Hello, fellow fanfic readers 'n' writers! The Two Kidnappings continues in this chapter. What happens next is fairly self-explanatory; you read and find out. Just as a quick heads-up, I will be busier once September rolls around - That's not important whatsoever, me! All that needs to be said is, 'Please REAR!' So, please REAR!
DISCLAIMER: Yeah, yeah, we get it. You own all the rights, Nickelodeon and co. Don't rub it in.
The Expert looked at his tag in undetectable chagrin and spoke. "Oh. These guys again. How are you doing today?" [He's doing this with a little more snark than the last time. Fun!]
The man sounded a little shocked by the sort of informal greeting, but answered nonetheless. "Better than you will be."
"I see. Well, we're still not giving you that money you want, so better enjoy your time while you can." [Make that a lot more snark than the last time. More fun!]
"What is he doing?" Zuma asked Rere. He got a deadpan expression in response. "Oh, wight." [What is with these guys and short term memory? Come on, Zuma! We just established what he's doing! Pay more attention!]
"I'm going to cut your time down to two days if you keep doing this," the kidnapper said.
"Well, I don't mind. It would be nice to see the world, so you can come whenever you want in the week," The Expert stated. [Okay. That was a bit odd.]
There was silence for a few seconds. "What?"
"Oh? You don't remember when you said 'get rid of you.'? Short term memory loss must be kicking in."
"Some nerve." [Hypocrite. Stupid hypocrite.]
"This from the ones who are trying the same thing, that they know won't work, on the same guy, on whom they know it won't work." [That's what I said...]
The man growled. "Three days, or you won't be here anymore." He tried to hang up quickly, but The Expert just stopped him again.
"Awesome. It's vacation time. Who's excited?" [Me! Me! I am! I'm excited!] There were cheers from the other pups upon provocation from Rere. [And I didn't need provocation! Ha! Take that, pups!]
"What do you mean?" The kidnapper was a bit nervous about having another secret plan uncovered.
"You said, 'get rid of you.' and 'you won't be here anymore.'. What else besides a free, albeit forced, vacation could this mean?" The Expert asked. [A relocation programme? A witness protection program? An exchange student programme?]
"That we will kill you!" He shouted it with some ferocity, but not a single eyelash was batted by anyone. [I didn't blink as I typed this. So, expected.]
"But is that what you mean?" [Armor-Piercing Question, or APQ.]
Silence.
The pups were getting rather impatient with the man on the line. They thought him really stupid for trying the same thing twice, when he knew it wasn't going to work the second time. [I ... oh, never mind.]
Finally, there was a sound of rage from said man. "Fine! You win. Follow the crime scene evidence to find what you want." With that, he ended the call and the PAW Patrol rejoiced. [Cue the 'Celebration Time' song.]
In the midst of the celebration, however, The Expert disappeared to the crime scene. And it wasn't until he arrived there that the others realised that he was gone. [You all are very slow. How could nobody have noticed the deficiency of white in the room?]
"Where'd he go?" Marshall asked. [Really? Just... really?]
"To the crime scene, Marshall," said an irked Skye.
"Should we go with him?" Zuma questioned. [Let me use my powers of spoilers to say, 'Let me use my powers of telepathy to communicate the answer.'.]
They all looked at each other as if telegraphing the answer to each other, before all dashing outside for their rigs - with the exception of Rere, of course. [I wanted to do that! That's not fair!]
Meanwhile, The Expert had followed the evidence from the crime scene and had located the site of the kidnappings. He surveyed the area and discovered two 'sacked' and bound individuals, whom he instantaneously recognised to be Ryder and Chase. Before he could go to them and free them, he was stopped by the three kidnappers, each with a gun drawn and pointed to him. [Why can't I just make things easy for once?]
"Are you the one who has been answering our calls and foiling our plots?" one asked. [Straightforward.]
The Expert, emotionless as per usual, simply answered, "Yes." [Versus straightforward.]
"Are you prepared to pay the price for this?"
"It better not be the old charged price of $100 million." This served to make the men more angry. [Snaaaaark!]
"No. Actually - "
"The price is my life? Well, at least you're all smarter than the last guy that tried to kill me." [Great! Speech predictions! Yay!]
