He can't see anything except the bandages wrapped around his head. Before, he could only see pitch black. His fingers twitch and he already knows his entire body is sore before he even tries to move a muscle.

He doesn't know how long he's been unconscious, but judging by how stiff his limbs are, it's been a while. Maybe one or two days at the most.

They must have injected him with way more than the regular dose of sedatives. His throat is dry, and he coughs, his chest aching with the simple action.

He pulls himself up to a sitting position slowly, his arms buckling slightly under his weight. The area in his arm where the guards punctured him many times shoots sharp pains throughout his upper limbs. Once he's sitting upright, his head spins and throbs. A terrible ache pounds and it hurts much more than anything else. He grasps his forehead, his fingers digging into his hair.

Once his headache settles to a tolerable level of pain, his fingers clutch the bandages covering his eyes and he carefully tugs the front of it down his face. The dim light in his cell is harsh on his sensitive eyes and he doesn't open them right away until a few minutes later. Once he does, he realizes his vision is still quite blurry, but thankfully, he isn't blind. His healing abilities are still working, albeit slower so long as he's trapped here.

He pulls the rest of the bandages off, setting them to the side on his mattress. He stares down at his hands, flexing his fingers as his vision experiences varying degrees of astigmatism.

Then, it dawns on him.

His breathing quickens and his heartbeat races. He lifts his head, looking around and noticing that he is alone again. It's too quiet. He can't sense anyone outside.

H-Hide…Hide…

It can't have been his imagination. He knows Hide was here with him. His lover is alive.

He's not dead!

Everything comes back to him in pieces. The words Hide said to him. The way Hide held him in his strong arms.

Kaneki touches his lips gently. He could almost feel the sting of Hide's warm mouth on his.

He has to get out of here.

Despite his blurred vision, he crawls towards the metal door of his cell. His breathing is heavy and his fingers scratch against the door. He can feel the claw marks where he had done this many times before.

His headache comes back in full force suddenly and he gasps in pain. He leans his forehead against the cold metal, calming his breathing as he does.

The door opens, causing him to fall forward. His palms catch him in time before he lands on his face and he blinks a few times in an attempt to clear the blurring. His weak eyes spot a pair of familiar black shoes.

"Get up, number 240."

Arima's cold voice echoes in the silence. The door shuts loudly, and the man steps into the room. Kaneki doesn't meet his gaze at first, keeping his eyes on the ground. He can sense Arima standing to the left side of him.

Surprisingly, Arima doesn't force him up as the other guards usually would. Hesitating, Kaneki lifts his head, turning to look up at the man keeping him here. He narrows his eyes, the blurriness making him dizzy the more he tries to focus.

Arima notices the dark shadows under Kaneki's bloodshot eyes. He can tell the half-ghoul can't see well just yet. The boy is too thin, too pale. He needs to do something different.

Arima steps forward, causing Kaneki to flinch on instinct. Kaneki's fingers curl on the ground in defense but Arima simply reaches his hand out, palm facing up.

"Let me help you."

Kaneki breathes in deeply. He squints his eyes at his hand, and then looks up at Arima's face. He can't make out his expression too well, but based on his voice, the man doesn't seem to have any malicious intent for now.

Kaneki reaches his hand out and places it onto the man's, who immediately aids him to stand up. Arima takes hold of Kaneki's other arm, guiding the half-ghoul to his feet. Kaneki winces at how unbelievably stiff he is, but he manages to follow Arima's direction.

Without a word, Arima takes him back to his bed, setting him down on the edge of the mattress.

"You've been unconscious for two days straight. Ever since you've had that unexpected visitor. The young man, Hideyoshi Nagachika."

Kaneki's eyes widen and his heart hammers hearing his lover's name. "Wh-where…"

Kaneki grasps his sore throat and he swallows. He attempts to speak again, his voice rough. "Where is he?"

Arima clasps his hands behind his back. "He made quite the risk coming here. He ought to be punished. No one from the outside is allowed here at all costs."

Kaneki's breathing speeds up and before he can say anything, Arima continues. "But your friend is back home. He's safe."

"He's alive," Kaneki states, his voice stronger on those words.

Arima looks to him and Kaneki glares. The investigator breaks eye contact and keeps his gaze focused on the name written on the wall. Hide's name in blood.

