Disclaimer: I own nothing that has to do with Uncharted or Gravity Falls.
Chapter 2: The Search for El Dorado
(Dipper and Stan walk through a remote part deep in the Amazon jungle. Dipper leads the way while Stan catches up.)
Stan: (panting) Hold on. Hold on, kid. I'm not as young as I used to be.
Dipper: (smirking) Yeah, you weren't too old for that little barmaid in Lima, were you?
Stan: Well that was different. Although I must admit, equally as strenuous.
Dipper: (chuckles) Well, hang in there, old timer. We're just about there.
Stan: You know, this reminds me - I ever tell you about the time I pawned a phony 16th-century santo off on Pablo Escobar? (laughs) Ah, risky move, but by time he figured it out, I was - (notices Dipper isn't paying attention) Dipper, are you even listening to me?
Dipper: Hanging on every word.
Stan: Ah, why waste my breath.
(The duo approach a narrow passage in between some large trees.)
Stan: You really think Francis Drake came all the way up here, huh? We're an awful long way from England.
(They get through the passage into a small clearing. They don't see anything around.)
Stan: Well?
Dipper: (holding a GPS) I don't get it. According to this, we're right on top of the mark.
Stan: Maybe you're not reading that thing right. Let me see it.
Dipper: No, this is the place.
Stan: There's nothing here, Dipper. Another goddamn dead end.
Dipper: Easy, Stan. Just relax. Let's take a look around.
Victor Sullivan: Man, this is like trying to find a bride in a brothel.
(Dipper looks around the edge of the clearing and finds a more narrow passage in between two giant rocks.)
Dipper: Through here.
(They make their way through and come across a much larger clearing with ruins of small, ancient stone structures with flat surfaces on top.)
Stan: Well, now this is more like it! What do you think this is - Incan?
Dipper: Nah, it's older than that. Like two thousand years older.
Stan: Huh.
(Dipper climbs up one of the short towers and jumps to another.)
Stan: Be careful up there.
(Dipper looks around and spots a strange wooden area of the ground floor by the wall of the clearing.)
Dipper: Hey, there's something funny about the ground down there.
(Stan walks over and inspects it.)
Stan: It's hollow. We gotta find a way to smash through this.
(Dipper jumps over on the wall and finds a large stone rock on the edge and pushes it down. The stone breaks through the floor creating an entrance.)
Stan: Good work, kid!
(Dipper drops down from the wall and they enter the cave.)
Stan: Uh, think we're gonna need the flashlights for this one.
(They turn on their flashlights and walk down the cave. They enter a very big room with pillars holding the ceiling up. Other than that, the room is empty.)
Stan: (sarcastically) What a warm and homey place, huh?
Dipper: (laughs) Not quite what we were expecting, huh?
Stan: Yeah - where's all the damn gold?
Dipper: Ah, this place was picked clean centuries ago.
Stan: No-good limey pirate.
(Dipper finds an old Spanish helmet on the ground and picks it up.)
Dipper: No, it wasn't Drake. Check this out. Looks like the Spanish got here before he did.
(Stan takes the helmet and throws it across the room.)
Stan: (frustrated) Well then they're the real pirates!
Dipper: What's the matter with you?
Stan: Dipper, I need some large sum of loot right now! I'm up to my eyeballs in debt! I was really countin' on this one.
Dipper: Too many big bar tabs in Lima, I guess?
Stan: (calms down) Yeah, that and, well, just a few bad deals.
Dipper: (smiling) Yeah, well, I always told you to stay away from the bad guys - and the bad girls.
Stan: (smirking) Yeah? Look who's talkin'.
Dipper: What's that supposed to mean?
Stan: That reporter. I saw the way you were eyeing her.
Dipper: (scoffs) Pacifica? Please. I snuffed any chance with her the second we ditched her on that dock.
Stan: (laughs) All's fair in love and war, kid.
Dipper: Hm. And what if you can't tell the difference?
Stan: Then, my friend, you are in big trouble.
Dipper: Alright, well, let's just see if the Spaniards left anything behind that we can use to find out where they went.
(They exit the room and came across a deep gap.)
Stan: Careful, Dipper, that's quite a drop.
Dipper: No kidding.
Stan: We gotta find a way across.
(Dipper spots a barrel next to a pillar and gets an idea. He pulls out his gun, shoots the barrel and sends the pillar down as a platform.)
Stan: (laughs) That'll work.
(They cross the gap and come to a large door with a pulley and counterweight. Dipper pulls on the chain to open the door until it slips.)
Stan: Here, let me do that.
(Stan pulls the chain until the door opens all the way.)
Stan: I'll hold it open. See if you can jam it from the other side.
(Dipper enters the next room and finds an old cart. He pushes it under the door.)
Dipper: All right, let go. This oughta hold it.
(Stan releases the chain and the door lands on the cart. A crackling sound is heard.)
Dipper: Hurry, Stan!
(Stan runs under the door as it comes down and crushes the cart.)
Stan: That was a little too close. Let's hope this place has a back door, huh?
(They look around the room and find a big metal brazier.)
Dipper: Y'know, this looks familiar. I think there's something in Drake's journal about this. (opens the diary) Yeah, here it is... Looks like this thing is some sort of lamp, or brazier. See if you can light it.
Stan: So, after all your bitching about the cigar, now it comes in handy, huh?
(Stan lights a match and drops it in the brazier. A fire emerges inside it and some lamps hanging from the ceiling light up as well. The light shows a pile of wooden beams blocking the next entrance.)
Stan: We gotta figure a way to clear this debris.
(Dipper looks up at the hanging lamp and shoots it with his gun. The lamp falls on the debris and burns it down.)
