A/N: Alright, I feel I owe you guys some sort of explanation. I have really bad depression, on top of my other mental health problems, which are far too numerous to list. Normally, I can manage to get through the day and work on my stories a bit, but there's a single day each year I'm certain to be stuck in bed due to lifelessness- August 16th. My birthday has never been a particularly good day of the year for me, even before I became depressed. The reasons are large and numerous, but basically it boils down to every year bad shit happens. I do want to thank you for all your support, though. I appreciate it.
TigrezzTail: Yeah, as much as I like rain, this is a bit much for late summer, huh? My dog though- Christ in a cock ring, that girl loves splashing in the mud. And then trekking it onto my bed.
Icingdeath0945: You beautiful, Drizzt-rip-off bastard. Pop quiz for you, what's the other Scimitar's name and the effects of both?
Darkhuntressxir: Very True.
Alright, let's get into it!
Chapter 37: The Pre-lims
Naruto sighed in exhaustion as he toted an unconscious Sakura and Sasuke on his shoulders into the Tower in the center of the Forest. He was right- it'd had been a long five days in the forest. Almost immediately after Anko and Nagato had left, several Genin teams hoping to take advantage of the blond's obvious tiredness had descended into the crater to confront him for a shot at his Heaven Scroll. Several of the cockier ones, or the ones who hadn't seen his display before the first exam, had bragged that a tired weakling like him was easy pickings. He was hard-pressed to deny that, but even still, he managed to fight them all off. Finally, as dusk had been falling, they'd all retreated to rest, and his teammates had woken up -aboutfuckingtimetoo- and they'd moved into the trees, out of the open.
As soon as they'd made camp, he'd promptly fallen over, snoring loudly. And slept. And slept. And slept some more. When he finally woke up, his chakra back to full, Sasuke informed him he'd slept through three days, meaning they had one day left to get an Earth scroll. He was also informed Sasuke had sent a few teams packing while he was out. They'd started towards the tower, and encountered a team from Ame, who tried fighting them, and summarily lost their scroll, and damn near their sanity as well. Unfortunately though, they'd managed to K.O. The Uchiha and Haruno, forcing the blond to tote their fat asses to the tower. Where he unceremoniously dumped them on their heads, jolting them awake from the impact.
"WHAT THE HELL BAKA?!" Sakura screeched in rage, raising her fist in an attempt to threaten Naruto, who just looked at her.
"Put your fist down," he said coldly, forcing her to remember who she was addressing- the real Naruto, not the one from her dream, whom she could wail on all she wanted and he would still be nice to her(canon)- and she sighed dejectedly. "Well, we made it, and might I add that you need to lay off the baked goods Sasuke," he added with a small glare at his friend, who looked confused.
"Can't you lift Chouza without breaking a sweat?"
"Not when I've spent the past five days in a meat grinder without a proper meal."
"Oh... well uh..."
"Oh for..." Naruto grumbled as he unsealed both Scrolls and flipped them open, overlaying them in front of himself. With a puff of smoke, before them stood Kakashi.
"Yo!"
"Hatake, I swear to Log if you give us the fucking speech instead of just directing us to the Hokage, I will castrate you and force them down your throat." Kakashi paled- well the little bit of face visible did- and pointed to the door to the right of the group.
"Through there, along with the rest of the teams that passed." Naruto just grunted and stalked towards the door, just as Hatsu flew in from outside and landed on the blond's shoulder.
"Sup, bro?"
"I will cook you, I fucking swear I will rip your feathers off and boil you alive with sage and cumin."
"What's with the hostility?"
"Where the fuck have you been for the past five days is with the hostility you feathered shit! I tried summoning you twice! AND YOU DIDN'T FUCKING SHOW UP! So not only did you not do what I asked, you didn't have the decency to dispel and go fucking home in case I needed you again. If it wouldn't royally piss off the Ospreys, I would kill you right now."
Hatsu looked affronted and untucked an Earth scroll from under his wing with his beak, letting it drop to the ground, neither of them caring that they were making a scene in front of the teams who had finished the second exam, as well as everyone else present.
"I GOT YOU A FUCKING SCROLL YOU JACKASS!"
"FAT LOT OF GOOD IT DOES ME NOW YOU BIRD-BRAIN! IF I'D HAD THIS FOUR FUCKING DAYS AGO WE WOULDN'T BE HAVING THIS ARGUMENT!" Just as it seemed Naruto was going to strangle the bird, and and Hatsu was going to start pecking at his eyes and face, Hiruzen coughed audibly.