"Let me go," Kaneki says. His hands clench onto the mattress.

"You will in time. As long as you behave, you'll be released in a timely manner. So far, you've been rather ruthless."

Kaneki lowers his head. When he thinks about Hide, he feels his face getting hot and he can barely contain himself. His chest is empty. His eyes sting and burn with every blink.

They stay quiet for a while and Arima hears Kaneki's breathing become ragged as the boy silently weeps. He looks up, recalling Hide's words about the half-ghoul. The expression on the human's face as he spoke of him.

"That boy would give up his life for you…"

Arima walks towards the door of the cell, leaving Kaneki alone once more. Kaneki had heard what the investigator said, and he wipes the tears off his cheeks. He pulls his legs up on the bed and lies sideways. He tries to keep his mind blank, but he can't get Hide out of his head. He turns, rubbing his forehead on the mattress and imagining Hide sleeping next to him.

It hurts…

The cell door opens, but Kaneki doesn't budge, keeping his memories of Hide playing while the man enters the room. By scent alone, he can tell it's Arima again.

"Here, take this."

When he speaks, Kaneki is forced to exit his daze and he pushes himself up to a sitting position. Arima holds out something in front of him and Kaneki looks down to see a book.

"Perhaps this will help you take your mind off whatever's terrorizing you. I can't do much. But as long as you don't cause any trouble, you'll see your friend soon enough."

Kaneki gasps when his hands meet the book and his thumbs rub over the cover. He opens it, turning the pages and Arima leaves the cell just as quickly. The half-ghoul finds himself sucked into a different world within minutes.

The guards outside in the halls no longer hear a sound.

During the rest of his confinement, Arima's subordinates bring Kaneki a few more books at least twice a week, finding that the half-ghoul goes through them faster than he eats. Soon his cell has a miniature library in the corner near his bed while Kaneki keeps himself company within the literature world. Despite isolating himself from everything else, Hide still enters Kaneki's mind. Whenever he's not reading, he thinks about when Hide came to see him, even when he was practically blind. He doesn't scream anymore, but he still cries. No matter how many books he reads, he's hollow.

Kaneki doesn't bother keeping track of the days anymore.

Meanwhile, whenever he's not undergoing other cases, Arima does his own minor investigation, finding Kaneki's name familiar, belonging to another ghoul a long time ago.

In the last week of Kaneki's detention, Arima finally comes across what he's looking for. Once he obtains it, he decides to pay the half-ghoul one more visit.

When he enters Kaneki's cell, the half-ghoul is engulfed in another novel, the other books scattered on the floor and presumably already finished. The boy doesn't budge until the man is within a few feet in front of him.

Kaneki looks up when Arima's tall form blocks the dim light and the investigator notices the boy looks a little better than before, though his eyes are still tired and raw around the edges. He knows the boy is still shedding tears.

"I was wondering about how your name reminded me of a ghoul that was exterminated a long time ago. A ghoul that shared your name and a striking resemblance to you."

Kaneki sets his book down on the bed, narrowing his eyes. "Shared my name?" He gazes down for a minute, replaying what Arima just said before it strikes him. He lifts his head with wide eyes.

"Are you talking about…"

Arima reaches into his shirt pocket and pulls out a small photograph. Kaneki carefully takes it in his hand and right away, his breath escapes when he finds himself staring at the face of his father.

"Wh-where did you-" Kaneki can barely speak.

"We hardly ever throw any records out. I don't know all the details and don't have the time to do any further digging myself, but I was able to find this photo of your father. It's only a copy, as I can't give you the original."

Kaneki gazes at the photo in awe, finally able to imagine his father properly now.

"It would seem he lost control and the investigators on his case had to eliminate him. How old were you when it happened?" Arima asks.

"I…was only four years old," Kaneki replies softly. He can't keep his eyes off his father, afraid he'll vanish from his sights.

Arima says nothing and when Kaneki forces himself to look up, he finds the investigator making his leave.

"Thank you," Kaneki says, his voice weak but Arima catches it.

The investigator opens the cell door and he looks over his shoulder. "No need for that. You'll be leaving this place soon."

The door shuts and Kaneki watches Arima's shadow disappear outside. He doesn't see the investigator anymore.

