The noon sun is unforgiving, beating down on his already sunburnt skin. He exhales deeply and wipes the sweat from his forehead against the back of his hand and off his neck. It's bright outside, hot and full of energy. A summer day in full swing as June kicks in.
His mind doesn't match. He feels drained.
There's a nagging headache that comes and goes, bugging him like the thoughts of earlier. Why is it that when he's finally happy, truly happy, it's when the energy is stolen out of him.
He can't let anyone know he feels this way. To everyone, he's cheerful and light-hearted. Just like the hot sun. Like the rays that never seem to die.
That's what he's good at, after all. No one expects anything more from him.
Except maybe one.
When he sees him, time stops, and he can't focus on anything else. His mind clears as he takes in the black-haired boy waiting for him in front of Anteiku. He admires him, the way he looks nervous. His grey eyes trained on his shoes as he kicks at the ground. The way he bites his lip. He smiles and forgets about the other thoughts dragging him down.
Kaneki looks up at him when he hears his footsteps approaching and, in an instant, the half-ghoul's face lights up. Once more, Hide's breath ceases and he blinks. The smile on the other's face is bigger and brighter than ever, the happiest he's seen his best friend.
He is the cause of this? He is the one that makes Kaneki happy?
I'm dreaming. Ever since I left his aunt's house that day, I'm still dreaming.
He remembers how he rebelled, as usual, and stayed with Kaneki that whole night. Lying by his side, with the half-ghoul clinging to him like he's the weight keeping him on earth. The content expression on the boy's face. The cuts that were fresh but could not compare to the intensity of adoration in those grey eyes.
He chose me? I'm fucking dreaming.
"Hide!"
Kaneki says his name breathlessly and throws himself into the blond's arms. He nuzzles his head against Hide's chest, closing his eyes and soaking in the other's body heat. It's hot, but he needs Hide's warmth. He finds he'd rather be overheated than frozen.
Kaneki lifts his head after a few minutes, staring up at the brown eyes he's addicted to. "Hi," he says simply with a beam.
Hide finds himself chuckling. The boy is too adorable, even more so when he's happy. One of his hands lifts off the other's waist to brush the bangs framing the right side of Kaneki's face.
"Sorry to keep you waiting," he says softly.
Kaneki pulls away but grips Hide's left hand. His radiant smile doesn't disappear.
"Hide, I'd always wait for you."
Hide grins as Kaneki begins blushing at what he just said. "Aww, you cheeseball!" He then grabs Kaneki's head, drawing him closer and pressing his lips hard against his temple.
Kaneki laughs in response and his eyes sparkle as they lock gazes. Hide's heart beats harder and he reminds himself to keep breathing.
As he walks side by side with his friend, their sweaty palms interlocked so tightly, he glances at Kaneki and takes in every detail of his joy. Kaneki's hand fits with his so well, and the half-ghoul never loosens his grip.
Hide wants this to last forever. This is all he wants, for his best friend to stay at peace.
He can't let his stupid problems get in the way.
He can handle it.
…
"You're okay? Replenished yourself and everything?" he asks Kaneki as they wait in line in front of an ice cream truck with a small crowd.
Kaneki chuckles and squeezes Hide's hand. "I'm fine. You don't have to worry about me. I've never been better."
Hide runs a hand through his messy hair. "Please, I always have to worry. I can't help it."
Kaneki stares at the bead of sweat rolling down the side of Hide's jaw and he swallows. His pupils dilate and as Hide brushes aside the blond locks sticking to his forehead, his pulse rises.
Hide's scent is thick and the only thing filling his senses, despite how many other humans were around them. He feels so high. His head spins and he doesn't mind.
He's mine. All mine.
His fingers glide up Hide's bare arm, feeling the moisture and eying the flushed color marring his flesh.
"Does it hurt?" Kaneki finds himself saying out loud as he touches Hide's sunburns.
Hide's brows furrow at his sudden statement but when he looks down to where Kaneki's eyes are focused, he waves it aside. "Nah, not really. It stings but it's nothing."
"You need to be careful. You're not using sunscreen, are you?" Kaneki asks him with that incredulous tone.
Hide smiles at Kaneki's motherly concern. "No, guess I forgot. I get so caught up in things…I don't really think about myself…"
The way Hide says those last few words strikes something in Kaneki. Somehow, the blond sounds distant to him. He doesn't look him in the eye.
He wants to say more. He senses something off about his friend, and it's made clearer as Hide remains silent and his gaze stays forward.
"Did you want any ice cream?" Hide asks him as he nears the front of the truck.
"No, I'm good," Kaneki replies.
Hide narrows his eyes with a silly pout. "Hmm, I'm gonna get double scoops then. We'll share it."
Kaneki shakes his head slightly at Hide's persistence and walks over to one of the few benches nearby. He chooses an empty one closest to the shade of trees lining the small park with a water fountain in the center, where other people are seated. He sighs when he sits down, feeling a brief gust of wind blowing past, and then he looks towards where Hide stands.
He can't stop smiling these days. So, this is how it feels to love someone, and for that love to be returned. He can't believe it, after all those years of wondering and doubt.
He makes me want to live.
In the next few minutes, Hide comes to his side in a flash, a chocolate and strawberry ice cream cone in his grasp.
"Ha-ha! Look what I have. Two scoops, my dude. Want to taste first?" Hide says with a grin. He plops himself close next to Kaneki, his arm resting on the back of the bench behind Kaneki's shoulders.
