Addie clapped her hands and held them out, as a very wobbly Jamie toddled clumsily toward her. When the toddler stumbled at the last moment, Addie caught her and swung her in the air. "You're such a clever girl, Sprout," Addie kissed her cheek, smiling at Jamie's ever-present grin.
Alex looked over at her daughters. Jamie had brought so much light into all their lives. Innocent Jamie, who had never suffered horribly like Addie had.
But Addie was doing well now. She still had nightmares sporadically, which could often be traced back to an incident that had seemed insignificant at the time, but which in hindsight had triggered memories or feeling. But she, too, was such a positive child. She was more sensitive than Jamie, who seemed to go through life smiling and laughing, but she was still optimistic, and incredibly loving, especially toward her mothers.
Maggie approached Alex from behind, and slid her arms around her waist, resting her chin on Alex's shoulder. "Hey," she said softly. She could tell that Alex was lost in thought.
Alex placed a hand over Maggie's, and stroked lovingly. "Hey," she said. Just that one word seemed to convey everything. Alex turned to face Maggie. God she loved her so much. That face, that beautiful face, with the slightly quizzical look, mixed with a little anxiety. "I'm okay, Mags," Alex whispered. "I'm just … I mean, the girls. They're … they amaze me. Both of them."
Maggie kissed her, her lips so soft and warm. "Yeah," she agreed. "We did okay there, right?" she felt something brush against her leg, and looked down to see their German Shepherd. She let out a sharp laugh. "Okay, Gertie girl. We did pretty good with you too. Hey, girls," Addie looked up from the couch, where she had settled with Jamie and a puzzle. "How would you like it if we went to Gran'ma Eliza's house for the weekend?"
"Can we surf?" Addie looked pleadingly at Alex, who had already taught her the rudiments of the sport.
Alex smiled, as she captured Maggie's hand in her own. "If the weather's right," she agreed. She squeezed Maggie's fingers. She knew how hard Maggie was trying to get back to her old relationship with Eliza, and she appreciated it. And, somehow, intuitive, sensitive Maggie knew that Alex had been thinking about her family – and her father – and that she would benefit from a few days in the family home.
"You don't have to do this, Mags," she whispered softly to her.
"I want to," Maggie told her, not completely lying. She knew that a trip back home would be good for Alex, and she was prepared to swallow her own slight discomfort. Eliza was trying so hard to make up for the awful way she had treated Alex, and Maggie knew that. She also knew that Eliza had not had a single drink since she had faced her problems. She decided that she would pack a bottle of single malt, that she would keep in her suitcase. She knew that sometimes both she and Alex – especially Alex – relied too heavily on alcohol, but she wanted her wife to be able to have a glass at the end of the day if she wanted to.
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"Last day," Kate turned lazily in the bed, and rested her hand on the soft plane of Kara's back. She always marvelled at the softness of Kara's skin. She was so strong, so tough – bullet-proof – but still she was the most feminine woman Kate had ever seen.
Kara shifted under her touch, and grunted. Kate had promised to wake her in time to see the sunrise on the last morning of their honeymoon in the Dominican Republic, but she never enjoyed being woken up. She turned her head and opened one eye and then the other. She stared balefully at Kate. At her wife. Kara grinned at the memory. "Morning Mrs Collins," she said.
"And good morning to you, Mrs Collins," Kate smiled. They had decided to use Kate's surname in their private lives, though Kara would retain the Danvers surname for her work at Catco.
Kara rolled on to her back and stretched. She felt the sheet being pulled down as she did, and she saw the grin on her wife's face. "I want to see the sunrise," she protested, as she correctly interpreted the look on Kate's face.
Kate leant down and kissed her thoroughly. She let her hand drift up Kara's torso, and her wife started to squirm with pleasure. Then she felt her hand being captured and held firmly. "Sunset," Kara sounded commanding.
Kate laughed, and rolled away. She reached for a robe and flung it in Kara's direction.
Kara donned the garment and stood in the middle of the room, her hands on her hips, trying to bite down on a smile as Kate headed for the balcony which was right on the water. Kate turned. "What?" she demanded.
"Robe?" Kara suggested.
Kate snorted. "Hey, nobody's looking at me. It's you people want to look at. Anyways, everyone's still asleep," she glanced down at her own naked form. They had spent so much of the honeymoon naked that she had almost forgotten what it felt like to be clothed.
