"Ow!" Jaypaw yelped as he felt a sting on his flank. Half Moon didn't respond. She spat the dock leaf she was chewing on to his fur and began applying the paste. Jaypaw hissed as he felt the juices of the herb enter his wounds. "I swear I'm fine. I don't need herbs."

"Keep telling yourself that," Half Moon said sternly. "Now stop moving or this stuff is never going to get into your scratches."

"That's kind of the point," Jaypaw grumbled though he did stop his squirming. Half Moon was right, he was covered in scratches and other injuries once more and they were bound to get infected if he didn't get them treated.

Jaypaw shifted in his nest so he could get a better view of Half Moon. He liked to watch her while she worked. Well, he liked watching any cat and he just kinda liked looking at her in general but it was interesting to see herbs. During his training, he just guessed what they looked like. Leafpool had described them to him before but actually seeing them was something else.

Jaypaw looked to Half Moon. Her eyes were narrowed with focus and her face was hard. Jaypaw's tail tip twitched. That was unusual. Her face was always so light. "Are you mad at me?"

"Why would I be mad at you?"

"I don't know. That's why I'm asking."

Half Moon let out a long, frustrated sigh. "You really are clueless."

Normally, Jaypaw would come back with a snappy retort but he sensed patience was a necessity here. "Then make me unclueless."

"That's not a word."

"It could be. Did you invent cat-tongue?"

"No."

"Then how do you know? Seriously, Half Moon. What'd I do?"

"Half a moon ago you promised me you wouldn't get into anymore fights," Half Moon told him quietly. She sat back on her haunches and removed her paws from his shoulder so she was no longer rubbing the medicine into them. "And now you're all cut up again. How do you expect me do feel?"

"I promise I haven't gotten into any fights. Seriously, the cat I was fighting lives in the pine forest. You can go ask him. I haven't fought with him since you made me promise not too," Jaypaw said honestly. That's technically not a lie. I haven't fought Tiger in half a moon.

Still, he had broken his promise not to fight but that was kind of an unrealistic promise. They were wild cats. They had predators and territory to defend. Even hunting could maybe be considered fighting. Besides, it wasn't like he had actively sought out the fight that had left him injured. It came to him. Or that was at least how he justified slipping into that Place of No Stars each night to train.

Ink proved to be a tough mentor. Training while you were asleep wasn't like anything Jaypaw had ever done before and unlike receiving dreams from StarClan, the training sessions left him very tired afterward.

It was paying off though. Ink wasn't teaching him how to hunt but the fighting increased his awareness and focused his reflexes. He could actually catch his own prey now. He'd manage to convince Fish Leap into having a practice fight with him and he beat him cleanly. The training was in no way fun or easy and it hurt and exhausted him but it made Jaypaw feel good. It made him feel like he could actually live the life of a sharpclaw.

But, as always, he couldn't tell Half Moon. Or he could, she just wouldn't understand. I. Can't. Tell. Her. Anything. It was frustrating. He once briefly expressed his desire to be a great sharpclaw and she didn't understand it as more than her own desire. If he told Hollypaw, Lionpaw or even Berrypaw or Poppypaw, they would understand because he was Jaypaw. Poor blind Jaypaw. Here, he was Jay's Wing which he loved but Jay's Wing had no struggles in his life so no one could understand his wish to rise above them because they didn't exist.

Jaypaw knew he could come clean about being Jaypaw not Jay's Wing but the thought of doing that scared him. Half Moon, Dove's Wing, Fish Leap, they were his friends but they were not his. He considered them friends but they considered Jay's Wing their friend, not Jaypaw. Revealing himself to be another cat would ruin everything.

So he kept his mouth shut and hung his head guiltily every time he disappointed Half Moon.

"I wish I could believe you," Half Moon went on. "But I can't if you keep coming back with all these injuries."

"I swear I haven't been sneaking out at night."

"Oh, so you're just waking up with these?"

"Um, yes?"

"Do you think I'm stupid or something?"

"No! Of course not!" Jaypaw jolted up to face her. Her eyes were round with concern.

"Then why won't you just tell me the truth?" Half Moon begged.

Jaypaw opened his mouth then hesitated. His mind scrambled. He didn't know what to say. Lying had become second nature. He didn't know what to tell her. He couldn't tell her about the Place Of No Stars. Well, he could but something was stopping him from doing so. And he couldn't think of anything else to say. "I… it's… it's…"

"Well?"

"It's the tunnels," Jaypaw blurted before he knew what he was saying.

Half Moon's eyes widened in surprise. "The tunnels?"

