"Of course they saw something, you were inside me when they barged in!" Sakura growled through clenched teeth as she aggressively finished putting on her fake beard. Prior to this evening, she'd never thought one could put on a beard aggressively, but she was determined to try. She couldn't believe that she and Kakashi had been so stupid as to have sex in a semi-public place without making sure the door was locked. "The owner was right there... and that creepy queen behind him who looked like a doll! I don't even know who she was!" Sakura cried mournfully.

It had only been a few minutes since they'd been interrupted while in a very compromising position, and Sakura wasn't even close to being over it. Still, they had a mission to do, and that mission required them to be in drag, so while Sakura yelled at Kakashi, they both scrambled to get ready.

"It's not that bad," Kakashi said soothingly as he reached into one of the bags they'd brought and pulled out two ankle holsters designed to hold kunai. Letting them dangle by their straps, he hoisted his skirt up and crouched in front of her. Sakura let her eyes linger on the way the muscles in his thighs shifted, but it wasn't long before she was off on her rant again.

"Weren't you the last one through the door, anyway?" she pointed out as Kakashi tugged up one of the legs of her pinstriped pants to begin attaching one of the holsters to her ankle. "You should have locked it, I—"

Sakura broke off into a yelp as Kakashi's teeth sank into her thigh. Glaring down at him, she accused, "You just bit me!"

"Yes," Kakashi said, his eyes closing in a beaming smile.

"You can't just bite me when I'm yelling at you!" she sputtered, attempting to ignore the thread of desire she felt from the way his fingers lingered on her ankle. What the hell was wrong with her? They had literally just had sex! And been caught!

"Did you not like it?" he asked, his voice dropping a little lower.

"I—damn it, that's beside the point!" Sakura said, feeling her face—and maybe a few other places—get hotter. "We need to focus on the mission!"

Chuckling quietly, no doubt at her clumsy change of subject, Kakashi finished attaching the first holster and pulled her pant leg down before moving to her other ankle. However, he apparently decided to forgo any further teasing, because as he strapped on the second holster, he said, "According to the intel, Kizuato, the target, gets to his compound by teleporting. Now that we've been invited to the compound, our job is to get in, use this scroll"—here, he tapped a small scroll that was strapped in beside her kunai—"to summon one of Sai's ink mice, and then wait for backup to arrive and secure the targets." He gave her a mischievous smile. "Bonus points if we have them disarmed by the time they arrive."

Sakura looked at him with suspicion. "By bonus points, do you mean that's not actually part of the mission, and you added that part yourself?"

Finishing strapping the second holster to her other leg, Kakashi finally stood, grinning a little as he began to look in the bag again. "Maybe."

Sakura couldn't help but smile at him a little in response. He could be so irritating and charming at the same time—but the charming part always won out. She watched as he drew a narrow silk scarf out of the bag. He considered it for a moment, ultimately sticking it down the front of his dress, making good use of the canyon between his fake breasts. Brows raising slightly, Sakura asked, "Aren't you going to bring any actual weapons?"

"I'll be fine," Kakashi replied in an unconcerned tone. Turning to face her, Kakashi leaned toward her until his face was right in front of hers, their noses almost touching. His hand rose just far enough to settle at her waist, and in that soft, low voice that she liked so much, he said, "How's my makeup?"

"It's good," Sakura answered breathlessly, because she was a weak, weak woman. Some small, clinically insane part of her brain started to think that, really, they'd already been caught, and all she wanted was a kiss—

"Time to go!" Kakashi chirped as he abruptly straightened, smoothing his fringed dress as he checked his reflection one last time in the mirror before striding toward the door.

Sakura blinked and then scowled at his back. He absolutely did these things just to get a rise out of her. She was about to call after him how much she hated him, but he turned just enough to flash her a sparkly wink over his shoulder and a warm rush of affection moved through her—maybe something even more than affection. She definitely didn't hate him.

The jerk.

Sai lingered silently by the doors that led backstage, inwardly perking when he saw Kakashi and Sakura finally appear. They were soon joined by one of the target's men, and the three of them headed toward the exit. After a few moments, Sai moved to follow.

As he passed the bar, Sai noticed the man who had approached him earlier turning away from the bar with a drink in his hand. Upon noticing Sai, the man made a face that made it look like he'd swallowed something unpleasant, and then abruptly walked in the other direction. Shrugging, Sai closed the rest of the distance to the exit and stepped out into the night.