"Naruto-kun, we really should..."
"SHOVE IT OLD MAN! YOU CAN WAIT A FUCKING SECOND!" Hiruzen grumbled under his breath as literally everyone else present stared at the blond in utter shock.
He just yelled at the HOKAGE, was the general thought process. And didn't get hit or anything! What the fuck?! One particular person had a different thought, however.
Oh man, if he's strong enough to get away with ordering around the Hokage, what'll I do if I have to fight him? What if my sword snaps on his chest, and ricochets back to stab me in the eye? What if... (You know damn well who this is and where it's going, so I'm not going to type the rest out.)
"WELL I COULD FIND YOU FOUR DAYS AGO!"
"YOU'RE A FUCKING BIRD OF PREY! YOU CAN SEE A CRICKET FROM SEVEN HUNDRED FEET AND HEAR A PIN DROP FROM THREE MILES! HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU NOT FIND ME?!" at this, Hatsu shuffled his feet slightly on the blond's shoulder and mumbled under his breath. "That's what I thought you little shit."
"I'm going home..."
"No you aren't," Naruto immediately said. "You are staying with me until the end of the day, and you are going to suffer right with me you little bastard." Hatsu huffed, but remained where he was, no cloud of smoke indicating him heading home. Satisfied that his summon was going to take his punishment, Naruto turned to his grandfather with his arms crossed, waiting for this BS to be over with so he could take a bath and eat something.
"May I speak now?" Hiruzen asked with obvious annoyance. Naruto merely nodded. "Now, since everyone who has passed and is going to pass is here, I think it's time you all learn the true reason for the Chuunin Exams," Hiruzen said as he placed his pipe in his mouth. Naruto immediately tune dhim out, having heard the speech multiple times when he was in ANBU. The old man would drone for thirty minutes about war and peace, and then, given the number of people who'd gotten through, they'd hold Preliminaries to thin them out.
Does that old windbag ever shut up?
You already know the answer to that, Kurama. As much as I love Jiji, he could take a few lessons on how to not give so many lessons from Hatake. Seriously, you'd think Hee'd train his students better so he wouldn't have to bury anyone else.
Meh. The monkey distances himself. I can understand that.
How many of your siblings are here again? Naruto asked with a smug mental grin as Kurama grumbled under his breath, then answered with great reluctance.
Three. Shukaku, Chomei, and Gyuki.
Gaara, that chick Fuu probably, and... Naruto cast a quick glance around, noting the Sensei of the only Kumo team to make it through, who had Bulls' Horns Tattooed on his face, just under his shades. That guy. From what you've told me about Gyuki, He's an Ox-topus. Kurama laughed uproariously at the pun of the combination Gyuki was. So my money is on the guy armed with eight fucking swords and bull horns on his face. Kirabi if I remember right.
You do. He's in the Bingo Book for over seven hundred million. Better focus, the Geezer is wrapping up. Naruto looked forward just as Gekko Hayate stepped forward to explain the Pre-lim rules. He also nodded at Naruto, who nodded back. They had a rivalry in Kenjutsu, with Naruto still trying to master the Uzuryuu. A quick rule rundown, and the names started rolling on the electronic board. Naruto heard his Jiji mutter under his breath to Anko, who was standing next to him.
"Did we work out the bugs from Kushina's prank all that time ago?"
"We aren't sure."
"Shit." Naruto was about to actually ask, before he saw what they meant. Instead of any names on the board, it read:
Ramen Coupons vs Dango Give-away
Naruto, instead of snickering like everyone else, immediately leveled a harsh glare at Anko, who was glaring right back.
"Ramen," he said concisely, quite audibly.
"Dango," she answered fiercely. He started to reach for one of his Katana as she drew a Kunai. Hiruzen sighed. (A/N: The board thing wasn't my idea, but was too great to pass up when I read it, sorry if the person who made it up is reading this) The board began cycling again, oblivious to the glare-down between the two.
With a Blare, the names of the first two contestants appeared.
Uzumaki Naruto VS Korio of Kiri
Once everyone else vacated to the viewing platform, and Hayate and ensured both people were ready, we raised his hand.
"Hajime!"
"Did you seriously defend Ramen?"
"Yes."
