The teacher's lecture fades like background noise to his ears, making way for the bouts of hushed laughter that comes from the girl's mouth.
Kaneki furrows his brows, his pencil beginning to dig too hard into his sketchbook as he picks up on her excited whispers. He can just tell how high her voice would be if they weren't currently in class. His shading becomes too dark on the lined paper.
His motion softens, though, when he catches onto Hide's lowered voice in response to her words. At the same time, the sharp edge of the poisonous emotion egging him on cuts through his lungs, making it hard for him to breathe.
In his head, she's "the club girl," the one who's chatting with Hide the most out of all his classmates. The one Hide met when he was still in the club she is actively part of. The one that triggers this fire inside him, boiling his blood.
She's always laughing. When is she ever not happy?
His hand has its own mind, sketching out a raging monster with large teeth, multiple eyes and limbs, and guts everywhere. In its gaping mouth, a girl's legs swing in the air helplessly. His grey eyes are dark and blank, staring down at the rough drawing. For once, he doesn't feel ashamed.
The students are all taking turns reading passages out of the assigned book he had already finished weeks ago. His eyes peer over at the club girl and he wonders if she had even read anything.
She touches Hide's hand resting on his desk. Again.
His pencil accidently rips through a part of the paper.
"Now let's see…Mei, it's time for you to read the next paragraph please."
Kaneki watches her flinch in surprise as she had been keeping her attention on Hide behind her the whole time. The students stare at her expectantly while she keeps a smile on, standing to her feet.
"Paragraph 4 on page 12, please. I need you to stay focused, Mei. Nagachika can't be the most interesting person in the world right now."
The students snicker at the teacher's comment and Hide shrugs nonchalantly, a slight smirk curling his lips. Kaneki can't help but scoff at his action.
The club girl reads her assigned passage without falter and if she had been nervous, she didn't show any sign of it whatsoever. Once finished, she sits back promptly in her seat, that grin ever present on her face. Kaneki notices one of the boys gaining her attention when she's done, causing her to turn around and whisper in that fast, excited way she does.
"Okay, thank you, Mei. Now onto the next person…Kaneki."
Damn it.
Kaneki knows he can't escape this and begrudgingly stands up, folding his dark doodle over and away from prying eyes. He scans the page and spots where he needs to read. Just as he is about to start, he feels something hit his right side and his ears begin to burn. He hears the object, what sounds like a crumpled paper ball collide to the floor next to him. He doesn't have to look to know the culprit is one of those boys. His shoulders grow tense and he hesitates to say anything. The culprit snickers along with his crew, whispering overused, snide comments.
In the next second, he hears the boy exclaim in shock and Kaneki turns quickly to see that Hide had thrown his book at the boy's head. Hide's face shows complete anger, a hard glare set on the boy.
"Stop this childish behavior this instant! Nagachika, I'm warning you. One more move and you'll be staying an extra hour after class."
Hide doesn't seem to care as he keeps his glare on the boy a second longer before turning to the front, his arms crossed. Noticing Hide's discontent, Mei mouths to the other boy to "quit it."
"Please begin, Kaneki."
Kaneki's initial anxiety is cleared and he follows direction, making sure his voice doesn't sound shaky. Somewhere inside him, a hint of competitiveness strikes him when he thinks of the way Mei delivered her passage and it motivates him to keep going.
Kaneki doesn't realize he went overboard and the teacher cuts him off from going further. Kaneki feels the embarrassment rushing back and he quickly sits back down, but not before hearing a lone, loud clapping from the other side of the room.
His cheeks turn pink when he sees its Hide applauding him, that broad grin on the blond's face. His brown eyes connect with his grey across the room and Kaneki grins back, scratching his cheek nervously in response.
"Well, Nagachika, since you're so intent on getting everyone's attention, why don't you read the entire next page for us?" the teacher commands with growing impatience.
"Are you sure? After that brilliant reading? If you say so," Hide remarks.
He doesn't bother trying to retrieve his book that he had thrown, opting to borrow Mei's instead. Kaneki's gaze focuses on the way Mei stares up at Hide with a sparkle in her dark eyes.
