Chapter 2: Forward...

"In the shadows, they fall and they broke

The fire burns in our eyes!

We are lost like the legion of souls

Only the lonely know"

-"Only the Lonely" by INDIANA

The pain

The pain made everything else go away

The pain is what he felt in his entire body.

The pain spread inside of him, like butter on toast.

It could be similar; the fact that his body could almost be crisp thanks to the feeling.

The pain left a scarcity of his regular reliefs.

They all vanished within a movement of the body.

He did not want it.

Already, his body begged for the serene state he once was in.

He did not want it anymore

He begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged…

"Get up, Haise."

[2] Haise Sasaki snapped away from his trance and was now back to where he was in in position: spread out on the floor. He sighed in disappointment as he had come to the realization that he was over exaggerating the pain again. Every time he sparred with his mentor, Special Investigator Kishou Arima, he expects him to give him the worst kind of pain. The most powerful Investigator would not hesitate to not show mercy to his foe. He was full of surprises and there was no telling what he would do.

Yet somehow, he doesn't show his infliction onto Haise.

Eyeing his disciple on the floor, Arima sighed before he headed towards him. "You should work on your style of attack next time," he commented, holding out a free hand to the half-ghoul Investigator.

Haise looked at Arima, hesitating since he was afraid he would attack again. After a while, he raised his hand to hold onto the other. In a swift move, he was now on his feet again.

Realizing that Arima was waiting for him to speak, Haise nodded slightly. "Yes, Arima."

Arima nodded back to him before releasing his grip and walking away, probably to clean up the mess they both made when they sparred. "Now, enough about Urie. Let's get back to why I called you here."

Haise fixed his sleeves and dusted of small remnants of the floor from his pin-striped pants. "It's about Serpent, right?"

Arima didn't even nod as an assurance. "Considering that you managed to let him escape, as well as Torse." Haise attempted to hide a nervous chuckle, but it was the few beads of sweat that made Arima realize his student's incompetence. "Though this is the first time that I have seen a ghoul so ambitious to kill one of our most wanted."

"I guess it could be a coincidence," Haise suggested. His eyes shone with an expectancy that Arima would be fine with his vague theory.

"Could it be a coincidence that you might know Serpent?" Arima asked.

Haise stood silent. Already, he could feel himself back to where he and his squad fought Torso and Serpent. Not only did her loose control, but he came across and anomaly that even he couldn't evaluate. He had caught a glimpse of Serpent's face when he purposely took off his mask.

His appearance was ironed into his head. He remembered his bronze eyes and hair that he had only seen on medallions that Akira had shown him. The curves of his face; it was slim but mellow. The appearance terrified him. But what terrified him the most was the name that came out of his mouth once he noticed his appearance.

Nishio-senpai…

"Haise?"

Haise blinked and stuttered as Arima called for him. "Oh, uh, forgive me, Arima."

Arima sighed, his eyes closed and his cold demeanor remained. "It's fine if you don't anything. It wouldn't be surprising to see a ghoul or two who knows you."

Haise shook his head. The ebony roots in his hair were the only locks that moved more frequently than his Snow White ones. "It's not that, sir," he admitted. "It's because…I never thought about my past until then."

Arima narrowed his eyebrow. "Really?"

Haise nodded, his posture in an uncomfortable position. "The fact that a person who once knew me appeared before me, just me…it doesn't feel as nostalgic as I expected it to be. I felt something much more different than nostalgia."

Arima quirked his lip, almost as if he was preventing himself from speaking his mind. "If you did not feel nostalgia, then what did you feel?"

Haise looked over to Arima, his position compared to a mad scientist while the Investigator disciple was compared to an Igor. The weight of Arima's question suddenly sounded like an order. He could even tell that his tone was very bland to be spoken in about the topic. Even so, he didn't hesitate to reply.

"…Fear."

