It still seems too surreal. The fact that he's here standing in the apartment he shares with Hide. Once he steps inside and all the familiar details overwhelm him, he's afraid to move. He thinks he's dreaming.

But he can feel Hide's hand gripping his, see the blond hair he adores right next to him. He can hear his lover's voice.

"Sorry, it's not as clean as it was when you were here…" Hide says and his hand loosens on Kaneki's.

Kaneki feels Hide slip away as the two of them remove their shoes and then walk further into their home. The half-ghoul surveys the apartment and notices it's not as much of a mess as Hide implies. In fact, it almost looks like no one lives in here with how untouched the living room and kitchen seem to be.

"Have you…been taking care of yourself?" Kaneki asks quietly while Hide removes his jacket.

Hide drapes his jacket onto one of the chairs in the kitchen as Kaneki follows him and he scratches the back of his head.

"Well…"

Hide doesn't look at Kaneki at first. When he feels Kaneki's body pressing against his side, his eyes meet the large grey ones that show deep concern.

Hide sighs and his fingers grip the back of the chair. He feels Kaneki grabbing onto his arm and that's when he speaks up again.

"Are you hungry? I think I still have some meat stored in the freezer that I can defrost for you. Or I can whip something up real quick. I don't know if I have much right now though…shit…" Hide's voice sounds too cheerful until near the end when he begins to mutter to himself.

Kaneki leans against him, his forehead rubbing against his lover's arm. "No, I'm okay for now…"

Hide can tell Kaneki wants to say something else. They both want to say more but they don't know where to start.

Kaneki lingers near Hide's side a little longer as the blond stands there in deep thought. His brown eyes dig holes into the table.

The silence is heavy between them and Kaneki doesn't want to part from him for a second. It takes all his willpower to let go of him.

"I…think I'll go and wash up a bit. I'm sure I don't smell the best right now," Kaneki says with slight embarrassment.

"You don't smell bad at all, Ken," Hide replies with a smile.

Kaneki gives him a doubtful look with a smile of his own and Hide chuckles. "Yeah, I bet that would make you feel better after everything. I'll give you some space, but let me know if you get hungry later, okay?"

Hide starts to exit the kitchen but then he feels Kaneki gripping his arm again. Looking back, he sees fear returning in Kaneki's eyes.

"Y-You're not leaving, are you?" Kaneki says, his voice small.

Hide pauses and his expression is soft. He turns around and takes both of Kaneki's arms, pulling him in closer.

"I was going to get some supplies but…"

Kaneki's eyes shine, staring at him like he's the only person that matters in the entire universe. Hide's heart drums harder in his chest.

"Don't worry, baby. It's okay. I'll do that later. I'm just gonna go and rest on the couch while you freshen up."

Kaneki's breathing is shaky, and he blinks a few times before responding. "I-I'm sorry, I just…don't want to be alone…"

Hide's right hand releases one of his arms to grasp the back of Kaneki's head. He brings him in and his lips press hard onto Kaneki's forehead. He does it two more times, hearing Kaneki sigh in relief as he does.

"I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. I'm always going to be near," Hide reassures him. His fingers grip his lover's head as Kaneki melts into his touch.

Hide releases him and Kaneki hesitates on moving. He nods slowly in response to what Hide told him and then backs away, heading to the bathroom without another word. Hide exhales, watching his lover disappear before walking towards the window in the living room. He can hear rain pattering against the glass and when he opens the shades, he notices that the clouds from earlier are now releasing the storm.

"Well…good thing I didn't go..."

The rain grows stronger, dousing the city. Hide turns around, dropping his exhausted body on the couch. His eyes close.

…

Kaneki can't keep his nerves down at all. Even the simple darkness keeps him on edge when he enters the bathroom. He carefully finds the switch and refuses to look at himself in the mirror once the ceiling light flickers on.

His hands feel tingly and he stares down at them. His eyes latch onto the scars and in an instant a vision of his bloody hands without fingers flashes in his mind. He gasps and shuts his eyes, his breathing picking up pace.

After a short pause, he begins to undress himself, starting with his button down shirt and then working his way to his trousers. The cool air hits his skin and now with his pale flesh in full view, he spots the scars on his thighs and the injection holes in his arms.

He smells blood. It's all over his body. It won't go away.

