"Still no answer?" Maggie looked over anxiously at Alex. It was now a week since the shooting, and Alex had been unable to raise her mother on the phone. They both knew from J'onn that Eliza had been informed of Jeremiah's death, but she had responded to any of their efforts to contact her.
Alex gave a small shake of her head. She was exhausted and pale, and Maggie's anxiety about her ratcheted up a notch. Alex was barely sleeping, and was shutting her emotions down in a way that Maggie knew only too well.
Alex still made a huge effort with Addie, trying to smile as much as she could, and to offer encouragement. But Maggie could see her sag with relief whenever Addie was tucked up for the night. Then Alex folded into herself again.
Alex wasn't deliberately trying to shut Maggie out. She just couldn't face the maelstrom of emotions that had assaulted her in the last week. And she was already tired and sore, nearly 38 weeks into what had already been a difficult pregnancy.
The best time for them both was after Addie had gone to sleep. Then Maggie would run a hot tub, and she would sit behind Alex, holding her tenderly and soothing her with warm water and gentle caresses. Alex was grateful that she wasn't trying to make her talk. It wasn't that she didn't want to share with Maggie; she just didn't know what to say.
Kara was now visiting them twice and sometimes three times a day. Sometimes she came with Kate, but more often she dropped in, apparently on a whim, clutching doughnuts, or a box of a new herbal tea she had discovered. She, too, was giving Alex space to come to terms with what had happened, but her just being there – holding Alex softly – let them both know that she didn't blame Alex for what had happened. If only Eliza could offer the same reassurance.
Maggie typed a surreptitious text to Kara:
Still no answer.
Kara's response was short, but to the point.
I can't get through either. I'm going to Midvale.
Good luck.
Maggie didn't know what to say apart from to wish her luck. She knew this wouldn't be easy for Kara.
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"Tonight?" Aoife felt relief and a stinging fear, all at once.
"Yes," Callie reassured her with a smile. "They'll bring her round later. She's still got a long way to go, but this is a good start."
"I want to be here," Aoife was prepared to argue her case. There was no way in hell she would let Ellie wake up in the hospital without her there.
"I know," Callie smiled. "I wouldn't expect anything else. She's going to need you, Aoife. The inflammation is greatly reduced, but it's going to take her some time to get all her motor function back. She'll likely be scared. She'll need you here to reassure her."
"But you said she's gonna be okay?" Aoife knew that this was at least the twentieth time she had asked that question, but she needed constant reassurance.
Callie put a gentle hand on her arm. "She will. I'm sure she will."
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Eliza's face when Kara came through the door was stony. She held up a hand. "I don't need to hear it, Kara," she said. "I know what happened."
"Then why won't you talk to Alex?" Kara demanded. She was pissed. Her sister was going through the worst time of her life, at a time when she should be relaxing and celebrating the imminent arrival of her baby, but instead she was barely existing.
Eliza stared at Kara, as though she was stupid. "Why do you think?" she spat out.
Kara's heart plummeted. "You surely don't blame Alex for what happened?" her voice was small and shocked.
"And just who am I supposed to blame for the loss of my husband?" Eliza demanded.
"Cadmus. Jeremiah. Whoever turned him. He was going to kill Maggie. He would even have killed Alex!" Kara dispensed with tact. "He was a monster, Eliza."
"You're wrong," Eliza was not hearing her.
"Don't you care about what this has done to Alex? She's about to have your granddaughter. Your second granddaughter. Does that mean nothing to you?"
"Not interested," Eliza headed for the stairs. She was on the third step when she turned to face Kara. "You've always believed her. You've always thought Alex could do no wrong. Even now that's what you believe."
"She didn't do anything wrong. She had no choice." Kara's voice broke. She would not cry in front of Eliza. She wouldn't.
"Goodbye Kara," Eliza turned away.
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Kate saw the distraught look on her girlfriend's face as soon as she stepped in from the balcony. She could tell that it hadn't gone well. She knew that there was nothing she could say to make it better. So she led Kara to the couch, where she helped her to change into her pajamas. She wrapped a warm blanket around her, and headed to the kitchen. She came back a couple of minutes later, with a tray laden with pizza, potstickers and bottled water.