"You go first," Kaneki urges him.
Hide rolls his eyes playfully and obliges, his tongue running slowly along the chocolate and strawberry dessert. Kaneki bites his lower lip, his eyes too intent on the action.
Hide hums in pleasure. "Dang, this is refreshing. Not to mention, tasty!"
"Oh? Let me try."
Just as Hide begins to push the cone towards his friend, Kaneki moves his hand under Hide's chin, his fingers tickling the skin there. Hide barely breathes when Kaneki's lips brush onto his, his tongue prodding at his mouth. Hide parts his lips, allowing Kaneki's tongue to slip through and tangle with his. Kaneki's hand is gentle under his chin and he feels Kaneki breathing hard against his mouth, his hot tongue taking in the taste of him before he withdraws.
Kaneki is flushed in the face as he licks his lips. Hide's eyes are intense on him and Kaneki smiles shyly.
"Delicious…" he whispers. Hide's cheeks redden in response.
"Damn…I think I like this side of you," Hide replies with a smirk.
He keeps his eyes locked with his friend's gaze as he takes another mouthful of ice cream. Kaneki grins and swoops in again, his tongue running greedily on Hide's sugary lips. His arms wrap around Hide's waist to bring him closer. Kaneki chews on Hide's bottom lip and pulls slightly, causing them both to laugh as Kaneki continues to press his mouth on Hide's over and over.
Hide grins against Kaneki's lips and their eyes meet. Kaneki moves back, but only slightly, and he stares at Hide with all his feelings bursting forth from his heart. Hide's wide grin fades to one that is soft and warm. He can never get used to the way Kaneki looks at him.
Kaneki smiles at his lover once more before he opts to cling to Hide's left arm, his head resting comfortably against his shoulder. Hide enjoys the warmth of his friend and continues eating the ice cream that begins to melt down his fingers.
His grey eyes wander to Hide's hand between their thighs and his fingers touch the veins that pop out on top of it. Automatically, their hands interlock and Kaneki turns his head up to see Hide looking out into the distance with a serious tint to his gaze. Kaneki is reminded of his inkling feeling before and he pushes himself to ask.
"Are you okay, Hide?"
Hide blinks out of his daze and he looks down at his friend. "Huh? Of course, I am. Why do you ask?"
Kaneki's black hair tickles Hide's skin as his head moves. "Well, you're always asking how I'm doing, so I should do the same."
Hide chuckles and he leans his cheek on the top of Kaneki's head briefly. "I'm fine. I'm here with you and that makes it all better."
"Are you sure?" Kaneki asks.
"You think I'm lying?" Hide replies with a slight frown.
"No…but you know you can always tell me anything." Kaneki lifts his head to look at his friend. "I just sense something…I feel like you're hiding something from me…"
Hide doesn't conceal the melancholy in his eyes and Kaneki doesn't shy away as he waits patiently.
Hide smiles and shakes his head. "It's nothing big. It's my problem, really."
"Well, your problems are my problems. What's going on?" Kaneki presses.
Hide takes another bite of the ice cream that's nearly finished. "It's just my dad. He's being an ass, as usual."
"What do you mean?"
"I guess he's stressed with work. And I feel like…he's been avoiding me a lot lately. I wonder if he's mad at me. Dammit, I can barely read my own dad!" Hide exclaims with a bitter laugh.
"When did all this start?" Kaneki says gently.
"A week ago? I think it's gotten worse since…" Hide stops himself and his frown deepens.
"Since what?"
Hide chews on the waffle cone, the crunch breaking the silence. "I think he hates me."
Kaneki shakes his head at his words. "He doesn't hate you. What reason does he have to hate you? You're the only important person he has, right?"
"I wonder if I remind him of mom… I look like her a lot, remember?" Hide turns to meet Kaneki's gaze.
Kaneki smiles and nods. "Yeah… reminds me how my mom said I look like my dad."
"It's all in the genes, right?" Hide replies sarcastically. He continues crunching on the cone in his hand.
Kaneki's lips form a thin line in thought. His eyes light up when he remembers something. "Hey, it's your birthday tomorrow! Don't forget!"
Hide snorts. "Oh yeah. I'm gonna be sixteen already." He then tightens his grip on Kaneki's hand with excitement. "We should go out tomorrow. Do something really cool, like maybe head to the beach or something?"
Kaneki gives a guilty smile. "I really wish I could. But…" He sighs heavily. "One of my aunt's in-laws is getting married tomorrow and she's forcing me to help her out to make sure things go smoothly since it's being held at her house."
"Well, can't you tell her, 'Fuck you, I'd rather be making out with my boyfriend'?" Hide says with a smirk.
Kaneki blushes deeply at hearing Hide say the 'b' word for the first time out loud. His heart flutters happily at how real it sounds.
I love him so much.
Kaneki leans back against the bench. "You don't know how many times I've had to literally bite my tongue, but if I don't help her, she said she'd kick me out of the house for good. And I really don't think it's wise of me to be on my own yet so…"
Hide smiles in understanding. "I get it. Don't worry. I don't want you being homeless either. Situations like this, I wish I was turning twenty instead."
Kaneki rests his chin on Hide's shoulder, his eyes set on his friend. "So, are you and your dad going to do anything special?"
