Chapter 12: Family
P O V: Matt Casey
"Yo dude chill," Severide chased me down after I stormed out of the room my mind was racing with a million and one thoughts, anger rushing through my blood. "Calm down for a minute Casey talk to me what's going on?" Breathe Matt, breathe shaking my arms out as I pace back and forth. I tried to slow my breathing down, the fast paced angry pants were making my neck and head squeeze tight.
"The test results came back Kelly, I am a near perfect match for Sylvie," His face lit up "Matt that's amazing, so what is the issue?" "Natalie said there is almost no way for that to happen for non-relations." His face showed confusion. "It means or I think it means that someone has been lying to me, Sylvie was adopted she doesn't know her biological parents, that means she must be my sister, but how by who?"
"Shit man that's deep, breathe Matt breathe" he tosses me a water which I gulp down. "Okay I get it your pissed but calm down before you charge after your mom, think logically man I get it your hopes are sky high, you miss having a sister your relationship with Christie is shit, you get along with Sylvie so this would be the perfect fit, but what are the real chances of you two being related?" "She has my chin, my family nose, those dimples," "Are you seeing reality or what your mind wants to see? You've known her for years, you never noticed these things before, why now?"
He made fairly good points pounding my back he squeezed my elbow. "Go back inside get some sleep, wait for Sylvie to wake up ask her for a DNA test, go from there." "This isn't going to be easy fuck, why is this happening?" "It isn't for us to know Matt, we may never know why the rain falls on the just and unjust, it may not be for us to know, that's why he is up there, at the end though this is good news, your a match Matt."
Right again I am a match that is what counts we headed back inside gulping down some more water. I return to Sylvie's room, she still remains unconscious no signs of waking up. Gabby rises to meet me her eyes questioning and worried. "No worries Severide talked me out of a jail sentence," She smiled sadly. "My mom is bringing Brent down she says he's been throwing a fit all day, he wants to see Sylvie he won't eat or do his homework unless he see's her, who wants to tell him he can't babe?" Great just want I want to do tell my five year old son he can't see the women who's saved his life countless times.
The ICU won't allow any kids under 13 inside to see the patients, it makes sense since kids are loud and won't stay still and the patients in that unit are really sick and need rest, it doesn't make it easy when you have to explain to a child why they can't see someone they love. Someone who has been apart of their daily lives since birth.
One look at Gabby I can see how exhausted and scared she is "I'll tell him," she relaxes a little "thank you my love," going over to her I hug her both of us stay in that hug for longer than what we probably should of. Being this close to her reminds me just how much I love her, why I fell for her in the first place. Her breath is warm against my check her heart flutters as I simply touch her warm check. "You don't have to be strong all the time Gabby, it's okay to not be okay,"
She remains silent just laying against my chest, I listen to her breathing. I curse myself silently for being so stupid stubborn to letting her go. Gently I rub her back hearing her sniffle, taking deep breaths. Wiping her tears I kiss her check "Matt..." Her voice is heavy as she looks up "Yes honey?" "I'm sorry about everything our fight leaving, for being so pig headed, I love you," her lips press against mine, for a moment I can't breathe or think all I can do is taste, inhale her delicious scent.
"Daddy's kissing mommy!" we break apart in record speed my head spinning why did she kiss me? Did she want to get back together? Was it just for comfort was she confused? My own breathing is hinged as I look up to see Shay and Brent standing there, Shay's eyes avoid looking at us our son however was filled with excitement great another bad thing I would have to break to him. Mommy and daddy are not getting back together.
Going over to them I hug Shay who squeezes me tighter she seems extra tired, she looks like she's lost weight. Brent holds open his arms for me grinning as I pick him up, almost as soon as he squeals a nurse looks over at us rushing towards us. "I'm sorry sir but there are absolutely no children under 13 allowed in here, we have very sick patients here, we have no time for children and their antics."
Shay ushers me out before I can respond however I wonder who's going to stop Gabby. She leads us to a conference room down the hall. "Daddy when can I see Aunt Sylvie? I have to show her our paper!" setting him down on the table I can't help but stare at my gorgeous son. His blond hair still sun soaked from the beach in summer time it's shining a brilliant distraction against the harsh lights of the hospital. His green eyes are sparkling in delight something I haven't seen associated with school in ages.
