Chapter 23

P O V: Antonio Dawson

"Feel my heartbeat Sylvie, it's here beating for you," tears fell down my checks, I am not too proud too big to cry openly. She couldn't talk to me even though she's awake, her breathing is fast shallow, she's developed pneumonia. she's on oxygen but it's not helping. I can see the darkened rims under her eyes, she's lost so much weight in the past three weeks. Her skin is so pale so thin it's like paper meche. I'm afraid it will tear if there's too much pressure placed on it. So I kiss each check gently, holding her hand to my chest.

"Sylvie you can't scare me like this baby please I need you to fight," Maybe it's unfair of me to ask her to keep fighting. She's in so much pain I can see it hear it with every gasp, wheeze. "I know your afraid, so am I baby, I feel lost, scared to death, my legs can't even support me, not when I think about losing you," She's trying to talk but every attempt leaves her gasping, coughing almost choking, having to quit so she can suck oxygen back in big gulps. "I won't leave you though Sylvie I promise you, I am here, I love you baby so much,"

"I know your fighting baby I know your fighting so hard to stay with me to be the mother Ambrosia deserves, she's so beautiful Sylvie our little girl that we created, she's amazing, it's okay to be weak we all are at some point, I'll be stronger Sylvie, when you feel weakened I'll be your wings to carry you,"

Cancer has taken it's toll on her it doesn't care that she's barely 29 years old, or that she has a brand new daughter or a family that loves her. Cancer has spoken it's made itself at home in her blood, her bone, her fluids. "If you need to cry, I'll hold you," I wrapped my arms around her frail body holding her. She didn't cry truth be told she had no strength left for tears. I could hear her rattled breathing.

"No judgment Sylvie, just love sweetheart," I kissed her hand the finger where her engagement ring should be looked pale and thin still I placed a kiss on it. "I'll love you, dry your eyes when you cry, kiss you beautiful soft lips so hard your knees will go weak. Stroking her thinned hair I felt her relax a little. "Don't try so hard Sylvie you need to rest, whatever it is your trying to say can wait til you regain your strength,"

Kissing her head her checks her chest rose and fell evenly now, her scent of strawberry lingered in the air, "I'm so lost without you, my kids Sylvie, I'm scared to death baby, I need you to win this fight," She squeezed my hand her eyes closing she's exhausted. Maybe I'm putting too much pressure on her right now was that what she's trying to tell me?

Her hand was warm even though her body was shivering from the chills, "I'm not afraid to say I am in love with you Sylvie, I'll hold your hand in public, I will shout it from the rooftop of 51, I don't care how people look at us, talk about us or say it happened too fast, or that we got together just because you got pregnant, I'll be careless with my heart because I know it's in amazing hands, I found my diamond. I will keep you shining forever if you promise to give me forever."

Looking up towards the heavens I lifted my voice to the Lord. "Will you give me forever Lord? I know I am not the most patient of men nor am I perfect or listen to you or your commends all the time, I've lost so many women I have loved, Laura, Julie, Sasha, Hailey, please don't punish my kids or my lady I get it she's you child you have the un-divine right to call her home when you see fit, but please Lord I am begging you not to we've lost so many ones we've loved, can't you spare her? We need her we love her to,"

"Lord you've taken Hailey from us a hero's death is still a death, gone is gone I know she's with the angels, I hope she's at peace now, please can't you spare an angel? Ambrosia needs her mama, I need my mama, can the angels wait a little longer before they take Sylvie home?"

Her eyes opened as she stared straight ahead I turned excepting to see someone at her door, but it was empty. Why was she staring? Why was she trying to point. "Baby?"

I kissed her check as she looked at me trying to talk again. "Shay, Hailey...I got to go...Antonio...I love ... You….I'm sorry... their call…. ing."

My scream filled the hall as hands physically removed me from the room which quickly filled with medical professionals. Was this his answer to my prayer?