There is only one emotion consuming his entire being now that he's drained himself. He never cries, not him. He would not allow himself to shed tears in this world that already views people like him lower than dirt.

But now that she's gone, what else can he do?

Somewhere in the back of his fucked-up mind, there's a line that repeats itself.

I told you so, I told you so, I told you so, I told you-

It's already been a week since she died in his arms. He still feels her blood seeping through his skin. The distress over her boils like lava and it overwhelms him. It drove him on a manhunt for the one who betrayed her in the days that followed.

And now, he finally found the rat. Cornered right where he wants him. It's like luck is on his side because it didn't take too long. Just a week.

There's no one else. Just the two of them. Far from society and dragged in the outskirts where no one could hear his screams.

"Please you don't understand! It wasn't me! I loved her, I loved her!"

He is so sick of hearing excuses. Humans are pathetic. Why did he even think that humans and ghouls could get along without one of them hurting the other. They just weren't meant to be.

All he can think about is the pain his sister went through in her final moments. How much blood surrounded her, like she was drowning in it. The fact that she was still in love with this maggot cowering in front of him till her last breath.

Love. What the fuck is love?

Nishiki doesn't bother saying anything, his eyes changing to the eerie red. He feels so empty; nothing but the fires of rage scorch his insides.

All sound is dull to his ears, including whatever else the man tries to holler in his desperate attempts to stay alive. When his kagune runs free in its fully-fledged form, tearing through the flesh and guts of the man who his sister admired so much, he doesn't experience any satisfaction.

While he stands there, his kagune flailing dangerously around him and splattering blood everywhere, the rage begins to dissipate to a heavier emotion that hits him harder than anything else.

He is alone. He has nobody.

He can't help but suffer a sense of abandonment. He hates his sister for leaving him. He hates her for leaving him to survive completely alone in this wretched world while she got to escape with her foolish faith in love.

He doesn't bother bringing the corpse back to the feeding grounds. The other ghouls would find it eventually. He sees a picture of his sister in the man's phone, smiling so brightly with him wrapped around her. He crushes the damned device in his bare hands till it's nothing but scrap on the concrete.

He continues walking and walking to nowhere in particular. He still smells blood on him. His sister's voice echoes in his head over and over. His body begs him to stop.

He doesn't listen.

He fades.

Hide stretches as his eyes adjust to the darkness of his room. School left him so exhausted that right after finishing his work, he passed out. He doesn't know how long he slept but from how pitch black it is, he guesses it's the late hours of the night.

With one eye open, he turns his head and notices the light from the living room seeping underneath the bottom of the door. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he rolls off his bed, meeting the ground in a clumsy heap. Still dressed in his white shirt and black pants from his uniform, he quietly opens his door and makes his way towards the light.

On the couch, his father sits with a cup of cold coffee set aside in front of him. He has his hands clasped together near his mouth, his elbows resting on his knees. His brows are knotted together, and his eyes are closed as he is deep in thought.

Hide hesitates when he spots his father seated calmly in silence. He can't really remember the last time he saw him take time to rest let alone take a breather.

It's been months since he had a decent conversation with his father. He doesn't know how to start or what to say anymore.

His father looks up slowly when he feels Hide's lingering stare on him and he breaks out of his thinking state. "Hide, I didn't realize you were awake."

Hide gives a thin-lipped smile and looks around. "What time is it?"

Mr. Nagachika glances at the watch he still has on. "Almost midnight."

Hide furrows his brows. "When did you get home?"

"About an hour ago."

Hide sighs heavily and Mr. Nagachika gazes at his son for a moment before he gestures for him to come sit by him on the couch. "Come here, Hide. There's actually something…I've been meaning to tell you…"

Hide swallows. He feels nervous because he knows that whenever his father says that, it's about something he is not going to be pleased to hear. But since they haven't said more than a sentence to each other in a while, he gives in.

Hide strides over to the empty space on his father's right side. Mr. Nagachika doesn't look at him and he brings his hands together in thought once more.

"Dad, what's going on?" Hide asks quietly.

His father takes in a deep breath before he finally meets Hide's eyes. "So, my job…there's nothing more for me here in Tokyo…in Japan really. I…we, we're going to have to move again."

As expected, there is a brief silence and Hide narrows his eyes. "When did you know about this? How long has it been-"

"I've been thinking of moving since June so…about six months. I'm planning for us to move to America. There's more for me over there, more for the both of us. I know this is a lot to take in-"

"Yeah, it's a lot! Why did you wait six months to tell me?" Hide asks him, his voice rising in volume.

