"Now, what is this?" Leafpool asked. A skid was heard as she slid some kind of herb across the floor of the medicine cat den.

Jay's Wing lowered his nose to take a whiff of it. His muzzle crinkled at the bitter smell. "Borage?" he guessed. Leafpool sighed, disappointment evident in the sound, and tucked the herb back into the herb stores. She didn't even correct him. Jay's Wing felt his anger rise, his face hardening. "How do you expect me to learn anything if you don't correct me?"

"You're already supposed to know all of this," Leafpool said. There was no anger, no force, in her voice. Jay's Wing could feel despair radiating off her as strongly as he felt her gaze bore into his head where he still had dressings. He ducked his head. He didn't like it when she looked at him like that.

A few days ago, Leafpool had told him he could 'return to duties.' He didn't know what that meant but he hadn't think it was this. He didn't even know what 'this' was. Leafpool just showed him some weird plant and asked him what it was called and what it was used for. How was that at all useful? Jay's Wing had overheard these cats calling themselves warriors. The word implied they were fighters. Memorizing the names of a bunch of random plants seemed kind of pointless especially to a fighter.

Being blind didn't help much either. Jay's Wing could tell his senses of hearing and smell were sharper than before which was nice but he didn't really care about that. He just wanted to see, even if it was just to see these weird plants, the den he was staying in, and the pelt of the cat taking care of him.

After a few days of being taught about herbs, Jay's Wing realized that holding onto the belief that he was these cats prisoner was pretty silly. Learning medicine benefited no one except himself and, as boring as it was, it would be a pretty unusual punishment. These cats genuinely believed that he was whoever this Jaypaw was and were just treating him as they did him.

In the latest hours of the night when Jay's Wing lay in his nest listening to Leafpool's steady breathing and dreaming of running away, his mind would often drift. He often got those strange sensations he'd been getting since he arrived here but when his mind went silent and he was left in his own self-pity, Jay's Wing felt himself feeling more sorry for Jaypaw than himself. At first, it surprised him but as more time passed, it was pretty obvious why.

Jaypaw couldn't hunt for himself. He only ate other cats' prey.

His kin smothered him, hardly leaving him alone. They constantly pressed, trying to make him to let them in. Jay's Wing wasn't an incredibly reserved cat but it seemed Jaypaw was and no cat respected that.

Jaypaw was something called a medicine cat apprentice rather than a warrior. Rather than racing around the territory, hunting, or learning to fight, Jaypaw was stuck in this stuffy den listening to descriptions of the uses of these stinky plants. He must hate it. Especially if he knew he was being denied a much better life.

Thinking back to his old life with the Tribe of Still Water, Jay's Wing felt guilty for every time he thought his life was hard. For the star cats' sake, Jaypaw was blinder than a badger. Jay's Wing couldn't remember how many times he cursed himself for missing a catch or complaining about having to wake up early for training or got embarrassed when someone fussed over his injuries. Jay's Wing found himself longing for that all again. He couldn't find words to express his thoughts but he felt sorry. Sorry that Jaypaw had such a disadvantaged life and lost so many opportunities. Jaypaw probably longed to have everything that Jay's Wing ever complained about.

Sitting on his haunches on the smooth medicine den floor, Jay's Wing let his blind gaze glaze over as he imagined suddenly waking up in the tunnels, the spirit of Falcon Swoop standing over him, telling him that this was some kind of test or lesson or something sent by the cats in the night sky to remind him how fortunate he was. Jaypaw wasn't exactly suffering but his life was hard in a way that no one else could see save, perhaps, that elder Longtail but even he didn't fully understand what Jaypaw went through. What Jaypaw was going through.

Just for a moment, Jay's Wing let himself believe that this was just his ancestors trying to teach him that. That they used their power to pull him into a dream or something.

Jay's Wing was snapped out of this thoughts at the sound of pawsteps. Light, soft, precise. Leafpool's. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to go visit Littlecloud," Leafpool said. There was a slowness, a hesitation, in her voice as if she'd just decided on that.

"Who?"

"The ShadowClan medicine cat."

"I thought you were the ShadowClan medicine cat."

Leafpool gave a long, sad sigh. Jay's Wing once again felt a wave of sorrow wash over her like a lazy stream over a pebble at the bottom of the riverbed. Leafpool paused her movements for a heartbeat. "I'm the ThunderClan medicine cat."