"How can you eat that garbage?" Korio said, which was immediately answered with several sharp intakes of breath. Anko was most audible.
"Oh shit..." Korio, an average height male with burnt red hair and wearing clothes that looked more suitable for a Daimyo than a shinobi with a Wakizashi on his hip looked over to the woman.
"What're you cussing about? You obviously hate that disgusting slop at least as much as I do."
"Okay first, No, I don't I do eat it occasionally, so don't assume you know anything about me you brat. And Second, even if it's not my favorite thing in the world, even our stupidest Genin is smart enough not to openly insult Ramen in front of the gaki." she looked up at the stands. "Ain't that right, Kiba?"
"Yeah, hey wait a minute!"
"So what? It's not like he can actually do anything to me," Korio said haughtily. "I'm training to be one of the Seven swordsman of the mist, and I can damn well call garbage what it is, and there's nothing some no-name moron can do about it!" he almost laughed before the temperature in the room dropped drastically in seconds. Anko looked over to Chojuro, the blue-haired kid with a big-ass sword on his back that Naruto vaguely identified as an Active member of the Seven Swordsman.
"I hope you're okay with your trainee ending up in the ground." Chojuro sighed tiredly, but said nothing.
"Jiji," Naruto said in a voice colder than Hyoton. "Where would our newest Jounin be right now?" To Korio's shock and horror, the Hokage spoke up.
"Why, he's one room over. Would you like me to call him in?"
"Please do. Until he gets here, this match is on hold." Korio sputtered indignantly.
"You can't do that!"
"I just did. You want to brag about being a Mist Bladesman in Training? I'll show you how one really operates." within moments of this declaration, the double doors were thrown open and none other than Momochi Zabuza stormed in, his stance rigid and his eyes furious. Chojuro and Korio blanched at the sight of him. Without a word, he marched over, and in one fluid motion, unlatched Kubikiribocho from his back and presented it to the blond, hilt first. Naruto unbuckled his belt, divesting himself of his Katana, and removed both Tanto he still had over each shoulder, before removing his weapons pouch and removed all his hidden weapons, which took a good five minutes. Only then did he reach out and take hold of the Mist blade. He thrusted the sword into the ground before him- a clear challenge.
"Since I'm so nice," he bit out as Zabuza stepped up beside the Hokage holding all of his things. "I'll allow you three free attacks, no dodging, no blocking, no countering. I'd give you more to make it more fair, but not only did you insult my favorite food on the planet, you also Directly insulted my grandfather- the Hokage." Korio blanched, but drew his blade and looked ready to attack. He was terrified, but determined to end it in one swing. He charged with a loud yell and swung his wakizashi full force. Only for it to bounce off Naruto's chest without even cutting into his jacket. "Whoops," the blond said, shrugging off his jacket and shirt and tossing them away, causing several women in the room to swoon at his musculature.
"That's one," he warned. Korio paled even more and swung twice in quick succession, as fast and hard as he could- and he barely scratched Naruto's skin, thin lines of blood appearing on his stomach before quickly sealing over. "and there's three. Now, let me show you what an Uzumaki Swordsman can do." He spat, his eyes snapping open in rage. More gasps as he confirmed some fears.
"He's fucked," Said Chojuro's sensei, gaining a look from the blue-haired teen.
"W-what d-do you m-mean?"
"The Uzumaki created the Mist blades, Chojuro. And an Uzumaki Swordsman? There's a reason people were scared of the Uzumaki, and their Fuinjutsu was only part of it."
Down on the floor, Naruto ripped the Kubikiribocho from the ground and began spinning it around by the handle, confusing a lot of people. Korio had a sudden look of relief.
"You don't even know how to wield it!" He laughed. Then he noticed Zabuza backing up, fear and awe on his face.
"No way..." Korio snapped his eyes back to the blond, just in time to see him snap a hand from the handle to the hole in the center, then begin spinning it like a Fuma Shuriken.
"Let me show you how Headcleaver was meant to be used," Naruto said in a voice so cold it sent chills up Hiruzen's spine. "Only the Uzumaki can wield this blade to it's fullest, as with any Mist Blade." Korio began sweating, and in an admittedly hasty and half-cocked attempt out of desperation, he charged at the Blond. He began hacking furiously, but was met with the clang of metal on metal every time. Naruto was twirling the massive blade around his body, from hand to hand, in circles as though it weighed nothing. Every chance Korio thought he saw was filled the next instant with whirling steel. Finally, he had enough. He channeled Chakra through his blade and swung with a scream. A loud slicing sound, and suddenly, Naruto stopped moving while Zabuza growled. That idiot had cut off a few inches of the sword!