His father's forehead creases. "I knew this wasn't going to be easy but…I needed time to think…"

Hide shakes his head. "Dad, I can't. I'm done moving. We've done that enough and I thought we were happy here in Tokyo. I can't leave. I'm not going."

His father stares at him for a moment, seeing the firm decision in Hide's eyes. "Are you sure you don't want to come with me? America has so many more opportunities for us."

"Maybe for you. But not me." Hide gets up from the couch, walking over to the kitchen counter. He rests a hand there, his knuckles curling against the cold surface.

"It's because of him, isn't it?"

Hide's hand stops moving on the counter and once more, a tense silence fills the air.

"You know, Hide, I never told you this, but I knew that boy wasn't like everyone else. I know he's not human."

Hide's eyes widen and his breathing stops. Suddenly, the apartment is colder than before.

"He's a ghoul."

"H-How long have you known this?" Hide turns to him, his voice hoarse.

Mr. Nagachika's lips press together tightly in thought and he shuts his eyes. "I don't remember, maybe when you two were both ten years old. Around the time his mother passed away."

Hide's brain can't function, his mouth frozen. He can't find the words.

"He looks at you like your mother looked at me." His father gives a dry laugh. "His mother knew, for sure. He's looked at you like that since the start, I think."

A small smile breaks through as Hide listens quietly.

"I was scared when I realized that my son was prancing around with one of those creatures that everyone knows exists. That everyone hates so much. But over the years, I just couldn't stop you two. You were happy. It…it was like you were his lifeline or something…"

"Dad…" Hide whispers.

"I still worry, son. I don't know much about these ghouls, but I just wonder how long things will stay…safe..."

"He wouldn't hurt me, dad," Hide tells him firmly.

His father exhales hard. "I don't know. I just don't know." He then raises his head, looking at his son straight in the eyes. "But I know you, Hide. I know you so well."

Hide waits, watching how sad his father looks. It hurts his chest seeing him like this.

"You're the most selfless person. So kind…too kind," his father says. His hands are clasped between his legs, his eyes fixed on the carpet.

"That boy, I'm sure, would do anything for you as you would do for him. But at the same time, he depends on you. And you being you, you'd sacrifice yourself."

Hide's lungs feel like they're being squeezed. Not many people can read him because he makes sure to shield himself. But here, his father tears those walls down so easily. It's only natural, of course. But it frightens Hide. He still can't move.

"I'm going to be heading to America in the next month. I have a feeling I know what your ultimate decision will be, but at least think it over. I will support you." His father stands to his feet, walking over to Hide, who stares into space with blank eyes.

"I just want you to think about yourself and what's good for you in the long run. Do you understand?" his father says gently.

Hide's eyes shift from blurred vision to his father's face shrouded in the dim light. He nods slowly, and his father places a hand on his shoulder, squeezing slightly.

"Think about it, son," his father repeats with a small smile. His eyes are still downcast as he walks past Hide and into his room.

Hide stands there for a minute longer, his father's words loud in his mind. His eyes direct towards the door and next thing he knows, he's outside his apartment and heading down the streets in the quiet of the isolated night.

As he walks down the pavement, passing by multiple street lights on the way, his mind goes on overdrive. The cold, winter air of December blows right through him. He hadn't bothered bringing his jacket along, but it doesn't matter to him. He needs to breathe.

He can only hear his footsteps, one after the other.

It's too quiet.

He leans against one of the street lights, gazing up at the black sky, his breath coming out in small clouds.

It's starless.

Somehow, it matches how he feels.

For most of the holiday season, Kaneki hasn't seen his boyfriend as Hide had told him he wanted to spend more time with his dad. Of course, Kaneki isn't upset in the slightest. In fact, he pushed Hide to spend as much time as he wanted with his father.

The boys are a few months away from ending their first year of high school and heading on to their second year once April approaches. Studies also occupy their days, keeping the boys separate from each other even more. Still, Hide manages to see Kaneki between classes from time to time, never leaving him alone entirely.

School work keeps Kaneki distracted so he doesn't have to bear his aunt's abuse. He'd rather study at the library then stay at her home.

Kaneki is happy though. Because of the busy season, Hide always leaves a note in Kaneki's shoe locker before he arrives. Every note, Kaneki treasures, and it becomes a collection that makes him smile like a fool every time.

