Today, we interrupt the main action for the sake of this fanfic's first special. The story below happened in Universes 4, 6, 16, 17, 18 and 20.
In a lovely spring field, Krillin is standing on a stage and performing a (not so successful) stand up comedy show, his friends watching him. So far, nobody has laughed.
Bulma has a bored expression, the baby version of Trunks she's holding mumbling something that sounds like: 'I secretly jack off to my daughter,' which he probably heard during the times he spent with his lovely grandfather. Thankfully, because of his baby undeveloped speech, nobody clearly heard it.
Gohan and Adult Trunks have awkward expressions, both being too polite to show their disapproval to their short friend.
Lastly, Bulma's parents are in their own, jolly world.
'Okay, this will do the trick,' Krillin, sweatdrops on his head, thinks and begins telling the joke below:
'Once upon a time, in a kingdom, a peasant had a bet with a friend.
Wanna bet I can fuck the princess? he asks.
Okay, it's a bet, his friend says.
The peasant goes to apply for a job as a servant at the palace.
What is your name, lad? the king asks him.
Oh, your majesty, it's a weird name and I'm terribly ashamed, he answers.
Come on, tell me and I promise not to laugh, the monarch insists.
My name is Yourdick, the peasant says.
It is a weird name indeed, but anyway, the king comments.
Later, the queen comes across him.
What is your name, lad? she asks.
Oh, your majesty, it's a weird name and I'm terribly ashamed, he answers.
Come on, tell me and I promise not to laugh, she insists.
My name is Vagina, he answers.
It is a weird name indeed, but anyway, the queen comments.
Later, he comes across the princess.
What is your name, lad? she asks.
Oh, your highness, it's a weird name and I'm terribly ashamed, she answers.
Come on, tell me and I promise not to laugh, she insists.
My name is Mystomach, he answers.
It is a weird name indeed, but anyway, the princess comments.
At night, the peasant sneaks into the princesses bedroom and starts fucking her.
Mom, Mystomach is hurting me, the princess yells.
Well, you shouldn't have eaten so much. Drink some soda, the queen suggests.
However, the princess keeps yelling, so her mother goes to her room to see what is going on. When she gets in, she sees the peasant fucking the princess.
Honey, come here, quick. Vagina is between our daughter's legs, she screams.
Well, isn't that where it is supposed to be? the king asks, baffled.
However, the queen keeps screaming, so the king goes to see what is going on. When he gets in the princesses room, he sees the peasant, who has just finished and is zipping his fly, ready to jump out of the window.
Then, the king, outraged, screams Guards, catch Yourdick and beat him to an inch of his life!'
Everybody sighs. 'Darn, tough crowd,' Krillin thinks.
Vegeta, who is standing with his back against a tree trunk, thinks 'Not the thing I hoped to see after exiting the spirit room for the second time. Or maybe I haven't entered the spirit room for the second time yet; I mean, who knows where in the name of canonicity those events take place anyway.'
That moment, before the comedian wannabe can attempt anything else, a spaceship lands. Paragus exits, along with some generic soldiers.
'Hello,' he raises his arm, politely but sternly. 'I am a dull, uninspired, generic villain that was created so that one more movie will be released and make more profit for TOEI. I am supposed to be a Saiyan that was missing when Planet Vegeta was destroyed, even though it was clearly mentioned in canon that only four Saiyans survived.'
Meanwhile, somewhere beyond space, time and any
form of canon logic...
'I have a faint sensation that this 'More Saiyans survived' trick is kinda overused,' Daiz says to Tullece. 'Next thing they're going to tell us that Vegeta has had a brother all those years who was conveniently never mentioned.'
'Do you know I'm actually Gohan's real father?' Tullece says, not paying attention to the last comment.
Surprisingly, Daiz is not surprised! 'It makes way more sense than Gohan being Kakarrot's son anyway. I mean, who can imagine that guy having sex?'
'What is sex?' Goku's voice resonates across the desert, even though Goku is not physically there. 'Is it something you can eat?'
'Shut up, Kakarrot,' Tullece and Daiz yell in unison.
'It's still a mystery who Goten's father is, though,' Tullece mumbles.
Universe 12, a few weeks before Multiverse Tournament...
Adult Trunks is writing something in his diary: 'Reasons I went back in time. 1. To bang my master's momma. 2. Something about droids.'
'Listen, your timing is really bad,' Krillin politely explains to Paragus. 'Tomorrow, we've gotta fight a generic villain who will try to defeat us with some sort of gas and ghost warriors before initiating a totally generic final boss battle and, a few days after that, we have Cell Games. I mean, seriously, do all villains have to attack us in the same week? Can't you come back later?'
'Oh, I apologize, I didn't know your schedule is so tight,' Paragus genuinely says, closing his eyes, placing his hand on his chest and bowing. 'But, please, understand that I have come here from far away. It would be a terrible ordeal to go back and then come here again. Besides, it took the writers so many hours to come up with my ingenius plan to destroy you.'
'What plan?' Vegeta asks.
'Well, I was gonna propose to you to become the king of our new Saiyan empire, even though there are hardly any Saiyans left (unless we count those in all fanfics in Fanfiction Net), hoping that your megalomania would just make you fall for that without using any common sense to ponder it first. Then, in case that failed, I would've told you about the one and only Legendary Super Saiyan, thus retconning the previous 'legendary' transformation, which has in the meantime turned into something every Saiyan and their mommas can do.'
'Wow, I have to admit that kind of writing is way better than all previous Dragon Ball movies,' Adult Trunks whispers.
'So, will you come?' Paragus asks, full of hope. 'Come on, it will take just a few minutes before you all die, minus the off screen time.'
'Fine, we'll do you the favor,' Vegeta sighs.
And so, Paragus was killed by his son, Broly, the Legendary Super Saiyan, who was subsequently killed by Goku's TOEI haxed attack.
Next time, the second part of Broly's special.