"You have got to be kidding me," Kara reached out and caught her hand. She pulled Kate to her, and openly gazed at her. "You, Mrs Collins," she touched her stomach, "are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen." Her hand closed around a pert, soft breast and she couldn't suppress a grin as she felt the flesh pucker deliciously under her touch. She also heard the rapid increase in Kate's hearbeat, and smiled as her mouth fell open unconsciously. Kara reached out for the robe that lay on the chair, and almost laughed at the disappointed look on Kate's face as she helped her into it.
"Sunrise," Kara reminded her. "Then," she tugged at the lapels of the toweling garment. "Then we forget all about these for a few hours."
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"Campbell Reilly, if you don't … oh God. Please. That's … Christ Reilly," Kit squeaked. She heard a tell-tale buzzing sound. "Oh no. Cam. We have to … fuuuuck," her hips bucked. She clutched desperately at the headboard, trying to ground herself as she felt a hot, wet mouth cover her aching nipple. Campbell's teeth scraped over the taut bud, and she knew she was about to come. "Cam … I'm sorry … I can't … I'm going to ..."
"Let it go," Campbell loved the sounds that her lover was making. A sharp gasp from Kit made her own center flood. "Just relax, babe. Let me … that's it. God you're so beautiful. Just let me … ," her fingers worked in harmony with her tongue. "Come for me now, just let it happen," she smiled as she tasted Kit on her tongue. "You're so close. That's it baby. That's it."
Kit let out a gutteral cry as Campbell coaxed her to come again and again. She had never known a lover as talented as Campbell – not had she ever loved anyone to give herself as completely as she did to Cam, every time. And she knew that Cam would allow her to return the favor.
Kit was in awe of Campbell. Cam, who had been so badly hurt by her previous lover, yet who made herself so vulnerable with Kit. Every time, after they made love, Kit would curl up in Cam's arms, and would unconsciously stroke the deep scar that bisected Cam's wrist. The one left by her previous girlfriend. She didn't even know she was doing it. But, somehow, it made her feel better. Cam was safe with her. Whatever happened, she would take care of her. Nobody would ever hurt her again.
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[A week later]
"So?" Alex fixed Kara with a firm look. "How is she really? And I'm not asking just as her boss. Did she have any more episodes?"
Kara nodded, glumly. "Couple. The first one was hard."
"High fever?"
"Yeah. It came on so fast, Alex. One minute we were talking, the next she was curled up, begging me to keep her warm. But I followed your instructions, and eight hours later, it was gone. Just like you said it would be. And then second time was better, only five hours."
"And when was that?" Alex was gentle. She didn't want Kara to think she was spying on Kate, but she wanted to make sure that she was recovering properly from her kidnap and exposure to the drugs.
"Four days ago."
"Nothing since?"
"Killer headache last night," Kara admitted. "But she said she's fine today," she looked over at her wife, smiling when she saw her crouch next to a small boy, explaining how to hold the bat. Kate had insisted on coming to the softball practise, and Kara was glad she had agreed. Sister Emmanuel had greeted them both with warm hugs and congratulations on their marriage, and she was now keenly watching Kate and Ellie organize their two rival teams for a light-hearted game.
Alex smiled, her own attention partly distracted as she watched Addie step up to bat, a determined look on her face. "Look, Sprout," she jiggled the toddler on her lap. "It's your sister's turn." She pointed at Addie, and Jamie's face split into a wide grin when she saw her.
Alex placed a hand on Kara's back. "And how are you? How's married life?"
Kara's smile could have lit up the whole town. "Yeah," she said, pretending nonchalance. "It's working out okay so far." She tried to keep her face straight, and then she burst out laughing. "Okay, it's pretty fantastic. SHE is pretty fantastic. Hey, you know," she looked over to Maggie, who was guiding one of the children back to the correct position. "Marriage is great, right?"
Alex hugged Jamie with glee when Addie hit the ball hard. "Oh yes. It really is."
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"I'm sorry, Bug," Alex looked at Addie's downcast face as she peered out of the window. The weather had turned bad overnight, and the rain was coming down in sheets, and the wind speed kept rising. There was no way they would be able to surf today, or probably at all during the trip.
"It's okay Mama," Addie tried to sound bright.
Ellie strolled into the room, and immediately realized what was happening. She knew how much Addie had looked forward to surfing. She went up to her, and crouched at her level. "Hey, short stop," Addie giggled at the nickname. She was growing tall for her age, and she was already nearly as tall as Maggie. "I promised your Gran'ma Eliza that I'd build that bookshelf for her. I was wondering if you might have time to help me; it really is a job for two people."