Kaneki looks at Hide's concentrated expression, with his cheeks puffed in a cartoonish fashion as Mei helps him find his place. A soft exhale escapes him. His fingers graze through his sketchbook and he discreetly lifts a corner of a page where he can see a hint of the unfinished drawing he'd been working on.
The students laugh at Hide's delivery while he's reading his assigned page.
"I think that's enough for today…" He hears the teacher state in exasperation when Hide finishes.
"You're so silly, Hideyoshi," Mei says to him.
"Only on Wednesdays," Hide responds cheerfully.
He listens to her fake giggling again and he rolls his eyes. His teeth dig into his index finger, already tasting a drop of his own blood on his tongue.
…
Kaneki gathers his things swiftly and when he gets up from his seat, he sees Hide purposely nudging the boy who had thrown the paper ball at him before he leaves. In return, the boy holds up a middle finger at the blond. Hide pays the rude gesture no mind, bending over to collect his scattered belongings.
Kaneki bites his lip and he weaves through the desks to reach his friend. With Hide's back still facing him, Kaneki grins and places a hand between his shoulder blades.
Hide turns around with a glare but it immediately disappears as his brown eyes shimmer in delight at the half-ghoul. "Hey, there's my boy. I thought you were that asshole at first."
His face grows serious and his hand doesn't hesitate to reach up, holding Kaneki's right cheek and letting his thumb caress his soft skin. "You're okay though, right?"
"It was nothing. Don't worry, Hide," Kaneki replies softly. His hand reaches up to grasp Hide's.
Hide gives a small smile, his eyes warm as he lets his hand slowly fall off Kaneki's face, his thumb briefly brushing down the other's mouth. Kaneki's lips part and he yearns for Hide's touch as soon as it leaves.
The two exit the room side-by-side and once they do, a girl passes next to Kaneki's left and she pats his shoulder. Kaneki blinks and turns to the girl, who smiles at him.
"I liked your reading, Kaneki. I could tell you were really into it," the girl compliments.
Kaneki's mouth drops in surprise and he doesn't know what to say. "Uh…"
"I know, right? Such an underrated talent," Hide agrees in a dramatic manner.
Kaneki eyes him with a hint of annoyance as the girl chuckles in response. She directs her attention back at Kaneki, who shyly smiles at her.
"Well, I'll see you guys later. Keep it classy, Hideyoshi," she says jokingly.
"Hey, when do I not?" Hide replies with a grin.
Kaneki stares at her walk the other direction, still stunned that a girl had given him positive feedback on his reading for the first time.
"Dang, Kaneki, already snagging the ladies, huh? I think she has a crush on you," Hide says in a teasing tone. He wraps an arm around his friend's shoulders.
"That's ridiculous. She's just being nice," Kaneki says quietly.
"No, wait. I have it wrong. You have a crush on her, right?" Hide continues.
Kaneki bonks Hide's head with his book, causing the other to laugh in response. "I swear to god, Hide. Don't even go there."
Hide pouts, bringing on the puppy-dog eyes. "Why are you being so mean, Kaneki? My feelings are hurt!"
"You're being an idiot, that's why."
"Ooh, burn! Where's my ice pack?"
"Today really is Wednesday…" Kaneki sighs at Hide's endless antics.
"Hideyoshi!"
The boys are interrupted by Mei, who comes rushing towards the blond. She stops right in front of him, her cheeks flushed from running.
"Oh, 'sup, Mei," Hide greets her.
"I just want to say, I can't wait to see you again in class! We miss you at the clubs, you know?" she says, grabbing onto his free hand.
Kaneki instinctively moves closer into Hide's arm wrapped on his shoulders when she does so. The club girl pays no mind to him and he's glad for it. His grey eyes burn holes into the hand clinging to Hide's.
Hide shakes his head. "You guys are great without me."
"It's not the same! You make it more exciting!"
"Are you sure I don't make it dumber?"
Kaneki senses himself growing impatient and he begins to step away from Hide. The blond catches onto his body language right away and cuts her off.
"Hey, listen, we'll talk more soon, okay?"