Again, flashes reappear in his mind and this time, he's seeing his bones sticking out from his legs. His thighs are split open, pouring out more blood that begins to turn black.

Kaneki nearly screams this time and he has to cover his mouth. He backs up until he hits the wall and even when he's blinking, those images won't go away.

Then he hears him. The maniacal laughter. That booming voice. The monster calls his name in an eerie chant.

His hands slam over his ears and his fingers dig into the side of his head.

Stop…stop! STOP!

He doesn't mean to, but somehow, his eyes find himself in the mirror. He's gazing at himself, but his doppelganger on the other side doesn't look as horrified as he thinks he would. Instead, the other Kaneki is smirking at him, taunting him like that beast.

Kaneki can't keep his eyes off his own ghostly reflection, hypnotized by his clone's action. The other Kaneki's eyes begin to bleed, red streams crawling down his face. Then, the scars on his body open and the incision where the beast had cut through him down his chest pours out his guts. His ribs are exposed underneath the more the wound expands. The other Kaneki doesn't break eye contact with him as his sclera turns black and his face and mouth are covered in crimson.

In the next moment, the other Kaneki's hands crawl up to his neck, tightening around it, choking himself. Soon, the other Kaneki's eyes are completely black and his neck snaps, causing his head to bend to the right.

Then he hears two voice speaking at once.

"You're a good boy. Just like me!"

His mother and Yamori screech together, splitting his brain.

Kaneki's mouth drops open, but no scream comes out. Instead he falls to the ground.

…

Hide's eyes snap open and he immediately checks the clock. He sighs heavily when he finds he dozed off for a mere ten minutes.

"Dammit, I really need to stop doing this…" Hide tells himself.

His body can barely handle any more days of bad sleeping habits.

It's strange, he thinks. He doesn't usually wake up so suddenly unless he's worried. Or if he drank way more coffee than usual, which rarely happens.

Something isn't right…

He leaps out of the couch, charging straight towards the bathroom. His heart beats so hard from moving abruptly and an overwhelming fear rising within.

He grits his teeth and grabs the door knob, swinging it open.

His heart sinks to the pits when he finds his lover naked on the ground, curled up in a fetal position. He moves like a bullet.

"Ken!" Hide is down on his knees, grabbing Kaneki into his arms and holding him so close.

Kaneki's eyes are open, to his surprise, but they are wide with nothing but horror. Kaneki doesn't see Hide right away but when Hide grabs hold of his hand, the warmth from his body hits him and the half-ghoul finally breaks out of his frozen state.

All Hide can focus on is Kaneki's face. His brows wrinkle in deep concern and his heart won't stop pounding.

"Ken, can you hear me? Talk to me, please!"

Kaneki takes in a sharp intake of air, his lungs waking up, and he finds Hide's eyes staring at him intently.

Kaneki curls up in himself even more and he tries to escape Hide's grasp. "Hide, stay away from me. I'm a monster!"

Hide shakes his head and he only grabs Kaneki tighter against him. "What are you saying? You're not a monster, Ken. Look at me. I won't stay away."

Kaneki feels his heart squeezing in his chest from his conflicting emotions. His attempts to pull away from Hide are far too weak. There's no way he can do it. But his mind still fights.

"I can't…Hide, you won't want me anymore…" His voice sounds as weak as it did in that chamber.

"Is that what that ghoul said? Those are lies. Everything he told you, don't believe any of it," Hide reminds him sternly.

Kaneki's eyes well up and he's breaking to pieces. "But Hide…look at me. Look at what he did!"

Hide stares into Kaneki's glistening grey eyes a little longer, making sure that Kaneki is truly allowing him to see. When he feels Kaneki moving his legs down from their folded position, his eyes travel over his skin to see all the faint scars marking his lover's body. All the places where Yamori brutally stabbed him. Kaneki feels Hide's stare on him and the tears fall like his reflection.

Kaneki closes his eyes, not ready to face what Hide will think of him. The ugly beast he's become. A used toy that no one will ever want.

The silence suffocates Kaneki, but then he hears Hide's voice calming his senses.

"I wish I could take all this away from you. I wish I could take all your pain away. I want to so badly…"

Kaneki's breathing stops, and he feels Hide holding him closer, embracing him and enveloping him in his body warmth. There's no way Kaneki can break away from him, not that he wants to. No matter how much those poisonous thoughts try to rip through his brain, his severed heart inevitably wins. Bringing him to where he belongs without fail.

