Chapter 2 – Regret

Ryou, turned from the window to see Kyou frozen in place.

"What have you done?" Ryou's expression was one of unbridled rage as she turned away from her sister and ran down to help Tomoya.

"Ugh… geeze, my head hurts." I woke up looking at a whiteish ceiling "Where am I?" Ryou's face suddenly appeared in my line of sight, her deep blue eyes were bloodshot and there were bags under her eyes. She looked like she hadn't slept in a week.

"Tomoya-kun, you're awake!" She pressed a button on the wall by my head, then leaned forward and hugged me. Pain lanced through me as she squeezed me.

"Gahh! Ryou, that really hurts."

"I'm sorry Tomoya-kun, I've been so worried about you."

"Been? Where am I? what the hell happened?"

"You're in the hospital, y-you had a fall. How much do you remember?"

"I don't know it's a bit fuzzy, I remember walking to school this morning but that's it." Ryou's lip trembled and tears began running down her cheeks. "What? What's wrong?"

"T-Tomoya-kun, that was ten days ago."

"TEN DAYS!"

"Please try to stay calm, you need to keep still. Please it's important that you don't try to move."

"Try not to move? Why not? Why have I got this thing round my neck?" Ryou simply broke down at my questions, she held her head in her hands and sobbed. "That bad huh?"

A moment later a nurse walked into the room.

"Ah, awake are we, good." The nurse walked over to Ryou and placed her arm around her. "Come on Ryou-chan, you've got him back now, it'll be okay." After Ryou had calmed down a bit the nurse gave her a tissue and looked over to me. "I'll go and tell the doctor that you're awake. Try to be gentle with her, she's had it rough."

"Yeah… sure." The nurse placed her hand on Ryou's shoulder and smiled sympathetically before she left. "Ryou, are you okay? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."

"No, no it's not your fault, it's just I haven't been sleeping very well, and I've been so worried…" she reached over and placed her hand on mine and gave it gentle squeeze. Despite all of my unanswered questions, it was reassuring.

"Ah, Okazaki-san, you're back with us, you've had us quite concerned." He paused and looked over at Ryou. "Do you want to stay here while I talk to Okazaki-san, or would you rather wait outside?"

"No, thank you, I'm not going to leave him." There was a determination in her eyes that would have even made me back down. The doctor just smiled.

"I thought you'd say that somehow. I expect you have a few questions Okazaki-san."

"You could say that yes, and call me Tomoya, Okazaki-san makes me think you're referring to my dad."

"Hmm, very well. On the subject of your father, do you know how we might be able to contact him? We haven't been able to get hold of him yet. We sent someone to your house, but we got no response."

"Why am I not surprised," I couldn't help but feel bitter, nearly two in a coma and he's still too busy drinking. "You could try the local bars, if he isn't there, he's most likely passed out drunk on the floor."

"Hmm, that being the case we'll have to inform the police, they'll need to talk to you anyway given the circumstances."

"The police? What circumstances?" Ryou's lip began to tremble again. "Never mind that for now, it can wait." A gave Ryou's hand a squeeze.

"Alright then, I'll leave that for another time. Suffice to say you had a fall from a significant height, as you landed your back struck a wall and then your head hit the floor."

"My back… that's why I'm not supposed to move is it?" Ryou nodded, unable to meet my eyes.

"Yes, I'm afraid so, the impact fractured your L3 and L4 vertebrae, by keeping you as still as possible we hope to limit the damage to the spinal cord. We've inserted some pins to stabilize the area."

"Limit the damage… so there already is some damage." It occurred to me that the only areas that hurt were my right shoulder, my left hand and my head.

"I'm afraid so, but we haven't been able to access the damage until you woke up. Your right shoulder was broken by an impact," He glanced at Ryou briefly, who was looking down still unable to look me in the eye. "It appears it was broken some years ago, we have installed an artificial joint, so you should regain most of your range of motion if not all of it. As for your head, you're blessed with a thick skull so the damage was not as bad as should have been. The neurologist will talk to you about that."

"I'll get the range of motion in my shoulder back?"

"Yes, you should. I assume you had some limitations due to the old injury?"

"Yeah, I couldn't raise my arm above my shoulder."

"Well that's good at least, can I ask how it was injured in the first place."

"I got into an argument with my dad, and he shoved me into a wall." The doctor frowned at the ever-worsening image of my dad.

"I'm afraid I am ethically bound to report that."

"Do what you've got to do doc, it's not like he's been around much in the last few years." The frown deepened.

"Hmm, let's see what we've got to work with shall we." The doctor pulled a plastic pen like thing from his pocket and dragged it up the sole of my left foot. "Did you feel that?"

