Why didn't I tell him to go home? Why...
Losing a sibling hurts more than you can explain, losing a child is... well it's worse. But losing someone who's both, and yet neither, that's a whole different kind of pain.
My regrets have piled up over the years, I live with them I have to, but that, that... letting my little brother, my baby die because I was feeling the effects empty nest syndrome? Because I was having a hard time giving him back to Bruce and wanted to spend time with him? We could have had movie night, not face off against his mother's terrorists! I just can't forgive that.
I've been doing my best to move on, make this world a better a place, that's what I do after all, I'm the only one in this shitty family to try and make a brighter future instead of wallowing in the darkness of the past, but I've been failing to say the least. I don't think anyone's noticed, but it isn't like this left anyone unharmed, we're all grieving. And it's not like I deserve any special treatment, he wasn't my kid, not really, that's Bruce's role. I'm the one who got him killed anyway.
I know this yet I'm still hoping this will kill me so I can see him again, oh mom and dad too that'd be nice. Oh, right I forgot to mention that, didn't I? I was captured by the Crime Syndicate, honestly, I'm not sure how long ago now, but they hooked me up to this "murder machine". I know they think I can't escape this, I also know I've seen Bruce do far more amazing things, but deep in my gut I also know that lately... we've been losing more than we're winning. And I want this I really do, I know it's just the depression speaking but I'm just so tired, I'm not sure I can fight this fight much longer.
"Please... listen to me... you still have time to get yourself out of here" I'm whispering frantically, Bruce isn't listening though instead just answers back harshly "I'm not leaving you Dick. I am NOT abandoning you."
I feel all the hope leave me at those words.
"You aren't Bruce, you never have" I say I can't stop thinking "I wish you would" though, but happy endings just aren't something we get in this family, even if they're the twisted dreams of the hopeless.
All hell breaks loose, and even as Lex is killing me I know I won't be getting what I want, I will be living another day. As my heart is beating is it's last I pray to God that He'll hold Dami tonight since I won't be.