Amon sips his cup of coffee in the early morning at Anteiku. Seated in a quiet corner away from the other civilians, he thinks back on the day when he found out Hide had gone off to the ghoul prison on his own. Naturally, he had arrived to the boy's apartment faster than lightning, but once he saw the boy's face, he couldn't bring himself to shout at him in anger like he wanted.

It was dangerous and foolish as all hell, but the boy was in enough anguish.

Now, hopefully, it will end.

Amon finishes the rest of his coffee and then stands to his feet, ready to do his next task.

"Investigator Amon, wait a moment."

The man stops in his tracks and turns around to see Yoshimura approaching him with a bag. He hands it over to him.

"This is for Kaneki. I'm sure he'll be needing clothes to change into before he comes back."

Amon takes the bag, peeking inside it, and then he nods his head. "Thank you. I'll bring him here as soon as I can."

Yoshimura returns the gesture and watches the investigator leaving the shop. Once Amon is out of sight, he comes near the windows. The clouds in the sky are grey and gloomy.

…

Kaneki waits inside his cell. The guard tells him a different investigator will be taking him back to Anteiku. The anticipation of getting out of here makes him nervous so he closes his eyes, leaning against the wall.

A few hours later, he's lying sideways on his bed when he hears the guard speaking to someone outside. In the next minute, the door opens, and Kaneki immediately lifts his head.

He meets Amon, who bows his head at him with his swift introduction. Not wasting any time, Amon approaches the half-ghoul and hands him the bag Yoshimura prepared for him.

"The manager at Anteiku wanted me to give you this. Something for you to change into," Amon explains.

Kaneki nods and he opens the bag. Inside, he sees a pair of his black work shoes, a white dress shirt, and black pants. A small smile crosses his face at Yoshimura's thoughtfulness.

"I'll give you a moment," Amon says, and he exits the cell.

Kaneki takes off the white prison clothes and right away, he notices his scars, both from Yamori and from getting injected so many times. He stares at the gruesome scars in his arms for what seems like a long time.

I really am a monster.

He shuts his eyes away from his old wounds and dresses himself quickly. He then opens the last book he had been reading and takes out his father's photo he'd hidden within the pages. Staring at his dad, he inhales deeply and then places the photo into his pocket. He glances at the stacks of books left behind before opening the cell door and finally stepping outside.

He winces instantly once he's free from his cell and it takes a minute for him to adjust to the brighter lighting. When he opens his eyes again, he looks up to see Amon waiting for him. No one else is around.

"Let's go," he says. He begins to lead the way.

For as long as he's been here, Kaneki has never seen the ghoul prison apart from his cell, not that he wants to remember it anyway. The two men are quiet the whole way. Kaneki glances around himself at times but mostly keeps his sights on the ground.

Once they are truly outside, Kaneki shivers when he feels the cool air against his body. He wraps his arms around himself in an attempt to warm up while Amon guides him to his car parked in front of the facility.

Amon goes towards the driver seat and Kaneki opts to sit in the backseat. The half-ghoul lets out an exhale once he's in the car and Amon is already starting up the engine.

"Ready to go?" Amon asks him without looking back.

"Yes, sir," Kaneki replies. He had just buckled his seatbelt.

Soon enough, the car departs from the prison and they're on the road. The radio station is airing a newscast that serves as the only background noise aside from the minimal traffic. The two are silent again, but it's not entirely uncomfortable. Kaneki stares at the heavy clouds in the sky, covering the sun from view.

"Your friend is safe, if you were wondering. He's a troublemaker, but he's safe. I've been watching over him from time to time while you were stuck in there," Amon speaks up.

Kaneki's gaze shifts to the front, to where Amon is sitting.

"I'm sure he can tell you the rest better than I can," Amon says. He shakes his head, thinking about Hide's stubborn ways.

Kaneki's throat catches, and he stares down at his hands. His ugly, scarred hands.

Oh god…he's going to see me like this…

…

Hide enters the café, finding that Anteiku is closed earlier than usual. Right away, Yoshimura comes out to greet him once the ghoul had heard the doorbells ringing.

"Hello Yoshimura. You wanted to see me?" Hide asks him with a small smile.

The manager smiles back. "Please follow me upstairs."

