Chapter 14

'Ready. Set. Knock'

"Darling, I think I've run out of words,"

Chloe contemplates calling in sick even though she knows it is an excuse that will surely backfire. More importantly, she wonders if not going to work today is going to change anything.

Possibly not.

Either way, at the end of the day, she'll still be miserable.

She even contemplates calling Paris to accept her drinking your problems away and crying at an expensive bar offer. Only, it's six in the morning and she's sure the famous celebrity meant hanging late in the evening as one should when drinking alcohol.

Then again, Chloe eventually circles back to problem number one. Her plan will backfire, whether she likes it or not.

The minute she calls in sick—maybe even mention the word itself—Beca will surely come over. Chloe knows this for a fact because Jesse got sick weeks ago and Beca quickly dragged her and CR to their assistant producer's apartment to bring medicine and warm soup. Jesse also turns out to be a baby when sick—"My tummy has ouchies. Hold me, I need hugs!"

Beca coming over means that her temporary escape would be a failure.

So she contemplates not even calling, moving to discard her phone in the drawer but then it beeps with a notification for a new message popping up. She shouldn't even bother but it's the name of the sender that catches her attention and makes her pause.

Beca.

Her finger hovers above the preview message. The line reading: 'Morning sucks. Dying for caffeine. You better be awake…'

Chloe's heart betrays her and she's pressing the message to read it in full.

"Pick you up in an hour."

Chloe sighs at the words. Obviously, calling in sick to run away from your problems is a bust especially when said center of your problem is heading straight at her.

Then again, she could just drive off and literally, run off to wherever is far.

She groans, scrunching up her hair in frustration. She's gone crazy. This is madness.

After last night, Chloe finds that she's now unable to put a cover over her feelings. She's helplessly falling and she's falling really hard. Beca makes it so easy and Chloe is running out of excuses why one shouldn't kiss your friend when said friend turns out to be everything she was looking for all along. Ignoring it is only proving to be extremely difficult and now she fears that it's going to explode in her face.

A soft knock breaks her thoughts and in a second Aubrey's head tentatively peeks in through the door, seemingly having heard her sighing and groaning.

"Chlo? Are you alright?"

The question almost makes her cry because no, she's not. She hasn't been this past few months and she feels like nothing is making sense anymore.

So she looks up at her friend like someone died and shakes her head as an answer.

Aubrey steps in at that, concern evident in her face as she takes a seat next to her. A gentle hand on Chloe's arm feels like a silent question so Chloe gives an answer.

One, that she has kept hidden for so long.

"It's Beca," she confesses in a small tone.

"The girl I like, it's Beca," she says, this time with much certainty in her tone.

She looks down waiting for it. The shock, the questions and even the laughter but she gets none of it. Instead, all she gets is understanding eyes and a hug.

"I know."

Now it's Chloe who is in shock and her brows furrow at the revelation.

"How did… how did you—When—" she sputters not really knowing which to ask first.

Aubrey releases her and light green orbs bore straight at her. The blonde sighs.

"The way you look at her gives it away," Aubrey begins and Chloe realizes that she's been foolish to even think that she hasn't been obvious.

She's always been so easy to read.

"Every time we all hang out you stare at her like she's the only one in the room. You smile at her like she's Christmas morning and sunny beaches. These past few months both of you had been inseparable and when you two talked until the club shut down last time—which is rare for that anti-social sloth—I just had a feeling," Aubrey lightly laughs before she slowly reverts back to being serious.

"I know all the signs because I've been there," she continues, squeezing Chloe's hand.

"And also you were shooting fiery arrows with your eyes at that woman flirting with her at the bar before you dove in between them and dragged Beca away from her just to ask her if she wanted dessert," Aubrey slowly nods, eyes squinting at the memory and this time it's Chloe who lets out a laugh.

"Right. Guess I wasn't so subtle after all," she says before letting out another groan, burying her head in her hands.

"I don't know what to do, Bree. I'm caught in between doing what's right and doing what I want," she cries out miserably.

"And the right thing to do is be happy for her but the problem is, I can't exactly do that because I feel like… dying and I know how awful that is because a friend shouldn't feel this way," a lone tear rolls down her cheek.

"Friends. That's what I asked of her from the start and now I just want to tear that word apart. I want to just—" she stops abruptly as Aubrey hushes her to silence.

"Don't tell me. Tell her."

"But if I do everything's going to change—" she's hushed once more as Aubrey shakes her head.

"When Beca decides to keep you in her life, she means it and she will keep you in her life whether you like it or not," Aubrey smiles.