"Congrtulations," Naruto intoned. "You just put me on the offensive AND pissed off Kubikiribocho."
"It's a sword! It doesn't have feelings!"
"And that's why you'll never be a true swordsman," Naruto said. "Every sword has a soul, every blade has a story. All you have to do is listen. Plus, have you ever SEEN Samehada? I dare you to say that sword doesn't have sentience." Before Korio could say anything, he felt white-hot pain across his chest as red sprayed in front of his eyes. He looked down in horror to see a long gash opening from his right shoulder to his left hip. Then, he looked at his foe, and flinched as he saw the chunk he'd managed to slice off the sword regrowing.
"That is the ability of the Executioner's Blade. It can't be broken, because as soon as it sees battle, it reforges itself from the blood of it's enemies." Naruto fell silent once more as he began twirling the blade again, except this time, instead of in circles around his body, it was in a figure-eight, his hand alternating between the hole in the center and the hilt.
"Uzumaki Executioner's Art: Maelstrom Havoc!" in mere moments, everyone below Jounin saw only blood, before Korio fell limp, and Naruto appeared behind him, holding the massive blade in a position that indicated he'd just made a horizontal slice.
What everyone above Jounin saw was horrific beyond explanation. In the span of seconds, Naruto had flashed around the boy before him, moving past the sound barrier in the process, and had used Kubikiribocho to cut every single tendon, muscle, and joint in his body, while also slicing open a few blood vessels. Naruto stood straight and slammed his blade into the ground just as blood began spraying from Korio in waves. They all knew the boy wouldn't make it. The first round of the preliminaries and they already had a death, not counting the several in the Forest. Good thing the moron had signed the waiver. After taking a few deep breaths, Naruto pulled Kubikiribocho from the ground and started walking towards Zabuza. He held the blade to it's owner hilt-first, but Zabuza shook his head.
"Keep it Gaki. You obviously know how to use it better than me. Besides, you even said only an Uzumaki can use it properly." Zbuza fell to one knee, shocking most everyone. "I, Momochi Zabuza, return Kubikiribocho unto the Clan of Uzumaki, and pledge my life unto it's leader. Wherever may he go, my mist will follow." everyone was agape at the public display of fealty and service. Naruto planted Kubikiribocho in front of the man.
"As Uzumaki Clan leader, by right of birth and deed, I, Uzumaki Naruto, accept your oath of service. As you have pledged to me, so I shall return. Vassal of the tides, have you need of our might, you have but to ask. Now rise, and remain watchful for the storm." Zabuza rose from his prone position and stood at rigid attention, awaiting orders.
"For now, remain on guard and serve the Hokage."
"Hai."
"And give me back my shit." Zabuza chuckled as he handed Naruto all his weapons. Naruto returned them to their positions quickly, then lifted his new sword and moved to the viewing platform for the next match. He was given a wide berth by everyone except one red-head with glasses. "Can I help you?"
"I am Uzumaki Karin, and I demand to know by what birth and what deed you claim Clan Head status." They were speaking fairly quietly, so as to avoid drawing attention to their Clan dispute.
"I claim right of birth as I am the biological grandson of the Last Clan head before the fall. Our cousin Nagato can attest to this, as he holds the Uzu Tree, being our new historian and Guard Master. I claim right of deed for my efforts in service to the Leaf, the least among them being the defeat of an S-Classed criminal." Karin looked utterly shell-shocked. She nearly jumped out of her skin when a new voice, a deep baritone, sounded from the shadows nearby.
"Naruto-sama, I recognize the name she claims. It is in the Family scroll, several branches from our own, and is the last of it's line. Should she be true, she has the bite-heal as opposed to the Creation Kekkei of the Main Branch."
"Good, we can test it out now. I'm fucking exhausted." Karin turned bright red and began sputtering indignantly. "Look, either you let me bite you to verify you are who you say you are, or Nagato and I kill you where you stand for falsely claiming our Clan name." She turned even brighter red, her face almost matching he hair, but she held out her arm, her purple sleeve covering it to the wrist. Naruto rolled up the sleeve and quickly, before anyone noticed or said anything, clamped down on her arm right below the elbow. He immediately felt soothing Chakra enter his body and begin replenishing his own, as well as healing a few injuries he had. He was about to let go, when the foulest Chakra he'd ever felt flowed through his tongue and into his body, only to be rejected by Kurama's own. He let go with a hiss of anger. He was about to say something, when he saw that her name was up on the board.