I tried to cook today for my dad and failed miserably. He still ate it though. Thankfully, we didn't get sick. I really need to get better though 'cause I gotta make burgers for my baby someday! XO

Dad says I talk about you too much. He says I'm like my mother in that way. What am I, I might as well be her male clone. Talking about you calms me down, you know?

I couldn't sleep well last night. So much on my mind. I wish I had a phone so I could text you. You'd probably hate me though for texting too much. Sorry.

I love you. I always cheer up when I remember you're mine.

In return, Kaneki would write a note back without fail and place it in his shoe locker before the school day ended.

I can already imagine the catastrophe the kitchen must be in. I wish I was there with you, but I know you need this time alone. I miss you so much. I'd eat everything you made regardless of how bad it looks, I promise! :)

I remember my mom said I daydreamed too much. I was thinking about you when I was younger, and I still do every day. You need to get out of my head, Hide. I can't concentrate on anything. But I can't stop.

I wouldn't mind you texting me even if it kept me awake. I don't sleep some nights anyway either because I get nightmares about getting choked to death…Or being eaten alive. I wish you were here with me. But don't worry. I'm okay.

I'm crying, damn you. I love you more. Always.

True to his words, Kaneki thinks of him every day. He hopes Hide is happy when he doesn't see him. Many times, he drifts off into space, especially when he lies on his bed alone while his aunt and cousin aren't home. He counts his heart beats and imagines Hide lying beside him. He reads the notes over and over as his boyfriend's words help lull him to sleep on nights he can't.

Yes, you may think I'm crazy, but I'm already thinking of us getting married when we're older. But it's fucked up that we can't get legally married here. Makes me sad…and mad. :(

He chuckles softly when he reads this note again and he remembers how he had responded:

Marrying you would be a dream come true. It's okay if it doesn't happen though because I know that I'll always love you. We don't need legalities to define how we feel.

He takes the note from underneath to read Hide's next response which appeared in his school desk before lunch on that same day.

Now it's my turn to cry. Say goodbye to your spine because I'm going to hug you so damn hard today.

Kaneki smiles again, remembering how Hide had grabbed him during their break and embraced him so tight that he loses breath, just the way he wants it. The classmates watching them had mixed reactions, he recalls. Most were disgusted, but love makes him braver. He doesn't give a damn.

He presses the note to his lips, feeling warmth spread through him.

His peace is interrupted when he hears his aunt and cousin returning home. His aunt sounds happy while his cousin chatters in an excited manner. As always, everything else is background noise. Kaneki clutches the notes to his chest and closes his eyes.

He nearly drops the grocery bags he's carrying when he spots an unexpected visitor in front of his aunt's house. Clearly, no one is home because there would have been no way he'd be there in the open.

Nishiki sits on the concrete steps leading up to the front door. He leans back on his hands as he stares up at the evening sky. When he hears Kaneki approaching, they meet gazes. Something is different about Nishiki's energy. Kaneki senses it right away and his eyes hold something that was not there before.

He's colder. Ruthless.

"Where've you been half-breed? Slaving away for that bitch of an aunt?" Nishiki asks him.

His voice is different too. Sharp and direct. Kaneki is stunned at his tone.

Kaneki sighs and sets down the bags at his feet. "Well, I certainly don't need this much food for myself."

Kaneki studies Nishiki's blank expression, his eyes narrowing. "I haven't seen you for months. Has everything been okay?"

Nishiki scoffs and then laughs out loud. This surprises Kaneki again and the sound of his laughter sends an unnerving chill through him.

"Have I been okay? Fuck no. I've been through hell," Nishiki states abruptly. His eyes are steely and void of any of the innocence it used to have the last time he visited him and Hide.

"What happened?" Kaneki is almost afraid to ask.

Nishiki stares at him and shakes his head. "Anyway, I just came by to check how my idiot boys are doing." He raises an eyebrow at Kaneki. "Are you and Nagachika still on good terms and all?"

Kaneki smiles. "Of course, we are. He's just been with his dad more often these days. But we're doing good."

NIshiki rubs the back of his neck. "You sure about that? 'Cause I saw him a few hours ago after school."

Kaneki's eyes widen slightly. "Really? What did you guys talk about?"

Nishiki scoffs again. "What kind of boyfriend is he, he didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?" Kaneki asks, his tone revealing his growing impatience.

"His dad's moving to America next week."

Kaneki doesn't speak as he takes in this new information. It all makes senses now, why Hide wanted to be with his dad for the past month.

"Doesn't that mean Nagachika's leaving too? I don't understand why the hell he didn't tell you any of this," Nishiki states with a judgmental tone. "Humans are just really good for nothing except lying and keeping secrets."