Dipper: Nice!
Stan: Beautiful!
(When the fire dies down, the duo walk through the entrance and approach a cliff. They see another entrance on the ground below and a ladder on the far side with some big rocks in front of it.)
Stan: Now what?
(Dipper begins scaling the wall by grabbing the stones sticking out.)
Stan: Uh, Dipper, I mighta been able to do that thirty years ago.
(Dipper climbs down to the bottom.)
Stan: I think there's a ladder behind all this rubble.
(Dipper shoots an explosive barrel next to the rocks, destroying the rubble blocking the ladder.)
Stan: Haha... wow!
(Stan climbs down the ladder, then they go in the entrance and find another brazier. Stan lights it which opens the next door.)
Stan: Let's get goin'.
(The two press on and come across a room with platforms on the upper level. There are symbols at each corner of the room on the upper level. In the middle of the room, is a big well with wooden boards over it. On the other side is another door.)
Dipper: Ah, now what?
Stan: What do ya make of this?
Dipper: Wait, I recognize these symbols...
(Dipper opens the diary and finds a page with the same symbols. Each one is marked with numbers one to four.)
Dipper: (reading) "The order of these signs have some importance."
(Dipper realizes the symbols are mechanisms and he has to activate them in the order required. He climbs up to the upper level and sees the symbol labeled "1". He goes to the corner of the first symbol and pushes it into the wall. A pillar then rises from the ground next to the well.)
Stan: Hey, something's happening!
(Dipper then went to the other corners and pushed to symbols into the walls in the order they were labeled. When all four symbols were pushed and the pillars rose from the ground, the wooden beams were pulled away and the well opened up.)
Stan: Whoa!
Dipper: Ha-ha!
Stan: (looking in) Pretty deep.
Dipper: Yeah. Looks like there's a ladder cut into the side. Wait here while I check it out.
Stan: All right. Just be careful.
(Dipper climbs down the ladder in the well and around the edge. He climbs up in an area carved into the side of the well. In it is a mechanism of a cubed stone connected to some chains. Dipper slides the stone across the floor and the chains start moving. A vent opens up across the well and water pours out.)
Dipper: Okay, getting somewhere.
(He stands on the edge of the cavern, about to jump in.)
Stan: (from above) Aw, don't tell me you're gonna swim in that!
Dipper: I've been in worse!
(Dipper jumps in the water and swims to a lower cavern in the side. He climbs out.)
Dipper: I am really wet.
(He then climbs up some platforms in the cavern and gets back up the upper levels. After climbing through a hole in the floor, he finds himself in the next room behind the door.)
Dipper: I made it! I'm on the other side!
Stan: Can you get this open?
(Dipper sees some old barrels of gunpowder next to the door. He draws his gun again and shoots the barrels. The explosion blows a hole in the door. Stan runs through when the smoke clears.)
Stan: Nice one!
(The two reach another chain mechanism. This one has two on each side of the door.)
Stan: (goes to the left) I've got this one.
(Dipper goes to the right and they pull the chains until the door opens completely. There's a large gorge with pillars along the center and on the sides. Around the pillars are a boardwalk held up by wooden beams.)
Dipper: Ah, this looks safe.
(Dipper begins to walk slowly on the boards until a big creaking sound is heard.)
Dipper: Whoa… Uh-oh…
Stan: Uh, Dipper... Get out of there, now!
(Dipper makes a run for it as the boardwalk begins to collapse behind him. As he runs, the pillars on the sides fall over. He reaches the end of the gorge and jumps for the ledge.)
Dipper: Oh no no no no NO NO!
(He makes it across safely and everything stops falling.)
Dipper: (laughs) I made it! I'm okay!
(Stan then crosses the gorge on the pillars that toppled over. The duo then finds a staircase on the other side.)
Stan: Now it looks like we're getting somewhere.
Dipper: After that, we better be.
(They go up the staircase and into another large empty room. On the back wall are numerous cave drawings and a very tall and wide space in the middle like something was placed there.)
Stan: (amazed) Oh man...
Dipper: (seeing the space) The temple must've been built around this...
Stan: Around what?
Dipper: A statue... (picks up some gold dust) a gold statue.
Stan: A huge gold statue! (looks at drawings of oddly human-shaped figures) And look, here, these people. They're worshiping the damn thing. At least I think they're people.
Dipper: (amazed) Of course. "El Dorado" - "the Golden Man"! Stan, it wasn't a city of gold, it was this. It was a giant golden idol.
Stan: Man, could you imagine what that thing would be worth now?
Dipper: (sees tracks cut in the floor) Look over here, tracks. I bet the Spanish dragged it out on cut logs. Huh... We're four hundred years late for this party.
Stan: So the trail's cold?
Dipper: Well, from here, it looks that way.
Stan: Son of a bitch!
Dipper: Unless… we follow the tracks and catch up to them.
(They follow the tracks down a hallway and down another staircase. They reach a wall with a big hole in it that leads back outside.)
Dipper: Huh. They stop here.
Stan: Yeah, it looks like the back wall of the temple was blown out.
Dipper: Yeah. The Spaniards must of made themselves a shortcut to get the treasure out.
Stan: Swell, now what?
Dipper: Let's look around for anymore traces.
(They enter another field of small, square-shaped stone structures. After passing through, they get to a pathway through some trees. When they reach the other side, they come to a cliff overlooking the jungle and hear the sound of running water.)
Dipper: Wait, Stan, do you hear that?
(They turn the corner on the cliff and come across an amazing sight.)
Dipper: (smiling) Now there's something you don't see everyday.
Stan: My God!