Jaypaw gave a growl of anger as his paw hit a surfaced tree root, snapping it and scaring off the little white mouse he was stalking. He straightened from his hunter's crouch into a normal, stiff standing position with his tail waving wildly behind him in frustration.

"Did you miss another one?" Half Moon asked, suddenly appearing from the undergrowth with a mouse of her own in her jaws, dangling from her teeth by its tail.

Jaypaw felt his pelt flush in embarrassment. Great StarClan did she just see me miss such an easy catch? He looked away and shuffled his paws in embarrassment.

"Don't worry about it," Half Moon comforted, padding up to him. Her flank's fur brushed his as she came to a stop at his side. Jaypaw stared at her for a moment, captivated by the way the sun hit her white pelt and reflected off her green eyes in the small clearing he'd been hunting in. He quickly shook his head, extirpating those thoughts. "You're still not completely back to full strength after your trial. I can catch something for you if you'd like."

"No!" Jaypaw said with a bit more force than he intended. Half Moon took a step away from him. Jaypaw immediately felt guilty. "Wait, I didn't mean it like that. It's just… in his speech, Furled Bracken talked about how sharpclaws catch their own prey. It really hit me, y'know?"

"Jay's Wing, you've been catching your own prey for moons," Half Moon pointed out.

Right. Jaypaw had been with these mysterious tunnel cats for a few days now and they were becoming so familiar that every once in awhile he slipped up, forgetting they didn't know who he really was. In this case, he knew that Half Moon didn't know of his struggles within himself that he'd had since kithood. "I know but…"

"I get it," Half Moon told him. She leaned forward and swiped her tongue over his cheek affectionately. Jaypaw felt his heart flutter. "In a way, I guess. Becoming a sharpclaw is such a big part of our lives… Not being able to hunt must make you feel like you're moving backwards, not forwards. Like you're a kit again and not a sharpclaw."

"Yes! Exactly," Jaypaw said, nodding. Well, not exactly. It was close enough. Now being sighted, he had hoped he would finally be able to hunt properly but he was even worse than he was when he was blind. He had caught prey a number of times back in ThunderClan but none while with the Tribe of Still Water. It made him feel like… like… It feels like things haven't changed as much as I'd hoped.

"Cheer up," Half Moon encouraged, butting her head against his shoulder playfully with a joyful gleam in her eyes. "You'll be back to your old self in no time."

"I know but…" Jaypaw trailed off, not knowing what to say.

"How about we take you to Rising Moon when we get back to the cave?"

"..." Which one is Rising Moon? The name sounded familiar but Jaypaw couldn't think of a face that matched the name.

"My mother taught me everything I know about healing herbs," Half Moon went on. Jaypaw relaxed as he remembered Rising Moon. She was Half Moon's mother and about to have her second litter. She had given him dock leaves to rub on his raw paws. "And she's a sharpclaw so you can tell her anything that you can't tell me that happened to you in the trial."

"Yeah, it'd be nice to talk about that," Jaypaw said before he knew what he was saying. He blinked, surprised with himself. Why did I say that? He felt a memory threatening to surface in the back of his mind. He tried to recall it but something in him pushed it back down into the farthest depts of his mind and out of reach.

The tip of Jaypaw's tail curled in annoyance. That had been happening a lot. Anytime he thought back to the tunnels, he would feel a vague memory come to him but then lose it. Of course he remembered searching for his stick but-

My stick! Jaypaw felt a panic rise up in his chest. How could he have forgotten his beloved stick? How could he forget the only friend he had for moons and moons? How could he forget his only solace from his days as a blind medicine cat apprentice?

Deep down, he knew how he forgot about his friend. He had new ones.

His stick was his escape from the life he hated but this new life, it was a bliss. Jaypaw was suddenly aware of how bad he used to feel. He'd always felt a low energy, barely pushing him along and unhappy with the cats around him. He hadn't felt that feeling in days. It was like a river had suddenly carved a path in a dry, empty gorge, the water washing away the old, dull stones, bringing in new ones and encouraged the plants to grow.

Before he emerged from those tunnels, Jaypaw couldn't remember the last time he had been happy. And in this very moment, with Half Moon at his side, surrounded by the trees and forest sounds, with the warm sun on his pelt, Jaypaw truly felt happy.

Half Moon tilted her head and looked into Jaypaw's clear blue eyes. "Jay's Wing? Are you alright?"

"I'm… I'm fantastic," Jaypaw replied with a smile. "Come on, let's head back home."

"But you don't have any fresh-kill."

"Don't worry," Jaypaw said. "I can catch something later. You said it yourself, I am a sharpclaw. I can hunt for myself. I am Jay's Wing after all."