Kaneki feels Hide releasing him and he whimpers from the loss. His large eyes blink away the remnants of tears in his eyes and he watches Hide removing his shirt and then his pants. Tossing them into the pile where Kaneki's clothes are, Hide's body is fully exposed for him.

"Look at me, Ken. Tell me what you see," Hide urges him with no hesitance in his eyes.

Kaneki feels his cheeks warm up, admiring Hide's tone chest and fair skin. He is reminded of how endless his desire is for the human who still looks at him like he's normal.

Hide doesn't show how nervous he is, though at the same time, he's aroused at the way Kaneki gazes at his body with those round, innocent eyes. He can't stop staring at the way Kaneki bites his lower lip and he fights the sudden urge to grab his neck and kiss him senseless. Kaneki's pupils constrict, however, when he takes in more of Hide's skin, especially when he sees the long scar down the left side of his neck and to his collarbone. Kaneki begins to lose breath, and he does when his sights explore further down.

Hide's mouth goes dry when he witnesses Kaneki's reaction. Those grey eyes land on his left arm and he absorbs the grotesque sight for the first time.

"Hi-Hide! You…Who did this to you?" Kaneki shouts, his voice cracking near the end.

Hide's eyes grow dark and he turns his left arm, so Kaneki can fully examine the bite wound. It is healed for the most part, leaving behind a ragged scar where his skin remains damaged in that area.

Kaneki's eyes widen further and his fingers tremble, reaching out to touch his lover's arm. To think that someone would dare hurt his precious love, Kaneki can't stand the thought.

Hide sees a flurry of emotions flashing through Kaneki's eyes. Shock, horror, despair, and then rage.

Kaneki looks directly into his lover's eyes. His face comes closer to Hide and his voice is deeper as he demands, "Tell me. Who bit you?"

Hide doesn't break the intense eye contact. He inhales before replying. "Ken, please listen. I was bitten, yes, by a ghoul. But you have to know that I willingly let this ghoul do it."

Kaneki's pupils are pinpoints with his rising anger, but he waits for Hide's answer.

"I let this ghoul bite me so that I could find you. I had to," Hide explains further.

"Hide," Kaneki repeats in a harsh tone.

Hide shuts his eyes and then looks down. "It was Rize. The only one I thought could lead me to you. And she did."

Hide braves a look back at Kaneki and now notices the anger has softened as Kaneki stares at him in disbelief.

"I'm sorry…" Hide says softly.

Kaneki shakes his head and he grabs onto Hide's shoulder. "I'm going to kill her."

Hide frowns and he can tell his lover is serious. "No, Ken, she helped me in the end. It's okay-"

"I'm killing her. I'll rip her to pieces. No one gets away with hurting you!" Kaneki's voice rises in volume and he sounds far more vicious than Hide had ever heard from him before.

Hide grabs the back of Kaneki's neck. "Don't do it. It's not worth it."

Kaneki's eyes are glazed with tears of rage. "No. You can't stop me, Hide! I'll kill her!"

Hide seals Kaneki's mouth from saying anything further with his own, pressing his mouth hard on his lover and tasting him on his tongue. Kaneki makes a sound of shock which evolves to muffled protests. When Hide pulls away, Kaneki can only take in a split second of air before the human captures his lips again. Kaneki's fingers dig into Hide's shoulder. The feel of Hide's soft lips on his, Hide's arms locking him into a firm embrace, and his tongue caressing all the places he's touched before, Kaneki can't resist. Hide makes those ill feelings dissipate, making him feel so good the more his warm lips continue to bruise his mouth.

Kaneki feels the emotions bottling up inside his throat and more tears escape down the corners of his eyes. Hide senses his sadness. He kisses him harder, pressing his naked body against Kaneki and feeling every part of him with his hands. Kaneki wants him, allows him to do so, but his heart is still bleeding.

Kaneki carefully pushes Hide with a hand on his chest. Hide moves back in an instant, giving Kaneki just enough space for him to see his face.

Kaneki licks his lips, tasting Hide and feeling the lingering tingle on his mouth from the heated kisses.

"How can you still care for someone like me? All I do is cause you pain and suffering. I hurt you even when I don't want to hurt you. I'm not good for you, Hide."

