When I woke up it was nearly dark outside…

I must have fainted again. I still felt incredibly weak, even more so than I did after drinking those horrid blood bags. My body felt strange. I stretched my arms and immediately knew something was very wrong. I shifted upright in the bed I was in and frantically searched my surroundings.

Everything was too dark. I couldn't see a thing… This isn't right.

My senses felt muted, I couldn't see though this darkness, or hear anything besides the faint creeks of the house settling, and I couldn't smell anything pass the think scent of candle wax. Where was I?

I carefully swung my legs over the edge of the bed and lightly touched my feet to the warm wood floor. I needed to figure out what was going on. I gently pushed myself up from the bed… I felt taller.

This is getting weird.

I gently pad over to the window to get a better sense of where I could possibly be this time. The window looks rather old and a layer of grim blocks the view. I reach out to attempt to buff the dirt away and have minimal success, it's really caked on there. I manage to rub away a spot large enough for me to look though.

I wasn't in Forks anymore.

Stretching out before me was the vast city of London. But it wasn't the beautiful modern city I had visited once with my family, it was the London from my old story books. Old cobble roads, horses and wooden carts, I could see a small stand just there selling bread on the street. The street was lined with oil lamps that hardly gave any light.

I felt a sudden unease in my stomach. Unexpectedly I felt the tug in my subconscious that suggested that this may not be my mind or body. As if to confirm I felt the ropes tighten their hold on me. I tried to retract myself but I couldn't. I was stuck. Much like the incident with Jasper I was being held captive by this persons mind. It was as if it wanted me to see what happened here. What is going on?

My head whips around without my permission just as a young girl enters the room through the large door I had somehow not noticed.

Her eyes strain to see as the last bits of sun escape the room. She had familiar blond hair and bright blue eyes, much like mine, she couldn't have been more than my age. The girl was carrying an oil lamp herself and as she entered she lit the one sitting on a table in the corner. When she spots me by the window her eyes widen.

"What are you still doing up here?" She hissed. "Your men are outside, father's going to be furious."

Father? Who was this girl?

"Lucy, please. Father knows I detest these hunts, I'd probably give him a heart attack if I were proper and ready for this." That voice…. "Besides," he stifles a cough. "I'm sick."

"Give over." Lucy complains. "You know how he gets about-"

Just then the door reopens and an older gentleman strides in. He combs the room with an icy stare before settling on me and glaring. He didn't look pleased.

"What are you doing still up here Carlisle?" The old man scolds. "The hunting party is about to leave and I'll be damned if my own son isn't down there to lead them."

Carlisle?! And he was human!

"Yes father, of course." Carlisle signs. "Forgive me, I must have dozed off."

"I see." The man frowns then glances down at Lucy and returns his glare to me. "Now put a shirt on. Don't prance about your sister when you're hardly clothed."

Carlisle never mentioned a sister.

A deep blush meets Lucy's face and I can feel the warmth of Carlisle's reddening cheeks as well. Carlisle's arms quickly reach to grab the shirt handing on the hook just by him and throws it on.

"I'm up now, don't fret, I'll be joining the other men momentarily. Just need a moment to collect myself." Carlisle mutters.

"See that you do, I can't have you making a mockery of things." He scolds. "Come along Lucy."

"Yes father right away." They both say in unison.

The older man quickly left then with Lucy on his heels and I was left with more questions than answers. That girl. Never before have I heard or seen a lick of that girl. It's like she's appeared out of thin air. Or maybe Carlisle just couldn't remember her. A repressed memory… I wonder.

"Carlisle!"

Again this body moved without my permission and it was clear now that I was in the passenger seat for this show. Carlisle flung open the window and peered down.

There was a small gathering of young men all holding various weapons and torches… a mob?

"There 'e is!" someone called from the crowd. "Carlisle, old chap, did we wake ya'?" The crowd laughs.

"I'll be right down Johnathan, don't get ya'self all twisted." Carlisle called back.

Carlisle quickly turns from the window and breezes over to the closet. He throws on the first things his hands touch and shoved his feet into the boots that leaned against the bed post.