Mei pouts but only for a brief moment as her permanent smile returns and she says a quick farewell before splitting off back to her friends.
Hide scoffs and turns his attention back to his friend. "Such a chatter box, even for me!"
Kaneki frowns. "Then why do you like her?"
Hide's brown eyes regard him for a moment and Kaneki feels nervous under his gaze that seem to know everything about him, no matter if he hides.
"She's actually pretty nice, despite how she carries herself. She's cute too," Hide says in a soft tone.
Kaneki sees Hide focusing on Mei's retreating form as he speaks. He feels Hide's arm beginning to slip away from his body. His hand grasps onto the front of his friend's shirt and Hide looks back down to the half-ghoul in his arm. His grey eyes desperately cling to him and finds relief when Hide's gaze pulls him in and keeps him close.
Kaneki feels hotter than usual when Hide's eyes stray, landing on his lips for a split second. That sly grin slips onto his face when he breaks contact just as fast, leaving Kaneki wondering over the inappropriate thought that crossed his mind from Hide's intent stare.
He swallows the excess saliva collecting in his mouth as the two begin walking down the hall. He can't stop himself.
I wonder how he tastes…
…
"Hey, I gotta go meet with my dad for a bit before I come over. I'll see you real soon, 'kay?" Hide says as he grabs his bike from the rack outside the school.
Kaneki nods with a smile and the blond grins before mounting his bike and riding off in a direction that brings nostalgia to him. His temperament already begins to darken when he starts heading off in the other direction. Back to a place that reminds him of a prison than a home.
He takes as long as possible on his way to his aunt's house, stopping at times to stare off at the sky or the distance. People.
Sometimes, he sees his mom still. In the various older women that pass. In their voices too.
He can't believe he's managed to live with his aunt for three years so far. He can barely remember when his aunt's family acted gracious to him in the very beginning, when he shut down and didn't let anyone in. No one except Hide.
In the end, he and the Asaoka family are strangers.
He catches the sky taking on its orange hue and then forces himself to pick up the pace before he loses track of time. With his stalling, it takes him about an hour before he sees his aunt's home coming into view, along with his cousin, Yuuichi, sitting outside the front door with one of his friends.
He bites his lower lip, his hands gripping his backpack straps. He slowly trudges towards the front door and right away, Yuuichi and his friend look up when they hear his footsteps. Kaneki notices his cousin is playing with his hand-held game console along with the boy next to him. Yuuichi makes eye contact with Kaneki for only a mere second before he whispers something to his friend and the boys then scurry back into the house without another glance.
Kaneki quickly holds the door open before it shuts on him as he finally sets foot into the home. A home that is much bigger and nicer than anything his mother could have afforded when she was still alive. His stomach churns every time he enters. All his mother's money wasted on every valuable possession he sees in this house.
He hears his cousin slamming the door to his room shut. He carefully takes his shoes off at the entrance and makes sure his footsteps are as quiet as possible while he walks further in. To the left of the staircase, he sees the bright, blinking light from the large TV emanating from the living room. He sniffs the air and knows his aunt is currently watching the news. He keeps his eyes on the direction of the living room as he makes his way over to the stairs. Just as he goes up the first few steps, he can barely see his aunt's legs dangling from the couch. Once he's sure she doesn't notice him, or care to, he speeds up the rest of the stairs and towards his room further away from his cousin.
Usually, he feels some sort of relief when he makes it to his own little space in the large house. But this time, something doesn't feel right, especially when he notices his room door is left halfway open. He always leaves his door closed.
His heart begins hammering in his chest and his hand pushes the door aside. His eyes immediately scan his room and as soon as he notices what happened, he drops his backpack to the ground. His mouth goes dry as he breathes heavily in disbelief and his hands reach out to his shelves, which are as bare as bone. All his books, including the ones that belonged to his father, are gone.
He tries to calm himself, but there's no way he can.
He desperately searches his room from top to bottom.
Nothing.
His hands clench and he doesn't stop himself when he exits his room, moving past his cousin who peeks at him in the hallway and down the stairs straight to the living room. He stops when he finds his aunt no longer on her couch. He turns around swiftly, only to find her standing right behind him. He gasps and nearly falls on his bottom. She looks down at him with cold eyes, her arms crossing in an expectant manner.