The word created an enigma to himself. He may be a half-ghoul and he may understand any emotion he had in the past, but it was different. He knew fear; he knew nostalgia; but he felt them at terrible times. The instinctive panic was not suppose to be formed at a moment to where its climax would excite a person with amnesia like him. Even so, the nostalgia did not remain; what replaced it was terror.

He couldn't even tell if that's expected of him or not.

The shock of the word was effective enough to not let Haise notice Arima walking towards him. He managed to snap out of his thoughts when his mentor playfully knocked his head with the backbone of a book.

"Here," Arima said, the same persona lingering in his face. It was the only thing Haise noticed as he looked up at him. "The book you recommended to me."

One of Haise's eyebrows quirked up. It would have matched the expression of a shrewd yet charming womanizer. Even so, it was not fitting for a man with a quiet and subtle having his eyebrows frozen in position, Haise relaxed his face as he took the book from Arima. "Thanks."

"I enjoyed all of the short stories," Arima commented. "But if I had to choose, my favorite would have to be 'Crossbreed'."

"Arima…"

"It was ingenious of Kafka to include a crossbreed of a kitten and a lamb, but I couldn't help but deem that as a hilarious turn. I mean, out of all the animal he could have chosen to experiment in his story, he chose two adorable yet weak creatures."

"Arima…"

"If I were in his shoes, I would have chosen animals that were much more powerful than the ones listed in the story."

"Arima, did you even listen to me?"

"Yes, and in doing my best to change the subject for your sake."

Haise stepped back and he no longer asked for Arima's attention. Blowing away a strand of hair from his face, Arima continued.

"What's don't in the past is done in the past." He walked close so that he would recreate the same distance he and Haise had before. "If you cannot remember what happened to you in your past, then you stop yourself from experiencing what's happening now. Even if you're curious, don't hesitate to destroy those suspicions."

"That's a little brutal, Arima."

"Who do you even think you're talking to?" Arima's glance shone too bright, the confidence in his heart almost making it intimidating.

Haise's eyes dimmed and looked down. "Sorry," he apologized again.

"Stop apologizing, Haise. Again, if you don't know anything, you don't know anything." He stared at him. "Still, I'm starting to suspect something. Could it be your voice talking again?"

Haise looked up in a quick flash. "I don't know," he replied. He remembers that voice. The one that keeps telling him to "accept him" and "use him". It's scary, because not only is the voice intimidating but from the way he asks for it…it's not hard to realize that that voice must be his past self.

"Maybe it could be it again," Arima said. "Could it be that, because of that voice, you desperately want to know your past? Like your past friends or family?"

Haise shook his head, not realizing that his hand was on his chin. "No, I'm really happy living like this. Even if I did remember my past, I would choose this life over that one."

Arima clicked his tongue. "That's a rather blunt answer, Haise. What about your family, if you have one?"

His hand still remained on his chin, moving it as if there was a scratch he wanted to soothe. "I wouldn't want to try. It doesn't matter, anyway; I already have a family. The Quinx squad are like kids, plus I actually think of you like family." His eyes widened and his hand moved down to his side, embarrassment rushing through his cheeks.

Arima playfully smiled, but his eyes remained dull. "In that case, I expect to meet my grandchildren soon. Now, help me wipe the desk please."

A blush crept in through Haise's cheeks, wondering if Arima's comment was a tease towards him, and he chuckled before he assisted the Investigator with the desk.

As he helped him, Haise's mind went astray. He was thinking about the conversation earlier. While he did say aloud that he did not care about his past, he suddenly had curiosity crowding his mind. Did he have parents? Was he an orphan? Was he an outcast? Was he popular? Questions like that ran in circles and he had no clue how to answer them. He did want to try and meet the people that were known for creating his first unknown years. Nineteen years and he doesn't know what happened in that time. He wondered if there could be anybody that could recognize him.

What did he leave behind?

"Have a great day!"

Rui gaily said to two customers as they were about to leave the cafe. The way the child properly bowed was so effectual that it made the customers' hearts melt. With their hearts filled with bliss and satisfaction, the customers waved goodbye to Rui, who was unaware that they were nice enough to send her their departing salutations.