The memory suddenly flashes forward then.

The streets are poorly lit and every now and then Carlisle stumbles in the darkness. We seem to be with the gathering of men now. Carlisle glances behind him and holds up a hand, a signal to stop. Johnathan turns around to face all of us then.

"Carlisle says their nest is just up ahead." He points down another dark street. "He and I will open the cover. Be on your heels for whatever rushes out."

I had the vague sense that this memory was about to turn into a nightmare.

Carlisle and Johnathan began to carefully make their way towards a large manhole in the middle of a small intersection. There was nearly no light and nowhere to hide if this all went south. All Carlisle had was a sharp metal object, almost like a sword. This was insanity. They were going to get themselves killed.

Carlisle glanced up at John, who nodded. They both swiftly jammed their weapons into the edges of the manhole and heaved. With a loud clank the metal cover flipped over onto the street. Everything was silent then.

Carlisle looked up at the small gathering of men, nearly boys, all with various makeshift weapons and torches. A good old classic monster mob. But one figure stood out. A much smaller one with a hood up to cover its face. A large burly looking fellow sneezes then, bumping into the nearly hidden figure. A single blonde curly unravels from the hood and the girl quickly shoves it back into place.

"Oh bloody hell." Carlisle curses under his breath. "Johnathan, excuse me for a moment." Carlisle mutters before darting back towards the rest of the mob, leaving John to hold the cover alone.

The mob parts like a sea as Carlisle matches towards that small clocked girl. When he reaches her, his stride doesn't break, he snatches up her arm and yanks her around a corner.

"Lucy, what in God's name do you think you're doing here?" Carlisle whispers furiously.

The hooded figure sighs and the hood falls back. Lucy looks up at him with her large blue eyes and a slight pout.

"This isn't a game Lucy!" Carlisle scolds a bit louder. "It's dangerous here, you must go back!"

"Oh but Carlisle, I wanted to see the beast myself." She defends. "You hear father speak about how dreadful they are, I want to prove him wrong."

There's silence for a moment.

"Um, excuse me. Carlisle, sir?"

Lucy and Carlisle both turn around then. A few boys from the crowd had come to see what the commotion was. Carlisle straightened up and put a firm hand on Lucy's shoulder. Carlisle is quiet for a moment more.

"You, come here." Carlisle beckoned the first boy closer. "Do you remember how to return to my house?" The boy nodded. "Take her back and don't stop for anything, understand?"

The boy nods again and came forward to take Lucy's arm from Carlisle hold.

"Lucy, I understand you want to see the good in this but there just isn't-"

Just as Carlisle was about to finish her sentence a horrible scream filled the air. Carlisle was fast to sprint back around the corner to see one of that something had emerged and was currently tearing into some unfortunate soul.

"Get her out of here!" Carlisle roars and Lucy and the boy begin to run away.

Carlisle is clearly faster than the other men and he quickly maneuvers up to the beast and strikes it away from the boy. It didn't cause any harm of course but it was enough to distract it long enough for the surrounding men to trap it with their torches. Just as the first demon goes up in flames another scream echoes.

"It's got Johnathan!" Someone shouts.

We look up just in time to see another monster from the drain making its way off with Johnathan thrown over its shoulder.

Carlisle waste no time in sprinting after the two. Under normal circumstances a vampire could easily outrun a human, but this one seemed weak. He was slow, and clumsy, it probably hadn't fed in months.

The chase lasted for a more minutes and by now all the other men had fallen hopelessly behind. The vampire turned another blind corner, Carlisle followed but suddenly the street curved down and we were looking up at the dark night sky. Pain shot through his back where he struck the stone street.

The vampire we had been chasing appeared to loom over us. I've never seen a vampire like this. Its skin looked like paper and its eyes were clouded over, almost like it was blind. It looked absolutely ancient

It swiftly leaned down and picked Carlisle up by the shirt front. From here I could see that Johnathan was long dead and this chase was just to bait Carlisle away from the others. Carlisle's eyes begin to trail down, getting a good look at his impending death.

