A/N: At this point in time, let me just say: To the long-dead guy who invented/ discovered/ created Coffee: YOU ARE A FUCKING GOD. Your creation keeps me going when I have had no sleep, and, fun fact, drinking coffee relieves Asthma symptoms. True story. Been testing it extensively for two weeks. Great Bronchio-dialater. Anyway, on to our first interview!

Hybrid: Hey everybody, let's give a big, big round of applause to my first, favorite, and ONLY fangirl; Kisa Shimizu 16! Welcome to the set, Kisa!

Kisa: LET'S DO THIS!

Hybrid: I'd like to ask, what made you open my story in the first place? What drew you in, got you interested?

Naruto: She was probably just browsing idly like you do sometimes.

Hybrid: Oi! I do not 'idly browse'! I read the works of other authors to see if I get inspiration, or if there are stories I myself would like to read!

Kisa: Well... I was actually just looking for Naruto AU's that made him strong, have love, and made it to where it just does NOT follow Cannon...much... but when I ran across this story, I was blown away by the first chapter! :3 :)

Hybrid: So, when I actually started conversing with you through my story, how did you react? I mean, I can imagine you were excited, but how much?

Naruto: Enough to keep reading.

Hybrid: Shut up, Naruto.

Kisa:Yeah, I was super stoked. It was actually the first time anyone mentioned something I had said, so when I saw you mention my comment in the second chapter, I totally did the Fangirl squeal, like 'OMJ OMJ OMJ I MADE SOME-ONE FEEL SPECIAL!' type thing!

Hybrid: *smiles* Well the feeling was mutual. Now, as a major player, technically speaking, in this story's development, where do you, personally, want to see it go? Outside the subject of Senpai, please.

Naruto: Yeah, it's kinda creepy how... avid, you are about Nii-chan.

Hybrid: Nice abscond.

Senpai: *twitches* Hn.

Kisa: Wellll, I WOULD like to see where things go with Jozun, but I still kinda wanna be with Itachi... but you're the one in control of my destiny! Am I a bit scared about you having that control? Not at all! (okay, maybe a bit...)

Senpai: *wishes Shisui was here to save him* meh.

Hybrid: Well, looks like that's all the time we have. Thanks for talking with us, Kisa! We hope you keep reading (even though we know you will), and look forward to hearing more from you in the future!

Naruto: Oi, Nii-chan! Don't forget you lost that bet with Sasuke! You have to pay for my Ramen next time!

Senpai: *heavy sigh*

Chapter 17: Poker Night With Naruto

"Three years..."

"Naruto, are you ok?" Sasuke asked as he watched the blonde playing Shogi with Shikamaru.

"Hm? Oh, yeah. I just realized tomorrow is graduation. Three of the worst, but also somehow the best, years of my life end tomorrow." if one looked closely, one could see a solitary tear trickling down the blonde's cheek; shining, bright, and innocent. Before it got rudely crushed by a roughly calloused hand that the Jinchuuriki had discreetly put up to his face in his 'thinking pose', as his friends had dubbed it. Then he made a move with a knight that made the Nara grip his hair in frustration.

"Checkmate." the blonde had maneuvered Shika's king into a corner, without his notice, and pegged it with a Castle and a Bishop. Oh, the beauty of being a Shinobi.

"B-better luck next time, Shika-kun," Hinata said calmly from where she was stirring a pot next to Choji in the Sarutobi kitchen. Throughout the time she had joined the large group of friends, Naruto had been helping her with her stutter and confidence issues.

"Smells good in there!" Kiba said as he bounded down the stairs, followed by Akamaru and Konohamaru, who both made sounds of agreement. Naruto's young cousin, for some inexplicable reason, had taken to following the Inuzuka Heir and acting nearly subservient to him. Much to Naruto's great displeasure. Kiba moved to enter the kitchen, probably to try sneaking a taste of whatever the two were cooking, only to go into full retreat as forks were thrown at his head and stuck in the wall. He hid behind Naruto.

"Kona, go wash up before the Heads arrive," Naruto said to his cousin calmly as he folded up the Shogi board. Though he had been following Kiba, Konohamaru knew better than to listen to him over Naruto, and so rushed back up the stairs to clean himself and get on fresh clothes. Tonight, the Sarutobi house would be full of important clan heads, the most powerful people in Konoha. Tonight was Poker Night. Every third Thursday of the month, Hiruzen would invite all the clan heads for poker, and occasionally a few members of the civilian council as well.

