Note: In this chapter, the word 'come' is used a lot. Please, behave properly and don't mentally replace it with the word 'cum' every time you read the word 'come'. Seriously, guys, I mean it! It's not like that's exactly what I want you to do and I'm using reverse psychology. I swear!

Bardock and his crew are chilling in a desert of Planet Kanassa, resting after having decimated about 80% of the planet's population. Right now, they're discussing a serious topic. A really, really serious topic.

' Are Freeza, Dodoria and Zarbon guys or chicks?' Pumkin wonders.

'Dunno, man, depends on the dub,' Toma shrugs. 'In some dubs, they're guys, in some other dubs, they're chicks.'

'The worst of all is the Greek dub,' Bardock adds, 'where, as the series progresses, they change their gender every now and then.'

'And this is hardly the only problem of the Greek dub,' Fasha sighs.

Suddenly, a chi is sensed. 'An unusually strong Kanassan,' Bardock says, alerted. 'He's worth about 2.5 Saibaimen. I'll go and defeat him myself.'

And, with these words, he flies away.

Bardock lands before the last Kanassan. 'Wanna hear a joke before I kill you?' the Saiyan asks, without even introducing himself. 'How many Kanassans does it take to screw in a...'

'Oh, bringer of destruction,' the Kanassan interrupts him. 'I know I shall die by your hand. I hold no grudges against you, for I know you are merely the messenger of my people's death. I want revenge against the creature who asked for our destruction. For he or she (depends on the dub) asked for your destruction too.'

'Is this going somewhere?' Bardock asks, annoyed.

'I want you to come at me with all your might,' the Kanassan says.

'Oh, trust me, I will. There is nothing I want more in the world right now than to come at an ugly creature like you.'

'But I don't want you to come at me from a distance. I want physical contact. Penetrate me and fill me with your energy. Then you shall receive my enlightenment!'

And so, Bardock penetrated the Kanassan's heart. As soon as the blue creature was dead, Goku's father saw a terrible future vision.

Later, at Saiyans' palace...

Paragus is begging King Vegeta to spare the life of his newborn son, Broly, when Bardock bursts in the throne room.

'What's the meaning of this, Bardock?' the king snaps, annoyed. 'Can't you see that I'm busy killing a defenseless baby?'

'Your majesty and everyone else, please listen to me, it's an emergency,' the low class Saiyan starts talking really fast and uncontrollably. 'There was that ugly Kanassan and I wanted to come at him and he wanted me to come at him too and it was consensual so after it had been established that we both wanted me to come at him, he was like Please, don't come at me from a distance, I want you to touch me, penetrate me and fill me with your energy...'

Bardock has to stop to take a breath. Everybody is sweatdropping, freaked out. 'Umm, listen,' King Vegeta breaks the silence, 'your sexuality is nobody's business. You don't have to come here and broadcast it every time you penetrate a Kanassan and come at him.'

Seeing that words won't take him anywhere, Bardock gets angry, points a finger at the king and yells: 'Okay, that's enough. I challenge you to a fight over the throne!'

More awkward silence.

'Wait, is this even possible?' King Vegeta asks, confused.

'Sure it is!' Bardock snaps.

'Then how come nobody has ever challenged me so far?'

'Because this is a plot device that Salagir just pulled out of his ass. Now let's fight.'

And so, the two Saiyans engaged into combat, exchanging punches and firing blasts at each other, the blasts who missed their target opening holes in the walls nearby.

'Wait a minute, aren't their blasts capable of destroying at the very least a large city or something?' a nameless Saiyan wonders how the palace hasn't collapsed yet.

Before someone can answer, though, the fight has ended. Bardock is holding the unconscious former king by the hair.

'ALL HAIL THE NEW KING BARDOCK! ALL HAIL SALAGIR'S ASS!' everybody cheers in unison.