Jay's Wing waited until he was sure Lionpaw and Hollypaw were gone to open his murky blue eyes. With each nervous breath he took, pain clawed at his body from each of his wounds. He was tempted to swallow the poppy seeds that he had pretended to swallow before and currently had hidden under his tongue but he knew he could hold out against the pain for a bit longer.

Still, it was difficult. It was only out of sheer willpower that he hadn't already taken the seeds and escaped into the painless bliss of sleep. His belly burned like he had jumped into a blazing pyre, his flank and back felt like a heavy monster had fallen on him, and the pain in his head was far more than a throb, he couldn't even find a comparison. All he knew was it was pain in its purest form.

And, of course, there was his emotional pain. Hollypaw, Lionpaw, and Leafpool had initially seemed to friendly. Jay's Wing had liked them, he hoped their kindness was genuine. But they had revealed themselves to be enemies. He may be their prisoner in this den but he wouldn't be for long. He would get back to his tribe.

Jay's Wing could hear Leafpool's tail brush against the ground as she moved about the den. Unable to see, he was unsure what she was doing but he had heard someone mention something about her being a medicine cat. He didn't know what that was but if it was anything like it sounded, she was probably doing something with herbs right now.

Jay's Wing held back a grunt as he pushed himself to his paws. Immediately, a jolt of pain shot up his back from his legs. His eyes widened and he clamped his mouth shut to keep himself from crying out. He felt some dressings tear off of his fur but he didn't concern himself with it.

Jay's Wing pricked his ears, listening for a possible entrance so he didn't run into a wall. He heard voices outside and began dragging himself towards them.

"Jaypaw!" Leafpool's surprised voice made his heart sink. Mouse dung! He had hoped he would have been able to at least get his broken body outside the medicine den before she heard him but he hadn't realized how damaged his hind legs were. Ignoring his body begging him to stop, Jay's Wing scrambled across the den clumsily and made a break for the exit.

Immediately, he was greeted by the sun on his grey fur and dry dirt beneath his pads. He ran in the direction he heard the wind blowing in. Or rather dragged. Try as he might, he couldn't straighten his back legs for the life of him let alone walk on them.

The young sharpclaw made it about a fox length before he heard that name again. "Jaypaw!"

Jay's Wing didn't recognize the voice. He didn't stop in his beeline for the exit until he felt himself run into someone.

"Hey, watch- Jaypaw? Hey, you're out and about already?" the cat he ran into said. It sounded like an older tom but he didn't recognize this voice either. For what felt like the fiftieth time since he woke up here, Jay's Wing felt nervousness rise but at least it wasn't a full blown panic attack again. How many cats are there here? And where am I anyway?

"No, he's not." Leafpool's voice rang through the camp, making Jay's Wing's stomach drop. He tried to scrabble away again but he felt jaws grab on his scruff, dragging him back towards the den. No!

"You can't leave yet, Jaypaw," Leafpool told him. "You shouldn't be moving let alone trying to walk. Look, you've torn your dressings."

Jay's Wing hissed. The action almost made the poppy seeds fly out of his mouth. "Put me down. I'm not a kit who needs his mother to carry him."

"If you're going to behave like a kit, I'm going to carry you like one," Leafpool said through a mouthful of fur. "You're hurting yourself Jaypaw. Just let me help you."

"Will he be alright, Leafpool?" the voice that had called out to him asked.

"Don't worry about it, Honeypaw," Leafpool responded. Jay's Wing stopped resisting, the pain becoming too great. She didn't answer her question. Jay's Wing felt worry consume him. He wasn't sure if it was his own or another cats' again. What is this sense?

"All cats of this tribe gather around!" Furled Bracken's mew rang through the cave. He stood in front of his den. Jaypaw sat in front of him, facing him, with the rest of the cats behind him. He couldn't believe how many there were. It was enough cats to be a whole clan.

"As I'm sure you all know, Jay's Wing has returned to us," Furled Bracken said. Murmurs filled the tunnel-like cave until Furled Bracken waved his tail for silence. "And as I'm sure you also all know, Jay's Wing has been missing for two additional days. Many of you have questioned if he truly entered the trial but I remind you we all saw him enter. Some of you are unsure if he can even be called a sharpclaw since he didn't complete the trial in the given time but the fact he passed at all shows his strength."

"Those of you who made it out of your own trials late know the…- they can only be described as horrors- that come out in the trial so terrible that cats cannot survive more than a single night. May we remember Fallen Leaves, our most recent loss to the Rite of Passage."

"May we remember Fallen Leaves," the assembled cats murmured.