At that exact moment, there were several knocks on the door, and Naruto rose to answer. His friends, sans Hinata and Choji, who were still cooking, zipped up the stairs as quickly as they could. None wished to face their parents, or siblings, at the moment. Naruto opened the door and smiled, bowing slightly to his numerous guests.

"Welcome to Poker Night! Jiji will be down in a moment, but in the meantime, please find a seat at the table and get comfortable!" he stepped aside to allow a stream of people through.

Hyuuga Hiashi gave him a slight nod, Inuzuka Tsume ruffled his hair on her way by, as did Yamanak Inoichi, Akimichi Chouji silently put a pot in his hands with a smile. The man always brought his wife's famous stew to poker night, which was summarily stored for later to feed the family and the pot returned later. Nara Shikaku muttered a greeting. The next guest was a surprise to Naruto. Haruno Meubiki walked through the door, accompanied by her daughter Sakura. The young pinkette took one look at her host and silently followed her mother. Naruto merely blinked blankly.

"Yo," came a lazy greeting by a silver-haired Jounin.

"So, the Hatake Clan finally accepts Poker Night invite, eh?" Naruto said dryly. Kakashi merely shrugged. A bout of hacks caught Naruto's attention, and he turned to see none other than Jozun entering, massaging his throat gingerly. Naruto's eyebrow shot into his hairline.

"Jozun? What are you doing here?"

"I'm here for Poker." a blonde eyebrow shot even higher.

"Uh..."

"Sekazu Clan head." the other eyebrow joined the first.

"You went back to your clan?" Jozun grimaced.

"Didn't have much choice after my old man croaked, and the Clan Elders couldn't agree on anyone else to replace him. So they sent out a desperate plea to the Clan Heir, me, to return and assume... how did they put it? 'My rightful, required, and righteous position as the most noble clan head of the great Sekazu Clan,' frankly, it's a bigger pain than having Kisa on my case for forgetting my medication, but it's worth it to be able to sit in on the highest stakes poker game in the Village. I've been wanting in on the Kage Shuffle for years." Naruto couldn't help but chuckle as he waved the man through.

"Heads up, Jozun. Nii-chan is coming too." Jozun grunted.

"Sensei and I have reached an understanding. Plus, I really don't want to mess tonight up." the tall Jounin rubbed his hands together and smiled almost lecherously. "Poker with the Hokage... wonder if my luck'll hold..." he left through the door to the Poker Parlor to find a seat. Itachi immediately walked in the front door, smiled slightly at Naruto, and continued to his seat. Naruto waited a moment longer, then closed the door, seeing no-one else approaching.

Damn, Jiji was hoping the Hebi Clan head, Danzo, and Shibi would show. They NEVER come to Poker Night.

You just want to fleece them for everything they've got and then some. Naruto would not dispute Kurama's claim. He turned into the parlor to see everyone seated, leaving three chairs open, and Choji was already putting out the snack trays. Hiruzen and Asuma both quickly descended from upstairs and took their seats. Naruto grinned maliciously as he took the final seat. The Haruno woman looked like she was about to start screaming.

"Naru wasn't born into the Sarutobi Clan, Meubiki. He's not legally, nor can he be the clan heir. He can, however, represent his own birth clan, the Uzumaki," Asuma yawned, cutting off her explosive outburst.

"I don't care so much about that, as about the fact that he's a child." Haruno Meubiki was many things; Mother, widow, councilwoman, and a brutal haggler among them. However, petty was not one of them. She had never, in the few dealings she'd had with Naruto, ever blamed him for the Kyuubi's actions. She had much the same outlook about the blonde as Hiashi did; she disliked him for his pranks. Naruto smirked at the woman.

"Wassa matter? Afraid you'll lose a friendly game of Poker to a teenager?" several snorts of laughter went off around the table.

"Friendly, my ass," muttered Tsume, still sore about the money she'd lost the previous month to Choza.

"Naruto-baka! My mom isn't afraid of losing to you at cards!" {Cha! She'll wipe your stupid toad wallet dry!} (three guesses).

"Sakura, I appreciate your opinion, but I will ask you to lower your volume several octaves, as we are indoors," Naruto said coolly. "And before you start yelling at me, let me remind you we are in my house, and I would be well within my rights to throw you out on your ass." Hiruzen and Asuma said nothing. Technically, it was Asuma's house, seeing as he was the Sarutobi clan head, but they wanted Naruto to be able to get his point across. More snorts of laughter. Sakura turned red, but kept her mouth shut as she glared at Naruto. His response was a superior and condescending smirk.