Karin of Kusa VS Haruno Sakura
"After your match, we will have words, Uzumaki Karin." She nodded fearfully and sprinted down to the floor, rolling down her sleeve as she went.
"So she spoke true," Nagato noted, his arms crossed and never leaving the shadows. With an Ame team having made it to the Prelims, he didn't want to run the slim risk of being recognized, even though they'd never seen him. His eyes would give it away. Naruto, meanwhile, was seething in rage. But he remained silent as he watched Sakura and Karin begin.
With the girls
"What were you doing with Naruto-baka?"
"None of your business, Pinky."
"He's MY teammate."
"Like I said, it's none of your business." Sakura growled in rage at the dismissal and sprinted at the arrogant girl, her fist cocked back to slug her.
With Naruto, Nagato, and now Sasuke and Shikamaru
"Karin will win," Naruto said in a bored tone, getting a raised eyebrow from his cousin.
"Shouldn't you have more faith in your teammate?"
"She's a fangirl," he ground out, irritated he hadn't been able to beat it out of her yet. "She's smart, but she's weak. She only just began to train seriously, and only because I threatened to force Sasuke to date Yamanaka Ino, the blond over there," he said with a wave at said girl.
"Hey, at least Ino chilled out," Shikamaru yawned.
"That, plus her taking training seriously since Academy, and honestly, I wouldn't mind dating her," Sasuke noted.
"On top of Haruno's fangirl tendencies, Karin is extremely flexible, and has a wider range of attacks."
"How can you tell?" Shikamaru asked.
"She has a Suiton Chakra Nature," Naruto informed him, gaining three looks of confusion. "I'm a sensory type, guys. I can tell a persons' Chakra Nature within a few moments of meeting them, just by their body types and the feel of their Chakra."
"Prove it," Shikamaru challenged. Naruto pointed at him without looking. "I'm pointing at your center of balance. You have a Katon Nature by birth, but specialize in Yin Release because of your clan Jutsu. Fire nature are characterized by thin, nimble bodies that can bend like a flame to reach their target." He pointed at Sasuke.
"Raiton Nature. Raiton users are lithe and agile, born with superior speed to most other Nature types." he pointed at Asuma down the walkway. "Born with a Fuuton nature and trained a Katon nature. Fuuton users are unusually nimble and light on their feet, as evidenced by their extreme natural speed and above-average endurance. They're the only chakra Nature born faster than Raiton."
"Okay, okay, I get it." Shika grumbled. Naruto focused on the match.
Back on the floor
So far, all that had happened was Sakura throwing punches, and Karin dodging them, then punishing the sloppy attacks with kicks to the stomach.
"Is this seriously the best you've got?"
"Shut up!"
"I'm wondering how you're on the same team as Naruto, considering you're so weak."
"SHANNANARO!" Sakura screamed as she buried her fist into the ground where Karin had been standing. The entire tower shook, but Karin looked unimpressed. She sprinted forward and leapt, turning in mid-air to deliver a flying kick to Sakura's chest, launching her back and slamming her head into the wall, knocking her out.
"Winner, Karin of Kusa!" Hayate called, raising a hand to the red-head. She nodded and returned to the other two Uzumaki, albeit timidly.
"Where'd he put it?" Naruto hissed as he gripped Karin's bicep, pulling her closer. She went pale, but did a very good impression of looking confused.
"What are you..."
"Stow it. I can sense that bastards foul Chakra somewhere on your body, so where did he put it?"
"Naruto-sama, what are you talking about?"
"Remember our discussion the day we met?" Nagato nodded as realization dawned slowly on his face. "I think we just found one of 'em."
"And Sasori couldn't locate her..."
"So she was hidden in one of his bases, exactly." Naruto rounded on the teen again, his glare harsh. "I'll ask one more time, Karin. If you refuse I will detain you and do a full body search for it, your feelings and modesty be damned. Now where. is. The. Seal." Karin looked down, tears forming in her eyes, and she rolled her shorts' waistband down a bit, along with the elastic of her underwear, which Naruto idly noted was purple and lacy, to reveal one of Orochimaru's Curse Marks on her hip, just slightly to the left of her stomach. Nagato recoiled in disgust as Naruto stepped closer and crouched down to get a better look. Karin turned beet red, but he ignored her reaction.