"You know what? Yeah, crazy enough. He said he'd take the day off to spend it with me. I wonder if he'll actually keep that promise though…"
Hide grins again. "If he ends up breaking it, I'm coming over and crashing that wedding to see you."
Kaneki's eyes widen, and he shakes his head. "What? You don't have to do that! My aunt will be furious!"
"Oh, come on, I'll sneak in like I always do. Ninja Hide, remember?" he laughs.
"Your dad better keep that promise, oh my god…" Kaneki says as he places a hand over his forehead at Hide's ridiculous notion.
Though, he knows deep inside, he wants to be with Hide. All the time.
Ice cream completely gone, Hide runs his free hand through Kaneki's soft hair and smiles as the half-ghoul lets out a calming breath at his caress.
Everyday should be like this…
"And here right in front of our eyes, ladies and gents, are the two lovebirds who took fucking forever to decide they are soulmates. I mean, how dense are these idiots."
The two are interrupted by the familiar voice of Nishiki, who approaches them from behind. Hide and Kaneki jolt in surprise and turn their heads to see the ghoul smirking at them.
"You. Why are you always popping up outta thin air?" Hide states, pointing a finger at the ghoul.
Nishiki chuckles. "I've got secrets that your inquisitive mind will never figure out."
Hide scoffs. "Try me."
Nishiki keeps his smug expression as he walks around to stand in front of them. He takes in the sight of the two sitting closely together and then his eyes wander to their intertwined hands. He nudges his glasses up his nose and smiles.
"So, finally snagged him as your boyfriend, huh? Did you piss your pants confessing?" Nishiki says to Kaneki with a snicker.
Kaneki blushes again. "N-No…"
Hide releases Kaneki's hand as he stands to his feet. "No, he didn't piss his pants. He was bleeding all over the floor. He almost lost his life and it's your fault!"
Nishiki's expression turns perplexed. "My fault? Are you fucking kidding me?"
"Hell no! Because of that thing you gave him, you nearly killed the love of my life!" Hide shouts and he lunges towards the ghoul.
Nishiki stumbles when he dodges Hide's attempt to pound him. "Love of your life? Damn, things are that serious already? I don't know what the hell you're talking about, Nagachika. Has love made you crazy?"
"I'm going to murder you! Come here!" Hide yells as he chases Nishiki down.
Kaneki watches with his mouth agape as the two run all over the place, spitting comments back and forth.
"Chill out, man! Kaneki literally bled his heart for you. If that ain't a gesture of his undying love for you, I don't know what is!" Nishiki states. He snickers as he continues dodging the rocks that Hide begins hurling at him.
"Shut up!" Hide spits back and quickens his movements.
Kaneki gets up off the bench and catches up to Hide. Before Hide could make another aggressive move, Kaneki wraps his arms around Hide's waist from behind and nuzzles his head against the middle of his back.
"It's okay, Hide. You don't have to punish Nishiki. We all know he's a moron," Kaneki says, his cheek pressing on Hide's back.
Hide hesitates, his jaw clenching a few times before he gives up. He throws a hard glare Nishiki's way before turning around towards Kaneki. Meanwhile, Nishiki takes up the bench, both of his arms resting on the back of it as he watches Hide pressing his hands on either side of Kaneki's face to squish his cheeks. The half-ghoul makes a sound of protest but laughs when Hide bites his puckered lips.
"Just like my sister. Lovesick," the ghoul mutters to himself.
He knows for a fact that these boys in front of him are worse. They've got it bad.
Anyone who sees them for a second would know – they would die for each other.
He inhales sharply, and the air seems to cut through his lungs. His right arm feels numb and heavy as it rests over his sweaty forehead. His eyes are blank, fixed on the ceiling fan that rotates fast and blows stale air throughout his room.
He hates that he feels so exhausted. He's been meaning to get out of bed for the past hour, but he's barely moved a muscle.
He's the only one in the apartment again. As usual.
He slaps his forehead and then groans loudly while he stretches his stiff limbs. He needs to get up, but his body disagrees. Of all days, today had to be the day he wants to stay in bed.
He moves, and next thing he knows, he's rolling off his bed and colliding onto the carpet with a hard thud. The floor feels nice, and once more, he hesitates to make another move. But as always, he pushes himself.
His father is still ignoring him. He's in his own world, even more so now, and refuses to let Hide in.
Who the hell is he?
He misses his mother more often these days.
He rubs at his right eye when he stands to his feet and drags himself to the kitchen, where his dad had ended a phone call an hour ago before leaving for work. As expected, he left a note of the same old lines.
Hide shakes his head with a bitter smile. There's no point in waiting anymore. He places the note back on the kitchen counter and then glances at the digital clock on the microwave.
6:46 PM.
At that, Hide makes his decision, slapping his hands down on the counter before heading straight back to his bedroom. He rummages through his closet, trying to remember if he had a spare tuxedo that still fit.
The last time he ever wore one was for two funerals.
When he remembers that detail, he curses under his breath. Buried in the furthest corner of his closet, he finds his old suit and can tell right away he's long outgrown it.
"Shit…"
He knows he has no other suit. The only option is to look through his father's wardrobe, who he knows has multiple suits for work. He hesitates for a moment before he leaves his room and enters his dad's.
His father's room is cluttered with dirty clothes and papers all over the floor. The unkempt state of the room seems to match his father's mind, scattered and disorganized. He skips over to the closet and inhales deeply once he catches sight of the suits hanging before him.