Hide has never been in the upper floors of Anteiku before, so he is caught off guard when Yoshimura leads him up there. There are residential rooms on the second floor, some of them occupied by what he assumes to be staff. They stop in front of a room at the end of the hallway, far away from the inhabited rooms. Yoshimura opens it, allowing Hide to step inside first. The room has couches and a small coffee table in the middle of the comfy space.

"Please, have a seat," Yoshimura coaxes him.

Hide chooses to plop down on one of the arm chairs at the foot of the table. Yoshimura remains standing next to him.

"How have you been holding up, Hide?" Yoshimura inquires.

Hide sighs heavily and he gives a forced smile. "Not so great…"

Yoshimura nods in understanding and Hide lowers his head. His blond hair tickles the side of his face, brushing against his neck.

"I don't trust those doves. Sometimes, I feel like I won't be able to see him again. That I'll have to move on without him."

Hide looks up, staring blankly at the wall. "How do I do that? It's like I'm breaking up with him."

"How was Kaneki when you saw him?" Yoshimura asks.

Hide bites his lip and shakes his head. He doesn't answer.

"I assure you, Hide. Everything's going to turn out better than you think."

Hide grasps his forehead. "How do you know that?"

"I wouldn't lie to you or Kaneki. Not before and not ever," the old ghoul replies.

…

Amon doesn't leave the car like Kaneki thinks he would when they arrive in front of Anteiku. The half-ghoul steps out onto the sidewalk, but he looks back at the investigator, unsure if he should keep going.

Amon rolls down his window and he nods for him to go on. "I'm afraid my journey stops here. Yoshimura is in there waiting for you. Take care."

With another encouraging nod, the investigator rolls up the window and then speeds off into the busy streets again.

Kaneki turns his attention to the café, finding it hard to believe he's here. He notices the closed sign at the door but when he goes to turn the knob, the door is unlocked. As Kaneki steps inside, a wave of comfort flows over him, and the scent of coffee fills his senses. The shop is vacant with only the noises from the city resonating in the atmosphere.

Kaneki hears footsteps and his heart pounds, his attention directed to the staircase next to the bar station. But once he catches a glimpse of Yoshimura's uniform, his anxiety lowers.

"Kaneki, I'm so glad you made it. I'm glad you're safe," Yoshimura says. He walks over to the boy with a welcoming smile.

Kaneki is relieved to see a familiar face. "It's good to see you, Yoshimura. Are you all right?"

Yoshimura chuckles. "I'm fine. Come with me."

Kaneki is led to the room at the end of the hallway on the second floor and he gives Yoshimura a curious gaze when the older man turns around. "Why-"

"Hide is in this room," Yoshimura states.

Kaneki gasps and he covers his mouth. His eyes are wide, and his heart nearly jumps out of his chest. He can't say anything.

"He doesn't know you're here," Yoshimura says with a smile.

Kaneki's hand slips down, and he takes a step back. He stares at the ground, frozen in place.

"It'll be all right. I'll leave you two alone," the manager says calmly before he heads back to the café.

He can barely breathe.

He feels like he's going to pass out because of how insanely fast his heart beats. He's scared. What will he think?

But his desire to see him overpowers that fear.

His hand trembles as he reaches for the door knob. For some reason, time slows down, and it seems like it took twenty minutes for his fingers to touch the brass handle.

He pushes all his cowardly thoughts out of his head and dives in.

The door moves.

…

Hide is staring up at the ceiling, his hands clasped between his legs as he sits on the chair. He suddenly hears someone coming in.

Kaneki's eyes find him immediately and, in that moment, neither of them are breathing.

His vision is clear, and he can finally see him. Kaneki can see Hide completely and he can't move. His blond hair. His brown eyes. His scent that reminds him of home. Just as he sees him after so long, his eyes sting and drown. His heart slows down, forming the water that begs to release.

Standing to his feet, Hide is shocked to the core. No one told him.

Is he dreaming? Has he finally lost his mind?

But when he takes in Kaneki's white hair and the round, grey eyes that he adores, he knows this can't be fake. His entire body is numb, and he takes in a breath that stabs his lungs after unintentionally keeping oxygen away.

He is the first to close the gap.

"Ken, you…you're here…" Hide whispers.

When he hears him, Kaneki awakens from his stupor and the tears fall without his permission. He inhales and without thinking, he stumbles forward, his hands reaching for him.