Kaneki's brain automatically orders him to move and he turns around fast.

"Hold it!" Nishiki stops him, grabbing his wrist and pulling him back with a hard tug. Kaneki stumbles slightly but he doesn't turn to face the other ghoul. Nishiki's grip on him tightens, his fingers pressing hard into his skin.

"You know the hell I've been through? Well, lemme tell you, my sister was goddamn murdered last month."

Kaneki doesn't try to resist Nishiki, staying motionless as he listens.

"The one responsible for her death? It was the fucking human she was so in love with. And she still loved him when she died. He betrayed her. He lied to her the whole time."

Nishiki sees that Kaneki won't turn to look at him and so he tugs on the half-ghoul once more. "You know what I'm getting at, right? It's true. I knew it all along and yet when I saw you and Nagachika together…" He pauses and then continues. "I thought that maybe I was wrong. It was always peaceful between you two and it shocked me how long you guys stayed together."

The ghoul clenches his teeth. "But humans are trash. They're not meant to love ghouls and we're not meant to love them! You and Nagachika need to part ways. You never know! He could-"

Kaneki finally turns his face towards Nishiki and when he does, the ghoul stops speaking. Nishiki's mouth opens but any other statements are dashed.

Those grey eyes hold no regret, no hint of doubt. They overflow with the strong feeling that Nishiki doesn't understand. He saw it in his sister's eyes and he hates it so much. It's like she is looking back at him. For a split second, he sees his sister and it scares him.

When he's distracted by his vision, Kaneki's hand slips out of his loosened grip and the half-ghoul runs out of his sight. Nishiki doesn't have to question where he's going. The ghoul's outstretched hand trembles for a second before he clutches his forehead. He feels his eyes burning and he curses under his breath.

He doesn't know what's right or wrong anymore. To his disdain, the only thing he can comprehend all too well is that he misses her terribly. He only knows pain.

…

Kaneki takes a moment to catch his breath, bending over his knees with the winter air cutting through his throat. Once he gathers his composure, he walks towards the front of Hide's apartment. He rings the bell once he's at the door, just then realizing that he hasn't rehearsed what he's going to say.

Yet, when he sees Hide answer the door in the next minute, he knows he doesn't need to.

"Ken? It's freezing outside, get inside quick!" Hide says right away once their eyes meet.

Hide grabs Kaneki's arms and gently pulls him into the apartment, closing and locking the door as soon as they're both out of the cold.

Kaneki gives a small smile when Hide takes his hands, rubbing his frozen fingers between his warm ones. He looks up at Hide but his lover doesn't return the gaze. Hide keeps his eyes down at their linked hands.

Kaneki thinks Hide will say something first, but the blond doesn't say a word. He's too quiet and the air between them gets thick. Hide's rigorous rubbing slows to caresses with his thumbs over his pale skin. The half-ghoul leans forward, his head touching the other as he does so.

"I just saw Nishiki in front of my aunt's house. He…hasn't been doing well," Kaneki begins, his voice soft.

Hide's hands tighten over his.

"You're moving, aren't you," Kaneki breaks the ice, his question more like a statement.

Hide finally looks up at him and Kaneki sees the strain in his brown eyes and the concern written across his face.

"I'm sorry for not telling you. It was something I wanted to handle on my own," Hide speaks up.

Kaneki opens his mouth to say more but Hide beats him to it. "And just to be clear, I'm not the one moving. My father is moving to America for his job. I'm staying here."

Hide releases Kaneki's hands and shakes his head, chuckling to himself. "I don't know what lies Nishiki was trying to drill into your head, but I ain't going anywhere."

Kaneki frowns and he takes hold of Hide's forearm. "But…that means you won't be seeing your father anymore."

Hide gives a sad smile and shrugs his shoulders slowly. "Yeah, that's how it's going to be."

"It doesn't have to be that way! Are you sure you want to stay here? I mean…won't you be sad about being away from your dad?" Kaneki says.

"Of course, I'm going to be sad, of course. That's why I've seen him more than I've been seeing you," Hide replies quietly, his eyes downcast.

"Then…you should go…" Kaneki whispers.

Hide looks at him, his brows furrowed. "You want me to leave, Kaneki?"

Kaneki bites his lower lip and pauses for a moment. "Well…it's not about what I want…"

"Well then, it's about what I want, right? And you know, if I leave, what happens to us?" Hide says seriously.