"There's more than one clan?" This was news to him.

Leafpool nodded. Her emotions were suddenly less clear cut, Jay's Wing couldn't make much sense of them. This happened a lot. "Other than ThunderClan, there's WindClan, RiverClan, and ShadowClan. Out of all the clans' medicine cats, Littlecloud and Barkface have been medicine cats the longest. I wanted to… I want to ask them if they know anything that can help with your… condition."

"My blindness?"

"Your memory loss."

Jay's Wing's lip peeled back as he narrowed his eyes. His tail tip twitched indignantly but he clamped his jaw shut, not knowing what to say but knowing that anything he could have said wouldn't be good.

"I'll be back before long," Leafpool promised. She threw one last glance over her shoulder before padding through the opening leaving Jay's Wing alone in the shadows that filled the den.

Jaypaw woke to the sound of alarmed mews and tongues lapping his messy grey fur. His eyes snapped open at the sudden commotion and jumped to his paws, startled, sending some of the moss from his nest flying across his den.

"Jay's Wing!" Half Moon began nosing him over. "You're covered in scratches!"

"These are worse than just scratches," Dove's Wing pointed out. "They're claw marks."

"Uh…" Jaypaw didn't really know what to say. The she-cats just barged into his den unannounced. He had no time to think of an explanation for the cuts covering his body. At least I had the sense to put dressings on them…

"Let him be," Fish Leap said from the den's entrance. Unlike his companions, he just sort of drifted over, not being too forward. He looked pretty tired but Jaypaw had gotten to know Fish Leap well enough over the past few days to realize that was just kinda how he was. Careless, relaxed, unless something got him going. He was easy to be around.

"Fish Leap," Dove's Wing whined. "He's injured. How can you not be concerned?"

Fish Leap parted his jaws as if to speak but instead gave a long, loud yawn. He blinked a few times at the grey she-cat. "Because I don't care?"

Dove's Wing glared at him, lashing her tail threateningly. Fish Leap's eyes widened and he leaned back a bit. His paw scraped some dirt up from the ground as he slid it back.

"I mean, uh, I'm sure he's fine. They're just scratches."

"Claw marks."

"It's not like we've never had a tussle or two with some loners or rouges." Fish Leap shrugged. "Relax. You're not his mother. No need to fuss over him."

"Really, I'm fine," Jay's Wing insisted, jumping into the conversation. A slight nervousness rose in his chest as his mind scrambled for an explanation. "Like Fish Leap said, it was just some rogues. When I was, uh, out hunting. They tried stealing my kill."

"Did they?"

"Um. Yes."

Dove's Wing sighed and rolled her eyes. She looked exasperated but there was a playful glint in her eye. "You're a sharpclaw now, Jay's Wing. You've got to get yourself together. You're getting kind of pathetic, you know that?"

"Y-yeah," Jaypaw stammered. He could see the amusement in her eye, the humor etched on her face, but it still hurt. It stung. Right in his chest. I'm trying. I really am. And it's not enough.

Fish Leap somehow seemed to pick up on Jaypaw's hurt. Maybe it was his eyes. Jaypaw wasn't good at reading cats. He, obviously, wasn't used to seeing cats' faces and that made it hard for him to control his own expressions. He didn't know how he was supposed to look let alone how to hide his feelings. It was easier when he was blind. His blindness seemed to hide it.

Jaypaw blinked, startled, as that thought passed through his mind. Sight was a blessing. So what if he wasn't used to it? He was a sharpclaw. A pretty bad one but still a sharpclaw. That was basically a warrior and that was all he wanted.

Fish Leap abandoned his place by the den's entrance and lost his lazy demeanor as he made his way over to his friend. "I overheard some cats saying some stuff about the tunnels. Apparently whatever's down there really messes you up. It's no wonder you're so off, Jay's Wing, after being down there for so long. Just get some rest and you'll be back to your old self in no time."

Jaypaw dipped his head, not really knowing what to say. Gratitude washed over him. As much as he liked Dove's Wing's sisterly concern and humor and as much as he loved being around Half Moon and feeling that light, fluttering feeling in his chest whenever she was around, they were hard to be around sometimes. He wasn't used to so much contact. Fish Leap kept an appropriate distance and Jaypaw appreciated that.

Fish Leap butted his head against Jaypaw's shoulder in a friendly manner but the motion quickly turned into a gentle shoving and Jaypaw found himself back in his nest in a heartbeat.