"To her, friendships are a big deal. You see, she didn't have any growing up, mainly because her parents struggled to get her in to a fancy school and making friends in that sort of environment far from what you are used to is quite… expensive. I mean, it's hard to relate to kids who talk about owning the latest gadgets and taking grand vacations out of the country," Aubrey explains and Chloe starts to connect the dots regarding Beca's hatred for upper-class social affairs—and the reason why she and Aubrey, whose family takes grand vacations since before she was born, butt heads from time to time.

"Everybody is fake. This industry is all about money and influence. So that is why you fake a smile, fawn about everything they've achieved or own and talk about money to gain connections. Earn favors," Beca had once told her at another Hollywood party as she motions at each person in the room and what topic they'd love to hear.

"What I'm trying to say is. The only way you are going to lose this friendship is if you let it and not telling your best friend, who values this friendship so much, what you truly feel is surely 'letting it'." Aubrey honestly tells her.

"Beca had been honest with you Chloe. She was from the very beginning. It's unfair that you keep this from her when she told you what she felt for you. And believe me, only by letting this out will you finally find peace."

It's time

"Coffee," Beca sighs in relief as their orders arrive and Chloe naturally smiles at the adorable burst of energy Beca has for said drink.

"God knows I need all the caffeine in my system before the madness starts," Beca mutters regarding their upcoming year-end Christmas event.

But before Chloe could even go about the details regarding said event, Beca stops her.

"Let's not talk about work just yet," Beca pleads as she dumps her sugar over at Chloe's latte and stirs it with a spoon just as she always does every morning.

Pathetic as it sounds, it never fails to make Chloe's heart flutter every time Beca does something like this, like it was natural.

It flutters whenever Beca obsessively wipes Chloe's spoon and fork with tissue at restaurants because 'you can never be too sure, Chlo'. It flutters when Beca reaches for her hand in a crowded place because Chloe has a tendency to bump into everything and everyone. It flutters when Beca doesn't let go even as the crowd lessens. It flutters when Beca unconsciously catches her habit of hugging and now hugs her every time they part. It flutters when Beca's desk now has traces of Chloe's touch everywhere—a ruby lady bug pin on her blouse, a lady bug key chain on her bag, a lady bug magnet pinned on her computer screen, a neck pillow with a hood that has cat ears on it, a yellow coffee mug, orange and green post its, a lady bug pen, blue flowers and most recently, a cool lady bug ring that Chloe had lied about not being expensive at all or that it doesn't cost more than half her salary. It flutters when Beca gives her the key card and pass code to her unit making her the second person to acquire such honor, the first person being Stacie because she helped Beca acquire the place and then proceeded to steal the spare key.

Beca looks at her and Chloe's heart flutters hard.

"You're up to something again."

Chloe smiles sadly at the familiar words. Her silence always gives her away.

"I'm trying to decide," she answers truthfully.

"About what?" Beca humors her.

"When to knock at the door."

"That sounds deep for such an early morning," Beca hums, intrigue painting her features. "If we are talking about opportunity behind that door then I say, go ahead and kick that damn door open."

"Should I?"

"Take what's yours."

"I'm not even sure if it's mine to begin with."

"It will be if you believe it."

"I'm nervous," she admits looking down her cup.

"I'll be right here."

"Will you?"

"Of course."

"Promise?"

"Please don't make me pinky swear on this."

"I have feelings for someone," Chloe starts, surprised at how calm and steady her voice is.

Maybe because she's run it through her head a billion times and now it's like the engine in her brain has finally exhausted all of it's battery, pudffing out smoke as it dies out. And because she's calculated all the possibilities following that admission she quickly continues before any reaction settles in.

"It's a girl."

She could literally hear a pin fall from the silence that falls on CR and Jesse. She's expected that too. Now there's no returning back.

Both of her friends gape at her, mid-sip and mid-chew, frozen in place with their eyes looking wide at her and their jaws slowly dropping. She would've laughed at how they looked, pausing in between eating snacks and taking a seat on the sofa, not even knowing whether to continue down and sit or straighten back up to stand again.

Nevertheless, Chloe's just relieved that her choice of setting wasn't so bad. Amplify's top floor balcony lounge is empty at the moment.

"It started two months ago but well, I guess there has always been that inkling that maybe it's already been there and I've just never thought about it until… it slapped me right at my face."

She inhales and releases a deep breath. The silence still stretches and Chloe's habit of just filling it up takes over. She's never handled heavy silences well.

