Chasing shadows under moonlight

Through the desert on a hot night

And for a second there we'd won

Yeah, we were innocent and young

It was the thunder that woke Missy up first.

She had bolted up immediately as the deafening roar shook the entire building and the windows lit up brightly as heavy rain pelted mercilessly against them. Kaoru stirred as the model leaned forward, taking the warmth of her body and the throw blanket she was using with her.

"What is it?" Kaoru mumbled blearily, his hand across his face as he repositioned himself on the couch. He didn't remember falling asleep during the movie but it didn't surprise him that he had.

Missy stood up and moved towards the window, pushing the curtain aside. Ever since she was a child, she had loved thunderstorms. There was something about the way that lightning broke apart the sky, threads of white and violet racing across open space, that brought a distinct calmness to her. Kneeling down on the opposite couch, she leaned against its back, her face close to the glass.

Kaoru grinned before following behind her. "I take it you like storms?" he asked softly as he sat down next to her.

"Always have," she admitted. She leaned into her classmate as he put his arm around her waist. "All the chaos up there is . . . oddly calming, I guess."

He hummed in agreement. "It's like how if it's chaos up there, it feels calm here by comparison."

"Exactly."

"I wish Haruhi felt the same way about storms that you do."

Missy turned to Kaoru, eyes wide at his offhanded comment. He looked back at her before it clicked and they both jumped off the sofa as another strike of lightning threaded across the sky. "Haruhi! Dammit!" Missy shouted as she grabbed her rainboots from the hall closet and the spare key haruhi had given her from behind the picture next to the door.

Kaoru slammed the door shut behind him as they raised down the half exposed hallway that covered the distance between Missy's home and the apartment of their classmate. "Ranka-san shouldn't be home yet. Do you guys have any system for this?" Missy shouted over the rain.

He shook his head, grateful that the overhang kept the water from hitting them. "Kyoya-senpai made a spreadsheet awhile back and he notifies us for when our next turn is usually, but Hikaru and I haven't been by in awhile. I think Hani-senpai has been coming by the most, but I don't really know," he admitted.

They stopped in front of Haruhi's door and noticed that the lights were off in the front room. Placing the key in the lock, Missy turned the handle before quickly pushing the door open. Missy knew that Haruhi was afraid of thunderstorms after she had told her about her experience in Okinawa. She knew that the honor student was prone to hide in the wardrobe next to her bed with her blanket wrapped around her so she planned to look there first.

What she did not plan for was finding Tamaki on Haruhi's couch.

Missy had to suppress a squeal when she noticed the senior's sprawled form wrapped around Haruhi, noise canceling headphones placed over her ears, and a fluffy white oversized throw blanket wrapped around them both. Tamaki's arms were wrapped loosely around her waist, her back against his chest. She was leaning into him comfortably, her breathing deep and even.

Tamaki's eyes opened when he heard the door. He looked at Missy and Kaoru and their disheveled hair and clothes in shock as they stood in the open doorway. His breath caught in his throat and his face reddened but he refused to move from his spot. Instead, he untangled one arm and raised a finger to his lips, pleading with them to be quiet before pointing towards the door.

Kaoru was the first to understand. "Sorry!" he whispered as he pushed Missy out of the apartment, locking the door behind them. They both stood outside the apartment, shock written across their faces as they wondered how many times that exact scenario had occurred.

"Well, I guess we know why Kyoya-senpai hasn't asked you or Hikaru to come by in awhile," Missy muttered under her breath.

The young designer hummed in agreement as they walked back to Missy's apartment in silence, the rain still falling heavily around them. As Missy opened the door to her apartment, she was nearly knocked over by a barrel of fluff. Even though he was just a few months old, Tilney was already big enough to throw his weight around when he was excited to see his master. Kaoru reached out to steady Missy as he shut the door behind him. She smiled gratefully in his direction as she bent down to calm the puppy. Tilney yawned happily before moving towards his bed and lying down, paws next to his nose.

As the samoyed settled down, Missy straightened up. She was surprised to find Kaoru looking at her intently, his arms crossed casually across his chest as he leaned against the wall. "What is it?" she asked him.

The smile on his face was soft as he exhaled. "I should have known. I guess I had wondered about them ever since the fair last year."

"Them?" she inquired as she walked towards her classmate.

"Tamaki-senpai and Haruhi," he explained.

She nodded in response. "You think they've been together since last year?"

Kaoru shrugged. "It's possible."

Eyebrows raised, she responded casually. "And they never told the Host club? I thought everyone was a family."