"I get that I need to rest but I literally just woke up," Jaypaw told him, trying to get back up but Fish Leap put a paw on his head. It in no way would stop him from getting up but it clearly implied that the brown tabby wanted him to stay down.

"Just stay here," Fish Leap told him. He gave to explanation but the look in his eyes was the only one Jaypaw needed and the former medicine cat apprentice settled down.

Jay's Wing pawed the moss in his nest, frustrated. Clumps of moss were shredded under his sheathed claws, that's how frustrated he was. Laying around was so boring. No longer plotting to escape, Jay's Wing had nothing to occupy himself. He was still hurt, he couldn't leave. Even if he could, he doubted he would try. It was hard enough to get around the den blind let alone through whatever was outside.

Jay's Wing's injuries were healing. It had probably been a half-moon since the incident. His flank and legs didn't burn every time he moved and his head still throbbed but it wasn't so bad. He still had trouble standing but Leafpool had done some exercises with him to regain the ability to do so.

Exercises. That could be a good pastime. But Leafpool told him not to do them alone…

"Hello? Leafpool?"

Jay's Wing jumped at the sound of the unfamiliar voice. The motion sent pain shooting up his neck from his back. He swallowed a yowl, not wanting to show weakness to this stranger.

"Oh, Jaypaw," the stranger greeted. "Is Leafpool around?"

"Um. No."

If he could see, he was sure that the stranger would be frowning. From the sound of the voice, it was a she-cat. Her voice was soft and light. Jay's Wing wasn't that good at recognizing pawsteps but her steps sounded heavier than Leafpool or Hollypaw's. She didn't walk with their strength, skill, confidence, or precision. This cat was no warrior.

"That's too bad. I thought she was still out and I didn't want to bother you… being injured and all but Toadkit... How are you doing, Jaypaw?"

"I'm fine," Jay's Wing answered. He didn't know if that was a lie or not. He didn't really know how he felt. "Fine enough to help you, if I can. What do you need?"

"It's Toadkit," the stranger said. Jay's Wing suddenly became aware of another cat in the den. A kit. How did I not hear him? Kits are so loud. "He got a thorn in his paw."

Jay's Wing beckoned the kit over with his tail, not wanting to get up in case he fell over. That would be embarrassing. He focused his hearing on the floor, listening to tiny, uneven steps towards him. If he had more experience, he would have been able to tell Toadkit was holding up his forepaw as he hobbled over.

Jay's Wing lowered his head to meet the kit's outstretched paw once he was near enough. He ran his whiskers over it, not knowing how else to figure out what was wrong. Toadkit made a noise, the whiskers tickling the sensitive underside of his foot but the thorn hurting too much to laugh. "Have you tried licking it out?"

Toadkit shook his head. "No but Daisy tried when she realized Leafpool wasn't around. I don't know why we didn't come here earlier. You've gotten them out fine before, Jaypaw, and it really hurts."

So he'd done this before. Or rather Jaypaw had. That meant they were expecting him to be able to do this and something deep down inside him really didn't want to let them down. Jay's Wing opened his mouth and began lapping at the kit's paw. He'd done this before, it was easier to get a thorn out of someone else's paw than your own. He'd done it before with Dove's Wing. Now shouldn't be so different.

Only it was because he was freaking blind. But Jaypaw was supposedly able to do it and Jay's Wing wasn't about to be outmatched from some cat he didn't know.

As Jay's Wing worked at the thorn, sight seeped into his eyes. Or so he thought at first. He quickly realized it was more of an image, like he was watching an event, and it wasn't through his eyes. He felt a strange sensation in his mind as the image became clearer.

"Daisy!" a small kit with dark creamy fur wailed, bounding across the clearing towards the nursery. On the far side of camp, Longtail and Mousefur lazed, basking in the sun. Other cats stood in the distance around the camp paying no mind to the kits in the clearing.

"What is it, dear?" a white she-cat asked as she padded out of the sheltered den towards the kit. She lacked the physique that the rest of the cats in the clearing shared. Her pelt was clean and she had an unwild glow to her. Like a kittypet yet not quite.

"It's Toadkit!" the creamy furred kit said glancing towards… Jay's Wing realized he was seeing out from the eyes of another cat. Toadkit presumably. "He got a thorn in his paw."