The vampire wasn't exactly the biggest person, in fact it was clear that under the tattered cloak it wore it was quite thin. But something else stood out to Carlisle. From the angle the monster was holding him up he could clearly see full breast straining against the fabric of its undergarments.

"You're a woman!" He gasp.

The vampire smirked up at him. Carlisle struggled for a moment but the she just laughed. I could hear the rest of the mob catching up and I could feel the small smile of hope spread on Carlisle's face. But that smile quickly turned into a mask of agony as the vampire plunged its teeth into Carlisle's shoulder.

If it wasn't before it was clear that this vampire hadn't feed in ages. Her teeth felt raged and her head jerked in an attempt to coax more blood from the wound. Carlisle's wail alerted the mob to their location and within moments they appeared around the corner, armed and ready.

The vampire released Carlisle and hissed. When the mob continued to barrel down on us, Carlisle was quickly discarded in the gutter while the vampire made her escape. The men didn't even spare a glance as they all rushed pasted the presumably dead Carlisle Cullen laying in the street.

Then the burning started.

The memory flashes forward.

Carlisle is dragging himself down the street. I can hear the mob frantic shouts as they look for him. Somewhere in my head I understand that if they find Carlisle, they'll kill him. He's been bitten after all. He's a monster already in their eyes.

The burning becomes more intense just as I spot the perfect place for Carlisle to stash away. We're so close. But Carlisle has lost a lot of blood. He can't make it.

A small pair of black boots appear in front of me then. Carlisle strains to look up. Bright blue eyes and blonde hair frown down at us.

"Lucy…"

The memory blacks out and jumps forward again.

We're in a storage room now. From what I can gather in between a crate and a sack of budding potatoes on a damp and grimy stone floor.

The burning still rages on and Carlisle back arches to let out a scream.

Before it has time to sound a cold cloth is pressed to my head and a hand quickly shushes it.

"Carlisle, you must be quiet here." Lucy frantically scolds. "They're still looking for you. Please stay still."

Lucy must've dragged Carlisle down here. The mob was still out looking. I wouldn't blame them, both the pastors children go missing in one night, no bodies found. It was bound to cause a commotion. And yet I knew that Carlisle and Lucy's father wasn't searching for his children. He was hunting for the monster's he now believed them to be.

Lucy continued to hush and sooth Carlisle as the burning continued.

When the memory flashes forward this time, we're in a forest.

Its day time and I can feel the cool grass and moss of the forest floor brushing my skin. The burning is still present but I can feel the familiar reseeding flow as it slowly centers in the heart.

So this is how Carlisle was turned. A martyr and a monster. I wonder what the men from the mod think of him now. I wonder why Carlisle has never told us this story full. Never mentioned he has a sister. Carlisle's been keeping secrets from us. How interesting. I wonder what else he's been hiding.

The white hot poison that's been spreading through Carlisle's body has finally found its home in his heart. I can feel the slight pain as Carlisle completes his transition. Suddenly the ropes that have been holding me captive in these memories tighten tremendously, threatening to tear my mind in two.

A shrill scream captures the forest and I couldn't tell if it was me or Carlisle who let out the wail.

"Carlisle!" An almost gruff voice calls. Human. Lucy!

Carlisle's eye snap open and he springs to his feet much faster then I know he intended. He wasn't used to this yet. His eye darted about, trying to take everything in at once. Everything was much clearer now. Like everything before was seen through dirty glasses. The details of the memory were now 100%. All his senses returned to normal.

But that's when he heard it. A heartbeat. And I could feel that hearing it was the most delicious and enticing thing Carlisle had ever heard.

"Carlisle, are you well now?" Lucy asked.

Carlisle spun around. I could hear her… but where was she?

"Up here silly!" And Carlisle's gaze snapped up to the tree. "I didn't know quite what to expect so I climbed this tree." She explained. "How do you feel?"

Carlisle quickly suppressed the urge that swept through him, telling him to climb that tree and take Lucy. Luckily for her the wind was blowing her scent away from him. He coughed a bit to fight the intense burn in his throat that was trying to conquer his slipping control.