Kaneki's heart skips a beat and his hand clutches at his chest subconsciously. "I…I'd still be here…"

"You'd be here, waiting for me? Kaneki, I don't think so. I'm sure you'd forget me and move on."

"No! How dare you even say that!" Kaneki shouts at him angrily.

Hide's eyes widen, and Kaneki's cheeks redden, his fingers scrunching the front of his jacket.

"How can you even say something like that? Me forget you? I'd rather die," Kaneki says, his head shaking.

Hide sighs and looks away. "It's easy for you to say something like that when I'm still here."

Kaneki steps closer and he grabs Hide's face in his hands, his grey eyes piercing through his saddened brown irises.

"God, Hide, don't you understand me at all? Have I not proven how much I love you? It hurts, Hide. It hurts even thinking about you leaving me," Kaneki tells him, his eyes searching through Hide's soul.

Hide's eyes begin to water, and they wander to Kaneki's soft lips.

"There's no one else for me to love. I've fallen for you completely. Every part of me is yours. Forever," Kaneki breathes. His face inches closer, his eyes closing halfway as his lips brush onto Hide's.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you mad. I'm so stupid," Hide whispers. He shuts his eyes and inhales Kaneki's scent.

"I'm not mad, Hide, and you're not stupid. I just want you to know," Kaneki says gently, his thumb stroking his cheek.

Hide captures Kaneki's waiting mouth, his lips pressing hard onto his. Their tongues touch and meld at an uneven pace, the half-ghoul constantly starving for his taste. Kaneki clutches Hide's shirt, pulling him so close that Hide ends up pushing Kaneki against the door, their bodies colliding roughly. Kaneki's breathless moans arouse Hide so much, driving him to grab his legs. The half-ghoul wraps them around his waist as Hide hoists him up.

They're both panting hard when Hide pulls back, their lips creating a loud, wet smack that makes Kaneki blush deeply as their eyes lock with a fiery tension. Kaneki's hands rest on his shoulders and they move to link around Hide's neck. Hide leans in, his hot mouth caressing Kaneki's lips again before he speaks.

"I'm staying, and you wanna know why?"

Kaneki feels the delightful sting on his mouth from the bruising kiss and his eyes dilate while he stares at his lover.

"I'd rather die too. I'd rather die than live life without you. Even if it means I have to say goodbye to my dad," Hide tells him.

Kaneki's heart soars hearing those words and his head spins. He can't help himself – he thinks he should feel bad about Hide choosing to stay than to leave.

"I'm sorry, I'm always selfish, aren't I? I want you so much," Kaneki whispers, his arms tightening around Hide.

"You're not selfish, Ken. We're just addicted," Hide says against his lips. He parts his mouth, his teeth catching onto Kaneki's bottom lip, making the other hum in content.

"Can I stay with you tonight? I miss you so bad," Kaneki begs him. His legs tighten around Hide's waist.

Hide grins and he begins carrying his lover towards his bedroom. "See, how the hell can we survive being separated in different countries if we can't even handle a few weeks apart?"

Kaneki smiles wide and he hugs Hide closer while he's carried.

…

Kaneki feels so hot and he can't get enough. Once he's lying on Hide's bed, he gazes up at his lover who hovers over him, his hands placed on either side of his head. Hide reads the look in Kaneki's eyes - they hold strong love for him along with a new fire. He watches Kaneki's chest rising from his heavy breathing. Those grey eyes twinkle and contrast with the dark red that flush his pale cheeks. His black hair is in slight disarray and it just entices Hide even more.

"You're so fucking beautiful. What should I do with you, baby," Hide wonders out loud.

Kaneki reveals his kakugan at those words and his hand reaches up, grasping Hide's left cheek. Seeing his mismatched eyes, Hide smirks and he sinks lower, his face mere centimeters from Kaneki's. The half-ghoul licks Hide's lips and Hide allows his own tongue to meet his in response. A string of saliva connects their tongues when Hide pulls back slow. He dips down, taking Kaneki's mouth for another taste and then he wanders to his cheek, his lips tickling Kaneki's soft flesh. The half-ghoul releases stifled whines as his hands roam through Hide's hair.

Hide's mouth drifts lower and they attach to the untouched skin of Kaneki's neck. The half-ghoul gasps and he angles his head so that Hide can have better access. Hide grows dizzy from his lover's scent that fills his nostrils and the sweet taste of his skin on his tongue. His mouth laps at his flesh, biting and nipping. Once he starts sucking hard, Kaneki's moans rise in volume and his hand grabs Hide's shoulder.

