Timeframe: Post Enies Lobby
Spoilers: Some Enies Lobby stuff
Rating: K+
In the days after Enies Lobby Robin felt something nagging her. She couldn't put a finger on what it could possibly be. Life was wonderful. She had her place and had found her family. The demons of her childhood had been conquered. What could possibly be wrong?
It was only after they had set sail for Fishman Island that Robin figured out what was bothering her. There was one final order of business she had to address before she could sail with the Straw Hat Pirates with a clear conscience.
"Miss Navigator?"
Nami looked up from her maps, pulling off her reading glasses and rubbing her eyes. "Yeah? Has Luffy eaten Sanji's dinner plates again?"
"No, nothing like that." Robin paused for a moment. "There's just…I need to tell you something."
Suddenly interested, Nami waited for Robin to speak. Clearing her throat uncomfortably, Robin had to tear her gaze from a knot in the paneling that had suddenly become very interesting. It took all her willpower to meet Nami's eyes.
"I'm sorry."
"Um, why?"
"For everything." Robin sighed. She hated making herself this vulnerable. It made her feel as if she were eight years old again. "I've made some terrible mistakes, and I'm sorry."
Nami's expression softened. "Oh, Robin. It's okay."
"No, it's not." Nami was taken aback at her tone. Again Robin looked away. "It's really not," she said more quietly. "I was planning to betray you. To hurt you. I was going to use every scrap of information I learned about the Straw Hat Pirates and use it to destroy you. Everything you ever told me about your mother and sister, about Arlong…everything."
Nami flinched. There was a heavy silence, and when Robin looked up again she was unsurprised to see that the navigator was angry. The glare that was more often directed towards the more rambunctious members of the crew bored into her. Robin had prepared herself for this, but it still hurt.
"No you wouldn't have," Nami snapped.
"Miss Navigator…"
"No, you wouldn't have," Nami said again. "I should know. I was the exact same way when I first joined."
Confused, Robin shook her head. "What are you talking about?"
"You were going to screw us over, right?" Nami asked. "You were planning some dastardly, insidious plan that would crush our dreams and leave us dead, or worse?"
Robin nodded, not trusting herself to speak.
"Well, that's what I thought when Luffy first recruited me. I hated pirates. I still hate pirates, the Straw Hats notwithstanding. I was going to make sure Luffy and Zoro landed in prison where they belonged, and I would go on doing my thing. Preferably alone. Obviously things changed." Nami glanced at her work. "You might have planned to do a lot of things, but you never would have gone through with it."
"You don't know that," Robin whispered.
"I do so. And if you keep saying stupid things I'm going to smack you."
Shaking her head ruefully, Robin said, "Be that as it may, Nami, I'm still going to apologize."
Nami looked up in surprise. Rising slowly, she approached Robin with care. She studied Robin's expression before hugging her. The embrace seemed to cut through Robin's shame and guilt, and she returned it tentatively.
"I'll never figure out how someone who's so smart can be so dumb sometimes. It's okay. You're forgiven."
It was another day before Robin found the courage to continue on her quest. She might have held off a little longer, but the perfect opportunity fallen into her lap and she wasn't going to let it go to waste.
She sat in the infirmary. Chopper insisted in a complete health checkup for the whole crew, and while Robin's injuries weren't nearly as extensive as her crewmate's, the reindeer was still concerned about the cracked ribs caused by Spandam's elephant sword and the damage she had done to her teeth and gums biting into the Bridge of Hesitation.
"Have you had any problems eating or drinking?" he asked.
"The sherbet we had yesterday did make my teeth ache," Robin said reluctantly. It was still hard for her to admit any weaknesses, even one as minor as this.
"So increased sensitivity then," Chopper muttered, writing on a notepad. "I could make you some special toothpaste for that."
"Thank you, Doctor. I would appreciate that."
"Don't think that makes me happy that you're letting me help you, asshole!" he giggled, wiggling in his seat.
Robin gave a small smile. Folding her arms in her lap, she waited for him to calm down before speaking. "Actually, Doctor, there is something else I wanted to tell you."
Chopper perked up immediately. "If you're having any problems with your cycle I have a nice herb that Nami swears by. She hasn't complained of cramps in months—"
"What? No. That's not what I'm talking about. I wanted to apologize."
An ear quirked in confusion. "Apologize? Why?"
"For what happened at Water 7." Robin took a deep breath as a look of raw hurt flashed through his eyes. "It must have been very frightening when you couldn't find me."
"Yeah," Chopper said, his voice small. "It was."
"It was wrong of me to run away. It won't happen again."
"Promise?"
Robin hesitated. Her instincts told her making promises was dangerous and could be used against her. But as she looked at Chopper's open, innocent expression she knew what she had to do.
"I promise," Robin said solemnly. Chopper let out a high pitched squeak of joy and jumped out of his seat. Robin caught him before he could attach himself to her head, as he was wont to do with Zoro. She set him down and cupped his cheek tenderly.