"I can only assume the terror increases with each night and it could be a sin to deny a cat his rank after surviving such a thing," Furled Bracken went on. "Jay's Wing is an intelligent cat, clever and strong, and born from a pair of two of our best sharpclaws who are no longer with us. It is in his blood to be a great member of our tribe and he has certainly proven himself capable."

Furled Bracken took a step forward and looked into Jaypaw's eyes. Jaypaw looked right back at him. He had a feeling something was going to happen.

"As of this day, your den and nest will no longer be among the softpaws for you will sleep with your new peers. You will no longer share prey unless you wish until the day you die. You can now take a mate and raise kits who will strive to become sharpclaws themselves one day. If a threat ever comes to this tribe, you will fight for your tribemates and your home. You can now leave without telling a superior and you are now permitted to journey to the Starpool if you wish to communicate with your ancestors," Furled Bracken stated. "Jay's Wing, as of this day you are a sharpclaw of the Tribe of Still Water."

"What were you thinking?" Leafpool hissed as she got Jay's Wing back into the nest. Jay's Wing could feel her angry restraint that prevented her from throwing him down but however gentle she was, laying back down was still difficult and painful.

"You can't keep me here," Jay's Wing stated and glared at the she-cat with defiance. "I am a sharpclaw, I'm bound by nothing except my chosen loyalty to my tribe."

Jay's Wing felt the atmosphere change from anger to concern. Leafpool's voice lost its sharpness. "Jaypaw, what are you meowing about?"

"I told you, it's Jay's Wing," the tom responded. Why is it so hard for them to understand that I'm not whichever cat they think I am? "I've never heard of a cat named Jaypaw."

Once again, Jay's Wing felt a wave feelings emanating from Leafpool. This time, he recognized it as a feeling he knew well. Sadness and loss. It brought him confusion which made his head spin. He tried to push away the sense but it took awhile to repress it. What it this power I have? Why can I feel these things?

What was more confusing was why Leafpool felt this way. Jay's Wing didn't understand, not at all. She believed he was this cat called Jaypaw and seemed to care about him but tried to kill him and also is constantly upset by his rejection of her and the two young cats claiming to be his siblings. It made no sense.

Leafpool turned away to retrieve something from her herb stores. Jay's Wing lay his head down on his paws and tried to relax his lean body. The tension acquired from trying to move his healing form evaporated. He felt much better now. Still, he felt like he'd been dragged backwards through a fox's mouth from up through the stomach but he felt better than he had a few moments ago. I'm still not strong enough to leave.

Even if he had made it out, there was no way he'd be able to survive very long or make it far enough so that these cats couldn't bring him back.

He did learn something else important from his escape attempt. There were many more cats that the three he had met previously. He felt his hope begin to dwindle. He didn't even know how many cats there were thanks to his accursed blind eyes but he knew there were many and that they were in alliance with Leafpool and Jaypaw's siblings. There was no way he'd be able to escape them, even if he was healthy.

Jay's Wing heard Leafpool walk up to him. He heard her push a leaf across the den floor. He rose his head and ran his whiskers over it. More poppy seeds. He turned away and put his head back down. Do they really think I'm that stupid?

"Please Jaypa- Jay's Wing. You're in pain and your body needs rest," Leafpool begged. "Just take the poppy seeds."

Jay's Wing didn't move. He still had the poppy seeds from before in his mouth. He had to admit he was a bit disgusted by having something in his mouth that long. Incredibly disgusted actually. But there was truth in Leafpool's words. He was in pain and trying to move made it worse.

Jay's Wing lifted his head, not looking at Leafpool, and spat the old, slimy seeds out.

"What? You didn't take them? How?"

Jay's Wing continued to ignore her and snatched up the small black specks in his teeth, downing them in a single gulp. After a few moments, he felt himself getting drowsy and lay his head back down. He felt Leafpool relax considerably as he drifted off into the realm of sleep.

Jaypaw tried breathing around the musty scent of old, dry moss in his mouth as he carried it across the cave and into one of the dens carved out in the walls. Fish Leap padded close behind him, carrying moss of his own in his jaws.

Half Moon and Dove's Wing were in the den already along with a decent number of clumps of moss that they had already brought over. The two she-cat were trying to scrap it together into a nest.

"I don't understand why the old sharpclaws are so insistent that you sleep in your new den," Half Moon huffed as she flapped her paw around, trying to get moss out of her claws. "You're barely awake on your paws, Jay's Wing."

Fish Leap nodded as he set down his moss. "Yeah. There's nothing wrong with your old nest. And now we've gotta move it all the way over here."