"Aubrey knows. She's the first person I confided to. Stacie also knows because," she smiles lightly at the memory, "She accidentally found out."

"And I know I should've told you guys sooner but," she fidgets at this point. "I was trying to figure out stuff and explore this…"

She finally throws her hands up, "I don't have a label. It's just," she pauses, trying to put the right words together.

"I don't know if I'll ever fit in one. I guess I don't want to either. I just… follow my heart," she swallows, nodding as she finally accepts it deep down.

"Love… for me, it doesn't need labels, it takes no shape or form and I feel for whoever my heart chooses."

She gnaws on her lip anxiously before looking up to find both her friends look at each other, straighten up and then look back at her.

CR steps forward and wordlessly just wraps her arms around her followed by Jesse who just hugs them both.

Chloe didn't plan on crying. She didn't even feel like it until she's being embraced tightly. Accepted so warmly without questions or judgement. She knew they'd generally be okay with it but to be understood in a way that comes from the heart, she hadn't entirely expected that.

Especially when CR tells her that she didn't have to apologize or feel bad that she's only admitting this now. That it's okay to take all the time in the world until she's ready to fly.

Jesse makes a bad pun about closets and rainbows and laughter breaks in between them.

"Here's what's going down later," CR begins as they release each other. "We're going to grab some drinks while we go talk about this lucky lady of yours, celebrate and grind to some good music—"

"Competition karaoke!" Jesse cuts in abruptly, already getting worked up at the thought.

"Right, all four of us. You, me, Jesse and Beca," CR says and Chloe freezes.

"We should call the wives too!" CR continues now looking over at a bouncing Jesse as she refers to Aubrey and Stacie—due to the confusion as to what the status of their relationship is as of the moment, Beca has finally given up and branded them as wives behind their backs.

"Not Beca!" Chloe suddenly blurts out, finally getting into motion after the initial shock making both her friends suddenly revert back to silence.

"She doesn't—I haven't told her… yet," she confesses and when she looks at CR, there's a familiar look that makes Chloe feel as if her secret is slowly being unravelled.

CR doesn't say anything and if Jesse had any idea he doesn't speak about it either.

"Oh, because you two were always together we thought… you told her," Jesse says and after a short pause, CR shakes her head and breaks the awkward atmosphere.

"Never mind! Know what? We can postpone our little party for later anyways."

"Yeah," Jesse adds, "Aubrey might have like a… bigger party planned in that drawing board of hers."

"No! Let's party tonight," Chloe quickly remedies before explaining.

"Beca has… an important appointment tonight. Probably business stuff. I'm not sure," she lies, finding it ironic that she had just finally been honest minutes ago.

But then she had sworn not to tell anyone about the date. It wasn't her secret to reveal.

When Jesse's brows furrow trying to remember about this certain appointment, Chloe fears that her lie isn't going to check out what with Jesse organizing Beca's schedule and handling half of her workload. Which is why, she sputters something about urgency and schedule conflict.

When Jesse nods and goes back to their plans for tonight, Chloe sighs in relief.

For now, all she has to focus on is the little drinking and singing later which might just be the distraction she needed to relieve the sting spreading in her chest.

Then perhaps after today she'd finally get the courage to knock.

Even if things might never be the same again

3 hours later

The dark clouds rumble up above and Chloe knows that soon rain is going to fall, heavily. But she doesn't care. Not when the urgency to get to her is this strong.

So she abandons the taxi and the standstill traffic it is currently in the middle of. She throws in a couple of bills before bursting out of the car and running.

Running like her life depended on it.

She has to get there no matter what. She has to get to her. Has to tell her the truth. How she truly feels. Not tomorrow, not next week but today. Tonight. This Friday night.

Now

She almost stumbles forward, gets bumped into someone and feels tiny scattered droplets fall upon her face.

But she continues on, apologizes distractedly and ignores the soft drizzle.

There's only one thing in her mind. Her. Have to get to her. Have to tell her what she feels.

Consequences be damned.

Her head screams she's too late. Her heart cries in fear. And her soul gives in to the longing.

She sees the building. She's so close.

Please, be there, she repeatedly thinks.

Please don't let me be too late, she begs.

She enters the glass doors without even taking a pause. Nobody is stopping her and for that she's grateful. They've assumed she already lives there anyway.

The slow ride up the elevator is torture that she's so close to breaking apart.

So close

The minute it opens, she's darting out the door and running yet again to the place she's always felt safe in.