"Here goes nothing…"
…
"Just don't embarrass me and don't make a sound. Also, don't even come near me or Yuuichi."
Easy enough, Kaneki thinks in his head. Essentially, act as if he doesn't exist. Not that this was ever a challenge for him in this messed-up excuse of a family.
Thankfully, he didn't have to attend the silly wedding ceremony himself, but since 5 PM, he's been helping for the reception part of it. Minding his own business, acting like he's a stranger they hired, he goes through the motions like a battery-powered robot. The only payment he gets is another few more years under his aunt's roof. He'll take what he can get.
He doesn't know anybody. Every person he sees walking past, the question arises as to how he's even related to the Asaoka family. No one pays him any mind, so he continues to blend in. The large house is crowded with many of his aunt's friends and in-laws and countless other people he doesn't bother remembering. People seem to constantly bump into each other up the stairs and down the hallways. The music is booming, the chatter buzzes through the air, and alcohol runs through the adults' bloodstreams.
The deafening sound reminds him of how it felt when the knife carved through his flesh in his desolate bathroom. How much it hurt, and how much he liked it.
He grips his left wrist. Not again. Never again.
Every time his mind drifts, as the party progresses, as the hours tick by, he thinks of him. He hopes he's spending time with his father. Hide's usually keen on hiding how he feels, but after being with him for so long, Kaneki knows when something's bothering him.
Hide's too good at keeping things from him that aren't his concern. Things that could worry him more.
It's getting hard to breathe in the house, so he makes his way outside in the backyard, where there are fewer people. The night is cooler, but remnants of the summer heat lingers. His eyes scan the strangers outside scattered in groups and the decorative lights lining the surrounding fence. He then spots the long table outside containing various foods and desserts that couldn't fit inside the house.
He walks over to the table, chewing on his index finger as he peruses the partially finished food and littered plates. He stops on the half-eaten cake and immediately, he wonders if his friend is enjoying birthday cake. Since he's known Hide, his friend always made sure that he had some form of dessert whenever December rolled around. In turn, it was the same every June.
Keeping with tradition, Kaneki looks around, checking that his aunt or cousin is not watching before he grabs an empty plate and the knife lying there. Once he takes a slice, he finds a spare plastic fork but pauses.
He can't help the empty feeling that stirs inside him as he stands there. He doesn't realize the people outside have now gone back inside the house. The festive noise sounds dull to his ears and his eyes stare at nothing.
Lost in a trance, he soon shakes out of it and then cuts into the spongy cake with his fork.
This is for you.
He takes his first bite of the cake, tasting the combination of whipped cream, strawberry, and vanilla on his tongue. He exhales, smiling to himself as he digs his fork in for another piece.
Stuck in his own world, he doesn't sense it fast enough when he feels someone enveloping him from behind. A pair of strong arms suddenly wrap around his body and pulls him against the person's chest. His heart picks up in speed at the surprise motion and at first, he thinks it's his aunt or cousin trying to mess with him. His mouth is occupied with the dessert and his voice refuses to cooperate with him anyway.
"Hey, what's this? You're eating cake without me?"
A voice of disbelief questions near his ear. A voice he so wanted to hear.
"H-Hide?" Kaneki chokes out with his mouth full.
He angles his head to see his friend better. Hide flashes him a bright grin that seems to glow against the moonlight shining brightly above them. Hide holds him tighter from behind and heat floods Kaneki's body from head to toe. His breaths are shallow and in a mere second, he feels undeniably safe in his friend's arms. His back rests comfortably against Hide's chest. All the muscles in his body loses tension.
So warm…
He melts.
"I'm here, Ken," Hide whispers.
His brown eyes are dark as he inches closer to Kaneki's cheek. Blood rushes to the half-ghoul's face in an instant. His breath is unstable when he feels Hide's lips pressing lightly on his velvety skin and then stops when Hide licks at the corner of his mouth, his tongue tasting his lips.
Kaneki grows lightheaded and he almost passes out right there. He closes his eyes and moves to feel Hide's lips again, but his friend pulls away just then to look at his face. Hide smirks as he sees Kaneki's grey eyes stuck in a dazed state and his soft cheeks colored pink.
He can hardly contain himself. He is surprised he has so much self-control.
He's so damn tempting. Fuck.
"You had whipped cream on your mouth. But I got it," Hide states, his voice huskier than usual. He licks his lips and smiles.
Kaneki swallows and he slowly turns around, Hide's arms still wrapped securely around him. He smiles wide at his lover, his eyes sparkling.
"You actually came? But…what about…"
Hide shakes his head. "It's okay. Forget about it." He bends closer, his nose touching Kaneki's. "I want to be with you."
Kaneki chuckles, rubbing his nose against his friend and shutting his eyes in bliss. "I'm so happy."
Hide laughs and releases his friend. "Well, you should be. It's gotta be worth wearing this monkey suit in the summer, man," he says in a joking manner.
Kaneki takes a moment to appreciate Hide's appearance, seeing him in a black suit for the first time in a long while. He chews on the plastic fork in between his teeth and smiles. "You look really handsome."
Hide scoffs, blushing in embarrassment. "I know, right?" he replies sarcastically.
"No, really, you're hot," Kaneki says with his eyes scanning his man up and down.