"Get out of my way, boy," she says. She steps around him to get back on the couch.
He follows her every move as she nonchalantly turns the TV back on. She avoids looking at him.
"Did…did you go into my room?" he asks bluntly. His voice shakes and his hands clench tighter against his sides. He feels he may explode any minute.
She continues to stare at the TV like her mind is controlled by the screen. He grits his teeth, his brows furrowed deeply. He opens his mouth to ask again when she finally cuts in.
"Yes, I did. So, what?" she states. No apparent emotion is written on her face.
"What did you do to my books? They're all gone," he questions.
His patience wears thin. He doesn't care.
When his last few words float in the air, only then does she finally show something. A wide smirk on her face. She's proud of herself and he feels her twisting his heart with that expression of hers. She then meets his eyes and there's nothing but ice in her gaze. Stabbing right through his pupils.
"Books? I threw them out."
She says those words like she is announcing the weather.
His eyes widen in absolute horror and her sly smile spreads. A chuckle escapes her.
"Wh-what? Why?" he begins to shout.
She shrugs and throws her legs up on the coffee table in front of her.
"Your room was such a damn mess. So much clutter. I can't stand for that in my house." She gives him a condescending look. "I took it upon myself to do some late spring cleaning. You should thank me."
Kaneki's mouth stays open in disbelief and he tries to say something more. She smiles at his appalled state and turns her attention back to the TV, flipping to a different channel.
He doesn't stop it. The other side of him takes over his actions next. To her utter shock, he snatches the TV remote out of her hands and shuts her show off. He then tosses the remote to the floor, his pupils constricted as his hard glare sets on her. She gets to her feet in an instant, towering over him.
"Pick that up, boy. How dare you show disrespect to someone who cares for you," she snaps and pushes him back.
"I want to know where my books are. Right now," he demands. His kakugan threatens to make an appearance in front of her.
whydon'tyoukillherkillherkillherkillherkillher
He doesn't recognize the voice speaking in his head.
"I told you, I threw them out. Now do as I say, insolent brat," she continues.
"Why are you doing this to me? What have I ever done to you?" he demands.
Before he realizes he crossed the line, the back of her hand strikes his face and the force turns his head to the other side. The sting of her slap lingers on his skin and his hand grasps his left cheek.
"Shut up. You have no right to speak to me like that," she spits at him. She shoves him back again and he stumbles to the ground.
"Get out of my sight, boy, or I'll hit you harder than your pathetic mother ever could," she threatens.
She walks out of the living room, disappearing into the kitchen. He takes in a sharp breath and pulls himself up. Without another thought, he bolts for the front door, running as far away as possible. He lets his legs control where he goes and his throat feels so tight. He can barely breathe and the hit still resonates throughout his body.
i'msuchaweaklingican'tdoanything
He hears himself beginning to sob and his self-hatred grows stronger.
stopbreathingjustdie
…
"Be careful out there, okay? Have fun with your Kaneki," his father says with a yawn.
Hide nearly spits out his last gulp of water from his cup. "What did you just say? Did you just say, 'your Kaneki'?"
Mr. Nagachika stretches his limbs and smiles. "Maybe. I don't remember."
"You just said it!"
"I'm tired, son. Please let me rest."
Hide shakes his head as he opens the door. "I'll be back in the morning."
"You better," his father hollers as he makes his way to his room.
Hide hops onto his bike and heads down the route he knows by heart to where Kaneki is. He sees that the sun is setting and he hopes he didn't make Kaneki wait too long.
Dad really kept me behind longer than I wanted…
He begins humming a song by the Backstreet Boys to fill the stagnant silence. He looks to his right and spots the old apartment Kaneki used to live in. Further ways down, he then approaches the small park where he had found Kaneki for the first time. A pang of melancholy hits him as he slows down, realizing he and Kaneki hadn't visited this park in a long time, ever since Kaneki's mother passed.
He gets off his bike and wanders towards the park, taking in the new additions to the playground. There's a new swing set and play structure, making this park bigger than when they were younger. As usual, though, around the evening, no child is present.