"Still 'sick'?" Lucy teased.

A smile reached Carlisle's face. Trust Carlisle to always find a smile, even when he was trying not to kill someone.

"I feel rather grand to tell the truth." He says.

He seems a tad shocked to hear his voice.

"Have I always sounded like this?" He questions.

Lucy shrugs.

"A lot about you has changed Carlisle. I would've been surprised if your voice didn't as well."

"Changed?" You can hear the defeat in his voice. This was the last thing he ever wanted to happen.

Lucy makes a sad sound then.

"Aye. You're one of them now." She says. "The one you chased, the one that killed Johnathan, it bit you." She informed him. "I found you crawling away in the gutters Carlisle. Then men were looking for you. They were going to burn your body like they did Johnathan's and that other boys. I tried to save you, please know I did. You were in so much pain. Three days it's been. Then last night I brought you out here. You stopped moving for a while, I thought you were gone. I couldn't stand to see them burn you like you were one of those monsters. I couldn't-"

"Lucy!" Carlisle interrupted. "Thank you." He said, then paused. "But you shouldn't have come back for me. You should've gone back to father like I told you to. You should've let them burn me. It would've been the right thing to do."

Lucy looked hurt by this. After all she did to save her brother and he wasn't even grateful. She shook her blond head stubbornly and began to climb down the tree.

"You and father, both the same. Just refuse to see even an ounce of good in those creatures! I mean God put them here didn't he?! So why is it that-"A small cry sounded as she hoped from the last branch.

"Are you injured?" Carlisle quickly asked and took a step towards her.

She waved him off and took a step back away from him. Her hand went to cover her mouth and a look of horror and sadness took over her features.

"Your eyes!" she gasped. "They're like embers."

And I knew she was looking into the bright red eyes of a newborn vampire. She was hypnotized by them. I could feel Carlisle fear and confusion at her comment. He hadn't seen himself yet.

"Lucy, what are you saying?" Carlisle had to raise his voice as a particularly strong wind blew through the forest. I was once again grateful Lucy stood downwind.

She took a step closer to him then. Startled by her advance Carlisle took a step back, but Lucy didn't hesitate to follow.

"Stay back." He warned.

Poor Carlisle back himself right up against a tree and pressed himself into it, he didn't want Lucy to touch him. Yet against Carlisle's wishes Lucy's small reached up to take her brother's hands in hers. Her flesh felt like fire against his cold skin. He was fighting very hard not to notice the soft pulse pattering at his cheek, or the light blush that Lucy always had, or the ever sounding drum of her heart. So close.

"See, you're not a monster." She said. "You're my brother Carlisle, whom I love very much."

The forest grew very quiet then. The trees stopped rustling and the young thin trees which had been swaying in the breeze stilled. The wind had stopped.

A think sweet smell began to slowly waft towards the newborn and engulf him in its grasp. It made his stomach twist with need and a bitter liquid to pool in his mouth. The flames he had been swallowing down since he woke moments ago suddenly became unbearable.

Carlisle fell to his knees and clutched his throat. He let out a low cry of pain and groaned as he tried to hold himself together.

"Carlisle!"

Lucy quickly bent over him to try and help. She reached out her hand for Carlisle to take and when he looked up at it he understood why his sister had winced like she did when climbing from the tree. Lucy was bleeding.

No.

Carlisle lunged at her. He swept her up by her neck and pinned her back to the tree he'd just been leaning on. She cried out in pain as her back struck the bark, but it was hardly audible as her brother's hand tightened its hold around her throat. Carlisle's vison started to haze over in red and his hungry growl echoed through the trees.

Carlisle's hold quickly shifted as he pinned Lucy to the tree with his body and moved her head, just a tad too far, to expose her neck.

Something in me told me that Carlisle would stop here. That this was a lesson to show his never failing control over his blood lust. That the memory would end and Carlisle would make me realize that I had made him do something he never wanted to do. Take an innocent life and drink human blood without purpose. Perfect Carlisle Cullen, a model of self-control since 1663. But I was horribly wrong.