Kaneki's cheeks are flushed and his eyes glisten with his emotions. Hide sinks in his words with patience. He gives Kaneki a warm smile that reaches the other's fragile heart.

"Ken, please. Get that rotten way of thinking out of your head. I'm going to keep repeating myself if that's what it takes to get through to you," Hide says gently.

Hide's hands feel down Kaneki's back and waist, pulling him even closer.

"You know, when I look at the scars on your body, it hurts me. I can't explain how much I want to dig all the demons out of you, every bad thing that happened to you, and crush it in my hands until it no longer exists. I know you killed that monster, but somehow, I wished I killed him myself, even though I know it wouldn't have ended well for me."

Hide chuckles bitterly near the end and Kaneki's heart hangs on every word he says.

Then, Kaneki's eyes widen when he sees tears slipping down Hide's face. The human wears a smile, but his cheeks are wet as he lets his true feelings out.

"But now, these scars are a part of you and I know I can't erase it. You're not a monster, Ken, and you never will be. Please don't call yourself that because I love every part of you. Every scar, every flaw, every ugly thing you hate, I love to pieces. I want all of you and I don't regret ever loving you, not a single bit. Nothing changes. You're still my Ken, the dorky bookworm I met in that sandbox. Remember?"

Hide's voice shakes, and Kaneki is too overwhelmed. Before he knows it, he's sobbing, choking on his tears the more he listens to Hide's honest words.

"I mean, I remember. That sticky sand. Your cute, chubby hands. Aw man, who knew I would fall so damn hard for that boy?"

Kaneki laughs and Hide grins when he hears it.

"Oh god, I'm such a mess," Kaneki states between sobs. His voice stutters and no matter how many times he wipes his face, new tears flow out.

Hide chuckles and helps Kaneki wipe the snot away to no avail. Kaneki's face is red and when he looks up, Hide's breath is stolen from how Kaneki gazes at him. He'll never get used to it.

"Even when I think I don't deserve you, at the same time, I can't stop myself from falling in love with you more and more," Kaneki admits.

Hide smiles and he leans his forehead on the other.

Kaneki lifts his hands up, grasping both sides of Hide's face. "What do I do?" he whispers. "All this love I have for you keeps growing. It won't stop at all. Hide…my heart feels like it will burst…"

Hide smirks and his lips brush over Kaneki's as he speaks. "Give it to me. I'm greedy."

Unable to say any more, Kaneki throws himself into Hide's arms, allowing the other to crush his body and hold him until he can barely breathe. Kaneki takes in Hide's scent, his hands caressing Hide's shoulders and back. His lips touch the tender skin of his neck and in his mind, he wishes he could show Hide how much he truly loves him. His heart is so full for this man alone.

…

The shower water is warming up as the two of them stand together in the tub with the curtain drawn. Kaneki feels incredibly hot from how close he is to Hide, especially in the narrow space they occupy. After all this time, he still feels dizzy around him.

Kaneki's hands touch Hide's chest, his fingers outlining the scar from his neck. He looks up into Hide's brown eyes that darken with melancholy.

"Who did this one?" Kaneki asks. He strokes the scar and steps forward so that he's mere centimeters away from his lover.

"I confronted him too, that monster. When Rize told me about him, I aimed to track him down." Hide looks to the side. "I guess I couldn't get away without an injury from him too."

When he feels Kaneki's fingers stop on his chest, he looks back to see Kaneki's eyes widening in realization. His hand moves off Hide and he grabs his head.

"He tricked me. He's so cruel." Kaneki clenches his head and Hide grasps his shoulders.

"It's okay. He's gone now," Hide tells him.

"No, he's in here. He won't leave," Kaneki states and he jabs his temple.

Hide watches his lover slowly collect himself and when Kaneki meets his gaze, the half-ghoul wraps his arms around Hide's waist. His lips find the scar and he leaves several soft kisses from his chest and up to his neck. Hide grins at the contact and his fingers clutch his lover's head, keeping him close.

"The water's warm now. Let me wash your hair," Hide suggests.

Kaneki stops his action and his cheek rests on Hide's shoulder, his grey eyes staring at him with adoration.

"Come on, babe, I got you."