Hide laughs. "Oh, shut up. You should look at yourself. I'm literally trying so hard to keep my hands off you."
Kaneki tilts his head, his grey eyes mischievous. "Hide, don't do that. Touch me all you want. I'm all yours."
Hide's eyes darken again, and he shakes his head slowly. "You really should watch what you say."
Kaneki takes a step forward, placing a hand on Hide's chest and slowly, his fingers crawl up to the side of his neck. He says nothing as he locks eyes with his friend, coaxing him to do more.
Hide's expression turns sly and he draws his face closer to Kaneki, who closes his eyes as Hide's lips brush over his. Kaneki inhales Hide's scent and sighs in content.
"I'm gonna need some of that cake. It looks way too good," Hide says out of nowhere. Right then, he moves away, leaving Kaneki hanging as he dives for the plates.
Kaneki blinks fast, frowning slightly and then shaking his head at Hide's nonsense. When Hide turns around, he had taken not one, but two, slices of the cake and had already stuffed his face. Kaneki laughs as Hide's mouth is already covered in cream.
"You're so messy, like a baby," Kaneki says. He reaches over to the table and hands Hide a napkin.
With their dessert, the boys find a spot at one of the empty tables in the backyard. They take the chairs, placing them side by side as they sit close together. Kaneki smiles when he watches Hide happily eating the cake and his hand wanders through the blond's soft, wild hair.
The boys stay silent while they munch on the leftover cake, gazing at the ongoing party from afar.
"A bore-fest, huh? Bet you don't know anybody here," Hide states.
"Yup," Kaneki says flatly.
"I don't even remember the last time my family had a gathering like this. My father's so distant from everybody. He's like a stranger now…" Hide's voice trails off.
"You're my only family, Hide," Kaneki declares with a smile.
Hide turns his head, meeting Kaneki's joyful eyes. He smiles back. "It's always been that way, between you and I."
Kaneki's cheeks turn pink again as he feels himself growing warmer. Hide reaches over, holding Kaneki's hand. Kaneki can't stop thinking of how they are now. How he's always wanted them to be.
A thought strikes him then. "I hope she doesn't see us…"
Hide snorts. "Who cares. I bet she's too drunk to see herself."
Kaneki laughs. "Yeah…I guess you're right."
Hide takes a moment to listen to the music shaking the house and the sporadic laughter from afar. Setting his empty plate aside, he gets up off his chair, taking Kaneki by surprise.
He turns around, a grin on his face as he holds his hand out. "Dance with me, Ken."
Kaneki blushes and sputters. "I-I don't know if that's a good idea."
Hide pouts. "Aw, come on, I can't be dancing on my own. I'll look even more stupid than I usually do, especially in this sweaty-ass getup."
Kaneki bites his lip, pausing before putting down his finished plate and taking his friend's hand. He nearly trips on his own feet due to his nerves and he looks up at Hide, who smiles confidently at him.
"If you end up with bruised toes, don't blame me," Kaneki warns him.
"Oh, I blame you all the time. How else do I get away with it?" Hide jokes.
Kaneki rolls his eyes, sighing deeply as he places his arms around Hide's neck. The blond wraps his arms around Kaneki's waist and pulls him in. Their chests touch and Kaneki gazes at Hide's brown eyes, which brighten further in the night.
"You're beautiful," Hide comments out of nowhere, making Kaneki lose his cool again.
"Hide, please."
"I still can't believe…you like me…" Hide whispers.
Kaneki hears the insecurity in his tone and notices the way his eyes break away from his.
"Hide…" he says gently.
Just as Hide looks up, Kaneki moves in, his lips touching Hide's and claiming what he wanted from earlier. He feels Hide responding as his friend holds him tighter and his hand clutches the back of his head. Kaneki slips his tongue through to taste Hide and takes his time kissing both of Hide's lips, the soft, moist flesh of their mouths meshing together and drawing out jagged breaths.
Kaneki stops himself from deepening the kiss to pull back and look at his lover dead in the eyes. "How can you even say that? You don't know how long I've waited for this. I've wanted you for so, so long. It hurt me because I wanted you so much."
Hide places another delicate kiss on Kaneki's open mouth. "I'm sorry. I should've known better."
Kaneki smiles and presses his forehead against his friend's. "Maybe you did. But like the kind person you are, you didn't want to push yourself on me."
Hide chuckles. "Damn, guess you know me better than I thought."
Kaneki looks at Hide with all the adoration he has. "I actually don't… Sometimes, I wish I could read your mind."
"That'd be scary! Thank god you can't!" Hide exclaims dramatically.
Hide then picks up Kaneki in his arms, making the half-ghoul gasp in shock as the blond spins him around. Kaneki holds onto him tighter than ever and laughs while Hide continues to spin them both around until dizziness takes over them.
When Hide sets him to the ground, he holds Kaneki's face in his hands, his eyes closed as he rests his forehead on Kaneki's once more. Kaneki's breathing calms him down and he feels the half-ghoul touching his face so tenderly, his eyes begin to burn.
"Let's get out of here," Hide whispers, his gaze meeting with Kaneki's intent stare.
"To where?" Kaneki asks.
Hide pulls back and grins. "Anywhere. I have my bike. Let's just lose ourselves in the city. Get away from here for a while."
Kaneki smiles and then glances at the house. "She's gonna know I'm gone…"
"Like she ever cared? You're done here, Ken. I'll bring you back before she can even get over her hangover."