"It's fine," Jaypaw sighed. "And thanks. I probably would've just fallen asleep on the ground if you guys hadn't insisted on helping me out."

"That's what friends are for."

"I think your nest has enough moss," Dove's Wing said. She shuffled it around a bit. "If you can sleep on the ground, I'm sure you can sleep on this."

"Thanks." Jaypaw let out a long breath as he sank into his nest.

"We'll leave you to it," Fish Leap said and turned to leave the small den with a flick of his tail.

"Sleep well, brother," Dove's Wing added, following the brown tom out of the den. "You deserve it."

Jaypaw waved his tail goodbye and put his head down to rest. He shifted, getting comfortable, and closed his eyes. He felt something brush against his cheek.

"Goodnight, my love."

Jaypaw's eyes snapped open in time to see the white she-cat pad out of the den. She didn't turn, leaving Jaypaw to stare after her into empty space, his brain failing to process what just happened. Did she just… her… love… What?

His exhaustion evaporated in an instant. There was no way he could sleep after that, no matter how exhausted he was. His body was bone tired but he felt like he'd just been stuck by a bolt of lightning that sliced through the tiredness, temporarily pushing it aside.

She loves me.

He never thought he'd hear those words. Not just because he was a medicine cat and sworn by the code to never love. Even when being a warrior was within his reach, he never in his wildest dreams imagined a she-cat would ever say those words to him.

Jaypaw knew the other apprentices back in ThunderClan thought he was cool and confident with his sharp-tongue and skill. But he never held himself in the same regard. In fact, he held himself in an even lower one than probably even Berrypaw or Breezepaw did.

He had zero social skills. He had a hard time being around others. He didn't enjoy being around other cats much but that didn't mean he always wanted to be alone. He always pushed cats away though. His only real friends were Lionpaw and Hollypaw and they only stuck with him because he was their brother.

If no cat even really liked him, how could one be his friend let alone love him? Maybe that was why he spent so much time by the lake, with his stick. It was foolish and embarrassing but it was at least an escape from the loneliness he'd experienced all his life.

He had no friends yet here was a she-cat saying she loved him. She was beautiful, stunning, kind, caring, smart, and just about every word Jaypaw could think of that could describe someone amazing could be used to describe her.

Yet he barely knew her. It was clear she thought he was someone else but Jaypaw found he didn't really care. He just wanted to hear those words, those words he never thought he'd here.

Even if he wasn't a medicine cat, he didn't have a very likeable personality. No cat would ever approach him in that way and he was far too shy and reserved to confess his feelings to a cat he loved if he ever found one. He knew from the day he knew what love is that he'd never be loved. Not like that. Not the way he longed for.

Yet, this amazing cat had just said she loves him.

Jaypaw's mind went back to Furled Bracken's speech.

"As of this day, your den and nest will no longer be among the softpaws for you will sleep with your new peers. You will no longer share prey unless you wish until the day you die. You can now take a mate and raise kits who will strive to become sharpclaws themselves one day. If a threat ever comes to this tribe, you will fight for your tribemates and your home. You can now leave without telling a superior and you are now permitted to journey to the Starpool if you wish to communicate with your ancestors. Jay's Wing, as of this day you are a sharpclaw of the Tribe of Still Water."

If that didn't sound like being a warrior, he didn't know what did. The whole not sharing prey concept and the Starpool thing didn't make a lot of sense to him, it was very different from what the Warrior's Code and Medicine Cat's Code had taught him, but the rest of it sounded like everything he'd dreamed of since kithood and more.

Jaypaw rolled onto his flank and turned his head upward, staring at the ceiling. Brown earth sat above his head. Focusing, he could see the dirt particles. I can see them. I can see. That was the only thing that had ever stopped him. Now that his blindness was no longer an obstacle, Jaypaw knew he could have the life he always wanted.

Of course, this wasn't ThunderClan. Furled Bracken was no Firestar, the missing Falcon Swoop and Falling Rain could not replace the loving presence of Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight, and Dove's Wing and Fish Leap were nothing compared to Hollypaw and Lionpaw.

But this… realm. It had something that had no parallel in ThunderClan. Half Moon. Jaypaw hadn't known her long but thinking of the way she looked at him with those deep green eyes made his pelt heat up and want to yowl his heart out so each and every star in the night sky could hear everything he had in him. There was no one like her in ThunderClan and Jaypaw was starting to think she was what was making this place special.

Jaypaw shifted again in his nest. He could feel how old the moss was. It was dry and prickly against his fir but he didn't care. He turned so he was looking at the exit of the den where the softpaws had walked out.

I don't know who they are or where I am but I'm starting to think these cats might be able to make this place feel like home.