"How long have you had it?" he asked as he probed the skin around it with his finger. She squirmed, still blushing.
"A year and a half."
"I'm guessing this is the Cursed Seal of Fire?" he looked up to see her nodding hesitantly. "Alright, after the Prelims, I'll be able to remove it." her eyes widened and her jaw fell slack. "What? I am an Uzumaki, Karin."
"For now we should focus on the matches," Nagato cut in. "We've already missed three."
"What were the results?"
"Well after the board red 'Flames of Youth VS Fire Extinguisher of Depression' your pineapple-haired friend defeated the Oto Kunoichi by connecting his shadow to a wire connected to a senbon, and made her bash her head into the wall. The Suna Kunoichi defeated the bun-haired girl with Fuuton Jutsu and nearly broke her spine, and your big friend lost to the Oto mummy due to the device on his left arm. (A/N: Canon fights, I just jumbled them together because I'm a lazy bum)"
"Figures Gaara's sister would be ruthless," he turned to Karin. "Stay close by. You'r eon probation until I'm sure I can trust you." she nodded demurely and folded her hands together. He looked at the display board once more, and burst into laughter.
Clucky the chicken VS the Log
Naruto was laughing so hard, he fell over, clutching his stomach and his abdominal muscles spasmed in his mirth. Asuma ended up walking over and nudging him with his foot. When Naruto finally calmed down enough to talk, he asked what the deal was as he wiped tears away from his face.
"Kushina-san once got into an argument with Uchiha Fugaku, Sasuke's father, over which would be more useful for substitution- a chicken or a log. It became a running joke for everyone present at the time."
"You appear to be quite young," Nagato suddenly said from his position in the corner, his head still in darkness. Asuma went rigid.
"Yeah, I'm only twenty-seven."
"How old was Naruto-sama when you adopted him?" Asuma bristled and glared at the mystery man.
"Naru was four."
"So, an eighteen year old adopted a four year old? Out of what? Some misplaced sense of pity? Or was it an act of charity on a hapless street urchin?"
"I adopted him," Asuma ground out, his fingers itching to reach for his trench knives. "Because he was alone, and so was I. I saw a little boy who needed a family. One that I could provide." Nagato hummed in thought.
"I meant no disrespect, Sarutobi-sama. I was merely curious as to how the son of the Sandaime Hokage came about to be a father at so tender an age."
"You sound pretty young yourself."
"I'm thirty-five."
"Bullshit! You cannot be the same age as the Yondaime would be were he around today!"
"Why not?"
"You seem too young!"
"Thank my Uzumaki genes. We age slower and live longer." Asuma grumbled under his breath.
"Winner, Aburame Shino!" the two looked down to see Shino adjusting his glasses and walking away from a beat-up looking Kusa Genin.
"What happened?" Asuma asked Naruto.
"Shino landed his Kikaichu on the guy, he went down, Shino punched him once."
"Rajin has pathetically small reserves," Karin commented. Naruto shot her a sideways look. "What? Mine are decent enough, plus I'm more built for Medical Ninjutsu than combat." Naruto conceded the point with a nod.
Uchiha Sasuke VS Zaku of Oto
"Uchiha Sasuke?"
"Yep."
"The Uchiha heir?"
"Yes."
"As in the one most likely to be targeted for his Sharingan?"
"Yes Karin. I am well aware of Orochimaru's interest in my friend." Karin nodded uncertainly. "Hey Sasuke!" the Uchiha looked up at the call from the blond. "Don't use Katon!"
"Why not?"
"From the looks of the tubes in his arms, he uses modified artificial Fuuton. Consider it a challenge. Beat him with only Raiton, and I'll teach you Burning Ash."
"Sure, just give away our clan secrets why don't you?" Asuma groused. Naruto grinned at him sideways.
"He won't be able to do it."
"Wait, what?"
"The guy looks perfectly healthy. Sasuke will be forced to use taijutsu and probably some Katon if he wants to pull out a win."
"You're very manipulative," Karin noted with unease. Naruto shrugged.
"Shinobi."
"You done getting a pep-talk?" Zaku sneered. "Cause I wanna get this over with Zakkuhana!"
"Raiton: Electromagnetic Murder!"