His teeth hit bone and Lucy's blood gushed out in a wonderful burst of red. Her screams did nothing but excite him more. He moaned, pushing her further into the tree, threatening to uproot it. He jerked his head, imitating the vampire who'd tried to kill him, trying to make the blood flow faster.

Being a newborn myself I was just as excited to taste the sweet tang of human blood. For Carlisle, it being his first time, it was even sweeter. I could feel him shudder in pleasure and hold his victim just a little tighter.

Carlisle wasn't exactly being gentle. Blood had already seeped down the front of his shirt. He was gripping her so tight, I cringed when another one of Lucy's ribs cracked from the force. After a moment Carlisle finally got the hang of it and he drew from the wound in rhythmic pulls.

He was so distracted in his bloodlust he didn't notice when Lucy stopped clawing at his back. Nor when she muttered "I'm sorry". Or when her eyes slid shut. But he did notice when her heart stopped beating. And the blood stopped flowing.

Carlisle pulled away, hardly satisfied at how little blood his sister seemed to have possessed. He let her body crumbled to the floor and he wiped the blood from his face, greedily licking it from his hands, determined not to waste any.

Then the red faded from his vision and the wind picked back up, effectively clearing his head of the smell of blood. Then everything caught up to him. He just killed his sister.

"Lucy?" He calls, praying she's somehow just asleep.

He crouches down and lifts up her broken body.

"Lucy?" He shakes her a bit, refusing to believe she's really dead.

"Lucy!" He cries.

His knees give out and he clutches her still form to his chest. A sod rips from him, but no tears ever fell. He staid like this for hours. It wasn't till the sun officially set that he realized he should leave. But what to do with her body?

"I will not bury her out in these woods like some animal." He hisses when the thought crosses his mind. "I'll take her to the church. Return her to where she belongs. Father will ensure she has a proper ceremony." He muttered.

Then without further thought he was off. Running back towards the city of London. It was late into the night and not a soul lingered on the streets. The thought of their being more humans out didn't even cross his mind. Nor did he think not to sprint at his full capability cradling a dead body, should someone might see him. He was being careless.

After a few more turns the large bell tower of the church loomed over us. Carlisle hesitated before opening the door. Could demons like him enter on holy ground? It was almost comical experiencing him test the threshold of the church, as if he's burst into flames!

Once he figured it safe, he carefully walked up to the altar and placed Lucy on it. He attempted to smooth out her dress, however, when he reached to touch her he felt one of the ribs he broke straining against her skin. Maybe it was best if he let her be.

Carlisle stepped down and looked back at his sister. As if by habit he knelt down in the first pew and started to pray. What a sight he must have been. A freshly turned vampire praying in a church, red eyes, blood stained clothes, and a dead body on the altar.

"Oh God, forgive me for I have sinned." Carlisle mutters. "I have taken a life too soon from this world. Please let her passage to heaven be swift and merciful."

"Carlisle?"

Carlisle quickly jumped out of the pew and faced his father. He was at a loss of words. What could he say?

"Hello father." Carlisle said meekly.

He made sure to cast his gaze down. He didn't want his father to remember him as a monster with red eyes and fangs.

His father made his way down the aisle, striding slowly and hesitantly.

"Where have you been?" He nearly shouted. "I had half the city torn apart for you! Where is your sister?!"

As his father got closer it was harder and harder for him to ignore the sound of his heart pumping and the blood rushing just under his frail skin. Luckily the church was filled with the thick smell of candles and dying flowers. Carlisle swallowed the thick coating of venom in his mouth and took a step back.

"Please don't come closer." He said, holding up his hands and stepping back further.

Carlisle backed himself right by the cluster of candles, throwing enough light on him that his father let out a horrified gasp.

"Demon!" He hissed.

It was then that Carlisle's father noticed the still form on the altar. His accusing eyes darted to his son. He paused for a moment before rushing up to see who was dead in his house of worship. Carlisle watched as his father gently shook Lucy, much like he had before, hoping to God that she was somehow just sleeping.

"Monster!" he roared. "My Lucy, you took my Lucy!"

