"I'm fine," Daniel growled, irritated with the stream of questions being directed at him. Again. For the tenth day in a row. He was grateful he had been allowed to leave the infirmary and wander around the base. That, of course, only came after he remembered what the base actually was.
Jack poked his arm. "Stop growling. It's rude."
Daniel swatted his arm away. "According to you-"
Jack raised his hand, in a motion to pause. "According to the very detailed paperwork, you mean."
Daniel rubbed the back of his neck. At least the ability to read hadn't disappeared. "I've done this before. And I was fine."
Jack waved his hand. "Sure. Memory loss again. Perfectly fine. No problemo. Aces."
"According to you...and the damn paperwork, my memory came back quickly last time this happened. I'm sure this time isn't any different."
Jack's pause was suspicious, but Daniel had other things on his mind. Like when he would be allowed to go home. Despite being on 'leave' for about eight months, General Landry had given him some extra personal leave. He had been tight-lipped through the entire exchange, almost too afraid to ask him what he had experienced in those eight months.
It was on the third day that he regained his memory of the Stargate Program, which made things much easier for everyone involved. Jack had barely left his side since he woke with a start in the infirmary. Daniel recalled the look of relief on his face followed by a look of pure fear when Daniel had asked inquired not only after his identity, but his own. "Damn Ancients," he had muttered.
He vaguely recalled hearing the sound of a woman shouting beyond the door but it had quickly dissipated. He had woken with a terrible feeling, as if he was missing something, as if a piece of him was hidden away, just out of reach. He had recalled his parents' death that same day, reliving the grief for a third time.
It was on the third day he remembered Sha're.
The pain of realising he had had a wife and she had been ripped from him had been exhausting. Still, Jack hadn't left his side, explaining it away with "Sam will kill me." So, he had wallowed in his misery, expecting and then receiving flashes of his life to reappear- both the good and the bad.
Teal'c had visited often, recalling stories of the 'glory days of SG-1', as Jack had put it. Sam had even managed to send word from the Hammond. Seeing his friend's face had delivered a brief flashback to her Replicator double, but then it resettled in his brain and filed away as part of his long and complicated past.
Once things had reacquainted in his brain, such as the death of General Hammond and the reintroduction of General Landry, things had quickened. He was fairly confident that all the important things had returned, however, the lingering feeling that something was missing still permeated his very soul. Once Sha're's memory had returned to him, he thought it was the absence of his wife that had triggered the deep feeling in his bones. However, the memory of his wife had resettled somewhere deep down, somewhere packed away, tight. It hurt, but there was something else, a throbbing, a pulsing, something saying a part of you is missing.
He was hoping a quick visit to his own place would help him work it out. He had tried prompting Jack and Teal'c for information. They had shared a look between them, but revealed nothing. "Perhaps not all of your vital memories have returned yet, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c had said. "I am sure, in time, they will."
His meeting with his C.O had been frosty and short. He had visited him in the infirmary, only briefly. Daniel had barely remembered Colonel Mitchell when he had stalked into the room, looking at him up and down.
"Jackson," he said in a clipped tone.
"Mitchell," Daniel had replied. He hadn't remembered much of their time together at that stage. He'd never say it aloud, but he was confused as to why Sam hadn't been promoted instead. Whatever had happened between the two of them was obviously serious, because the man looked as if he wanted to strangle Daniel right there in the infirmary, court martial be damned. He wondered what he could have possibly done to the man to warrant that kind of reaction.
"Anything important come back?" he had asked pointedly. Daniel had been distracted, noticing a small stain on Mitchell's standard-issue black shirt. He glared daggers at Daniel then. "Never mind. Get those memories back. We can talk then."
"Colonel," Jack warned as Colonel Mitchell had stalked back out of the infirmary. Daniel hadn't seen him since. Probably for the best, as it was. Memories filled in most of his waking moments. He had seen him fighting alongside Mitchell, sharing meals in the commissary, even playing basketball. Many of these memories seemed strange, as if there was a blur to them, a part of them altered or missing.