A low rumble echoed through the medicine den. Jay's Wing shifted in his nest and glanced down at his belly with his blind eyes. He'd been here for days and these cats wouldn't even let him out to hunt! Did they expect him to starve? Injured as he was, there were much faster ways to kill him.

"Was that you Jaypaw?" Leafpool asked from across the den. Jay's Wing ignored her. He heard Leafpool let out a long sigh. "Was that you Jay's Wing?"

Nice try. Using his proper name wasn't going to get him to admit his weakness to his captors. Did they really think he was that foolish?

"I know you're hungry, Jayp- Jay's Wi- Jay," Leafpool said, padding over to sit by his nest. Jaypaw didn't move to look at her. Just let me be. "Lionpaw and Hollypaw have returned to their duties and have been working extra hard to catch prey for you, you're parents too. You've got to eat. If not for you, for them, your family. They're worried about you."

"They're not my family," Jay's Wing growled so low, it was barely audible.

"Jay…"

"I don't know you cats!" Jay's Wing finally snapped. "Why can't you just let me leave?"

"Jay, you're injured. Even if you weren't my clanmate, even of you were a rogue or a cat from another clan, as a medicine cat I couldn't let you leave," Leafpool told him gently. "It's my job to make sure you get better."

Jay's Wing scoffed. "And you do that by forcing me to take herbs and starving me? By trying to kill me?"

Jay's Wing sensed surprise and genuine shock radiate from the she-cat beside him. He blinked. Did I judge them wrong? Unlikely but part of him was still clinging to the hope that these cats weren't his enemies.

"What? Is that really what you think I'm trying to do? I could never to that, Jaypa- Jay," Leafpool responded, sounding hurt. If he could see, Jay's Wing was sure her eyes would be as round and wet as the latter of what he could only assume was her namesake. "I'm trying to heal you and your clan is trying their best to feed you."

Jay's Wing didn't say anything. As his belly yowled all through each and every night, his wounds throbbing and his head splitting, he nearly gave in time and time again into the pain and hunger but he still didn't trust these cats. His prey could be drugged or even crowfood for all he knew and poppy seeds made him too drowsy to properly defend himself if they attacked. Still, Leafpool had a point. He was stuck here until his wounds healed.

Leafpool sighed again. "Tell you what, Jay. Hollypaw is out on patrol but I think Lionpaw is doing Mousefur's ticks. How about I ask him to take you out to get something to eat?"

Jay's Wing's ears perked at Leafpool's words but still didn't lift his head. Was he finally going to be able to leave? And hunt? I'm starving… I need to eat and soon…

Jay's Wing waited until he heard Leafpool pad out to retrieve his supposed brother to look up. He flexed his shoulders to release some of the tension but instead suddenly became aware of his body's weakness. I feel… different. I've only been here for a few days… there's no way laying around for this little time has caused my body to change this much. Muscle doesn't degrade this fast...

He decided not to concern himself with that, especially not now with him going out soon an all. With a grunt, he began heaving himself onto his paws. He pushed into the ground with his forelegs, the stone floor feeling strange against his pads. Surprisingly, it wasn't as painful as the first time he tried it.

That changed the moment his upper body was drawn to full height and he tried standing on his back legs. He gave a sharp yowl of pain and bit his cheek to keep himself from crying out further as he eased more weight onto his hind legs. Slowly, he began to draw himself up more.

"Jaypaw!"

Jay's Wing nearly fell over when Lionpaw burst into the den.

"Lionpaw, give him some space."

"Right. Sorry."

Jay's Wing didn't respond as he grit his teeth, trying to level his back but another jolt of pain shot up his spine. He gave a small gasp and his knees buckled, sending him into a sitting position. He flinched as he hit the stone floor.

Lionpaw was at his side again in an instant. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Jay's Wing said through clenched teeth. I am not fine. That hurt like… like… Jay's Wing's mind came to a blank. There was some expression he was failing to think of. He shook himself. Not the time to try and recall memories. He was idle for most of the day, he had plenty of time to do that later. Right now, he had to get off his tail to keep himself from starving. And fast, before these cats changed their minds.

Jay's Wing tried to lift his rear up again and managed to after several agonizingly slow heartbeats but try as he might, he couldn't draw himself up to full height.

"Don't push yourself Jaypa- Jay," Leafpool advised. "You're back legs are pretty injured and the wounds on your back and stomach will prevent you from maintaining proper posture."

That must be why all my muscles hurt so much too. He recalled Rising Moon telling him something like that once.

"Come on, Jaypaw," Lionpaw said, slowly coming to his side. Jay's Wing flinched as the tips of their shoulder fur touched. Lionpaw slowly started walking, guiding Jay's Wing. "We're not going far."