"Hide!"

He crashes into his lover's arms. Hide lets out a shaky exhale when he feels Kaneki against his body and he tightens his grip around him. His left arm wraps around his waist, his fingers clasping his ribs while his right arm secures his upper body, his hand resting behind Kaneki's neck. His nose is smothered in Kaneki's right shoulder and when he takes in his lover's scent, he feels his eyes welling up. His fingers dig deeper into him. He can't breathe. He doesn't care.

Kaneki chokes on his own tears and his breaths are ragged and uneven. His chin rests on Hide's shoulder. He closes his eyes, feeling Hide's body on his. Hide embraces him stronger than when he came to see him. All he can feel is Hide as his lover envelops him as tight as possible. His arms rest around Hide's shoulders, his fingers grasping onto the back of his jacket. His heart swells and collects itself, gradually finding the pieces that were lost to oblivion.

They stay bound together for as long as they can until they both need to breathe. Hide pulls away just enough; their bodies touch and they are both warm. Kaneki's hands move to rest on Hide's chest and he looks into the gentle brown eyes he missed terribly. Hide doesn't dare look away from him.

"Hide…" Kaneki blinks so the tears can escape down his face and he can see him. "I love you so much. I miss you."

Hide's eyes water and he gives a sad smile, one that squeezes Kaneki's healing heart. "I'm sorry…I couldn't protect you. I couldn't save you."

Kaneki shakes his head with every word that Hide says. His hands reach up to grab hold of Hide's face. He sees the guilt written all over him and it hurts his chest. "No, don't say such things. I love you. You did save me. When you risked everything to come and see me, you saved me."

Hide's brown eyes tremble and he listens patiently.

Kaneki admires Hide's soft lips. "I wanted to die, because I thought you were dead. I was close…"

Hide takes Kaneki's wrist, pulling him in. His eyes hold a fire in them now. "Don't you dare. Don't leave me."

Hide takes Kaneki's tear-soaked lips, tasting the salt and his lover's mouth on his. His tongue thrusts its way through Kaneki's tempting lips and he hears Kaneki moan as soon as their tongues collide. Kaneki's body feels frail under his arms, but he only holds him harder like he could break him. Kaneki's fingernails dig into his exposed collarbone and he wants more.

He cuts off their heated kiss, leaving Kaneki watery-eyed and filled with desire. He admires Kaneki's reddened cheeks and moist lips. He breathes heavily.

"Hurt me, Ken. Do it. Hurt me," he demands in a hoarse tone.

Kaneki shakes his head, his pupils dilated. "No."

"I deserve it," Hide tells him, his eyes dark.

"I love you," Kaneki repeats.

Kaneki moves closer, his tongue lapping at Hide's hot lips. He wants him so much. He bites onto Hide's lower lip, eliciting a groan from his lover. He presses his mouth on his, roughly. Their tongues touch and feed the fires boiling in their loins.

Hide grasps the back of Kaneki's head, keeping him like he owns him. Kaneki's mind screams "yes!" with the way Hide holds him so possessively. Hide continues kissing Kaneki until he knows for sure Kaneki's lips are bruised. When he parts from him, a lewd smack follows, and he smirks when he gets results. Kaneki's lips are red and fucked up like they just had sex, and he knows his are too. He dips lower so that their tingling lips touch one more time.

"I can't live without you. I fucking can't," Hide confesses. His voice is hard, but gentle at the same time. It excites Kaneki to no end.

"Don't ever do that. Wherever you go, I go," Kaneki replies. Their foreheads meet, and they breathe each other's air.

Nothing can separate them now.

Nothing.

…

Kaneki is nestled in Hide's lap on the couch and he smiles when Hide wipes the snot from the half-ghoul's nose with the sleeve of his jacket. As long as he is happy, Kaneki is okay with making a mess of himself.

Hide steals another wet kiss from Kaneki when he's done wiping his nose and Kaneki leans in further, keeping their mouths together. Hide clutches his lover's side and his right hand searches for Kaneki's. Their fingers intertwine.

When they pull apart, Hide looks down, studying Kaneki's hands. He stares at the black fingernails and the jagged scars that encircle Kaneki's fingers. Imprinted in his skin like he wore rings that were too tight and left marks. But these marks remain.