Addie's face lit up with delight. She adored Ellie, whom she placed in the same category as Kate, who still hadn't gotten up that morning. Alex had told her not to go get her, as she might still be a bit tired from when she had been sick.
She nodded enthusiastically at Ellie's suggestion, but then her face clouded over. "Will it be noisy? Only Mama says we gotta keep quite so's Sergeant Kate can sleep."
"It's okay, I was going to do it all in the barn, so it won't wake her up. You up for it, slugger?"
Addie grinned excitedly. "Can I Mama?"
"Of course," Alex agreed. "Take your coat!" she called as Addie scampered off.
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"You okay?" Alex looked behind her, to check that Aoife was coping on the ladder with only one functioning hand.
"No problems," Aoife was remarkably dextrous. And she had asked Alex if she could explore the attic, which had a large window that Jeremiah had installed for Alex to stargaze when the weather was too cold for her to spend too long on the roof. She followed Alex, and she was transfixed by the view. The window was huge, and the view out on to the stark beach and roiling sea was spectacular.
"Is there enough light for you up here?" Alex asked.
"It's perfect," Aoife breathed. "This is amazing."
"I spent a lot of time here," Alex said, wistfully. It was true. She was here all the time as a child. What she didn't mention was how many days – and nights – she had spent here after Jeremiah's 'first' death. She thought back to that misery, and a sudden image of Jeremiah slumping to the ground as she put a bullet between his eyes filled her mind. She shut her eyes quickly, but that only made the image clearer.
It was only when she felt Aoife's hand on her arm that Alex realized that she had shut down.
"Alex? I've been calling your name," Aoife was anxious.
"I'm sorry," Alex suddenly found it difficult to breathe in the house. She just wanted to get out. She needed to get out. "Childhood stuff," she tried to smile. Aoife was unconvinced, but she realized that Alex didn't want to talk, and it wasn't her place to intrude on her privacy.
Aoife nodded understandingly.
"There's a tiny bathroom," Alex had to blink back tears as she remembered helping her Dad install it. "You can wash your brushes and stuff."
"Thanks," Aoife said.
"Call me if you need anything," Alex started back down the ladder.
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Aoife was looking out of the window, watching the driving rain, when she spotted a small figure pick its way across the sand and head toward the rocks. The weather was too bad for her to make out a face, but it was, unmistakably, Alex. She was dressed in a waterproof jacket but, still, she must have been soaked. But her gait was determined. She stopped and looked up, her face open to the torrential rain. Aoife could see her breathing deeply. This was some sort of catharsis for her. She felt like an intruder, so she turned away to prepare her canvas. By the time she looked back, Alex was perched on an outcropping of rock, her face to the sky.
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"I know where she'll be, Addie," Maggie was reassuring. She, too, had seen Alex leave, but she wanted to give her space. Now, two hours later, she was going to go find her wife.
Maggie shrugged on an old leather jacket belonging to Alex, which she had found in the closet. It was battered and scratched, but it smelt deliciously of Alex, and the leather was so soft through so many years of use. She smiled to herself. How had Alex taken so long to realize she was gay?
Alex leant back, her back resting against smooth rock. She loved this view; it was one she had only share with her Dad and with Maggie. And Addie. She smiled to herself. Addie loved the sea just as much as she did. Sometimes she forgot that Addie was adopted, she felt so much a part of them.
Alex watched as the grey waters hurled themselves around the small cove. Her face was wet, and she realized it was not just from the rain.
She had killed him. Her own father. She had put a bullet in his brain, and she had watched him die. And now, she was here, benefiting from all the things that he had told her, all the love he had shared with her as a child and troubled teenager. And she was the one that had extinguished his life. All the air seemed to evaporate. She tried to breathe in, but that didn't seem to help. She shut her eyes in an attempt to calm the rising panic. She pulled at her t-shirt, which seemed to press too tightly against her windpipe. Her hands were clammy, and she felt dizzy.
And then she felt it. A soft hand on her back. She didn't need to open her eyes to recognize her wife. "It's okay, babe. You're not alone." Maggie's voice. Soft. Smooth. Loving. Alex felt the hand move, rubbing slow circles on her back. Maggie moved behind her, keeping a hand on her at all times. "Just shuffle a little, babe."