"Rising Moon?" Half Moon popped her head into a den not far from Jaypaw's own den. Jaypaw glanced around, he hadn't been in here before but it looked much like his own den except her nest was larger to accommodate for her larger flank swollen with kits.

"Half Moon, Jay's Wing," Rising Moon greeted with a nod, looking up from where she was resting. "What brings you here?"

"Jay's Wing's been kinda… off."

"How?"

"He hasn't… uh, been able to hunt really since he got back," Half Moon explained. Jaypaw felt his pelt flush in embarrassment again. This wasn't something he really liked broadcasting to the group.

Rising Moon slowly got to her paws.

"Oh, you don't need to get up," Jaypaw said quickly. He knew this wasn't something a medicine cat could fix, he didn't want to be a bother.

"Nonsense," Rising Moon told him, looking over him. "You seem fine. Have you had proper hydration and sustenance since you got back?"

Jaypaw nodded. The tribe, of course, had no fresh-kill pile since every cat hunted for themself but his tribemates had been more than generous, understanding that he was weak from spending so much time in the tunnels.

That was odd, really. Jaypaw himself hadn't spent all that time in the tunnels but it felt like he had and it really took a toll on his body. And he could remember… something about the tunnels- something important- but he wasn't really sure what. Like he really had been down there all that time but a fog came in and covered the memory.

Rising Moon began to look him over more thoroughly. Jaypaw, being a medicine cat himself, knew she wouldn't find anything which is why her frown shocked him. She looked up at her daughter. "Half Moon, can you leave us?"

"What, why?" Half Moon questioned, alarmed. "Is there something wrong?"

"No, no." Rising Moon waved her grey tail in assurance. "I just need to ask about what happened in the trial and, as you know, you're not allowed to hear about that."

"I understand," Half Moon said with a dip of her head. She faintly touched Jaypaw's shoulder before padding away. "I'm going to go out hunting again. If you want to come find me, I'll be out by that big oak."

"Alright," Jaypaw responded despite not knowing where she was talking about. They lived in a forest, there were probably more oaks than hairs on his pelt. "See you later."

When the young tom looked back to the pregnant she-cat, he was surprised by the sudden serious manner on her face.

"Have you spoken to any other sharpclaws about their trials?" Rising Moon asked.

"Um, yes." Over the past few days, several of his fellow sharpclaws had congratulated him. Those conversations usually involved some kind of discussion about the Rite of Passage. From what Jaypaw gathered, softpaws would usually go underground and enter a massive maze that stretched beneath the territory. They began in the morning and had until the next morning to navigate the maze and resurface. When the sun began to set, the tunnels would begin to flood. If a cat got lost and strayed too far from the exit, they wouldn't be able to make it out in time.

That was what made Jaypaw's trial astonishing. He should have died down there but here he was, alive and breathing. A number of sharpclaws believed he hadn't really gone down there but even more were excited by the idea of a multi-day trial, asking him what happened on the second and third days. If the ancestors sent floods on the first, surely they sent something worse on the following days.

There were a few cats, Jaypaw noticed they were the quieter ones, had mentioned something about seeing more than just floods down there that they, like Furled Bracken, could only describe as horrors.

Jaypaw didn't really know what they were talking about but hearing them always stirred some memory in the back of his mind. Maybe he had seen them. He didn't remember going through the trial but hearing all the stories was starting to scare him into thinking he really had and something warped his memory. Maybe he really was Jay's Wing and whatever it was down in the tunnels made him believe otherwise.

Jaypaw shook his head, clearing those thoughts. He couldn't think like that. He was Jaypaw, he knew that. He was the sharp-tongued, stubborn, unlovable to any cat except his kin, antisocial ThunderClan medicine cat apprentice who dreamed of being a warrior. He wasn't this Jay's Wing that everyone kept calling him.

"Jay's Wing?"

Jaypaw shook his head again. "I'm sorry, did you say something?"

"Yeah, I asked if you noticed anything strange about your trial compared to the stories you heard."

Jaypaw nodded slowly, once again searching his mind for those memories he wasn't sure existed. "Yeah- wait. You mean other than the fact I was down there for two days longer?"

Rising Moon nodded. "I can only assume that a different kind of trial took place on those days."

Jaypaw once again nodded slowly. He parted his jaws to speak but no words came out.

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," Rising Moon told him softly. Jaypaw nodded, relief washing over him like a water over riverbed stones. "It would just help me know if there was something… deeper wrong with you."

"What do you mean?" Jaypaw frowned.

"Well… You know Furled Bracken was down there for a bit longer than softpaws usually are during their trials? Whispering Breeze too?"

Jaypaw nodded. The two had told him that when he first returned.

"Many sharpclaws had, they never speak of it. Furled Bracken described them as horrors. I can only assume they get worse with each passing day," Rising Moon continued. "You don't have to tell me about them but do you think that they could have… damaged you in anyway that may have affected your ability to hunt?"