He had asked Dr Lam to run tests. "The Ancients altered your memories the first time you descended, Daniel Jackson. Perhaps it would be prudent to assume they have done so again." Teal'c, ever the voice of reason, had accompanied him this time. "Do you recall any of your experiences for the last eight months?"
He couldn't. He had flashes of feelings, here and there. The feeling of guilt hung about him, but he wasn't sure if that was a result of his sabbatical with the Ancients or another part of his life he had simply forgotten. In any case, he was now desperate to return to his home, hungry to fall back into his life here. He had now chosen to return from the higher planes three times. There was obviously a reason for him to be here, rather than up there. He doubted if he would ever return now. So he had to work out why it was he had come back. According to the General, the Ori were defeated. Once again, they had got the bad guys. Jack had told him that he had been brokering a treaty with the Ancients, one he had no memory of doing.
His work saving the galaxy was done.
So what was he missing?
The sound of General Landry scraping his seat back broke Daniel out of his reflection. "How are you feeling, Dr Jackson?"
Daniel shifted in his seat. "Most of the memories have returned, Sir. Dr Lam has given me a clean bill of health. I would like to formally request to take my personal leave."
The General flicked through Daniel's file. "O'Neill?"
Jack shrugged. "Seems like last time. Maybe some time at home will do the kid good."
General Landry held his gaze. "And nothing else has come back, son?"
Daniel sighed. "General, if any of my knowledge of my time away comes back, you'll be the first to know."
The General pushed Daniel's file away. "Then you have my permission. I hope your convalescence is quick, Dr Jackson. We've missed you around here."
Daniel felt relief flush through him. "Thank you Sir." He stood, waiting for Jack.
"I'll take you home, Daniel. Go get your stuff and I'll meet you at the surface." He looked between the two Generals, suspicious. Daniel finally nodded in agreement and stepped outside the office, just out of sight enough, but still in earshot.
"Are you sure this is a good idea?"
"Have you got any others, Hank? She doesn't want to do it. Can't say I blame the woman."
Before he could hear anything else, Teal'c appeared at the door. "Is it good news, Daniel Jackson?"
He ran his hand through his hair. "Ah, yeah. Permission granted. Just gotta pack some stuff."
Teal'c gestured towards the stairs. "I shall accompany you."
The question was burning at the back of his throat but he pushed it down. That empty feeling didn't budge, it stuck to him as he passed through the corridors. Some people welcomed him back, but a fair few avoided his eyes. "This happened the last time you descended, Daniel Jackson. It is nothing to be concerned about. Things will return to normal once you return from your personal leave."
The elevator ride down to his quarters was silent. Daniel was grateful. Finally, they arrived and as the doors opened, he was greeted with a scowl.
"Colonel Mitchell," Teal'c said evenly. He had known Teal'c for over a decade, others might have taken his voice for calm, but Daniel was concerned at the element of surprise in Teal'c voice. "I thought you were not going to be on base today."
"Teal'c. Jackson." He glared at the two of them. "We-I, needed to pick a few things up." His eyes looked tired, as if he had been up all night. "The General gave you permission, then, Jackson?"
"Hmm?" Daniel was attempting to look past his C.O, at the quarters to the left. Someone was clearly in there, yet he couldn't remember it ever being permanently occupied. "Ah, yeah. Once I'm feeling up to it, I'll be coming back. Needed some time."
Mitchell huffed. "Of course you did. Well," Mitchell gestured. "I'll be just be, uh, getting my stuff. Let me know if you start…"
"Remembering. I know," Daniel snapped. "You and everyone else here."
Mitchell's face returned to the scowl. "Good to see you, Jackson."
Daniel turned, grateful his quarters were so close to the elevator, his ID card gripped in his hands. "Let's go," he mumbled to Teal'c. He had taken a few steps when he heard a sharp noise in the opposite direction.
He shook his head, convinced he was hearing things, as he scanned his ID card. "A baby on the base?" he muttered. "Who would think of doing that?"