"What project dude?" 'This!" He holds up the English paper from a week ago that Sylvie and him had worked on in the doctors office. On the top is a big thumbs up with Miss. Tate's writing on top "Rocking To the Top 100%" she drew little musical notes on the bottom. Gasping I was filled with so much pride, "100 Brent that is amazing!" he held up his hand to high-five me. His smile went from ear to ear. "I am so proud of you son," "thanks dad, when can I tell Aunt Sylvie?" Now here comes the hard part. "Brent do you remember how we talked after aunt Sylvie fainted?" he nodded sitting up straighter "Yes you said she was sleeping that her body needed rest," "I did correct Brent well her body is still resting,"
He bit his lip trying to figure out how to ask the next question "What is making aunt Sylvie so sick dad is it the leukemia?" "Yes son but there is more, do you remember when you were three and you got rushed to the ICU?" he nodded sucking on the ice-pop Shay had come back with. "I had too many white cells, they called it leu-ko-cytes?" "That's correct, do you remember what happened how they treated it?" "yea high dose Chemo the yucky medicine that made me throw up,"
"That's correct their doing the same for aunt Sylvie but it's a little more complicated because Aunt Sylvie has a baby in her stomach, if they give her too much too fast her baby could miscarry," "Do you know what that means?" "he nods "it means her baby will go to heaven he will be God with Capri and Aunt Hailey," I am amazed again by my son's depth of understanding of death and his illness. "I miss Aunt Hailey, I hate that she died, I don't want Aunt Sylvie to die to,"
"That's why the doctors are trying so hard to do is to save her." "I get it daddy when the medicine works aunt Sylvie will wake up, I hope they hurry I need my aunts in my life," I couldn't agree more "do you have homework today buddy?" "Yes spelling uh," "Let's start buddy mommy will be out soon,"
He got out his work book as Shay got up to meet her son who was coming off the elevator. "You want anything Matt? Coffee, food?" "I'm alright right now thanks Shay, maybe something for little man," he shock his head "I'm good daddy thank you aunt Shay."
"Okay let's spell buddy," he handed me the paper and got out a clean sheet "Spell Rain," his hand went slow as his he thought about each letter. "Say them out loud if it helps "What was the word again daddy?" "Rain," he bit his lip it worried me he had so many issues trying to spell easy words like rain, yet he could remember a word like leukocytes.
Cancer I wanted to rip it out of the damn universe. For ten more minutes we worked on words like cat, fat, star, jar, clot, mop. I only looked up when I saw Gabriela and Dr. Rene come inside. Instantly I became worried, Shay came back along with Cashel. She took the boys to the far end of the room as Dr. Rene came over with Gabby who took my hands squeezing them, god she is ice cold.
"Matt, Gabby I am glad I caught you, I just got back the results of Brent's tests," her words stopped me cold. I had forgotten about them normally Gabby and I spend all week worrying fearing this week had been so crazy we haven't thought twice about it. I glance back at our son he looks so healthy so happy he has to be alright.
I can't tell by her voice or her mannerism what she is about to say, all I can do is pray silently closing my eyes. Which is funny because I have never been real religious. Growing up my family didn't go to church we didn't prey at night or before meals or at all. It wasn't till I met Gabby that praying even crossed my mind, her will power in god is inspiring we started going to church together when she became pregnant with Brent because she wanted him to have a base of faith. Still even she isn't as devoted as Herrman who after Brent was diagnosed with cancer and the same when Sylvie was first told, he went from cursing god one minute to threatening before falling to his knees asking for forgiveness, apologizing.
"I'm sorry guys but Brent's results show he is heading for a relapse. We're seeing Blasts in his bone marrow. We need to hospitalize him and start planning our next course of treatment immediately."
It's really hard to describe the feeling that immediately follows finding out that your child has cancer. It doesn't make it any easier if it's the first time, second or in his case fifth time. It felt like the floor had fallen away and that the whole fabric of reality was unraveling. I have long understood that denial is an automatic response that takes over to protect us from being overwhelmed when we encounter some unacceptable aspect of reality. I guess that was what was going on, nothing seems real. No this can't be real it's not him that has this awful disease. I must have the cancer that would be OK he can't have cancer. Oh, God NO, please, this can't be real. This can't be real. This can't..… it is Matt breathe you have to focus he needs you, Gabby's scream tore me back to reality, her knees gave out quickly I threw my arms out cashing her as I heard Brent yell. "Mommy are you okay? Mommy what is going on?"