Home

She knocks repeatedly, desperately, momentarily forgetting that she has the capability of opening the door herself. When she does, she's fumbling for the key before pressing the code with shaking hands and inserting the sleek gray card in its slot.

She certainly bursts inside and it's too quiet that it makes her heart tremble as it starts to sink.

"Beca?"

Am I really too late?

3 hours ago

Beca is waiting for an important phone call when Chloe makes her way over her desk.

"Hey," she starts softly, stepping tentatively towards the producer's table.

Beca looks up at her instantly and Chloe's insides twist at the sight of attentive dark blues looking her way.

"CR, Jesse and I are going to grab some drinks at the Crescent, you're… not clocking out yet?" she asks, realizing that she doesn't really know any details to that second date Beca is going to tonight.

It's better she doesn't know anything, to be honest.

The brunette looked a bit confused for a moment before answering her. Beca does tend to get distracted these days due to the upcoming Christmas event. Work is piling up as always and yet again, it all falls on Beca's shoulders in the end.

"Yeah, you guys go do that. God knows we all need some drinking before this year ends," Beca mutters with a small smile on her face.

"I have an incoming call from Golden Records in thirty minutes," she continues and Chloe nods understandingly.

"See you on Sunday then?" Chloe asks, looking hopeful.

She plans to tell Beca on Sunday. To be completely honest and vocal about everything. She avoids thinking beyond that. If she does, she might just go crazy.

One step at a time.

Beca did the same once and here they are. So maybe it won't be so bad. If Beca doesn't feel the same way then… maybe Chloe can now focus on accepting that they won't happen rather than the exhausting what ifs.

Aubrey was right, they'd still be friends. Beca isn't the kind of person to just leave and throw the friendship away because of what Chloe feels for her now.

She wouldn't.

Right?

"See you on Sunday,"

Chloe leaves at that, resigning to the fact that Beca is going out on a date tonight and she's going to go get a drink. And Saturday is tomorrow and maybe Beca won't be alone in her apartment—or at the other girl's apartment.

She should stop thinking.

But then it's weird. She can't help it, really. Not spending dinner with Beca on a Friday for the first time. It feels like a part of her is left hollow. No teasing, complaining or mundane conversations over wine and good food. No happy car rides with their heads nodding to the music. No unconscious subtle touches or hand holding as they walk towards the busy street. No extra warmth.

No… Beca.

Chloe swallows down the sadness that tries to pull her down. Focuses on Jesse singing some Sam Smith instead and munches on some nachos. CR cheers and yells next to her and Chloe finds that even the noise cannot drown out her thoughts.

Even with her eyes open she sees dark blue and remembers how they look at her in amusement and disbelief when she drunkenly confronted her at their favorite club months ago. Maybe she feels so nostalgic because it's Friday and Fridays remind her of Beca. Maybe she just misses her and realizes how close they had become these past few months.

Maybe she just hates the fact that it's not her she's with—

Chloe inhales sharply, stopping herself from going down that path. Exhaling and blinking a couple of times to quell down the sting that has now reached her eyes.

Sunday. She's going to talk to Beca on a Sunday because now is just not the right time. Now is when she's smiling at somebody else. Touching somebody else's hand. Kissing…

Chloe's heart clenches at the thought. So she lifts up her glass and drinks. She probably just needs to drink and eat.

And sing!

Jesse gets a music score of 96 on the screen and Chloe is springing up on her feet to challenge him.

Maybe it's not coincidence that the first thing she thinks of singing is Ruthless by the Marias.

Maybe it's not coincidence how she gets a whooping 99 as a score and Jesse smacks the screen in disbelief.

"Oh shit, Beca better be prepared on our year-end karaoke competition! She's finally found her match!" CR screams with laughter.

And maybe even that isn't coincidence.

The universe is mocking her and Chloe wants to throw things at it because it's unfair that she's always the target.

The hour passes and Chloe gives up on alcohol. It's not helping anymore. Alcohol only makes her remember how soft and warm Beca's arms are around her. How gentle those fingers massage her scalp and how relaxing it is to hear the beating of her heart, lulling her to a deep sleep.

She beats CR's music score as well in a one point difference and now they seem to be looking at her worriedly with how sad her song choices are getting. She knows they've been itching to know more about the woman who stole her smile.

She only admits one thing, 'It's not going to happen at this point'.

Until the words CR breaks make her mind stop trying to forget.

"So you're just going to give up?"

Is she? Just going to give Beca up?

The question rattles her. Takes her back to where it all started. Her heart beating hard as the realization hits.

The answer follows.

"I… have to go."