Alex didn't move, but she didn't resist. She couldn't. Maggie managed to squeeze behind her. She leant back against the rock, one leg either side of her wife. She put both arms around Alex and guided her back to lean against her. "You're okay, babe. You're okay. We love you."
Alex slumped back into Maggie's embrace. "I love you, Maggie," she said.
"Back at ya, Danvers," Maggie held her close. "Back at ya."
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Addie looked up quizzically when her mothers returned, hand in hand. Alex looked exhausted, and they were both soaked.
"I'll run the tub," Kara disappeared up the stairs.
Alex crouched, and buried her nose in Gertrude's soft fur. "Hey girl," she whispered. She stood up, and placed a hand on Addie's shoulder, peering over at what she was doing.
"I'm drawing a card for Gran'ma Eliza," Addie said proudly. "We're going to put it on her new bookshelf that Ellie and I built."
"You built a bookshelf?" Alex was impressed.
Addie nodded, smiling broadly. "Ellie showed me how to hold the wood while she cut it to the right size. We're gonna wax it later, if that's okay, Mama?"
"Of course it's okay, Bug. I'm so proud of you."
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Alex relaxed back into Maggie's embrace in the tub, smiling as Maggie caressed her gently with the sponge. "How come you're always the big spoon?" she asked.
Maggie shrugged, and continued her ministrations. "I guess I kinda like holding you."
"I kinda like it too."
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Maura Isles stepped back from the canvas, to enable her to appreciate it fully. "You did this in Midvale?"
Aoife nodded. For some reason, it was important to her that Maura liked this one. She had been feeling a mixture of emotions while she painted it.
"The sea … it's captivating," Maura said. "You can feel it. It's almost as if it's angry. Or sad. And I don't know if you realize, but that looks just like Alex," she pointed to a small figure in the corner of the painting, who was huddled on an outcropping of rock. Aoife remembered that the painting had felt incomplete until she added the small figure. She realized that she had been thinking about Alex the whole time she was painting.
"It is her," Aoife replied softly. "I don't think I realized that until you said it."
Maura nodded, understanding. She touched Aoife's arm. "It's truly beautiful. One of your best."
Aoife nodded. She knew Maura was right.
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"Oh c'mon, you've got to be kidding me," Alex turned to Sister Emmanuel, who had a stern expression on her face. Alex laughed. She knew she was wrong.
Maggie grinned with delight. "Never argue with a nun," she teased.
"Quite right," Sister Emmanuel said, unable to hide the twinkle in her eye. "Especially with a nun who is your umpire."
They had now been running the softball and baseball teams for six months, and everyone had been surprised and delighted by their popularity. The three teams ranged in ages from five to seventeen, and had attracted not only LGBT members, but also their friends, families and allies.
"We've got that match against NC Elementary next week," Sister Emmanuel reminded them. "We have to be ready."
Addie skidded up to Alex, her face red with exertion, and her eyes bright and happy. "We gotta try that again, Mama," she told her, as she passed her the ball. "Sister Em says you gotta go for a killer shot."
Alex raised her eyebrows. "Killer shot? Is that really the advice of a Christian?"
"It worked for David and Goliath," the nun laughed, as she walked away.
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Maggie grabbed the lapels of Alex's robe and pulled her to her. She kissed her thoroughly, loving the small noises that she teased from her wife. They were both breathing deeply when they broke apart. Maggie grinned. She turned and picked up her key, which she tied to her shoelace. "Be back in an hour," she laughed at a stunned Alex as she left the room.
"Where's Mommy?" Addie wanted to know, when she appeared in the kitchen in search of some breakfast.
"Mommy's gone for a run. She'll be back real soon," Alex reassured her. She kissed her on the top of the head, ruffling her hair. "You could do with a haircut, Bug."
Addie nodded. "I know. Long hair is annoying."
Alex laughed. She knew just how Addie felt; she hated it when her own hair grew too long. But, she mused, she did love long hair – especially on her wife. Maggie's hair was so much part of who she was. And it was so soft.
"I think that's Mommy's phone," Addie cocked her head at the sound of the Star Wars theme, which Maggie had put on her phone as a joke.
Alex saw the flashing phone on the side of the kitchen. She saw that it was Maggie's aunt Maria who was calling. "Hey Maria, it's Alex here. How are you?"
When she heard the tension in the woman's voice, Alex sidled out of the kitchen. If it was bad news, she didn't want to worry Addie. Fortunately, just as she went out there was a shout from Jamie's bedroom. "It's okay, Mama," Addie said. "I'll go get her."