Kate sat next to Kara on the couch, pleased as Kara leaned into her. The table was close enough for both of them to help themselves to food. Kara wasn't hungry, but she wanted to please her girlfriend, and after a few bites she found that her appetite was returning.
After they had both eaten their fill, Kate took the tray back to the kitchen. And then she remembered something, something that she hoped would make Kara smile. "I gotta surprise for you," she told her.
Kara tried to smile back.
Kate took a package from the closet and handed it to Kara. It was wrapped in tissue paper.
Kara smiled, and unwrapped the gift. It was a hand-knitted, blue sweater. The wool was unbelievably soft. She pulled it to her, and buried her face in it. She wanted to cry. "You knitted me a sweater," she said softly. "That's the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me."
Kate smiled with genuine pleasure. She could tell that Kara was touched by her gesture. "I finished it at the DEO. Alex thought it was hilarious, seeing me knit."
Kara reached for Kate, and pulled her down for a long, soft, deep kiss. "I love it," she said, softly.
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"It's okay, babe," Aoife stroked Ellie's hair gently. This was the fourth time she had awoken, and each time she was scared and confused. But each time it was getting easier to reassure her. "That's it. No moving, remember," Aoife touched her cheek, hating the metal contraption that held her head in place. "They're going to take this off tomorrow, and try another scan. D'you think you can try squeezing my fingers again?" she held Ellie's limp hand in her own.
Aoife smiled as she felt light pressure on her fingers. "You're doing so great," she told her wife. "That's better than last time. Callie's real pleased with you."
"Are you okay?" Ellie wanted to know. She hated that her voice sounded so weak.
"I am now," Aoife lifted her hand to her lips and kissed it softly.
"Wha' 'ppened?"
"You got hurt, sweetheart. Your spine was badly bruised, and it's affected your mobility, but it's only temporary. You're getting better every minute. Your left wrist is broken, but it was a clean break, should be good as new soon."
"Who? Somebody …?"
Aoife was not looking forward to this. "It was Jeremiah Danvers who attacked you," she swallowed the lump in her throat. "He went kinda crazy. He was trying to break Lilian Luthor out."
"Did he?"
Aoife kissed her hand again. "No, babe. He didn't."
"Get him?" Ellie wanted to know if he had been captured.
Aoife nodded. "He's dead, Ellie. He tried to kill Maggie. Alex shot him."
The beeping of the machines increased in tempo, and Aoife could see how distressed Ellie was by the news. "It's okay, babe," she ran a soothing hand over Ellie's brow. "It's over now. Everyone's safe. Maggie's okay. Alex is okay," she didn't think it was the time to discuss the emotional damage wrought upon Alex.
"Baby?"
"She's okay too. Alex's blood pressure is a little raised, but the baby's doing good. Just two weeks to go now."
"Addie?"
"She's wonderful. She's holding them together right now."
"She's a great kid," Ellie's eyes were closing.
"Sleep now, sweetheart. I'll be here when you wake up."
"Love you," Ellie murmured.
"Right back atcha, Sawyer," Aoife blinked away the tears that were forming.
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Addie rode on Jane Rizzoli's shoulders as they made their way up the pathway to the house. They had had a fun couple of hours in the park, but Addie was keen to see her mothers. She knew that they were both sad, Alex in particular, and she wanted to be with them.
Maggie met them at the door, grateful that Robert and Maura had stayed in the car. She liked them both enormously, but she was not in the mood to socialize, and was grateful that Jane and Maura had intuited that. "We're always here," Jane made the universal gesture for a phone. "Call us if we can do anything. I really mean that."
Maggie nodded her thanks. She was exhausted, too, not sleeping much more than Alex. She watched as Addie scampered along the corridor in search of Alex.
Alex sat on the couch, the television running on silent in front of her. She looked up and saw Addie, and her smile was genuine. "I need a hug, Bug," she said softly, and opened her arms. Addie climbed onto the couch and snuggled into Alex's embrace.
Alex kissed the small child on top her head. Addie's hand sneaked out and rested on Alex's belly. "Has the baby been good, Mama?" she peered up anxiously at Alex.
