also keeps suggesting that she marry his sister and he is not being subtle about it all.

'You know Beca… she's kinda' anti-social but I'm pretty sure there's some redeemable qualities in that rock. I mean, she can cook, she has a fancy job like you, she can be sweet at times and has an ass which I can kick if she is being mean to you'

'Oh! And dad says you should visit Maine. Mom will cook her Sunday special for you! Also, Mitchell ain't a bad surname, right? Right?'

Chloe's never heard of a Mina before. It doesn't feel right. There's dread in her gut but she tries to dismiss it. All she cares about is finally picking up something so important which she might have let fall months ago. Her bouncing leg shows her anxiety.

Beca answers the call as soon as she stands up and the words out of her lips make Chloe freeze.

"Hey." The tone was soft, said almost the same way she talks to Chloe after office hours.

"Oh, no, no I'm not. I… I was just… having breakfast—You?"

Something twists badly in Chloe's chest.

Beca walks away further. Her words becoming incoherent the more distance she makes.

Away from her

The signs are all there, loud and clear. It wasn't about business with the lightly flustered look on Beca's face. It wasn't family with the way she seems to keep it a secret from her. It could be a friend but…

Beca doesn't talk like that to friends.

Friends, right, that's what they are, best friends even, and now it is plain obvious that what Chloe thought might become more was not really what it seemed. Because no, Beca doesn't ask Chloe what she had for breakfast in such a sweet way or answer the phone to her calls with a soft, 'Hey' that seems to convey so much meaning. It's mostly just a playful, 'You better not be late today' or 'Where are you?' or a yawn followed by an adorably sleepy 'I'm hungry. Bring food'. Her name on Beca's phone is 'Psycho' or 'My 3rd favorite friend' or 'Still A Newbie' and not a first name like… Mina.

This could be her third grand 'oh' moment. The part where she realizes that she was wrong and Beca has indeed walked too far away from her.

Unreachable

And when Chloe later tries to inject a teasing "So, Mina. Lovely name," and muster herculean effort not to break into pieces in Beca's beautiful kitchen she wishes she had not said anything at all.

Because a huge groan and a quick, "Please don't tell anyone. Especially Stacie. You know how they get when it comes to, you know… me and… relationshits."

Beca avoids her eyes as she says that she's trying to get out there again and Chloe is glad she did because her eyes cannot lie any longer and the hurt spilling out of it is immense.

"She's cool. I'm actually… meeting her again. A second date… on Friday," Beca admits before making her swear not to tell the group just yet because she knows they all are going to 'make a big deal out of it again'.

Of course, it's not Beca if she's not threatening to end her if she as much as says one word to the others about it.

Chloe laughs because really, what else is there to do when everything just starts to dim around you. Her words are empty and her chest hollow but she tries. Giving out a fake excuse that what she had meant earlier was only because she wanted to watch this musical on Friday night but had no one to drag along. Beca apologizes because obviously she can't join her.

She tries even harder not to cry— this time certainly out of sorrow and pain because it feels like the universe crashed upon her.

When she makes it back to Aubrey's, a scowl greets her. The blonde was just about ready to scold her for not answering her frantic messages and calls this morning when she realized that Chloe didn't go straight home after they left the club last night. Aubrey had spent the night at Stacie's which was why she had booked rides for both Tessa and Chloe so they could get home in one piece.

Only, Chloe asked the driver for a change of destination and gave Beca's address instead. She did leave Aubrey a message, but then she figures that a short, 'Somewhere safe' still didn't sound safe to Aubrey.

But when Chloe looks at her like she's seen the sun die and the moon slowly fade from the sky, Aubrey stops mid-rant.

And then and there waves of suppressed pain finally flow out of her as she crumbles in Aubrey's arms, harshly wiping away tears that might never seem to end.

"It's not enough," she breaks, voice cracking as sobs escape her chest.

"I want her. I want more than just this."

But it's too late

Author's Note:

Sorry?

Oh dear, it's friday again and here we go falling into a dark hole of tears and sorrow because we never learn. Chocolate Kisses and You cafe is now open for all your broken hearts. Free drinks for the unrequited hearts.

Thanks for the lovely, heartwarming comments. It's so good to hear from you and know that somehow you relate to the characters and the story. That means a lot because I wrote this straight out from my black rotten heart.

See you next friday, loves.