Kaneki turns around and soaks himself under the water while Hide reaches for the shampoo. Once he squirts enough of the solution in his palm, he runs his hands through Kaneki's white hair, massaging his scalp and making sure he gets all areas of his head cleaned. Kaneki smiles and he closes his eyes, focusing on Hide's touches and the hot water flowing over him. He feels safe.

Out of nowhere, he senses Hide's lips pressing on the back of his neck and then strong arms hugging him from behind. Kaneki sighs in pleasure when Hide continues, kissing the sides of his neck and shoulders.

"Hide…"

Kaneki's hair is full of soap, but he whips around quickly and then grabs Hide's face. The human gasps in shock and then yelps when Kaneki pulls him under the water with him.

"Ken! Wait-"

Hide sees Kaneki smiling wide before the half-ghoul reaches up and claims his lips. They're both under the shower head, the steaming water cascading down their faces and bodies. Kaneki gently bites Hide's lower lip, sucking on his mouth and then their tongues collide in an open-mouth kiss. Hide's left hand claws at Kaneki's ribs, leaving red marks. His right hand latches onto his round ass, squeezing it and releasing muffled moans out of Kaneki's mouth. Kaneki takes the upper hand, kissing and tasting Hide for as long as possible. His lips become numb from overstimulation, but he refuses to stop.

"Fuck, I can't breathe!" Hide declares with a laugh. He can't stop smiling when he sees Kaneki grinning. Every time he tries to part for air, Kaneki yanks him back down for more, sucking and bruising his mouth relentlessly.

Kaneki chokes on the water and they both burst out laughing. Kaneki feels soap entering his eyes but he's still kissing Hide, his hands gripped tightly behind Hide's neck.

"Are you okay?" Hide asks between chuckles when Kaneki reluctantly parts from him to cough up water.

Kaneki smiles and his nose bumps Hide's when his plump lips take more of his lover's mouth. Their eyes meet and they both breathe heavily. A fever courses through their bodies, one that keeps them high.

"You're my Hide. Mine," Kaneki says with his whole heart.

Hide feels euphoria rushing through his veins. Kaneki's hair is a tangled mess with ample amounts of soap all over but when he looks into his eyes, he truly cannot breathe. Kaneki worships him and Hide knows his words are true to the core.

Hide's blond hair matted and wet, Kaneki finds him too irresistible. Hide's lips are red from his kisses and he still wants to touch them with his mouth.

Hide can't speak so instead, he tightens his hold on Kaneki, allowing their wet bodies to meld together. Kaneki's face presses onto his chest, embracing him around his waist while the water continues cleansing them.

The boys take turns washing each other, always touching and staying close until their fingers become like prunes. Once they step out of the tub, Kaneki faces Hide while the other dries his hair with the towel.

Kaneki admires Hide's flushed skin and how his hair drips water down his shoulders and chest, outlining his muscles. Hide wipes down Kaneki's face and he smiles when he sees his lover smile. Kaneki reaches up to clasp his cheek, making Hide pause in his work.

"Thank you, my love," Kaneki says. He blushes, and his hand moves to where Hide's heart lies.

Hide's brown eyes gain back their sparkle and he reaches up to intertwine their hands. Kaneki draws near so that their noses touch.

Kaneki is surprised he had a dreamless sleep, and one where he doesn't suffer from insomnia. He didn't even notice that Hide had sacrificed his nap with him to gather supplies once the rain had calmed down. When Kaneki wakes up, it is late at night and Hide is no longer lying beside him. Just a note that informs him where his lover wandered off to.

He takes one of Hide's jackets sticking out of their closet, finding it's slightly bigger over his frame. Plus, the comforting scent of his lover keeps his mind at ease. Rubbing his eye, he leaves the bedroom and is greeted with the smell of food and the sound of sizzling in the kitchen.

He smiles when he spots his lover's blond hair. Hide is occupied with cooking, so focused that he doesn't sense Kaneki's presence. Kaneki takes a seat at the table and he leans on his hands, admiring his oblivious lover from behind.

Can every day be like this…? Just to be with him…

When Hide finally turns around, he yelps and grabs his chest. "Holy shit! I didn't even know you were here, babe!"

Kaneki tilts his head to the side in an innocent manner. "I've only been here for a few minutes."

Hide exhales and wipes his forehead with the back of his arm. "Well, I need sleep, that's for sure."

Kaneki frowns. "Why didn't you just stay with me in bed? We could have slept all day together."