The man quickly grabbed the nearest thing he could use as a weapon. A half dozen candles toppled to the ground as he wielded his weapon.

Carlisle began to retreat back to the large doors he'd entered from. His father advanced on him, waving the metal stand and cursing his name.

"Father please!" Carlisle begged.

It had been an accident. If he explained his father would forgive him, help him become the man he was three days ago again. But priest wasn't having any of that. He lunged at Carlisle, wanting nothing more than to kill the beast before him.

Acting on reflex Carlisle deflected the attack, sending this father crashing into the pews a few rows back. He hit the wood with a crack and he went still.

The breath froze in Carlisle's throat. It wasn't till a low moan sounded from the pew that he released it. He didn't want to kill his father too.

The priest slowly stood up, gripping the pew for support, the other hand clutched the back of his head.

"Please, I'm leaving. Father forgive me!" Carlisle pleaded.

"Get out." His father whispered.

"Father, I-"

"GET OUT, YOU DEMON!" He wailed.

Carlisle's father held up his hand and bowed his head, as if willing the monster to leave. It was a moment till Carlisle realized he was praying. His father lowered the hand that was holding the back of his head to join the other.

His father had suffered an unfortunate head wound from his collision with the pews. The hand that had been gripping the spot in pain was smeared with dark red blood. That familiar twist returned to Carlisle's stomach. His throat went up in flames.

Carlisle staggered a step forward. His eyes locked on the blood of his father.

In the excitement neither of the men noticed the small fire that was starting to grow by the altar. The candle that had fallen were beginning to spread their flames to the surrounding rugs and tapestries.

But neither of them really cared about that at the moment.

Carlisle's hand flew to this throat and he tried his best to will the hunger away. His father looked up and noticed his son was beginning to have trouble, he smiled, thinking his prayers were working. Slightly more confident his stepped out the pew and slowly mad his way closer to Carlisle. With every step getting closer to death.

The moment Carlisle thought of running away his knees gave out. He wasn't strong enough to run from temptation like this yet.

"Father, please." Carlisle rasped, his voice thick with hunger.

"It will all be over soon son." His father promised.

Once close enough the priest picked up his weapon and raised it to strike. Just as the pole was about to hit him, Carlisle reached up and yanked his father forward. In a quick movement Carlisle had him pinned to the floors of the church.

Carlisle's lips pulled back, allowing his father to see their perfect sharpness. But just as Carlisle was about to quench his thirst, he was plucked off and sent flying through the air. He landed in a defense stance back by the now burning altar.

"Mind the flames will you." She muttered.

The woman who had turned Carlisle stood over his father. Her gaze was knowing and calculating.

"Look at this mess." She scolded.

But Carlisle didn't care what she had to say, she was interrupting his kill. With a snarl Carlisle launched himself at the woman. She easily sidestepped the attack and Carlisle rushed right into the arms of two large vampires. The restrained him and forced him to kneel.

"One day." She says.

Carlisle tilts his head in confusion.

"You're alone for one day and you succeed in killing half your own family and…" The woman glances back to the front of the church, which is completely engulfed in fire and quickly spreading.

"And you burn down a church." She sighs. "Get him out of here." She mutters.

The woman turns her attention back the confused priest, in one fluid motion she lifts him up by his white collar, the same way she had done when she intended to kill Carlisle. The vampires began to drag Carlisle from the burning church. The newborn begins to struggle against their hold, trying desperately to break free.

The woman leaned in and whispered in the priest ear.

"Forget this!" he immediately went limp.

"No!" Carlisle roared.

His efforts to escape increased ad he was taken further and further form the church he's once called home and his now deceased family. He thrashed and he swore and I wasn't sure if it was because he was still lost in his bloodlust or if he was fighting to free Lucy and his father from the presence of that horrible woman.

Carlisle's father was carried and left on a bench about a street over from the burning church.

The further Carlisle was taken from the church the more the memory started to fade out.

"Rest easy little one." The woman cooed when she caught up. "He won't remember the monster you are, and soon neither will you."

Then like a switch, it all went black.

Sorry that took forever. I just finished my first year of college. Review!