Touka looked towards her child as she was preparing coffee. Even while she wasn't paying attention to how the coffee was made, she paid her attention towards Rui.

"Touka-chan!" Yoriko exclaimed, breaking Touka's gaze. She turned away to face Yoriko, giving her her lovable expression while it still showed worry. "You need to focus on the coffee. You don't want any customers to stop coming."

Touka rolled her eyes and set her teapot down on the counter and looking towards the vermillion-haired human girl. "If that's the case, Yoriko, then where are the muffins?"

Yoriko's eyes widened as she heard the special keyword. She turned away from her best friend and opened the oven behind her to bring out a tray of muffins. Black smoke, barely a wisp much to Touka's relief, escaped the oven and exhausted the roof of the muffins. While the fumes were not dangerous, the unpleasant aroma entered the women's lungs and made them vent out coughing.

"Yoriko," Touka coughed, her hand waving away at the smoke until it dissipated into thin air, "one of these days, you're gonna burn down a building."

"Now, don't complain, Touka-chan," Yoriko affirmed. She set her tray on the countertop to let the thin excess of smoke escape from the muffins. When they disappeared completely, she grabbed a muffin and presented it towards Touka and herself. "See?" She brought the muffin underneath her nose and sniffed. "It still looks delicious."

Touka smiled as she saw her friend twirling the muffin. While it had gotten through a hideous trouble, it still had it's natural shade of brown. Even if all human food looked disgusting to her, she was able to see what looked good and what didn't. It did come in handy whenever Yoriko made her her special dishes.

"Alright, then," Touka said. "If they're still good, then go ahead and wrap them up and put them on display."

Yoriko giggled, her hand covering her mouth. "You're still as demanding as ever, Touka-chan."

"I only act like this since it's work. Now could you please hurry with the muffins?"

"Yes, Boss!" Yoriko saluted the manager before she grabbed the tray and walked over to a different part of the countertop, possibly thinking about double-checking the muffins. Touka could tell in her face that some did not turn out like the one Yoriko displayed.

"Mommy!"

Touka turned her head to see her daughter running towards her, her polished shoes making loud clanks on the tiled floor. She smiled as she knelt know to reach towards her height, making herself hidden behind the counter.

"Mommy, can I try making coffee?"

Touka nodded before grabbing a tall stool and setting it next to her. She grabbed Rui by the waist, trying not to ruin her dress, and placed her on top of the stool. Without her mother's help, Rui began to gather all the necessities needed for making her coffee. After a few minutes, she started pouring her coffee into one of the cups placed in front of her by Touka.

"This looks good, sweetie," Touka said. "Now let's see how it tastes."

She picked up the cup but the handle and let the rim touch her lips as she tasted it. Smacking her lips, she put the cup down. "The coffee is a bit bitter again."

"Really?" Rui whined.

Touka ruffled her hair. "Don't worry, Rui. It's getting there. You just have to be a bit more patient with it."

Rui smiled, raising her small fists. "I'll do my best next time, Mommy!"

Touka smiled. My daughter is so cute, she thought. Every time she sees her trying to make coffee like her, it warms her heart. She can't drink coffee yet, but it was nice to see how determined she was in making coffee and following her footsteps.

The sounds of a bell were heard, and Touka looked up to shout her greetings. "Hi, welcome to :re!"

The customers were a young man, about in his mid-30's with short orange hair, and a young girl, dressed in a school uniform, holding onto his hand. Once he heard her salutations, he smiled as he approached her near the counter.

"What can I get for you today, sir?" Touka asked as she grabbed Rui to put her down.

"I'll take an espresso to go, please," the man replied as he grabbed money from his wallet.

"Coming right up," she said as she moved the stool.

The man looked down to his daughter and picked her up from the ground to place her on one of the seats. "Do you want a muffin, Izumi?"