"Let's get the game under way, shall we?" asked the aged Hokage, as he shuffled and dealt out the cards. Hinata chose that moment to walk out, greet everyone, then promptly ignore them and call up the stairs.

"Food's ready!" any questions were cut off by the stampede of teenagers to the kitchen from upstairs. Kiba, Sasuke, Ino, Shino, and Konohamaru rushed past, with Ino lugging Shikamaru, and disappeared into the kitchen/ dining room. The adults blinked stupidly, then looked after the retreating form of the Hyuuga Heiress.

"Was that Shibi's boy?" Inoichi was the first to speak. Naruto nodded as he looked at his hand.

"Yeah, Shino comes around here a lot lately. If you'll excuse me a moment..." the blond got up from his seat and vanished into the kitchen, to return a moment later carrying a bowl. Tsume's stomach growled, indicating she smelled the food from the opposite end of the room.

"That has got to be the best smelling curry I've ever sniffed."

Naruto took a bite of his food with the spoon, not really paying attention to it, while looking at his hand again. He swallowed before answering.

"It's not curry. It's some recipe Hinata-chan found at Leaf Pages while looking for a scroll about Genjutsu. She said it's called Gumbo." Several stomachs growled as the smell permeated the room. But dinner wasn't served for the Poker players until the tenth hand. Naruto refrained from telling them that they could actually get some before it was brought out to them. He wanted to see the tortured expressions.

"Where are your bowls and spoons, Hokage-sama?" Jozun piped up, leaning forward. The others, sans Kakashi, looked at him, scandalized.

"Jozun... we aren't served until the tenth round," Kakashi said in a bored tone. Jozun shrugged.

"What's to stop us from getting it ourselves? I'm not going to sit around and wait for someone to cook, plate and serve me food when I can do it myself."

"Young man, that is exactly what a Clan Head does," Hiashi said blandly as he indicated to the Hokage, the Dealer, that he wanted a card. Jozun snorted and gave the 'stay' motion.

"Whatever. I'm getting some. The bowls and spoons Hiruzen?" he repeated, dropping all sense of formality. He'd always adjusted quickly to a new situation. Hiruzen smiled.

"Bowls are in the cabinet on the right, spoons are in the drawer right below it. Konohamaru can show you." Jozun nodded, rose and exited. He returned a few moments later toting a bowl, and returned to his seat, immediately digging in, while still paying attention to the game, which it quickly became apparent was most likely going to him. He had two kings.

"Alright, everyone is staying, reveal." came the command of the dealer, who had a queen and a nine. Jozun was right, he won the hand. The pile of ryo was pushed toward him, and the next hand began. This time, Naruto immediately won. He threw down his ace and ten with a triumphant 'Yatta!'. The small pot, about a thousand ryo from each person, was pulled to the excited blonde. Asuma and Hiruzen hid their smirks. The men, and women, around them would swear by the end of the night to never come to Poker night again, but they'd be back again next time, hoping to win back their dignity. The next few hands were split, nearly even between the blonde and the Sekazu. Asuma was stunned that anyone had Naruto's luck tied. Only two hands had gone to neither of them, and they both went to Hiashi. By the time the food was brought out, Choza was out of money for the trip, and merely sat back to watch the others tear their hair out.

Tsume was the first to crack under the pressure of Naruto and Jozun's insane luck. That and she was out of money, but wanted a chance to win something back. She stood with a snarl and slammed her hand down on the table.

"I'M PUTTING THE INUZUKA CLAN JUTSU LIBRARY ON THE TABLE!" Hiashi choked on a bit of chicken in his gumbo, Inoichi turned deathly pale, Shikaku sat up straight, wide awake, and Choza spewed some of his tea over Inoichi. But Naruto and Jozun both lit up like Fireworks. After his airway was cleared, with the help of Asuma, Hiashi began sputtering.

"ARE YOU INSANE WOMAN?! YOU'D PUT YOUR CLAN SECRETS AT STAKE OVER A CARD GAME?!" Tsume leveled a heated glare at him.

"You were about to do the same, and you know it." Hiashi grumbled under his breath, but no-one heard a denial.

"Is that allowed?" Jozun asked casually, trying not to bounce in his seat. The Inuzuka Jutsu combined with his Limit Break would be nigh unstoppable. Naruto was thinking something similar, but with his shadow clones. Hiruzen nodded sagely and took a pull from his pipe.