The kidnappers were surprised by the speech prediction. "How - "
"Never ask that around me. It usually doesn't end well for you." [By that, he means that I will shout this at you. ... RULE NUMBER ONE! I don't care if you don't know him. Follow. It. Or else.] The Expert was a bit tired of these men and yawned. This aggravated them more.
"A life for two. Isn't that fair?" one kidnapper asked, getting the topic back on track. The Expert completely ignored him and began to sing, of all things. [He can sing? Endless repertoire much?]
"This is the song that doesn't end. [Hey, I know this song!] It just goes on and on, my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because this is the song that doesn't end. It just goes on and on, my friend. ..."
As the song was being sung, the PAW Patrol and Rererangi were watching on, and they saw the men drop their guns to their sides in favour of listening to the iterating song in wonder at how The Expert was able to sing such an annoying song in such a situation as this. [Firstly, the song is annoying, yes, but it's not that annoying. Secondly, if the guy can calmly pick apart your plans, would you actually be surprised by this?]
"How come they're not trying to shoot him anymore?" Rubble inquired.
"He has that kind of stunning effect on people," Rere answered, facing the young English bulldog. [One way or another. Isn't that right, Rere?] She turned back to the unfolding pseudo-drama to see one man roll his eyes and raise his gun again, the others following suit. She snarled and muttered under her breath, "Nobody messes with my Ko Taku Aroha. Especially not you." [They're dead. Enough said. ... That rhymes, actually.] She emerged from their viewing area and pelted toward the kidnappers.
"Where are you going?!" Skye asked in a loud whisper. Rere didn't hear her; she was already out of earshot. [That's fast.] Skye tried to run off after her, but she was prevented from doing so by Everest, who said, "Let her go. She'll be fine." [You hope.]
Rere, meanwhile, lunged at the armed men and attacked them with a wrath unequalled by any girl before her. She subdued them in ten seconds flat and held them on the ground, mainly through intimidation. [I was going to put an impressed comment here, but no words would describe my impressed...ness.]
"Kaore tetahi e tukuna ana Ko Taku Aroha. Haere atu i konei i tenei wa. Kaua e hoki mai ano ki konei, no te mea ki te mahi koe, ka pouri koe," she browbeat them in her native tongue with a growl so pronounced that her words were almost unintelligible. [I warn you, Google Translate is not reliable here.] The men, despite not understanding a single word, agreed hastily for fear that the spine-chilling white dog on top of them would proceed to kill them if they did otherwise. Rere let them get up, and they retreated with their tails between their legs. [Um, if that were possible.] Rere watched them go rather triumphantly.
The rest of the PAW Patrol emerged from hiding and immediately ran to free the hostages, who were just as happy to see them as they were to see the hostages. There were hugs all around. [#HugNation.]
While this was going on, Rere turned to The Expert and hugged him. She asked, "Are you alright?"
The Expert returned the embrace and said, "That's for you, Rererangi." [Nope! You're wrong. You're finally wrong! ... It's for both of you.]
When the two broke apart, The Expert was put into another one by Chase, who began to say that The Expert had been like a brother to him and that he was happy that his 'brother' had saved him, blah, blah, blah. [Oh , no. Now the normal text is starting to become like me! Soon I won't have a job! Is anyone hiring?]
Ryder then gave The Expert his gratitude by - oh, who cares right now. [No... no, no, no! My job! It's goooone!]
After the grand reunion, the PAW Patrol returned home, the rescuers feeling victorious and the rescued feeling grateful for being saved. However, when Chase and Ryder asked the other pups what had taken place while they were away, all of the pups - sans The Expert and Rererangi - ran away as fast as they could. [Well, at least I have one more thing to say. ... Well, then. ... And that's it from me. Ciao forever, friends.]
We. Are. Done at last! Document deletion hit me kinda hard with this one, but it's out now and that's what matters. On a sadder note, our commentator has had his job taken from him, but the words that he has left with us will be remembered for the rest of the stories, after his departure. ... You didn't believe that, did you? Don't tell him yet, but he will be rehired in the next story in 'Misadventures'! Long live the comments! ... Back on track, please EAR!
Bye! Have a nice day! See you in the next chapter! Don't forget to review! Send a PM! Maybe some ideas, alright?