Once outside, Sai turned just in time to see Kakashi and Sakura following Kizuato's men down a dark alley. By the time he'd arrived there himself, all Sai saw was a puff of smoke as the three ninja vanished. Sai halted, nodding to himself—they'd expected that the target would use a transportation scroll to get them to the compound. Now all there was left to do was to change back into his shinobi gear, rendezvous with the waiting ANBU team, and wait for the ink mouse to bring him back to the compound.

As he made his way to the rendezvous point, Sai contemplated how good it would feel to change out of this outfit and get back into his usual clothes. Still, he mused, he hadn't missed the contemplative look Ino had gotten when she'd fitted him for the outfit. He could be wrong—he often was—but he thought that maybe she'd liked him in the sapphire-colored dress. The more he thought about it, the more he thought that he should keep it, rather than throwing it away.

It could come in handy.

Once Sakura, Kakashi, and their unnamed escort teleported and appeared in what seemed to be the foyer of Kizuato's compound, they were swept away to meet him personally. Sakura managed to slip into a bathroom long enough to pull out the tiny scroll she'd been given. Opening it, she'd used her chakra to bring to life the small drawing of a mouse that lay inside, and it immediately sprang off the page and then out the bathroom's small window. Knowing that the mouse would find Sai and bring him and the ANBU squads, Sakura left the bathroom, satisfied that the mission would be over soon. After all, the cheap teleportation scroll that had brought them there couldn't have transported them very far—it wouldn't take long for backup to find them.

Sakura rejoined Kakashi, and they were both led from the foyer into a much larger room obviously meant for entertainment. The room was filled with a dozen low-level ninja—judging by their weapons and the fact that they weren't identifiable from any of the Bingo Books—as well as a scattering of unarmed civilians, some in drag and others in regular club attire.

Kizuato stood toward the center of the room like a king lording it over his court. He had looked so intimidating in the low lights of the club, the occasional strobe throwing his scarred face into harsh relief, but here in the soft lighting of his compound, he looked... unimpressive. His face put him somewhere between Kakashi and Sakura's ages, and if you took away the three stripes of scar tissue across his cheek, he looked unassumingly boyish.

Eyeing him, Sakura remembered that he'd only ever reached chuunin level, according to his dossier—a fact that made her that much more positive that Naruto had sent them on this mission for no reason other than to punish them. There was no way that shinobi as powerful as her and Kakashi were needed to bring down this small-time loser.

Still, it was hard to be mad at Naruto when the amusing sight of Kakashi in drag stood before her as he paraded around like a peacock, tossing his silver wig with each coquettish giggle. He seemed to be handling the crowd well, so Sakura let him take the lead. She accepted a drink from one of Kizuato's men and followed as Kakashi began to flirt his way toward Kizuato himself. The men that Sakura had assumed were low-level ninja weren't wearing any hitae-ate, not even scratched-out ones to denote them as missing-nin, so she wasn't too worried about them.

As they finally reached the center of the room where Kizuato stood, one of the men tried to sling his arm around Kakashi's waist. Kakashi responded by plucking the man's arm off of him with two fingers, like he was holding a bug, and said, "Oh no, darling, I'm a high-class lady." Leaning in, he fixed the man with a disdainful stare. "That means I have a no-touching policy when it comes to henchmen." Straightening, he gave a sparkly wink to Kizuato. "Leaders, however..."

Sakura accidentally let out an amused snort at watching Kakashi being all twinkly and flirtatious, and he gave her a hard look as Kizuato looked at her quizzically. Kakashi clearly didn't think that laughing at the situation was conducive to whatever he had planned, but Sakura decided to lean into it and said in an amused tone, "Setsuko, you really are a slut."

Kakashi recovered instantly, loftily replying, "You say that like it's a bad thing," as he turned his full attention back to Kizuato, his gaze purposefully smoldering.

It seemed to work, because Kizuato held out his hand with a dark smirk, saying, "It's definitely not a bad thing."

Kakashi's painted lips quirked into a pleased smile as he lowered his head and positively stalked toward Kizuato, and Sakura subtly shifted her weight to the balls of her feet. They didn't actually have to do anything more than they already had—after all, their main job had just been to infiltrate the compound so that they could lead an ANBU contingent there—but from the predatory look on Kakashi's face, Sakura guessed that he felt like going above and beyond the mission parameters.