Alex smiled. "She's been real good. She's had a little kick around, just to stretch her legs, but she's mostly relaxing now."
Addie smiled. "I love my little sister," she dropped a kiss on the tight bump.
Alex held Addie close. So much was terrible, but so much, too, was perfect. Their ready-made daughter brought so much joy into their lives.
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"You haven't mentioned Eliza," Alex said as she lowered herself onto the bed, trying not to wince. Everything hurt now. She couldn't wait for the pregnancy to be over.
Maggie tried to look innocent.
"I know you and Kara talk about her every day," Alex said softly. "You don't have to protect me, Mags. Is there some news?"
Maggie felt awful. She didn't know what to say, but she couldn't bring herself to lie outright to Alex.
"Something's happened, hasn't it?" Alex asked.
Maggie nodded, glumly. "Kara went to Midvale. Eliza won't talk to her. She doesn't want to see her."
"Or me."
"Or you," Maggie's heart broke at the anguish on Alex's face. "I'm so sorry, babe."
"Hold me," Alex's voice was small.
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Kate lifted Kara effortlessly in her arms. She knew that Kara was a thousand times stronger than she was, but she still liked to take care of her when she could. And she knew that, tonight, Kara needed gentle handling. Kara nestled into Kate's front, and allowed herself to be tucked into bed. When Kate joined her, she turned and pressed herself as close as she could into Kate's embrace. Sometimes life was real hard. Having her loving, tender, girlfriend by her side made the unbearable bearable. She knew she needed to sleep; she would need to stay strong for her sister. Alex was her priority right now – something that Kate completely understood, which made Kara love her even more.
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To start with, Maggie was relieved and pleased that Alex had fallen to sleep. But only about 20 minutes in, she started to shift and mumble in Maggie's hold. Maggie tried to reassure her with her touch, which worked for a while, and then Alex's mumblings became more agitated, her movements jerkier.
"Alex. It's okay. We're all okay," Maggie whispered into her hair.
"No," Alex moaned. She pushed away from Maggie. Maggie tried to stroke her back, and she pulled away again. "No. Leave me. Don't touch me," sweat was beading on her forehead. Her breathing became shallower. "Leave her alone. Let her go. Mag. Addie," her voice was getting louder. "You can't," she was gasping now.
Maggie could only watch as Alex struggled to suck in enough air. She could see that she was going in to a full-blown panic attack. She switched on the light, causing Alex to jerk again. "Alex," she spoke firmly. "Danvers! Come back to me," Maggie risked a light touch to Alex's shoulder.
Alex bolted upright, her eyes still firmly closed. She reached out desperately. Maggie extended her hand, relieved when Alex grasped it. Her hand was clammy, but Maggie was pleased to have some contact with her.
Alex bent forward, as she tried to get enough air into her system. "Oh God," another memory – or nightmare? – assaulted her. "No. You can't. Let her go," her lungs were screaming now as she choked the words out, her breathing coming in short, pained gasps.
Maggie took a chance and sat behind her on the bed. She wrapped both arms around her, holding her gently but firmly. "Danvers, it's okay. It's just me. We're okay. You saved us. I'm okay. Addie's okay. You're okay," she felt Alex judder. She rubbed her hand up and down Alex's arm. "I need you to breathe with me. You'll be alright. You're just … that's it, baby," she saw Alex's eyes open. "I'm here with you. I'm not going anywhere."
"Mag?" Alex gasped.
"I'm here, babe. Try and steady yourself. Breathe with me. We're going to breathe in, hold, and let go. Okay? Here we go. In," she drew in a deep breath. "Hold it for two. And out. There, that's great. You're doing great. In. Hold. Out. Follow my rhythm."
For nearly ten minutes, Maggie talked Alex down, her arms tightening around her when she feared the panic was returning. Slowly, very slowly, Alex started to calm. And then the weeping started. Huge, gut-wrenching sobs tore from her. Maggie held her lovingly, her heart breaking at the anguish that Alex was suffering.
If Jeremiah were alive today, Maggie would happily tear him limb from limb for what he had done to his own daughter. She shuddered when she tried to imagine causing that sort of pain to Addie, or to their second child who would soon be joining them.