When Maggie returned from her run, she was surprised to see Kate in the corridor, holding a smiling Jamie in her arms. Kara was at the end of the hallway, helping Addie into her coat. "We decided to go out for pancakes," Kate said, with a smile that was a little too fixed, "so we dropped in on the offchance the girls hadn't had their breakfast yet."
Alex was in the bedroom, laying out some comfortable clothes for Maggie. She smiled when Maggie entered, looking sweaty and sexy and slightly anxious. "Babe?" Maggie's voice held a tinge of worry.
"Take your shower," Alex said, her voice soft. "Then we should talk."
"Are you okay? Are you sick?" Maggie's mind went to the worst-case scenario. Something happening to her family. "The girls?"
"We're all great. I swear."
Maggie appeared in the living room, less than five minutes later, fully dressed and with her hair combed back but still damp. Alex went up to her. She kissed her tenderly. "It's your Dad," Alex's voice was gentle. "Maria called. He was stabbed, Mags. It's not looking good. I spoke to his doctors; they aren't optimistic."
Alex watched as all color drained from Maggie's face. She led her to the couch. "I called Aoife; she's told Ellie and they are catching the next plane. There's still seats left, I can ..."
"No." Maggie's voice was icy. "No!" she was almost shouting. "He didn't want me when he was well. He doesn't get me when he's sick."
"This could be your last chance," Alex kept her voice gentle.
"I don't care. Ellie has Aoife, right?" she looked up, her face betraying a vulnerability that Alex rarely saw.
"She does."
"Then I'm not going."
"I would go with you, babe," Alex said.
Maggie turned to face her. "I know," her voice softened as she saw the anguish in Alex's face. Alex only wanted what was best for her. "I know." She reached out and touched Alex's cheek. "He met you," her voice was barely above a whisper. "He met you. And still...," she trailed off. She took a deep breath. "Fuck him," she said, firmly.
"You're sure?"
Maggie nodded.
"If you change your mind, we ..."
"I won't," Maggie didn't let Alex finish.
"Okay. Okay Mags," Alex cupped her face. "If you ever want to talk about it, I'm here."
Maggie smiled. "I know. I … I don't have anything to say right now. I'm sorry."
"You have nothing to be sorry for," Alex said.
Maggie stood up and held out her hand. Alex could tell exactly what she was thinking. She let Maggie lead her to the bedroom.
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Two hours later, Maggie nestled into Alex's front. She could feel Alex's fingers tracing the deep scar on her back. The one that her father had inflicted. "Do you know when Ellie's plane lands?" Maggie asked.
Alex grabbed her glasses from the nightstand, and peered at her watch. "In about 40 minutes."
"I should call her. Check she's okay."
"Okay, babe." Alex was determined to let Maggie dictate what happened now.
"Let's take the girls out this evening. Pizza. We'll get Kara and Kate to come. And Kit and Cam, if they're free. And ice cream," Maggie smiled at the thought. She wanted her family – and her extended family – around her.
"Great idea," Alex agreed.
"I think I should tell Addie," Maggie said quietly. "She knows something's wrong. She'll just worry."
"I can give Jamie a bath while you talk to her. We all know she's gonna be covered in syrup after pancakes," Alex smiled. She knew that Maggie was right.
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"He was real mean to you, right?" Addie asked.
"He was, baby girl," Maggie hauled Addie into her lap, even though she was almost as tall as Maggie was now. "He didn't like me loving your Mama."
"Did he meet Mama?" Addie hadn't heard about this before.
"Once."
"And he still thought she was bad?"
"He thought I was bad for loving her," Maggie explained.
"That's just dumb," Addie said forcefully. She touched Maggie's back through her t-shirt. "Did he do this?"
Maggie was astounded. She had never discussed her scar with Addie, but the 9-year-old was so intuitive. She nodded, tears suddenly clouding her vision.
Addie snuggled into her. "It's okay, Mommy. Your daddy is a bad man."
Maggie accepted her hug. "We don't need to think about him any more, Addie."
"Mommy?" Addie looked up at Maggie.
"Yes, baby?"
"I'm glad you chose to be with Mama, and not worry about what your daddy thought. Mama loves you, so do I and so does Jamie."
"I'm glad I made that choice too, baby," Maggie looked up to see Alex standing in the doorway, holding a towel-wrapped Jamie in her arms.