I do not own any characters, plots, or anything else pertaining to "Grey's Anatomy". This chapter will feature Jackson's P.O.V. during his conversation with April about seeing Samuel. As always, thanks for following/favoriting and commenting.

Chapter 12

The New Normal

Jackson feels his heart clench, every time his son is mentioned. His son. Jackson takes in every detail April gives him about Samuel and imagines what his son would look like. What his personality would be like. April does her best to describe him and Jackson's grateful for it. He's grateful for her. There's something about the way she comes alive when she talks about something he did or said, that makes his heart skip a beat. He's missed this, her like this. It reminds him of the April he used to know, his best friend. The girl he had been in love with even before he had realized it.

April gives him a soft smile before reaching out to grab his hand. His eyes meet hers. "Are you sure you're okay with all this?" Jackson gives her a nod. "I'm fine, it's just a lot to take in." April gives his hand a squeeze. "I know, when I first saw Samuel, I felt like I was imagining it. I never thought I'd see him again, hold him…" He hears her trail off and the tears start to fill her eyes. Jackson can't imagine how much pain she had gone through seeing their son, only for him to be taken away again. His heart twists in his chest as he feels that gnawing hole in his heart start to gape open wider.

Samuel had taken a piece of him when he had died, a piece of both of them. He feels a tear fall down his cheek, as his eyes meet April's again. After Samuel died, he had tried to be strong for her, pretend that their son's death wasn't impacting him as much as it was her. Jackson had initially thought that he was helping April by hiding his feelings, but then she had left him. When she had gone into a coma, he had realized just how wrong he had been. By not sharing his feelings and grieving together, they had become disconnected from each other, and their marriage had ended. They both didn't know how to deal with the loss of their son.

Without thinking about it, Jackson reaches out, and brings her into his arms. It's been a long time since she's been this close and even longer since the smell of her floral perfume has hit his senses. It's a quick hug, but he knows he's giving her the support she needs right now. As he starts to pull back, Jackson's careful not to wake up Harriet, who's snoring softly on April's lap. "I'm sorry." he whispers to her. He sees her stiffen slightly before meeting his eyes. "What are you sorry for, I'm the one crying?" Jackson shakes his head. "I should have been a better husband." Her eyes widen at his words, but she lets him continue. "You needed me to share what I was feeling. I thought I was helping you, but I realize now, that I was driving you away." April shakes her head. "It wasn't all your fault. I should have seen you were hurting, just as much as I was. When you gave me that ultimatum before I left for my second tour in Jordan, I should have listened. I'm sorry I wasn't listening." He stares at her for a few seconds, surprised that she's decided to take some of the blame.

When she had come back from Jordan, she had made it clear that she wasn't at fault. By that point, he had given up on them. As soon as she had boarded that plane for the second time, he had decided that their marriage was over. In his eyes, there was no going back for them. No way to salvage anything. "Samuel made me remember the good times we were together, but also some of the painful times. He made me realize that we've been through a lot, but we're not broken." Jackson feels a twinge in his heart at her words. Maybe this could be their new beginning? There's a silence between them for a few moments before April's eyes lock with his and her voice fills the room. "I think the only way we're going to find our balance again is if we discover what made us work in the first place." Jackson gives her a smirk. It's not exactly what he had expected her to say, but he's glad she's not closing the door on them completely. "Are you friendzoning me?" April laughs at that and Harriet stirs on her lap. He watches as she holds her breath, until their daughter's snores, start to fill the room again.

Her eyes finally meet his once more. "Why not, I seem to remember you putting me in the friendzone for years?" Jackson smiles at that. "I did do that, but I don't regret it." Her eyes stare at him in curiosity for a few moments before he explains himself. "I don't regret it because being your best friend was the first time that someone knew me not as an Avery, but as Jackson. You never cared who my family was. I don't think I ever thanked you for that." He watches as a familiar sparkle comes to her eyes. "I wasn't going to give you an even bigger head than you already had." He gives her another smirk. "I didn't have a big head." April accidently lets out another big laugh and Harriet sits up quickly rubbing her eyes. "Why are you laughing so loud, mommy?" He watches as April's smile faulters. "I'm sorry, nugget, daddy just said something really funny." Jackson shakes his head, as Harriet turns her attention to him. "What did you say, daddy?" She's looking at him expectantly and he's trying to figure out how to answer. His eyes travel over to April, who's giving him an amused smile.

Jackson knows that she's enjoying this, as he turns his attention back to Harriet. "Well, mommy used to be a pretty big nerd. She had this red notebook and…" April cuts him off. "…daddy had a lucky pencil he used to carry around for luck." Their daughter starts to giggle, and he shakes his head at April. "That's so funny, daddy! What was the name of your super-duper lucky pencil?" He grimaces at her word choice. "It didn't have one." Harriet goes into another fit of giggles and April joins in. Jackson knows that he's outnumbered here, but he's grateful because he's sure, that whatever happens with April, at least they'll always have this.