No one, except…
Next to the good ole sandbox, there is a large, dome-shaped, whale structure that has steel handles on the sides of it so people could climb. Hide scans the stone whale, brown eyes trailing up until he comes upon the person sitting at the top of it. His eyes widen in shock.
"Kaneki…?" he breathes.
Kaneki doesn't hear him. His head is buried in his arms as his knees are tucked to his chest. His face is hidden from view, but right away, Hide knows something bad happened. The blond sets his bike down to the concrete and steps towards his friend, eyes never wavering from him.
"Kaneki!" he yells.
He sees the boy flinch and with hesitance, Kaneki lifts his head. Hide's brows knit in worry when Kaneki reveals his tear-stained face and bloodshot eyes. Automatically, Hide's protective instinct comes into full force and he feels a great energy rising inside him.
"What happened? Who made you cry?" Hide asks. His voice is stern but at the same time, it reveals concern for the half-ghoul.
Kaneki is scared. He shakes his head slowly and holds his knees tighter against him. Hide takes a few more steps forward until he's only a foot away from the whale. He reaches his arms out and his voice is gentle as he speaks.
"Come down, Kaneki. I've got you," he says.
Kaneki unravels himself and scoots to the side where Hide waits. He aims to use the bars to get down, but he pushes himself too far and ends up sliding down too fast. He gasps, thinking he's going to hit the concrete but his breath is knocked from his lungs when Hide's steady arms catch him. As soon as he meets Hide's body, his arms wrap around him instantly, head resting on his shoulder. He feels Hide's breath tickling the side of his neck and a shaky exhale leaves him. His eyes become hot again and everything blurs in his vision. He clings to Hide, letting his body grow heavy against the other.
Kaneki doesn't speak for a while as he quietly lets his pent-up emotions out. Hide feels his right shoulder becoming wet from Kaneki's tears and he tightens his grip on him, wanting to instill his strength into the other. His nose nudges against Kaneki's neck and his frown hardens at how upset his friend is.
His hand strokes his friend's back and he whispers reassurance while Kaneki begins to calm down. As the minutes pass, Hide feels so ready to raise hell.
"Who did it? I swear I'll beat them so hard they won't see daylight for a month," Hide states seriously. His hand grasps the back of Kaneki's head gently, fingers running through the other's black hair.
"Y-You can't…" Kaneki begins to say, his voice hoarse.
"Hell yeah, I can. Remember when I told you I thought kung fu looked awesome? Well, I've secretly been practicing, much to my dad's dismay…"
A short chuckle manages to escape Kaneki as he wipes his nose with his sleeve and Hide grins at that when the half-ghoul pulls back so that they see each other's faces. Hide carefully sets Kaneki down to his feet, though his arms still hold him close.
"You can't, Hide…" Kaneki whispers, his red-rimmed eyes wandering to the side.
Hide's glare hardens and he places a hand on Kaneki's cheek, moving his face so their eyes meet again. "Yes, I can. No one hurts you and gets past me."
Kaneki's watery, grey eyes look so fragile to Hide. The blond's thumb wanders over the other's mouth, grazing over his lips. Soft, pure.
Kaneki's breath is staggered as Hide touches him.
"I'm so angry right now and I don't even know what happened…" Hide mutters his thoughts out loud.
Kaneki feels warmth seeping through his veins. He's hot again, like a sudden fever came on. Hide hypnotizes him, holds him down.
He doesn't know what he does to me…
"My aunt…she…she threw my books away."
Hide's eyes widen. "What? Seriously? All of your books?"
Kaneki nods, biting his lip.
"I don't know what to do. Those books were the only things connecting me to my parents. And…and…"
Kaneki gasps sharply when he realizes something else. His pupils constrict again and he moves to get out of Hide's grasp but the other keeps him locked against him.
"Hide, oh my god...I'm so sorry…" He closes his eyes, shaking his head.
"Sorry? For what? There's nothing to apologize for!" Hide exclaims.
"She threw away your manga too. The ones you let me borrow," Kaneki stated, unwilling to meet Hide's eyes.