Izumi didn't hesitate to nod her head. Touka smiled and nodded to assure her that she'll get it as well. As she made the coffee, Rui snuck around the countertop and climbed one of the chairs next to Izumi. She started staring at her, not caring that anybody would notice. Apparently, Touka was the first.

"Rui!" She said. "Stop staring."

Rui turned away from Izumi, changing her gaze towards her hands on her lap. The man looked towards the girl who was mentioned.

"I'm so sorry, sir," she apologized. "She's really calm.

The man smiled. "It's alright. We all have kids who act that way. How old is she?"

"She just turned four last week," Touka replied, mixing the ingredients together with her pot.

"Oh, she's almost Izumi's age," the man said, now taking a seat next to his daughter. "Though she's almost going to turn six in a few weeks."

"Are you in school?" Izumi asked Rui, making her eyes move from her lap.

Rui shook her head. "Not yet. You look nice in your uniform."

Izumi smiled, fixing your hat. "Thank you! My daddy said I have to wear it every day for school!"

Rui suddenly started to look confused. "Da–ddy?"

Izumi nodded. "He says that everybody has to wear it, though I have to take very good care of it."

"Which is true, Izumi," said the man, placing a kiss on her forehead, making her giggle. Rui still looked confused as she stared at the girl and her father.

"He's not your uncle?" She asked.

Touka looked up from her process of pouring the coffee into the cup, being shocked at what Rui said. Izumi tilted her head. "No, he's my daddy. You have one too, right?"

Rui stood in her seat like a statue, not knowing what to say. It was like she was not known to the word and meaning. Part of that had to be Touka's blame. Looking down, the dark-haired child shook her head. "No."

Izumi stared at her, her eyes wide. "Really? That's so weird. You're weird for not having a daddy!"

"Izumi, that's enough!" The man intervened, turning himself towards Touka, who was suddenly scared for her daughter. "I'm so sorry about her. She's really blunt whenever she meets a new person."

Touka shook her head slowly as a way to say that it's alright, but in truth, she wasn't paying attention to him. She was in her own thoughts about what Rui must be feeling. She was reminded about how she never once mentioned her father to her. She never asked about him, but she still hated herself for only talking about him behind her back.

Shaking her head, not doing anything to forget what she experienced, she poured the coffee in the to-go cup and gave it, along with a chocolate muffin, to the man in front of him. "Thank you for coming to :re." She bowed, probably not wanting to see his face.

The man smiled, giving his money in front of her before he grabbed his daughter by her waist and setting her down on the ground. He grabbed the coffee and muffin, and the father and daughter exited out of :re without turning back. Rui looked at them both as they left, her joyful face being wiped away as if she was thinking about what happened. Touka couldn't clearly see her face, but she could sense her daughter's wonder.

"Rui?" She asked. Rui turned away from the door and looked at her mother, her face still not being happy. "Are you okay?"

Shaking her head, as a way to snap her out of her thoughts, Rui smiled at Touka, placing her fingers on her chin. "I'm fine, Mommy," she replied before she climbed down the chair to walk to the door to greet more future customers.

She didn't say anything to her mother for the rest of the day.

1. To be honest, I had no idea what I was thinking when I chose this song. I had trouble trying to find one that would fit since this is was hard for me write as it was. I found INDIANA a couple of years back when I was thirteen, and I suddenly found her again this year ironically. I really liked this song, But I don't know if it applies to the setting and tone to this chapter. But I did my best, and I hope this will be suitable for the chapter.

2. The struggle for introducing Haise was fucking real. I had so much trouble trying to introduce him that I had to take some parts from the manga to make it go in with the story. So I'm sorry if this is not how you would imagine him to be introduced.

It's been a long week, hasn't it? Sorry about that! I'm trying so hard to keep myself in check with this story and my other one with Underworld. I promise that I will do my best. Everybody is actually really liking this story, from what I can gather when already 20 of you followed me in the first week. I'm so excited for this story and what will happen in the future. With that, I'll see you all next time!