"Thank you, Chopper."
"So let me get this straight," Franky began slowly. He sat at his oversized workbench, an equally oversized piece of draft paper stretched out before him. "You're not sorry for squeezing my balls so hard I thought they were going to fall off, but you're going to apologize for not listening to me when we weren't even on the same team yet?"
"Yes."
"Nico Robin, you're the weirdest woman I've ever met. And let me tell you, when you're on the same list as Kokoro and the Square Sisters, that's really saying something."
Robin chuckled softly. "I'll take that as a compliment."
"Tch, whatever. And don't sweat it. You helped me get on this ship, as unsuper as your methods were. We're even."
"Thank you for the fresh start, Franky. Welcome to the Straw Hat Pirates."
It was difficult to catch Sanji alone. Robin knew that with a single word she would have his undivided attention, but she didn't want to distract him from his duties or make a scene. Robin saw her chance one night when he took first watch. Using her power to carry a cup of coffee (for her) and a mug of black tea (for him), Robin climbed up to the crow's nest.
Sanji saw her coming, of course. He seemed to have a sixth sense when it came to the fairer sex. He smiled eagerly and invited her to sit next to him. Robin handed him his beverage and took a seat on the opposite side of the crow's nest, appreciative of the greater space the Sunny offered. She had a reason for coming up here, and it didn't involve cuddling.
"Robin-dearest, you should be getting your beauty rest," he said as he lit a cigarette, "Not that you're not beautiful already, but I don't want to keep you from your sleep."
"Thank you for your concern, but I don't usually go to bed for a few hours yet."
"Ah. Then I will enjoy your company for as long as you're willing to provide it." Sanji blew a smoke ring in the form of a heart, and Robin couldn't help but smile. They sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before Robin spoke again.
"I apologize for doubting your sincerity."
"Hmn? Robin, my sweet, there is nothing that you could ever do that would require an apology. If anything, I should be the one—" Sanji stopped talking as a sprouted arm gently pinched his lips together.
"I have wronged you, Sanji," Robin said. "I've wronged everyone on this ship, in one way or another. I want you to know that I am sorry for ever doubting your intentions. It has been a long time since I've been treated as a person instead of something to be used. At Water 7, on the sea train…I didn't believe what you said. I couldn't trust anything that anyone said, not after so many years of being lied to."
Robin released her power, guilt curling through her insides as Sanji's demeanor shifted. For a moment he seemed to falter, his usual air of grace and sophistication gone. Gone, too, were the lovesick puppy-dog eyes and flowery praise. It seemed that she had left the cook at a loss for words.
Sanji swallowed loudly, adjusting his tie and trying to look anywhere but at his companion. His cigarette hung limply from his mouth, as if Sanji had forgotten it was there.
"I can't accept your apology," he muttered after a while, his cheeks red.
"Can't, or won't?" Robin asked quietly.
He choked, his single visible eye growing wide. "No! No, Robin, it's not like that!" Sanji sputtered frantically. "I…I can't. I'm couldn't…I…"
Robin took a patient sip from her coffee, perplexed by the situation in front of her. Sanji seemed at war with himself, obviously wanting to say something but unable to do so. Never had she seen him so conflicted.
"I couldn't fight her," he finally managed to groan wretchedly. "Your life was at risk, and I c-couldn't…wouldn't…I couldn't hit her," Sanji said, trailing off into a horrified whisper.
"The CP9 agent?" Robin asked.
"The beautiful blonde with the long legs. Kalifa, the shitty-mayor's secretary," he said, appalled by his own admission. "I couldn't hit a woman, even when your life was at stake."
At first Robin was shocked, but the more she thought about it the more sense it made. Sanji revered women, worshiping the ground they walked on. At times he pushed too hard, but Robin could never imagine him hurting something he held in so high regard.
"We all have boundaries we won't cross. It worked out in the end."
"It didn't stop the shitty panda-mask, though," Sanji growled. "Every time I saw the marks on your face, every time I saw how hard it was for you to eat because of what he did…I wanted to kill him. I still do."
"Sanji, it's over," Robin said forcefully. "The bruises are gone. I've healed. The Straw Hats fought for me when no one would. You saved me from myself."
"I won't fail again," he swore.
"You never have."
Before starting her mission, Robin had thought long and hard about how she would apologize to each of her crewmates. For most of them, it was a rather straightforward prospect. The Straw Hats were, after all, very straightforward people. Out of all the apologies she owed, one, however, remained problematic.
But after speaking with Sanji, Robin realized the apologies couldn't be scripted and decided to swallow her discomfiture and face her problem directly, in the proper Straw Hat way.
After orchestrating a minor malfunction to the Sunny's pluming system, ensuring that Franky would be nowhere near where she was going to be, Robin went down to Usopp's workshop as stealthily as she knew how.
Absorbed in his work, the sharpshooter was blissfully unaware of the mayhem that was going on above deck. Robin sprouted some eyes to act as look out, ensuring their privacy. Then she cleared her throat, alerting Usopp of her presence.
