A/N: We're in the homestretch! The next chapter is the last chapter. ;_; I hope you all enjoy this one, and don't kill me for the ending! As always, all of your reviews and follows are greatly appreciated, and encourage me to keep going!

"So, they went on these crazy drag missions, and somewhere along the way they fell in love?" Ino asked in a wistful voice.

"I don't know if they're in love, but they're certainly having sex together," Sai returned blandly, not sure if he'd know love if he saw it. His gaze sharpened as he watched the way the sunlight from the window played on Ino's hair while they both lay in bed. These lazy morning moments before they both got up to start their day was one of his favorite parts of living with her.

"That's so romantic," she said dreamily, looking off in the distance and apparently fantasizing about her perfect drag romance.

Sai frowned thoughtfully. It wasn't the type of romance that he'd read about, but Sai was nothing if not able to assimilate new information and add it to his arsenal. Reaching a conclusion, Sai leaned slightly forward and said, "I own a very pretty dress, you know."

She began to laugh at him, and though it wasn't the reaction he'd been expecting, something about the soft way that she looked at him made him feel like she wasn't being mean. He amended his earlier thought—sometimes he did know love when he saw it.

"Isn't it time for you to go and give your report?" Ino asked, placing her hand on his cheek and sweeping the pad of her thumb over his cheekbone.

"Yes," Sai answered simply, touching her hand with his own before rolling onto his other side and getting out of bed. He'd arrived home from the mission late the night before to a note from Naruto telling him that he could report in the morning. Grateful for the chance to get some sleep and see Ino, he'd gone straight home, and he now felt refreshed and more than prepared to report what had happened on the mission.

Once he'd finished getting dressed, he returned to give Ino a kiss goodbye—something that took a little longer than expected when she abruptly pulled him back into the bed with her. A few long moments later, with his hair slightly mussed, Sai left, dressed in his usual outfit and carrying a certain sparkly necklace in his pocket.

Within ten minutes, he was entering the Hokage Tower, prepared to share the video files that were held inside the necklace. As he entered Naruto's office, he saw that Naruto and Shikamaru were already there—but, even more interesting, Sakura and Kakashi were there, as well.

Now that Sai knew about their secret relationship, he noticed things he hadn't before. Like the way they stood fractionally closer together than they used to, or the little smile Sakura gave Kakashi when she thought nobody was looking. Sai shifted his gaze to Naruto to see if he noticed, but Naruto was clasping his hands together and looking at Sai expectantly. "Did you bring the recording?"

"Yes," Sai replied, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the necklace. Sakura and Kakashi looked at him with faintly perplexed expressions.

"Excellent," Naruto answered, his smile a devious one. "I think it's time for everyone to give their report."

Apparently, Naruto wanted them to all report together. Thinking about what the video contained, Sai raised his eyebrows slightly.

This was going to be interesting.

Sakura took little notice when Sai had entered the room and taken the spot beside where she and Kakashi stood in Naruto's office. They'd all arrived to Konoha late the night before, and though she had followed Kakashi home and fallen straight into bed, she still felt like she hadn't gotten enough sleep.

"Good morning, everyone," Naruto said brightly from his place behind his desk. His eyes were alight with mischief and he looked like he was hiding a grin. Normally, that would have made Sakura suspicious, but right now she was too tired to care, and so she barely paid attention as Naruto addressed Kakashi and asked, "So, how did it go? I assume you were able to infiltrate the target's hideout?"

"Everything went according to plan. The target, as well as his associates, were apprehended by ANBU with no bloodshed," Kakashi answered in a voice that did little to disguise how bored he was.

"Good," Naruto said with an air of finality, as the grin he'd been struggling to hide finally broke through. "Now we can get to the good part. Sai, give your report."

Sakura glanced at Sai, watching him cross the room toward a mobile TV stand that she'd only just noticed. She assumed Naruto must have had it wheeled in for the occasion. Sai removed a sparkly, sapphire-like necklace from his pocket and, oddly, connected it to the TV via a small wire. Sakura frowned—there was something strangely familiar about that necklace. "What is that?" she asked.

"Sai had a little extra mission," Naruto answered with a toothy grin.

"What do you mean? A mission besides retrieving the target once we'd infiltrated the hideout?" Sakura asked, fully awake now as she exchanged a glance with Kakashi. He looked just as confused as her.

"He means that I was sent to infiltrate the club and record your performance," Sai responded blithely, and suddenly the television was showing the curtained stage of the Snatched Wig, and the host drag queen was introducing some dirty dancing from "Setsuko" and "Masaaki".

"No," Kakashi said, his voice filled with dread.

"Naruto—" Sakura began threateningly, as a familiar song began playing.

"I'd like to remind you that this video is official evidence, and destroying it would be a crime," Naruto said gleefully, not taking his eyes off the screen as the spotlights went on and illuminated Kakashi and Sakura. His jaw dropped. "Kakashi-sensei, your mask—"

Sakura turned in time to see a pained look in Kakashi's eyes as Naruto saw him, not only in drag, but completely unmasked—well, except for the makeup. Suddenly, Sakura was furious, and she was turning back toward that infinitely smashable television when Kakashi's hand closed around her wrist.

"Let me go, I'm going to put a stop to this," Sakura protested, even as Naruto began to howl with laughter at the dancing figures on the screen.

"He won, Sakura," Kakashi said wearily. "We can't hide it." Sakura frowned, but she eventually stopped trying to pull away. Kakashi released her wrist, and they both looked on mournfully as Naruto slapped his thighs and exclaimed over the hilarity of what he was watching.

They were forced to watch the whole thing. All of them: Sakura, sullen and angry. Kakashi, silent and brooding. Sai, blandly amused. Shikamaru, vaguely interested. And of course, Naruto, who was gasping for breath when he wasn't screaming about this being the funniest thing he'd ever seen.