Hide brushes that off. "Oh, who gives a damn? That ain't important!"
Kaneki looks up slowly in confusion at Hide's indifference.
Hide smiles warmly. "It's not over, Kaneki. I'll help you get those books back. Tonight. Right now."
Kaneki begins to smile, but his brows still wrinkle in doubt. "But, how? I bet my books are long gone now…"
Hide shakes his head and releases Kaneki. "Nah, I know where they are. Or should be anyway. You know that one time when my dad accidentally threw out one of my textbooks?"
Kaneki nods and Hide continues with a chuckle. "Well, I mean I was happy, but my dad did the research and dragged me to the nearest recycling center like there was no tomorrow. We ended up finding it safe and sound." He laughs again at the memory. "You should have seen my dad. I've never seen him so hellbent on finding a book before. Crazy old man…"
Hide then snaps out of it and takes Kaneki's wrist. "Come on, my dude. Let's go to the recycling center right now!"
"You remember where it is?" Kaneki asks as Hide pulls him towards his bike.
"Yeah, I mean I was forced there so I remember it well. Get on, Kaneki. We'll get there faster than you can say 'hopeless,'" Hide says with a grin. He taps the extra seat on his bike and Kaneki sits behind him without another word.
Once he wraps his arms around Hide's waist, he recalls the first time Hide took him along on his bike and his cheeks warm up. A smile breaks through and the weight on his shoulders lessens.
Hide reaches down, squeezing one of Kaneki's hands resting on his stomach. "Ready?"
Kaneki nods eagerly and Hide pedals forward as the sun continues to set on them.
…
It's dark by the time Hide manages to take them to the same recycling center he had been to with his dad.
Right away, Kaneki watches as Hide doesn't hesitate to sprint straight to the first staff member he sees once they come into view of the facility.
Kaneki runs after Hide and he hears the tail-end of their conversation.
"Books? Do you happen to know what address you're referring to?"
Hide spits out the aunt's address in seconds and the man snaps his fingers when he remembers.
"Oh yeah. It sure was a lot of books we collected from there. Yes, we still have them here."
Hide lets out a cheer and he reaches back to pull Kaneki closer. "Those books are very important to my friend and we need to find them. Can you please take us to them?"
The man looks at both boys and nods. "Please follow me."
The man leads them past various sections of the recycling center, and although Kaneki is eager to find his books, he hasn't seen so many trashed items in his life. Hide keeps grasping Kaneki's hand as the two finally get to the book section.
"Aw, man," Hide says as he takes in how many books they're going to have to sift through.
The man gives a sympathetic smile. "We close at 10 PM so I hope you find those books fast. Good luck."
Kaneki's eyes roam the books and he swallows in apprehension. A hand rubs his back and he looks to his side to see Hide gazing at the mountain in front of them.
"We can do this, Kaneki. I know what your books look like. We've got about two hours so let's go!"
Like he's diving into a pool, Hide jumps forward and disappears within the columns of literature. Kaneki rolls his sleeves up and quickly gets to work as well. Without those books, he feels like half of him is gone so he puts in 110 percent of his focus on the task at hand.
I have to find Hide's manga as well. I have to!
The two boys forget about the time as they scavenge the area like starved survivors looking for supplies. It isn't hard to know where Hide is by the flying books in the air as the blond tosses them out of his way. Kaneki takes a neater approach, setting aside stack after stack. He wipes the sweat from his forehead and as time ticks by, his anxiety increases.
A half hour away from closing time, Kaneki's eyes nearly pop out his sockets when his hands brush upon the cover of Hide's manga. He lets out a gasp when he picks it up and finds the three other manga books he borrowed underneath it.
"H-Hide! I found them!"
Hide's head pops up from the other side of the mountain. "What? Where?" he shouts excitedly. He drops whatever books he has in his hands and skips towards Kaneki.
Kaneki holds up Hide's manga with a grin, but to his surprise, Hide barely pays it any mind, only focusing on the exact spot where Kaneki found them.
"This is great! If you found the manga, that means your books must be nearby!" Hide replies and gets back to work without another glance at the manga.