It was nearly 3am when the crisis passed. Maggie realized that the sheets were soaked with Alex's sweat. Very gently, she guided her wife into the soft armchair they kept in the bedroom, and wrapped her in a warm blanket while she changed the sheets. Then, quickly but tenderly, she wiped Alex down with a warm washcloth, and re-dressed her in a baggy t-shirt and boxers.
Alex was docile as Maggie led her back to the bed. Maggie couldn't remember ever seeing her look so pale. She could tell that her head was pounding, and the tinge of green to her features was only too familiar. "You feeling sick, babe?"
Alex nodded, miserably.
Maggie put a basin on the nightstand. "Just in case," she told Alex. She guided her down on the soft mattress, smiling when Alex laid her head on Maggie's thigh. Maggie carded her hand gently through Alex's hair. "Just relax, babe," she said. "I love you."
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Jane grinned as she rolled off Maura. "D'you think that's ever gonna get old?" she asked, once her breathing calmed enough for her to speak.
Maura seemed to be contemplating. "It's been eight years so far, detective. I haven't detected any … shall we say, fall in standards," Maura was smiling now. She was learning to tease Jane almost as much as Jane teased her. Sometimes she was still too earnest, still took things too literally, but she was getting better and better at reading her wife. And sometimes Jane was just so easy to read.
Maura rejoiced in Jane's carefree attitude. For so long, she had protected herself against risk, against loss, against fear. But when she had gotten together with Maura – and after they had weathered a few storms – her barriers had slowly fallen. And now, in Maura's arms, she was defenseless. And Maura loved it. Jane was still a tough, hard-talking, hard-drinking, cop when she needed to be. But when she was around her family, she was a marshmallow.
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Kate followed Kara into the house, smiling when Addie led them to the kitchen. Addie knew she wasn't allowed to operate the coffee machine herself, but she could pass the mugs to her aunts. Kara disappeared into the bedroom with Maggie, and Kate settled herself at the kitchen table with her mug of coffee. She was touched when Addie climbed into her lap. "So, Doodlebug, you okay?"
"I'm okay," Addie nodded, her face pressed into Kate's shoulder.
"It's kinda hard right now, huh?" Kate stroked her hair.
Addie nodded. "Mama got sick again this morning. She's real sad, Sergeant Kate."
"She told me you're making her feel much better," Kate told the small child, honestly.
"I love her and Mommy. And our baby."
"The baby will be here real soon. Are you excited about that?" Kate asked her.
Addie turned in her lap and looked at her. "It's going to be so good," she told Kate. "Mama will feel better, and my little sister will be here."
"It's going to be hard work too," Kate laughed. "Tiny babies can be real exhausting."
"That's what Mommy said. Uncle J'onn has said Mommy can stay with Mama as long as she wants, so's she can help. I'm gonna help too."
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Kara emerged from the bedroom, her cellphone to her ear. "Yes, right now," she was saying. "She has a slight fever, and says she has a headache. And she just got sick again. Please hurry."
She went downstairs to the kitchen, catching Kate's eye.
"I think Gertrude wants to tinkle," Kate said to Addie. Fortunately, the dog had just come up to them.
"I'll take her into the yard," Addie was keen to be helpful.
As soon as she was out of earshot, Kara put a hand on Kate's arm. "They think pre-eclampsia. And ambulance is on its way. It's early stages, Hamilton thinks."
"Cesarean?" Kate asked.
"It's pretty likely," Kara was white with fear.
"I'll take Addie to the park," Kate offered. She wanted, more than anything, to be with her girlfriend – and with Alex and Maggie. But she knew this was where she would be most useful.
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Maggie sat by Alex's gurney in the ambulance, wiping sweat from her face. "It's going to be okay, babe. They're going to take care of you. And we're going to meet our little girl real soon. Oh, okay, babe," she supported Alex as she heaved into the basin in front of her. Her shaking had intensified, and her fever was rising. "I know you feel terrible. But it's going to be okay. You're going to be fine. And I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to be right here by your side. We'll do this together." Maggie prayed that she was telling the truth. They had waited so long for this. It was going to be alright. It had to be alright. "I love you," she said in a whisper.