"No." He did the same to my right foot. "Still nothing." The poking continued, I didn't feel anything until her reached my right hip and I could still feel that I needed to pee, so that was something. They took me off for a CAT scan. Unfortunately, the results were fairly conclusive, baring a miracle I would never walk again.

So far, I'd been awake for 4 hours and the only time Ryou left my side when I went in for the CAT scan. After the poking and prodding came to a close, I was told that they could remove the neck brace.

"Wow that's a relief, man that thing was uncomfortable." I was finally able to see Ryou properly, she was kind of a mess frankly. "Have you been here the whole time?"

"Yes, I meant it when I said I wouldn't leave you. I love you, and I don't care if you need a wheelchair." The reality of my situation hit me like a ton of bricks, and I cried like a baby, while Ryou cradled my head and whispered that everything would be okay, and she take care of me.

About three hours later, there was a knock at the door to my room.

"Hello?"

"C-can I come in…"

"Kyou?"

"Don't you think you've done enough!? Get out! GET OUT!" Ryou stood up and screamed at the top of her voice. Kyou recoiled from Ryou's rage, I have to admit I was stunned myself. Tears formed in Kyou's eye's and she ran out of the room.

"Woah, what was that all about?"

"It's… it's all her fault."

"What? What do you mean it's her fault?" Ryou, sat back down, and held my hand in both of hers.

"She threw a dictionary at you, it hit your shoulder and knocked you out of the second-floor window."

"Wow… hey, are you okay? I mean, she's your sister and all, it's got to have been hard on you."

"I'll be okay, we'll be okay."

"We meaning, you and her, or you and me?"

"You and me, there is no me and her anymore." I decided it was best to leave that alone for now, I wasn't going to do any good while she was still so angry. "Thank you for thinking of me, even after everything that's happened, you're so good to me."

"Ryou, after everything you've done for me already, how could I not think of you." Ryou raised her head and gave me a weak smile. "Besides, I love you Ryou. I would do anything to help you feel better." Ryou scooted her chair closer to the bed and laid her head on my shoulder.

"Thank you, I love you too."

The following morning, a police officer arrived to take statements.

"Good morning, Okazaki-san it's good to see you awake at last, Good morning Ryou-san, you look a little better rested than last time we met."

"Yes, thank you, I managed to get some sleep last night."

"I haven't managed to get her to go home and sleep or eat something resembling real food yet mind you."

"I don't think you'll get far on that front; she's quite determined that she is staying put. So, the doctors have given me some troubling reports about your father."

"I don't doubt it."

"I'm told he hasn't been in contact with the hospital yet, and I was told that he broke your shoulder a couple of years ago, is that correct?"

"Yes, it is, if it makes any difference it wasn't intentional."

"It's child abuse, regardless of whether he intended to injure you or not, the mere fact that he shoved you hard enough break bones, it's still child abuse, and him not doing anything about you being in a coma, despite letters put through the door and hospital staff trying to get him to answer the door, that's criminal neglect."

"I err, I don't know umm, what will happen to him?"

"He'll do time for sure."

"What happens to me then?"

"Once you get out of hospital, you'll most likely go into foster care. But you'll be here for a while yet so there's no need to worry about that for a while yet."

"Right…"

"Getting back to the present situation, do you remember what happened?"

"No, I only remember up to the morning of the acci… when I fell."

"Interesting that you stopped yourself from saying accident."

"From what I'm told, I'm not sure the term applies… I don't know, it's a lot to process."

"Hmm, yes I'm sure you've got a lot to think about. Have you been given a prognosis yet?"

"I assumed you'd have been told already."

"No, now you're awake and not in imminent danger, doctor patient privilege applies."

"I have been told… I will… I…"

"He will need a wheelchair from now on." Ryou finished the sentence I couldn't.

"For what little it's worth I'm sorry to hear that."

"Yeah, me too."

"There is the question of what you want to do regarding Fujibayashi Kyou."

"What I want to do?"

"Yes, if you don't want to press charges, we can't prosecute her unless we decide it was attempted murder. But I doubt that'll happen. I have spoken to her, and she does seem genuinely remorseful, and she has been suspended from school pending our investigation."

"I don't know right now; do I have to decide right now?"

"No, I can give you a few days if you want."

"Yeah, thanks. I don't know if I want to ruin her life just yet." The policeman raised an eyebrow but nodded.

"You're a nicer guy than I think I'd be in your shoes. Your girlfriend here already has my card, so when you have an answer."

"yeah, thanks again." He smiled and left us alone again. "It just keeps getting better and better doesn't it."