Kaneki's heart swells at the prospect of finding his books and he follows Hide. This time, it doesn't take the two long until they finally come upon the stacks of Kaneki's books hidden behind three other massive piles.
"Eureka! We found the treasure!" Hide exclaims like he is captain of a ship.
Kaneki places a hand over his mouth and trembles as he grabs one of his books and holds it to his chest. "Oh, thank goodness…I thought I lost you forever dad…" he says quietly, a few happy tears rolling down his cheeks.
Hide watches Kaneki grasping his books tightly like they are his blood and a wave of relief flows through him. He places a warm hand on the top of his friend's head and ruffles the soft, black hair. "I'm so glad…"
Kaneki lifts his head up at Hide and drops his book, throwing his arms around the other's neck in a vice grip. Hide nearly chokes but manages to laugh through Kaneki's tight embrace.
"Thank you, Hide. Thank you so much! I don't know what I would do without you," Kaneki says to him. He pulls back, eyes on Hide's chest before they trail up to meet his brown gaze. His hand lingers on Hide's neck.
"I really mean that…" he says quietly and Hide sees that look in Kaneki's eyes again. The one that makes Hide nervous as Kaneki looks at him like he's so much more than life.
Hide smiles, his hand reaching up to brush Kaneki's bangs aside. "It's nothing. I'm happy when you're happy."
Kaneki's eyes widen at those words and Hide's temperature rises. Hide steps back and scratches the back of his head, breaking eye contact.
Kaneki's mouth drops open and he wants to say more. But he can't.
"Any luck, boys?"
The two are interrupted by the man from earlier, who comes around in the nick of time.
"Success!" Hide replies in excitement while Kaneki holds up one of his books with a wide smile.
"Well, would you look at that. Great job, boys!" the man says with his hands on his hips. The man glances at his watch.
"And you two barely made it. It's closing time now. I'm sure you both will need a ride home with those books. I presume the address you said earlier is the one?"
After expressing their gratitude, the boys waste no time in carrying the books over to the man's pickup truck. The man also helps get Hide's bike into the open trunk and then removes the cap from his head to wipe off his sweat.
"Unfortunately, there's no room in the front where I'll be. You boys don't mind riding along with your stuff, do ya?" the man asks.
Kaneki shakes his head and Hide grins. "It's actually more fun that way. Thanks again," Hide replies.
The man pulls down the front of the trunk, allowing the boys to climb aboard. Hide goes in first and he turns to grab Kaneki's arm to help him up. Once everything is settled, the man starts the truck and they ride off into the late night.
The two of them are seated in a way in which they are facing each other. They don't say anything for the first few moments of the ride. Kaneki grabs one of his books from a stack and brushes his hand over the cover, smiling to himself and opening it to examine the pages. Hide rests on the other side of the truck, his arms splayed against the metal. He leans his head back and enjoys the breeze blowing past his face. The boys jolt up from time to time whenever the truck runs over bumps in the road.
Hide then directs his eyes on his friend, who is already staring back at him. When Kaneki sees Hide looking at him, he quickly turns his gaze down at the book in his lap.
"Does she hit you, like your mom did?"
Kaneki doesn't move an inch, his eyes frozen wide open at his words. His heart beats hard and his fingers clench onto the cover of his book.
Hide's words shoot straight through like an arrow. Of course, he knew. He saw the bruises when he was younger, yet he didn't say anything because he knew it would make him uncomfortable.
Kaneki puts a hand up to his left cheek and Hide narrows his eyes at his action. "It's the first time she hit me…"
Hide leans forward. "I wanted to say something, you know. I hated having to keep quiet…" he admits in a low tone.
Kaneki shuts his eyes. "It's okay, Hide. I'm used to it."
"And you think it's okay to just take it? Well, I can't. I don't like seeing you get hurt." Hide sighs heavily and he clasps his hands together. "I feel powerless…"
"Hide…" Kaneki shakes his head at those words. "You don't even know…"
"I know what you're doing. Don't try and convince me that you're okay-"
"No…" Kaneki crawls over next to Hide and places his hand over Hide's.