"Yeah," Jaypaw said. His memory went back to what Ink had told him upon their first meeting. "On the third day-"

"Don't," Half Moon cut him off. Jaypaw tilted his head in confusion. Doesn't she want to know? Half Moon looked at him dead in the eyes. Does she still think I'm lying? "You're a sharpclaw, Jay's Wing. I'm still a softpaw. You can't tell me about anything that happened in the tunnels until I pass the trial."

Realization dawned on Jaypaw. "Oh. Right. I forgot."

"But you can tell me in a few sunrises," a voice said cheerfully form the den's entrance. Jaypaw turned to see Dove's Wing loitering lazily around the opening in the wall. She waved her tail in greeting before stepping in. "I finally got my tutor to tell Furled Bracken that I'm ready to go."

"Really? That's great!" Half Moon exclaimed.

Dove's Wing nodded excitedly. "I know right! Furled Bracken wanted to delay it even longer after what happened to Jay's Wing but Whispering Breeze managed to convince him that wasn't going to happen again. Still, if you're willing to break the rules…"

"No," Jaypaw stated. "You get to go into the Rite of Passage as clueless as any other cat."

Dove's Wing stuck her tongue out playfully at him. "You're such a bore. Anyway, I came by to ask about what you did for your preparations. I know you just remembered what Fallen Leaves had done but I, y'know…"

"Need some help?"

"Yeah."

"The only stuff I can tell you about the trial is stuff you already know," Jaypaw said choosing his words carefully. He probably knew even less than they did but he wasn't about to reveal that. "You know that the trial lasts a day right?"

Dove's Wing nodded. "Yeah. A day in the tunnels."

"Well, there's no food down there and you're going to get pretty tired," Jaypaw told her. "You're going to get pretty tired. You should eat some traveling herbs before you go."

"Traveling herbs?"

"I've never heard of traveling herbs," Half Moon said. "Are you just pulling her tail, Jay's Wing?"

"No, of course not. I wouldn't mess around with something like this," Jaypaw said. I nearly died down there. I may not know why but I'm not about to let the same thing happen to Dove's Wing. "Sorrel, daisy, chamomile, and burnet. They keep cats energized and prevent them from getting hungry for awhile."

"That sounds useful."

"Where'd you learn about that?"

Jaypaw shrugged. "I dunno. I must've overheard it from some cat."

The two she-cat seemed to accept this answer. With no medicine cats in the tribe, herb knowledge just floated around among the group. It wasn't uncommon for a cat to not remember where they learned something.

"Do you know where I can find some?" Dove's Wing asked.

Jaypaw shrugged again. "Sorry. Maybe ask Rising Moon or Running Horse?"

Dove's Wing nodded and began heading towards the exit. "Okay thanks!"

"Wait, I'll come with you," Jaypaw said getting to his paws. He felt a forceful paw on his back push him back down.

"Oh no you're not," Half Moon told him sharply. "You're staying here until I finish putting this dock on your scratches."

"Yes Half Moon," Jaypaw responded sulkily.

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay?"

"I'm fine. Go."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! For the star cats' sake, just go. You already missed your medicine cat thing because of me. You don't have to miss this Gathering thing too."

Leafpool and Jay's Wing were standing outside their shared den, Jay's Wing lashing his tail irritably. The sun had begun to set and cats were gathering at the camp's exit to head over to this moon's Gathering but instead of joining her clanmates, Leafpool was fussing over Jay's Wing.

"Seriously. I'll be fine. Go. It's not like I'm going to be alone or anything," Jay's Wing pushed. "Firestar's making Hollypaw and Lionpaw go because they've been spending so much time with me instead of doing anything fun. Same should go for you too."

"But then you won't be here with anyone you… remember," Leafpool protested.

"I'll be fine for one night," Jay's Wing promised. "It's not like I've never spent a night alone. I'll probably be sleeping anyway. I'll hardly notice."

"But what if something happens?"

"Nothing has happened to me since I got here other than those spazzy headaches I used to get but they're gone. I haven't had one in forever and if I did, I know where the poppy seeds are."

"You can't just take a bunch of poppy seeds."

"Well, that's all you'd be giving me if you stayed back. Come on Leafpool, just go have the night to yourself. You said you wanted to talk with the other medicine cats. Now's the time. I'll be fine. You won't be gone the whole night and I can call out to someone staying back if anything happens."

"The other ThunderClan cats don't know about your memory loss," Leafpool told him softly. Jay's Wing narrowed his eyes but did not correct her. Now wasn't the time. "If you talk to them and…"

"Don't worry about it. Chances are nothing will happen anyway. Just go to the stupid Gathering Leafpool."

"Are you sure?"

"After all that you think I'm not sure?"

Leafpool sighed. "Okay, okay. I'll go. But you better be here when I get back."

"Where could I possibly go?"