"Ack!" he jumped, spilling gunpowder all over his table. Robin felt sorry for him—she could be very quiet when she wanted to be—but didn't let it show on her face.
"I didn't hear you come in," Usopp said after taking a minute to clean up.
Robin gave him one of her default half-smiles. "How are you feeling today?"
Excluding Luffy, it was arguable that Usopp had been hurt the worst of them all during the events of the past few weeks. He had been beaten by the Franky Family, attacked by two CP9 agents, nearly broken his back because of her power…
Chopper was an excellent doctor, but every once in a while Robin could see him wince when he thought no one was looking.
"Fine, fine," Usopp said, confusion flickering in his eyes. "And you?"
"I'm doing well, thank you." Robin paused for a moment. "…And Sogeking? I take it he's fully recovered?"
Usopp flushed a bright red color. He knew that she had seen through his disguise easily. Ever the liar, he recovered quickly. "Yeah, he's great. Too bad you couldn't meet properly, but he had to go. You know, hero stuff."
"It is unfortunate," Robin said. "He offered very good advice, which I regret not heeding sooner. I would have liked to thank him personally."
"Well, uh, I guess I could, um…" Usopp cleared his throat. "I-I still keep in touch. We're good buddies. I could, er, take a message for you. That is, if you'd like…?"
"Of course, Usopp. Would you please tell Sogeking that I am very, very sorry for my actions on the sea train, and that without his actions on Enies Lobby I would currently be in Impel Down."
If possible, his blush deepened. "Oh. Well, I know he's not here and all, but I think I can speak on Sogeking's behalf when I say it was nothing. He'd do it again in a heartbeat."
"I'm sure," Robin murmured. She turned to leave. "Thank you for passing on the message, and good luck with your tinkering."
She found Zoro later that day, lazing in a quiet corner of the ship after a light workout. Crouching down beside him, Robin remembered her early days with the Straw Hats. Zoro had been the most suspicious—and rightfully so—always keeping an eye on her every action and tensing up defensively when she got too close. His actions were subtle, but Robin had twenty years of experience looking for that sort of thing. At first Robin had thought him to be the only rational member of Luffy's crew.
"My turn?" he asked in a low voice as she sat.
Robin smiled. No one so far had mentioned her actions, but Zoro had an uncanny habit of knowing what was going on within the crew. "But of course," she replied playfully. "Everyone gets a turn."
"Why?"
"If Usopp owes an apology, then it stands to reason I do as well." Robin remembered the events at Sky Island, when Zoro's suspicious nature had faded and comradery had finally been built. Life and death had hung in the balance. They was no choice but to depend on one another for survival.
"You don't trust easily, Zoro, and I broke that trust. I'm sorry, and it won't happen again."
He grunted and closed his eyes. "Of course not. You're one of us now."
Six down, one to go.
Luffy was hard to catch alone, and doubly hard to catch in a mood that would be conductive to serious conversation. Over the next few days Robin kept a close watch on her captain, waiting for her opportunity. It took a while, but she was nothing if not patient.
Finally her chance came. It was one of the rare clear days on the Grand Line. There was not a cloud to be seen, and the air was pleasantly warm. Luffy had decided it was perfect weather to sit on the lion figurehead. For once, the Sunny was quiet.
"Captain?"
"Hey, Robin," he said, a look of pure contentment on his face. "Are you going to tell a story?"
"Another time. There was something I would like to tell you."
"Hmm?" He craned his head backward, his rubber neck allowing him to bend until he was looking at her upside down. "Shishishi! You look funny this way!"
Robin chuckled. "I'm sure I do. I just wanted to say thank you for helping me on Enies Lobby. I…I had nearly lost myself."
Luffy frowned, perplexed. "Huh?"
"Luffy, I want to apologize. A pirate never leaves his crew without permission from the captain."
Snapping his neck back into its proper position and turning around to look at her properly, Luffy cocked his head. "But you saved me after my fight with the pigeon guy."
As if that erased what she had done previously. "And you saved me in Alabasta."
"Only after you helped get me out of that stupid sand."
Robin sighed. At times she couldn't decide if Luffy was truly as obtuse as he looked or if his simple outlook on life only made it seem that way. "I had almost lost my dream. Thank you for helping me find it again."
His eyes widened in comprehension, then a smile stretched across his face. "No problem! I'm gonna be the Pirate King, and every Pirate King needs someone who's really good at finding stuff to help dig up treasure. Besides, you're my friend."
In the end, it was as simple as that. Robin nodded and turned to leave. The rest of the crew was above deck, each pretending not to listen with various degrees of success.
Luffy, Zoro, Nami, Usopp, Sanji, Chopper, Franky. These were her people, the ones that Saul had promised all those years ago. They had been willing to go to hell and back on her behalf, and now it was her duty to become strong enough to do the same.
"I look forward to sharing the adventure."