Dragonbuster117: Technically, both of his personalities are completely real, but at the same time absolutely false. I'll explain. When he's wearing the mask, Kage is absolute, there exists no other entity in that body. When the mask is off, his everyday personality is present. He doesn't exactly have D.I.D (I'm still used to calling it M.P.D. Or Multiple Personality Disorder) or Disassociative Identity Disorder (D.I.D. You see what I D.I.D. There? Eh? Eh?) but it's more like the dual personality he has is his coping mechanism, Like Kakashi's habitual lateness, or Tsunade's drinking and gambling. Essentially, he has a switch that gets flipped when he's in the mask, making him as cold and ruthless as possible.
Xnaruhina: No, Kurama can't block mental disorders, under which Night Terrors are clasified. He can take care of physical problems all damn day, but despite being inside Naruto's mind, he holds no sway over the blonde's mentality. Also, yes, Kaguya was quite literally a Goddess, so she's not considered, and as for Jinchuuriki fully bonding with their Bijuu, I have three examples from Canon( spoilers BTW in case you haven't gotten that far): Yagura- the Yondaime Mizukage, Kirabi- or Killer Bee, and Uzumaki Naruto. All three Partnered fully with their respective Bijuu, and yet, they all eventually got their asses kicked, because someone else was stronger or smarter, or more clever, or had better tools. Madara was slamming Naruto around before pulling his shit. So while they are undoubtedly strong, they are not actual gods, despite their partners being Immortal Chakra Entities.
Okay, so someone said that Fem!Haku is OOC in that she bended knee to the man who killed her master in mere moments. No, she didn't. Naruto never killed Zabuza. Zabuza thought he did, because of his KI. It's literally like in the Forest of Death in Canon when Sasuke saw his own death because of Orochimaru's KI. It's almost a Genjutsu, but more visceral. Also, person who is no longer reading this story, of course there isn't much to challenge Naruto. He's a Kage level Shinobi. He was first choice to become ANBU commander, and that roll has to be at the least the third best active shinobi currently in the Village. Otherwise, what's the actual point? If your subordinates can kick your ass, why would you be in charge?
Now that I've got that out of the way, I want to thank each and every one of you. I realize I'm not the best writer in the world, or even on this website, although according to you all I'm up there, and I appreciate all of the feedback you give me. Writing is my passion and with every review, with every constructive criticism, I get better. With every follower or Favorite, my love for the art grows, and I keep my love alive. However; With every great power, comes a huge goddamn shackle to restrain it. I work on this story 'The ANBU Genin' so much, and the reason it's my longest story is because it gets feedback. I really want to work on my other stories, I do, but I literally can't unless I know people are reading them- through the reviews. Now, I'm not trying to beg anyone to go read my stories and review, I'm just telling you the facts about myself. My stories literally cannot be worked on without feedback. Recently, someone gave me a kick in the ass on the other Naruto story I have 'Haruno's Secret' so I'm working on that, even though I will probably keep the chapters there short, it just seems to fit the story better in my opinion, but I'm struggling with my other ongoing stories. I'll open the Chapter I'm working on, and just stare at it blankly for two hours, then close it down and do something else. It's even worse on the novel I'm trying to write because I can't show it to anyone because I'm paranoid they'll try to steal it. It sucks.
Anyway, sorry for the wall of text, let's get to it!
Chaper 34: The Rest Period!
"One more time, Gaki." Simultaneously, four Shinobi charged at Naruto, who was holding his two Katana in the UzuRyuu stance. With only three more days until the Chuunin Exams began, Naruto was getting some last minute training in with his team... or rather, his team was being put through the meat grinder by his clones.
"You know," he commented drily as he dodged out of the way of a kunai, a senbon, and a trench knife. "I'd think four Jounin would do better against one Genin." he then backrolled, with some slight effort due to how unusual the move was, his spine running along the width of the Kubikiribocho as he landed on his feet again. He snapped up his Katana to block Asuma and Kakashi from either side.
"You... are not... a normal... Genin..." Haku panted as she tried taking advantage of Naruto's arms being occupied by drop-kicking him. He countered by jumping and slamming his own foot into the girls' to negate her attack. She and Zabuza, along with the Demon Brothers, had finished interrogation and been inducted into Konoha's forces, Haku and Zabuza as Jounin and the brothers as Chuunin, and had asked every day to spar with the blond.
"True enough," Naruto said, barely winded. "But still, Kakashi is an Ex-ANBU as well, and he's panting nearly as bad as you. Only tou-chan and Zabs are doing alright here," Zabuza growled once more at the nickname- oh how he loathed that damn nickname- and Asuma remained silent.