Leafpool didn't respond. Jay's Wing heard her pawsteps patter off towards the camp's entrance. He let out a long sigh and let out a long sigh. By the stars, it shouldn't take that much effort to convince an overworked cat to do take a night to herself.

Jay's Wing gave a big yawn and ran his tongue over his paw and washing his ears. He couldn't remember the last time he'd groomed. Being blind also unfortunately meant he couldn't see if his fur was dirty or not and being injured meant that he got pretty gross pretty fast between the blood, the dressings, and just plain sitting around all day. He winced as his tongue hit his fur and immediately flinched and began coughing. I'm rank!

Jay's Wing turned to his flank and was immediately met with the irony taste of blood mixed with the bitterness of herbs. He gagged and began spitting. Seriously, did no one clean me up while I was unconscious? I'm disgusting! How did Toadkit not scream when he saw me when he came into the den last half moon? I must look so gross!

Jay's Wing gave up using his tongue pretty quickly and wandered back into the medicine den. I know there's a little stream that runs in here… But if I use moss I'm just going to end up making a mess and I can't just sit in it. I'd contaminate the water… Jay's Wing sighed. This is going to be such a pain.

Jay's Wing sat down next to the small pool formed in the back of the medicine den and immediately felt tired even though he hadn't done anything yet. He closed his eyes for a moment, debating whether or not to go to sleep. No. I spend way too much time sleeping. If I don't do this, Leafpool or Hollypaw or someone will do it. This is the least I can do. They've all done so much for me, even if they won't accept who I am.

Jay's Wing dipped his paw into the water and flung water onto himself. He flinched at the contact and used every ounce of willpower he had to resist the urge to shake it off. Come on, it's just water, Jay's Wing. You can put up with a little bit of water.

Jay's Wing squeezed his eyes shut as he braced before scooping another pawful of water over his pelt. He suppressed a shiver. This is going to be a long night.

"Psst. Foxkit. Are you a wake?" a voice whispered through the darkness.

A reddish tabby tom lifted his head from the thick layer of moss that surrounded him and blinked a few times, vision blurry and the den dark. "Icekit?"

Foxkit felt the moss shift as his sister scrambled over. Her snow white pelt stood out in the dark as she maneuvered around Ferncloud, careful not to wake her. The pair was nearing their sixth moon of life and their apprenticeship. They were plenty experienced with moving around without waking their mother after sharing a nest for so long. It was getting harder, they were nearly the size of some of the younger apprentices, but they took the challenge readily.

"What are you doing?" Foxkit asked. He could see his sister's bright blue eyes gleaning in the trickle of moonlight that shone into the nursery. "It's the middle of the night."

Icekit tilted her head looking hurt but Foxkit knew she was feigning it. "I thought you of all cats would be up for some nighttime sneaking around but I guess not…"

Foxkit slapped her in the face with his tail. Not too hard though. He didn't want to hurt her or wake Ferncloud. He grinned at her. "Of course I do! I can't believe I'm not the one suggesting it. What did you have in mind? Rubbing bile in the apprentice's nest… Hiding bones around the camp…"

"Not a prank," Icekit said firmly. "No more pranks. We almost got caught last time."

Foxkit waved his tail dismissively but he paused when he couldn't think of another response. It's true… We did almost get caught last time. Oh well, I'll be better next time. "So what do you want to do?"

"Let's get outside first," Icekit said, flicking her ears in the direction of their sleeping mother. Ferncloud was breathing rhythmically, her grey flank rising and falling with each breath. Icekit slipped out of the nest and Foxkit moved to follow her when he felt Ferncloud shift and her slow breathing pause for a moment. The two kits froze immediately. Ferncloud let out a long sigh and shifted again before her usual breathing resumed. Icekit and Foxkit relaxed with relief and the red tabby stepped out of the nest after his sister. They were home free.

As they stepped out of the nursery, Foxkit's fur prickled at the cool air. Above, the moon was bright and full. Foxkit gazed up at it. A smoky grey cloud drifted over it. Foxkit closed his eyes. Soon, I'll be an apprentice and I'll get to go to the Gathering each full moon.

"Foxkit!" Icekit hissed. Foxkit opened his eyes to look at his sister. She beckoned him to follow. "Come on."

"Where are we going?" Foxkit asked, trotting to catch up with her.

"The medicine den."

"Why? Even I know better not to mess with Leafpool's herbs…"

"Not everything we do has to be trouble, Foxkit," Icekit sighed. She paused in her steps and looked down at her paws. Foxkit stopped beside her and put his nose to the top of her head comfortingly, thinking something was wrong. When Icekit looked back up at him, her eyes shone with worry. "It's just…"

"Jaypaw?" Foxkit questioned. Icekit nodded. Foxkit glanced over at the medicine den and felt something weigh down in his chest. Jaypaw… I haven't seen him in… How long has it been? A moon? A moon and a half? Not since Dustpelt showed up at the nursery covered in blood to tell Ferncloud to not let us out…

"I want to go see if he's okay," Icekit said, snapping Foxkit from his thoughts. "I miss him."