Kaneki laughs. "Oh, when you put it that way, okay!" He turns to the house, causing Hide to look perplexed.
"Wait, where are you going?"
"Hold on, I've gotta get my bag real fast," Kaneki hollers back.
Hide watches Kaneki disappear within the bustling house and he takes this time to retrieve his bike he left against the wooden fence. Not long after, Kaneki rushes out, panting once he reaches Hide with his school bag hanging off his back.
Hide snickers. "What, planning to study while I take you on a whirlwind adventure?"
"Shut up and let's go. My cousin nearly caught me on the way out," Kaneki says.
"Then let's skedaddle on outta here," Hide says, sticking his tongue out.
Kaneki scoffs at his silly choice of words. Clad in their fancy suits, the boys sneak away from the party and once they make it to the vacant street, there's no going back for them.
Normally, Kaneki is terribly self-conscious and would rather stay invisible forever. He'd rather die than stand out like a sore thumb.
But with him, god, he doesn't give a single care in the world.
The power this boy has over him is endless.
The unconditional love he has for him is infinite. He can't stop it. It won't ever stop.
He'd do anything. Jump off a cliff with him. Die with him. It didn't matter.
The people walking the streets at night stare at them in their black suits and riding past on Hide's aging bike. The boys can't stop laughing at themselves, but it's just too fun.
They're crazy and addicted. Crazy in love.
The city lights seem to glow brighter in Kaneki's view. Maybe it's how he feels that makes everything seem so fuzzy and beautiful. All the colors blind him and energy courses through him like lightning.
His arms grasp Hide closer against him, his head resting on his back. Everything spirals fast around him. Hide is the only one he can see.
"If you could get a tattoo, what would you pick?" Hide asks him when they take a break from their bike ride.
Standing in front of a tattoo shop down one of the streets they walk along, Kaneki shakes his head at his random question.
"I don't know. I don't think I'm comfortable with having something on my skin permanently…"
"Just hypothetically, dude," Hide says. He nudges Kaneki with his elbow.
"Well, if I had to choose…god…" Kaneki pauses, pursing his lips together. "I don't even know. Maybe…maybe something that reminds me of you."
He blushes and looks up at Hide, who smiles warmly at him.
"What about you?"
He ruffles the half-ghoul's hair. "You said my answer for me, mind-reader."
Hide chuckles. "Usually, I think getting relationship tattoos is a dumb idea. But..."
He grabs Kaneki's hand and the other squeezes his in response.
The two do indeed get lost in the city. They lose track of direction multiple times and nearly get stuck in some dodgy areas. Still, Kaneki manages to keep both of them away from the ghoul-infested areas, using his sharp senses to sniff them out. Despite the hiccups on their spontaneous journey, Kaneki's belly aches from laughing so hard. The way Hide thinks he knows where he's going and then watching the blond lose his composure and swear loudly, he can't help himself from doubling over so many times.
Hide never gets mad. The sound of Kaneki's laughter thrills Hide, lifting his spirits higher and higher.
"Oh snap, I know!" Hide grins and turns to his friend. "Are you getting hungry?"
Kaneki shrugs his shoulders. "Umm, sure?"
"Don't say 'sure' like that! Say 'hell yeah' because I just remembered this new burger place that opened this year. I heard about it from some guys at school and I've been meaning to check it out myself. We should go!"
"I haven't had a burger since my mom died…" Kaneki says quietly in thought.
"Which makes this destination our path to paradise! I think it's called 'Big Girl'," Hide says, tapping his lip.
"Sounds perverted," Kaneki jokes. Hide laughs loudly at that.
"Oh, I heard there's a bunch of cute girls on their staff. Too bad, I'm happily taken." Hide gives a cheeky grin Kaneki's way.
Kaneki smiles and then clings to Hide's arm. "Am I going to have to fight off some random chicks? Maybe we should go somewhere else."
Hide smirks at him. "It's gonna be okay, Ken. They're probably gonna be more attracted to an adorable, innocent boy like you."
"That's creepy," Kaneki comments as he leans on Hide.
"They ain't cougars, my man!" Hide states with a chuckle. "Or I hope not anyway… In any case, I'll protect you."
Hide scratches the back of his head. "Now I gotta figure out where it is…"
"Oh boy," Kaneki says. He knows it'll probably take at least another hour or so until Hide finds his bearings, but like before, it doesn't matter to him. Staying by his side is all he wants.
It's 9 PM by the time Hide shouts "Eureka!" when they come upon the Big Girl restaurant, which is filled with other teenagers around their age.
"I knew this was perverted," Kaneki says. He looks up at the sign that showcases a girl wearing a skimpy skirt as part of her tight-fitting uniform.
"What do you expect from horny high school boys, right?" Hide replies and takes Kaneki's hand in his.
Once the boys enter the restaurant, they are greeted simultaneously by multiple waitresses, who put on grins that look so plastic, Kaneki winces.
"Welcome to Big Girl, gentlemen! How many?" the hostess asks with enthusiasm.
"Two please," Hide replies and the hostess tells him they'll have to wait a few minutes for a table.
Hide turns to Kaneki. "Not so bad, right? Friendly girls. And would you smell that? My stomach's growling from all that walking around."
"Well good job, explorer Hide. Thanks to all your hard work, I'll be picking up the tab," Kaneki states with a smile as he runs a hand through Hide's hair.