Hide's back faces him and he doesn't answer right away. Kaneki gets up from the chair and he approaches his lover. Hide immediately reacts when he feels Kaneki trying to wrap his arms around him once he's close.

"Not now, Ken! As much as I'd love to hug and kiss you, I don't want you to see what I made just yet! It's a surprise!"

Kaneki blinks a few times and he tries to look over Hide's shoulder. "A surprise? But why?"

"Hang on, I'm almost done! Can you sit back down, please?" Hide turns around, yet he makes sure Kaneki can't see what he's cooking.

Kaneki narrows his eyes and he sniffs the air. "Well, it smells like beef…I know that."

Hide places his hands together as if in prayer, his spatula still in his grasp. "Please, just be patient."

Kaneki puffs his cheeks and crosses his arms like a baby. Hide then realizes that Kaneki is wearing one of his jackets and briefs only and his jaw drops at the sight.

"God…I want you…" Hide says, unable to keep his eyes off his love.

Kaneki smirks at that and he tries to move closer again but Hide snaps out of it. "No! I'm better than my temptations. Back to work!"

Hide turns to the stove but nearly loses his composure when Kaneki snakes his arms around his waist and kisses the middle of his back.

"I'll be waiting," Kaneki says. He nuzzles his head against him.

Hide sighs in relief when Kaneki listens and leaves the kitchen for a minute. He comes back swiftly with a book from his library and then returns to his seat at the table.

Kaneki doesn't read much, he can't when he's staring at Hide. He could watch him forever. About thirty more minutes pass with Hide scrambling around and trying to finish his creation. When Kaneki manages to get glued to his book, Hide places a plate and fork in front of him with a loud clatter.

"The wait is over!" Hide states with a grin.

He takes a seat next to Kaneki, scooting closer with a plate of his own.

Kaneki sets his book aside and looks down at what Hide made. His eyes widen, and his mouth opens.

"This is…" Kaneki trails off as he stares at the hamburger meat still sizzling in front of him. He turns to Hide, who's rubbing the side of his neck.

"You weren't here with me on your birthday…so I wanted to make up for it. I've never missed one with you and it really bothered me…" Hide explains. A slight blush appears on his face and Kaneki isn't used to seeing Hide acting shy.

Kaneki gazes at him in awe. "Are you kidding me? You went out of your way to make this for me just for a birthday I don't even remember?"

Hide laughs at that and he wraps an arm around his lover's shoulder. "Aw, come on, Ken! You never forget, not with me around!"

Kaneki smiles, his eyes becoming glassy. He takes the fork and cuts off a piece of the hamburger. Hide bites his lip nervously as Kaneki tastes his first attempt.

"Just tell me the truth. Don't hold back," Hide tells him.

Kaneki covers his mouth and Hide is afraid he's going to puke. He tries to reach for some napkins on the table in preparation, but Kaneki stops him, grabbing onto his arm.

Hide looks back and he sees Kaneki beaming so brightly. Once again, the human is left speechless.

"It's delicious, Hide! I love it!" Kaneki says. His face flushes with genuine happiness.

Hide's eyes gleam and he grins back. "A-Are you serious?"

"You know me. Do you think I'm lying?" Kaneki replies.

Hide relaxes and he ruffles Kaneki's hair.

"Thank you so much, Hide. I don't know what I did to deserve someone like you," Kaneki says. He takes another bite of the hamburger, cherishing his lover's hard work.

Hide gives a warm smile. "We were meant to be. That's all."

Kaneki stares back at him with glazed eyes when he hears those words. Hide doesn't notice his expression as he takes his turn eating what he made.

Hide wrinkles his brows in a scrutinizing manner. "Ugh, it's kind of dry…do you need more sauce, babe?"

Kaneki grabs his plate, holding it away from him possessively. "No! It's perfect!"

Hide chuckles and he continues cutting the meat. "Okay then. I'm glad you like it."

They are quiet for a while, both enjoying their first meal together after being apart. Kaneki looks at his lover, noticing that Hide seems deep in thought. He watches Hide's jaw muscles clench as he's chewing. Wearing a tank top, Hide's left arm is displayed right next to him and Kaneki catches the bite scar. His hand reaches up, curling around his bicep and he leans forward, placing a gentle kiss under the damaged area.