Chloe Beale never gives up.

"Beca?" her voice breaks as she calls out again, looking around frantically.

When she finds an empty room, she's about ready to burst into tears until a voice holds her back from doing so.

"Chlo?"

Whirling around to the voice she longs to hear, Chloe finds the brunette entering the door, looking at her in mild surprise.

Beca is still in her work clothes, hand bag on her right and a paper bag from Destiny Mart being carried on her left which she carefully places on top of the kitchen counter. Clearly, she's just arrived from Amplify.

"I thought you guys were out having drinks. I was actually just about to—"

"Don't go," Chloe all but pleads out of the blue as she takes a step closer.

"I—"

"Don't go to her," she repeats, her vision starting blur with unshed tears.

"What are you—"

"Please," she continues begging desperately, reaching out to hold Beca's wrist, to feel the pulse underneath her skin and the warmth that radiates on to her own.

"Please just stay here. Don't go on that date," she shakes her head, tears falling as she does so.

Chloe loves love. Has sacrificed for it. Given up for it and cried for it. She moved from the other side of the country because of it and now… she knows now what it really feels like. To dive into depths so deep that there's just no return. To go mad with the emotions wrapping around her chest and wanting to explode until she can do something about it.

How had she been so stupid to even think of letting this go?

Letting her go

Fear and uncertainty may have taken over. But the obvious truth has that she has been a coward. A fool even.

So foolish that she failed to see that this is it. This was the one worth fighting for. The one worth every tear and heart ache. The one worth chasing. The one worth pleading to. The one worth staying with and the one worth crossing half the country for.

The one she's desperately searching for.

The only one.

"Becs, please."

Comforting hands hold her face, melting the sadness and pain instantly.

"Alright, alright, I won't, psycho," Beca says, a smile breaking her lips as she speaks and brushes Chloe's tears.

"Also because there's… no date happening. I cancelled," Beca admits sheepishly, hands falling down to Chloe's arms before squeezing lightly.

"Now tell me, what's wrong? Where's Jesse and CR?" Beca asks gently, looking at her in concern but Chloe is still stuck with the admission.

"You—what? Why… why did you cancel?"

Beca shrugs, hands now falling to her sides. "It's… it's just not there," she softly says, eyes falling elsewhere.

"She's great but…"

"There's something missing?" Chloe supplies and this brings Beca's gaze back at her and she's so beautiful, it physically hurts because she longs to keep that image for herself.

"Yeah." Beca breathes out, a hint of hesitation in her voice before straightening up again, the concern back in her features.

"So, talk now or… dinner first? Just so you know, we have Stacie in our team so if someone needs punching, we'll have that taken care of," Beca says light-heartedly and as she starts to move away, Chloe's hands snaps her back into motion.

She quickly grabs on to Beca's arm, afraid that if she doesn't say it now she fears she'll become a coward again. Fears her irrational thoughts would take over and leave her paralyzed.

Gentle dark blues look at her once more and there's no other perfect moment to confess than now.

"I like you."

It sounds so simple. The effort and courage to say them however, massive.

"I'm already making you dinner. It's a requirement to like me," Beca answers jokingly and Chloe almost screams in frustration.

She didn't think it would be this hard to drive a point.

"No, I like you Beca," she says, much more stronger as she steps closer, holding on to the brunette.

"Well, okay… I like you too Chloe," Beca says and it's obvious that she still doesn't get it. What with the slight confusion in her face and the nonchalant way she says the words.

"No, you're not listening!" she says with a frown, finally closing the gap between them, eyes slipping down on Beca's lips.

"I like you," she whispers before cupping Beca's face with trembling hands and pressing her lips softly against hers.

Her eyes close, heart finally getting what it keeps longing for and Chloe feels like floating. Everything else dies down and only the woman in front of her is all she could feel.

Until it stops and Chloe wakes up to reality.

Beca pulls away abruptly, eyes wide in shock as she keeps her at arms length.

"Chloe, what the hell?!"

The reaction rings in her ears and it's deafening.

"That's not a good joke—I… you're not…" Beca tells her and this time, the pain in those eyes is unmistakable before she turns away.

No, Chloe knows it wasn't because it isn't a joke. She shakes her head, mind racing to tell her how her feelings for her are real and true. That hurting her is the last thing she wants to do. That she wasn't like the others before her.

"I'm not! All this had been new to me but now I'm—"

"Confused? Wanting to explore and try something different? And I'm that… different," Beca says and she feels so far, so detached, her eyes still not meeting Chloe's and it feels like a nightmare.