He pushed off the wall and took a step towards her. "That's probably why they didn't tell anyone. To Tamaki-senpai, we are his family. I guess Prince Charming gave Cinderella the glass slipper after all."

"Come again?"

Kaoru shrugged as he reached out, tugging her down to the couch with him. "Just my own metaphor, I guess. I think the boss is worried about messing anything up. And knowing Haruhi, she is probably worried about keeping her identity secret and doing her best not to offend anyone in the process."

"You think their relationship would have hurt people?" she asked as she leaned into him.

He sighed, his arm sliding around her waist comfortably. "Haruhi was . . . special to all of us."

Missy couldn't help the pang of jealousy that settled in her stomach. So he was in love with her. All of them had been, at some point or other. After all, she was their secret. A secret they all held in common, a hidden gem from the rest of their world. "You were in love with her," the model offered quietly.

She knew she wasn't allowed to resent Haruhi. It wasn't the honor student's fault, after all. She never really did anything to encourage it. But somehow, Missy still found a sliver of bitterness when she contemplated the situation.

The moment was met with silence. Missy could hear the heavy beating of her heart as she looked up at Kaoru.

His face was still, obviously trapped in rapt contemplation of what she had indicated. She knew that he wouldn't lie to her. Even if it hurt, he would never do that to her. He just wasn't that kind of man.

"Maybe I was . . ." he answered softly, his voice wistful. Kaoru looked down at her. "Does that bother you?"

She wanted to say no. Even more, she wanted it to be true.

Missy bit her lip, distracting herself from the answer. "I know that it shouldn't. It wouldn't be fair to her for it to bother me," she finally muttered.

"You know that it's different with you, don't you? The way I felt about Haruhi was special. Hell, I still feel that Haruhi is special. But it's different," he insisted earnestly, his amber eyes staring her down intently.

"Why is it different?" She could hear the panic in her voice, threads of anxiety woven in the timbre of her words. Missy didn't like the feeling of insecurity that settled in her chest.

He replied almost immediately, as though the metaphor had been on his mind for awhile. "I suppose it's the difference between Romeo's love for Rosaline, and his love for Juliet. Did he care about Rosaline? Definitely. But it was different from how he felt about Juliet. I won't say that I don't care for Haruhi, because I do, and I bet I always will," Kaoru admitted warmly. "She is apart of the club, and that makes her family."

"I shouldn't have brought this up-"

"No, I'm glad you did. You deserve the full truth, and to know that you will always get it from me."

"You know, Romeo and Juliet died," she added sardonically. "I don't really want their ending."

He grinned at her change in humor. "I think we will have a very different ending. I like to think that we are a smarter than they were."

As the rain continued to beat against the exterior walls of her home, Missy's mind wandered back to what she had seen. Obviously, there was a reason that Tamaki-senpai and Haruhi kept their relationship a secret. "What would happen to Haruhi if the secret of their relationship got out?"

Kaoru exhaled knowingly as his mind had been on the same topic since they had found their friends entangled less than an hour before. "It would damage both of their reputations. Some in our circle would probably label her as a gold-digger. And, depending on how Tamaki-senpai's family felt about it, it could ruin her chances of going to a good University. Not to mention, her reputation with her classmates." Kaoru leaned back, nestling closer to Missy as his fingers threaded through the ends of her dark hair.

Missy couldn't help the gasp that escaped her lips. Her face fell as she thought of the implications. "I know it shouldn't surprise me, considering my upbringing and everything, but I guess my time in America has made me forget how snobbish both my English and Japanese sides can be," she snorted in dismay.

They sat in silence for a few more moments, both contemplating what it would mean if their friends' secret was revealed. It could be disastrous for both of them, especially Haruhi.

The model was the first to break the silence. She broke it tentatively, as though afraid to shatter the fragile notions that had been created in her living room. "And- and what about me? What happens to me if we go public with this? What if we start dating, officially, and everyone finds out? What happens then?"

Kaoru looked at her, his eyes wide. He wasn't surprised that these questions had come to light and he could sense her immediate unease with the situation. "My family wouldn't care, and the other families won't care once they know-"

"-Who my parents are?" Missy interjected absently. Her gaze was distant as she stared at the windows. It made her long for the familiarity of the south texas tropical storms that she was used to. Something about the rain here was different, and she couldn't figure out why.

"Yeah. Isn't the Queen a cousin?"

"Second cousin, three times removed."

"And there's money so-"

"I won't claim them," she said adamantly.