"You're the one who has more power than me. You give me strength, Hide. Did you think I could make it this far if you weren't here?"
Hide looks at him solemnly. "I don't know…but…"
Kaneki gently grasps the left side of Hide's face. Hide doesn't move as Kaneki draws closer to his right. He blushes deep red as his eyes close and he presses his lips softly against Hide's cheek. He smells Hide's comforting scent and the rest of his senses are on fire. He thinks he should stop, but he ends up lingering a little longer than he intended before he pulls away. His entire face is pink by the time it's over.
Hide turns to him, his brown eyes glittering in wonder. Kaneki's eyes don't stray from his and Hide feels his insides burn at this rare show of boldness in his friend.
"I'll always be okay when I know you're with me," Kaneki says with a wide smile.
Hide takes in this sight in front of him. His friend's flushed cheeks, genuine smile, grey eyes that tell him something more.
A smirk crosses Hide's lips and his brown eyes darken. "Be careful with what you do with me, Kaneki."
Kaneki's lips part and Hide stares at the action. "What do you mean?" he asks and Hide can tell he's playing innocent.
Kaneki yelps in surprise when Hide throws himself at him, pushing him down. Kaneki shuts his eyes momentarily and when he opens them, Hide's body is lying on top of his. Their legs are intertwined and when Hide leans closer, their chests press together. Hide holds himself up with his arms on either side of Kaneki's head.
Kaneki can barely breathe as Hide stares down at him with a look in his eyes that makes Kaneki unbearably hotter than ever. He's still flushed all over and it worsens when Hide trails his fingers down from his mouth, to his chin, and to his neck.
"H-Hide…" he whispers between breaths.
Hide lowers himself and Kaneki's heart beats so loud it deafens his ears. The blond stops so that his face is a mere inch from his. But before Kaneki could react, Hide opts to rest his head onto his chest, listening to the drumming his heart plays.
"Be careful with what you're getting into."
Hide's voice is deeper than usual as he speaks.
Kaneki's heart refuses to calm down. His eyes focus on the top of Hide's head, the other's face hidden from his point of view. His hands run through and stay in the blond, messy hair.
He doesn't want to play it safe.
…
Kaneki relishes the look of pure shock on his aunt's face when he and Hide stand in front of her door as she opens it. Kaneki's books are displayed right in the middle of them, like a literal slap to her face.
"Well, ma'am. Would you look at that? We found all of Kaneki's books. And guess what?" Hide states with no fear. His hands rest on his hips with the most confidence Kaneki has seen in his friend.
She narrows her eyes in annoyance at his loud voice.
"You threw my books out too with all of his, ya know? If it wasn't for our hard work, my father wouldn't be too pleased knowing I lost those books for good. He'd definitely demand for payback. In cash," Hide says with a cheeky grin, his fingers rubbing together in her face.
She scoffs and pushes his hand away. She keeps her arms crossed and Hide's face turns serious.
"I want you to apologize to your nephew. Now," Hide commands.
She glares at Hide but gives in when she notices the dark look in Hide's eyes. Her scowl deepens and she doesn't spare Kaneki a glance as she mutters a flippant apology.
"And if you throw his books out again, you know that I'm going to find them every time," Hide adds with a mocking shrug of his shoulders.
"Get out of my face, boy. I don't care. Just do whatever," she finally spits back and then stomps away into her house.
Kaneki gawks at his friend in awe and Hide beams at him. "You're not going to lose these again, buddy."
"Hide…" Kaneki says. His books pale in comparison to the boy next to him. He steps closer, his hands reaching up to clasp Hide's face.
Hide continues to grin brighter than the sun and Kaneki moves closer so that their noses touch. He doesn't care if his cousin or aunt sees him touching his friend.
On that night, Kaneki knows for sure that he can never love another person as much as he loves Hide.
He is thirteen when he seals a vow to himself. A vow that no matter the circumstance, his heart, body, and soul belong to Hide only.
*The scenario of Kaneki's aunt throwing away his books and Hide helping Kaneki to get them back is based on one of the chapters from the official novel called Tokyo Ghoul: Past. Otherwise, everything else comes from moi. Thanks for the support so far! :)