He jumped up rushing over throwing his arms over Gabby's shoulders "Mommy don't cry, mommy it's going to be okay," he looked to Dr. Renee his face serious his eyes squinting as he studied her face. "It's back isn't it? My Leukemia that's why mommy is sad, and daddy looks pissed."
She nodded getting down onto the floor with him as Gabby held him tightly. Rocking his body her tears falling fast as she kept repeating "My boy, my precious baby boy," "Mommy I will be okay please do not be sad, I beat this monster before, I will be triumph again." he turned to Dr. Renee "I have to go into the hospital tonight don't I?" she nodded smiling a bit as he sat in her lap. "Can I share a room with Aunt Sylvie?" "Sweetie I wish but she's in ICU, you have to go to the pediatric floor," he let out a deafening scream jumping up "No! No! I have to be with aunt Sylvie!"
Nothing any of us could do calmed him down our sweet boy kicked bit screamed his face going red as he threw himself down on the ground in a full fledged temper tantrum. Till Dr. Renee grabbed him pulling him into her lap "Brent sweetie let's make a deal," "No! No deal I want Aunt Sylvie," "Okay Brent if you calm down baby. I will let you stay the night with Aunt Sylvie, I'll talk to the nurse's so they know it's okay, but tomorrow you have to go to the Pediatric oncology unit, than when Sylvie is awake and better, will get you a room together down there." "When will she be better?" "Hopefully soon, I'm going to show you her charts can you be a good boy and be calm?" he sniffled nodding.
She opened her charts "Do you see these numbers? These were Sylvie's white cells when she was brought in last week, the day she fainted. 10,00 do you know what that number means?" he nodded "That's the normal white cell range for adults," "Correct babe," She ruffled his hair kissing his check. His finger followed the chart "She was up to 13,000, than by the time she passed out it was 15,000. Now she's down to almost 10,000 again, so the chemo is working," "Yes darling it is hopefully she will wake up soon,"
"She will cause I will talk to her, we're kindred spirits, she'll listen to me just like I listened to her when I was in my coma two years ago" Gabby and I shared a look how did he remember that? Shay squeezed my hand telling me by touch to let it go till another time. "Can mommy stay tonight to?" "Sure baby, why don't you two go get settled I'll talk to the charge nurse,"
He ran to me hugging me "daddy It'll be okay I love you, don't be sad, Sylvie and I will both be okay," so will my baby cousin, Mommy will Diego and Eva come see me soon?" Gabby bit her lip looking at us none of us had any word on their whereabouts. "Sure as soon as they can sweetie, let's go see Aunt Sylvie."
She took his hand as he turned to wave to Shay and Cashel. "Take care of my mommy auntie Shay. Cash, come visit me," "You got it dude, don't forget nurse Rylee is mine, you can have nurse Aislinn and nurse Aoife," Both boys laughed as they name the nurse on the pediatric oncology floor who they thought were cute. "I'll be by tomorrow and will super soak them,"
"Yes!" Brent pumped his arm back laughing as he skipped down the hall. Taking my heart with him. "Shay let's make a stop at the Chapel," She smiled "Going to pray for Brent, Sylvie and Eva and Diego?" "Yeah God can't ignore all these prayers forever, he'll keep our family safe."
Won't he? All I want is to take my beautiful boy home pretend this disease doesn't exist but it's not reality is if I take him home, he'll die within months, so once again I have to trust my son and now possibly my sister to doctors. At least I know everyone here at Med their in good hands, I just need Sylvie to wake up once she is will get a DNA test. If she's my sister so help me god I will stop at nothing to protect her and my son. No matter the cost. Family is everything to me.
A/ N: Thanks to everyone who is reading and taking the time to review. Love hearing feedback. Who's excited for the return of One Chicago this week? I know I am! Hit me up mileycfan4eva on twitter for updates or just to chat, Tattooed4uariandliz on IG. Have a great week everyone stay safe if your in the eye of any winter storms.