"Daisy!" Toadkit cried, throwing his head back and closing his eyes as he gave his high-pitched yowl. As his eyes closed, Jay's Wing feared the vision had ended and his blindness had returned but Toadkit reopened them in a moment. "It hurts."

"I'm coming, dear," Daisy called from across the clearing. Toadkit didn't move as he watched her bound towards him. She ran light yet heavy at the same time. Not without precision but she ran with beauty rather than speed. She really was a quite beautiful cat. Like a mother. Any cat would say his mother was beautiful, she was very motherly. She had kind eyes.

Pain radiated in Toadkit's paw. Jay's Wing knew this wasn't real pain. He, after all, had been struck with a stone and nearly died. Those days he had refused to take poppy seeds, that was real pain. But to a tiny kit who had no experience with pain nor the ability to handle it, the thorn truly hurt.

When Daisy reached her son, she sat beside him and whisked her tail around him protectively though that would do nothing. It was probably an instinctive habit more than anything but Toadkit calmed a bit at his mother's presence.

"Let me see," Daisy instructed, moving away to give him room. Toadkit held up his foreleg and twisted his paw around so the pad was facing the sky. The base of the thorn protrude from the pad. It was clear the long, sharp end was embedded deep in there.

Toadkit shifted impatiently, snapping Jay's Wing out of the vision. With the image of the kit's paw in mind, he hooked the base of the thorn in his teeth and tugged back at an angle. Toadkit gave a small whimper but the thorn slid out cleanly. Jay's Wing spat the thorn out to the side and began lapping at the kit's pad soothingly.

Toadkit purred softly. "Thanks Jaypaw. It feels much better."

"Does he need any herbs?" Daisy asked worriedly. The concern for her kit was clear in her voice. Jay's Wing recalled hearing his own mother using the same tone a number of times. A pang of loss echoed in his chest but he tried to ignore it. Falcon Swoop had died a long time ago. He had no reason to grieve.

Jay's Wing hesitated at the question. He didn't know herbs very well despite having lessons for the past few days. "I don't think so. Just keep him off it and make sure the wound stays clean."

"Alright. Thank you Jaypaw," Daisy said, dipping her head in thanks. She beckoned Toadkit with her fluffy white tail. "Come on dear. I'm sure Rosekit is worried about you and I'm sure Foxkit and Icekit will want to hear about how brave you were."

"Oh yeah!" Toadkit exclaimed, bounding after her. He paused and waved to Jay's Wing before resuming his excited chattering.

Alone once more, Jay's Wing let out a long sigh and slumped over in his nest. He was inexplicably tired. Kits were tiring and so much movement while he was injured didn't help. He also felt a bit lightheaded for some reason. Maybe it had something to do with that weird vision. He didn't question it.

Seeing that Leafpool wasn't going to be back anytime soon, Jay's Wing yawned and settled down in his nest for a nap.

It was late into the night when Jaypaw crept out of the tunnel-like cave that the Tribe of Still Water called home. He suppressed a shiver when his pelt hit the cool air of the forest. He didn't pause to let his eyes adjust to the pitch black darkness. He was used to the dark and even at night, he felt that he could see so much better than he used to.

Under the canopy of the trees, the light of no stars rained down nor did the moon's rays. Jaypaw could vaguely make the outlines of tree trunks which was more than enough to prevent him from running into them.

Jaypaw's injuries throbbed a bit as he slunk through the forest but he ignored it. He knew they weren't bad. Living the sheltered life he had, he just wasn't used to hurting like this but he wasn't about to let it stop him. He had somewhere he needed to be.

As Jaypaw passed what would be the ShadowClan border, the distinct scent of oak morphed into the sharp smell of pine. Leaves and branches no longer making a solid roof over his head, some light trickled down but he didn't need it. He had walked this way many times.

Jaypaw paused as he put his paws down on the smooth ground of a twoleg path. It was different from thunderpath. It didn't instill him with fear or disgust but it still made him stop. It was a reminder of what he was going to do, what he'd been doing. What I'm going to do again. Jaypaw glanced at his pelt, unable to see his injuries in the darkness but he knew they were there. He remembered his friends' concern. Should I really be doing this?

Losing courage, Jaypaw took a step back and turned around back towards ThunderClan territory but he froze once more. The sturdy oaks, the shadows they cast, they made him freeze. They reminded him… I have to do this. I'm going to be a sharpclaw.

And with that final thought, he ran across the path and into the pine forest.