"Wait, Hide…" Kaneki says between breaths.

Hide stops immediately, much to the half-ghoul's dismay. Kaneki smiles at him, his eyes shimmering with joy until that fire returns. Their gazes don't break from each other as Kaneki unzips the jacket he wears. Pulling the sleeves off, he tosses it aside and then his fingers grasp the ends of his shirt. Hide finds himself not breathing as Kaneki removes his shirt over his head in a slow manner that teases Hide. Kaneki's reddened lips part and his back arches as the shirt comes off completely. With his impatience, Hide grabs the shirt clinging to Kaneki's wrists and throws it to the floor. Kaneki stares at his lover with hazy eyes, more of his untouched skin exposed for him. Under his intense watch, Hide's smirk widens, and he pulls his shirt off over his back, adding it to the messy heap. Kaneki's eyes shine at the sight of Hide's lean upper body and he can't breathe. He needs him so much; his trembling hands reach for him. Hide's eyes are dark, and he grabs his hands, interlocking their fingers. Kaneki smiles, his parted lips remembering to take in breaths. Hide then takes the time to tease his boyfriend back. He pins Kaneki's hands back down on either side of him and his face sinks to his flesh at a snail's pace, his gaze never leaving those grey eyes that begin to show desperation.

"Hide…" Kaneki repeats, his voice husky.

Once Hide's warm lips touch his chest, Kaneki closes his eyes, focusing on the new sensation. Hide listens to Kaneki's breathing, which begins to pick up speed. The sound of him inhaling and exhaling calms Hide and he continues marking his territory over his lover's flushed skin. His mouth presses onto his skin so tenderly, as if Kaneki's body is fragile like thin paper. Every so often, his tongue peeks out, leaving wet trails that causes Kaneki to gasp and the hand through his blond hair to tighten.

"Keep going…" Kaneki whispers. Hide looks up to see that Kaneki still has his eyes closed and his face is entirely pink.

He could stare at him forever.

Hide picks up where he left off and moves his mouth upwards midway from the abdomen, placing small kisses all the way until he reaches the left side of Kaneki's chest. Here, he feels Kaneki's bounding heart pulse against his mouth and the sensation makes Hide's heart skip multiple beats. He stays here, his mouth touching over where his heart is again and again, as if to show Kaneki how deep his feelings run. Deeper than the ocean. Infinite.

Kaneki is surprised he hasn't passed out. Every one of Hide's touches excites him so much. His veins are aflame and his mind melts and makes everything fuzzy and hot. He wants this to last, he wants time to stop.

But then he feels something wet over where his heart is, and it's different from before. Unlike the marks left by Hide's tongue, he senses droplets over his skin and this is when he opens his eyes and looks directly down at Hide. He gasps when he notices tears dripping from Hide's eyes. The blond freezes in his motions and he doesn't make eye contact.

"Hide?" Kaneki says his name with so much love, Hide feels himself more overcome with whatever emotion he is feeling.

Hide sits up, distancing himself from Kaneki. "Shit, I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm…"

"No, no, please, come here," Kaneki says, his voice soft.

Kaneki pulls himself up and his arms grab for his lover immediately. "Hide, look at me."

Hide sniffs and wipes his eyes but feels them becoming watery again. He can hardly see his lover through his blurred vision. The only thing he can perceive now is Kaneki coming closer to him, Kaneki's breath flowing over his face as the half-ghoul places wet kisses over his lips over and over.

Hide inhales deeply and he blinks away what he thinks are the last of his tears, the droplets rolling slow over his cheeks. Kaneki's hands hold his head in place, those grey eyes taking in every detail of his rare state. He can see the half-ghoul's eyes become glassy as well.

"What are you feeling, my love?" Kaneki asks.

Hide's heart beats hard at how Kaneki addresses him, and he gives a short laugh. "I don't know...everything? I just…"

"Just what?" Kaneki coaxes him. His fingers scratch at his scalp lightly.

"Over the past month, ever since my dad told me he was leaving…I feel…I feel so lonely…" Hide laughs when more tears come to his eyes. "And it's so stupid too! I shouldn't feel lonely because I have you. But my mom died…and now my dad's going away. And I don't know how I'm going to handle being by myself."

Kaneki's brows furrow in deep concern and he draws ever closer to his boyfriend. He takes in every word, all his senses dedicated to Hide only.

"You're stronger than me, Ken. I don't know how you do it. You lost both of your parents and me? My dad's just moving away. I'm so fucking weak…" Hide lets his walls crumble and he can't hold them back. It's like someone broke the dam inside him and he's falling apart. He's drowning.

