Chapter 9

P O V: Sylvie Brett

"How ya doin' kiddo?" opening my eyes I see both Herrman's sitting on my side along with Gabby, Mouch, Matt, Emily. Sunlight is now streaming through the windows my whole body is aching, my throat still burns. My breathing is still labored, so I have no clue how to answer Herrman's question. I don't want them to worry, yet they will know if I am lying. Matt comes over squeezing my hand his voice is soft as he whispers. "You don't have to answer, I understand," I smile grateful he gets it.

I can see Cindy has been crying I hope it's not because of me, Mouch looks torn as well. Gabby rubs my leg smiling she looks pale, her eyes are red. "Sylvie whatever you need we are here for you," struggling to get up she opens her arms to me, I settle myself inside of them.

Herrman is angry I can see it in his face in the fact he keeps clenching and un-clentching his fists. I want to offer some sort of reassurance to him that I will be okay. "Herrman," my throat hurts to speak but I keep going. "I'm not doing great right now but I will be I need you to know that, I need you guys to stop feeling sorry for me,"

He comes over taking my hands there are tears in his eyes he never cries what the heck? "Good kid because we can't lose you to," Lose me? Too? What's he talking about? I look at him as Gabby hisses kicking his leg just as Cindy slaps the back of his head. "Ow what the oh shit," "Lose me? Who else did we lose? What happened?" Gabby sighs "Sweetie you need to rest," I'm angry now "Don't baby me, did someone I know die? Who?" She looks at me than Mouch before Matt, I see the redness in his eyes. "Hailey was killed in the line of duty today babe," My chest squeezes tight I can't focus I quickly grab Matt's hand he lost so many people he cares about already. "I'm sorry Matt, truly if there was something I could do for you, name it, I will," "Focus on beating this cancer Sylvie mental awareness and positive attitudes go a long way."

We don't get a chance to say anything else because a doctor enters my room. "Good Morning everyone I am Dr. Jefferson, Dr. Manning has referred your case to me, I'm going to get right to the point, your a very sick young women, you need aggressive chemo straight away, the chances of your baby's survival is dismal, while I can't tell you to abort it, I can tell you to put it through Chemo is cruel and will set it up for a lifetime of developmental issues. Your young Sylvia, so don't be dramatic when I tell you this but you can have other kids some point down the line if you survive,"

I'm speechless at how rude this doctor is how ignorant and cold. I feel Emily squeeze my hand both of us holding our breaths as we see Herrman rise from his seat, Kelly and Matt quickly back him up. "You want drama asshole? First off her name is Sylvie not Sylvia, second off you better take your unprofessional ass out of this room before I kick it it back to med school because you obviously skipped basic humanity 101. Oh and you better believe asshole I'll be reporting you to Sharon Goodwin,"

I'm thankful Antonio isn't there he has enough to deal with right now. I can't breathe right my body is trembling. I feel Gabby enclose me as she kicks everyone out to give me privacy. I just want to get out of here and go home. When we're alone the damn starts to break a little. "Is this a cruel joke Gabby?" "What do you mean babe?" "I mean all these years I said I didn't want kids even a few hours ago, now the choice is taken away from me? Is this God's way of saying be-careful what you wish for?"

"No babe I don't believe that for a second, I think you are exhausted. I think you need a good shower, sleep and food, time to think research." she kissed my check as she rubbed my hair. "close your eyes angel rest I'll go talk to Natalie and see about getting you out of here."

Dr. Manning came in a few minutes later with Gabby behind her along with the rest of the crew sitting up I brace myself for whatever she has to say. "So I take it you didn't like Dr. Jefferson, not too shocked, I will keep checking for oncologists, I suggest you do the same when you get home. I will warn you though Sylvie, time is of the essence for you, treatment needs to start this week." I voice the question I have been wondering since she told me I had cancer hours earlier. "What was the percentage of blasts in my marrow?" I can tell by her sigh and delay in answering it's bad "85%" "Has the cancer spread?" "Yes to your chest, spinal fluid, spleen" "We need to talk about a backup plan if you decide to do chemo and it doesn't work or you relapse, we need to talk about a possible stem cell transplant,"

"I'm adopted. I don't have a twin or any siblings. I know a twin would be a perfect match,"

"Yes that would be ideal Sylvie but we have had success with non related donors so I would advise everyone who can be tested get tested."

"What about Sam," Matt asked "Well he would be a great match but he's three he's been through enough with Brent, besides he was created with the purpose of being Brent's donor if Brent should get sick again, he would be needed for him."

I squeezed Matt's hand "I wouldn't accept Sam being a donor he's too young. I can hold on till we have a match for me, let Sam be a kid."

"Don't make promises you can't keep Sylvie," "I'm not Matt. I have faith no matter what happens. I'll be okay, why don't we pray, thank you Natalie you gave us a lot to think about,"

"I want to be tested! Me too! Sign me up!" I was amazed by the out pouring of love from my friends, coworkers. Gabby took my hand and bowed her head in prayer. How could God ignore me with so many of my loved ones praying for me?