"What? No way, I can handle it," Hide insists.
"It's your birthday, remember?" Kaneki retorts.
Hide's bottom lip juts out in protest. "At least let me pay half?"
Before Kaneki could answer, the hostess returns and takes them to their booth near the window. As soon as they are settled and the hostess heads towards the front, another girl replaces her.
"Wow, you boys look so handsome all dressed up. What's the occasion? Did y'all just leave a party?" their waitress comments.
Kaneki glances at Hide before replying. "Umm…just a wedding."
"A wedding?" The girl's eyes bulge and she shrieks in delight. "No way. Is it…?"
Her large eyes dart back and forth between the two, causing the boys to grow flustered and shake their heads rapidly.
"No, no, it's not ours. Yet," Hide says with a wink. The girl squeals louder at that and Kaneki slaps a hand to his forehead.
"Aww…I could have sworn it was you two getting married. I saw you both holding hands when you got in. So cute, both of you!" she comments as she takes out her notepad to write down their orders.
"Um, yes, when can we order, please?" Kaneki cuts in with a forced grin.
"Sure, sure, what will we be having tonight?"
Hide glances at the menu for a few minutes. "Guess I'll just have the regular hamburger, since it's our first time here and all."
"Make that two, please," Kaneki adds.
The girl grins and sticks her pen behind her ear. "Coolio, sounds good. And what kind of drink would you like?"
The boys settle for water and with that, the girl leaves, her skirt swishing with her every move.
Kaneki blows out his exhale in exasperation, clutching his forehead and narrowing his eyes at Hide. The blond smirks and reaches out to poke at his lover's cheek. "Don't be so sour, baby. It's all fun and games."
Kaneki's cheeks turn pink at Hide's new pet name for him and he hides his eyes behind his arm, deciding to play with his lover. Hide whines like a child, coaxing his friend to come out of hiding.
"Don't leave me alone, Ken! I'll die if you do," Hide states dramatically. He pokes at Kaneki's arm repeatedly and then scratches at the side of Kaneki's head, the black silky hair slipping through his fingers.
At the last statement, Kaneki shows his face. "Boo," Kaneki replies in a soft tone and clutches onto both of Hide's outstretched hands.
Hide cheers and his fingers grip onto Kaneki's equally strong hold on him. They stare at each other across the table for a minute before laughing at the same time and then pulling apart.
Discussing about how many times they got lost like headless chickens, their burgers arrive amid Hide recalling them coming across a dingy area of the city.
"I need to bring like a GPS or something next time. We don't even have phones, dammit! What are we, cavemen?" Hide exclaims.
"Well, there's no way I'm getting a phone until I'm on my own," Kaneki says with a shrug.
"Then I won't either until you do. Otherwise, who am I gonna text? Just my dad? Please," Hide comments.
"I think it's funny that we're dating but we don't have phones like other teenagers. We're weirdos," Kaneki points out with a laugh.
"I know right? Most people our age is single and/or struggling in relationships…"
Kaneki gazes at Hide with those adoring eyes again. "I'm so lucky…"
Hide grins at him. "Cheeseball."
The boys take in the smell of the steaming hamburgers in front of them and Hide rubs his hands together in anticipation.
"Oh man, you ready, Kaneki? We should take the first bite at the same time."
Kaneki chuckles. "Okay, that's fine."
Hide takes his knife and fork, figuring out which part is the meatiest section for him to cut into. Once he finds it, he starts chopping the corner while Kaneki readies his own.
As soon as their forks spear their pieces, Hide looks up at him, eagerness written all over his face. "Okay, on the count of three…"
"One…" Hide starts.
"Two…" Kaneki says with a smile breaking through.
"Three!" the boys finish in unison and place the forks in their mouths. They both take the time to assess the taste and once their senses sink in, their reactions follow.
"Holy shiitake mushrooms," Hide says with wide eyes.
Kaneki covers his mouth in shock. The taste of the hamburger immediately takes him back to the first time he tried his mother's homemade burger. He can't believe it.
"This is so good, oh my god. Kaneki?" Hide looks at his friend and sees Kaneki smiling wide, his cheeks glowing at the taste.
"It's like mom's… It's delicious," Kaneki meets his gaze with pure joy.
Hide then finds Kaneki's expression more amazing than the burger he just sampled. He watches Kaneki going for another bite and reaches over to ruffle his hair. "See? Told you coming here was a great idea."
Kaneki playfully pushes him away and the boys continue savoring their meal together, their night escapade passing on with no one to disturb them.
…
Hide burps for the second time that night, causing Kaneki to laugh at the exaggerated sound.
"Oops, that wasn't me," Hide states. He looks around, acting as if it was someone else.
"You shouldn't say 'oops' if it's not you then," Kaneki points out. He swings their intertwined hands between them.
It's close to 11 PM by the time the boys make it to the same park where they had ice cream the previous day. The park is empty at this hour and the boys decide to rest near the trees, the leaves swaying in the breeze and the moonlight shining through, casting ominous shadows on their bodies.
Hide props his bike against the large trunk of the tree before he lets out an exhausted groan, allowing himself to lie flat on the grass. Kaneki follows him, lying right beside him as he sets his bag on his left side.
"We shouldn't have to come back. We should just stay out here. Become those underground hobos or something," Hide suggests, his arms propped behind his head.