"Not... all of us... have high... stamina... Naruto," Kakashi panted as he jumped back and flopped down in exhaustion, Haku joining him quickly. Naruto grinned, as his number of opponents and just been halved.
"Suiton: Daibakufu no Jutsu!" Zabuza threw his hand out at the teen, causing Asuma to groan loudly and jump out of the way.
"Bansho Ten'nin!" Zabuza shouted in horror as he felt himself get dragged in front of his blond tormen- opponent and take the full brunt of his own goddamn attack. Naruto waited until the Jutsu canceled itself, then tossed the Demon of the Bloody Mist aside like a ragdoll, snapping around to face Asuma, whom he saw was charging with both his trench knives coated in Wind Chakra. He quickly did the same to his Katana and held them both forward, adopting a more Samurai-kije stance. Asuma stopped and looked around, obviously having been expecting some form of back-up. Then, he dropped his knives and held his hands up in surrender.
"Asuma-sensei," came the lazy drawl of Nara Shikamaru from off to the side, where he was sitting with his two teammates. "You give up way too easily."
"Fine then Shika," Asuma said quickly. "You face Naruto one-on-one." the young genius paled quickly and scuffled backwards. "Yeah, that's what I thought."
"Kurenai-san," Naruto called suddenly. "You can stop trying to catch me in Genjutsu now. They won't work." a dejected sigh followed this declaration, and Yuuhi Kurenai stepped out from some nearby bushes, where she'd been hiding since the start of the spars, attempting to help her fellow Jounin by trapping Naruto in illusions. She was very surprised at his skill, however.
"You... should not be that good, Naruto." Asuma guffawed.
"Naru's ex ANBU, Kure. He was first choice for ANBU Commander five years ago." the woman's jaw dropped sufficiently quickly. She also noted no-one else in the clearing seemed surprised at this revelation. She turned to the Genin sitting on the edge of the clearing, and glared at her own students.
"You knew about this?"
"I found out on his birthday a couple years ago," Kiba said nonchalantly as he fed Akamaru a treat.
"I found out during his 'terror' incident in the Academy," Hinata supplied with a slight blush.
"I didn't know this, but I suspected he was lying about his true skill," Shino said with a slight gloom cloud over his head. Kurenai frowned, then turned to Asuma's team.
"Same as Kiba," Shikamaru said without opening his eyes as he lay on his back.
"Me too," Choji mentioned around his mouth full of chips.
"I fund out the same way Hinata did," Ino grumped. The Ravenette turned to Kakashi and Jozun, who had declined the fight on account of a coughing fit.
Kakashi tiredly held up two fingers, indicating two years, before his arm flopped back to the ground.
"The bastard trained me," Jozun supplied after taking a handful of medicine pills and downing them with a chug of water. "No offense," he added, looking at Naruto.
"None taken," the blond waved.
"Sasuke and Sakura?" Kurenai asked with a heavy sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose.
"Sasukle found out the same day Kakashi did, and pinky learned the fact last week in Wave." an effeminate shriek of rage followed Naruto's declaration, and Sakura came flying at him from behind, aiming a punch at his head.
"STOP CALLING ME PINKY!" Naruto snorted and caught her fist, slinging her around and throwing her into Ino.
"Your hair is pink, get used to it. And who said you could stop your training?"
"Your clone let us take a break," Sasuke said as he walked up, his hands in his pockets, Inari by his side panting heavily. Naruto nodded.
"NII-CHAAAAAAAN!" a flying blur shot from the foliage and slammed into the wall that was Naruto, resolving into Konohamaru, followed soon after by a grimacing Gaara and a smirking Itachi.
"Had I known your cousin would be so hard to keep track of, I would not have allowed myself to be tricked into watching him today, Naruto," Gaara said with a mild glare, which Naruto shrugged off.
"Oh come one, Gaara, it's not like you're doing anything else." Naruto said, oblivious to the two children glaring at each other. Kono and Inari had become rivals in a sense, and their goal was Naruto's attention. Being the same age and looking up to the same person tended to have some side-effects.
"Naru-nii, you said we'd go get some Barbecue!" Konohamru whined, hiding his smirk.
"Aniki, you still have to show me how to throw Shuriken!" Inari cried, smothering his grin. Naruto sweatdropped at the obvious ploys to garner his attention.
"Did someone say Barbecue?" surprisingly, it was Haku who was the first to react, sitting up quickly, all fatigue apparently forgotten at the mention of the word. Even Choji looked at the petite girl in surprise, her reaction time to food trumping his own.