When Kakashi reached Kizuato, he ignored his extended hand and instead trailed his fingertips up his arm. As he reached his shoulder, there was a flash of silver curls and sparkles as, in a blur of motion, Kakashi whipped the long, narrow scarf out of his cleavage. With the ends wrapped around his hands, Kakashi threw the scarf over Kizuato's head and then pulled it tight, and Kizuato gave a startled yelp that was quickly ended by the silk around his throat.

There was a beat of shocked silence, and then a lot of things happened at once. Several of the low-level nin that surrounded Kizuato tensed and drew kunai. Sakura, ignored, crouched low enough to be able to reach for the kunai at her ankles. As the men began to creep toward Kakashi and Kizuato, Kakashi yanked him back by his throat, and Sakura heard him murmur, "Konoha sends its regards."

Whatever he said next was too low for Sakura to hear, but whatever it was must have been convincing, because Kizuato went still and then croaked out a panicked, "Wait!"

Kizuato's men all froze, and Sakura slowly rose to her feet, a kunai in each hand.

"Don't do anything! He's gonna kill me!" Kizuato managed to get out, his airway obviously being compromised by the scarf.

"He's right," Kakashi said pleasantly, not even slightly relaxing his hold on the silk, and Sakura couldn't help but notice how nice his arms looked when they were tensed like that. As if reading her mind, Kakashi's eyes flickered briefly toward hers, and Sakura cleared her throat in embarrassment.

The men glanced at each other. Sakura narrowed her eyes. Kakashi pulled the scarf just the tiniest bit tighter. Kizuato turned a darker shade of red.

Finally, the man who'd tried to put his arm around Kakashi earlier spoke up and said, "Fuck this. I don't know who these assholes are, but what are some drag queen"—he pointed at Kakashi, then yanked a thumb toward Sakura—"and this skinny little excuse for a drag king supposed to—"

His voice was cut off abruptly as Sakura's fist collided with his jaw, sending it snapping shut as he was knocked off his feet and into the man behind him.

As both ninja hit the ground, Kakashi tightened his hold on Kizuato even further. Kizuato squeaked and a wet spot began to spread over his crotch, and the rest of his men seemed to wilt. At that moment, the doors sprang open and two four-man ANBU teams, led by Sai, streamed into the room.

Sakura heard mumbles of things like "Konoha" and "ANBU" and "shit" around her as Kizuato's men all dropped their weapons and raised their hands. Kakashi finally relaxed his hold on the silk he'd wrapped around Kizuato's neck, and Kizuato coughed roughly, gasping for air. He didn't even try to fight as one of the ANBU agents approached to cuff him.

"A more-or-less bloodless victory," Sai said with calm approval as he approached them. Pausing, he tilted his head as he looked at them—Kakashi in all his shimmering silver glory, and Sakura with her magenta beard and snazzy suit. Sai's eyes held what Sakura thought was a glint of mischief as he blandly pointed out, "Lots of people at home would love to see you like this."

Sakura frowned. "If you tell anyone—"

Kakashi interrupted, his eyes narrowed as he stared closely at Sai. "Are you wearing eyeliner?"

Sai stiffened slightly, and quickly—but still calmly—said, "Anyway, we'll take it from here. I suspect you both would like to leave and change before anyone else sees you."

Kakashi still looked slightly suspicious, but neither of them argued with Sai's logic. They both turned to leave, and Sakura paused to prod Kizuato, who now sat prone and cuffed on the floor. He definitely didn't look cool now.

"What a loser. Some guys think being mysterious and having a scar is replacement for an actual personality," she said amusedly as she joined Kakashi in walking away.

Kakashi paused slightly and gave her a similar narrow-eyed look to the one he'd given Sai, and Sakura was, of course, reminded of the scar that lay beneath his expertly-applied makeup.

Sakura grimaced. "Not you, of course. You have tons of personality," she amended weakly.

"Right," Kakashi said, sounding like he didn't believe her. Mercifully not waiting for her to say anything else stupid, he said, "Let's get the hell out of here."

He didn't have to tell her twice.

A/N: There's all that pesky mission stuff out of the way! Now we're in the homestretch, with two chapters left, and everything's about to come to a head! See you next time!