"We'll work something out." Ryou gave my hand a squeeze, I was more and more glad she was here for me.

The day after I was finally able to persuade Ryou to go home for a few hours, to get some sleep and at the very least see her parents, I'm sure they'd be worried about her.

She was back first thing in the morning.

"Tomoya-kun? The nurse said you were awake."

"Good morning gorgeous, I'm really glad to see you."

"Good morning, I missed you too." She came over and gave me a brief kiss. "I spoke to my parents last night."

"Good, did you talk about anything in particular?"

"You mostly?"

"Me? What about me?"

"They're willing to foster you when you get out of here."

"What? Really? But they barely know me."

"They know all they need to know about you, they know that I love you and you love me. They also know that despite everything she's done; you didn't immediately want Kyou locked up."

"I have no idea what to say."

"You don't need to say anything just yet. They won't hold it against you if you do decide to prosecute Kyou, okay?"

"Yeah, I've been thinking about that too. I don't think I want to prosecute."

"Are you sure? I understand if you do."

"No, I think one life irreparably damaged is enough. I don't want to be responsible for permanently altering her future options."

"Don't be so sure your life won't go anywhere, plenty of people in wheelchairs do very well for themselves."

"Maybe… I've been thinking about how lucky I am to have you too, you've been so supportive already, I just wanted you to know how much it means to me." Ryou leaned forward and kissed me again.

"I love you, and nothing is going to change that."

Ryou rang the police officer that had been on my case to tell him what I'd decided. He needed some paperwork signed and he needed to see me about another matter as well.

"I must admit, I was surprised you decided not to prosecute."

"There's no possible good that could come from it."

"Well that's your decision to make. On the other subject we discussed last time I was here."

"My dad you mean?"

"Yes, he's been arrested for child abuse and criminal neglect, I wasn't sure it was as bad as you'd said but, we had to force entry in the end. We found him on the living room floor just like you said. Not to mention the mess. Did you want him to visit? We can arrange it if you want."

"I don't have anything to say to him."

"I thought you'd say that somehow. I've also been told you have foster carers arranged already."

"Right, yeah, the Fujibayashi's have offered to take me in."

"Are you sure you'll be okay being around their other daughter so much."

"That won't be an issue." It was Ryou who answered, quite quickly too.

"Oh?"

"Alternative accommodation arrangements are being made." It was news to me.

"Fair enough. If you'll sign these, and I can get out of your way."

"So, umm… do you want to explain what 'Alternative accommodation arrangements' means."

"We have a small apartment behind our house, it was originally for my grandmother, but she's already passed away, so it's not really used. You're not angry with me are you."

"Angry?"

"Well you haven't really said yes to them fostering you yet and I just went ahead and…"

"It's okay, I was going to accept anyway, it's not like I have a lot of options, and this way I get to be near you too. There's no telling where I'd end up otherwise. Plus, I think I need to talk to Kyou before too much longer."

"Why do you want to talk to her?"

"I need to talk to her about what happened, and what happens from here on."

"Why?" I was well aware that Ryou was angry at Kyou, but I didn't expect her to be quite so hostile.

"Because I think it'll help both her and me, move on. Don't get me wrong I have no intention of making friends, but the last thing I want is to be responsible for her dragging her guilt around for years to come. I don't need that kind of baggage."

"I think I understand."

"Thanks, gorgeous, you don't have to be here when she comes if you don't want to."

"No, I'm not sure I'd be comfortable with her in here alone with you."

"I really don't think she's going to attack me."

"I know, but she's unstable enough as it is. I just don't trust her."

"Okay, it'd be nice to have you here anyway."

"Thank you, when do you want to see her?"

"The sooner the better really."

"Okay, I'll get Daddy to tell her." It didn't go unnoticed that she was using an intermediary rather than telling Kyou herself, but it was understandable.

An hour later there was a knock at the door.

"Come in." Kyou stepped in, looking worse than Ryou did when I first woke up.

"T-t-Tomoya, Ryou, thank you for seeing me."

"I'm here for Him, not you. And I don't think it's appropriate for you to continue calling him by his given name after what you've done." Kyou flinched at the venom in Ryou's voice.

"Easy Ryou, I don't need her running off before I've finished talking to her. Oh, and Fujibayashi-san she's right about my name."

"Sorry, Tomoya-kun, I lost my temper."

"That's okay sweetheart, I understand." Kyou stood a couple feet away from the end of my bed, looking down, she looked a lot like a little girl that was about to be told off by a teacher or parent.

"So, Fujibayashi-san, are you aware of the consequences of your lack of self-control?" Kyou nodded. "I'm sorry I didn't catch that."