"Ah, shit, here we go," Zabuza sighed from his position, laying on his back.
"Yeah, Naru-nii-san said he'd take me to Yakinu BBQ for lunch." The Ice Style user was beside the blond in a blink, her eyes slightly crazed as she gripped his collar.
"Where is this place?" she demanded as everyone tried getting over their shock. Naruto tentatively gripped her wrists and removed them from the collar of his hoodie.
"I was going to invite everyone anyway," he said cautiously, then coughed under his breath. "At Jiji's expense."
Hokage Tower
A Cold Shiver ran down Hiruzen's spine, and he had a sudden urge to burn the restaurant district of the Village to the ground.
"Where is the epicenter?" he thought out loud to himself, confusing his ANBU guards. "It's not Ichiraku's... it's not the Soba shop...that leaves..." his eyes widened comically and his mouth fell open in horror. Inoichi had told him about one of his new Jounin's obsession with Barbecue, which apparently almost rivaled Naruto's with Ramen. "Yakinu," Before anyone could say anything else, he was gone with only a breeze to tell his passing, hoping to make it before it was too late.
Yakinu BBQ with the group
"Three, two, one," Naruto counted in a bored tone, picking his fingernail with one of his Senbon needles.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" everyone turned to see Sarutobi Hiruzen on his knees right inside the door of the restaurant, his fists raised skyward as he howled in anguish, all dignity forgotten.
"How the hell did you time that so well?" Zabuza asked the blond after getting over seeing the Hokage screaming like that.
"Jiji has learned to feel when his wallet is going to get lighter, and after some trial and goddamit"
"Trial and Goddamnit?" Jozun cut in.
"It's how I say trial and error," Naruto supplied. (A/N: that's actually how I phrase it tbh. Thank Dark Souls) "Anyway, after some trial and goddamnit, he learned to find the specific point that will lighten said wallet. He just never makes it in time."
"In time for what?" Kakashi asked in clear confusion.
"To stop Naru from putting things on his tab," Asuma chuckled, just glad his son had chosen his father as the target and not him. Naruto grinned cheekily at his grandfathers' continued anguish, and went through a quick series of handsigns. "Back up!" Asuma suddenly shouted. The table cleared quickly.
"Kuchiyose no Jutsu! Triple Threat!" three simultaneous puffs of smoke roughly the size of Akamaru, who whined, appeared, then cleared to reveal Naruto's personal summons; Gamakichi of the Toads, Karimaru of the Crows, and Hatsu of the Ospreys. "Hey guys, wassup?"
"Naruto! What's up big bro? Need some help?" Gamakichi spoke for all three.
"Nah, thought you guys would like to relax with me and some friends, maybe chow some grub with us." the summons then seemed to realize just where they were and how many people were around. They'd had to put four separate tables together to make enough room for the whole group. Kichi's eyes widened at the sight of a bowl of mints, and Hatsu's widened at the sight of the dog currently growling in his face. "Kiba, control your partner." Akamaru was grabbed by his scruff as he whined once more.
"You... you have three contracts?" Zabuza queried, his eyes wide. Naruto nodded with a smirk.
"So, you have three summoning contracts, the Rinnegan, the Uzumaki manifestation Kekkei, and you're the grandson of the Third Hokage, all while being ANBU level."
"Don't forget his other advantage," Kakashi said somewhat bitterly. Zabuza and Haku had been informed of Naruto's Jinchuuriki status shortly after receiving their ranks, on account of the fact they would likely be running missions with him quite often in the future.
"Gaki, if you ever split off from Konoha, remind me to follow you. It would be suicidal to piss you off." Naruto almost frowned at how close the new Jounin had come to his plans. Almost.
"Everyone, meet Gamakichi- Kichi leave the mints alone- Karimaru, and Hatsu, my three personal summons from the Toads, Crows and Ospreys respectively. Guys, meet everyone." The Genin all gaped at the blond as he leaned back into his bench seat, sligning his arm over the back, that damn smirk still on his face as his purple eyes stared at them. Finally, Hiruzen stood up with a sigh and dejectedly joined the large group at the table.
"Why, Naruto? Why must you do this to me constantly?" he bemoaned of his grandson. Naruto flicked his eyes to the man, his face hardening slightly.
"I know for certain you know the exact reason, Hiruzen. Just be grateful I'm only running up your tab. We both know I could do much worse." Everyone flinched at the steel in his voice, inclusing the waiters as they brought out the platters of food.
Hiruzen appeared to age before their very eyes.
