Chapter 9

I opened the door as quietly as I could manage. I was desperate to see for myself that she was alive, but terrified that she wouldn't want me there. When Japp had tracked down the doctor, who told us she had survived the surgery, I believe I would've fainted clean away were it not for Poirot's reassuring grip on my arm.

I slipped inside the room and took the chair beside her bed. She looked so small and fragile, her skin almost as pale as the linen which covered her battered body. Her hair, free from her usual rather severe style, lay loose on the pillow. I brushed a wayward strand off her forehead. The burns on her shoulder and neck looked angry against her alabaster skin. When we heard the doctor's report we were shocked and appalled. Poirot looked angrier than I had ever seen him, and even Japp proved that his years in the police force had not made him immune to such matters. They had gone to Scotland Yard to continue the search for Inglethorpe. It was better that they find him before I did.

I watched her sleep. I longed to open my heart to her, but the fear of rejection was more than I could bear. Even before all of this, I could not have spoken out. But everything was different now. I had to tell her. She deserved to know that it didn't matter, that she was still desirable. I steeled my nerve, grateful at least that she was in no position to run away from me.

"I'm so sorry, Miss Lemon. I'm sorry that you had to go through all that. I hate that our investigations have put you in harms way. Oh hell, I can't keep calling you Miss Lemon, or rather, I don't want to. I want to call you Felicity. Dammit all, I want to call you mine. I've wanted to call you mine for so long I can hardly remember wanting anything else. When I saw you like that..."

Suddenly, she was wide awake. Her eyes full of terror and unshed tears. "You saw me? You know?" She scooted backwards in the bed, trying to put as much distance between us as she could. I reached for her, but she shrank away from me.

"Why are you here? What do you think I can give you now? Look at me. What am I fit for? What has he left me fit for? Just leave, it's what you really want. Just leave me alone." Her face dropped into her hands and her tears finally fell. Seeing this woman, normally so together, crying like a child damn near broke my heart. Gently I pulled her hands away and raised her chin, making her look at me.

"I'm going nowhere. I'm going help you get over this. It will be okay."

"Get over this? How do I get over this? How do I get over knowing that my only time with a man was not of my choice? Can you erase it? Can you take the memory away? The memory of his face, of his voice, his smell? You can't. So why are you here? What use are you to me? What use am I to you?" She tried to push me away but I wasn't about to let go. Holding her upper arms as firmly as I dared, I waited while her flailing fists beat at my chest. Energy and anger spent, she collapsed in my arms. I wrapped her in my embrace, tucking her head under my chin and waved away the concerned nurse who had come to investigate the cries of her patient. Once the tears had subsided, Felicity looked up at me. "Did you mean it?"

"Every word. And I'll wait till you're ready, as long as it takes..." I was cut off by her lips on mine. I could sense her longing, even in this state the taste of her was intoxicating. But I knew this was wrong, as if she felt she had to prove something to me. I hoped she was just trying to prove it to herself. It took all my will power not to melt into her kiss and show her just how much I craved her and hang the consequences. But she was vulnerable and in pain, so I gently pulled away from her, my body feeling bereft at the loss of her touch. She looked hurt, rejected and I was quick to reassure her that I thought we should wait until she was stronger.

"I promise you, when you're a little better, that I will show you exactly how a man should make a woman feel." I felt a pleasurable shiver at the thought of finally being able to touch the woman I had desired for so long. I helped her to lie back under the covers and tucked them securely around her, placing a gentle yet passionate kiss on her temple. "Sleep now. I'll be right here waiting for you."