"How did you even get all of this?" Sakura hissed toward Sai. "I didn't see you in the audience."

"I was in disguise," Sai replied with a somewhat wooden smile, and something clicked in Sakura's brain.

That sapphire necklace, that smile... Sakura knew that she'd seen them both before, but where? It was driving her mad trying to make the connection.

"This is amazing, Sai," Naruto gasped, wiping tears from his eyes as the on-screen performance finished, the music replaced with the sound of applause. "I'm going to watch that whenever I'm feeling sad," he continued with distinct delight.

Sakura's mind was still turning. The sapphire necklace—that was the key. Sakura remembered seeing it, and for some reason she felt like she'd seen it with a blue, slinky dress...

And that's when she remembered.

"Actually, Hokage-sama," Sai was saying, "that's not the only footage I took that night. You did tell me to film everything."

Sakura whipped her head toward Kakashi, her voice urgent. "He was the drag queen in the blue dress. The one outside the door." A beat passed, and then Kakashi's eyes widened as he comprehended what she was telling him, and what it meant.

Naruto had perked up at the promise of more video. "There's more? Was there a second performance later?"

"You could say that," Sai responded, uncharacteristically hesitant.

"Well, let's see it!" Naruto said cheerfully, reaching to fast forward, but before he could do so, there was a blur of movement from Kakashi, and a kunai was suddenly sticking through the broken pieces of the necklace. The quickness of the action made Sakura gasp, even as Naruto cried out in dismay as the television went black.

Naruto wheeled toward Kakashi, his arms gesturing wildly as he cried, "Kakashi-sensei! What was I just saying about evidence!"

Although the threat was removed, Kakashi wasn't back to his normally aloof self. He was tense, his eyes serious. "What came after that was not a performance, Hokage-sama," he said formally, without even a trace of the usual sarcastic tone that he used whenever referring to Naruto by his formal title.

Naruto blinked. "What? What was it?" When Kakashi didn't answer, Naruto turned his eyes toward Sakura. "Sakura-chan? What happened?"

There was a long, silent moment, where neither Sakura nor Kakashi responded.

"Damn it!" Naruto finally exploded. "Someone had better tell me what's going on! Sai!" Naruto pointed a finger at Sai. "Tell me what was on that video!"

In a surprising show of emotion, Sai visibly swallowed, his eyes flicking from Kakashi to Sakura before returning to Naruto. "I followed them backstage, but they disappeared into their private dressing room. I stayed outside for some time before the owner came through and slammed the door open."

"Sai—" Sakura began, in the kind of growling voice that told Sai that continuing would be bad for his health.

Shikamaru, who was, for once, completely absorbed in what was going on, amusedly quipped, "No threatening the witness."

"Go on, Sai," Naruto urged.

"Through the door, I was able to see that they were..." Sai paused, avoiding everyone's eyes as he looked toward the ceiling. "...in a state of undress," he finally finished, in a somewhat contemplative voice.

A strangled snort came from Shikamaru's desk, and Sakura glared at him as he covered a grin with his hand. Shifting her gaze to Kakashi, she found that he'd returned to his usual slouch, as if he'd decided to accept his fate and could no longer be bothered to react.

"They were in a dressing room, of course they were undressed!" Naruto snapped. "What's the big deal?"

"They were undressed in a way that allowed for... activities," Sai continued, being more discreet than Sakura had ever seen him be, and Shikamaru began to laugh, dropping his hand from his face.

"What's so funny? What activities?" Naruto growled, flailing his arms in his exasperation.

"I think that Sai means to say that Sakura and Kakashi were being intimate with each other," Shikamaru said, finally composing himself.

"...What?" Naruto asked in a confused voice. Kakashi closed his eyes briefly, and Sakura turned her head away, suddenly unable to look at Naruto as he continued, "Sakura-chan... and Kakashi-sensei? Is that true?" His voice hummed with some repressed emotion.

Kakashi cleared his throat, one hand creeping up to rub at the back of his head. "Maa—" he began.

Knowing from his tone that Naruto was probably close to flying off the handle, Sakura held up a hand and said, "Naruto, let's not make this into some big deal—"

There was a crackle of energy in the air as Naruto closed the distance between him and Kakashi in a split second, his hands fisting in Kakashi's flak jacket and yanking him closer as he snarled, "You're her teacher!"

Kakashi tried to begin again. "About that—"

"You're being ridiculous!" Sakura interrupted, snapping at Naruto.

"I am not!" Naruto retorted, glaring at her as Kakashi continued to attempt to look casual as he dangled from Naruto's hands. "It's gross to date your teacher!"

"He hasn't been my teacher in over a decade!" Sakura bit out. "Let him go, Naruto!"

That fact seemed to give Naruto pause, but then he jerked Kakashi closer to him again, scowling. "You're old!" he said with a triumphant stare, looking as if he was sure that was a winning argument.

"Well, I suppose—" Kakashi started.

"He is not!" Sakura interrupted again, completely ignoring Kakashi's continued attempts to talk.

"He's, what, twenty years older than you?" Naruto challenged.

Sakura's hands fisted by her sides. "It's fourteen years, and who the hell cares?"

"He's taking advantage of you!" Naruto insisted.

"You don't know what you're talking about!" Sakura shot back in a voice that was almost a shriek.

"He's old and you're kinda young and it's—" Naruto began to go off again, but this time it was Kakashi who interrupted.

"I love her," he said calmly. He said it like it was no big deal, like he was talking about the weather.

There was a long moment of silence as the conversation screeched to a halt, and every set of eyes in the room homed in on him.

And then all hell broke loose.