He could see her stubborn streak flaring up, her independent attitude getting ready to sink in for the kill. She shifted so that she was facing him instead of leaning against his chest. There was pride in her dark blue eyes. Not pride for her family or circumstance. No, this was a pride in herself. "I can't claim them," she insisted.

"Why not?" he asked, his curiosity piqued. "I know you haven't talked in awhile, but based on what you said, it seemed like they'd probably still claim you as one of their own."

Missy shook her head. "I won't do it. And I won't-" she shuddered as the words bubbled up from inside her, giving life to the fear she felt, "-I won't be like them. I won't be like Haruhi. Kaoru, they'll discredit me! They'll say that I'm only here because I'm sleeping with you!"

"But you're not!" he insisted, his defensive instincts finally kicking in. "You're good at what you do and they'll see it."

"There will always be speculation, Kaoru, you know that. It won't work. It'll damage your career, your family's credibility, and my reputation. I can't have you, Kaoru."

He frowned at her. "Don't make this so black and white, Missy. If we give it time, everyone will come around. The club loves you, and so does my family. Who cares what everyone else thinks? We can make this work," he insisted, trying desperately to regain his composure.

"No, Kaoru, you know as well as I do that there will always be a cloud over us, staining my reputation and their perception of you ability to judge. They'll discredit us both! They'll label me as some whore and you as some cad-"

"Do you really think this is the time to bring in your 'old english' dialect?" he intoned, irritation seeping into his voice.

Missy tensed. She had never heard that tone from him before. She had never heard him yell, raise his voice, or even express any lasting distress. Really, he had been a ray of comfort and calm for as long as she had known him. Clearly, this conversation was touching a nerve.

But she pressed on, unwilling to be deterred at her own pride flared up in her stomach. "I can't throw away my life for you, Kaoru, and I won't let you throw away yours for me. I shouldn't have invited you over last night. It wasn't fair to you."

Kaoru balked. "What are you talking about? What are- what are you saying, exactly?"

The tension in the air was tangible. They were both unwilling to back down. She was unwilling to hold on, and he was unwilling to let go.

She took a deep breath for speaking shakily. "I'm saying that this was a mistake. I'm saying that I can't be with you. Not right now, anyway. I can't be like them, don't you see?" she pleaded with him.

The young designer's eyes softened as he looked at the girl in front of him. She was won and lost in a night. He knew her well enough that in the span of moments, her mind had been made up. She was made of fire and ice, with a quicksilver tongue and decisive nature, courtesy of her independence. This was the same girl who had hopped a plane in a single night to find her brother, and the girl who had put him in his place after just meeting him. She was fearless.

But she wasn't his.

There was a phrase that echoed through his mind. Not right now, anyway.

Ah, so that was it.

In that moment, he felt clarity reach him. Really, he had two choices. He could continue to fight with her before finally succumbing to her willful nature and loser her forever, or he could let her go for now.

He had never been so grateful for all the lessons in patience that Hikaru had taught him.

She was tantamount to a hurricane. She found a course of a destruction and she followed it. He was a stormchaser, hellbent on getting as close as he could, if only to watch the beauty within the chaos as he searched for the legendary paradise that could be found at the center of it.

He took a deep breath before speaking softly. Kaoru could sense her fear, cascading off in waves. "Do you really want me to go?"

Missy almost broke when he spoke to her so softly. She could see his hurt, the pain in his eyes as he was shut out from someone else's life yet again. But she couldn't break her resolve. Not yet, anyway.

With a firm nod, she replied. Her heart felt like it was being ripped in two as he slumped into his seat, his eyes downcast.

"Maybe . . . maybe one day. Maybe, after we graduate and everything is sorted out and I'm not under contract any more . . ."

"Maybe . . ." he repeated back to her quietly.

She felt her eyes watering, but she couldn't turn back now. "I'm sorry, Kaoru. But I just. . . I can't have you in secret. I can't be with you in the shadows."

He reached out and took her hand, leaning forward with his other hand on her cheek. "I know. It's not who you are, and it isn't who I am either. But that's okay. I can wait."

"Kaoru," she whispered, leaning into his touch. "I can't ask that of you."

Kaoru shrugged, a sad smile on the corner of his lips. "I know. That's why I'm telling you. Let's see what a year and a half can give us."

A/N: I know I know, go ahead a hate me. I hate me too. A special thanks to those that reviewed. I felt so sad about this chapter that I wasn't motivated to write it at all, so it has taken me forever. But then a lovely reviewer started reviewing each chapter and I felt so damn motivated that I had to finish this chapter that has been eating at me for weeks.

-Star