"Me too," Foxkit agreed. "But don't you think Leafpool's keeping him in the medicine den for a reason?"

Icekit shrugged. "I don't know. She went to the Gathering so he's well enough to leave alone…"

"Oh. Good point," Foxkit said. It made sense and he couldn't imagine why Leafpool wasn't letting them visit Jaypaw. Hollypaw and Lionpaw were great but after becoming apprentices they were never around. They weren't mean or anything but Jaypaw was always there and he would spend time with them when Leafpool wasn't making him sort herbs or something. Sure Jaypaw didn't play like he used to and he was kind of prickly but Foxkit still liked him a lot. He didn't understand why he couldn't see him.

Foxkit met his sister's gaze. She looked a bit guilty. Foxkit gave a friendly smile and waved his tail excitedly. "Cheer up, sis. Come on, let's go see Jaypaw!"

Icekit's expression stiffened then lit up. "Really?"

"Do you really think I'd say no?" Foxkit questioned.

Icekit laughed. "No, I guess not."

"Then what are we waiting for?" Foxkit asked before breaking into a run and charged across camp. He could hear Icekit's laugh as she raced after him.

The camp wasn't too big so it didn't take long to make it to the medicine den from the nursery. Foxkit skidded to a halt, paws scuffing up the sandy ground as he slid. Icekit managed to stop a bit more gracefully than her brother. Within moments, the two were poking their heads into the medicine den.

The first thing Foxkit noticed as the strong scent of herbs. No matter how many times he came here, he could never get used to that powerful smell that hit him upon entering. He couldn't imagine spending a night in here let alone living here. Leafpool and Jaypaw's olfactory sensors had to be dead after living here for so long.

The second thing Foxkit noticed was the thin figure sitting in the back of the den. The shadows seemed to envelop him. Foxkit couldn't quite see the cat clearly but two cloudy blue eyes cut right through the dark. Foxkit shivered. It felt like those eyes could see right through him, piercing his heart like frozen claws. No, his soul. Foxkit found himself unable to move. His legs buckled behind him. What's this feeling? I've never felt like this before…

"Who are you?" The voice cut through the night as sharp as those eyes.

"I-It's Icekit," Icekit stuttered. She could feel it too. "A-and Foxkit…"

"I've never heard those names," the voice responded.

"J-Jaypaw?"

"Jaypaw, it's us," Foxkit said. Drawing on every bit of bravery he had in him, he pulled together enough courage to take a step forward. It was shaky but there wasn't much he could do about that. For StarClan's sake, why am I so scared? It's not like I've never seen Jaypaw's eyes at night.

"I'm not Jaypaw," the voice said. Soft pawsteps could be heard and the cat slunk forward from the shadows of the back of the den. The cat stepped where the moonlight came in. The light hit a pelt. It was grey with lean muscles beneath it and herbs and dressings plastered onto it. The cat stood tall and proud, sightless eyes looking down on the kits intimidatingly. He wasn't much taller than them but his presence towered over them and Foxkit found himself shrinking away.

Icekit seemed to find her courage. "Then who are you? You look just like him."

The cat- a tom- hesitated. Foxkit's eyes fell on a thick dressing on the top of his head. For a brief moment, fear flashed in the tom's eyes but his eyes turned back to frozen stone orbs in a heartbeat. He opened his mouth but no sound came out. He closed it then his icy eyes. He looked down. Foxkit felt his fear fade but he was still wary.

"My name is Jay's Wing," the cat said. "And I'm a shapclaw of the Tribe of Still Water."

Author's Note: I got really ahead on writing then I got really behind. You may notice that the writing style changed halfway through the chapter. My mood affects how much effort I put into writing a lot. Expect a weird update schedule.

Between this chapter and the last, I'm getting really off track from my plans but I like it. Usually I don't work on a story as I'm positing it but I'm enjoying being able to use feedback to change the story.

Originally no one was going to find out about Jay's Wing until the end but it's way cooler this way. I honestly don't remember any defining personality traits or close relationships between a lot of the characters who haven't been main characters. I always just tuned them out as background characters but I realize that most of the cats in ThunderClan have a lot of their own stuff going on. Some people have been suggesting/ asking about the other apprentices and kits so I decided to write them in. I never thought Foxleap or Icecloud were important characters until I read some fanfic with them and I started remembering things from the books.

You guys really seemed to like the (not) Dark Forest thing. I'm glad. There'll be a bit more of that in the future.