"Technically, we never put rules forbidding it. I just didn't think anyone would do it again after Fugaku lost the Uchiha Library to Asuma several years ago." Cue a loud groan and the sound of palm introducing itself to face. A few of the people present had to snicker at Itachi's reaction to the news.

"I was wondering why he was making copies of every scroll we had..."

"Anyway, let's go!" Jozun practically radiated enthusiasm.

"I'll sit this one out," Itachi said, blowing lightly on his spoonful of hot rice and gumbo.

"Me too," Inoichi said tartly, pushing away his empty bowl. Everyone else was quickly dealt, and the oddest thing to happen in the history of Poker... happened.

"BLACKJACK!" came two simultaneous cries of triumph. Both Jozun and Naruto had been dealt a Face and an Ace. Tsume paled and nearly squiggled out of her seat in a puddle. Shikaku, who had been gaping stupidly at both winning hands, tried reattaching his jaw.

"Wow... Kaa-san has to make two copies of every scroll? Man that sucks, especially considering I'll probably have to help her," came the impressed drawl of Kiba. The adults all looked up to notice that their children had joined them in the Parlor, with the six-year-old Konohamaru having climbed up into Hiruzen's lap.

"Why is Oji-san playing as Sarutobi head anyway? Wouldn't Jiji be Clan Head?" Sasuke asked, cocking his head slightly. And Sakura, who until that point had been sitting quietly, watching everything at the table (not having seen him in the stampede earlier) jumped up and latched onto his arm with hearts for eyes.

"Sasuke-kun!" no matter how the younger Uchiha tried prying his arm out of the vice grip, the latch just got tighter and tighter. After several frantic eye exchanges with Naruto, and a quick flurry of Kawarimi, Naruto sat back in his spot, Sasuke was next to him, and Sakura was obliviously hugging Ino's arm hard enough to cut off circulation.

"Forehead, let go of my arm! Agh! It's turning blue! Daddy help!" Sakura snapped her eyes open and quickly released the blonde, looking around frantically for Sasuke. She saw him looking over Naruto's shoulder at his next hand of cards, which had been whittled down to Jozun, Naruto, Kakashi, and Shikaku.

"So is anyone going to answer my question?" Sasuke asked. No-one detected any trace of a demand or the arrogance they had expected.

"The Shodai made a law that the acting Hokage can't be a Clan Head, because it would give them two separate votes in Council meetings," Naruto yawned. "as expected, the Nindaime was more than happy with this, because he was Clan Heir for the Senju at the time, because Hashirama had no children at that point." Sasuke just grunted in understanding as the game continued. He also evaded every other attempt Sakura made at getting near him. By staying close to Naruto. Who Sakura was scared of for some odd reason. Eventually, after three more hands, the players had dwindled to just the blonde and the sickly man. They eyed each other critically.

"What say we call it a night before we end up bankrupting the whole village?" Jozun finally proposed. Naruto nodded acceptance, and the entire room, sans one clueless six-year-old, exhaled a collective breath of relief. Which was quickly sucked back in through their asses when the two turned to Tsume with malicious, sadistic smirks.

"Oh crap..."

A/N: AND THAT'S THE END OF IT! I thank you all *bows* now, since I had the interview at the beginning, time for reviews!

Kisa: They all knew Duckbutt wouldn't be happy when he found out about the Genin team, and, contrary to popular belief, Itachi IS an Uchiha. The 'Hn' was an exhibition of that. But Asuma and Naruto, who had been dealing with Sasuke for longer, and knew his new personality better, knew he would get violent. That's where that came from.

xXAliceBlackXx: Glad you're enjoying it *eyesmiles like Kakashi*

darkemperor1: Three in a row, eh? I had another person do that a few chappies ago... anyway, glad you like it!

lokithehotty: Yeah, I didn't want to go through the whole process though, hence the time skip... ehehe

FleurSuoh: Then keep with it! :3

Okay, yes, I just did ALL the reviews since my last chapter was posted, but seeing as there weren't that many, I thought 'what the hell.' Anywhosamawhatser, news from my life!

I recently got Wifi FINALLY installed into my house (recently as in the day I'm posting this recently), so that won't really be an issue. But, the downside is this chapter took my forever to write 'cause I got injured at work and didn't have full use of my left hand for about two weeks. Typing one-handed, and with my left ring and pinky fingers. Not fun. But, I'm okay now, with only mild scarring on my index finger, so don't worry! The rest got off lucky... that's about it really. Make sure to look for an Omake next chapter! Oh, and about next chapter... nah, I'll leave it a surprise.

Ja Ne!