Kaneki shakes his head and he presses his lips to the side of Hide's mouth. "That's not true, Hide. You may feel this way now, but I want you to know, I'm not stronger than you. The only reason I'm strong now is because of you. It's you, Hide."

Hide's eyes clash with his again and Kaneki smiles warmly. "It's you. And Hide, I hope that I can do the same for you. I want to be by your side forever and ever. I want to make the same impact on you like you're always doing for me."

Hide smiles back and he leans down, pressing another tender kiss to Kaneki's neck. "You're already doing it. You're healing me now."

At those words, Kaneki embraces Hide, their bare chests colliding and their arms wrapping around each other so tight. Hide leans forward, pushing them back on the bed as Kaneki clings to him without breaking their bond. Kaneki breathes in, soaking in the sensation of their skin touching and their body temperatures mixing and melting his soul. His fingers wander over Hide's back and then press hard, locking him in his arms. His nose buries into the side of Hide's neck, the blond hair tickling his cheek.

Hide stays on top of Kaneki for a while, enjoying the way Kaneki holds him and then he rolls to the side. Kaneki doesn't stop touching him, his hands moving over his chest and feeling the soft muscle there. Hide smiles at the way Kaneki's eyes appreciate his upper body like an awestruck child, and he finds himself unable to look away from his lover as well. The taste of Kaneki's skin lingers on his tongue and he moves forward, licking over his chest again and causing the other to gasp in pleasure.

So good…he thinks, marveling at the taste once more.

He feels Kaneki's arms wrapping around his neck and head, his face pressing on the half-ghoul's chest. Hide complies, closing his eyes as he listens to Kaneki's heart and rests against the warmth of his body. Kaneki smiles while his fingers crawl through Hide's hair again, brushing through the soft locks. He hears Hide's breathing begin to slow down and he places his mouth on the top of his lover's head.

Hide's words spiral through Kaneki's brain and he can only think of one more promise to himself.

Another vow.

Hide's breathing is the only music to his ears in the silence.

A week after the New Year arrives, Hide's shared apartment with his father is half empty. Now, it becomes his own. Now he is alone.

The airport is already buzzing in the early morning. The sun hasn't made an appearance yet as the dark skies remain. Hide walks and helps his father with his luggage through the vast airport. He watches his dad prepare himself and makes sure he's at the right gate for his long flight.

They sit together in the waiting area, making promises of keeping in touch.

"Just know, I'm still supporting you from afar, so don't go doing anything crazy and/or reckless, like spending money on some fancy car or whatever," Mr. Nagachika states, ruffling his son's hair.

"Aw man, how the hell am I supposed to live that thug life without my whip?" Hide jokes, throwing his hands up in the air.

"I did not spend years raising my dear son only for him to become a poorly dressed gangster," Mr. Nagachika says. He grabs Hide under his arm into a choke hold, causing his son to laugh and beg for mercy.

"You hurt me, dad! I'll have you know I'll be a star in the fashion industry, just you watch!"

"Dear lord, that'd be the day. Fluorescent, neon pants everywhere? The eye doctors will be pleased with their influx of customers."

Hide's laughs simmer down when they hear the announcements coming on, signaling that his father's flight will be starting in just a few minutes.

Hide sits up and his father looks down at his watch. "Well, looks like I gotta get going."

They both stand up at the same time and make their way to the boarding line. Before his father joins the other passengers, he turns around and grabs his son into a strong embrace. Hide's eyes turn solemn and his hands grasp onto his father's back.

"I'm always here for you, Hide. No matter where I am. Don't be scared."

"Aren't you scared, dad? Going off on a whole new adventure without me?"

His father pulls back to look at him. He smiles. "Of course, I am. My nerves are shot! But you and I always have a knack of hiding how we really feel, huh?"

He places his hand through his son's hair again. The blond locks remind him of his wife and he sighs.

"I'll miss you like I miss her…" he says quietly.

"It's crazy…we've always traveled together…and now…" Hide looks down.

His father keeps his smile on. "I know what's more important to you."

Hide looks up again, frowning. "You're important to me, dad. Don't ever forget that. You're important."

Mr. Nagachika chuckles. "Yes, I know. But…"

The announcements return and inform them of the arrival of his plane.

The two walk further down the shiny floor of the airport. Mr. Nagachika wraps an arm around Hide's shoulders.

"I held back on telling you this for years now, but you probably don't remember when I said Kaneki's mother told me something significant a long time ago."

