Disclaimer: I own nothing that has to do with Uncharted or Gravity Falls.
Chapter 7: Out of the Frying Pan…
(Dipper lies in an old prison cell still knocked out. He wakes up when he feels a pebble hit his face. He looks up and sees Pacifica looking through the window outside, smiling at him.)
Pacifica: I know I'm not a big time treasure hunter like you, but I doubt you're gonna find El Dorado in there. How'd you get yourself in this mess?
Dipper: (stands up and smiles) Trying to rescue you, as a matter of fact.
Pacifica: Aw, that's so sweet. (inspects the walls and metal bars) Traditional sandstone and stucco... limestone mortar... huh.
Dipper: How'd you get to know so much about this?
Pacifica: My show, episode 4: Architects of the New World. Yep, it'll just take a tug to pull these bars out.
(She leaves the window.)
Dipper: What? No, wait... are you sure?
(He hears voice from outside the room.)
Voice: Get out of my way, moron! Open this damn door!
Dipper: Oh crap.
(The door bursts open and in walks a short, chubby man with white hair sticking up. He approaches the cell.)
Gideon: (mockingly) Hey, Drake.
Dipper: (smirking) Gideon Gleeful. I shoulda guessed.
Gideon: Yes, you should have. When I was approached by agents Powers and Trigger and offered the job of securing this island for their arrival, I did not hesitate to accept when I heard you were gonna be here! By the way, fascinating document, huh? (holds up Dipper's map) Seems like this "Sir Francis" was in my line of work.
Dipper: Don't flatter yourself, Gideon.
Gideon: (chuckles) Always ready to be enemies, eh? Well, I gotta say, you caused me some trouble at first but now I've got the advantage over you. So, tell you what, lead me to the gold, and I just may let you live.
Dipper: (rolling his eyes) Is that it? Is that my deal? Die now, or help you, and die later. Well, it's a tough call, but you know what? I'll take "die now."
Gideon: (angry) Damn you! Listen to me, you maggot! I was promised treasure on this goddamn rock! And now my men are dying. They can't even go outside and take a piss without an armed guard, and I have nothing to show for it!
(As Gideon turns away in frustration, Dipper notices a hand put a metal hook on the window bars. Gideon calms down and faces him again.)
Gideon: I am making you a fair offer. You help me find the treasure, and the last man alive gets the gold... (smirking) and the girl, of course.
Dipper: The girl? Oh, Gideon, the girl's long gone. She's probably off the island by now, going for help.
Gideon: (chuckles) You were never very good at poker. I will find her, trust me. How much trouble could one girl be?
(Suddenly, there was the sound of a vehicle backing up outside and the wall is pulled down, leaving a big hole. They see Pacifica in the driver's seat of a jeep with a grapple in the front and a machine gun with a grenade launcher in the back.)
Pacifica: Well?! Come on!
(Gideon is shocked at what just happened. Dipper reaches out and swipes the map from his hands.)
Dipper: Thank you.
Gideon: Hey! Goddamnit!
(Dipper runs to the jeep and gets in the back.)
Dipper: Nice work!
Pacifica: Thanks.
(A pirate runs in the room with a key.)
Gideon: (desperate) Open it!
Pacifica: Hang on!
(She turns around and drives away as the cell door opens.)
Gideon: After them!
(They speed away from the prison and through a gateway that leads into the jungle next to the fortress as more of Gideon's men come out and start shooting at them.)
Dipper: Do you know where you're going?
Pacifica: No!
(As they begin to drive through the jungle, pirates chase them on trucks and three-wheel motorbikes.)
Dipper: Here they come!
(Dipper uses the mounted gun to fight off the pursuers. He shoots the bikes with the machine gun and the trucks with the grenade launcher. Soon, the enemies try to flank them.)
Pacifica: They're coming in from the side!
(Dipper turns the gun over and fires at them as they drive up next to him.)
Pacifica: On the left!
(He keeps shooting and they reach the edge of a cliff.)
Dipper: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Watch the cliff!
(They come across a dead end that was another cliff edge. Pacifica quickly hits the brakes and turns around. They almost lean over the edge.)
Dipper: Oooh, no no no no NO!
Pacifica: Oh crap!
Dipper: I said watch THE CLIFF!
(They start driving back the way they came.)
Pacifica: All right back there?
Dipper: Just drive!
(A large truck comes right towards them.)
Pacifica: Look out!
(Dipper immediately hits it with a grenade and the truck is blasted to the side. They drive past and turn to another path. More henchmen show up and chase after them.)
Pacifica: They're behind us!
(Dipper fends them off until they enter a cavern and come across a rocky barrier in their path.)
Pacifica: Dipper! Shoot it out!
(Dipper blasts the rocks apart and they speed through. They drive along another ledge.)
Dipper: W-wh-whoa CLIFF!
Pacifica: I see it!
(They avoid the cliff and keep driving with pirates still hot on their tail. Then reach a bridge with a large gap.)
Pacifica: (nervous) Uh... Dipper?
Dipper: Step on it! Punch it!
(She speeds up and they drive off the edge and jump over the gap to the other side. The pirates stop before they get to it.)
Pacifica: (relieved) We made it!
Dipper: I can't believe that worked!
(They drive away from the bridge and continue down the road.)
Pacifica: So, who was that guy?
Dipper: Oh, just an old business associ- OH LOOK OUT!
(They head right for ledge at the end of the road that overlooked a variety of buildings and a river below.)
Pacifica: Oh no! Hold on!
(She turns the jeep around and tries to drive away but the back wheels get stuck on the road and Dipper nearly falls off.)
Pacifica: Okay... Here, grab my hand.
(Dipper grabs her hand and she pulls back up. She slides over and he gets in the driver's seat.)
Dipper: Alright. You okay?
Pacifica: Yeah, I'm fine. (sees a small wound on his arm) Oh, but, you're bleeding.
Dipper: (shrugs) Eh, goes with the territory. Let's get the hell outta here. (tries to drive off but the back wheels are stuck) C'mon!
(He struggles to get it moving as two large trucks pull up. Gideon and a few men get out and approach them.)
Gideon: (laughing menacingly) Going somewhere?
Dipper: (smiling nervously) Hey, Gideon!
Gideon: Did you really think you could escape from moi?
Dipper: Oh, no. Just giving the young lady the ten dollar tour.
Gideon: (irritated) Shut it! I bet you're working for them, too.
Dipper: What?
Gideon: You thought you could set me up and keep everything for yourselves, hm?
(He pulls out a shotgun and fires at the jeep, shattering the windshield. Dipper and Pacifica duck down.)
Pacifica: Damn it! This guy's crazy!
Dipper: Gideon, just take it easy buddy!
Gideon: (laughs) Well, you're out of luck now, and out of road. Now, give me that map.
Dipper: (whispers to Pacifica) Hold on. (to Gideon) Alright, you got me, fair and square.
Gideon: Hey, don't move!
Dipper: (reaching down) Relax, Gideon, just getting the map, like you asked. (whispers to Pacifica) I said, hold on.
Pacifica: (whispering) I am.
Gideon: (impatiently) Well, hand it over.
Dipper: (mockingly) Well now, you told me not to move. Looks like you're gonna have to come get it.
Gideon Oh, for crying out -
(Dipper suddenly put the jeep in reverse and slammed on the gas.)
Pacifica: (startled) Dipper!
Gideon: (stepping back) Agh
(Dipper and Pacifica were sent off the ledge and into the water below.)