Kaneki chuckles. "If we're staying together, Hide, I'm making sure we're living in proper conditions where you're safe and away from the monsters of society."
Hide looks over at him with amusement in his brown eyes. "So…we are getting married?"
Kaneki blushes and fiddles with his tie. "Well…I…I don't know…"
"I'm just kidding, Kaneki. We're only fifteen. Wait, I'm sixteen now."
Kaneki gasps loudly and shoots up from his lying position, blades of grass sticking to the back of his suit and hair. "Oh crap, I almost forgot!"
"What? Did you forget to read the dictionary?" Hide teases as he shifts himself to his side.
Kaneki rummages through his bag like a madman until he finally grabs hold of a neatly wrapped package. Turning around, his arms hold the item behind his back.
"I didn't bring my bag for nothing. I needed it so that I could give you this." Kaneki then reveals the package in his hand, wrapped in bright yellow paper and a green ribbon to tie it all together.
"Sorry…these colors remind me of you so…" Kaneki scratches his cheek, already beginning to sweat with his nerves.
Hide had sat up in an instant once he laid eyes on the present. His jaw drops, and he can't say anything at first.
"M-May I?" he whispers and Kaneki nods quickly, gesturing him to go for it.
Carefully, like he's holding a baby, he unravels the ribbon and removes the paper without ripping it off. He sets the paper and ribbon aside and then holds the box up for a closer look. Once he realizes what it is, he's left speechless again. He goes to open the box.
Kaneki rubs his hands together. "I noticed you've been listening to music a lot more these days and then you mentioned your old headphones wasn't working properly so… I figured…"
Hide holds up the new set of headphones Kaneki got him. Shiny, orange ones that glisten in the moonlight.
"I hope the color's okay. It made me happy seeing it because I imagined it fit you and umm…" Kaneki finds himself babbling but he can't stop. He's so nervous for some reason.
I've given him a present every year. Why is it so different now?
Hide places the headphones around his neck, having said no words so far. Kaneki swallows hard, wondering what's on his mind. Hide looks at him with a serious expression, causing Kaneki to think of the worst.
"I could always return it if you don't-"
Kaneki's eyes widen when Hide grabs him into his arms, his warm lips colliding onto his. His cheeks flush immediately at the contact, his sound of surprise muffled as Hide moves his lips hard and rough on his mouth. Kaneki closes his eyes, parting his lips for Hide to invade and tie his tongue with his eager one. Something inside him burns his veins and he dives into the fire completely. Hide's tongue is so hot, wet, tingling as it meets his own aggressively, tying him down. His breathy gasps are swallowed by his friend, saliva dripping out the corner of his mouth. Hide's hand grips the back of his head, pulling at his hair slightly and exciting Kaneki more. Hide moves away for a split second for air before returning, claiming Kaneki's taste for himself and effectively bruising the half-ghoul's lips.
Hide's arm is strong around his waist while Kaneki weakens from his touch. Soon, Hide has him pinned to the ground. He lets Hide do what he wants, all he needs is more. More.
Hide withdraws a second time, their greedy mouths causing lewd, wet sounds to fill the thick air between them. Kaneki lets out a whine in protest as he pulls on Hide's tie, reeling him in so that Hide's tender lips touch his bruised ones. Hide gives in, allowing his tongue to slip through to pleasure his lover once more. Kaneki moans shamelessly, sucking on Hide's tongue once he has it in his mouth.
Hide slowly breaks away, licking at Kaneki's insatiable lips. Kaneki's kakugan appears with his lust-filled gaze as he breathes heavily, never letting go of Hide's tie.
"I want you," Kaneki breathes, his voice heavy and desperate.
Hide leans down, biting Kaneki's lower lip and then sucking on the top one. Kaneki lets out sighs that arouses Hide far too much.
"Goddammit, Ken…" Hide whispers on his mouth.
It takes a minute for both of them to settle down from the thick haze that traps them and tempts them to keep going. Once their minds are cleared, Hide's hand wanders to grasp the right side of his new headphones.
"I could never get used to this. I could never get used to you giving me a present every year. I cry like a baby when I get home every time, you know?"
Kaneki's face is still flushed, and he takes in a few breaths before letting loose a sweet smile. "You do? I'm sorry…"
"No, don't say that! I'm just so happy. I feel so blessed and this birthday is the best one. You wanna know why?"
Kaneki's trembling hand reaches up and Hide grabs it in his secure grasp.
"Because I finally have you. I held myself back for so long because I didn't think you would choose me. But you did, and I still don't understand why."
Kaneki shakes his head and he leans up, their noses bumping as he presses their lips together. "Hide, take me, just take all of me. I belong to you."
Hide lifts him up so that he's holding Kaneki from behind. Kaneki sits comfortably between his legs, his head resting against his left shoulder and his back leaning on his chest. Kaneki turns so that Hide's lips graze his forehead. He stares down at their hands clenched so hard, nothing could break their grip.
"You're mine, Hide. I'm never letting you go," Kaneki says, his voice strong.
No stranger but the moon listens to this declaration.
"I won't leave you alone, Ken. You're stuck with me," Hide responds.
It's midnight when the half-ghoul's soul finds safety with the human boy who already owns every part of him. This time the human no longer questions why. He knows it's real by the way those mismatched eyes look back at him. The human and ghoul side agreeing on one thing entirely.
There are no more secrets.