"Oh yeah, what did she say? Are you finally going to spill the beans?" Hide asks.

His father smiles, thinking fondly of the memory. "What she said stuck with me for a long time. It surprised me, but as the years went on, I realize it's just too true."

He turns to his son and Hide waits with bated breath.

"She said Kaneki found his soulmate. You."

Hide's mouth opens and then it turns into a wide smile.

His father nods. "Yes. And I remember how she looked when she said that. She looked happy. At peace. I remember because it was the first time she truly looked alive. All the stress left her face and I knew, she loved her son. She loves him so much."

"You need to tell Kaneki this. He needs to know," Hide says.

"Oh, you can tell him just fine, my boy. He trusts you completely as much as he adores you," Mr. Nagachika states.

Right before his father boards his plane, he grabs his son into another embrace.

"Take care of yourself, my son."

"You too, dad. Be careful out there without my supervision."

His father laughs at his words and over Hide's shoulders, he looks up and spots someone from afar.

"I hope you and Kaneki stay happy together. I know you two will."

With that, he breaks away from his son and takes his luggage. He walks further in, this time alone, and he doesn't look back once.

Once his father disappears past the gate, Hide gazes down for a moment, thinking of what his dad said before turning around. When he does, his eyes widen at seeing Kaneki standing there a few feet away, waiting for him.

"Ken? Wha-what are you doing here?" Hide asks. He quickly closes the distance between them.

Kaneki is panting hard, as if he had run miles. "I took the earliest bus possible this morning to get here and then went on a goose chase trying to find the right gate. I'm glad you told me where your dad would be boarding because otherwise I'd be lost here forever."

Kaneki continues taking in oxygen, his hand placed over his heaving chest. Hide smiles as Kaneki mumbles about how winded he is. When the half-ghoul settles himself, he notices the melancholy sweeping over his lover's expression and he closes the final gap between them.

He doesn't care how many people are around them.

He holds Hide's cheeks in his hands, bringing their eyes together. Kaneki's smile is bright, already shooing away the dark clouds hovering over his boyfriend's mind.

"I'll take care of you, Hide. I'll protect you from everyone and everything. You won't be alone," Kaneki tells him his second vow out loud. His voice is confident and determined.

Hide is shaken by this new side of Kaneki he witnesses. The side that makes Hide feel incredibly safe.

"Thank you, Ken," Hide replies quietly, his eyes shining.

Kaneki grins and he kisses the tip of Hide's nose, his heart jumping when he finally hears his lover's laugh.

They link hands, their fingers fitting with each other like puzzle pieces as they hang around at the airport, waiting until they see Mr. Nagachika's plane take off. The sky begins to brighten as daybreak approaches.

"Off to America he goes. You know my English is better than his," Hide states with a chuckle. His eyes follow the plane for a while.

"I need to work on my English. It's embarrassing. Don't even dare asking me," Kaneki says, already cutting Hide off from making him say any English words.

The boys are in no hurry to head home. They decide to explore the airport for a while, watching other planes take off into the sky. Soon, the sun is bright and letting its rays break throughout the airport, through the glass separating the boys from the outside. Hide admires how the rays gleam against Kaneki's black hair when they walk past the areas where it shines vibrantly.

He strengthens his grip on his lover's hand when he tells Kaneki about what his mother said. Kaneki cries immediately when he hears that his mother loves him. They have to stop as Hide kisses him all over his tear-soaked face.

"I wish she told me… She hurt me, and I thought she hated me," Kaneki says through sobs. His face is red, and he buries himself against Hide's chest.

"She loves you, Ken. Sometimes, it may not seem that way, but I don't believe any mother could ever hate her child," Hide tells him, his hand brushing his black hair while his other arm wraps securely around Kaneki's waist.

Kaneki calms down, the left side of his face pressed onto Hide's chest and his right hand over his heart. Hide sways them both back and forth as they stand in place for a spell.

"It's you and me against the world," Hide speaks his thought aloud. His eyes follow another plane ascending into the blue sky.

Kaneki turns his head, following where Hide is looking. "Sometimes I wish airplanes were like shooting stars…" he admits quietly.

"What's stopping you, baby? Make a wish. I'll do it too," Hide tells him.

They continue holding each other, their eyes on the plane and their minds thinking of their one wish.

The airport becomes more alive the longer they stay, and while they wander aimlessly among a stream of rushing strangers, the wish they make sails off into the sky like the airplanes.

Rising higher and higher like their feelings for each other that never grow old.