Beca's words are not something spawned out of thin air. These words come from experience. All painful, the sorrow behind them when uncovered is too deep. More so when it feels as if it's a repetitive cycle that now just feels… normal. Expected.

It hurts.

"Becs, I wouldn't do that to you. I would never use you," she says, voice so small and soft. Tears now slowly streaming down steadily.

"I don't want to lose you. Please, just look at me," she pleads as her voice cracks with the sobs that keeps threatening to escape her.

She takes a step forward, trying to reach her, to hold on to her, to what she can still save. If there was even something to be saved.

"Beca, I… I—"

A sudden movement cuts off the words her heart wants to scream out loud for so long. Beca takes a step back, staggering and unsteady as she quickly avoids Chloe's touch. She watches her shake her head, eyes settling on everything except her and it's probably the worst feeling she's ever felt.

"I can't—I just—I'm sorry, I have to…" Beca stutters, a hand running through her hair as she widens the distance between them.

The door opens and closes. Silence washes over the place until a broken sob cuts through it.

There at the middle of Beca's kitchen, Chloe falls into a mess, heart breaking like never before into countless tiny pieces that she's sure it's already irreparable.

"What have you done this time?" the dread in Stacie's voice is blatantly obvious and all Beca wants to do at this point is finish the really expensive bottle of whiskey she's been trying to open for a minute now.

The same brand of bottle that she had held more than a year ago as she falls on the floor, spiraling out of control, heart shattered all over the place

She finally opens it and drinks it straight from the bottle.

It feels familiar, the bitterness, the burn, Stacie's really comfortable plush red sofa and that ache that won't go away.

"What are you doing?" Stacie asks and it plays on repeat inside her head.

When she doesn't answer, Stacie finally seems to have had enough, "Beca!"

"I…" she stares at the bottle.

"I don't know."

"You don't know?"

Baby blue eyes, that's all she sees. Tearful baby blue eyes.

"Chloe kissed me."

The lack of response makes her finally look up at Stacie.

"She kissed me and I don't know what to do with that," she says, misery laced in her words.

Things like this, they don't happen. She's resigned to the fact that Chloe would never look at her that way what with the unmistakable conviction in her voice so many months ago about her sexuality—Has it really been that long?

Now this, this sudden turn of events. This revelation. She has had far too many hopes fall down the ground.

This, she couldn't take this if it turns out to be another mistake.

Chloe cannot be another mistake.

"So you just left?"

"You don't understand. Are you even listening?"

"Of course, I don't. I don't understand why you're here. Falling back into a bad habit and with my most expensive alcohol of all things."

"I'll pay for it."

"That's not the point."

Beca sighs in frustration, a hand rubbing her face as she fidgets, her chest tightening at all the thoughts messing up her head. "Out of the blue she just suddenly says all those things when she's… she's not even… why… why now?"

The sting in her eyes intensifies and the tears she's tried to hold back finally slips out.

"Maybe if you haven't took off like that and listened then perhaps you'll find the answers!" Stacie argues, letting out her own sigh of frustration.

She doesn't stop there.

"But no! Here you are doing the exact opposite. Running away is only a temporary solution, Beca."

"You think it's that easy for me to process all this? Suddenly it's like this now? Suddenly she feels... this! Suddenly she's…" she trails off, figuring that another gulp of the bitter liquid would hopefully, magically, make everything right.

It doesn't.

"Someone just opened their heart bare for you," Stacie starts, this time in somber tone. "Do you know what that girl has gone through to finally get to this moment? This very important moment."

Beca looks away, vision blurring once more, the thought that Stacie had known all this time buried under the heavy emotions swirling within her. She'll focus on that information later.

"You know it's not easy and despite that she's ready and willing to wager everything on the table right now and what do you do?" Stacie asks and it's useless to stop her emotions from catapulting over the edge, her chest shuddering as the tears keep falling.

"You walk away despite knowing exactly how it feels like. Being the one left behind. You're walking away not only from someone whom I can see that you deeply care about but also, you're walking away from your friend. Your best friend. That hurts, Beca."

Beca wipes her tears before finally whispering a sincere confession, "I wasn't—I was going to come back. I just needed some time to think."

"She doesn't know that, Becs. I understand where you're coming from. This isn't something small. She means so much to you and that is why you're going through all of this right now. But you should know the agony of waiting for the unknown. Take some time to think about this but please don't take too long."