The twin blasts of pressurized air met a bolt of arcing lightning, and they managed to cancel each other out.
"Ah hell," Sasuke cursed. "Naruto I hate you!"
"Join the club!" came several cries from everywhere. With that, Sasuke vanished in a blur of speed and appeared right in front of the Oto-nin, kicking him into the air. Lee recognized it as the Dancing Leaf Shadow he'd used on the Uchiha a few days before the Exams.
"Raiton: Pulse wave!" Sasuke planted his hand right into Zaku's spine and sent out the Jutsu, essentially frying his nervous system, then Sasuke spun around and delivered an ax kick to Zaku's midsection, forcibly expelling air from his lungs. Sasuke spun several more times, landing more kicks on Zaku as he hammered him into the ground.
"Shishi Rendan!"
"Told you," Naruto said smugly. Asuma just sighed. As Sasuke flipped away, Zaku struggled to his feet.
"That... all... you got?" he panted as he lifted on arm tiredly. Next thing he knew, he was screaming in pain as Sasuke snapped his arm at the elbow.
"Winner, Sasuke!" Hayate called.
"Hey, that reminds me," Sasuke said with a frown. "Why are you a proctor? Don't you have a Genin team?"
"I didn't nominate them, they weren't ready," Hayate coughed.
"Ami?"
"Ami."
"I'll say a prayer for ya," Sasuke declared solemnly as he waved over his shoulder while walking away. The rest of the matches went by in a blur for Naruto, but he made vague notes about the winners.
Fuu the Jinchuuriki beat Ino soundly.
Chojuro the swordsman barely pulled out a win against one of the Iwa Genin.
A random Ame-nin beat the other Iwa Genin.
Kurotsuchi beat Kankuro.
Both of Fuu's teammates were eliminated in a double knockout cause they were idiots.
Neji beat Kiba.
Lee beat one of the other Ame Genin.
Omoi beat the last.
Samui thrashed the last Kusa-nin when he leered at her in the wrong way.
Hinata and Karui's match was interesting if for no other reason than the red-headed Kumo Kunoichi proved almost as flexible as the Hyuuga heiress. She still lost, but hey, not bad.
And Gaara squished Chojuro's last teammate like a grape.
"Didn't that Kabuto guy say something about going to the finals just to fight you?" Sasuke queried.
"Kabuto?" Hatsu spoke up, reminding everyone he was there.
"Kinda tall, silver hair, round glasses."
"Oh, him. Yeah, I stole his Earth Scroll, so he couldn't get in."
"Okay, forget what I said earlier. I fucking love you, Hatsu." the bird puffed his chest out at the praise from his summoner.
"It seems we have an unusually high amount of contestants this year," Hiruzen said loudly.
"Sixteen in total, sir," Ank counted out.
"Well, eight fights isn't too bad, but still, it could be shortened."
"Maa, maa, I'm sure we can accommodate by starting ealier," Kakshi waved his hand lazily. Hiruzen sighed.
"I was hoping to avoid that, but you're right. Will the winners please come forward?" Two rows of eight formed before the Hokage. "Since there are so many of you, we must change the selection process a bit. Anko has here a box with slips of paper numbered one through eight. Each row will come forward and pull randomly to determine the order of your fights." Anko stepped to the first row and held her box out to Naruto, him being the first in line.
"Say your number as you draw it, so Ibiki can draw up the chart," Anko ordered.
"Four," Naruto read.
Karin got eight.
Fuu got one.
Hinata got three.
Lee pulled five.
Gaara, seven.
Sasuke, two.
Shikamaru yawned and flipped his paper around, showing the number six. After they'd all returned the slips tot he box, the next row went. After they were done ad Ibiki finished writing, he flipped the clipboard he was holding to show the match-ups.
Fuu VS Chojuro
Sasuke VS Samui
Hinata VS Neji
Naruto VS Kurotsuchi
Lee VS Saku (the Ame-nin)
Shikamaru VS Temari
Gaara VS Dosu
Karin VS Omoi
"You know your opponents, and you have a month to prepare. Good luck to you all," Hiruzen said as he released a puff of smoke through his nostrils.
The Prelims were over.
Hell was going to break loose.
A/N: Yeah, I know, I know. Not only did I skip most of the fights, but I made too many go through to the finals. Plus, I did the whole 'Neji VS Hinata' bit. I was trying to keep this chapter from getting too long, though. So, let the bitching begin.