Jaypaw blinked at her, not really knowing how to immediately respond. He was torn. He had spent the past several days lying and pretending to be the cat Jay's Wing who everyone seemed to think he was but the cat he was speaking to now, she was a medicine cat. Not quite, of course, but the closest the tribe had. Being a medicine cat himself, he knew how important honesty was.

But at the same time, he couldn't really be honest if he wanted to. Even if he came clean about being Jaypaw, that didn't give anymore information about what happened to him underground.

And he did know what was stopping him from hunting anyway. He had no real training or experience. As much as he wished that this was a physical problem that could be solved with herbs, he knew he just had to learn how to hunt before he starved or embarrassed himself to death.

"I don't think so," Jaypaw responded before adding, "maybe. I'll just work at it, I promise."

"Okay," Rising Moon said before stepping back to settle back down in her nest. "Just let me know if you have any problems."

"Is that Jaypaw?"

"It is!"

"Hey, Jaypaw! Good to see you out and about again."

"Great StarClan, look at those wounds."

"What do you think happened to him?"

"I always thought it was a mistake letting a blind cat out of camp like this."

"Jaypaw!"

Jay's Wing stopped in his pawsteps to crouch back defensively, overwhelmed by the number of cats. Before he knew what he was doing, he felt his lips peel back into a snarl and his ears flatten against his head. A faint hiss escaped his lips.

"Don't worry Jaypaw, they mean the best," Lionpaw comforted. "I could scare them off if you'd like."

"It's not that…"

"Hmm?"

"There are so many of them," Jay's Wing said, flattening his ears back against his head and glancing around.

"I remember the first time you left the nursery," Lionpaw commented wistfully with a low purr. "You said everything was so loud with so many cats around."

"It's not that… There are just… just… so many feelings."

"You've never had problems with your powers before. Just try to remember what you always do."

What? Powers? What powers? I have powers? That would explain a lot. These feelings… these senses he always got, these vibes… He wasn't just imagining them.

Unfortunately, Lionpaw put his tail tip on Jay's Wing's shoulder and began leading him towards the other cats and the grey tom wasn't exactly comfortable asking questions within earshot of his supposed clanmates. He could faintly feel Lionpaw tense and hiss. Jay's Wing's own tail curled as a warm, comforted feeling spread through him. Lionpaw was protecting him.

He snapped his mind away from those thoughts. He knew he couldn't trust Lionpaw no matter how much his heart longed to trust the young apprentice.

"How far are we going?" Jay's Wing asked, taking note of the ache in his body increasing to spikes of pain shooting up his spine and legs. He didn't know how he was going to hunt like this, blind and injured. At least I'm not crippled…

"Just to the fresh-kill pile," Lionpaw responded.

The what? Jay's Wing inhaled through his nose. A delicious smell in the air made him belly rumble. He smelled prey, lots of it.

"Take your pick," Lionpaw instructed.

Jay's Wing looked at him in surprise. I'm to eat another cat's kill? They just have all this food laying around? "You're not making me hunt?"

Jay's Wing sensed confusion in the air as Lionpaw frowned. "No…. You haven't hunted in moons, Jaypaw."

The scents caught Jay's Wing's attention again, making his belly growl again. He closed his eyes to appreciate the flavor in the air. He'd never smelled anything like it. Mouse, pigeon, sparrow, vole, blackbird, rabbit… All the scents were mingled together. He'd never caught more than one or two pieces of prey at a time. He and his fellow softpaws occasionally pooled their prey together during the last cold season but there was never this much. He wished he could see it because if it looked anything like it smelled…

"Jaypaw!"

Jay's Wing heard a voice call out his name and decided he'd been standing around long enough. He tried to focus his sense of smell to pinpoint a piece of prey among the pile. He grabbed a mouse in his teeth and stepped away from the pile. The mouse was quite scrawny but he wasn't about to loiter around here any longer than he had to or dig through the pile of food. "Let's head back."

"Really? You don't want to eat out here?" Lionpaw questioned. "You've been in the medicine den for days, I thought you'd want some fresh air or at least eat a couple pieces of prey. Leafpool told me you haven't been eating."

"There are too many cats," Jay's Wing told him, glancing around. He fur on his body began to rise and he pawed the ground nervously. Why are there so many cats? How many cats are there anyway? If he'd been able to see, he might not be as anxious as he was but being surrounded by enemies like this…

"I understand," Lionpaw said and went to Jay's Wing's side, their flanks barely touching as Lionpaw led the blind tom towards the medicine den.

Jay's Wing did not mind their closeness nor was he very surprised when he found himself comforted by the warmth and strength of Lionpaw's flank against his own.