It's exhaustion that drains Chloe to the point of sleep. Exhaustion from all the crying, the pain and from contemplating about all the possibilities her confession will bring. None of them had been good and Chloe fears the worst.

Still, she stays. She waits. Waits till she returns back to her. Waits until sleep takes over.

Even her dreams were horrible and sad. Dark blue eyes always present in them. A range of emotions flowing through them. From sadness to anger to indifference. It's all the same, the ending that is.

Alone.

She wakes up expecting more of it but instead, she rouses from a restless sleep to those very dark blues looking at her with that familiar tenderness she had grown used to over the months.

By the looks of it, it's probably past midnight now.

Beca sits on the side of the bed. Next to her. The way her hand pulls back to rest on the mattress makes Chloe realize that the gentle caress she's felt on the side of her head was real. She's real and there, sitting in front of her.

She came back.

Every part of her body finally wakes up and she sits, back resting on the headboard. For a minute, she tries to speak, tries to say something but nothing is coming out.

Until only one word escapes her lips.

"Sorry," they both say almost at the same time and it's reminiscent of their talk at the Hilton.

The memory makes her heart constrict. Beca looks just as beautiful as she was that night.

"I didn't mean to leave like that," Beca softly continues, eyes finding hers for a moment and Chloe longs to hold her.

"It's not really your fault. My timing sucks. I really have to work on it," Chloe says just as softly, letting out a weak smile to hopefully lighten the atmosphere.

The small smile Beca conjures is enough to let a little bit of her worries go away.

Beca shakes her head lightly. "Everything happens for a reason."

"Are you mad at me?" she asks, her voice wavering a little at the possible answers.

"No, Chlo. I was never mad. I couldn't." Beca breathes out, eyes filled with sincerity.

"I meant everything I said," Chloe begins and she feels tears welling up once more. "It's not something I could control. It's not the things you said. And maybe at first I was confused too but it's…" she trails off, trying to piece in the right words but shaking her head intead.

"I met you and everything just… changed. I wanted to be everywhere you are. To be near. To be close. Constantly," she swallows hard, all the feelings she's felt spilling like a broken dam.

"I don't know when I started feeling this way exactly but I know that it's not something fleeting or shallow. I've had too many of those. Being with you, it feels so right." She pauses to let out a shaky breath.

"But it scared me too," she continues. "I never felt this way before or felt this much for… for anybody! This friendship is something I cannot afford to lose and that's what scared me," she admits.

"We're… we're still friends, right?" she hesitantly asks, afraid of the answer.

Beca looks elsewhere and Chloe's heart sinks. She watches painfully as her features contort into a small frown, eyes closing as she exhales.

Chloe's ready to beg, ready to fall to her knees, ready to fix whatever needs to be fixed. To do whatever it takes to keep even a small part of their relationship.

Beca's eyes open and so do her lips, "I cancelled that date because there was something missing. She wasn't… she wasn't you," she breathes out and Chloe almost doesn't catch it.

When it settles deep down, her heart begins to beat furiously. The implication of what it could mean makes her want to try and reach out again.

"I tried," Beca goes on, voice slightly trembling yet she carries on. "Believe me, I tried so hard and I thought I was getting past it," she pulls up her gaze towards her, glassy eyes a proof of the difficulty she had went through.

"But I thought too soon because I tripped, harder than before. That there even came a point that I felt guilty for failing the one thing I promised you I'd get over with. I knew it was wrong. I fought it everyday, god, I really did," she sighs, shaking her head.

"That's why I reacted that way. To hear all these things from you… it was something I thought I could only dream of. Because I didn't want to hope so much only to be abandoned in the end," tears finally fall from Beca's eyes and Chloe instinctively brings her hand up to wipe them away.

"It happens a lot in my life, you see."

Chloe wants to change that. She badly wants to.

"Mine's no better either," Chloe adds in, fingers tracing down Beca's cheek until it pauses near her lips.

She wants to try again. She wants to get it right this time. She hopes Beca would let her.

To give it a chance.

To give them both a chance.

"Can I… Can I kiss you?" she whispers.

It's a simple question yet the meaning it holds carries more. This was it, the moment that could either break her heart or make it soar.

At last, Chloe bravely knocks and waits.

Beca doesn't move, doesn't say anything until finally her question seeps in and she's wordlessly leaning forward to capture Chloe's lips.

Her breath hitches and in a second she feels like melting, the tension in her shoulders easing up as she closes her eyes.

Beca is gentle, taking such care as if she's afraid to break her. It's genuine and sincere that Chloe could almost cry because she feels special. Beca always has been consistent after all. It's one of the traits she's loved about her.

