A/N: So yeah, that happened.

Kisa: You have no idea how much I laughed at that. Seriously. I almost died from oxygen deprivation. Yes, I am a guy. I thought that would have been obvious when I made a self-insert to this story in the form of Jozun. Why the hell would I genderbend myself? Unless a crack fic/ chapter. That is just too hilarious though! No, I don't just flirt with anyone and anything, although I was joking with you. Anywho, I'm actually pretty good at getting a read on people from a few interactions. You're not the first person to be surprised that I got their personality spot-on.

Foxy Engineer: sorry about the confusion. Naruto could unlock two of the three, for example the chains and the Rinnegan, or the Rinnegan and the Shikotsumyaku, but the third would be locked. And as to the two that were chosen? Poll.

Srsly tho, why do people hate on the Shikotsumyaku? I, personally, find it to be immensely useful. But then again, I am the guy who trains in sword and staff combat, so having the ability to form weapons infinitely from my very bones would be very good... plus I could jut my Humorous out when I elbow somebody in the face, causing more damage. Eh, to each his own I guess.

Additional Disclaimer for the morons who can't figure it out: I don't own the song. Oh, and this is a song chapter :3

Happy birthday hmscgod! And happy Valentine's Day to all you other poor suckers out there who actually believe in Hallmark holidays and go out to spend inordinate amounts of cash on shit that'll be gone in five seconds anyway. Seriously.

Chapter 23: Wrong Side of Heaven

Naruto age: 3

I spoke to God Today, and she said that she's ashamed

What have I become, what have I done?

Kami looked down in disgust upon the creations she was once so proud of: the human race. In the new Era, in every Hidden Village, they shunned their own for things beyond their control.

I spoke to the Devil today, and he swears he's not to blame

and I understood, cause I feel the same

Kami turned to her darker half, Yami, with a glare, and he held up his hands in an 'I surrender' gesture.

"Wasn't me, chickadee. They did it to themselves," he said. She just sighed in defeat.

Arms wide open, I stand alone

I'm no Hero, and I'm not made of stone

A three year old Naruto went to say 'hello' to a child at the park, but their parents saw this, and pulled the kid away with a disgusted look, leaving Naruto and the child, who had moved to hug each other, in a rather touching display of immediate childhood affection, utterly confused. Naruto slowly lowered his arms as the tears began to well up in his cerulean eyes.

Right or wrong, I can hardly tell.
I'm on the wrong side of heaven, and the righteous side of hell.
The wrong side of heaven, and the righteous side, righteous side of hell.

"So, I get ignored for no reason?" he whispered to himself. "What did I do to deserve it?" he began to run away as the tears finally slid down his cheeks, and ideas started to form in his young mind. Ideas involving revenge. And water balloons.

"I don't know if Jiji would approve... but..."

I heard from God today, and she sounded just like me.
What have I done, and who have I become.

Kami wanted to reach down and pluck the poor blond up, if only for a bit, just to get him away from his personal hell. She wanted to coddle him and make him smile... but she couldn't. It might have had something to do with the fact She herself had a mischievous side.

I saw the Devil today, and he looked a lot like me.
I looked away, I turned away!

It took her a moment to realize she actually knew someone with his exact shade of blond hair. She turned to Yami, with an eyebrow raised.

"What? You expected me to stay up here all the time, never go down and wreak havoc, or have any fun? Besides, it's like thirty generations, he can't actually get anything from me." Kami sighed and palmed her face.

Arms wide open, I stand alone.
I'm no hero, and I'm not made of stone.

The next day, Naruto was walking into a clothing store, looking for something to replace the rags he currently had on, and was immediately grabbed by the scruff and thrown out. Hard. He felt the damned tears coming back, threatening to spill over.

Right or wrong, I can hardly tell.
I'm on the wrong side of heaven, and the righteous side of hell.
The wrong side of heaven, and the righteous side, righteous side of hell.

"Every time..." he forced the tears back, and began formulating more revenge, once again wondering if the Hokage would approve or not.

"I don't wanna hurt him... hmmm...maybe... paint? Or, no! Itching powder!"

I'm not defending, downward descending,
Falling further and further away!
Getting closer every day!

Over time, Naruto's pranks grew more an more serious, but never to the point of viciousness; quick drying, non-toxic glue disguised as crème on a pie, swapping all the sugar in a restaurant with salt, and but of course, somehow painting the entire Hokage Tower bright green with Ramen everywhere. Seriously, how did no-one see that?

I'm getting closer every day, to the end.
To the end, the end, the end,
I'm getting closer every day!

Eventually, a thought entered his young head. A thought that would apparently make everyone happy, and end his pain in one fell swoop. Everybody wins, right?

Arms wide open, I stand alone.
I'm no hero, and I'm not made of stone.

Three days later, Naruto awoke in the hospital, his hands restrained, but no-one was in the room with him. He felt the tears once more, and openly wept.

"Why? Why save me? What's the point? I was doing everyone a favor, wasn't I?"

Right or wrong, I can hardly tell.
I'm on the wrong side of heaven, and the righteous side of hell.
The wrong side of heaven, and the righteous side of hell.
The wrong side of heaven, and the righteous side, the righteous side of hell.

In the ceiling, the Hidden ANBU member with silver gravity-defying hair shook his head sadly as small tears leaked from the corner of his eye. He whispered to himself.

"Not everyone, Otouto. Not everyone."

A/N: Okay, so I couldn't think of the best situations for all of the lyrics, but I tried. I might do a few more Song Chapters before this story is done, so keep an eye out. But yeah, I was listening to this song, 'Wrong Side of Heaven' by Five Finger Death Punch in case you didn't know, on my Itunes, and I was just like... 'WTF does this fit so perfectly to my story, and why do I have the sudden inspirations to do this at Three in the fucking morning? I have work later!' that, and I got a PM letting me know some shit I did wrong, like how Kurama appears to have Canon backstory, but is immediately buddy-buddy with the blond. So, a few chapters every now and then will interrupt the story to fill in some missing details... just like in Canon Manga! Eyyyyyy filler backstory!

Anywhosamawhatser, I've always liked the idea that Naruto is of godly descent, you know... other than the whole... reincarnation thing. But I still wanted him to not literally be a god. It was just a little thing, it won't have any effect in the story's Canon.