"Y-yes I know that…" Her voice trailed off.

"That you've paralyzed me, put me in a wheelchair for the rest of my life."

"Yes." She had tears running down her face now, but I couldn't summon up much sympathy for her.

"Just so we're clear, I don't hate you, but every time I see you, it'll remind me of what I've lost, but I don't want you to have any sense of obligation to me, you don't owe me anything."

"W-why, didn't you…"?

"Why didn't I have you put in jail?" A nod "No good could come from it. One life damaged from this is more than enough."

"Thank you."

"I don't have it in me to forgive you, not after what you've taken from me. Did you want to say anything Ryou?"

"No, thank you Tomoya, but I have nothing to say to her."

"Thank you, Fujibayashi-san, you may leave."

"Can I just say something first?"

"There is nothing I want to hear from you right now." Kyou simply turned around and left.

As much as I know what I said to her was far from kind, I think she needed to hear it, and I definitely needed to say it. One day I may be able to forgive her, but until then, seeing her would just be a reminder of what I'd lost.

It was six weeks before the doctors said I would be able leave soon. In that time, Furukawa and Kotomi-chan visited a few times, there was lots of hand wringing and tears to begin with, but they calmed down and were able to interact with me normally, more or less.

Unfortunately for Furukawa, she had been just a few feet away from where I landed, and the stress and shock of seeing one of her best friends in that state was too much for her fragile health, she'd be off school ill herself for the better part of a month.

I had tried on several occasions to tell Ryou that she should return to school. I had missed so much school already that I would have to repeat the year and I didn't want her to have to do the same. Then she dropped her bombshell.

"Tomoya-kun, the school has already agreed to allow me to repeat the year with you, that way if you want any help, I can be there for you."

"What? When was that decided?"

"It was two weeks ago, and before you protest it was actually Mom's idea." Obviously in the last couple of weeks I'd met Ryou's parents a number of times, they were very kind and friendly, we got on really well thankfully and they did a lot to make me feel less guilty about imposing on them, especially after I heard that renovation work was being done to the apartment I was being provided with. By the time I move in, it'll be kitted out well enough that I'd be able to live independent of any outside help, not that Ryou was going to allow that.

I was increasingly beginning to believe that I'd be more than happy to spend the rest of my life with her. Although when the doctor cheerily informed us that we'd still be able to have children, we both turned bright red. Making both the doctor and nurse laugh out loud. But I thought I saw a trace of a smile on Ryou's face too.

Once they'd decided my spine was at no further risk of damage I was finally allowed to sit up.

"Finally, I can get a decent hug." Ryou giggled and came over to claim her hug. "I have missed this so much."

"Me too." I felt a tear drop on to my shoulder as she held me. "I love you so much."

"Love you too."

"I can come back later if you want." We'd both completely forgotten the doctor was still here.

"No, no that's not necessary." Ryou was blushing slightly as she sat back down.

"As I was saying, now we're confident your spine is stable, we can get you started on physiotherapy."

"Good, I was starting to get a bit restless being stuck on my back the whole time."

"I'm sure your physio will be glad to have a willing victim. I'm sure I don't need to ask if Ryou-chan will be here to help you."

'Victim? Doesn't he mean patient?'

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I know the answer to that one."

"There is unfortunately a downside to your spine's level of recovery."

"It means I'm not going to get any more function back doesn't it."

"I'm afraid so, I wouldn't rule it out entirely, but it's extremely unlikely at this point."

"If I'm honest I hadn't expected to get anything back anyway."

"Most people in your situation fall into depression, but then again most people don't have someone as devoted as Ryou-chan."

"Yeah, the same thought occurred to me." Ryou just smiled and took my hand.

Two weeks of gruelling physio later I was convinced that physiotherapist was the wrong job title, more like physio-terrorist, my physio didn't disagree. But it was worth it, my upper body strength was far better than it was before my fall, and my shoulder was as good as new, almost like it had never been broken. I was able to get around in my wheelchair pretty well. With that confirmed by my physio, the doctor signed my release paperwork and wished me luck.

I was met outside the doors Ryou's parents.

"You ready to get out of here Tomoya-san?" Ryou's father smiled at me.

"Are you kidding me, I've been ready for weeks."

"I'm sure you have been, let's go get you settled in your new apartment shall we. I can get my youngest daughter back now at last. We've barely seen her lately."

"I did try to get her to go home a little more, but she wouldn't have it, she's more stubborn than I'd expected."

"Yes, she gets that from her mother."

"She does not."

"Of course not dear, sorry dear." Thankfully they were joking, living with them was going to be fun.