Kaneki's hand trembles in fear of him thinking he's unsightly but Hide does the exact opposite. He presses his mouth firmly on each of his fingers, not letting a single one go untouched. Kaneki blushes and he tries to pull away in protest, but Hide's grip makes him weak.

"You're beautiful, my love. So beautiful," Hide tells him. His eyes stare deeply into the other.

"No, I'm not. You're just saying that," Kaneki says sadly.

Hide clenches his hand tighter. "I'm telling the truth. You're beautiful and you always will be."

Kaneki's heart melts and he admires Hide's face. With his other hand, he reaches up and runs his fingers through Hide's blond hair. "It's getting longer…"

Hide grins. "Yeah, I look like a slob, right?"

"No, I like it. You're a handsome slob," Kaneki says with a smile.

Hide laughs and he releases Kaneki's hand temporarily to slap his forehead. "Well, fuck…"

Kaneki grabs Hide's hand back to hold again and he nestles his head into Hide's neck. Hide's other hand reaches up to caress Kaneki's hair, scratching at his scalp lightly like he's a cat.

They are quiet for a long while. Listening to each other's calm breathing. Feeling each other's heartbeats. Not letting go.

"He touched you, didn't he?"

Kaneki's eyes open and he moves to look at his lover. Hide's gaze is melancholic.

"Another man, a monster touched you," Hide repeats with disdain.

Kaneki clasps his lover's cheek with his free hand. "He didn't do that, Hide."

Hide narrows his eyes and Kaneki doesn't waver. "He hurt me many times. He's seen my body. But he didn't touch me. You're the only man who has. No one else is allowed."

Hide stares at him for a while. "You're not lying…"

"Thank goodness I'm not," Kaneki agrees.

Hide sighs and he rubs his head against the other. "I want to know what happened to you. But I know you can't tell me right now. I won't rush you."

Kaneki returns to where he leans on his chest. "I will tell you, don't worry. There are no secrets between us."

With those words, Kaneki is reminded of something and he gasps. "Oh wait, speaking of…"

Hide releases Kaneki's hand as the half-ghoul reaches into one of his pockets. "Look, the man who took me under custody gave me this."

Kaneki shows Hide the photo of his father and Hide takes it, bringing it closer. "Whoa, is this…"

"My dad," Kaneki says, smiling wide.

"He looks like you so much. Wow. You found him," Hide replies. He turns his attention back to his lover. "You've got your mother's eyes, I think…"

"Yeah, I guess…" Kaneki says. Hide hands him the photo and Kaneki's hair tickles Hide's neck when he adjusts himself in his lap.

"Hide?"

"Hmm?"

"I thought about you every day when I was gone. How long has it been?"

Hide pauses.

"I think a month and a half. But it felt like forever."

Kaneki searches for both of Hide's hands, gripping them once he has them.

"I did things you'll probably hate me for, Ken. I had to, so I could find you…" Hide admits.

Kaneki's face grows worried. "What do you mean?"

"You'll find out later," Hide assures him. "Do you wanna go home?"

Troubled about what Hide just brushed aside, Kaneki decides not to dwell on it for now. He smiles.

"Let's go home."

…

The clouds seem to get darker and bigger, but the gloomy skies don't match how the boys feel as they walk holding hands together down the street.

At times, Kaneki's heart makes dramatic leaps as sudden shocks of panic rises inside him. He squeezes Hide's hand every few moments because he's scared that he'll disappear. Hide notices Kaneki staring at him and when he meets his gaze, he sees fright in those grey eyes.

"What's the matter, babe?" Hide stops them.

Kaneki breathes slowly, and he steps closer to him. "You're really here next to me. You're not going away…"

Hide notices Kaneki's anxious stare wandering from him so he takes his chin and redirects him. "This is real, Ken. You and I are together."

Kaneki nods and Hide clenches their hands to confirm his words. The rest of the walk to their apartment is silent. A comfortable silence.

Kaneki feels a few faint trickles of rain beginning to fall on his cheek. Hide looks up, smelling the air. Luckily, they are almost there.

When they reach the front door of their apartment, their hands still don't break apart.

Hide opens the door and then he turns to his lover. "Welcome back, Ken."

Kaneki steps forward, pressing his body on Hide and resting his head on his shoulder. "When I'm with you, I'm home."