My name is Hoi and this is my story. This story started out the same in all universes and diverged later, though, in all universes, it ended with me dying, since this is the only thing us incels are good at: dying!

I was a member of an organization consisting of the greatest incels in the history of inceldom. I mean, seriously, compared to losers like us, the author of this fic is a player!

During our gatherings, we would play RPGs, wear cool hoods, pretend to be magicians and pester female cosplayers through facebook. Occassionally, we would go through Japanese puberty phases, believing to be pokemon.

One day, though, one of us broke through the limits of how low even any of us, the elite incels of inceldom, could fall. His incelness became so great that, not only did he believe to be a pokemon, but he actually turned into one! A huge beast called Hirudegarn!

That moment, a sun ray shot through the clouds, as if the excessive amounts of incelness opened a portal through dimensions, and we heard two voices resonating across the desert.

'Vegeta!' the first voice snapped. 'What does the scouter say about those freaky weirdos' incel level?'

'IT'S OVER 9000!' the second voice responded.

'Hirudegarn!' Hirudegarn let out his pokemon cry, as if he felt joy.

Soon, we had an idea. Why not use Hirudegarn to destroy the world? That way, no one would get laid! And so, it was decided; since we couldn't get laid, being the freaks we were, we would make sure that no one else would be able to either!

At first, our plan seemed bound to be successful. One after another, planets were falling apart because of Hirudegarn.

Until a group of magicians (real ones, not wannabes like us) sealed him into two siblings, Tapion and Minotia. Then, those two guys (or maybe they were chicks; with Japanese anime, you never know) were sealed in music boxes.

Our group didn't give up, though. We searched and searched and searched, until we found Minotia's box. Minotia was killed, but we managed to seal Hirudegarn's lower half in me.

Then we were attacked by the soldiers of Prince Cold, over something as trivial as destroying his highnesses planets! One of us stepped forward and said bravely:

'You see, Cold's soldiers, you're not dealing with the average incels anymore. We are super incels!'

A moment of awkward silence until one of the soldiers said: 'Err, I hate to break this to you, but Frost Demons fear Super Saiyans, not Super Incels!'

'Oh,' the aforementioned member of our group said, sweatdropping. 'In that case, I'm all out of options.'

The soldiers killed all of us except me, because they feared that killing me might release Hirudegarn. So they put me into cryogenic sleep, like Walt Disney, Elvis Presley, Michael Jackson and so many other celebrities across the universe.

How I managed to escape will probably remain a mystery forever (or until Salagir decides to reveal it in some future chapter).

In most universes, I never found a way to open Tapion's box and died a lone virgin, my last words being 'I wasted my life without getting any pussy, WAAAHH!'

In universes 3, 4, 16, 18, I found some super powerful beings who could possibly open the box. I fearlessly went to ask for their help. I mean what were the chances that, being surrounded by super powerful beings who would realize my true colors once the beast was out, I would end up killed either by them or by being crushed by Hirudegarn? Yet, that highly unlikely thing kept happening every time!

Anyway, bye now, degenerate fellows. Keep making our organization proud with your incelness till the next time this fic is updated.