The auditorium is packed, which was expected, since I am the lecturer. I'm standing on the podium, waiting for the unidentified, resonating voice to introduce me: 'Ladies (assuming any ladies would read this perv's stories) and gentlemen, here he is, the genius behind the greatest masterpieces on Fanfiction Net.'

Everybody cheers. After they've calmed down, I press a button on a remote control, which activates a projector.

'First of all, let's see what is going on at our abridged tournament right now,' I declare.

Everybody's eyes (including mine) turn to the screen...

U9 Krillin and U3 Tapion are about to start their match.

Tapion takes out a pokeball and, after an unnecessary anime pose, tosses it while crying, 'HIRUDEGARN, I CHOOSE YOU!'

The giant beast comes out of the pokeball. 'Hirudegarn, Hirudegarn!' it cries, shaking the stadium.

With a lunge of its tail, it tries to get Krillin, who immediately gets surrounded by a crimson aura.

'KAIOKEN TIMES HELLIFIKNOWHOWMANY,' he cries and dodges. Then, making his aura more intense, he fires a blast while yelling, 'KAIOKEN TIMES DUNNOMANEVENMORETHANBEFOREIGUESS!'

'Well, it seems nothing interesting is going on at the stadium right now,' I deduce and turn back to my huge audience. 'So, let's move to your questions.'

One of the members raises his hand and asks: 'Why do you never write all the way to the end of the textbox?'

'We've been through this many times,' I sigh. 'My experience has taught me that, whenever I write all the way to the edge of the textbox, my lines appear broken in the published version.'

(Edit from the future (28/10/2019): Nowadays, I have figured out how paragraphing works on this site and I'm on my way to modifying my fics into a proper layout.)

Next question, from someone else: 'Do you have any calls to make regarding the future chapters of Salagir's original creation which you usurp in order to satisfy your attention whoring tendencies?'

I think about it for a while. 'I think XXI is Old Kai,' I answer, in all seriousness. 'Universe 5 diversion point is probably the time Old Kai fused with that witch; in U5, Old Kai snatched back the earring before that happening.'

Meanwhile, at DBM Abridged stadium...

Hirudegarn fires a punch at Krillin. The dwarf catches it with both his arms, still surrounded by the crimson aura. 'Kaioken... times... whocountsanymore...' he says, in a low, distorted voice, panting and struggling.

The interview continued with several more boring questions, which had to do mainly with complaints about how my stories' pace is too fast, how I never bother much with describing the surroundings, how sloppy, unprofessional and disrespectful to the readers my writing style seems etc

Finally, someone asks this: 'When U16 Pan died in Chapter 9, what happened with her condoms that got scattered off her bra?'

My eyes widen. 'This... this is...' I begin, in a low voice. 'THE GREATEST QUESTION I'VE EVER BEEN ASKED!'

With a delighted expression, I get off the podium and approach the guy who asked me that. 'Wanna hang out?' I ask.

'Yes,' he answers, excited.

We leave the auditorium together.

A few days later...

'So how was your day with Hector?' the other people who attended my lecture ask the aforementioned person.

'Don't remind me!' he snaps. 'He was talking about how awesome he is the whole time. That guy is seriously messed up. He should be institutionalized.'