"Yes," he groaned. "I know. I was just hoping you'd have been satisfied by now, is all." Naruto looked at him coldly for a few more moments, before shrugging good-naturedly.
"Maybe a few more times, Jiji. After that, all will be forgiven." Hiruzen sighed dejectedly once more, but acquiesced. He turned to start eating- he was there and paying for it, might as well enjoy some food- only to freeze in abject horror as he beheld the petite, extremely feminine form of Yuki Haku shoveling barbecue down her gullet faster than the entire Akimichi clan combined. Choji was looking on in awe and horror himself. He'd only seen this type of thing when Naruto ate Ramen. As for the blond, he quirked a yellow brow at the young woman's dedication to her Food of the Gods.
"Naruto-nii-san," Karimaru said slowly as he too stared at the spectacle before the group. "Is this normal behavior for humans?" the young Rinnegan wielder reached over and absently covered Hatsu's widening eyes with one hand and Karimaru's with the other.
"No, Maru. No it is not. Believe me when I say this is something I have never personally beheld," everyone glanced at him briefly, exasperation on their faces. "But everyone has one food that they can eat non-stop. Haku-san apparently is addicted to Barbecue, Zabs, is it any kind, or just beef?"
"If it cooks on a slab and it's seasoned with Barbecue salt, she'll down it," Zabuza answered in resignation. He had made the mistake of feeding Haku Barbecue once, and he regretted it. Being a Nuke-nin on a budget did not go well with feeding a million-ryo addiction. "We might want to start eating before it's all gone. Trust me." everyone then realized their predicament, and hunger, and got some meat before it vanished down the chute of the black-haired young jounin female. Naruto made three smaller servings for his summons and then made himself a plate, waiting for everyone else to take a bite first before doing so himself.
Still doing that? You do know even if it was poisoned, I could cycle it out of your system before it could affect you.
Old habits die hard, Kurama. Plus, it's common courtesy. Take someone to lunch, let them take first bite.
But you aren't paying.
I still invited them. Kurama fell silent as everyone continued eating. When the waiter came back and asked if anyone wanted more, Zabuza, Hiruzen, and Jozun all shouted 'no' vehemently before Haku or Choji could say yes. Just as he placed his bowl down, Itachi twitched slightly, catching the attention of Jozun, Sasuke, and Naruto, who knew he never flinched or twitched like that, which could mean only one thing.
"Ita-koi!" the sudden cry alerted everyone a moment before a brown-haired woman in a Chuunin Flak glomped the Stoic man from behind, slamming his face into the table. Jozun was about to laugh, when he too flinched, but much more violently.
"Jozu-kun!" several snakes shot from the sleeves of one Mitarashi Anko from where she stood in the doorway, wrapped around the Jounin, and yanked him into the woman's waiting grasp, which promptly slammed shut on his spine like a vice, expelling the air from his lungs forcefully.
"Hi... Anko.." he wheezed out with what breath he had, his face slowly turning blue.
"Kisa," Itachi said grumpily, his face still pressed to the wood before him. "What have we said about glomping?" Kisa stuck her tongue out at the man and giggled.
"YOU said not to, but I said yes."
"And as everyone knows," Anko said for her brunette companion.
"The women are always right!" They, along with Kurenai all finished chirpily.
"Anko... breathe... need... air..." Jozun managed to say, his face now an alarming shade of puce, causing the purple-haired woman to sigh and release him. He quickly filled his lungs with as much as they could hold, gasping like he'd almost died, Naruto, for his part, turned slowly to his father with a maniacal, teasing grin on his lips and his ringed orbs glinting with unhidden glee.
"So, Tou-chan," Asuma flinched as his mouth fell open in horror, his cigarette falling from his lips. "How long have you and Kurenai-san been together, and why haven't you brought her home?" Every head snapped to the man, and Kurenai- who was bright, cherry red- as she realized she'd given it away by joining the catcall. Konohamaru's eyes widened and his mouth fell open. Hiruzen chuckled mirthfully, glee evident on his face. Ino, Sakura, and Hinata grew cheshire grins, sharing mischievous looks. Kakashi... opened his book.
"I.. we... but... they..." Asuma spluttered incoherently. No-one moved for several moments, then Naruto was suddenly sprinting down the street full tilt, being chased by Asuma, with Hiruzens' bellowing laughter following them.
"GET BACK HERE, SARUTOBI NARUTO!"
"OBA-CHAN!" Naruto hollered at the top of his lungs, trying to get his voice to carry to the Clan compound and be heard by his aunt.
"TOU-CHAN HAS A GIRLFRIEND!"