Beca herself is special.

They part after a few moments but never really moving away, faces still inches a part.

Dark blue orbs look at her in silent question, as if trying to wonder if she was okay. If that was okay. Because Beca is aware that she's new to this. Knows that she shouldn't push if she's not comfortable and this only makes Chloe want to kiss her more.

So she cups Beca's face and eases all her worries as she closes the gap once more, this time charged with more eagerness and passion. All the longing and the resisting finally being compensated to the fullest as Beca wraps an arm around her waist and pulls her closer.

Chloe finds that kissing a girl is definitely more sweeter. More softer and definitely more intoxicating. Or maybe it's perfect because it's Beca.

They part for the second time, breathless and light-headed.

Chloe can't help the smile breaking in her face. Can't help it when she sees it reflecting back at her.

Especially when Beca says, "Would you like to go out for dinner with me tomorrow?" as she looks at her in a way that make her feel like she's a wonder to behold. Like she's the sun, the moon and all the stars. She then proceeds to tuck a strand of Chloe's wavy locks behind her ear and it's done so gently, enough to make a person melt.

Nobody has ever looked at her this way. Touched her this way.

"I'd love that," she says with a nod, her smile widening as Beca leans in again to give her a soft peck.

"Meet you there at seven?" Chloe suggests in an amused tone.

"Pick you up at seven," Beca corrects and Chloe receives another soft kiss.

"And wear something comfortable," she adds against Chloe's lips and at this point, Chloe feels like she won the lottery. With a first class European tour.

This time, she leans in to the kiss, finding that it's something she would really like to do all the time from now on.

The only thing that could definitely ruin the moment is her stomach grumbling loudly.

They both snort as Chloe rests her head on Beca's shoulder out of embarrassment.

"Your timing really does suck," Beca says and Chloe whines in protest, burying her face at the crook of Beca's neck.

"Shut up," she says just as Beca wraps her arms tighter around her. She does the same.

"I ran for twenty minutes just to get here and then find out that I didn't have to because you've already cancelled plans with whoever that girl was," she rants and that's when she feels Beca's smile pressed against her hair.

"I'm sorry if my stomach also has bad timing," Chloe mutters.

"Alright, come on, I'll make you dinner," Beca says and Chloe reluctantly untangles herself from the brunette.

"I haven't eaten either."

Chloe lets Beca pull her away from the bed and out into the kitchen where Bella is hanging out, eyes silently judging them, probably having had enough of the drama they've been causing for the past few hours.

It is only when Chloe's seated on one of the black stools, choosing a random bouncy playlist on Beca's phone, not really caring if it's 3 in the morning, while Beca starts preparing the ingredients does she realize that it all feels natural.

Natural with the way Beca grumbles upon catching Bella snuggling up to her again. How their fingers easily find each other and intertwine as they ate. How staring at Beca isn't as illegal as it felt like before.

It clicks and it fits like a puzzle finally complete after having been left abandoned with a missing piece for so long.

With Beca it is natural. No big grand flowery gestures to mark the beginning of something. No adjustments or any sort of caution made. Just a plate full of care, terrible puns, heartfelt laughter—because 'How was it not obvious that I like you? I literally bought you blue flowers every week—soft, honest conversations and gazes which now hold so much more meaning.

It's almost like… they've been doing it for years.

It's immensely satisfying and Chloe wouldn't trade it for the world.

The sun rises early that Saturday morning to dishes left in the sink, missed calls and unread messages from all their friends, both of them unbothered by it all as they lay deep in slumber in the sofa, wrapped contentedly in each other's arms, legs tangled underneath a thick blanket and Bella lounging at the coffee table.

There's no holding back anymore and Chloe's heart finally settles in a place that very much feels… permanent.

Author's Note.

First of all, you're welcome. Second, yes there are a few more chapters coming out. It's not the end just yet. Third, everyone gets to be happy because my birthday is coming up and in my fucking party, tears are NOT allowed, representation matters, Lexa is alive, racism and misogyny are cancelled and Bechloe is canon.

Lastly, I'd like to announce that Carol Danvers is the love of my life and we are married now in some alternate universe. Also, my father being such the coolest dad that he is (sometimes) gave me Captain Marvel tickets which is the best birthday present ever. He knows me so well! I died at the movie theatre btw because my wife is so damn GORGEOUS! Keep blasting the assholes away, my love!

Happy International Women's Month to all the beautiful ladies out there (everyone is beautiful, don't argue with me you will lose)

I love March!