Hide is snapped out of his thoughts when he feels Kaneki and he turns to him. He notices his lover's saddened gaze. His mood darkens but he doesn't move away or say anything.

Kaneki clings to him, his head pressed on his left arm. Hide's eyes are lost in space, but he focuses on how Kaneki holds onto him.

"Hide, I don't even remember what my mother's hamburger tastes like."

Hide looks back at him again, and Kaneki is smiling in content. Their eyes meet.

"But, it's okay. It doesn't matter anymore."

Hide's heart skips a beat and his right hand runs through Kaneki's white hair. Hide opens his mouth, trying to say something. But once more, he keeps quiet.

…

The rain is harsh outside. The boys hear the rainfall against the window while they lay back in bed. A murky night sets upon them and Kaneki is reminded of how pitch black it was when he was captured in the alleyway. Hide keeps a desk lamp on next to their mattress and Kaneki snuggles close to him, no gaps between them whatsoever. Hide notices Kaneki clutching onto his shirt and knows he's scared by how stiff he is. Hide moves onto his side so that they're face-to-face.

Kaneki's eyes are closed as he tries to remove the bad visions from his mind. Meanwhile, Hide has been buried in contemplation since he went out to get supplies. Two sides of himself battle and he's tired.

He goes for it.

"Ken." Hide holds his lover's cheek, feeling the baby soft skin under his hand. Kaneki opens his eyes and looks up at him immediately.

"Would you marry me?"

Kaneki stops breathing. He can't move.

Hide blushes hard and he pulls his hand back from Kaneki. "I-I know we can't get legally married here since we're both…anyway I just wanted to say it because I don't think it should stop us. Maybe I should word it differently. Would you be mine forever?"

Hide feels himself getting hotter and he breaks eye contact with Kaneki. "That sounds so stupid. Sorry, forget I said anything!"

Hide has never felt more nervous than he does at that moment. He's getting sweaty despite wearing a tank top and shorts and he now wishes he didn't say anything at all.

But he's snapped out of his embarrassed state when he hears sniffling. He looks up quickly and sees Kaneki's wide eyes are drowning. Kaneki smiles, his face wet.

"Hide, I've been married to you. We've been together for thirteen years. You're my soulmate. Of course, I'll be yours. Forever."

Kaneki bumps foreheads with Hide and he holds the side of his face. Hide reaches up, his thumb wiping away his tears.

"I've made you cry so much. I'm sorry…" Hide whispers.

"No! Don't apologize. I'm fine. I'm okay if you're the one to see me like this. Besides, I'm so happy. So happy," Kaneki assures him. His eyes never waver from him.

Hide gives a small smile. "I don't want to hurt you."

"You never hurt me, Hide. And even if you did, I wouldn't mind."

"I don't even have a ring to give you right now. I don't have much at all," Hide admits sadly.

"Neither do I. But I don't want to be with anyone else. No one cares for me as much as you do. No one," Kaneki replies.

Hide doesn't say anything after that, staring deeply into Kaneki's eyes that show him confidence and overflowing love.

Their bodies are warm against each other. Kaneki touches his lips. "Will you marry me, Hide? Will you be mine forever?"

Hide's smile widens, and he grabs the back of his head. He presses a long kiss onto Kaneki's forehead, his affection melting into his skin.

"You're stuck with me – an annoying, loud fool," Hide says. His fingers tangle in his white hair.

Kaneki closes his eyes and his lips find Hide's. He smells his lover's comforting scent and tastes him on his mouth.

Hide's arm around his waist keeps him secure. His hand in his hair makes him feel protected.

When they pull apart, their foreheads stay touching.

"I couldn't wait anymore…" Hide whispers.

Kaneki smiles. "I'm glad you didn't."

Water drips slowly on the glass. Kaneki awakens in the early morning. He fell asleep wrapped in Hide's arms, their legs intertwined. When he gazes at Hide's face, he is happy to see his lover sleeping peacefully, finally getting the rest he needed after so long.

Kaneki feels fuzzy and warm inside. It's constant.

He recalls every word Hide said to him in the night.

Kaneki's hand rests on Hide's neck, feeling the other's steady pulse.

Without legalities, it doesn't matter.

In his heart and mind, Hide is his soulmate. His husband.

We're almost at the end. Only two more chapters left. Thanks for all the support so far from those who have stuck with me since the beginning and new readers along the way. :)